#3253 Below Deck Down Under S04E06 Part One: Textual Desires

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens – Below Deck Down Under S04E06, Pt. 1 "Textual Desires"

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: March 10, 2026
Episode Number: 3253

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie dig deep into Season 4, Episode 6 of Below Deck Down Under, skewering the latest boat drama, focusing on workplace gossip, messy flirtations, and the fallout from a drunken night out. The hosts bring their signature blend of playful mockery and Bravo-obsessed wit to every moment, sharing personal stories about sleep disruptions and airline mishaps while dissecting the crew dynamics from the show. The bulk of this "Part One" centers on the soap opera that is Mike’s gossiping and the ongoing saga of flirtations, alliances, and petty grievances among the yachties.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sleep Disasters & Personal Tangents (03:32–10:11)

• Ben’s Red-Eye Flight Nightmare:
  Ben recounts a surreal overnight flight involving a mysterious, potentially drunk girl repeatedly falling on him (“If you fall on someone and you don’t say anything, I’m just gonna assume you’re drunk.” — Ben, 08:09).
• Ronnie’s Fire Alarm Troubles:
  Ronnie shares his own sleep-shattering story — a smoke detector gone off in the dead of night, leading to ladder acrobatics in his underwear.

Tone: The hosts riff on these as metaphors for being rudely awoken by chaos, drawing parallels to the drama aboard the yacht.

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2. The “Mike is a Gossip” Chronicles (10:11–18:43, 20:42–32:15)

• Judging Mike From the Start:
  Both hosts agree Mike has always come off as a “creeper,” noting his awkward vibes and questionable approach to flirting (“He’s just annoying… someone who’d be so annoying to work with because he does just gossip all day, but like, not in a fun, kiki way.” — Ben, 11:46).
• Gossiping as a (Bad) Personality Trait:
  Ronnie calls out Mike’s sanctimoniousness: “You’re just jerking your dick on OnlyFans and then coming to get on everybody else’s morals about everything. Shut up.” (12:09)
• Mike’s Inappropriate Behavior:
  Mike continues stirring the pot, bringing up Alicia’s flirtations despite her having a boyfriend, and generally failing at doing his actual work.
• The Team’s Frustration:
  Crew members and department heads (esp. Daisy and Joao) are exasperated by Mike’s lack of focus and relentless (but not fun) gossiping.

Notable Quote:
“Spend less time implanting ball hair onto your scalp. Okay.” — Ronnie, 22:22
[The hosts discuss the rumor Mike had hair plugs from less-than-glamorous sources.]

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3. Flirtations, Love Triangles, & Texts Gone Wrong (13:23–18:43; 26:17–28:12; 34:22–39:43; 54:21–56:27)

• Alicia’s Relationship Woes:
  Alicia’s struggle to define her boundaries is on full display. She acknowledges being a flirt but is also “embarrassed” about crossing the line (“I need to respect the fact that I’m in a relationship. God bless my soul.” — Alicia, as quoted by Ben, 15:18).
• Eddie’s Drunken Text Hail Marys:
  Eddie wakes to discover he sent late-night texts to Alicia, resulting in confusion and embarrassment (“That’s classic Eddie. What a loose man.” — Ben, 28:12).
• Jenna’s Frustrations:
  Jenna feels used in the love triangle and is “put off” (“why lay it on so thick…do the whole drama just for a kiss and then to chat with Alicia.” — Jenna via Ben, 43:25).
• Crew-Wide Awkwardness:
  The fallout from the night’s antics bleeds into the next workday, producing uncomfortable conversations and public gossip on deck — something which Ben points out would be a massive HR violation anywhere else (35:04).

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4. Workplace Dynamics: Confrontation & Accountability (37:53–41:53; 51:34–53:24)

• Daisy and Joao Step In:
  Daisy is the most direct, telling both Mike and Alicia:
  “Mark is wrong for gossiping, and Elise says, what, should 100% stand up for herself, but she doesn’t need to do it… the two of you are dumbasses.” — Ronnie, 41:41
• Mike’s Reckoning:
  At a supervisor meeting, Daisy lays down the law about Mike’s poor work ethic and disruptive gossiping (“You could at any stage, if anyone’s not happy with you in particular, you will be fired.” — Ronnie, 52:33).
• Mike’s Excuses:
  He lists an absurd CV (dating shows, OnlyFans, Ibiza/Majorca parties), to which Ben suggests maybe trying a “real” job for once.

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5. Charter Guest Preview: Enter Mecca (45:08–49:43)

• A New Primary Guest:
  Mecca, founder of Pink (PYNK) magazine, is introduced as the next demanding but potentially delightful charter guest.
• Housewife Tagline Potential:
  The hosts have fun with her confident energy:
  “Everything she says sounds like a housewife tagline. If something’s not up to my standards, you’re definitely gonna know.” — Ronnie, 47:39
• Discounted Luxury:
  They joke about guests presenting as ultra-wealthy but angling for steep discounts — “I’m the richest person in the world and here's my coupon. Do not forget to take 50% off. Thank you, Mecca.” — Ronnie, 48:48

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6. Crew Crushes, Jealousy & Genetic Merging (54:21–56:27)

• Ellie’s Crush on Joao:
  Ellie is jealous and awkward about Alicia’s closeness to Joao (“My genetics are in harm’s way. There’s an intruder for genetic merging.” — Ben, 55:52).
• Creepy Aspirations:
  The hosts lampoon the show’s awkward attempts at romance with sci-fi overtones:
  “Coming soon to Fx, Ellie. Earth like a Space.” — Ben, 56:32

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|--------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 08:09 | Ben | “If you fall on someone and you don’t say anything, I’m just gonna assume you’re drunk.” | | 12:09 | Ronnie | "You’re just jerking your dick on OnlyFans and then coming to get on everybody else’s morals about everything." | | 22:22 | Ronnie | “Spend less time implanting ball hair onto your scalp. Okay.” | | 41:41 | Ronnie | “Mark is wrong for gossiping, and Elise says, what, should 100% stand up for herself, but she doesn’t need to do it… the two of you are dumbasses.” | | 47:39 | Ronnie | “Everything she says sounds like a housewife tagline. If something’s not up to my standards, you’re definitely gonna know.” | | 55:52 | Ben | “My genetics are in harm’s way. There’s an intruder for genetic merging.” |

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Timestamps for Noteworthy Segments

• Ben’s flight story & sleep disasters – 03:32–10:11
• Mike’s gossiping introduced & the “judge a book by its cover” riff – 10:11–12:36
• Alicia’s relationship troubles / Mike as a gossip – 13:23–18:43
• Workplace tension erupts & Daisy intervenes – 37:53–41:53
• Department head intervention with Mike – 51:34–53:24
• Previewing Mecca, the new charter guest – 45:08–49:43
• Ellie, Alicia & Joao – "Genetic merging" and love triangle shenanigans – 54:21–56:27

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Recap Tone & Style

In trademark Watch What Crappens style, Ben and Ronnie are irreverent, quick-witted, and gleefully judgmental. The episode flows as a hilarious blend of personal anecdotes, sharp Bravo commentary, exaggerated voices, and repeated callbacks (Mike’s hair, marching band jokes, “genetic merging”). The dynamic bounces between close observation of Below Deck’s cast and the hosts’ own self-deprecating banter, making the recap as much about comedy and camaraderie as it is about Bravo drama.

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Best For

Listeners who love Below Deck, enjoy gossipy banter, and want a detailed yet comedic recap of everything messy (and meta) in Bravo’s floating workplace soap opera.

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For Part Two of this recap, check the next episode!

Transcript

[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ben Mandelker]

No pressure, just help.

[Ronnie Carom]

But for now, just relax.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who cares what happens when there's so much. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crap ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the glorious beautiful Ronnie Carom. Hello Ronnie, how are you?

[Ronnie Carom]

Hello.

[Ben Mandelker]

Today we are talking below deck down under. But before we get into that, time is running out to watch the crappies replay. After Friday night it is gone forever. So go check that out. Go to watch crappins do and the links are there to watch the replay on Kizwe. Also join us on Patreon because we have all sorts of great stuff on there including a weekly bonus episode there. Our newsletter lives there even if you're not even a Patreon subscriber. We also have Crap is on demand. We can watch us on video today. The treat on video is that I'm back in my childhood bedroom and the the air conditioner still has its bonnet on because it's still a little cool in Katona, although it's warming up. But yes, I'm here in Katona and you can see there's a picture over there and there's a ceiling. Also we have ad free on Patreon and we also there's something else we have amazing on Patreon Discord community. There's something else but Patreon's great. Come join us.

[Ronnie Carom]

Bonuses, ad free newsletter, newsletter other thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's just a great place actually. There's actually a really nice community on Patreon. So just for that alone come join it. So that's a patreon.com watchallcrapins thanks to everyone who joined us for Amazon Live yesterday had a of fun time showing off some glassware and Ronnie showed off some cool kitty pants. So that was all fun. That's all there is about that. But, yes, I am here today. This is a unique recording situation.

[Ronnie Carom]

Not children's pants, hat.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was trying to be cute by saying kitty, but it sounded like kitty cat pants in case.

[Ronnie Carom]

I think I'm like, hey, here's some Japanese pants. Here's some kitty pants.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, not that. But I took a red eye here to Katona because today's my mom's birthday. Happy birthday to my mom. She turned 50 years old. Can you believe it?

[Ronnie Carom]

Three years birthday, Carolyn.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I flew in for my mom's birthday, and so I took a red eye. And this is the first time I've ever recorded after a red eye. And I was really excited because I got. There was like, no one on the plane. It was a fairly empty plane. And so I got upgraded all the way. All the way up to the tippy top to Delta 1. And I was like, yes. And I was especially excited because I knew we were going to recording today. I was like, yeah, that's basically your first. Yeah.

[Ronnie Carom]

Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I was like, oh, good. That means I'll actually get to be able to sleep. I never sleep on red eyes. So, you know, there's like, the seat goes flat and everything. And I was so excited. First of all, also, a lady came on and. And she brought a giant. It's not even a bouquet. She had like 50 to 100 roses. Like a giant. Like, it was like the. The. Like a tree trunk worth of roses. And she was like, can this go in the overhead? I was like, how did that even get past security? This does not carry on. It was bigger than a carry on. And she had all these roses. It was crazy. But that's not the point of the story. The point of the story is I tucked myself in and I went to sleep. And I was sleeping so soundly. And then in the middle of night, I'm jolted awake because someone has fallen on top of me on the airplane. This girl. This girl was coming back from the bathroom and she fell on me. And I was like, what? I was like, what? And so then I like, whoa. And then she got up and she fell back down on me. I was like, what are you doing? And I sort of, like, try to sort of push her up, and she fell again on me. I was like, what is this drunk girl doing? She. She fel. That third time, I literally. I was still lying down. I don't know how I did this. I grabbed her by the waist and I threw her down the aisle. And I go. And I. And I go, please. Because I've just I just woken up and there was like a drunk girl who was falling all over me. Like, so she was drunk. I don't know because then when I woke up in the like all I saw was like headphones and a nose. And she was like. In the morning when the lights came on, I saw her. She's like a 21 year old girl. She didn't show any evidence of being drunk. Maybe there was turbulence, maybe she was disoriented, but she like, follow me once. It's like, you know, follow me once. That's fine. That's not fine, but it's like fine. It's an accident. She didn't even say like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. If she had given me like, I am so sorry, I would be like, hey, it happens to all of us. But she, the entire time she kept her eyes on the back of the plane. Like she was like clearly trying to get to her seat, but she couldn't get there because she kept on falling on me. And I'm like, are you even aware that you've fallen on me?

[Ronnie Carom]

Are you a robot? Why are you not acknowledging that you were just on top of me?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it was like she was just going forward, but she was like sideways on me. And like, I don't even know how I threw her. Like I didn't like throw her, but it's sort of like I sort of. I knew that I couldn't just keep on like tapping her to be like, get off me. I had to actually physically get her away from my seat. So if she's going to fall down, she'll fall on someone else. Because I was sick of being fallen on. And so I, it was just, I felt like I was violating her because I literally grabbed her and her like, it was like I felt her rib cage. I was like. But I literally just had to like take her. And I don't know how I did it from like a lying down position, but I just sort of like took her and I was like, but I don't know why. The only thing I said during the entire thing was, please, please.

[Ronnie Carom]

So nobody said anything. Like the, There are no flight attendants

[Ben Mandelker]

that said like everyone was asleep. The flight attendants weren't there because they were on break. It was like, I was like, what is happening? And then of course I couldn't fall asleep after that. So I got like two and a half, maybe three hours of sleep. But I was sleeping so soundly. And of course the one time I finally sleep soundly, of all the places and of all the empty seats, by the way. She fell on me.

[Ronnie Carom]

So three times. Wow. So when you. When you were leaving, did she say sorry? Like, did she pass by you and

[Ben Mandelker]

say like, so I don't even was aware. I don't think she was aware.

[Ronnie Carom]

I don't.

[Ben Mandelker]

Or she was embarrassed. And I felt bad too, because she was young. So then I was like. She was like a young ginger. And I was like, oh, you know,

[Ronnie Carom]

doesn't she go through enough Ben without being thrown down a plain aisle by some man police.

[Ben Mandelker]

But don't fall on me. Even if there's. If there's. If you fall on someone because of turbulence, I think what you do is you go, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Right? Like that's the natural.

[Ronnie Carom]

If you fall on.

[Ben Mandelker]

If you fall on someone and you don't say anything, I'm just gonna assume you're drunk.

[Ronnie Carom]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I think she was now. Now that I said wow.

[Ronnie Carom]

But anyway, that's my adventure. Well, we are connected because I was also woken up in the middle of the night. Nobody fell on me. But mine was. The fire alarm thing just started going. You know, it does that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh.

[Ronnie Carom]

And then it goes like. There's like two minutes where nothing. You wake up and it's like, what was that? Well, I was just dreaming maybe.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yep.

[Ronnie Carom]

And you start falling back asleep. And then it goes,

[Ben Mandelker]

yep.

[Ronnie Carom]

It's like, God damn it. And it's a really high ceiling. So I was like, oh, I'm just going to ignore it. So then I start falling asleep. So got. Got pull out that ladder, walk, waddle out there in my underwear, get the ladder dragging into and dig through all the drawers to see where I had the D, not D battery. What do you call the little button batteries? The ones with the buttons, whatever they are, the button batteries. Had to dig for that. Which I'm proud of myself for having, because that's. That's some dad energy right there to just have a. A stack of those button batteries if you need them. I was proud. I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, the first rule of smoke detectors is if the battery dies, it's only going to tell you in the. In the dead of night. It's like. Well, I don't want to interrupt him. He seems like he's having a nice breakfast and I don't know, like he's working. I probably shouldn't interrupt. You know when we should do it? Let's do it at 2am yeah. Yeah.

[Ronnie Carom]

When nothing's going on. Always.

[Ben Mandelker]

I literally just did that a month ago.

[Ronnie Carom]

And you can't even just take out the battery because it still keeps beeping. You have to like, figure out how to unplug it from the little sock, whatever. And the one in still unplugged. So I'm probably gonna die, but whatever.

[Ben Mandelker]

I same, same thing happened to me. I literally a month ago, it was three in the morning, and next thing I know, I'm like hauling a little step ladder upstairs to climb onto it. I'm like bleary eyed, I'm like the girl on the airplane. I'm about to fall over or something and I'm like climbing up and I'm like, you're trying to take it apart and still, like, even though you're at the top of the ladder, it's still a little too high. So you have like this weird thing with your arms. You're pulling at it and doesn't come out and you're like, oh, I'll just stop beeping.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah, well, the point is below deck, am I right? So here we are with below deck. Down Under Season four Episode is six Gossip Boy, this guy's such a creeper. This mic, we all knew he's a creeper. He grossed everybody out in the beginning. And you know, my thought in the beginning was, okay, just because he has stupid hair and stupid eyebrows doesn't mean you should judge him. You know, don't judge a book by its cover. But then the other part of me is like, well, how else do you buy a book? You look at the COVID and if the cover's stupid, you don't buy it. Of course you judge a book by its cover. You read the back cover, you look at the. The author picture on the. You judge the book by its cover. That's the point of a book cover. So yes, you should judge books by their cover.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, if we don't judge books by their cover, why do they even have covers in the first place? Beyond protecting the interior pages? Why is there an entire industry devoted to, like, to. To people and places being depicted? Why does Fabio have a career if we're not judging by a cover?

[Ronnie Carom]

Exactly. So judge books by their cover. This guy was gross from the beginning. We all knew he was going to end up being a creeper. He's still, you know, on the fairly innocent side of being a creeper with his whole Ellie thing, but his whole, like last week trying to kiss Ellie and then her not kissing him, but then just like pecking him because he was already like, in her fucking face and then just going, michael, you're only going to get a pack. And then his reaction is like, ooh, I got to pick from Ellie. I got the pack. I've got a chance.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, you're so gross.

[Ronnie Carom]

Just stop.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mike, he's just annoying. I don't know. For me, I'm. I'm just. I'm less grossed out and more just, like, over it. Like, he's just like, someone who'd be so annoying to work with because he does just gossip all day, but, like, not in a fun, kiki way. It's more like he just walks up to, like, did you hear the thing about the soda machine? I'm like, I don't care. I'm trying to, like, do my forms right now, you know?

[Ronnie Carom]

And he's also, like, a judgy gossip, which I'm a judgy gossip, too. I mean, listen to this show. Like, we're gossips, and I judge. But he's. I don't know. It's. Yeah, he's not a fun gossip. It's not like, oh, so and so is cheating on their boyfriend. It's like, they're cheating and they have a relationship. They should respect their. Shut up, town crier. What are you so moral about? You're just jerking your dick on onlyfans and then coming to get on everybody else's morals about everything. Shut up. It's none of your business.

[Ben Mandelker]

He only got sanctimonious to justify the fact that he was gossiping because he got into trouble. You know, so things. Everyone's waking up. It's six. Most people would have thought it was maybe 7am Some would have even thought it was 6:55am but the reality was it was 6:56am and everyone woke. Yeah, it was a minute later. You know, a lot can happen in a minute. A girl could just fall down on you in that span of the minute, and your entire day has changed.

[Ronnie Carom]

You know, your whole life changes. It was your sliding doors moment. How different would your life be if that girl hadn't fallen?

[Ben Mandelker]

I would have had probably another hour of sleep.

[Ronnie Carom]

So happen in a minute.

[Ben Mandelker]

Me,

[Ronnie Carom]

6:56am Jenna. Jenna is waking up and telling Alicia, harry tried to kiss me a thousand times last night. And she's like, did he? Oh, that's crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Crazy.

[Ronnie Carom]

Then we go to Mike and Eddie, and Eddie's showering, and they're talking, and Mike's like, I'm so proud of you, Eddie. I'm proud of you. I don't know. I just. I don't know why. It just Feels like last night you were on fire. You're on fire last night.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, yeah, I had a really good time last night. And then Ben does this weird strut out of the guest room. He's like, wearing all white. He. He looks like he just took some weird exercise class. And then, Jenna, any man with wine.

[Ronnie Carom]

He's like a skinny. He's like a skinny holder of, like, a wine sack.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's. It was strange. It was a strange look. And then Jenna and Betul and Alicia are getting ready, and Jenna's talking about how. How Eddie tried to kiss. Kiss her last night and everything. And then he's. It's like the day after they're all catching up. And Eddie is now telling my, like, you know who did keep giving me a funny eye, though? Alicia. Anytime I was there with them, you know, Jenna or Elisa, she kept a. And being like. And Mike's like, yeah, we were sort of, like, cracking on with everyone else. Maybe that's attention thing. She needs it. She's feeling a little.

[Ronnie Carom]

Little bit left behind.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's basically saying, like, you know, Alicia's got a boyfriend. She's such a free spirit, fun girl. I wonder how fun her boyfriend is.

[Ronnie Carom]

I mean, her boyfriend's been her boyfriend for two months. So, yeah, we can all calm down over here. So then we go to Jenna and Alicia, and Jenna's like, yeah, that's a great guy. It's really cute. Then Alicia says, yeah, I mean, he's gonna go get himself a kiss, no matter who it is. And Batul's like, alicia, be a good friend, please. And she's like, it's just banter. It's just banter. Vital.

[Ben Mandelker]

The text that he sent was just so ridiculous. I'm like, actually, you sent the first text, but that's okay, actually, I'm, like, embarrassed. My boyfriend knows I'm a flirt, and he actually always enjoys that about me. And he can trust that I would never do anything wrong, but he knows I'm. And he knows I'm gonna be faithful. But last night, that took it a step too far. I need to respect the fact that I'm in a relationship. God bless my soul. I'm like, you literally just said on TV that you will go to another country to avoid breaking up with someone. And then you went and flirted with someone else. So it's more than just the text or the issue here.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah, Alicia, I don't know that. That poor boyfriend. And she's like, on the hotness scale, she's like, way hotter than the other boyfriend because they keep showing the pictures of the other boyfriend. And I'm like, yeah, this girl that. He's a temp. He's definitely a temp.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he's sort of giving, like, Zoloft ball energy. And I'm like, I don't think this is gonna work out.

[Ronnie Carom]

That's a good way to put it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie Carom]

So I feel like he has a really big truck and a really tiny wiener.

[Ben Mandelker]

Not that fun. Easy. So then in the galley, Eddie is talking to Ben about last night, and he's saying, like, yeah, Jen and I were playing, like, truth or dare. It's like, oh, did you guess? He's like, ye. Did you kiss around the. On the sugar lumps? He's like, yes, I did. Ben's like, oh, I think young love

[Ronnie Carom]

on a boat is a healthy thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I'm happy for both Jenna and Eddie. Did I sound sincere? Because I really am trying, because Jenna's pretty, but she's a very pretty girl, you know? But I'm not blind, you know, I didn't initiate anything, and I probably won't. I've just got over a pretty tough relationship. I don't know if you've heard $50,000 for wedding that didn't happen.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah. Ben, I'm. I don't know how that relationship with Jen is going to work anyway. I can't really imagine Jen in a relationship. I can't imagine Ben in a relationship with anybody, Ellie. Except, like, a box.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just remember.

[Ronnie Carom]

I just don't see it working out.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, no. I just remember when we walked by him at BravoCon, and he was on the slots, and he was just there, just, like, drunk, alone, just heading on the slots and, like, smoking a cigarette with a big smile on his face. And I was like, okay.

[Ronnie Carom]

We said hi, and he's like, okay, well, have fun. Good talk.

[Ben Mandelker]

Good talk. Good talk.

[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ronnie Carom]

purchased, so now it's 27 hours until charter. Actually it's 26 hours and 47 minutes. Because it's 9:13am so they're cleaning the boat, and Alicia goes to her sanctuary, the laundry. And then Jennifer calls Alicia to the cabins, and everyone's annoyed because they're hungover, you know, so clean, clean, clean, clean. So now in the galley, Jason sees Ben, and he's like, oh, Benny boy, how'd you sleep there? And he's like, I got 10 hours. I actually feel a bit guilty.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Alicia and Mike are cleaning cabins, and Mike is like, he enjoys making beads. And she's like, shut up. Do you enjoy making bees? She's like, I do enjoy doing my job properly. Come on. He's like, yeah. Do you know, if I. If. If I was your boyfriend at home, I'd be fuming. She's like, yeah, I know. Because, like, for me, I don't care. I'm single. But if you're me girlfriend or me wife, she's like, I don't want to hear it today. Let's make this bed, please.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah, who asked you? And you wouldn't know anyway, because you're never gonna get a girlfriend, okay? You fucking creepo. That guy' just always in his. He's always in a bar, like, dancing by himself, all greasy, hitting on people that don't want to be hit on, and then not stopping, like, oh, you don't fancy dance, do ya? And then he'll, like, send you, like, a side of peanuts or something and then, like, wink at you from the end of the bar. You know, you're just a creep. Just. And just constantly asking to play Jimmy Buffett on the. You know, on the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bit more time. Spend more time looking. Looking up. A decent haircut. And then less time focusing on other people's relationships. Leave that up.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah. Spend less time implanting ball hair onto your scalp. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Spend less time forming your hair into the shape of the rubber things at the bottom of a crutch.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah. I've spent less time trying to look like a dust bunny that I have to clean up after every time I pet my dog.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Yeah. And then we'll talk.

[Ronnie Carom]

And then.

[Ben Mandelker]

So in the galley.

[Ronnie Carom]

Well, so then we'll have a meeting, Mike, about my morals.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's exactly right. In the galley. Ellie and Ben are there moral. Moral. The story is. Shut up. So Ben is like, all right, honey nuggets, let's clean this up. It's time to rock and roll, love.

[Ronnie Carom]

We're getting there. I'm starting from here, then I'm working my way around because that is The. I'm organizationally. Well, I'm one of those people that have to have a very clean, very Zen environment. You know, that's what they always say about me. Ben. Zen. Zen Ben. So I can attribute my timing delays a bit to the discombobulation of this bloody shambolic machine that I live in. And I'm gonna sort her out. I'm gonna sort her out.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Ben starts. He's cleaning this oven. He's all. Ben is so excited to be like, I'm gonna be on top of things. This chatter. So he's cleaning this oven, and basically the fan starts doing what you smoke detector did, except it's giving me, like, this weird, like, sad little alarm. I say, I'm sad. I'm a fan, and I'm sad.

[Ronnie Carom]

I'm a sad fan. So it's like, God damn it, what's happening to this? I don't do this. Please don't do this. I don't need this today. So then we go to Jason's. The most likable thing about Jason. I don't hate Jason or anything. I just think he, like, avoids confrontation when that's kind of his job. But I do love this about him. He loves Peanut M&MS. The man is always eating a peanut M M. So he's. He's chomping. He's chomping on his peanut M M's. He dropped some, and then he picked it up and he ate it. Because that's what you do with peanut M M's, and that's why they were made so hard and smooth, because even if you drop them, they don't collect dust or germs

[Ben Mandelker]

melting your mouth. Not in your boyfriend's hand. Why weren't you putting it in his hand so

[Ronnie Carom]

that Eminem was talking to you? Your boyfriend's not gonna like that. Talking to, talking to. By agreeing Eminem boyfriend's gonna be very, very upset.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, if the other M was hanging out with an N, then you have an M M. So then Jason is. Ben calls Jason. He's like, I'm to the galley. Please, please, please do the opposite of my bride and come to me. And so. So Jason goes to the galley, and he's like, there's a. There's a fan malfunction. And I can't do the tata without this seven. It's. So they call, you know, Boris the engineer, and he's like, well, you know, it's fun. Fan broken. We order new fan. But, you know, what can you do?

[Ronnie Carom]

You can What a fan. You need a new fan. Got a new fan. It doesn't work. Well, I started to get new fan. You know, the fan come when it wants. Got the fan, man. And then we go to Eddie and Jenna and they're talking about their day, and Eddie's like, oh, today's pretty fun story for kissing you last night. She's like, no, it's fine. You don't have to apologize for that at all. And he's like, well, I should have asked first, shouldn't I? And she's like, well, I never expected to kiss her today, but it's like my first mustache, you know, it's not really my type in general. I don't think my future husband will be doing manual labor. He'll also be an older guy, of course, but. But he has a screw head screwed on properly. He's a hard worker. He's so kind, but it's kind of cute. But mullet mustache. I can't do it. I can't do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Poor women on this boat, they really don't have too many options. It's like Ben, who is like a melting candle of a human. And then you got Eddie and you got Mike. It's just. And Joao. There's just really not a lot to offer. And Eddie, to me, Eddie seems really nice, but he also, his energy is kind of like. He's like the cool guy in the marching band fraternity. So it's like, okay, you're like, you are the cool guy in your social circle, but you're overall in the weird fraternity that is like endlessly doing 80s music, like dance parties. And I love an 80s dance party, don't get me wrong. But we know the vibe of this frat, don't we? And he's like the cool guy. They're all like, wow, there's Eddie. He's the cool guy. But to the rest of the campus, everyone's like, like, okay, yeah, he may

[Ronnie Carom]

be a cool guy there, but he still gets pushed into a locker, you know? So then Eddie and Joao are in the mess, and Eddie's looking through his text and he's like, holy, when did I send these? I don't even remember. Oh, God. Below deck, where nobody remembers anything the next day. It's a time honored tradition where nobody remembers anything. Oh, please, you guys aren't all that blackout drunk. Cop to it, okay? Grow. Grow a pair. So Joao's like, what did you say in the text? He's like, well, Lisa texted me last night. Oh, God, I don't remember. She Said, I haven't a clue what's going on in my head, but you need to get out of it. Oh, wow. And believe me when I say I haven't been able to stop looking at you. And then she goes, call me crazy, but I'm not wrong. Same too. But you've been getting it on with Jenna. And I said I would drop it in a second to be an alien with you. Oh, dear. See how that goes down? Make a right, make a left, make a right. Right. Then you're in a square. A square and a march and a march and a square.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, eddie, Eddie, there's no game happening right now. So he's like, oh, dear me, Drunk Eddie, sending out hail Marys at 3am that's not great. I want to make more of an effort with Jenna. Like, getting more and more, you know, I like getting to know her more and more. Oh, man, I'm in this. What am I to do? Like, that's classic Eddie over there. Classic Eddie. What a lose, man.

[Ronnie Carom]

It's gonna be a explosion, mate.

[Ben Mandelker]

Are you.

[Ronnie Carom]

Are you marching to I'm Bad by Michael Jackson?

[Ben Mandelker]

Are people not going into formation? We're supposed to be making a goldfish on the field. There is no field. We're on a yacht.

[Ronnie Carom]

Sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Old habits die hard.

[Ronnie Carom]

So they continue. You know, I have a friend who's a band. Marching band director. She is, like, a choreographer. A choreographer and director of marching bands. That is some serious shit. She's been doing it for, like, 30 years. It's crazy. And they are intense people, those marching band people. They're no joke.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Carom]

She's like, oh, my God, look at that formation. Like, she'll watch it on tv, like, the competitions and stuff. Oh, what a sloppy formation. I'm like, they are literally shaped in the form of a bird that's flying. Amazing. It's like, losers. Like, lift your knees. Like, wow. It's really intense. It's a lot more intense than I ever thought it would be.

[Ben Mandelker]

I have a vendetta against the marching band because in college, my dorm was relatively close to the football field. And on game days, the marching band, for whatever reason, would come running through our dorm and only our Dorm at, like, 9 in the morning to be like, come to the game, and they'd, like, make all this noise, and it wake me up every Saturday. And I was like, go fuck yourselves. I'm not gonna go to the game at a protest because of you. I hated the marching band because of that. Otherwise, I mean, they were fun of the games. But, like, don't come running through my dorm and pound on my door to get me to go to the game. That's not how it's gonna work.

[Ronnie Carom]

Hi. Just please disregard that. Anybody who's been listening to us plug the crappies for the past. We do that to people's ears. That's what we do.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, but we don't wake them.

[Ronnie Carom]

Get outside. Get outside. The Golden Crab is right now, right? It was yesterday. It was yesterday. It was. You can still watch it. You can still watch it. It was yesterday. We're running through the hallways, banging on doors.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're not waking people up. And that's. That seems to be the ongoing theme of this episode, is different ways that we've been woken up. And I would have to say drunk. Like, possibly drunk girl falling on you three times in a row. That's like. That's probably worse. Followed followed by annoying smoke detector. But I'm gonna say marching bands storming through when you're, like, hung where you got wasted the night before is.

[Ronnie Carom]

That's.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's a bad one as well.

[Ronnie Carom]

That's.

[Ben Mandelker]

We'll come up with others over the course of the episode, I'm sure.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah, it's a bad one. So they continue every clean, clean, clean. So now Joao's talking to Daisy and checking in with her because they made out last night, you guys. And he's like, it was a good night. You know, just a little ropey this morning, but I'll power through. And she's like, there's a hookup with anyone. He's like, well, no, no. Well, I mean, I'm not just here for a hookup anymore, especially with the yachting, because I'm a captain now. I'm a very, very different man. You stupid cut. Fitness. And she's like, fair, Fair. That's fair. It's like, I apologize for dropping you in the sand. See, they're very romantic.

[Ben Mandelker]

In Zim. In Zim. That is the height of being a gentleman, actually. But I apologize nevertheless. I wasn't ropey in Zim.

[Ronnie Carom]

Normally, we would wait for our wedding night. When everybody is gathered around us, we say, I do. And then I take the bride, I pick her up, and I throw her in the sand. But we're not married yet. That was a step too far. I'm sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

They say it was derived from the Jewish tradition of stomping on some glass. So instead, what we do is we throw the bride on the sand.

[Ronnie Carom]

That's okay. You nearly caught me. And then you dropped me. It's More than Gary ever did commercials.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ronnie Carom]

So then we go to get Eddie and Mike cleaning the deck. And Mike's like, eddie, Eddie, Eddie. And he's like, oh, I don't remember, mate. But I was pissed last night, you know, just thinking of Lisa. It's just all about her being like, I can't get you out of my head. And then I said same. He's like, what is this, the love boot? It's the Love Boat.

[Ben Mandelker]

Did you tell Joel about Alessia message you before bed? And he's like, yeah, of course I did. Because I've told literally every single person on this Boat. And Mike is like, when you were getting off with Jenna, I think she just got jealous. Like Lisa has always said, I've had a bit of a flirt. So Elisa walks out while they're talking about this, and so they're like, ooh, awkward. So then Mike is trying to make it unawkward by. He does this thing where he's like, oh, good, we need. We need to work something out here. And I feel like you're part of this. And so then. And then he. And then Eddie pulls out a chair for her to sit in, which, by the way, this is actually so incredibly inappropriate for a workplace. Be like, we hooked up last night, and now we're talking about it, and now you have to sit here and answer questions about it. Like, this would actually be a massive HR violation in any other workplace already, and we haven't even gotten into it.

[Ronnie Carom]

There is no HR on Below deck. This show would have been shut down years ago. HR is called, like, Honey Relax. It's the Honey Relax department. What are you upset about? Honey Relax.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's HR Stands for Get over here, Honey Riblets. So Mike.

[Ronnie Carom]

So.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Mike is like, have a seat. Okay. We're just talking about how you were messaging Eddie, which is, like, so embarrassing for her. Well, I should say it's doesn't in her based on what she's saying. She's embarrassed. And Alicia is like, you know what? I told you to off and just stop being a drunken idiot, basically. And Eddie's like, kind of. And she's like, I wish you paid more attention to the job that you're supposed to be doing than thinking about what other people are texting. Unless you have texts directly, it wasn't anything to do with you. He's like, no, but when someone comes to me and said that Alicia was messaging us last night, she's like, you said that, Eddie. He's like, where? I. I didn't said it in a bad way. I said it in a. Wouldn't it be fun if we did a marching band formation of me and Alicia doing it?

[Ronnie Carom]

I didn't say it in a bad way. I was just trying to give him a boner. Is that so wrong? And she's like, I just like to flirt to make myself feel better. All right? Because I'm flat out with work and there's so much to do, and you're busy up here talking about who's flirting with who when. I'm sorry, but I'm stressed. And when I'm stressed, I flirt with random people. Mike's like, actually, I'm hoovering up here, so I'm cleaning. Oh, God, I'm bored of this conversation. If I hear you gossiping instead of working one more fucking time, I'm gonna shave the bald hair off of your head. All right?

[Ben Mandelker]

The bush shaved the bald hair off. So Michael, he's like, no, oh, I just had bald hair. I was like, oh, that's. That was sort of no, because I

[Ronnie Carom]

think he got like a. He got the ball. He got his ball hair taken and put on top of his head in turkey. That's why I might.

[Ben Mandelker]

But you should. You shouldn't be flirting and having a crack with anyone because you've got a boyfriend. And she's like, and you should be working right now. It's like, but you've got a boyfriend. So I'm not allowed to talk while I'm working. And she's like, but you're not working. You're talking. Alicia, there's honestly no need to get wound up about it. It's like, yes, there's 100% a reason to get wound up about it, because you're like, you are not working. And you're now suddenly like, like, like being super judgy about the text messages that she sent. And like, that's just none of your business.

[Ronnie Carom]

It's none of your business. And you're saying, don't get wound up about it, but you're the one wound up running around telling everybody and freaking out about it, you weirdo. So she's like, well, I'm pissed, cuz every time I see you, you're just gossiping. And he's like, well, it's disrespectful towards your boyfriend. Oh, shut up. Just shut up. So he's like, well, maybe you care about your boyfriend because you're in a relationship. Yeah. And you aren't. And you never will be, you little chicken. No nugget. And I don't mean that in, like the. The nice way. Jerk. So she's like, I'm at work, just pick up a Hoover.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Mike is like, I mean, we're having a little bit of a gossip, but she's trying to pin it, pin the point. As if, like, I'm not doing my work and trying to deflect that she's in the wrong. Like, she's not deflecting. She's. It just has nothing to do with you. And like, she's clearly embarrassed. And you're sitting here gossiping and you're trying to, like, put her on the spot to Answer for things that you don't have a right to ask in the first. And she doesn't want to do it. And you're also not working. And, like, there's all. Basically, you're wrong in every single different category. I wish I could have started the landing on my little speech there, and I couldn't do it. But the point is, you're wrong.

[Ronnie Carom]

She's deflecting that she's in the wrong. And you're deflecting because you have no stories to tell about yourself getting any, because you can't and you never will. So stay in your corner, Gollum. So Daisy comes up the stairs because Alicia is now yelling at him. And she's like, what's going on? We don't like yelling on this part, Annalise. Like, it's my face saying, you've got a boyfriend. Stop flirting. When I was like, I'm here to work, mate. You know, we're here to work. Why don't you work? I need to flirt to keep concentrated. And so now we go to Joao, and it's all awkward with the guys, and Joao's like, wow, that blew up. Next time, throw her on the sand. It'll be romantic. It's a gesture of peace.

[Ben Mandelker]

But also, Joel, you could have said something. You were right there the entire time. And it could have been like, mike, get back to work, because he is on the deck right now. And you just. I don't like, Joel was being a way too passive during this as someone who's a supervisor. So now Alicia is just, like, really upset, and he's like, okay, okay, go take a coffee. Go take a coffee. Wait a second. Have Ben make you the coffee, because I don't trust you to make your own coffee. She's like, it's very simple process. You just put paint thinner on top of a napkin and then you put it in your mouth. No, no, no. See, this is why you can't work in the kitchen anymore.

[Ronnie Carom]

Make your coffee then, but tell them not to do it slowly there.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then. Then Mike is vacuuming. He's like, if you need to relax, it's not that deep. So Daisy walks up and she says, mike, what the happened? He like, nothing happened. Or what did you do to Alicia? It's like, well, I was literally outside and she obviously stood behind us. Where you're gossiping, Mike. No. Yeah, you were gossiping. I know you're gossiping. Cuz when you gossip, your hair looks even more like a tulip.

[Ronnie Carom]

I love that she just calls him out. She's like, you were gossip and don't lie to me. He's like, okay, well, I was just having a laugh at the boys. Yeah, but she's not finding it funny then. Yeah, but she's got a boyfriend. That's none of your business, Mark, all right? If she wants to flirt with them, that's between them. Stay out of it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just love her yelling at these incompetent. So Mike is like. He's like, what do you want us to do? Vacuum, you idiot. You have a vacuum in your hand. Press the power button and move it forward and backwards, please.

[Ronnie Carom]

So then we go to Daisy and Jason, and he's like, how's mama bear going? She's like, oh, fucking working overtime over here. Bunch of dicks. Well, I'll leave that to you. I don't want to know anything going on in this boat, all right? Nothing ever, right? Unless it's a little tiny Eminem talking to me, I don't want to hear it. It's like, well, Mark is wrong for gossiping, and Elise says, what, should 100% stand up for herself, but she doesn't need to do it. A testable of 100. Like, what the. I mean, captain heard you, Alicia. Be smarter as well. The two of you are dumbasses.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Alicia. Daisy checked in on Alicia, and Lisa is like, I know I shouldn't have reacted like that, but he just winds me up. I know. I get it. So then we go to Mike and Jenna by the bar, and Mike's like, jenna, I've got something to tell you.

[Ronnie Carom]

You.

[Ben Mandelker]

This just told me I should stop gossiping. So guess what? I've got some gossip for you.

[Ronnie Carom]

This guy. So now we go back to Daisy and Alicia, and she's like, you can't react like that because it's not going to solve anything, and I don't want you to, you know, Jason or the other Crossy and stuff like that. Well, you know how he kissed Jenny yesterday? Like, then. Then Eddie's telling all the boys, and I don't like that either.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Mike, meanwhile, Eddie came up to us, and I said, already? What's happening? He says, Alicia was missing him, messaging him last night. I can't get you out of my head. And Jenna's like, no, no, hang on. No.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah. So meanwhile, Lisi is like, he doesn't have any integrity. She's like, no, he's a gossip. Come on. And then back to Mike. Jenna's like, eddie came up here and said Lisa messaged him last night. That what happened. Well, where did this editing come from? He's like, well, I didn't think it was a thing. Let me neither. I just feel so used because Eddie. If Eddie likes Alicia and I'm the pawn between them to make someone jealous and they're both poor. Everybody's poor. I'm actually kind of put off. I mean, why lay it on so thick? I mean, do the whole drama just for a kiss and then to chat with Alicia.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel so used. Anyway, let me go find some sort of rich man to take to improve my lifestyle.

[Ronnie Carom]

Also, she's totally just using Eddie to make. Make Ben notice her, you know? So I like that. It was like a mutual use gone wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like Cruel Intentions. A very bad version of Cruel Intentions. So Jenna's like, so then Daisy is still talking to Alicia. She's like, no screaming and shouting around the boat. Yeah, copy that. I said no screaming. Repeat after me. No screaming. No screaming. Say it louder. I can't hear you. No screaming. Louder. No screaming.

[Ronnie Carom]

No screaming. God damn it, Alicia, you're screaming. So then we go to Ben talking to the engineer, Fleur, and he's like, speaking of not getting laid ever, Fleur, what's going on with the fan? And he's like, oh, just waiting for motor spare part. Then we can install at some point. Has this ever happened before with the fan? Yes, it happens. Oh, really? So this has happened with the fan and nobody's done shit to the fan before? If it's fan, you know, fan sometime work sometime says no.

[Ben Mandelker]

But you know what we can use instead of fan? Potato. What are you talking about? I don't know. I thought you're the chef. Put the potato in there and see what happens.

[Ronnie Carom]

So Daisy sees Mike and she's like, are you working hard? And he's like, yes, she is. So they're all watching him, and he's, like, taking forever to clean the table. Like, he's the worst. So now it's head of department meeting. Meeting as a preference sheet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Time.

[Ronnie Carom]

All right, Charter three. Here we go. Mecca is a New York City founder of a lifestyle magazine. Pink spelled P, Y, N K. All right? It's not the singer, all right? This is a magazine online. It celebrates black women and curates elevated experiences for them. Let's go see Mecca at work, shall we? It's the new hello day.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cut to Daisy taking down all her ringing. God damn it. I thought it was the singer. All the ropes she's pulling down, all the bungee cords. So Mecca. Mecca's in Brooklyn. Mecca's the primary. And she has a co primary named Joy. And Mecca's like, oh, if I, if something is not up to my standards, you're definitely gonna know. But funny enough, I am. And as sassy as I can be, I feel like I'm the softer one from the rest of my charter guests. So then we see her, has visited over 40. What?

[Ronnie Carom]

We see her, they show a scene of her like decorating a party or something. And they're hanging fringe, like fringe tassel things in arches. And she's like, so this is going to be fringe tassels. And then we're going to have plants growing out of these. And they're like, no, it's just the fringe. Okay, well, so the fringe is going to be hanging down in people's faces. Like, yeah, I think that that's what they want. She's like, oh, well, it's not what I want want. And I'm Mecca, move the fringe back up. That's why I make the big bucks. What are these scenes?

[Ben Mandelker]

Standards.

[Ronnie Carom]

What are these scenes? What are these?

[Ben Mandelker]

On vacations regularly. We did Egypt together. We closed down the entire scene. We just. A new Cairo. So it was just for us. Everything. Luxury, over the top Burk and wearing Bentley, driving all the good food, all the drinks. I like to see the money, you know, when you're spending six figures on a vacation, you want to see six figures on your vacation occasion. Or in the case of this, when you spend $10,000 on a heavily discounted yacht ride. I want to see that $10,000.

[Ronnie Carom]

I'm a millionaire. A millionaire from fringe parties or whatever. So back to the president. Jason's like, she's excited. She's coming aboard with Karen, Michelle, Tamika and Erica. Mecca is looking forward to five star service with meals every two minutes

[Ben Mandelker]

and tablescapes. Don't forget the table. Skypes with fringe. Zemecka says nobody should ever be intimidated by my standards. I, if I, I think if they are, they should raise their own. Zemecka's like, I everything. Housewife.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah, I was gonna say everything she says sounds like a housewife tagline. If something's not up to my standards, you're definitely gonna know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mecca in this town, you'll be making a pilgrimage to me. Mecca.

[Ronnie Carom]

If you're intimidated by my standards, you should raise your own Mecca.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's funny because, like, Mecca was like, I have high standards, watch out, blah, blah, blah. And they try to make her seem like she'd be like, no nonsense and like, so mean. I actually thought she Was really nice. Oddly enough. She was like, you know, know, she was sort of direct, but I was like, me seems nice. Was I crazy? I liked her.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah. I mean, she was fine for below deck guests. You know what I mean?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Carom]

I think Mecca, I'm gonna come in there and I'm gonna rip everyone a new. And then she's like, this was lovely. Thank you.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think that like just after the trauma of the, like the, the painted ballroom dancer lady that like, who nearly died of a heat stroke, I'm like, everyone's like, oh, they're just an angel. Just seems great.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yeah, that's true. And also the Real Housewives were before them. So it's like, you know, she seems like an angel comparatively. I just always laugh at the below deck people. Especially now that we're getting their backstories like this because they're all like, well, I'm rich. And you know what? I like Birkins. I like Birkins hanging from the ceilings. I like diamonds coming out of the water faucets. And that's why I'm going on a discounted cruise. Like the group on cruise, you're getting half off the cruise. And they're like, I'm the richest person in the world and here's my coupon. Do not Forget to take 50 off. Thank you, Mecca.

[Ben Mandelker]

Seriously. I expect high quality food, Michelin level food. Which is why I'm basically going on a yacht for three days to get no food. Like it was on shop, stopped

[Ronnie Carom]

getting checks and grocery store bought muffins every morning.

[Ben Mandelker]

Seriously. So Alicia texts her boyfriend because he's like, hey, how was your day? And she's like, busy, busy, busy. Oh, by the way, we forgot to mention that Mecca wants to end with an opulent six course black tie dinner. So that's something to keep an eye out for. So everyone's done for the day. Mike walks by Ellie, they have some small talk and he's like, I'm boozing. That I got a little peck off Ellie. It's enough to know that she's into me as well. I'm like, no, it's just that you put force your lips onto her lips. And she.

[Ronnie Carom]

There was literally no hint that Ellie liked you. None. She. I'm. She recoiled. She literally recoiled from you, sir. And she says, I don't really intend to like go there with. What's his name? Him. Yeah, not him. Well, I feel like me and LA could probably get down and dirty. Yes. I've got my eyes on the prize and my prize Is Joao welding genetics? Yes. Meld.

[Ben Mandelker]

When she said that last week, that's haunted me. I have a primal urge to merge my genetics with Joel.

[Ronnie Carom]

Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was like, are you from outer space? So Daisy pokes her head out of her cabin, and she's like, wow, get over here. She's like, okay, I'm going to be there in one Zim second. No, get here right now in an Irish second. It's not gossip. It's Mike. He's causing serious drama. And I'm gonna sit down and have a proper talk with him and tell him it's like, actually pretty serious. He's like, I'll back you up, of course, with Mike, and if you need me to drop you in the sand, I will do that. Again, hallowed Zim tradition. Shut up about the sand. We got discipline, Mike.

[Ronnie Carom]

So now they go find Mike, and they have him. They sit him down, and Mike is like, oh, they've got a crush on me. I feel it coming. They want to bang me. Here it comes. And so Daisy says, is this scary for your mic? And he's like, no, not really. Jerrell's like, ha, ha. That might be the problem, mate. Now, listen, here's the thing. We enjoy your banter. We love it. You know that. You know it. You know, and there's no doubt about it. But the main reason we're here is to work. Work.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. I'm actually Will. I'm not very good at the work, I'm afraid. It's like, don't say that to your bosses. And she's like, you're not being fast enough. You're not being very efficient. And the girls, they're getting frustrated because they're having to micromanage. And then the gossip. Yes, it's all fun and games until it's not anymore. It's all fun and games until next thing you know, I'm lying there naked with my dick pressed into the Sunday bed. Not fun anymore. So you've got to understand, you know, you could at any stage, if anyone's not happy with you in particular, you will be fired.

[Ronnie Carom]

Well, I really don't want to lose this job. I've tried a variety of jobs in the past, from military to bartending. I tried a dating show. Tried only fans. I tried running events between Majorca and Ibiza with some friends, and none of them stuck. I know I do have a big personality, but I really do want to make this yachting career work.

[Ben Mandelker]

Haven't. Okay, let's maybe, like before you throw in the towel on like working. Let's look at your CV again. Your CV is, like, doing parties in Majorca and Ibiza, only fans bartending. A dating show. And then there was the military. So, like, maybe don't do the party jobs. Like maybe work at Starbucks or drive Uber or something.

[Ronnie Carom]

Like a class.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can we. He's like, I can't get a job to seek. I'm like, that's because you're doing jobs where you're probably out there getting wasted every single day. Day.

[Ronnie Carom]

And they're temporary, too. Like a dating show. Yeah, I tried a dating show. What did you. What did you think was going to come from that? Exactly. So now we go to Mike taking a nap, which is what you want to see right after you lecture somebody on working harder. And then Joao, Daisy, and Ellie are in the crew mess, and they decide to go have a glass of wine. So Ellie's like, oh, you want to have some wine? And Joao's like, oh, sure, I'll meet you down there. She's like, okay, get your gin. So he goes out and he walks by Alicia, and she's sleeping on the couch. And he's like, oh, you're just sleeping on the couch. Would you like to come ruin Ellie's dreams right now of growing my children inside of her? She's like, sure, that sounds fun. So now it's the three of them on a bench, and Ellie is pissed. She's like.

[Ben Mandelker]

She is not happy at all. And she's like, I'm going to go back inside. Inside Generics unpause. So she goes inside and. No, no, Ellie, don't leave. I'm all good. I will go inside now. Hot woman going inside. So Alicia's like, oh, I guess I crashed your date. He's like, there was no date here. Just a sweetie eye from Zim enjoying wine with two other girls. Zim with Zin, if you will.

[Ronnie Carom]

So Ellie is walking right when Alicia goes, well, she's quite sweet, isn't she? Ellie just walks back in, goes, I'm not down for three weeks. Damn it. So Joel's like, are you feeling okay? And she's like, I'm a bit emotionally drained. You know, good sleep would solve everything. And she puts her head on his shoulder. And meanwhile, Ellie and Jenna are in the crew mess, and they can see all of this on the video screen. Oh. So he's like, oh, let's have a glass of wine outside on the beach. And then he walks up with wine and another girl. I was like, what the. I got out of there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Alicia's a little Lucy go see for someone as a boyfriend, don't you think she's so funny, Jenna? I'm sorry if I got it.

[Ronnie Carom]

What were you saying then?

[Ben Mandelker]

No, it's okay. I only interrupt you about 45 times per second.

[Ronnie Carom]

So sorry. I keep doing it. Okay, Jenna, just how she said it was so funny. She's like, that girl's a little loosey goosey for a girl with a boyfriend.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, because we see Jenna already was giving stink eye to Ellie, so for sure she's gonna be giving it to Alicia. So Jenna's like, if a man asks me something and another comes just like, no, I agree. And he's like, thank you, Jenna, for felt hitting my feelings. So then on the bench, Alicia's doing the whole I can't queen and she snuggles up on Joao. So Ellie sees this and she's like seething. She's like, hold on, hold on, hold on. This is escalating. My genetics are in harm's way. There's an intruder for genetic merging. Get out of the way. They're going to get soon.

[Ronnie Carom]

Incorrect genetics incoming.

[Ben Mandelker]

Coming soon to fx, Ellie. Earth like a space.

[Ronnie Carom]

Uh huh. Let me turn this up.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like a spaceship just crashed into New Bangkok. And there's this. There's a whole bunch of little Ellies on there trying to merge genetics with hot men.

[Ronnie Carom]

Oh, they're kissing and they're not kissing. You're still in the game there. Don't worry there, darling. All right, listen here, licorice lips. It's all gonna be okay. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap. Recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

[Ronnie Carom]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly. Clap.

[Ronnie Carom]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offit. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her.

[Ben Mandelker]

Call.

[Ronnie Carom]

It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Ben Mandelker]

Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no Tricholas Hava Nagila Weber, you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less.

[Ronnie Carom]

Namey sipped some scotch with Jessica Trots.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.

[Ronnie Carom]

Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera Whatever will be Will Lauren Sills be she gets an A from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Aren't you glad? It's Marianne Ahrens.

[Ronnie Carom]

Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is Living with Michelle. Vivian.

[Ronnie Carom]

I love y'. All. Olivia Williamson.

[Ben Mandelker]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[Ronnie Carom]

Yes, we canna. It's Savannah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Ronnie Carom]

Darn skippy. It's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10cc of Betsy MD

[Ronnie Carom]

we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's get real with Caitlin o'.

[Ronnie Carom]

Neal. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo.

[Ronnie Carom]

She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's get Savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers. The incredible edible Matthew Sisters.

[Ronnie Carom]

She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Ronnie Carom]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing Strike a pose.

[Ronnie Carom]

It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Carom]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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