#3254 Below Deck Down Under S04E06 Part Two: Textual Desires

Summary

Watch What Crappens Episode #3254 Summary

Below Deck Down Under S04E06 Part Two: Textual Desires
Release Date: March 10, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

Ben and Ronnie recapped “Below Deck Down Under” Season 4, Episode 6 (Part Two), humorously dissecting the crew’s chaotic romantic entanglements, galley disasters, demanding guests, and the now-iconic “fish report.” The recap is filled with sharp-witted observations, Bravo-centric references, and their trademark comedic banter, spotlighting both the drama and the absurdities aboard the yacht.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Crew Relationship Drama

• Alicia, Joao, and Ellie’s Love Triangle

  • Romantic conversations, petty jealousy, and odd intimacy discussions take center stage.
    • Alicia & Joao: Ben & Ronnie riff on the odd couple energy—especially their "pooing and showering" talk, which both mascots find peak romance.
      • "Have you ever pooed while the other one's in the shower?" – Alicia ([01:47])
      • Joao is, understandably, not a fan: "No, never. Why would I do that? That's so romantic." ([01:57])
    • Ellie’s Jealousy: She stews over Joao talking to Alicia, plotting to air receipts that could "blow shit up" ([03:20]).
      • "I love receipts. Damn, she's gonna blow shit up." – Ellie (Ben/ Ronnie voice, [03:20])
    • Joao & Ben Dissect Drama: Ben assures Joao that Ellie, nicknamed “caramel twigs,” is still interested. There's confusion about who is into whom, and Joao’s reluctance to commit is joked about ([04:04]).
      • "You still got a shot, you're still in the game. But she thought you on a duck date, that you brought another woman." ([03:31])
      • Joao: "I can't commit myself to a woman after what happened to me. I'm sensitive now." ([04:29])

• Text Message Scandal: Alicia, Eddie, and Jenna

  • The cast reads scandalous, flirtatious texts aloud—all parties try (and fail) to downplay or define what counts as “just flirting.”
    • "I haven't been able to stop looking at you. Same to you. But you're with Jenna, and she's the safe bet. I would drop her in a second to be an alien with you." – Eddie, via Alicia reading the text ([05:07])
    • Ronnie: "To me, that's kind of just like. You're basically saying, open for business. The neon sign is now saying, vacancy." ([06:02])

2. The Legendary Fish Report

• Underwater B-Roll Becomes Comedy Canvas
  • In a beloved recurring bit, Ben & Ronnie personify sea life, giving social/Bravo personalities to everything from stingrays to crabs ([06:41]–[18:26]).
    • Stingray as a Grateful Dead fan:
      • "This is a pretty blasting ray. This is like... a stingray on the way to Grateful Dead. It's just like, I'm just gonna wear some tie dye." ([08:48])
    • Pufferfish as Lisa Rinna/drag queen:
      • "This is like the Lisa Rinna of fish. What is this fish doing? ...It's like Lisa Rinna pufferfish, but also like the chapel roan of pufferfish, too. It's like ready to sing at the abbey." ([12:10])
    • Crab becomes airline stewardess:
      • "This is an airline stewardess walking down the aisles and being like, trey's down, Trey's down, Trey's down, Trey's down." – Ben ([15:59])

3. Galley & Charter Guest Mayhem

• Broken Oven Blues

  • Chef Ben's (on the show, not host) oven breaks, and Ben & Ronnie lampoon his mounting stress and battles with basic meal prep for hungry, exacting guests ([22:43]).
  • The hosts question why food requests weren't prepared ahead:
    • "Why do you not have just like a platter that's ready, Just a grazing platter, not like spring rolls a la minute." ([31:06])
    • Ronnie: "It's a Caesar salad and pasta salad. Seriously, it's not hard. Come on, man." ([41:52])

• Guests’ Snack Drama & Hunger Bullying

  • The new charter guests immediately demand food, setting up a running joke about "hunger bullying" the crew ([24:36]).
    • "Oh my God. I'm being bullied. I'm being bullied. They're hungry." ([24:36])
  • Mecca (primary charter guest) reveals she likes to "see her money" in action, requesting customizations for dinner.
    • "I like to see my money. I like to see where my money goes." ([32:20])
  • Ben & Ronnie side with Mecca, finding her requests reasonable compared to the crew’s panic.

• Lunch & Beach Picnic Chaos

  • The struggle to coordinate an on-time meal, umbrella injuries, and tense setup for an overhyped lunch:
    • Umbrella finger pinching becomes a relationship joke:
      • "I can't get you out of my head." ([35:33])
  • Guests keep asking for snacks, the chef scrambles, and eventually, a basic but well-received lunch is served.

4. Notable Quotes & Comic Moments

• On Alicia/Joao “romance”

  • "These two. This is romance." – Ben ([02:35])

• On Fish Report's Pufferfish

  • "This fish is crazy. I've never seen human lips on a fish before. But this fish is like, own it, own it, baby." – Ronnie ([12:32])

• On Hunger Bullying

  • "You can't bully me with lunch!" – Ben, mimicking chef ([28:14])

• On Ben freaking out over simple food

  • "It's a Caesar salad and pasta salad. Seriously, it's not hard. Come on, man." – Ronnie ([41:52])

• On Guest Demands

  • "Mecca is like, we just want your best to come to the table. Are we overwhelming you? Is apple pie really the best you could do?" ([44:21])

• Meta-commentary on show tropes

  • "They're setting her up to be a huge B. But yes, it's not delivering that so far, so we'll see." – Ronnie ([45:56])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:47] – Alicia/Joao bathroom boundaries chat
• [03:20] – Ellie stewing and threatening “receipts”
• [05:07] – Alicia reads “textual desires” from Eddie
• [06:41] – [18:26] – Full “Fish Report” segment and comedic ocean B-roll riffing
• [22:43] – Ben & Ronnie dissect Chef Ben’s galley stress and broken oven
• [24:36] – First guest “hunger bullying” exchange
• [31:06] – The ongoing “just serve snacks!” debate
• [35:33] – Beach picnic and umbrella finger incident
• [41:52] – Hosts roast the struggle over basic lunch
• [44:21] – The apple pie “best you can do?” menu summit
• [45:56] – Hosts debrief on Mecca’s portrayed “demanding” nature

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Memorable Moments

• The Extended Fish Report:
  • Hosts personify fish and marine life, assigning them Bravo identities and personalities, with standout moments for the pufferfish (“Lisa Rinna of fish”) and a crab as an airline stewardess.
• Reading the Textual Scandal Aloud:
  • A mix of cringe and humor as Alicia’s messages from Eddie blur the lines between flirting and declarations of intent.
• “Lunch Bullying” as a Running Gag:
  • The ongoing guest demands are dubbed hunger bullying, with Ben/chef buckling under pressure.
• Meta-Critique:
  • Ronnie and Ben break the fourth wall, mocking the show’s manipulation and defending “difficult” guests who actually aren’t being unreasonable.

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Tone & Style

Ben and Ronnie mix affectionate snark, sarcasm, and a love for Bravo reality TV tropes, peppered with over-the-top character voices, quick improv, and running gags. Their rapport is playful, self-aware, and fan-tuned, offering both critique and celebration of Bravo’s “crap.”

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a master class in comedic reality TV recapping: you’ll get all the storylines (faux-mances, text scandals, culinary disasters), the latest Bravo guest archetypes, and a dose of undersea comedy, all filtered through Ben & Ronnie’s rapid-fire, tongue-in-cheek perspective. The segment most likely to make you laugh is the “Fish Report”; the crew drama and food chaos provide all of the heart and cringe that make Below Deck a Bravo mainstay.

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Notable Quotes for Sharing

• "To me, that's kind of just like. You're basically saying, open for business. The neon sign is now saying, vacancy." – Dom, on Alicia’s texts ([06:02])
• "This is like the Lisa Rinna of fish. What is this fish doing? ...It's like Lisa Rinna pufferfish, but also like the chapel roan of pufferfish, too." – Dom ([12:10])
• "You can't bully me with lunch!" – Ben, as Chef ([28:14])
• "It's a Caesar salad and pasta salad. Seriously, it's not hard. Come on, man." – Renee ([41:52])

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For more, or to join the Crappens community, visit Watch What Crappens on Patreon.

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Transcript

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[Renee]

Watch what Crap.

[Dom]

Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much crap?

[Renee]

Watch what crap. Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Happens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So then outside, Joao and Alicia are having, like real couple talks. Alicia goes default often and he's like, never in front of a lady ever.

[Dom]

Do you ever get your ears checked? So then in the crew mass, Ellie is like, I don't know about this. I don't know. Where's my phone?

[Ad Host 2]

Let me.

[Dom]

I'm sending rage text to Alicia right now. Stay away from my generic jackpot. So on the bench, Alicia's like, have you ever posed while the other one's in the shower?

[Renee]

Have you ever pooed? Have you ever pooed? She says, have you ever pooed while the other one's in the shower? And he's like, no, never. Why would I do that? That's so romantic.

[Dom]

Makes much more sense.

[Renee]

I really found a romantic man out here. I'm going to find out who our boyfriend is. I'm sending this to our boyfriend tonight. Get her Social Security number. She's dead. She's dead.

[Dom]

Pooing and bathing used to be my thing. Joao's like, so you were in the bath while you were pooing? Wasn't that last season? Are you sure?

[Renee]

And we don't get an edister, which I love. And it's just so funny because they're sitting there like this couple on a bench. Her head's on his shoulder and she's just like, what do you think about pooing and bathing? He's like, I'd like to understand that better. These two. This is romance.

[Dom]

Ellie is watching. Yeah, And Ellie's watching thing. There's like a torrid romance happening while she's like, what do you think about Pooh? What shape is your favorite when it comes out? And I was like, how dare they be flirting right in front of me on the camera? This is disrespectful.

[Renee]

She will pay.

[Dom]

Don't fuck with me.

[Renee]

I'm a very kind person. Don't fuck with me.

[Dom]

Is she going to get to his genetics first? Questionable.

[Renee]

So they go back inside thinking nothing's wrong. And Ellie, meanwhile, is stewing in her room and she's like, oh, I love receipts. I love receipts. Damn, she's gonna blow shit up.

[Dom]

Yeah. So now Joao and Ben are in their room and Joao's like, well, I think that Ellie, or shall I say Elena, got a little bit freaked out that I was talking to Alicia. And Ben's like, well, I'll tell you all about it. She's like, oh, yeah, oh yeah, I know everything. She was a little offended. She thought it was like a little date. And I had to say, listen here, caramel twigs, everything's fine. You still got a shot, you're still in the game. But she thought you on a duck date, that you brought another woman.

[Renee]

Well, I just invited Alicia because she was literally lying on the couch doing fuck hole. I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. This is hectic. I mean, when did we say this was a date? Oh, well, he is devilishly handsome. But wait, I thought you were into Elena. Aren't you into her? Me? What? No, no, no, not at all. I was just jerking off to her on Instagram. Innocently. It's not marriage or anything.

[Dom]

I can't commit myself to a woman after what happened to me. I'm sensitive now. So Jenna, Alicia and Batul are in the crew mess. And Jenna, Jenna's saying she likes Patool's hair. And Alicia, they're basically. At least. Jenna's like, at least I can ask you a question. At least. It's like, oh, what? So you and Eddie. There is no me and Eddie. But what about the text messages? At least he's like, okay, fine, fine, fine. He did text me last night. What do you say? What do you say? Give it to me, Let me know. All right. And then after that, we squish it. Can we squish it after this?

[Renee]

All right, I want to talk about. If you share with the text, we'll talk about again after that. All right, then we'll squash it. All right? No talking about it to other people either. All right, then it's squashed or it makes me embarrassed to read it back. I actually want to throw up. So she reads the texts, and she's like, I haven't included what's going on in my head, but you need to get out of it. Believe me when I say I haven't been able to stop looking at you. Same to you. But you're with Jenna, and she's the safe bet. I would drop her in a second to be an alien with you. Oh, my God.

[Dom]

What the.

[Renee]

Yeah, it turns out I'm a massive flirt. That was.

[Dom]

What do you call it? To me, it felt like it was more than flirting. To me, that was full on, like, statement of purpose. I feel like with flirting, you're sort of. It's like, ooh, is there interest? Is there not? I'm sort of alluding to some interest, but, like, I can't stop thinking about you. I want to be with you.

[Renee]

To me, get out of my head.

[Dom]

Yeah, I guess that's flirting, but to me, that's kind of just like. You're basically saying, open for business. The neon sign is now saying, vacancy.

[Renee]

I want to merge genetics with you. So Jenna's just looking at her like, okay, she's. Yeah. You know, I definitely did shut it down, though. No, you didn't. Not in that text. I mean, maybe today, but even today, you didn't really. What are you talking about?

[Dom]

You. First of all, you also initiated it. And she keeps on telling people, like, oh, he texted me. I'm like, in response to you, and you did not shut anything down.

[Renee]

But, yeah. Well, guys, I'm sorry to interrupt this, but it's time for a fish report. Fish report. Oh, my God. It's a fish report. Okay, here we go. Gorgeous neighborhood. First of all, this is a gorgeous neighborhood in the sea. This large leaf thing is welcoming all of its guests into the new community. Everyone look at. They're not even. This school of fish isn't even all going the same way. They're just going about their business, enjoying their own independent lives.

[Dom]

Yeah. What we see here are a bunch of the yellow fish, which are, like, really the one of the mainstays of the season. We see a lot of these sort of generic but, like, pretty yellow fish, and, you know, they just like. This is like a. It's. It's New Year's for them, and they. They all have the day off, so they're like, oh, my God. We're going to take a field trip to see the leaf. You guys want to come see the leaf? That's really. I want to take a photo by the leaf. I'm gonna put on the gram.

[Renee]

This is the Leaf Country Club in Dallas, Texas. Everybody's blonde and just like, oh, my God.

[Dom]

Yeah.

[Renee]

See that bitch?

[Dom]

This is like. This is like their Washington Monument. They're like, oh, my God. Did you guys go to leaf?

[Renee]

Yeah. Okay, Then we come to a fossil that needs to go get some Botox. This is crazy.

[Dom]

This is some coral. But it's like a. It's like a mazy coral. It's a coral that has, like, a maze on its face.

[Renee]

This.

[Dom]

This coral is like, what. What crawled out of Demi more late in the movie of the substance.

[Renee]

It's like David Bowie has a glass ball in his hand on this coral.

[Dom]

He's like, oh, I don't get you. Toby's in that coral somewhere.

[Renee]

So stingray, you know, this is. Oh, there were little fish. Where. Oh, there are little.

[Dom]

Some little fish. There's one fish that's like, doing a flyby. You see it? It's like, whoa, look at me.

[Renee]

I think that's a fuzz. Is that a fish?

[Dom]

Is it a fuzz? The F is like, I am only here to serve as scale for the viewer.

[Renee]

Like, I was stingray, this stingray, you know? Now, we've seen some handsome stingrays on here with beautiful patterns. This is a pretty blasting ray. This is like. This is like a stingray on the way to Grateful Dead. It's just like. I'm just gonna wear some tie dye.

[Dom]

Call it an effort.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Dom]

It's very long ponytail.

[Renee]

It's not even using both of its fins. It's only using one fin.

[Dom]

It's like waving.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Dom]

Waving to its friend. Jesse. Hey, Jesse, you gonna go see Grateful Dead?

[Renee]

Me going to Grateful Dead again? Again?

[Dom]

I'm in row five. Where are you? Where are you? Yeah, okay. I'll see you in there. I'll see you in there. Yeah. Great seeing you.

[Renee]

Maybe they'll wave back this time. Am I right? Come. Armpit hairs. Cut my armpit hairs. You like that? Not shaven. Okay. But trim. Trimmed.

[Dom]

Yeah. This is a stunningly unremarkable stingray.

[Renee]

Yeah. Okay, so this turtle just loving his life.

[Dom]

The turtle.

[Renee]

It's.

[Dom]

This does. The turtle is just, like, coasting through. Like, it's. Look, it's back. Like, it's. It's front fins are doing all the work, but its back fins are like, you know, Yeah.

[Renee]

I think this turtle just won something or, like, got a day off. Because normally we see the turtle swimming like this with their fins like this, but this one has its fins all the way up. It's like, yes, yes.

[Dom]

This turtle just remembers it has a free Starbucks because it's its birthday. It's like, oh, my God. But then realize that all it wants to get is a simple black cold brew, which is basically the cheapest option anyway. It's like, damn it. Should I get a macchiato just to take full advantage of the value? I don't know. I'm gonna do it. I'm doing it. I'm having a sugary drink today.

[Renee]

Someone's getting a Frappuccino. Yeah. Okay, then we go to Mike. Now, Mike is not a fish, but I would like to point out that his tattoos are worse than we ever could have imagined.

[Dom]

Look at this tattoo.

[Renee]

It's a lip with a. It's a sexy lip on a face that is. Yeah. So basically, it's actually chewing on a crucifix. Yeah.

[Dom]

It's upside down. It's like a lady's face. And like, a. Like a crucifix is dangling from her mouth, which. Sure. I'm sure that's what everyone wants to see when they make out with him. Although I will say him. Mike wearing a hat is. Is really helpful because it contains that hair. He looks literally 60 times better with a hat without one.

[Renee]

Best he's ever lit.

[Dom]

Okay, now, the reason why my. The reason why he's here is because the next fish, they did this crossfade into the fish, and I felt like it. It. Like, I didn't want to just have us go to the fish. I want to get the full experience of seeing Mike and then watching it crossfade into this absolutely stunning puffer fish. Look at this puffer fish. She's.

[Renee]

Look at this cross. This is crazy. Oh, my gosh.

[Dom]

Look at that.

[Renee]

That is so good. That's a good call on your part. Good eye.

[Dom]

And they were. That's by the way they line that up. So that way, Mike's face basically turns into a puffer fish. It's like, look at this. Except the thing is, the puffer fish is actually attract. Like, this is the puffer fish.

[Renee]

Holy human face on this fish. This fish is crazy. This is like the Lisa Rinna of fish. What is this fish doing?

[Dom]

It's like Lisa Rinna. Lisa Rinna pufferfish, but, like, also like the chapel roan of pufferfish, too. It's like Ready to sing at the abbey this is a. Lips.

[Renee]

This is crazy. I've never seen human lips on a fish before. But this fish is like, own it, own it, baby. Also, this fish is, like, with me because, look, it turns its head and just keeps side eyeing the camera like, you want a piece of me? Come on. Want to be. Look at the.

[Dom]

Look, eyeball. Look at its big, bulging eyeball.

[Renee]

His big, bulging, clear eyeball. It's like a motorcycle helmet. You can see through it. It's crazy.

[Dom]

Yeah. But I also love. I love how this fish is just moving so slowly, so dramatically. It is kind of like a drag queen fish. It's doing so much because on one hand, it sort of also looks like it's Maxine in the office, and she's just like, so how are the kids this weekend? Did you get to see them? You know, but at the same time, also a drag queen at the same time, also Lisa Rinna. At the same time, also just Mike's face.

[Renee]

Is it wearing culottes? Yeah, it's got 100 looks like it has culottes.

[Dom]

Those lips.

[Renee]

This is a terrifying fish. I love it. Okay, good job.

[Dom]

Well, also, you know what I love is that, like, theoretically, what we haven't really acknowledged is, like, theoretically, his fish just got done crying. It's like, did my mascara run? Please tell me my mascara didn't run. It's like, no, you look great. You look great. Maxine. I don't know.

[Renee]

It goes back onto the floor. Everyone's like, oh, my God. It was Maxine crying.

[Dom]

She sure was. Listen, it was very difficult. I just learned that someone at the synagogue, they lost their mother. And I'm just feeling very sad about it right now.

[Renee]

Okay, then we go to this eel. We never see this whole eel. We just see it kind of bent. Bent around something just weird.

[Dom]

The eel's just waking up. It's like stretching, doing it. A morning stretch. It's like. It's like, oh, God. I didn't realize I was on camera.

[Renee]

I was trying to trick tourist fish. It's like, look, I'm this. I'm the arch in San Francisco and St. Louis. Come, come under me. Come under me.

[Dom]

This eel has no idea. This eel is being very dramatic, doing that big arch. Why is it doing. Because the thing is this. It's not like it's going around something. It's literally bulging its arch up. It's like it's doing calisthenics, essentially. It's like, well, ladies, if you want to keep your figure, you got to do your. You got to do your eel giggles.

[Renee]

Or it's reaching all the way behind itself to scratch its own. But. Okay, now we have a little. What is that, a shrimp?

[Dom]

It's a shrimp, but it's kind of like, this is a shrimp that, like. Well, they're in the water. They're. They're not. You can't get it. You can't get wet if you're in the water. But whatever the version of getting wet is if you're. If fish, like, that's what happened. The shrimp. Because the shrimp is, like, holding its hands out like, oh, my God, my shirt's wet. Oh, my God. I need to get a towel. Does someone have a towel for me?

[Renee]

This shrimp is like. I'm doing a crab impersonation. I'm doing a crab impersonation.

[Dom]

Actually, it is a crab.

[Renee]

It is a crab.

[Dom]

It's a crab. We're so stupid.

[Renee]

Yeah, I figured that was a crab, but I said shrimp because I'm done. Okay, now we go to a turtle. This turtle's like, just stop following me. It's like, there's so many things in the ocean. This is the laziest B roll to just keep following me around. Leave me Al. Okay,

[Dom]

can we go back to the crab for a second?

[Renee]

Sure.

[Dom]

Now that we know it's a crab and not a shrimp, it sort of has a different cadence to me. Now, this. Now, to me, this crab is a tour guide. It's like, all right, people, we'll just keep on walking this way. Okay, this way. And we're going to show you a piece of kelp over here. I'm just going to need everyone to just walk with me. Just walk with me. Thank you so much.

[Renee]

I think this is an airline stewardess walking down the aisles and being like, trey's down, Trey's down, Trey's down, Trey's down.

[Dom]

We will be landing soon, so I'm gonna. Could you just move your seat up? Thank you so much.

[Renee]

Sir, did you hear me? I said trace down.

[Dom]

Okay. Okay.

[Renee]

Set it with a smile. I'm okay. You can't get fired.

[Dom]

Okay, you people, here. You are my exit row people. Will you do verbally ascent to helping in the case of an emergency? Okay, I need a verbal yes or no for. From you. I'll start with the gentleman here. Sir, I'm going to need you to take out your AirPods. Thank you very much.

[Renee]

By the way. I always lie in that. I'm like, yes, of course I'll help. You know, I'm not Going to help. That thing's going to crash. I'm going to run to the back of the plane or I'm going to jump out first and be like, give me the hell out of here. Okay, turtle. Okay. No one cares about you, turtle.

[Dom]

Oh, look at this conch. I feel like this conch is not supposed to be here. I feel like it fell from somewhere and I was like, can someone help me? I can't really swim.

[Renee]

Yeah, it's like I was supposed to be in Lord of the Flies and I just got thrown down here and now my career is over. Thanks a lot.

[Dom]

Could someone mow my lawn? I would do it myself, but I am basically just stuck in a shell. So just need a little bit of help down here. Anyone?

[Renee]

Zebrafish. Zebrafish. More zebrafish. They're like, oh, my God, do I look fat? No, you look thin because you're. You're swimming straight, so the stripes are vertical. Okay, I'm going to swim up. Oh, my God, you're so fat. Oh, my God, you're so fat. Okay, you're swimming straight again. God, you look thin. I can barely see you.

[Dom]

By the way, those are the. Those fish are actually called because Dom looked this up and it's appropriate to Bravo, which, you know, we love spotting trends on Bravo. These fish are called magpie perches. So these are magpie perches. So magpies. Once again on Bravo.

[Renee]

They also look like they're going to prison, which is like very Bravo themed as well.

[Dom]

So I feel like they're all just trying to be on trend, but they don't realize that stripes are already over in the ocean. Guys, you're wearing your stripes. Yeah, stripes are so cool. And there's just a stingray just leaving.

[Renee]

Yeah, the stingrays had it with us. He's like, fuck your fish reports. I'm sick of it. Fucking had it.

[Dom]

Unless I'm getting royalties, I do not want to be included in the fish report anymore.

[Renee]

Fish report, fish report, Fish report,

[Dom]

Fish report. Or fish rapport.

[Renee]

Can I get some fish rapport? Even the fish will not bait me.

[Dom]

Stop gossiping, you fish. Do your work.

[Renee]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Dom]

Rani, there are some moments when I crave a little treat. Do you ever have those moments?

[Renee]

Of course. All the time. And it's really hard to keep those healthy. But we found cachava. Oh, my God. Cachava shakes are so good. They've got so many delicious flavors. They're so easy to make. I'VE been making one with the strawberry powder and it's called Strawberry Cheesecake Smoothie. It combines strawberry cachoba, frozen strawberries, cottage cheese, milk and cinnamon and it is delicious. These things give you so much energy. You support all day energy with five key vitamins and minerals. It helps with digestion and strength. There's so much protein in it. 25 grams of protein per serving.

[Dom]

And also I'm always very concerned about my immunity. So what's great is that these shakes have vitamin C and they've got zinc and they've got probiotics. That way I can stay healthy longer.

[Renee]

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[Dom]

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[Renee]

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[Renee]

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[Renee]

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[Renee]

So now Betty, Ben, and Joao are lying in the same bunk bed on the bottom bunk talking. And Ben's like, like, let's talk about. There's Eddie's mustache. What is that? It's not shaped even. It's like he went to a party shop and got a mustache. What does that mean?

[Dom]

It's true. It's a very, very good observation. Alicia says she's horny, so she's going to use her vibrator. Wow. I wonder what horned her up. And now it's 7:00am the next 7:01am actually, just one minute later, guys. And it's five hours until charter, and Eddie and Mike are talking their cabin. And Mike is like, you hear that with, like, Jenna and Lisia? Because, like, me and Jenna went upstairs and she was, like, a bit upset with the messages that you were sending to Nicia.

[Renee]

Oh, God.

[Dom]

He just got out of control. Stop it, bro. Eddie is doing this whole, like, oops. He's like, oh. Oh, man. If she read that, that would not have gone down well. But I don't know what I was on about. Oh, I actually had a really good time with her. Be nice to probably hang out with her. I need to chat with her. Oh, no.

[Renee]

Now I really don't have a chance with Alicia. So now I have to pretend like I really am into Jenna again. Oh, God. So now we go to Jason and the bridge. He gets a text about the oven part and it's out. So he's like, well, then I need a new oven ASAP then. And they're like, we will have one three days, which is nine days in America. He's like, damn it. That doesn't even make sense.

[Dom]

It doesn't make sense, but somehow I'm beholden to it. Say, oh, man, I've got tons of ovens at home. Well, I'll see you in three days. So they laugh, and he and Ellie laugh, and then Alicia and Mike walk by each other and they're like, yeah, everything's fine, sure, whatever. They just bury it, you know? And Ben is saying, like, all right, all right, magenta poofs. We'd love to start you on some food, but I don't want a shit show lunch. Okay? So what we're gonna do is have a really big show lunch instead, because at this point, I'm basing my menu around a broken oven, and I'm gonna have to Use every bloody induction burner, every machine, every last penny of the $50,000 I spent on that wedding that I never had.

[Renee]

So Daisy's like, I want the toilet paper folded. I want people wiping their ass with sharp roses. Bleed and make them gorgeous, like, okay, geez. So then, Jay, that's time for everybody to get here. Oh, my gosh. Let's line up to greet the guests. Welcome, ladies. Daisy will show you around. We've got the engines going. We're gonna get underway. So they get the tour, and the first thing they say, they're like, when is lunch? We're really hungry. And dun, dun, dun. It's the beginning. It's the beginning of hunger, bullying

[Dom]

also.

[Renee]

Oh, my God. I'm being bullied. I'm being bullied. They're hungry.

[Dom]

How could it be that. That people who just took, like, five flights to get to Kanan would get on a boat and say that they're actually hungry? I can't believe it. I feel like in past seasons, they always have, like, a little charcuterie platter set up so that people can graze when they get on the boat. Where was that?

[Renee]

Yeah, I think this time he had spring rolls, right? He had, like, a little canape to pass around. That is not enough. They need Chex mix. They also need the charcuterie, and they need the spring rolls. And, you know, it's like, when you get anything, it's not free because you're paying for it, right? But when you get there, you feel like it's free. Like, when you get to a nice hotel, you're like, oh, my gosh, look at all these soaps I could take. There's, like, three different kinds of soaps. You're, like, putting them in your bag just because they're free. Like, oh, my God. It's a shower cap. There's a shower cap. We're lucky. And you put that in your bag. It's like, you know, I think that's how you feel when you go on vacation. You just want things that are around you that you can grab onto and say, it's mine. It's mine.

[Dom]

Just imagining you're doing this at a kill store and then security stopping you. Sir, we're need you to put those soaps back on the display.

[Renee]

Not a store.

[Dom]

Not a store. No, I know, but I'm imagining you just, like, just getting triggered. Like, not like it's like you're pavilionian response. Small soaps.

[Renee]

Tiny.

[Dom]

Yes.

[Renee]

That's my favorite. Like, the Target or whatever. Like, the tiny things Area where they're like, oh, you can get a little toothpaste. It'll last you two times. I'm like, oh, God, I'm on all of the brands. I could try all of the toothpaste. All of it.

[Dom]

You can. You can have a consumer Reports moment. So they. They're leaving the. They're leaving the dock.

[Renee]

There are.

[Dom]

They've already left the dock. And they go to release the tenders, but the tenders are tangled. Ooh, a metaphor, perhaps. So Joao's like, captain, captain, can we idle? Can we zim idle? There's a crossover between the two towing lines, and we're all gonna go to hell and be destroyed because you can never cross the lines. And Jason's like, sorry, can't do that right now. It's either I stop the boat or I pick up the m M on the floor. And we all know who's gonna win this battle.

[Renee]

My favorite is Joao's reading of these lines because he's, like, so into it. He's like, ah, the two lord toe lines are tw. And the tenders are knocking into each other. And if they knock into each other sideways, they could submerge, and we could lose one or both of the tinders, and we don't have enough slack to do unlined. We're all gonna die. Wow, he's really getting into these death monologues.

[Dom]

I know.

[Renee]

We're into it now. He's like, I'm a captain now. I'm gonna give 110% into the we almost died monologue of the episode.

[Dom]

Yeah. And meanwhile, you just see these two genders being like, bonk, bonk. We're all going to explode and end up in the Davy Jones locker. So Mike is like, me and me. Engineering instincts kick in, and I realize I can attach this line to the other cleat, and it'll release just enough tension so we can untangle the lines. And I've got a few brains underneath August here. I'm like, sure, you put a rope on a different thing. Congratulations. So then.

[Renee]

Oh, my God.

[Dom]

Oh, yeah, everything's fine. We forgot to mention everything's fine.

[Renee]

Everything's fine.

[Dom]

Everything's fine. Everything's fine, Ben. So I pushed for our two o' clock lunch, but they're really hungry. Well, why don't you give them the spring rolls? Well, I'll go get them the spring rolls. But she came up to me and said, what about lunch and what about what time? And I. All I said was 2 o' clock lunch work. And she Said that's too late. So we're really hungry. You got to get to lunch. Ben us.

[Renee]

You're already letting them bully you, huh? Like, out of the door. Out the door. We're gonna have to make you look a little more intimidating. I. All right, so they're still gonna do the picnic, right? I'm not worried about the time. You can't bully me with lunch. And she's like, all right, we're still doing a beach picnic. All right, well, I'll shoot for 115. Let's just. Just tell him that. Tell them 115. All right, I'll take up the spring rolls. So he. So he did not have spring rolls ready. That was my bad. I thought he was ready for, you know, that, but it wasn't. So he gets those ready and sends those out. And Ellie's like, oh, we've got this. We're going to crush this. This is what I do. I get give positive things to chef. We're going to crush it, chef. It is another day. One foot in front of the other. Baby steps. Baby steps.

[Dom]

Meanwhile, Alicia is serving drinks, and Mecca's like, I'm so sorry. I forgot your name already. Alicia. Oh. She's like, hi, I'm Mecca. I'm going to try not to get on your nerves. But I'm so going to get on your nerves. She's like, no, honestly, I don't mind. It's either I talk to you or talk to the man with the strange hair downstairs. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Renee]

I'm so ready to be on service. With all the trauma that's happened with Jana, Eddie, and Mike, I just want to. I want to do the job I was hired to do. So then Joao is like, okay, go ahead.

[Dom]

The job you were hired to do, you actually already failed at. But that's okay. You're doing a new job, and hopefully that will be good too.

[Renee]

The second job I was hired to do. All right, Joao. Joao. We're going to Celine Bay. I love her. Renee, Renee.

[Dom]

Joel, focus. We're going to Celine Bay, and then we're going to drop the anchor. Oh, we shall drop the anchor. If you ask me to, Joao, I'm going to need you to stop doing that. We just need to get into this bay.

[Renee]

Okay? Please, Celine Bay.

[Dom]

I will try my best, Captain, to drop this anchor, but I don't know where the rest of my team is. All by myself. Don't want to be all zim myself anymore.

[Renee]

Wow, these spring rolls are so good. Can we have another order? Tasty's like, oh, shit. So Jenna and Alicia are working but not talking to each other. So then the anchor drops and the guests are ask more snacks. And it's just so below deck how they do it. They're like, can we get some other snacks? And the music's like, Let's bring up some chips. What is so hard about this?

[Dom]

Yeah, that's why I'm like, why do you not have just like a platter that's ready, Just a grazing platter, not like spring rolls a la minute. So. But they don't have it. So Ben's like, canape is designed to whet the appetite and take a little heat off the kitchen. You can't ask for more canopies because they're going to delay the launch. That kind of beats the purpose of the darlings. I was like, have you ever seen me at a formal function? Because I stand right at that door where the caterers come out, and I'm like, we'll have another one of those, please. I am a canape monster. An amused bouche. You have one and you don't get to have another. Canapes are for the people, and you get as many of them as you possibly can get.

[Renee]

Yes. Amen. Well, it's not my fault they didn't eat breakfast. Order more of them. And then we want lunch immediately. I mean, how many chefs have you got? 20. I mean, that's what I thought. That's what I thought. Just make the food, Ben. Jeez. So Daisy takes up more and they ask about roles and she's like, well, lunch is coming. Lunch is coming. So Mecca's like, daisy can make anything happen. So we're just gonna ask and you're just gonna deliver. She goes, oh, let me see if I can grab you something then.

[Dom]

So now Ben is getting all flummox. He's like, cuz now they need to give something else. He's like, well, it's going to be another 8 to 10 minute delay. So then. And. And then we see Mecca telling her friends, this is her thing. She goes, I like to see my money. I like to see where my money goes. So that's. That's like her thing. It's like, it's like she doesn't. Doesn't want crappy service. So then now it's time. At long last, they get lunch, which is smoked salmon and capers and marscapone and cheese, and they're all very, very happy. And Daisy and Joao are discussing, like, this beach picnic that they're going to be doing. And Eddie's going to be going to shore, and Daisy wants to send Jenna as well and Mike, because Mike is really good with guests, despite the fact that he's a really bad worker.

[Renee]

Yeah. So, yeah, I'm putting them to work. I've never seen someone who's so at stewardess in. But good with the guys just sent him over. Send him over. Bad hair and everything. People are very charmed with a bad hair on this show. So Ben and Ellie are in the galley, and he's like, do me a favor, would you, sweet tac toes? Could you grate some cheese for me? Grate some cheese. I've got this. I love cheese. I love grating it. I'm so positive.

[Dom]

I love grating genetics. So then Daisy basically tells Mike and Jenna they're going to the beach, and she's like, I want you. Hey, Daisy. I mean, Jenna, I want you to keep an eye on how. Oh, no, Mike. Keep an eye on how Jenna serves. Compliment them. Earn your cape. So they're all going to go over there. It's time to head over to the beach, etc.

[Renee]

The guest. I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. Oh, my God, I'm so hungry. And the captain radios everyone. The guests are dying of hunger. They are dying of Mecca is shrinking down into a little, tiny pinky size. Please get them some dead or they are dying.

[Dom]

Knock, knock. Who's there? It's your tapeworm, and I need to be fed every 20 minutes. I'm the eighth charter guest. It's insane. No, they just want lunch. They just flew in and they're starving. It's a reasonable request.

[Renee]

And so now beach party, beach setup. So Jason comes to check on Ben, and he's like, oh, I'm doing great. They just asked for guacamole before lunch. Sounds great. Well, I asked him if they're ready to go to the beach, and they said, we're waiting for lunch. And I said, you just say. Well, I didn't say it, but I wanted to. Well, there's loads of sand, dairy. Why don't they just eat the sand? That's a good one. They have snacks. What is the problem?

[Dom]

That's all you need. It's like, yes, we're gonna get fucked today. I'm quickly starting to realize that working with chefs is kind of like raising a pit bull. They will absorb the energy of the person they are with. You got to make sure they're staying calm, because if they're not, they will bite somebody's head off.

[Renee]

So.

[Dom]

So she's gonna be the. Ellie is gonna be the calm presence for Ben. We'll see how that works out. Yeah.

[Renee]

So now we go to the beach picnic, and the guest, basically, they're setting up. Addie gets his finger pinched in an umbrella. And then Daisy.

[Dom]

Umbrella. I can't get you out of my head.

[Renee]

The umbrella's like, are you sure you like me? I think you like the other umbrella. He's like, I ditched that other umbrella in a second to get my finger. You.

[Dom]

Once again, that umbrella has a boyfriend. So Daisy and Patul are talking, and it's like, when you're gonna go on break? She's like, I don't even like to break. I want to work. I need to work. I need to work. I need to work. And Jason's like, well, you have to take a break at some point. You have to do it. She's like, no, I have to work it. If I don't work, I'm not doing my job. I need to do my work. I need to work. I'm that close to losing my shit. I need to work. I need to work. So basically, her whole thing is like. She's like. Wants to prove that she's capable because she had this family that destroyed her, basically. And basically, women in her family didn't work. And remember from previous episode, everyone thought she was the. She was the dumb one in the family. So she's really trying to prove herself. And so she's, like, desperate to work really hard.

[Renee]

Yeah, they're go take a break, God damn it. So then she has a moment where it's like the inside betul comes out, and she's like, huh. I feel like if I don't. If I take a break, then that means I'm not doing well. And then the other betool comes from behind her, and it's like, girl, you're doing your best. At least you're not. At least you're trying. Please focus.

[Dom]

It's weird.

[Renee]

Seconds of parole.

[Dom]

So then it was like a double betool. Yeah, two betools.

[Renee]

So now it's 1:29, 14 minutes past lunch. Alicia checks on the guests, and she's like, can I get you anything? And they're like, we're ready to go. Is the tender here? Can we eat the tender? Can you send us an edible tender? Because I'm very rich, and I would like to see that made commercials.

[Dom]

Here comes one right now.

[Renee]

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[Dom]

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[Renee]

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[Dom]

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[Renee]

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[Dom]

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[Renee]

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[Dom]

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[Renee]

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[Renee]

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[Dom]

Scary.

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[Dom]

So then Eddie, they're over on the beach. Eddie and Jenna are waiting for the guests to come. So Eddie's like, so do you want to chat about the other night? She's like, I do, but I don't really have so much to say. Well, I don't really know what you just said, but I'll just keep on talking. I actually had a really nice time with you and when we were in the hot tub, Alicia was getting all kinds of touchy feely and just wasn't nice on my part to text her considering that we had kissed that night and fuck, I was so drunk by the time I actually went to Bed. I don't remember the next. Until the next morning. So it's no. It's no excuse, but will you please accept it as an excuse? Thank you.

[Renee]

Look, this kind of felt like shit, to be honest. I don't want to be a pawn, like, between making someone jealous, but I'm not that person. But I kind of cut ties really fast, you know, it's just like I'm some kind of a pawn to make her jealous. I don't like that. You know, it's bad enough dating someone that probably uses a pawn shop, but to actually be a pun, I don't like it. And then we hear the radio. It's like, oh, lunch. Lunch is the starving to death. So he apologizes and hugs her, and she's like, okay. But she tells us, I was not born yesterday. And then I definitely tried to have a boyfriend, so I don't know how since I apologize.

[Dom]

And he's like, oh, you idiot. Why have you done this to yourself? You can't fan this fire. You've just got to let this fire burn out. And of course, the fire I'm talking about is trying to flirt with a girl who don't understand a word that's coming out of her mouth. So then the guests, they get to the tender. They. They, like, they're heading to the beach. They get to the beach, and Mike is like, it's my time to shine. So he's. He welcomes them all, and they're like, hi, Mike. Whatever. And Mecca saying, I'm a Jane of all trades. So they, like. They are the lunches.

[Renee]

Get some shots. He gets some shots. And he's like, by the way, ladies, you look absolutely cards. And Mecca's like, oh, thanks. You're like the charmer on the yacht. And he goes, oh, really? No, they're not. Oh, my God. She's saying that because you just said something that was charming. Like, okay, they're not hitting on you, Mike. This guy.

[Dom]

So the food is basically. It finally arrives 27 minutes past lunch, and so they serve it, and then they're like, wow, this Caesar salad is busting. And then Jason, I just want to

[Renee]

point out that this man is crying about lunch, and he can't get it out, and it's taking so long, and blah, blah, blah. It's so difficult. It's a Caesar salad and pasta salad.

[Dom]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Seriously, it's not hard. Come on, man.

[Dom]

So Jason is asking, what, what, what? What the menu is for tonight. He's like, you better not be slow tonight. Bravo. They have More expectations than what we're delivering. And if you go up there and have a chat about tonight's dinner, they have their expectations. Right? So the guests finish their lunch. They're very happy. Now they come back to the boat. Daisy and Lisa greet them. Everything's going nicely. Mike is telling Jenna that they. They liked, you know, they liked it. And Jenna's saying she can't get a read on Mecca because it seems like she's enjoying everything, but her face says otherwise. So then ultimately, Ben and Mecca sit down with joy also, and they are going to talk about what the plan is for dinner.

[Renee]

Okay, why are you doing this two hours before dinner? This doesn't make any sense for a six course dinner. Now you're going to sit down and why is Jason telling him? Go ask them what they want for dinner. No, dinner is planned. It's a six course dinner. They gave their preference sheet. You make the menu, you serve the dinner. Why is he telling him? Go have a meeting two hours before dinner with Mecca and ask her what she wants. That's not how it works. It's a boat. You only have so many things on the boat.

[Dom]

No oven either.

[Renee]

Yes.

[Dom]

So Ben's like, all right, you like ceviche, right? She's like, yes. And we love the shrimp spring rolls. Well, how about we do it with lobster? Done. She's Then he's like, all right, lobster spring roll, braised short rib, perhaps? She's like, well, I think the group will be divided. So I love a short rib, but like, is there a seafood alternative? Do you have snapper? He's like, we do have snapper. She's like, okay, well, let's have a snapper. And then. And then for dessert, like, what's something that you know we're not gonna say we don't like? Which I was like, that's a lot of double negatives. How about say, what's something you know that we're going to like for sure, but either way he's like, oh, something I know that you're not going to like? No, no. Something that you know that we're not gonna say we're not gonna like?

[Renee]

Something I don't know that you know you're gonna like, but you don't really like it. No, no. Something we don't know that we don't like? I don't know what the you. How about apple pie? Can I just serve you apple pie? And she's like, is that your best? And he's like, I don't know. But yeah, is it your best. Well, I happen to know that you're a special guest. Is it your best? Because we want your best to come to the table.

[Dom]

All right. Well, Ben, may I remind you before you commit to apple pie that your oven doesn't work.

[Renee]

What? Are you going to saute an apple p. Why?

[Dom]

I guess you could make it in a Dutch oven. I mean, Dutch ovens are called Dutch ovens for a reason because you could put them like over something.

[Renee]

But Ben's like, you're not going to cook it by farting under a sheet, Ben.

[Dom]

That's true. So Mecca is like, we just want your best to come to the table. Are we overwhelming you? Is apple pie really the best you could do? He's like, well, no, I wouldn't be happy if you were. And so he's like, this is chart shot is a solid nine on the tricky scale. They don't even want apple pie Last Chadder. I was just dropping the ball one one very which way? And I've spoken to every photo to guess. Did it make it any better? No. Am I worried about it? Yes. Do I think they'll get through it? Probably not.

[Renee]

We just hear someone go, dinner better be really good. And that is the end of Bullet Deckdown. Eon Dior.

[Dom]

And, you know, I think this is where, like, they're trying to make it be like, look at her. She's being demanding. I'm like, I think she's just asking. She's actually being very reasonable. She was totally working with him. She's like, love that idea. Love the short rib. Great idea. Could you make something for the people who don't eat meat? And he's like, oh, my God, this is so demanding. I'm like, she's literally making just basic requests. And she's like, can you make me a really amazing dessert? And you're like, what about apple pie? And she's like, we're on a got. Can we do better? He's like, I don't know. She's not difficult.

[Renee]

Yeah, they're setting her up. They're setting her up to be a huge b. But yes, it's not delivering that so far, so we'll see. It is funny. Just watching Ben freak out and then serving a Caesar salad and pasta salad. Like, what is going on over here? Come on.

[Dom]

That is so funny. Well, everyone, fun times. Thanks for being here. We will catch you on the next episode of Watch or crap it's and have a lovely three seconds before the next episode drops. Bye, everyone. Watch what crap ins Would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Alison King.

[Renee]

Our way is the Amber way It's

[Dom]

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[Renee]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier, Erin McNicholas she don't

[Dom]

miss no Tricolus Hava Nagila Webber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no last namey.

[Renee]

Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch just

[Dom]

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[Renee]

Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a B in your bonnet with Lacy B. Que Serra sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets an A from us It's Lindsay D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Leno. Fresh as a daisy.

[Dom]

It's Maisie McHenry Aren't you glad It's Marianne Ahrens.

[Renee]

Megan Bird, you can't have a burger

[Dom]

without the Burg this is Living with

[Renee]

Michelle Vivian I love Aya Olivia Williamson.

[Dom]

She sure is swell.

[Renee]

It's Raquel, yes, we can. It's Savannah.

[Dom]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Renee]

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our Super Premium sponsors she's VVIP

[Dom]

It's Amanda V. Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD

[Renee]

we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Dom]

Let's get real with Caitlin o' Neal.

[Renee]

Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without

[Dom]

the Emily sides who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo, she's a total knockout.

[Renee]

It's Katie Manock.

[Dom]

Let's get Savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that It's Marlas Rogers the incredible

[Renee]

edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes It's Melissa Stone Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's our princess It's Rebecca Prince Maximum love for

[Dom]

Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's

[Renee]

Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out

[Dom]

of a cannon Anthony please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with Tamla plane Strike a pose It's

[Renee]

Tori Rose she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys.

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