#3256 Vanderpump Rules S12E14: Pain at the Pump

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary

Episode #3256: Vanderpump Rules S12E14 – “Pain at the Pump”
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: March 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Watch What Crappens recaps and roasts the second part of the Vanderpump Rules Season 12 Reunion, dissecting Bravo’s messiest reality cast with trademark irreverence and affection. Ben and Ronnie gleefully lampoon the cast’s drama, from fights about penis pumps to teary addiction monologues, social media scandals, and the ever-chaotic OnlyFans debates. Through hilarious impressions and sharp commentary, the hosts both mock and praise the reunion’s highs, lows, and most cringe-worthy moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Opening Banter & Upcoming Events

• [01:19] Ben and Ronnie tease their upcoming appearance at the iHeart Podcast Awards in Austin, Texas, sharing outfit ideas and excitement.
• Ronnie plugs his upcoming dinner cruise event with Bravo stars Hannah Ferrier and Sheena Shay ([03:40]), plus Crappens bonus content for patreon subscribers.
• Quick mentions of South by Southwest, weather chat, and Alanis Morissette’s private show ([02:49]).

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2. Vanderpump Rules Reunion: Chaos from the Top

Social Media Hate & Death Threat One-Upping

• Audrey starts off the reunion angry, having received death threats after recent episodes ([06:44]).
  • Andy: “Wait a minute, who are the death threats from? … Do you have any quotes? I want to take this to the office.” ([08:24])
• Angelica interrupts to say she, too, has gotten death threats, sparking another round of arguing.
• Ben: “If you’re threatening to kill some waitress because she was mean on TV, just stop… Watch the news.” ([07:00])

The Great Penis Pump Debacle

• The group spirals into a lengthy discussion about a cast member’s penis pump ([09:12–13:18]).
  • Recap of how Angelica told Lisa Vanderpump about Jason’s penis pump, and Lisa’s feigned confusion:
    • Ronnie as Lisa: “Penis pump. Why would you need a penis pump? … But you still haven’t explained to me what the Fleshlight is. What is that?” ([11:00])
  • Andy, as always, latches onto the salacious content, stretching the bit ad infinitum:
    • “You can always guarantee … any storyline happening … but of course we spend 10 minutes while Andy can be like, well, let’s talk more about the penis pump, okay?” ([16:19])
  • Shifts into a debate over “judginess” and hypocrisy, with Audrey and Angelica trading accusations.
  • Jason finally gets an apology from Audrey for embarrassment caused ([21:04–21:44]).

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3. Shane’s Sobriety & Lisa's “Broken Bird” Syndrome

• Shane Davis, the season’s wild card, opens up about his troubled upbringing and recovery from addiction ([25:25–28:36]).
  • Lisa instantly jumps to full “Save The Sad Boy” mode:
    • Ronnie as Lisa, mockingly: “You shall cry, Shane Davis. I command it. … If you were my son, I’d be very proud of you.” ([27:00])
  • Shane resists breaking down, but Lisa physically comforts him, prompting jokes about being adopted by the Vanderpump-Todds ([29:11]).
• Viewers’ reactions and the role of reality TV in public vulnerability discussed ([31:51]).

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4. Relationship Drama, Jealousy & the Kissing Carousel

Special Hugs, Kissing, and Jealousies

• Demi is asked about a “special hug” that triggered relationship drama; it turns out to be just a normal hug, but jealousy ran rampant ([34:20–35:28]).
• Jealousy about an innocuous music video kiss between Audrey and Shane unpacks further dynamics between cast members, especially Angelica ([34:47]).
• Andy diverts into a “who’s the best kisser” segment, with Natalie’s “strawberry tongue” notably called out ([36:29]).
  • “He liked her natural woman scent.” ([37:01])

Threesome & Ethical Non-Monogamy Recaps

• The group discusses threesomes, revealing who has and hasn’t participated ([37:01–38:25]).
• Shane explains his approach to “ethical non-monogamy” and how he’s only been with six women the previous year, which he considers a slow year ([38:33–39:15]).
• Jokes about avoidance of commitment and vulnerability follow ([44:02–45:35]):
  • “He can’t commit. Oh, God. Poor Shane can’t commit.” ([44:50])
• Natalie and Shane dissect their own will-they-won’t-they dynamic, culminating in a non-resolution and back-scratching anecdotes ([44:53–45:35]).

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5. Angelica’s Relationship with “LAX Guy” & Toxic Couples

• Angelica is grilled on juggling Shane and “LAX guy”: admits both were seeing other people ([42:28–43:05]).
• Kim explains the toxic patterns in her own relationship, contrasting it with Angelica’s ([52:23]).
• Demi, Kim, and Marcus all weigh in on the toxicity versus fun of their respective partners ([50:47–53:01]).
  • Lisa, exasperated, jokes: “All right, get him into casting immediately.” ([52:52])
• Angelica’s and Shane’s “baby pact” gets a mock-serious breakdown, with the hosts riffing on “genetically fortunate” reasoning ([54:06–55:53]).

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6. Social Media Drama, Roasts, & Apologies

• Audrey is confronted about going “below the belt” with her on-stage roast of Angelica and others ([56:08–58:06]).
• Lengthy debate about the ethics of roasting, with cast reflecting on whether the jokes crossed the line.
  • Notable: “You don’t talk about your relationship and then go after her looks. That was, like, a low blow.” – Kim ([57:46])
• Angelica apologizes for calling Audrey “Sid the Sloth” (from Ice Age), though says she was hurt ([59:41]).
• Audrey tries to issue a stand-up comedian’s non-apology: “I apologize that it affected you the way that it did.” ([60:49])

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7. OnlyFans, Incest Jokes & Weirdest Requests

• The OnlyFans drama is revisited, mainly whether a video between Jason and a ‘cousin’ was sexual or incestuous ([66:50–71:47]).
  • Andy: “On a scale of nothing to White Lotus, what was it?” – Chris: “I’m just massaging Jason’s freaking shoulders while the masseuse is massaging me …. like, coming on each other’s chest. But, like, I don’t know. It’s, like, pretty simple stuff.” ([72:21])
  • Lisa asks if it would make Shane cry; if so, she’d watch ([71:47]).
• Distinctions between OnlyFans and professional porn are drawn ([74:38–75:12]).
• Jason recounts the weirdest request: to pretend to be a peanut being swallowed—for $1500 ([75:44]):
  • “Pretend you’re a peanut and being swallowed. … I was, like, greatly on the couch. ‘I’m being swallowed! Ow!’” ([75:44–76:00])
• Group riffs on peanut/penis confusion and the absurdity of niche fetishes ([77:05]).

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8. Cast Reflections, Closing Thoughts & Lisa’s Final Toast

• Venus expresses gratitude for being able to have functional friendships with straight men ([78:08]).
• Angelica aspires to a stronger, more female-centric group, given how “trifling” the men can be ([78:08]).
• Final toast: Lisa delivers a tongue-in-cheek monologue: “Being on a reality show is like looking in a very large mirror. And I have to say, godamn it, I’m gorgeous.” ([79:36])
• Group celebrates the season’s end, with hopes for renewal and generous shade all around ([80:05–80:21]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ronnie as Lisa: “Cry into my veins.” ([05:51])
• Ronnie on Lisa's "Broken Bird": “You shall cry, Shane Davis. I command it.” ([27:00])
• Ben (on penis pump segment): “You can always guarantee … there could be any storyline happening … but of course we spend 10 minutes while Andy can be like, well, let’s talk more about the penis pump, okay?” ([16:19])
• Ben (on Shane's commitment issues): “He’s also like a hot young model who just wants to fuck people. … He just wants to stick his dick in anything that moves right now.” ([47:22])
• Ronnie (on Lisa’s interest): “All right, get him into casting immediately.” ([52:52])
• Jason: “Someone wanted me to pretend that I was a peanut and I was being swallowed. And I did that for, like, $1,500.” ([75:44])
• Lisa: “Being on a reality show is like looking in a very large mirror. And I have to say, godamn it, I’m gorgeous.” ([79:36])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [06:44] – Audrey & Angelica trading death threat stories
• [09:12–16:19] – Extended penis pump discussion
• [25:25–28:36] – Shane’s addiction story & Lisa’s “Broken Bird” syndrome
• [34:20–37:01] – Kissing carousel, special hug, and jealousy
• [38:33–44:53] – Threesome talk and Natalie/Shane’s will-they-won’t-they
• [52:23–54:06] – Kim and Angelica compare toxic relationships
• [56:08–60:49] – Social media roast/apology debate
• [66:50–75:44] – OnlyFans, “incest” video, and bizarre fan requests
• [78:08] – Venus and Angelica's closing reflections
• [79:36] – Lisa’s “I’m gorgeous” monologue

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Final Thoughts

Ben and Ronnie deliver a relentlessly funny, biting yet affectionate breakdown of a reunion episode that was heavy on manufactured scandal and light on real resolution. Their impressions, especially of Lisa Vanderpump, and their grasp on Bravo’s universe make even the most ridiculous segments (penis pumps, peanut porn, OnlyFans cousin confusion) entirely entertaining. They highlight the show’s ability to lure drama out of the absurd and the performative nature of reunion “growth.”

If you missed the episode: This recap covers all the beefs, quotable moments, mock apologies, and Bravo-verse swoops-in needed—minus the ads and fluff.

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Transcript

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[Chris]

Who cares what happens when there's so much? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what happens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi, Ben.

[Chris]

Hi, Ron. How are you?

[Ronnie]

Good, because in just a couple days, Ben will be coming here to Austin, Texas, Full south by Southwest, where we will be attending the I heart Podcast Awards. We're nominated for best TV and film podcast. I'm so excited to go. Should I wear a kilt?

[Chris]

Yes, I think you should. I got a cool blue jacket that I'm going to wear. It's like a. It's like a blue thing with swirls on it just to get a little spicy. So, you know, we'll see.

[Ronnie]

Well, maybe I'll wear a kilt because I got one, so I don't know. I'm gonna test it. I'm gonna test it out.

[Chris]

I'm so excited. I loved it last time we went. I loved it. We did like a red carpet and we met various celebrities and that's really what I'm in it for. And also, we. We did win, which was great, too. I shouldn't overlook that part. That was a real thrill. But it just was cool to go to a fancy event. It's always exciting when we get to, like, emerg caves and, you know, dress up nicely. So watch out.

[Ronnie]

Watch out for the world. We're on our way. One day while you're going to be here, it's going to be 90 degrees, but then the next day it's going to be 55 degrees. So that's what you're stepping into. So come prepared.

[Chris]

Well, I'm already in New York, so I've got my 55 degree weather stuff. Although it's warm here. But, like, don't you worry, Ronnie. I am ready for the Texas weather and all the strangeness that that's gonna be part of it. And yeah, yeah, it's gonna be, like, really fun. And we're also something I'm really excited about that has nothing to do with crappins, but just something that I'm excited about in general is that we got invited to go to an intimate performance for Alanis Morissette. And I just cannot wait. I am so excited.

[Ronnie]

Intimate. It's very intimate.

[Chris]

Well, like, that's probably like just us

[Ronnie]

Alanis, you know, it will be just

[Chris]

us and Alice, we're podcasting with her. We'll be like, alanis, will you come on to watch what crap ins. And she'd be like, I want you to know that I don't watch Vanderpump and I think you should get away from me now.

[Ronnie]

Well, another thing that's coming up I'm excited about is I will be hosting a cruise. Yeah. Hannah Ferrier and Sheena Shay. Spill the tea. It's c. Also with Zach Wickham. So I'm hosting these weirdos over in San Diego. It's like a dinner cruise thing. It's a three hour dinner cruise thing. It's going to be so much fun. So I hope you guys can come. It's going to be. Where is it? I'm on the website right now. Let me just make sure I'm not telling you the wrong thing. I believe it's. It's April 19th. It's through something called City Experiences. So go to city experiences.com and look for City Cruises live. Hannah and friends with Sheena.

[Chris]

That's great.

[Ronnie]

And friends with Sheena. So go check that out. That should be a really fun time. I'm excited to do it. Also, if you want our videos or if you want our recaps on video, that's at watch crap and I mean, it's a patreon.com as well as our free newsletter that goes out every week. That's basically just a funny recap of everything that happened on Bravo the previously the previous week. And that's where you can get our Discord server. It's where you get our bonus episodes. This week is a Top Chef cast breakdown of the new cast where we discovered some crazy parallels in who's winning and who's losing already. So go check that out. And today is the final episode of the maiden season of Vanderpump Rules Second Shift.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah. The maiden season. Yeah. And this reunion cracked me up because it was like Lisa Vanderpump was essentially doing our impersonation of Lisa Vanderpump. She was. She was on such broken bird lookout. I mean, it was like she was. Poor lady. She. All she wanted to do was make Shane weep. And he was like tearing up and choking up. But you know, she's like, I can do it. I can make him weep. Let's get him weeping SOB on stage. Come on, Shane. What do I have to do? Do I have to stand in front of you? Do I have to put my hands on your shoulders? Do I have to say, I'm your mother now. You're my son. You're the new Max, and Max is the new whoever he is now. But please put your head on my bosom. And so come to me.

[Ronnie]

Cry into my veins. Yeah. It was a very Lisa episode. And also not understanding what anything is. They're like, penis pump. What is that, TikTok? What

[Chris]

are we talking about? Nanny K's old grandfather clock? Tick tock.

[Ronnie]

I have one question. What is a slap bracelet?

[Chris]

What are these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? And do they have an interest in being waiters?

[Ronnie]

What is a Goonie? She's confused about teenager things from the 90s. So here we go. Vanderpump rules. Season 12 episode 14 reunion part 2. Tonight it is the shocking finale Alley of Vanderbilt. It's not shocking.

[Chris]

Nothing shocking happens. Literally nothing shocking. Not even remote.

[Ronnie]

So we start with Audrey, who's very like, I'm Marilyn Monroe now. And I'm like super mad because it's my first reunion, like, being mad about everything. So mad she's ridiculous. And Andy's like, can I ask you a question, Audrey? Why are you so mad today? What is it? She's like, because after the past two episodes have come out, I've been brutalized on social media. I've gotten death threats. Oh, God. First of all, if you're threatening to kill some waitress because she was mean to it, just stop. Like, watch the news, okay? There's a lot going on right now in the world without you all threatening to kill waitresses.

[Chris]

I mean, you shouldn't be doing death threats to anyone just ever. Like, if you're thinking about doing a death threat, like, honestly, like, just engage in some self care, please. Just focus your energies into something more productive or like something to Heal yourself. Because, like, death threats, that's just. First of all, it's just also so cliche, so boring of you, but also not right at all. But like you said, also like, you know, they're gonna do death threats. The Vanderbump rules, kids. Come on. So. But I like that Audrey's like, yeah, I've been getting death threats ever since the past two episodes have come out. It's been brutal. And Angelica's like, you're not the only one, like, one upping on death threats.

[Ronnie]

People are threatening to kill me too. She's like, do not shut the up, I'm talking. She's like, do not talk to me like that. I can't, because you started it. No, you started it by being an on tv, which is why people are responding to you, you know, on the Internet. Okay, it's you. Cause. And in fact, you were an. Audrey, just say I was an. I'm sorry. That's how you get people to be nicer to you. Not by yelling at the person that you were mean to in the first place. You dumb, dumb. So Andy's like, wait a minute, who are the death threats from? Because, wow, wow, I'm glad, you know, Felt like no one's watching this show, but people are watching this show enough to give you death threats. Where are. Do you have any quotes? I want to take this to the office.

[Chris]

It was Mary Faith. Mary Faith is like, die. You left your comb in the bathtub, die.

[Ronnie]

So Andy's like, audrey says the death threats are from people coming from her. Okay. Because she posted things first. And she's like, I never asked anybody to send you a death threat. She's well, I never said you did. Okay. But you know what? I post a funny response in return and I get people attacked attacking me for it. And I think online bullying is actually disgusting.

[Chris]

You know, Audrey really does have a future as a stand up because she's already sort of doing the you can't joke about anything anymore kind of bit, which is like all comedians do these days. So Angelica's like, yeah, online bullying is disgusting. And Audrey is like, yeah, so then why do it? And she's like, I didn't do it. And he's like, okay, Angelica, at TomTom, you told Lisa all about your issues with Jason, including the fact that he had a penis bump. That's right. We're moving on from death threats to the penis bump. Were you trying to embarrass?

[Ronnie]

And he's like, online bullying, whatever. Okay, I'll show you some online Bullying. Okay, that penis pump. Skip to the penis pump. Can you show me how to use it, Anyone? Examples? Jason. Jason.

[Chris]

So we have a little flashback to the penis pump stuff. And Angelica's like, no, that was not my intention at all to embarrass him. When I talked to Lisa, I just wanted him to be like, I don't know, feel really bad that he had a penis bump and then the boss should know.

[Ronnie]

That's it.

[Chris]

So he's like, well, what was the then? And Jason's like, yeah, to inform her on how to use a penis pump. Is that why you're telling Lisa? Like, yeah, whatever.

[Ronnie]

Lisa, have you ever heard of a penis bump before? She's like, no, not really. Even though TomTom is an old dildo shop, which we all saw me shopping in, and I've saw plenty of penis pumps. It's like Lisa acting like she's never been exposed to anything when Tom Tom is the old Chichi LaRue sex store.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And it's like there are ghosts of penis pumps in TomTom just floating around. You know, you go in there and you just hear. So she's.

[Chris]

Yeah, she's never heard of penis pumps. I've heard of over the old waiters at Pump. Because there were men with penises at Pump. Get it?

[Ronnie]

What did you think it was? And Jason's like, come on, you've never heard of the penis pump before? And then we see unseen footage of Lisa going, penis pump. Why would you need a penis pump? It's for aesthetics. Oh, so you need it for aesthetics. But you still haven't explained to me what the Fleshlight is. What is that? It looks like a torch. A torch? Why would you want to torch your penis? I can understand why you'd want to torch Ken's penis once a year. Every year on his birthday, that thing flares up. Torch it. Kill it with fire.

[Chris]

I say, why would you stick your winky in a torch? So Lisa's like, I still don't quite understand. Do they use it for their photographs or do they. Is it when they're about to turn on the Victroller, they need to get the penis pump going. How does it even work?

[Ronnie]

We don't use it to get it up. It's just like when we're taking pictures, you know, like using our underwear, stuff like that. Mal is like, oh, my God, this is crazy. Like, they're, like, explaining to Lisa Vanderpump how to use a. How to use a penis pump.

[Chris]

Yeah, because, like, it just, like, gives you a little bigger. For longer periods, we just, like, take better pictures. Yeah, it just like gets the little extra blood in there. That's what I'm saying. But when you're taking pictures or you're taking penis pump breaks as well, are you using the penis pump while you're on shift? And Jason's like, what? Sorry. I was like, oh, my God. I'm like, so glad I don't have a dick. I'm glad the only thing that's attached to me is my new single passengers.

[Ronnie]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Chris]

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[Ronnie]

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[Chris]

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[Ronnie]

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[Chris]

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[Ronnie]

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[Chris]

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[Ronnie]

No one will listen to me. So you ask him, okay. She wants to know if you take breaks to pump your dick. And he's like, no, I just do it right before. So you do it once? Well, in the shower for like five minutes and then I'm good all day.

[Chris]

Yeah, because when you're a male stripper and you're going out and dancing on people, you're not going to go out with a complete shrimp dick. You know what I mean? What.

[Ronnie]

What is a shrimp dick? Do shrimps have dicks, too?

[Chris]

I've heard of shrimp cocktails, but not shrimp cocks.

[Ronnie]

Isn't that what a cock ring is for? Well, yeah, you can use that too. Audrey's like, yeah, there's like different things I know now. Yeah, well, if you want to go, you know, od, then you palm and then you ring. That's how you do it.

[Chris]

Of course, this is like the thing that Andy dwells on for the entire reunion. This is like, you can always guarantee, like, there could be any storyline happening, any amount of controversy. Like, you know, there was that there was actually a fight on top of a hotel earlier in the season. We don't even touch it in this episode. But of course, we spend 10 minutes while Andy can be like, well, let's talk more about the penis bump. Okay?

[Ronnie]

So would I understand this better if you were sitting on my face while you were explaining it?

[Chris]

Has Cerise's son ever used a penis pump? Would you like to show him? How do you need me to observe just to make sure you do it right.

[Ronnie]

Angelica, you've actually done commercials for erectile dysfunction medication. She's like, yeah, I support erectile dysfunction. You do? What an odd.

[Chris]

Thank you for taking that stance.

[Ronnie]

You guys, stop bullying erectile dysfunction, okay? I stand for erectile dysfunction. Sometimes a penis is just exhausted. Give it a break.

[Chris]

In 2026, we can't be silent about the important issues. I support erectile dysfunction. So Chris is like, well, then why are you talking? Then she's like, because it was a

[Ronnie]

funny thing to say.

[Chris]

And Andy's like, well, why are you so judgy about a penis pump? I wasn't judgy about a penis bump. Like, you were not judgy. Yes, you were. And Audrey's like, you were judgy. You're really judgy. Which Audrey? It's so hilarious that Audrey, the standup comedian who later on refuses to acknowledge that she was shitty and hit below the belt, is suddenly, like, super serious about the penis. How could you be judgy about the penis pump? That's one line we don't cross in stand up comedy.

[Ronnie]

Jason's like, you were very hypocritical about the penis pump. Yeah. You got angry at Angelica for telling people about the penis pump, but you were the one who told her about it in the first place. Oh, no, that's. Andy said that.

[Chris]

That's sort of sou. Same as him. He, like, gets real, real bitchy about it. He's like, yeah, correct. I did tell her in the first place because you know what? I told her in private. I told her girl to girl, or rather stand up comedian to girl. Kim's like, but you know what? You told her on a reality show with cameras in your face and on a microphone. Hi, I'm Kim. I'm on this reunion too. If anyone wants to ask me a question.

[Ronnie]

Like, you can't say that's the same thing. And Natalie says, yeah, but like, in the context of a photo, everyone say penis, pumpkin pump. And Audrey's like, yeah, you can't say in the context of that because she didn't take that photo. So it's like totally different. And Kim's like, yeah, but I'm not saying that. I'm saying, you can't be mad that she said it. Oh, my God, this penis pump fight, it's like too much, too long. Fast forward.

[Chris]

And Jason was like, I was never offended by Audrey saying it. And I'll just like, can I explain something? Okay, Audrey explained this. Please, America Needs to hear this right now. Okay, Okay. I came to her, and actually that day at TomTom, I sat her down and respectfully and maturely said, hey, I really did not appreciate that. And we see unseen footage of Audrey being like, hey, it was like a funny girl talk thing that I told you in private. H, I don't care. Like, I really don't care. Jesus is the last of my concerns right now. Yeah, Then why are you talking about his penis pump in front of everyone if he's the last of your concerns?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's funny. Like, I need a distraction because I'm fucking stressed. That was my favorite, but I needed it. I was triggered.

[Chris]

I'm so stressed. I needed to distract myself by talking shit about a penis pump. She was like, well, you should apologize to both of them. Honestly. Honestly, Chris called me a bitch so he can fuck off back to present. I'm like, oh, wow. Wow. What is it? You know what, Ronnie? I take it back. This is a shocking reunion.

[Ronnie]

This is shocking. It is shocking. What's shocking to me is that Audrey is so, like, pissed off and standing up for the guys over their stupid penis pump, but was fine with the guy, like, flinging her down and hurting her. The other guy calling her A and all that stuff in public. Like, she keeps calling. She keeps saying that Angelica is so male centered and needs male validation. But Audrey, your track record is looking a little wonky with that.

[Chris]

It's weird because Audrey started the season. I thought she was, like, the chill girl, the fun girl, the cool girl. Like, she was, like, down for things, whatever. And she has sort of over the course of the season, and now this reunion has sort of become more combative and, like, not chill whatsoever. So then Chris is like, you know, at first I really didn't care because I was like, okay. But then I was like, damn. She really said that to Lisa? Wow. It's kind of weird. Like, whatever. And then you were saying it over and over and over again and screaming it. Like, the bartenders looking over, like, what? And then just, like, random people that we don't know. Like, everyone was looking, like, Mayor Karen Bass, like, showed up and was like, did someone say something about a penis pump? I was mortified.

[Ronnie]

Okay. For that I want to say, like, I'm sorry. Like, I really am sorry that you need a penis bump. And he's like, well, it's the first time I've heard that, to be honest. Okay, well, I'm sorry to embarrass you, because when I watched it back. Okay. Like, I okay, well, I wasn't embarrassed for me. I was embarrassed for you. Oh, eyebrow burn. Eyebrow burn.

[Chris]

Okay, well, I'm sorry for embarrassing the situation. It's like. Yeah, I'm just being very real. You were very childish. Yeah, well, I think watching it all back, I'm, like, in a different place now, and I saw that that was inappropriate. She's in a.

[Ronnie]

So do you feel she has big

[Chris]

boobs and now she can understand perspective?

[Ronnie]

Do you understand why you feel. Do you. Do you feel like maybe you owe Audrey an apology now? She goes, okay, well, absolutely. There's so many things I need to say I'm sorry to Audrey for, and this is one of them. So I threw our friendship under the bus, and I feel like I could have been better in that situation. Thank you. I appreciate that. That's, like, all I wanted in that moment. That's, like, all I wanted. And it would have been done. That's, like, all I wanted. So thank you.

[Chris]

Wow. You must feel relieved. Yeah, relieved, because I feel like, you know, she does have a heart. All right. Shane Davis, a model slash actor and recovering addict, was everyone's favorite wild card this season, by the way. I love that. Model, slash actor and recovering addict. Putting recovering addict in there as if that's also his occupation.

[Ronnie]

Like he is on his IMDb.

[Chris]

He's a model, actor, and recovering addict. He's everyone's favorite wild card this season. And while he doesn't technically work at Surrey, he might spend more time there than the people who actually are on Lisa's paywall. Marcus, you've known Jane for a decade now. How did you two meet? Did it involve mutual blowjobs? He's like, well, Andy, we were initially signed to the same modeling agency, and we share a mutual best friend. And. Yeah, and we lived together during the pandemic, and he was the best. Like, honestly, I was a bad influence on Shane. I'm not gonna lie. Wow. The mutual blowjobs, though, I was sort of joking, but did that ever happen? Could you elaborate? Could you explain if it didn't happen,

[Ronnie]

how it would have gone bandemic, otherwise known as mandemic? Did you give each other hand jobs? At the very least, Tell me the truth. We're stuck in the house for a lot of years. So he says that he loves the story that Shane told about the time. Oh, no. That Marcus almost left LA for good, and Shane talked him into staying. And Marcus is like, yeah, I can remember that night perfectly. Andy being on Sunset Boulevard, actually, after karaoke. And I was like, you know, I'm tired of this shit. If I hear one more person try to sing Alicia Keys, don't go chasing waterfalls. I'm out of here.

[Chris]

Like, what happened at karaoke? Like, he's like, yeah, I took a big swim. I thought I'd sing the one of the songs from Aladdin. That'll be a good throwback. No one liked it, and I was like it. Done with the city. No one appreciates a friend like me.

[Ronnie]

Is it Los Angeles or was it that Stevie Nicks cover? Am I right, Andy? And it was just really rough. And, you know, I was. I wasn't booking jobs or I would book them and I'd still be poor. And I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna go to law school. And, you know, I mean, my sister is a doctor. I'm smarter than her. So if she could be a doctor, I could be a lawyer. Because that's how it works.

[Chris]

Yes. Cut to 40 years from now. Marcus, so and so. How did you get into law? Really bad night at karaoke. Like, just the worst, horrible night of karaoke, really. Trying to sing Dream Lover by Mariah Carey. No one was buying it. And I thought, I'm out. I'm done going into law.

[Ronnie]

Do you know how fast the lyrics are for? If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it. I mean, rough. So

[Chris]

say, well, now, guess what? You now have a billboard together, which is really because of me, if you think about it. And so there's like, a picture of them with their billboard. So it all came together just like in the mandamic. So then Marcus is like, yeah, it's crazy how that worked. I mean, you would have to think Venus manifested for us or something like that. So I don't know. It's just. I'm just gonna start crying again and blinking really fast.

[Ronnie]

I appreciate it, brother. My appreciative brother. Okay, Shane, before your short film premiered, you talked briefly about your upbringing and your struggles with addiction. Shane, known for micro dramas, B films, and aaa across the street from Sir. What a resume. Let's talk about it. So we see Lisa's bottom lip pokes out immediately. I haven't watched this season. I'm sorry, but, Shane, addiction issues, parental

[Chris]

issues, broken bird alert. It's less her, like, little radar. It pops out when there's a sense that there's a broken bird somewhere.

[Ronnie]

She starts plucking out her feathers and, like, putting stuff together. What are you doing, Lisa? I'm making a nest at the emergency nest. Emergency nest.

[Chris]

Someone get that straw out of that pumptin and put it in the nest right away. So how did you find the train to get sober? So Shane tells a story about, you know, he says, like it was either that or die and just only had those two options. And if, you know, you want to go down this road, he's like, I can either be like my dad or I can and be in and out of jail or like other family members who just didn't make it. But, you know, this is the road I was on. I was young and I was already out of school by the time I was 15. I was just, I just sold dope with my mom and I was smoking crack and breaking into houses and hooking up with chicks and I lost, you know, he says he lost his virginity when he was 12 and he just was living fast with a bunch of broken people who were growing up, you know, in homes like him. And he just learned to just look out for himself. And he's doing this whole thing that's I, I, I, I'm not taking away from the monologue, but I'm sure it's like a, it's something he's probably had to say a lot, right? And like, and so he's explaining his story and he's like pretty chill as he's saying it. But then Lisa's like, but how did you end up being you? You shall cry, Shane Davis. I command it. How did you end up being you? I don't understand that because all roads don't lead to this yet. Somebody must have had a positive influence in your life. Who is that person? Do you want to cry about them? Sob Shane.

[Ronnie]

So do you want to tell us about that positive influence in your life that rhymes with manda slump?

[Chris]

He said, yeah, well, I always wanted to be loved and cared about.

[Ronnie]

Were you loved by your parents? Who? Didn't you feel secure? Well, I mean, they loved me the way they could, but it's just like, you know, it's really hard to be there for people when you're battling addiction yourself and say, oh my God, Zane Davis, but you're so good looking. How did that happen? Did you start your workout regimen before or after heroine?

[Chris]

Why are you so emotional right now? Would you like to lean into it? Please explain. Open your heart. Show me your wounds. He's like, well, I, I don't know. And she's like, are you, are you okay? Is that, is that a liquid diamond I'm seeing falling from your eyes? Oh. Lisa gets up out of her chair and goes over to Shane and puts her hands on him. She's like, oh, are you okay? Mommy has got save you. British mummy will save you.

[Ronnie]

Shane, listen, I just want you to know you're more than enough. Now tilt your head down into this plastic bag. Whatever you've been through, you came out the other side. Squeeze until tears come out. If you were my son, I'd be very proud of you. Squeeze. Okay, we've got enough tears. Just have these injected straight into my veins, darling. Give me the IV. Hello, it's me, Lisa Vanderpump, 20 years old. Thanks for the tears.

[Chris]

Oh, Pandy. Someone asks. Someone get me a walkie talkie for Pandy. She's in the control room. Pandy, Is he sobbing yet? No. Okay, Shane, I said that since I first saw you and I don't know that you realize this. That how special you are. Sob Saab, I say. He's like, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. He's not sobbing yet. Nothing's working. What's happening here? I tried to remind him of how special he is, but it's not enough. You came out the other side. If you were my son, I'd be very proud of you. And guess what? Today, Shane, I have printed out this special certificate on print shop that says, shane Davis, you have been formally adopted by the Vanderbump Todds of Beverly Hills. Congratulations. Here's a bow tie and a little hat and a small, tiny bed in our mansion just for you, little son.

[Ronnie]

I'm sorry, I have to take this. I have to take this walkie talkie from Pandy. Pandy, what is it? What do you mean, Max? What? What do you mean your brother is not crying outside because we've kicked him out of the family home. All right? No, don't bother getting his tears. He's too old. Cut him loose. Cut him loose. You've been replaced, Pandy.

[Chris]

Ask Maxwell if he cared about my tears when he made me walk through Hollywood to see that awful musician school that he never finished. Finished. Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Congratulations. Now I'm going to give you one of your ceremonial Max's pashminas so he won't need it anymore.

[Chris]

Who's Max? Wrap this around your shoulders, Shane, the way Pandy does, and you'll always feel my embrace. And if you concentrate very carefully, you might even taste the flavor of a poached salmon on your tongue.

[Ronnie]

So Andy asks him what response he's gotten from the viewers, and he's like, well, first people are like, oh, God, this guy's just a typical Whatever. But then I fucked them and they liked me a lot more after that. And then, you know, there's been people hitting me up, like, hey, I got this amount. You know, I got this time. This amount of time. And it makes me feel like, well, at least I'm useful to somebody. She's like, oh, you're useful to me? You're useful to me. I've never had such bone density as I've got after drinking your tea.

[Chris]

Oh, yes. He's like, well, thank you for sharing. If you would like a blow job, we can talk afterwards. I'm gonna offer this time because you've been through a lot. Okay, Say thank you. And Audrey's like, thank you, Shane. Thank you. And they love you, brother. Yeah. So they break for lunch and Demi's like, I've never seen Shane cry. Gross. It was disgusted by the scene.

[Ronnie]

It's disgusting. So Lisa comes up to Shane for a follow up. She's like, oh, we still rolling? All right.

[Chris]

Are you okay?

[Ronnie]

He's like, yeah, I'm good. You know, it's just a lot of, you know, talking about stuff. I got bullet holes. Just a minute. Take a minute before we come back. Go. Go have some lunch. Pull yourself together. You're good, you're good. You're my son. Now.

[Chris]

One more thing, Shane. I got you something special. It's a lolly. Enjoy. She pulls a lot out.

[Ronnie]

Now, listen, I'm here for you as long as you're on my television show. Now run along, run long.

[Chris]

Now, do you mind if I just start calling you new Max? Thank you, Shane. Thank you for filling the void.

[Ronnie]

So people are eating lunch and, you know, compliment. Angelica sees Audrey. She walks past her and she's like, oh, my God, you look so stunning, by the way. And she goes, yoto, I think that we're on the right track. She's okay, we'll talk more later. So they go. They go walk in. I heard somebody go fake or too faced.

[Chris]

I feel like, Ronnie, you just. Was that you just saying it to the tv?

[Ronnie]

I rewound it. And I was like, she said that. I. I heard somebody say, like, two faced or something like that.

[Chris]

Fake.

[Ronnie]

So Chris is like, I guess we've only got seven more. So they're checking in on Shane. He's like, oh, my God, I'm fine. You know, Know. And now they're making fun of Lisa's purse because it's a big feathered purse. It's a nest, darling. And Venus goes, it looks like my pubs.

[Chris]

Oh, my God, that's like, so funny. That's like, the funniest thing you've ever sat than us. And I was like, are your pubes half pink? Because I want to dye my pubes half pink. I'm gonna manifest that. Yeah, let's do that. That's great. Okay, everyone, quiet. Four, three, two, one. Fake. Okay, we're off. Andy. Okay, we are back with LVP and her new son. Congratulations. Love that you were able to take him out to Sears to take a family photo real quick. Okay, so, Demi, we found out right before you went to Paso Robles for Lisa's women in wine event. Please. Andy said correctly that Kim and Marcus had broken up again. I think you spoke for the entire audience when you questioned what Kim could have possibly done during a special hug to upset Marcus. I love that this is a question for Kim, but we're still not going to ask it to her. We're going to ask it to Demi instead of dead.

[Ronnie]

So what was the special hug? And Demi? Demi's like, well, it was a hug, but, like, it was both arms, so it was special. Well, yeah, I don't even think it was both arms. Yo. To keep it real. It wasn't both arms. Like, it wasn't a nor. It wasn't. It was a normal hug. It was like a classic hug.

[Chris]

Classic. Just your standard classic hug. Oh, like the ones that Shane never got growing up. He has mommy here now. Dog him all day long.

[Ronnie]

Well, if it was the normal hug, then why did you get jealous? He's like, because the inner. Inner jealousy asses came out of me in that moment, brother. That's why. That's why, Andy. Well, Angelica, you got jealous at the Madonna inn when you found out that Shane and Audrey kissed during a music video shoot that nobody ever saw. So knowing that Audrey was in a relationship at that time didn't ease your mind? She's like, I mean, Audrey and I weren't in the best place at that time. And, like, that was my authority. Romantic feelings, Andy, you know, like, I would have appreciated heads up from a girl about it. And Audrey's like, Chris was there, and we didn't even know we had to kiss. So that's why you didn't get a heads up because I didn't even know,

[Chris]

you know, Kim was like, so we're not talking about that hug situation. You might ask me how I felt.

[Ronnie]

Kim didn't even get one line in that whole thing. They just skipped over Kim.

[Chris]

You're just not gonna. I feel like, generally so bad for Kim now. I just. I don't know. Like, I felt like she was such a drip all season, but now I. I just. I just feel like they just ignore her. It's just not right. So Audrey is like, yeah, yeah. That music video that I did that you got jealous about? Like, Chris was there, and that was like, a professional thing that I did. Like, I went to Shane and I kissed him, and I was like. I said that at the table. Like, I didn't know we were kissing until we got to the beach. So, like, how could I even give you a heads up? And he's like, yeah, well, speaking of kissing, I felt like I was having a fever dream when you guys all started making out with each other in San Luis Obispo. And of course, we stopped to harp on this moment, which literally no one cared about watching this show. But we're like, okay, you guys all kiss. Who? Venus, you said Natalie with the world's kisser because she put her little strawberry tongue in your mouth. Should we talk about the kissing? Who is the best kisser? Who is the worst kisser? Who wants a kiss again now? Did anyone use the penis bump?

[Ronnie]

Jason was the best kisser. Wow. Everybody. Okay, could you explain to me your theory on her pheromones versus Angelica's pheromones and Jason's like, well, like, pheromones. Like, that comes from a place, place of, like, energy. And Natalie's personality was just vibrant, and I liked who she was, and I guess that enhanced her pheromone smell or something. And they're like, wow. Okay.

[Chris]

He liked her natural woman scent. Chris, for the elaboration.

[Ronnie]

Then Andy asked about the possible three way they were all gonna have between Jason, Natalie, and the other girl she started making out with. And it didn't happen. Guys, Guys. Wow. So, okay, let's see here. I'm skipping that. I'm assuming that most of this room have had a threesome, right? And everyone says no, except for, of course, Chris and Andy's like, okay, but was it a threesome for real or pay for threesome? I mean, it does matter. Was it work? Was it work?

[Chris]

All right, Kim has not had a threesome. So, Kim, I have a question for anyone else but Kim about threesomes. Okay, that's Venus. Tell me about your threesome. And Venus, like, yeah, I let two guys go down on me at the same time. It was wild. It was crazy. And she's like, wow, that's crazy. How does that. How does that work? Like, Shane, there's plenty of space.

[Ronnie]

Did you get two penises. Where'd you get another one? Some guys get all the extra helpings, am I right?

[Chris]

Oh, I'll tell you where. I'm gonna go down to the toy store for a present for my new son, Shane.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, so Shane's like, Andy says, Shane Davis. I mean, come on, you've had threesomes. I mean, please, like, listen to your stories. There's at least a threesome in there. And he's like, well, but it wasn't with two chicks though. Okay, please tell us more.

[Chris]

And then all of a sudden, Andy just moves forward. I was like, wait, excuse me.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, finally you get to a question we want the answer to. Rewind recently.

[Chris]

He's like, well, talk to me about ethical, not monogamy, Shane. And he's like, yeah, I just think that, you know, I cuss, I cut past all that confusion, you know? Yeah. It's called a cop out. Haha. And Gene says like, yeah, I just let you know up front, that way you have a choice as a woman. Do you want to entertain? Dish? Like, I'm not going to be monogamous to you whatsoever. Okay, so what form would that take? If someone said yes to that, would you tell the woman, oh, I was. Was with someone? You know what, it just depends on the boundaries that she has in place. But I think, you know, it's kind of crazy because I've only been with like six women this year. I mean, last year. Last year. I was only with six women last year, so it's kind of slow for me.

[Ronnie]

Well, how many in this group? And he's like, in this particular group. And Audrey guesses too. And he's like, yeah, I don't want to throw that like that. You know, I slept with two women in the group. I don't want to say that. Like two. Yeah. And Jason answers Angelica. Natalie. And Demi's like, oh, I didn't even know he slept with Angelica. Whoa. Wow.

[Chris]

Wow. I'm actually so happy for her right now because she want that so badly. Look how. Look how happy I am. Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie]

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[Chris]

Shane says they hooked up right after Pride because of course, the new boobs, right? And he says, yeah, but then I didn't hit her up for like a week showing. I kind of knew, you know, when I reached back out I'd be off the hook because I knew she'd have a boyfriend by then.

[Ronnie]

Off the hook. That's what they say when they really like something, right? No, it's the traditional way of saying off the hook. Oh, when you. When your coat falls to the ground. No, Lisa, I just don't understand the lingo.

[Chris]

Is this the same as doing the do? So Shane is like, hank, yeah. And he says, all right, Angelica, tell me about the LAX guy. It's like, well, I mean, obviously coming into this group, you know, and using guys's distraction I probably should have taken a bit more time to myself, but in the moment, he was, like, meeting a breath. He's like, meeting a breath of fresh air for the first time. Time.

[Ronnie]

Okay, well, does Lax guy know you slept with Shane while you were talking? She's like, yeah. I mean, he was seeing other people, too. Yeah. And Natalie's like, yeah. Can I say something? Like, being single is, like, so fun,

[Chris]

y'.

[Ronnie]

All.

[Chris]

That's gonna be the name of my new song, Being Single. So.

[Ronnie]

So Andy's like, what about you, Natalie? And she's like, what about it? It's like, well, your. Your situationship was changed. Like, oh, my God. Like, Shane and I are, like, so close. Like, he's this day, one of my best friends. But, like, I don't really know what's going on right now. He's like, stairs. I'm like, what are they?

[Chris]

God, I hate going into a new part of the house and just, like, falling down the staircase. They're so difficult. It's like, all right, so you don't know what's going on with the two of you, right? And he's just like, yeah, Shane, what is going on with the two of you?

[Ronnie]

Well,

[Chris]

and then everyone's like, yeah, you guys look really good. You guys are so good. But you guys are so good together. Yeah. She's like, no. I realized, like, after a couple of times, I was like, hey, let's put that boundary up with no hooking up. Because, like, you mean a lot to me, and if we do this, I might freak out and split and run off. You know what I'm saying?

[Ronnie]

It's like, yeah, he gets close and then he runs. But, like, we still talk for hours and sleep in the same bed, and, like, we're all over each other. So. So who knows? Do you have feelings for him? I mean, if you're good friends, couldn't that be the basis of something more? And so very long answer from her is basically like, you know, I've had friends, and I. I missed that. And a boyfriend, because I think boys and girls should be friends if they're together. And that would be nice but vulnerable. But, you know, it just seems like it's all there, Andy, but he just can't communicate, commit. But they talk multiple times a day, and they're dear friends. And Shane's like, yeah, one of my best friends, but are you attracted to her? And he's like, she's hot. Yeah. They just can't do it.

[Chris]

Guys.

[Ronnie]

He can't commit. Oh, God. Poor Shane. Can't commit.

[Chris]

It's tricky for me. You got into tricky. Oh, is this more trauma? Can't commit because you never had a mother who said, I love you. And Natalie's like, yeah, it's funny because, like, we'll all sleep in the same bed and the next day he'll be like, that was the best night's sleep I've had in a very long time. And I'm like, yeah, it's cuz we love each other, right? And Shane's like, yeah, that's true. I do sleep better. Yeah. I'm like, I'm not trying to throw him under the bus, but like, if we're gonna be honest, explain what it really is. Cuz like when we're together, he'll be like, scratch my back. And like, we'll be like, I love each other. And it just like, feels right. Because I'll like, scratch his back and I'll be like, that felt good. And I'm like, it felt good for me to. And I'm like, I'm glad I didn't cut my nails. He's like, yeah, I'm glad you didn't cut your nails too. It's kind of like we're in love, you know?

[Ronnie]

Listen, Shane is so let down. He can't risk his sobriety by getting involved with somebody. He's got to fuck multiple people a week because otherwise he could let someone down in the future and then he would be even more vulnerable. Who needs him more vulnerable? Not me, surely. Get over here. I'm gonna open my eyes. Pretend your ears are teardrops. Pretend your tears are eye drops and put them in your dry. I feel so much better.

[Chris]

Shane, did my psychological analysis move you to tears? Did it make you want to sob because you realized dating Natalie could risk the thing you've worked so hard for? Your sobriety sob into my bosom, Shane.

[Ronnie]

Natalie's like, well, how do you think you would let people down? I mean, I don't get it. And he's like, well, you know, like you got expectations that I don't want to lose her emotionally. So what are you guys not understanding? I hate when someone is so honest and people are like, what? But wait, I think it's just an insecurity that you would let me down. But like, it's just because you're like, so vulnerable and you had a rough childhood. But maybe like, it's just you haven't found me. No, he's telling you he's not going to stop other people. He's going to Let you down by. By making you think there is something and then fucking other people. What do you guys not understand? Stop trying to talk him out of it, for Christ's sake.

[Chris]

I mean, I'm sure there is probably a fear that he has. I. I don't. I don't know if this is something that, like, you know, people in recovery deal with, but I have to imagine there's probably some concern, like, what if I fall off the wagon and I disappoint this person? I don't want to hurt them. I'm sure there is that. But I also. He's also like a hot young model who just wants to fuck people. So, like, he just wants to just play around. He's just newly famous famous. He just wants to stick his dick in anything that moves right now. So.

[Ronnie]

And he's so many reasons that people are, you know, up. There are so many reasons. But just don't go trying to solve the boy. Like, it's not a riddle. It's not a New York Times puzzle, and you're only going to get screwed in the end. So just don't. Just. Just not. Don't do that. Okay, Go back to wordle. Not anyone on this cast, but just

[Chris]

in general, hilarious that these. To think that these people would be doing word games.

[Ronnie]

But I take it back immediately.

[Chris]

It's like, okay, we'll have you guys do a single word you guys can type in. It's one of five vowels today. It's like. It's about. They play vowel. It's like, well, they gave me five chances, but I somehow didn't get it right.

[Ronnie]

I want to buy a vowel. A T

[Chris]

has to be a vowel, okay? Because there's two E's at the end of T. So anyway, we have a end. Welcome back to the Vanderbilt rules reunion. Shane. On the last night of the trip to Paso Robles, you broke things up with Angelica, and you even went so far as to lock your door. Oh, but did he lock his heart? Because mommy is here to save him. Okay, Lisa, I'm gonna need you to settle down over there. So we see the flashbacks of that trip. Why did that feel. Why did locking a door and putting a security camera on Angelica feel like the right decision in that moment? Shane?

[Ronnie]

Well, I was scared that Angelica may be coming into my room and then us having sex. I appreciate that. Yeah. Angelica's such a weirdo. And he's like, yeah. And I was like, you know, she's a few drinks deep. And I was like, that's just not gonna Be good for me. Also, you thought she was crazy, and you had just told her that you wanted nothing to do with her in this way, and she was still trying to sneak into your room. So, yeah, he's too much of a gentleman to say that, but, like, let's

[Chris]

face it, that's what he was saying.

[Ronnie]

So Angelica was next to you, an LAX guy. Literally, don't care. She's still dating this guy. And she's like, but, you know, you've got some serious struggles with this guy. I mean, you've reached out to me when you guys broke up. She goes, well, yeah, but, like, as a friend, because you give me good pep talks, you know? And Audrey goes, because you needed to feel validated. And she goes, yeah, of course. I don't care. You cannot get rid of Angelica. That shit's funny. She's like, of course. What are men for?

[Chris]

I need constant validation. I'm like a car that keeps on driving into parking garages.

[Ronnie]

And Audrey just shrugs her shoulders like she thought she got a point there, but she's like, that is exactly why I called him.

[Chris]

Sandy is like, so how many times you guys broken up? They've broken up a bunch of times. Which, by the way, this show can't handle two toxic couples. We already have Marcus and Kim. We cannot have another one, so.

[Ronnie]

Of course we can. It's Vanderpump rules. Tom and Katie, Jackson Stassi, Kristen and crows.

[Chris]

Okay, that's a fair point. So Andy is like, okay, Z, bro. Are you so. But you. You're somehow thinking about getting engaged? Yeah. I mean, we both come from toxic past, and, like, we've been, like, in therapy for the last four months, so everything solves. It's like, oh, together? Yeah, together. Well, and how did you guys meet? She's like, oh, God. And Demi just jumps and goes, I don't like him. Which is like, wow, what a surprise. Demi doesn't like someone,

[Ronnie]

so nobody likes him. Really? And Jimmy's like, yeah, I met him a couple weeks ago. And, like, I was super excited to meet him. I was like, this was my face when I met him. And, like, I mean, I don't know what happened, but she was crying and she was upset and they were fighting. Yeah, but what happened is they showed the video of Shane and I kissing. That's what happened. So did this guy come to, like, one of their live viewing party things or whatever? And then a scene of them kissing came, and he, like, threw a fit at the restaurant. Oh, what a loser.

[Chris]

I know, Seriously. And so Angelica's like, yeah, the first time he'd seen it. And so we got into, like, a really big fight. And Demi's like, like, I don't care. I don't like him. I took the friends and family discount off his bill because I was like, he's not friend or family. Look at me laughing at my good work. Mark's like, can I come to lax, guys? Defense from one toxic boyfriend to another. Okay. You know when you get into a new relationship and you're dating this girl and she's not even complimenting. Complimenting you on your, like, great karaoke performance, you know? And you need that, because otherwise you just may quit the entire city, you know? And, like, this girl, she's, like, sought after by girls. Guys like Shane Davis and Jason. These, like, are studs. It's just, like, not the easiest thing for a guy to, you know, to be ultra secure in that moment. Oh, boohoo, boohoo for this guy.

[Ronnie]

Come on, Marcus. Now this is not the one to be. Everyone's like, this guy is, like, emotionally abusive. And Marcus is like, oh, wait a minute, brother. I gotta stand up for this guy. I've just gotta. No, Marcus, no.

[Chris]

It's hard for him. It's hard to be a guy who has to see his hot girlfriend making out with other guys instead before you came into the picture. Like, that's really difficult.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then Kim's like, well, listen, like, I'm in a toxic relationship, and, like, in my way, it's, like, fun, because it's like, well, he doesn't like me, but he does. Every time he comes back, I know that he truly loves me. But, like, your guys's relationship, like, he makes you feel smaller, and he doesn't allow her to shine. Andy, he wants control. And Lisa's like, oh, God, really? Another one? All right, get him into casting immediately.

[Chris]

He sounds like a great way to. Oh, I. I'm so sorry that he's toxic, but it's so hard to find a good waiter these days.

[Ronnie]

So Angelica's like, well, I mean, I see similarities in, like, the relationship. Like, you guys have Kim, you know, but I'm still rooting for you guys. And Kim's like, well, I'm rooting for you guys too, you know, I just want you to be happy. And. And he's like, oh, sounds a little volatile. She goes, yeah, it is volatile.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Angelica, so clueless.

[Chris]

I love it.

[Ronnie]

She's like, yeah, it's like, totally romantic.

[Chris]

And does Kim say he erupts a version of Angelica? That I don't believe she needs to be. I think she maybe evokes, but she goes, yeah. He like, you want her to have the best, most respectful guy. And Lisa's like, oh, whoever you are, sitting on that stool, it's difficult for me. Bless you. To take your advice on a relationship. I'm sorry, Kim, the broken bird line ends here. You have to be out in the cold. I mean, seriously.

[Ronnie]

Bless you, though, Jocelyn.

[Chris]

But please, wherever you are, unfortunately, we've tried to repair your wings, and just not. Not for us, you'll have to go to a different establishment.

[Ronnie]

So Andy says, so you're with LA guy? And she's like, yeah. And Andy says, okay, but you have a baby packed with Shane. And Kim's like, wait a minute. So Angelica's like, well, when Shane and I slept together, it was like, if we ended up single, like, would you ever want children? And like, I was like, I. I got into a relationship, so I guess the pack's broken. Well, the path was that you two would have kids together if you didn't have kids by a certain age. Oh, come on. Is this, like, what everybody does with their gay best friends? And by the way, I have reneged on every one of those packs. There's one of those where you just make with your best girlfriend when you're like, oh, my God, if we're 40 and we haven't had a baby, we are totally getting married and having a baby. And then I hit 40 and I was like, hell, no. I'm not marrying any of you crazies.

[Chris]

My friend tried to do that with me, and I was like, no, because you're gonna then make me try to, like. And then I'll have to, like, raise the child. And I'm like, no, I don't want to do it. So then Shane, I was like, I'm like, pre dead beating. I'm basically like Shane Davis.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris]

I'm like, yeah, it's called ethical deadbeat.

[Ronnie]

I'm not doing that. And my friends didn't want to marry me either. In their defense, like, I'm saying they're crazy. They were probably like, I'm not marrying you, you loser. You still have the same sheets as when we made that pack 20 years ago.

[Chris]

Shane's basically like, yeah, I made a baby pack because I am very genetically fortunate. That and she would have my genes.

[Ronnie]

Like, what? I want details about genetically whatever. And Angelica's like, well, like, hypothetical medical. Like, if you're ever single when you're 40, you know, we don't have children. And now it's like, yeah, you know, normal pillow talk conversation. So wait, no. Go back to genetically fortunate because you're good looking. Yes, Andy, what do you think he means? Yes, they're hot. Two hot people having a baby. What's so hard to get?

[Chris]

I think it probably has something to do with the federal grants he got for all the research he's doing on various topics. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because he's hot.

[Ronnie]

Andy, did you seek out some fuggo to have babies with? Get out of here.

[Chris]

That's right.

[Ronnie]

Search for a hot person.

[Chris]

So anyway, okay, Audrey, you roasted all of your friends, but it's clear that you kind of sharpened your ax for Angelica. So tell us more about that. And I was like, yeah, like. Like it was stuff that was, like, already out there that we'd already been talking about for weeks. So, like, don't get mad at her, because, like. Yeah, but it was weaponized. Guys, guys, guys, guys, listen. All of us felt bad for Angelica in that moment. Audrey's like, oh, please. You came to me every single day, Marcus, for weeks, saying, you're so fun. You're the funniest girl in West Hollywood. He's like, yeah, I'm toxic. Don't you. Don't you remember that part? But I was building you up.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, brother, but, like, I was building you up because you were funny. I'm like, my bad. You were funny. No, sorry. But in the moment, like, look around the room. Like, look around the room of people cheering, Audrey, Audrey. Audrey Street. And she's like, you're full of for that, Audrey. You were an just. Everybody is. Even Marcus is saying, you're an. Well, okay, Marcus, I don't know, but everyone agrees so sensitive to this stuff

[Chris]

because obviously there was some terrible thing that happened at karaoke. And he's just like, has his heart goes out to people who get publicly humiliated in small bars, apparently.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And he's like, you know, you did a good job. It was your first stand up. But that was still mean. And he's like, but at the end of the day, we can't brother for brother. And we can't sit here and pretend that all of us were like, God damn jam. She's cooking her ass. And Natalie goes, well, honestly, I didn't feel bad. Like, I thought it was funny. And Venus is like, yeah, a roast is like a comedy special. I've seen him on tv. I was getting a blow job for, like, five people last time I saw a roast, nobody said nothing to me about it.

[Chris]

Yeah, I was watching Nanette when those guys were going down on me. And so Kim is like, yeah, but you don't talk about your relationship and then go after her looks. That was, like, a low blow. She could have stopped it. And I was like, yeah, yeah. Well, she didn't go after her looks at all. She's being funny. Margo's like, yeah, but you said Facetune. Audrey was like, okay, I didn't say you needed it. I said you used it. And that's a fact.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, but, like, also, like, Angelica is the kind of girl who always wants to, like, throw jabs at people like Jason and Audrey. And Angelica's like, okay, yeah, I will. Can you let me finish? Can you let me finish? Okay.

[Chris]

Venus.

[Ronnie]

Venus of the hair flick.

[Chris]

I know. Trying to make something happen.

[Ronnie]

Him.

[Chris]

Because I will embarrass a man that wants to act trifling with me, but that's just who I am. And. But I will not go after a girl. And Jason's like, hey, I never act trifling with you, Angelica. And Venus, like, yeah, I'm not saying you're a jabber, okay? Because you're. Because you're.

[Ronnie]

Because you're.

[Chris]

Because you're a jabber. But, like, she made some jabs at you on the stage and just kind of karma. Because you constantly give out jabs. Jabber.

[Ronnie]

No, because she didn't jab at Aubrey, at Audrey, so that's not karma. And Jason saying, I never act trifling with you, Angelica. What are you talking about? You threw her on the ground. I in a class and threw out her back. And then acted like an asshole after that.

[Chris]

And then. And then admitted like, oh, by the way, remember how you asked me if I was seeing someone? I am seeing someone.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, exactly. So what are you talking about? So Andy's like, well, you said you don't come after women's looks, but you called her Ugly Angelica. And you said she looked like Sid the Sloth. Okay, so we got that wrong the first time when we recapped it. The first time we said Miss Tits. Sir Tits a lot. Or we said something like that. I didn't know it was Said the Sloth. So now I'm gonna look up Sid the Sloth.

[Chris]

I think. Is that from Zootopia?

[Ronnie]

Oh, or like, so rude.

[Chris]

Let me look. I'm looking up to Sid the Sloth. Oh, no, the sloth is from Ice Age. Oh, that's even worse.

[Ronnie]

I don't think she looks like that. But that is so fucking rude. And also Hilarious.

[Chris]

So Ray Romano sloth.

[Ronnie]

So Angelica's like, well, I was hurt. No. And I shouldn't have said that. And I'm not wrong. And I'm sorry, because you're not. Not ugly, Audrey. And she's like, thank you. I know that. That's why I didn't react to it.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

But the person I saw was an ugly person, and I was waiting for an apology because I came to her and I was like, congratulations on Ice Age.

[Chris]

And by the way, said the sloth is John Link wasamo not Rano. For anyone who is about to send me.

[Ronnie]

I was gonna say he looks energetic. He looks like a very energetic to be a character to be played by. And the pictures, like, happy.

[Chris]

Okay, so where were we here in this fight again?

[Ronnie]

We're still talking about who apologized, who didn't apologize. And Jolica's like, no, she did not apologize. So Andy's like, okay, Audrey, is there anything you want to apologize for the roast? And when I tell you, you can hear the buzz of the lights as Audrey just looks around like, yeah, very serious.

[Chris]

Stand up comedian. She goes, okay, let me say one thing.

[Ronnie]

Okay.

[Chris]

The Instagram was below the belt, and I thought that the relationship wasn't that crazy in my head, but I apologize that it affected you the way that it did. She goes. And I go, thank you. That it was a very. It was very fresh, and I just had moved out, so it was like, a lot. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for that. I also want to say it was a 15 minute set, and there was 10 minutes where I was like, I didn't just, like, roast them all one time. And did. I just, like, did. And three on her. Okay. I did a few unchained. Mean, I do a bunch of everybody. Okay. I even. I even roasted Lisa Vanderpump. Ooh, what do you mean, roast? Is that slang for said something very affectionate about your boss? No, no, no, no. I just. I said a lot of different things. Okay. It just felt like the door was open because our conversation we had and Demi is like, I'm not really sorry, though, because, like, when you say how it's like, not a sorry when you say I'm sorry. And then, however, you know, oh, look, there's beautiful Bueller. What's Bueller doing back there?

[Ronnie]

It's just scratching around, getting more comfortable. He heard the sloth and he was like, where? She's like, okay, I apologize then. You're right. You're right. Well, are you still pursuing stand up Comedy. And she's like, yes, I am. And they're like, she's so good. She goes, yeah. I'm like, I think I'm funny as.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

How many gigs have you done since then? Where's your set? I do not believe you. I just want that. I just want Sarah Kalana back to just look at her like, please kill me me.

[Chris]

I know I do not associate with this person. Oh, what did you say about me and your quote unquote rehost? And so we see unseen footage of Audrey being like, okay, guys, for those of you who don't know who Lisa Vanderpump is, she's basically froze, turned into a person.

[Ronnie]

Yikes. Boo. Boo. So Lisa Pride is one of the biggest celebrations for straight people in your version of West Hollywood. Would. So why choose Venus to throw your party? He's gay.

[Chris]

Why would you, after 12 seasons of the show, finally allow a gay person to do something gay on Pride? What changed?

[Ronnie]

Well, you know, Venus has been a huge presence here, and there is no split, split end Pride. So we decided to let him do Gay Pride.

[Chris]

I thought buy is as close to split end as we could get, so.

[Ronnie]

Wow, I was really moved by your coming out story about how your dad watched all of Vanderpump Rules as a way to connect with you. I mean, wow, that is gay. Your dad watched the straightest show on Bravo.

[Chris]

Yeah, you know, it was really nice. And even I haven't watched all the seasons. Okay. Because, like, I think there were like three that were made before I was even born.

[Ronnie]

I don't know.

[Chris]

It's like old people drama, right? I was like, whoa. I hadn't really talked to my dad in 10 years. Just like a little bit here and there. Oh, oh, 10 years. You must feel so alone, so left out. Would you say that you don't have a father? One second. Pandy, get your father on the phone. Tell him we've got another new son coming in. Get him ready.

[Ronnie]

Get him. Tell.

[Chris]

Tell daddy to get a baseball mid out.

[Ronnie]

Okay, never mind. Never mind. He's gay. Never mind. Stay back there, darling.

[Chris]

Stay. Cancel X may on the. It makes.

[Ronnie]

Cancel the. Cancel project Pashmina. Cancel it.

[Chris]

Get the telephone booth in Paris ready. Tell Cedric he can't stay there anymore. We've got a new day coming in.

[Ronnie]

So. And he's like, audrey, you talked about your queer dating history in your standup show. What's that about? And she says she was 14 and never had a relationship, but she was a freshman. And. And she fell in love with A girl in acting studio, and they dated four years, but then she transitioned into a man. And so she was able to watch that happen. And she's like, it took so much courage. And I was like, you need to do that on your own.

[Chris]

That's great. Okay, Marcus again. Andy's like, yeah, I don't know what to say about that. So Andy goes, goes Marcus. And Kim, I was surprised when you were talking about stopping taking birthing control. Have you had any pregnancy scares? Please, please don't reproduce. Kim's like, no pregnancy wishes every time I'm a day late. And Marcus is like, well, babe. And I think, honestly, not for nothing, Marcus would be a great father. Huh? And they go, that's terrifying. No one's like, no one turned into Marcus to be a dad.

[Ronnie]

So they talk about this. She's like, but he's always wanted it, so, you know, let's do it. And he's well, there are different levels to being ready. Stable relationships are a good place to start.

[Chris]

Listen, I've always wanted to be an Olympian. It does not mean that I just get to be an Olympian, okay? Like, wanting it is different than being ready for it. Okay? I will be the one tripping on any sport that I apply for.

[Ronnie]

So, you know, I do eventually leave my house and go into public, and any old idiot can have a baby. I can tell you that. There are plenty of them out there. I say, just drop them if you want on him, just do it. Everybody else is.

[Chris]

It's true. Really? And he's like, well, are you financially ready? Is your relationship in a place where it's ready? You know, they're like, well, maybe if you gave us a raise, we could pay for.

[Ronnie]

I know. Like, maybe if you paid us more than $10 an episode, that would help. So they're talking about it. Nobody's really feeling for it. And they're like, well, why don't you use protection? And Marcus goes, come on, brother. I haven't pulled out since college.

[Chris]

Oh, you're talking about classes or vaginas. So Kim's like, oh, my God, my mother's watching. Guys, are you pulling out Andy? He's like, I don't really have to worry about that. He said, are we talking about vehicles? So Andy's like, welcome back to the Vanderbump Rules reunion. Which feels like it should be wrapping up, but we're still gonna keep on going when it comes to social media,

[Ronnie]

people. Jesus. So now we're talking about only going. Yeah, it just was. It's. It didn't need two parts for sure. So now they're talking about the only fans drama and how Angelica never watched it. She only read the caption. And the caption was disgusting. All three of our favorite boys are back together. All three of our throbbing and spread open holes, rubbing each other down all over oil, dust up saggy balls and stroking. So she's like, okay, you know, you read that and what do you think the video is? And she's like, yeah, I put two and two together. So I just read the caption. And other people who agreed, who. Who watched the video agreed at the time. Well, Demi, you watched 45 seconds. And she goes, it was awful, Andy. I came everywhere.

[Chris]

It was worse than Hammer. I thought people liked Hamnet. Have you seen it?

[Ronnie]

Is it good Hamnet?

[Chris]

It's supposed to be great. I. I want to see it. I hear it's just like you just cry. And I kind of feel like, just like. I think when I'm here in New York, I'm like, once my parents go to bed, I'm just gonna put it on my laptop and sit here and just cry in my childhood bed while I watch Hamnet.

[Ronnie]

I was gonna watch it the other day and I saw the. Just the main picture of it. It's like hamnet and it was. Was just a lady cry with tears in her eyes, crying and staring into the sun. And I was like, I'm going to watch the YouTube Raiders Girl. I ain't watching this.

[Chris]

So Demi's like, g. It was awful. And I was like, well, conf. And confirmed that it was incest. What in 45 seconds made you think it was incest? Well, all I saw were just these two. And like, there was like some other guy or something like that. And Jason goes, yeah, there was an older man. It's like he was probably, I don't know, like, 28, just a real old guy. And Demi's like, yeah, and you're like, fully naked and you guys are massaging each other in the shower. And I just was like, not ready for any of it. Gross.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I'm like, are they blood related? Are they related by marriage? And Chris is like, listen, everyone has their own opinion. That's the thing about art. You know, I create it. And you guys, you know, you're allowed to have your opinion. You know, just Picasso. Listen to naysayers. Who is Picasso? I don't know. I mean, seriously, guys, Art.

[Chris]

Demi's like, but are they like first cousins or their second cousins? Like, this really affects the incest of it. All. And Chris like, it's fine. And Jason's like, I wasn't, like, even massaging him, you know? She's like, I saw your penis. She goes, yeah, I know. In the beginning, I was naked. Andrew's like, but I had on a

[Ronnie]

thong to massage him. So it was totally different.

[Chris]

Shane. Audrey goes, shane told Angelica that his cousin told him to finger someone. And she still went after him. Him, like, what?

[Ronnie]

Nuh. And that, like, no, he said it was squirting. She goes, okay, well, squirting, whatever. So then we see the clip of Shane saying, when I was a teenager, my cousin brought his girlfriend into the other room to teach me how to make women squirt.

[Chris]

It's the same thing. Angelica. And he's like, okay, Marcus said that it seemed like you were really trying to embarrass Jason about the video. Were you? Because you were mad at him. Can someone show me this video, by the way? The way Angelica's like, no, I think that, like, you just wanted to get my point across. I just want to get my point across. And, like, watching myself back, that incest part, like, really makes me uncomfortable.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, okay, you're right. I didn't see it. But I read the caption. Like, what do you want from me? And Jason's like, well, but, like, what if you weren't pissed off at me? Would you still have acted like that? And she's like, I support only fans. I have friends on Only Fans. And then he's like, yeah, I support only fans, too. It's just like, the cousin part was weird. Weird.

[Chris]

She's like, well, I have no problem. Okay? I think the cousin aspect of it is where I was like, whoa. Now it's like, yeah, but they weren't even touching each other's dicks. It was just like two cousins being naked together, you know, oiling each other up. Like, what's so wrong with that? Well, I didn't know that. I didn't watch it. Jason goes, it's a great video, guys. Honestly, it's some of our best work.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they get some good advertisements. I thought it was actually really good advertising. The way that Demi and Angelica were talking about it, it just crashed. The minute that Natalie. Like, they're not even touching each other's dicks. It's like, okay. And sales just plummeted.

[Chris]

I know. Well, we had asked, you know, in the excitement of the crappies, when what we basically had all. In case you didn't hear, like, pretty much the whole cast showed up. And so we had them all up on stage, and prior to that, we were gonna have. We were gonna have, like, more of a moment with Chris and Jason, and I was gonna ask. We were talking to them backstage, and Chris was saying that they got, like, a whole. They've been getting so many signups for their only fans. So I was going to ask him about that on stage, and I felt really bad that I forgot about it. But, yeah, he apparently said. And I was hoping for him to elaborate more on it, but apparently this has just been great advertising for them. They're, like, raking in the money from it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's why you do it. And I say that's why you do Vanderpump Rules, because you're going to make a lot more money on Only Fans than you are on Vanderpump Pump Rules if you do well. So Lisa's like, can I ask something? I haven't seen it. I'm not going to see it unless it will make Shane cry. Will it make Shane cry? That's my question. No. Okay, I don't care. But listen, there needs to be clarity, because I'm not understanding. Okay, if these two are in the shower and giving each other a massage to earn money from only fans, or is it a completely sexual thing, what is it?

[Chris]

Well, I don't know. Why don't you give me five minutes to go wash it in my trailer, and I'll be right back. Oh, I apparently can't do that. Well, okay, on a scale of nothing to White Lotus, what was it? And Chris is like, you know, we're not hooking up with each other. I'm just massaging Jason's freaking shoulders while the masseuse is just massaging me and, you know, getting some boners and, like, rubbing each other's boners and, I don't know, like, coming on each other's chest. But, like, I don't know. It's like, pretty. Pretty simple stuff.

[Ronnie]

And Jason's like, there was a professional masseuse there to watch us swallow, so it was like, totally fine. He was older. He was older.

[Chris]

It was our other guy. Cousin Chris is like, yeah, he's massaging our lower back. Not really even getting into your ass, you know? And she's like, yeah, it's. Our other roommate was the one who was, like, a little bit more nude than us. He was the one. Wait, there's more guys.

[Ronnie]

He was more nude? Did he take off his penis? How was he more nude? And so Chris is like, yeah, there are four guys. Myself, my roommate at the time, the old guy, the masseuse, and the guy who does clown parties. Wait, that's more than four?

[Chris]

Yeah. And we got one of the baristas from Phil's coffee. Wait a second. This is like a gym locker room. Now. Jason's like, what? What do you mean, a gym locker room? Like, how guys are naked in the gym locker room. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I love that Jason got hooked up at that point. He's like, whoa.

[Ronnie]

Oh, wait, what locker room is that happening? People are doing this for free. And Lisa's like, wait. Seal saying it's not a sexual act is what you're saying. And he's like, no, it's not. Like, I was Jason in the ass. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't talk like this in 1873.

[Chris]

Can we just get a clar. Just a final number count of how many guys are in this video? I just want to know.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my gosh. They just go on and on about this. So then they start asking this. And he's like, okay, Chris, do you film with other women? And he's like, well, there is one woman I did film a scene with, but she was a professional porn star at the time. And Jason goes, very famous. Huge. That was a big one. He's like, yeah, we were hooking up, and she liked me more than I liked her, you know? And I told her her I wasn't comfortable dating her because she was a porn star. And listen, I know that might sound up because I do only fans, but listen, you know, it's not right to toy with someone's feelings unless they're your cousin. And Jason's like, that's right, bro. I'm here for you.

[Chris]

Is this like, this, like, delineation between porn star and only fans? I'm not acting like it's not there, but is this, like, the delineation of, like, in the 90s between, like, softcore and hardcore?

[Ronnie]

Now?

[Chris]

It's like, yeah, I'm only fans, but not hardcore porn, I guess.

[Ronnie]

But he said he did her on camera, so he is a porn star. I mean, it's like the only. The only difference is, like, you don't have a contract with any kind of company, I guess. Like, what would it be like? Are you independent if you're on only fans, Are you, like, just hard an indie movie? And you're like, I'm not dating a. You know, I'm not dating, like, Sandra Bullock. I'm indie.

[Chris]

Yeah. Just hard to believe he didn't get cast in that new Tangled Reboot. You know, know. So close. So close.

[Ronnie]

So Chris is beat by a Manheim.

[Chris]

Yeah. Cameron Manheim's son.

[Ronnie]

Wow.

[Chris]

Who would have thought?

[Ronnie]

Who would have thought?

[Chris]

So Jason's like, the weirdest thing is that I've ever gotten is that, by the way, the. With only fans, the weird things happen. People make weird requests. The weirdest thing is that someone wanted me to use the bathroom and go and record that, and I was like, hell, no. And so, like, that's crazy.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And they were, like, just talking about these weird requests. And then Jason goes, yeah, I had this guy with a fetish. He literally wanted me to pretend that I was a peanut and I was being swallowed. And I did that for, like, $1500. Like, pretend you're a peanut and being swallowed. So I was, like, greatly on the couch. I'm being swallowed. Ow.

[Ronnie]

Ow. Who.

[Chris]

Who did that? Who trolled? Poor Jason. Because, you know, that was not a real record requests.

[Ronnie]

Ken's at home with a Monica wearing a monocle doing a helicopter on his wiener.

[Chris]

I'm gonna knock this peanut spark out.

[Ronnie]

Goodbye, peanut. Who is looking for peanut being swallowed? Porn. Come on. We're all watching too much porn. Just stop. Stop watching porn.

[Chris]

So Andre's like, I got a peanut. Suck of my trachea. Stuck porn. No.

[Ronnie]

Austin would be like, okay, pretend you're a peanut. You're. You're about to get swallowed, but then you get chewed up and spit all over people's faces.

[Chris]

Yeah, the crumbs are stuck in the washing machine.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then Audrey's like, come on, guys. I mean, they started doing this so they could stop eating cat food, darling. I mean, there are other ways. And Jason goes, yeah. I mean, look at Kim Kardashian.

[Chris]

Yeah, tuna. And Chris would always joke that the tuna smelled like cat food. And Andy was like, okay, we're gonna

[Ronnie]

leave it at that.

[Chris]

When we come back, I will give a full report on that video and tell you what I found about peanut finishes. Okay. By the way, wouldn't it be so funny if someone wrote in, like, a penis is, like. Like, hey, pretend like your. Your penis being swallowed, if you know what I mean. But they had a typo and wrote in peanut because they were narrating through, siri, show me your peanut.

[Ronnie]

They still had to pay. It was delivered, like, damn. Damn it.

[Chris]

I just think the idea of Jason, like, on a bed, like, ball, like, balled up like a peanut is so funny. Like, oh, yeah.

[Ronnie]

Just doing it so seriously and being like, well, look at Kim Kardashian. You know, that's what you got to do to really get your place in Calabasas being swallowed. So that's the final things. What do we all learn? Venus is so glad he can have friendships with guys now. And, um, Angelica, you know, now she has like a female. She wants a female centric group that's not afraid to embarrass some of these guys because men could be trifling to women, Andy. And we need to come together. Okay.

[Chris]

Yeah. And basically Audrey is like, and if the social media can stop from here on out, we can start with that as a good loyalty test, that we can go from there.

[Ronnie]

All right.

[Chris]

And Jason, hopefully by this point, you finally learned the menu. Tell me something else from the goat cheese balls. And he's like, yeah, something else on the menu.

[Ronnie]

He goes, exactly. You finally read the menu.

[Chris]

Yeah, precisely. So then Andy's like, sorry, someone tried to call me on my laptop. Just like went into like a tizzy, you know, because like, now they like the phone. Like, they automatically send his laptop, even with do not disturb. And I'm like, who is calling me during. Like, I was more like, I was like, I hope I did not accidentally suddenly answer this phone call that I can't hear. And so while they're hearing me talking about peanut fetish porn, peanut swallowing. Hi, this is your bank calling. Do you ever watch peanut fetish porn?

[Ronnie]

So now they're talking. You know, Marcus secretly ships Shane and Natalie and then Natalie says, maybe, but you know, if. If he wants it, then he can be vulnerable. And then Lisa gives a monologue. She's like, well, I would hope to see growth. I think being on a reality show is like looking in a very large mirror. And I have to say, godamn it, I'm gorgeous.

[Chris]

Well, everyone, we're going to make one final toast. Here's a non alcoholic mojito for. For Shane. And look, let's toast. And then it ends with that guy who, like, basically photobombed them at the Belmont. They have him lurking in the back of the set and everyone's like, oh, my God, that's like hilarious. Do you know you look just like Guy from that. From when you were like, from the Belmont. That's like crazy.

[Ronnie]

Jason's like, that's the old guy. That's the old guy. Tell him about your thong, bro.

[Chris]

And that brings an end to the Vanderpump Rules reboot. I thought they did a swell job with it. It was very fun. Yeah, Good casting, good vibes. And I hope people who were maybe Resistant. Give it a shot.

[Ronnie]

Thanks, everybody, so much for being with us this season. Great times. I think they're getting another season. I don't think it's official yet, but I think they are. So we'll see you next year. Kids. Crazy kids. Okay, everybody else will talk to you next time. Bye.

[Chris]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Chris]

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