#3257 Southern Charm S11E15: The Party of DeCraigulation

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3257

Southern Charm S11E15: “The Party of DeCraigulation”

Release Date: March 12, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

Ben and Ronnie dive into the Southern Charm Season 11 finale, “Carolina Dazed,” where alliances and relationships hit breaking points during a dramatic cast trip to Mexico and Patricia’s Carolina Day party. With signature wit, they praise and drag all things Bravo, focusing intensely on Craig’s mounting drama with his friends (especially Austin, Charlie, and Sally), and the recurring cycles of accountability avoidance and emotional manipulation that have defined this season.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

Mexico Debrief: Dinner Drama & Craig’s Isolation (03:48–11:27)

• Ronnie and Ben recap the dinner aftermath of the group’s sweat lodge “healing,” noting that only Craig failed to learn anything (“He only stayed for like, five minutes.” – Ronnie, 04:06).
• The group attempts to resolve the tension between Craig and Austin, who express their drifting friendship:
  • Austin: “We were on the same path for the longest fucking time, but people just, like, grow…Or at least I stay still and other people grow.” (06:27)
  • Craig: “To me, my [friend]ship never changed.” (07:33)
• The hosts mock “tough cookie to crack,” dissecting the malapropism (“Is that the expression?” – Ben, 08:45), and riff on how nothing real is resolved, because “they’re trying so hard because really not that much has happened this season.” (A, 06:44)

Calls for Accountability & Codependency Patterns (16:07–22:21)

• The hosts break down Craig’s “apologies,” noting his lack of remorse and manipulative charm.
• Sally buys his half-hearted apology, causing Ben to point out:
  • “He has this way of making amends that I’ve never seen before. I’m like, did he make amends? Because maybe that’s why you didn’t see it before. Because he’s not making amends.” (Ben, 19:57)
• Discussion of the “ick” cycle where cast members realize Craig’s true patterns only after being burned, and how Sally seems unable or unwilling to break the cycle.

Back in Charleston: New Beginnings & Stale Cycles (23:28–29:46)

• Scenes shift to Madison and Brett bringing baby Teddy home—hosts note its sweetness and contrast it with the surrounding mess.
• Charlie calls her mother for advice, who hilariously pressures her to be “decent” and competitive. Denise, her mom, encourages her to hold Craig accountable (“You want to be famous, right? If you’re not going to have a child, at least be famous, honey.” – Denise, 27:17).
• The hosts point out the futility: “Charlie, as we’ve all seen, will be the perfect person to hold Craig Conover accountable… despite Shep and Austin basically yelling at Craig every single season.” (Ben, 27:57)

Carolina Day Party: Fashion, Feuds, and Facades (29:49–46:49)

• Party Fashion Commentary: Patricia’s champagne jacket, Corey’s over-the-top necklaces, and Shep’s age-appropriate date—Ben and Ronnie delight in the outlandish sartorial choices.
• Old Grievances in a New Setting: Craig and Corey talk about Charlie ghosting Craig (“If somebody’s talking to you every day and suddenly stops talking to you after you act like a jackass—yeah, something happened.” – Ronnie, 35:46).
• Craig Publicly Undermines Charlie: Craig, feeling rejected, exposes to Sally and others how close he and Charlie were: “We would FaceTime for, like, hours every night… I was gonna pick her up from the airport.” (Craig, 41:02)
• Friendship Betrayal Theme: The hosts point out how Sally takes offense only now, despite herself crossing friendship lines in the past (“You don’t get to just come in and call dibs on everybody. I mean, she’s ridiculous.” – Ronnie, 43:13).

Love Triangles, Emotional Manipulation, and the Big Confrontations (55:16–66:49)

• Charlie and Craig Finally Talk:
  • Charlie stands up for herself, saying her “switch flipped in Mexico” and that she only wants friendship now.
  • Craig claims vulnerability but then brags, “I would have picked you over my ex,” which Ben calls out as “pure manipulation.” (59:18)
• Sally and Charlie: The Big Reckoning:
  • Sally confronts Charlie about hiding her closeness with Craig.
  • Charlie, at Leva’s prompting, admits, “I was completely selfish in my decision…and I’m actually incredibly sorry.” (70:03)
  • Ben and Ronnie agree the apology is proper, but note, “You want an apology but it came after you dumped Craig, so it makes it less potent, but it was still a good apology.” (Ronnie, 70:13)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Craig (on his dynamic with Austin):
  • “I love Austin and I think he loves me, but, like, we need to be strangers again… our old friendship needs to be put to bed.” (Craig, 10:34)
• Ben (on Sally’s willingness to forgive):
  • “He turns on his charm and a smile, but you just want to make amends with him because you’re terrified—it’s a pretty classic and awful behavior.” (20:01)
• Ronnie (on poking the bear analogy):
  • “You keep poking the bear…like, who wants to hang out with a bear? Nobody! I don’t want to be friends with a bear.” (17:57)
• Ben (on Craig’s avoidance):
  • “He’s villainizing whatever woman it doesn’t work out with. That’s his go-to. So gross.” (46:07)
• Quipping about cycle of shifting cast sympathies:
  • “Every time there’s a new season, I find that my allegiances change… it’s what they’re doing to us. They manipulate us.” (Ronnie/Ben, 67:28–68:14)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Craig & Austin Dinner Showdown: 03:03 – 11:27
• Craig’s Manipulative Apology to Sally: 19:01 – 21:45
• Accountability and Cycle of Enabling Craig: 21:46 – 22:49
• Charleston Return (Madison, Brett, and Baby): 23:28 – 25:25
• Charlie’s Call with Her Mom: 25:25 – 27:51
• Carolina Day Party Arrival & Fashion: 29:49 – 36:44
• Craig’s “Revenge” on Sally/Charlie: 40:06 – 46:49
• Charlie & Craig One-on-One: 54:46 – 59:43
• Sally & Charlie Confrontation/Apology: 60:36 – 70:13
• Craig & Austin Final Showdown: 71:07 – 73:15
• Austin & Sally’s “Romantic” Goodbye: 74:19 – 77:42
• Season Wrap Up & Reunion Teaser: 77:42 – 78:23

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Tone & Language

Ben and Ronnie wield their usual snark, Bravo-insider knowledge, and rapid-fire banter. The episode is irreverent and satirical, heavy on sarcasm and pop-culture riffs, with choice analogies (“dead air with dead brain,” “cookie cult,” “tough cookie to crack” malaphors) and many callbacks to previous Bravo drama cycles.

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Conclusion & Takeaways

• Finale Mood: Season 11 ends less with explosive drama and more with a sense of exhausted cycles—especially as Craig’s manipulations, the lack of real growth, and faux accountability once again sour friendships and romantic entanglements.
• Cycle of Enablement: The cast (and viewers) are caught in perpetual reset, flipping allegiances to whichever party is momentarily less terrible as each character fails to truly learn or change.
• Next Up: Heavy hints that the reunion will see Craig in the hot seat, with Ben and Ronnie eager for the comeback of “anti-Craig energy.”

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For Listeners New and Old

If you missed the episode, this recap covers all major plot turns, feuds, and the larger running jokes. True to Watch What Crappens style, you’ll get the whole story—plus more meta-commentary, inside jokes, and Bravo shade than could ever fit onscreen.

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Selected Quotes with Timestamps

• Ben, on the “tough cookie to crack” idiom:
  “I’m sort of getting hung up on Austin saying that Craig is a tough cookie to crack. Because I was like, is that the expression?” (08:45)

• Ronnie, on casting blame:
  “He just told you what you said is completely invalid. And Craig’s like, ‘I love that we’re having this convo. And, like, whatever part, like, you’ll have me in your life…I’m there for.’ Unless it’s…something to do with one of your businesses, which you don’t have, you fucking loser.” (08:23)

• Sally on forgiving Craig:
  “He has this way of making amends that I’ve never seen before.” (19:57)
  Ben retorts: “Did he make amends?… He’s not making amends.”

• Charlie’s apology to Sally:
  “I knew deep down…how you were feeling, and instead, I chose to entertain a guy that you thought you might actually be interested in. And I’m actually incredibly sorry.” (70:03)

• Austin on Craig (final confrontation):
  “You say mean and nasty things to everyone who rub you the wrong way…You can’t take this back, Craig.” (71:07)

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Next up: Stay tuned for the Southern Charm Reunion and more Watch What Crappens shadiness!

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Transcript

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[A]

Well, hello. Welcome to watch what crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

[B]

Hello, Ronnie. How are you?

[A]

Are you. I'm good. I'm good. South by Southwest is this weekend, so we're getting ready to party. But before we do, got some more rec to get done. Get did it. We've got Southern charm today. In the meantime, if you want video recaps or you want bonus episodes, this week was a Top Chef cast breakdown. Or if you want a newsletter, well, that's free. It's like a blog about the week in Bravo. Or if you want Discord community, or if you want something else, ad free list.

[B]

Be my lover.

[A]

You want to be my love? You're gonna have to be my friend. Go to Patreon, okay? That's where you get that. Patreon.com watchwallcrapons and now it's time for Southern Charm. Season 11, episode 15, Carolina Dazed. Mmm. What a scrumptious season finale.

[B]

Yes, the big, tremendous, exciting season finale. It was so impactful that I actually, now that I think about it, I'm realizing I had a dream about it, and that's really scary. But, yeah, Southern charm. Am I right? It gets into your head. Yeah.

[A]

What an episode. Well, the tides are finally turning on Craig, it looks like, because we saw the preview for the reunion. And Craig's like, everyone's mean to me. I'm leaving. I don't even know if I'm coming back. Oh, please. Those pillows ain't going to sell themselves. Get your ass back over here and get your square sewn.

[B]

So, yeah, that's exactly right. The moment he leaves the show is the moment that sewing down south goes south. So he will have to report for duty starting next season.

[A]

Once again, that's the minute that Jerry dumps you and gives Sally a chicken raising business.

[B]

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. The. And what a joy that would be for us and the chickens. It's the moment trop hop enters the big leagues.

[A]

Oh, she'll be just as good as raising chickens as you are at sewing your pillows. So here we go. Previously this season. Guys, who cares? So it's the. Everyone's still in Mexico having dinner after their sweat lodge spiritual healing session, where everybody learned something except Craig, because he only stayed for, like, five minutes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they're having dinner, and Shep's like, sally, would you like to say something? She's like, no, I just want to sit on this side and mix it up a little bit. So I'm gonna sit next to Craig,

[B]

who you mix it up. So Shep is like, gosh, is anyone else? Is anyone else secretly in love with our shaman? And also what we know. Well, we know you are hot. But he was like, yeah, she was hot.

[A]

I was like, whoa, Whoa.

[B]

She was like, wow. She was so cool and so insightful. Maybe get her move to. Get her to move to Sullivan's.

[A]

Yeah. Molly's like, well, now that you've got your new house, it's a home. I love Molly's stink eye that she gives. Molly always looks like she's smelling a fart. He's just got that look on her face, and I love that about her. She's like, yeah, she's hot.

[B]

Yeah, well, she's probably still like, I can't believe I just sat in a sweat lodge. Oh, no, she didn't go to the sweat lodge. I think she got a massage. She's probably like, e, I can't believe all these people just went to a sweat lodge.

[A]

And Sally is like, I'll sweat it out. All my negative energy today. Any lie. Anybody? Like, someone with no negative energy? Hey, boys. Chef's like, well, we're out. We're all so nice to each other for the first time. Look, now, I know you all heard about Austin's birthday. No one else is going to start Drama. So I guess I'm going to have to. Wow, what a nice spiritual dinner. Let's talk about Craig and Austin fighting at that birthday dinner. Okay. A lot of contentious things were said, and I wanted you to come here, you know, to resolve it and come to a beautiful conclusion after tonight especially, you know.

[B]

Oh, well, hopefully there's no acrimony and, you know, you guys can just live your lives and. And be friendly, because that has always worked traditionally with YouTube. No. Yeah, because life is good. Especially when you go to Cuba. I speak Spanish now. So Austin's like, look, I think that's the way it has to be. Like Craig again. Like, we were on the same path for the longest fucking time, but people just, like, grow in their respective lives. Or at least I stay still and other people grow. And I think that it, like, affected me more than. Than Craig, right? Because, like, Craig was like, I'm in a relationship now. And I'm like, what about me, dude? Like, my cat dad now, you know? And Craig and I were just, like, attached to hip for, like, so fucking long. I just think it's like, hit me really hard.

[A]

And this is just. They're trying so hard because really not that much has happened this season. And they're at the season finale and they've come all to Mexico, and it's like, is anybody gonna fight anybody?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So Whitney and Shep try to bring it forward, and Austin gives it a good go, but still nothing's happening. So Shep's like, oh, Craig, you're on this show. You still get paid, so would you like to say anything? And he's like, well, like, sometimes, like, thoughts that you have in your head, you just, like, assume that people understand. But, sorry, this is really hard. What are we fighting about again, line?

[B]

Well, I definitely do not understand a single thing that's in your head ever. And Craig's like, I know, but. Because, like, I. I'm just saying, like, to me, my opinion. Or like, reference ship never changed.

[A]

Our relationship never changed. Sorry, I missed typo.

[B]

I know. But the thing is this. With Craig, I can imagine Craig saying our reference ship, like, yeah. Which is like the relationship of their references. Right? Like, our reference ship just never change. But I respect that you feel that it's different.

[A]

So. Yeah, I've always hated you. I've always low key hated you. Lost it. Nothing has changed. He's like, but it is different. And that's okay. That is okay. You know, Craig is a tough cookie to crack now. Why would you want to crack a cookie so hard cookie. I don't know. Cracking cookies. But when you get some sort of remorse from Craig, it's huge win. Was that remorse?

[B]

Was it What?

[A]

Are you projecting remorse onto Craig? There is no remorse. He just told you what you said is completely invalid. And Craig's like, well, I love that we're having this combo. And, like, whatever part, like, you'll have me in your life, like, I'm there for. Unless it's, like, something I don't want to do or something to do with one of your businesses, which you don't have, you fucking loser.

[B]

I'm sorry. I'm sort of getting hung up on Austin saying that Craig is a tough cookie to crack. Because I was like, is that the expression?

[A]

Who's trying to crack cookies? Like, you show me where you were last Friday night, you little thin mint. You better tell me right now. I know you did it.

[B]

Like, what is Austin talking about? Is this. This? Is he just, like, putting a cookie on the table and just trying to, like, smash it or something with his fist? What is he doing?

[A]

You're calling yourself an oatmeal, but I know there's some peanut butter and, yeah, I can taste it. What am I, an idiot? Tell me the truth, Cookie.

[B]

There's an extra ingredient in this cookie, and I don't know what it is, but I swear to God I'm gonna crack it. Is it a Brazil nut? No. Is it a cranberry?

[A]

No. Brown sugar? White sugar, Chocolate chip, walnut, flour? You've got 10 seconds left. You can't crack the cookie coat. It was butter. Get out of here.

[B]

The judge's pose. You got 10 seconds left.

[A]

What kind of cookie cult is this? Never heard of such a thing.

[B]

I'm going to draw in my manifestation journal now. Tough cookie to crack, according to Google, is a male, for which I didn't even know there was such a thing as a malafore.

[A]

Is that a malformed metaphor?

[B]

Yeah. It has nothing to do with Cynthia Bailey's sister, Mal. Hi, I'm mal. A male 4 is a mashup of two different idioms that come. So in this case, it combines tough cookie and a tough nut to crack.

[A]

So, oddly enough, it sounds like a cookie I know.

[B]

What if you make a cookie with nuts that are hard to crack on the inside?

[A]

So Craig tells us, I love Austin, and I think he loves me, but, like, we need to be strangers again, and then, you know, like, our old friendship needs to be put to bed and we need to start over for those, you know, predisposed Notions to get out the door.

[B]

Pre. Predispose.

[A]

Are you trying.

[B]

Your notion is predisposed to alcoholism. We're gonna have to get rid of it.

[A]

Craig and Austin both try to shep talk, and Shep can barely do it. Shep mispronounces half of the big words he uses, so.

[B]

Guys, just stop. Well, I don't want to have any preconceived notions about them, but I would have to agree with you. And I say this is someone who.

[A]

Stop trying to vilify my accomplishments. Bravo English. There should be a bravo dictionary.

[B]

I know, but you know what? To be fair, how many times do we say just ridiculous things on this?

[A]

We're idiots too.

[B]

I mean, how many times we're. Because, like, you know, we're like. No dead air. No dead air. So, like, in the rush to fill up space, the amount of metaphors I misuse is just, like, mortifying.

[A]

We fill a lot of dead air with dead brain. So we know it. We know that we're hypocrites. Okay, why do I look purple? Look at me. I look like I'm dying. Like, I look like I'm suffocating. Look at me.

[B]

What is that cloud hanging over you? I don't.

[A]

I don't know, but I have my lights on. I have no idea why I'm so purple.

[B]

I feel like I'm very bright today. I just. Shining on my face.

[A]

Oh, maybe I need to get closer to the light.

[B]

Look, I just have a light. I have a light. I have a light shining down on me.

[A]

Gotta look good now.

[B]

Little my loom cube lumecube.

[A]

I call it a lumicube, but whatever. That's just my predisposed notion. Okay, keep talking. I'm gonna adjust my lights. Literally nothing happened in this episode, so I'm gonna.

[B]

Lighting. Lighting is a tough cookie to crack. While you fix your lighting, I'll move on.

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[A]

You guys just don't like each other. You don't like each other, and that's okay, you know, it's over.

[B]

It's over.

[A]

It's done.

[B]

The friendship is done.

[A]

It's done.

[B]

So they're all happy, and then they start eating food. And Rodrigo's like, so I've got to ask you, this, girlfriend, what happened last night, you know, in that van that was. See, I don't even know enough gay slang to finish this. This is why we don't. This is why we're not invited to Glad Media Awards. It was so funny. I was looking at all these pictures, like, everyone was like, at the GLAAD Media Awards, like, Meredith Marks and that and this podcast and that podcast. I. Does GLAAD know that we are two gay men who host a podcast? Like, we are gay people. Why aren't we ever invited to Glad stuff? And then I'm sitting here being like, I don't even know the gay slang to use to make fun of Rodrigo right now.

[A]

So Rodrigo does bring this up, but it's because Craig is like, yeah, you know, Austin, we've got work to do, but we're gonna. You know, I hope you guys enjoyed my peaceful. My peaceful soliloquy or whatever. And Vanita's like, wow, that's the calmest discussion I've seen in weeks. And he goes, yeah, but generally that's how I treat people. So. Okay, anyway, so Rodrigo's like, huh? Everyone's looking at him like, oh, yeah, right, Craig? So Rodrigo's like, okay, so what happened last night, then? And he says, well, a lot of times it feels like people get involved in my business, and sometimes I can't process it as well as I could. But, I mean, it's not that big of a deal when people are in your business. It's just. It's a trigger. Yeah. I'm gonna use some more pop psychology. TikTok words chat.

[B]

GPT. Like, yes. No, Sally was not in her business. She just said, oh, my God, your bangs are in your fe. Face. He say, shut the up. Like, he. All she did was talk about your bangs. And also, like, Craig's whole thing. His defense here and throughout the rest of the episode is that, like, he's fine. Just have people start up with him. So, like, his. His, you know, verbally violent reaction is totally justified because it's people who are messing with him.

[A]

Yeah. I see people commenting a lot like, well, I don't blame Craig because, you know, you keep poking the bear. You keep poking the bear. You keep poking the bear. I see the comment poking the bear all the time. You know what that comment means? That, like, you're a bear. Like, who wants to hang out with a bear? Nobody. I don't want to be friends with a bear. That you say one thing wrong and the bear bites your damn head off. Like, I don't want to be friends with the bear.

[B]

Right. Well, it's this. It's the same reason why it's problematic if someone is, like, assaulted and you say, well, they had it coming, or she shouldn't have dressed like that or something like that. The implication is that the attacker doesn't have to actually change their bad behavior. It's up to everyone to accommodate that behavior. If you don't accommodate correctly, well, you're like, you're at fault. And we really, like, we can't take any action on the other person. So it's like, no, it's the bad behavior that should be getting the reprimand, not the people having, you know, like. Like asking simple questions or whatever.

[A]

I'm sorry. You're really going off a lot on assault right now, and I don't think you heard that Greg was triggered.

[B]

Craig was triggered. I apologize. That's.

[A]

That's a bad thing.

[B]

So allowed to get annoyed at people. You're allowed to get annoyed if someone's, like, overstepping and being nosy. But you also, like, like, you also doesn't mean you have a right to have any sort of reaction you want. You still have to, like, behave like an adult and like a civilized member of society and not like a total rabid lunatic in Tommy Bahama.

[A]

Yeah, Tommy Bahama. So Sally's like, but I was so sad last night, Craig. And he's like, I'm sorry, but you should have come to my door and brought me a coffee this morning and apologized. He's like, I'm sorry, but you called me a loser. But I don't think that I would take that back in a heartbeat if I could. I'm gonna say that line a few more times this episode.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which doesn't give the impression that I got it from Chat G. But therapy.

[B]

Yeah, I'll say that line. And I'm also only Going to say that line. When I'm confronted with my bad behavior, I won't actually volunteer it, even though I'm aware of my bad behavior. So Sally's like, you know, he has this way of making amends that I've never seen before. I'm like, did he make amends? Because maybe that's why you didn't see it before. Because he's not making amends. He's just responding to you to get you to be quiet. No, he turns on his charm and a smile. But like. Like all you just kind of want. Just one. You just want to make amends with him because you just don't want to happen again because you're so terrified. Like, I like this alley saying, I've just never seen someone make amends like that. You mean someone's smiling to charm you, but also, like, terrifying you to do it again? I think that's like a pretty classic and awful behavior in. In people and certain people, you know, and you should stay away from them.

[A]

Well, it's a really long way of saying, like, he's me, but he's so cute. Yeah, you just forgive him every time. So she says thank you. He's like, what? I said thank you. Well, I mean, I think if we talked more, it would be good. Yeah.

[B]

What does that.

[A]

Maybe. What does that mean? Instead of you going behind her back the minute she tells you that she likes you and telling everybody that she's a psychopath, and then, you know, screaming in her face when she mentioned that your bangs or in your face.

[B]

The only person who stopped the talking was you, Craig. You guys used to talk, and you're the one who started acting crazy.

[A]

So Charlie's like. I mean, it is mind boggling to me that Sally is buying this apology because it just doesn't feel like it's enough.

[B]

And of course. And she's right. Because now Sally. Sally, who's been the most like Craig. Craig's not right. I'm done with great. I'm over Craig. He treats people wrong now. Like, the moment that he smiles at her, she's just like, oh, okay, that's true.

[A]

But it's also Charlie, who was the exact same way when this was all happening to other people and Charlie was still liking Craig. Now that Charlie has gotten the ick bike, it's like he has this spell. And once the spell is broken and you've been icked out, then you see him for who he truly is. We mentioned this on a recap yesterday, and that's exactly what happens. It's like he screamed in people's faces before, and Charlie didn't care. But then she got the ick, and now she's like, ooh, gross. Why is she forgiving him? Well, you just did it, and then Sally just did it when Vanita was saying it to her. You know, it's like a.

[B]

Right. It's the cycle this year. But the thing is that, like, I feel like Charlie and probably you could argue Vanita got the ick on Craig. They saw him for who he is, and like, ugh, this is unacceptable. But then Sally gets the ick, but she still goes back, and she's still like, oh, he's still so cute. I'm like, where is your ick fueled disdain? You've abandoned it like that. This is sad for you, actually. Like, you should actually be grossed out by everything he does now.

[A]

Well, I think Sally's more also conscious of wanting to be on the show.

[B]

Well. And also having male approval.

[A]

Yes. So, yes, I think that matters. So they're gonna go back to the hotel now, and Craig's like, a perfect end to a perfect day. Like, okay, so they load into the vans, and Sally and Charlie get in with Craig, and Austin's like, oh, my God. Those girls immediately go into his van. That's like, funny to me. They're like, oh, my God, ptsd. I'm never gonna ride in another van with Craig. I was like, okay, yeah, right. I'm going to jump right in the van with. With Craig then.

[B]

He's right, by the way. That's a totally valid observation. And it just goes to show, you know, like, all this stuff is that they're saying. But Vanita holds her ground, and she's in the Austin van. So now we're back in Charleston, and it says, like, on screen, back in Charleston, four days later, and Madison and Brett are heading home with Teddy. Little sweet Teddy, the baby Teddy. So they go, they have the baby, and they're in their car. And Teddy was in the hospital in the NICU for two weeks because she came in six weeks early. So now she's able to, like, hold Teddy and bring her home. And it's, like, very sweet and cute and lovely.

[A]

Yeah. And so it's first car ride, and Madison's like, make sure you drive good. Oh, she just looks so cute. You ever think you could. That's something so much. And he's like, yeah, you. Oh, I'm so cute. What a nice, boring, supportive man.

[B]

I know, right? And then Brett's like, are you ready for Irish twins.

[A]

She's like, please.

[B]

So they get home and what are Irish twins? That's when you have a bit like two babies when they're like, the same calendar year.

[A]

No, I thought it was like, babies who aren't twins. But they're just so drunk that they think they're twins. They're like, oh, hello. Look at you. You're in my bed now. I didn't know if I was seeing double or if it's another me. It's another me.

[B]

So basically, they get home and Hudson holds the baby. It's actually very sweet. Hudson's holding this baby, and Madison starts to cry. It's like a really lovely scene. And she's like, hudson held him, Teddy. Like this. It's like, my two babies. The only thing that would be better for souls. Also holding a little corn cob and, you know, naming her after my late father. It's like, Ted is the missing piece of my family, you know? I hope I'm not pregnant again, because I only cry when I'm pregnant. Oh, my God. I'm such a Beta right now.

[A]

So now Charlie is unpacking, and she calls her mom, and her mom's like, what are you up to? How's that vacation? Did you please, any man, Please tell me.

[B]

Please tell me. Were you decent? Okay. She's like, not while. Mom. I'm just, like, unpacking right now. But it was good. I went surfing. Did you say upright? Did you stay upright? You know, your sister can stand upright on surfboard. Can you do it? You can't quite do it, can you?

[A]

I hope you it. I hope you stood up, but not longer than any of the men, okay? It's like, no, Mom. God.

[B]

Did any of the men see you fall over on the surfboard? That's really embarrassing for you. I would hate for that to happen to you, sweetheart.

[A]

So she's like, well, I mean, it was fun, but hold on, let me make 20 faces. Well, I mean, Craig and Sally kind of got into it. I mean, it wasn't even an argument. He just kind of, like, went off on her.

[B]

She's like, oh, was there a little

[A]

bit of alcohol involved? You know how boys are. Was he drinking a little Southern comfort?

[B]

Boys will be boys.

[A]

Boys will be boys.

[B]

Boys will be boys. Well, for sure. And. But I've been, you know, absolutely blackout drunk before. I've never talked to someone that will. Normally, when I get blackout drunk, I just give that face, you know, that really sad emoji face.

[A]

Like, I know the face, honey. The sack Boy face. We all know it in this family. Honey, please stop making that face. That face isn't decent.

[B]

Oh, honey, stop doing Charlie Brown crying over a baseball he missed.

[A]

Why are you looking like Snoopy's being strangled? Stop it.

[B]

Well, mom, it was a big turn off for me, and I haven't really spoke to him since Mexico, and he called me yesterday. Oh, did you answer it? Did you answer it in a decent way, honey? She's like, no, I didn't. But you know he's the star of the show, right? You want to be famous, right? If you're not going to have a child, at least be famous, honey.

[A]

Yeah. And so we see that Craig was like, hey, I don't know if you saw that. Patricia's having a Carolina Day party. She's like, yeah, I'm going to go with my friend. So Denise is like, you can talk at the party. Well, listen, y' all need to have a conversation and hold him accountable. You hold him accountable. We all need to be held accountable. We also need our hands held at night. So forgive him. Forgive me. Poor lonely person. Listen, you want to be sitting in. Look at that couch next to you. Look how empty it is. Think about how much better you'd feel.

[B]

There was a baby there.

[A]

There could be a baby there. A baby with a free pillow.

[B]

And she's basically like, well, mom, the other people in my friend group have known him a lot longer, but no one else really like holding him accountable because they don't feel like he'll be receptive to it. I'm like, yes. Charlie, as we've all seen, will be the perfect person to hold Craig Conover accountable. Despite, like, Shep and Austin basically yelling at Craig every single season about the things he does wrong. It's going to be Charlie who gets through to him.

[A]

Well, yeah, she's going to make Craig see the light.

[B]

Yeah, the decent lot.

[A]

The mom's like, well, you know what? Maybe it's like Patty. Patti LaBelle says, no, he needs a new attitude. That's what he needs.

[B]

Mom, I don't even know who that is. Why does a pie lady have a song? So now it's one hour before the Carolina Day party, and everyone's getting ready, and Patricia arrives with Eddie and Ryan. Ryan makes his, I think, his first appearance of the season after his attempt at being a friend of last year. Yeah.

[A]

Now he's back to just, you know, arm candy.

[B]

Gay.

[A]

Yeah. And Patricia comes in because she's throwing this party, and so she's wearing, like, a champagne dress. Like with champagne, not dress, but jacket. Like, with champagne bottles all over it. And on one side, the champagne bottles are right side up, but the other side, they're all, like, turned over. And it just looks like she's being, like, attacked. Like, she's walking through the streets, and people are like, shame, shame. And just throwing bottles at her, like, spilling all over her or something. It's a disgraceful, disgraceful lit for Carolina's Day.

[B]

So it's the usual thing. It's the season finale party, is in an old house with wooden floors and a wrought iron gate outside. That's how these seasons always end.

[A]

It's like the same place. Is it the same place? It looks like it's the same place every season finale. They even have those little rooms they go off into on the side where they yell at each other.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's the same place.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's got to be. Or maybe this is just a standard place in Charleston. But it always feels like they're in the same rickety old event space with, like, a little patch of garden in the front and a wrought iron gate. Because I feel like that wrought iron gate has been in the background of so many famous season finale scenes. Like, I'll always remember Catherine and Ashley having a fight outside that gate. Was it season five where they had the big showdown and everyone's, like, furious? I just feel like. Like, that iron gate was, like, a character in that scene. It was just standing there like, ladies, if this gets too much more. He did. I'm gonna have to step in.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of them. Yeah, a lot of the season finales and the one where Ryan was. Who was. Who's Ryan fighting with in last year's season finale in that he was fighting

[B]

with jt, there was an issue because Ryan had. A barber had made, like, a racially insensitive joke. No, JT's JT said that, like, Ryan's barber had made a racially insensitive joke or something like that. And then they're like, ryan, how could you still go to this barber? Wasn't that the situation?

[A]

Oh, gosh. It was, like, a whole decade ago.

[B]

Yeah. And they were like. They sat Ryan down and they, like, were all in this one room, but people kept coming into it, and Ryan was trying to, like, defend himself. And he's like, no, I spoke to the barber, and he said he absolutely didn't do that. And you shouldn't listen to JT about this sort of stuff because it was an issue with Vanita. But then he. People Just kept on like, madison's in there, and then Leva, then Patricia, and just everyone got pouring into the room. Yeah. I don't know why I remember it so vividly all of a sudden.

[A]

Okay, so Carolina Day commemorates the defeat at British Sullivan's island in 1776, but basically it's an excuse for us to use Randy as a pinata, have people beat him with bass with baseball bat. All right, y', all, I gave Randy some Pez today. Just go out there and hit him until it falls out.

[B]

Don't worry if you make him bleed. He can't call 911 on account of the fact that he put his phone in the air fryer this morning.

[A]

Patricia, you look lovely. She's like, oh, thank you. You look handsome as always. Your mouth is still moving. Are you saying something? I'm trying to read your lips.

[B]

No.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

And then Eddie, who's one of the two gays, is like, austin, you need a pin for your jacket. I know, I know. It keeps falling. My God. My. My collar's awful. God. I may have to put it down a little bit farther. Maybe like that. I don't know. Velvet. Why am I wearing velvet? This heat.

[A]

I've never. Never seen velvet in summer. Don't know why you do that. He's like, well, yeah, we shouldn't have worn velvet. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. But I am wearing the tie that Craig gave me. It's made out of feathers.

[B]

God, sometimes you forget you're so busy taking care of your cats when you're a cat. Dad, do you wear velvet in the summer? By accident? Yeah.

[A]

So Charlie comes, and Rodrigo and Tyler come. Everybody's coming, you know? And Rodrigo's like, I'm sorry, girlfriend, but I just ate a crab cake. Whoa. She's like, yeah, I just chugged champagne, so I'm probably gonna burp in your ear. Miss you. Haven't seen you since Mexico. So everyone's like, oh, my God, you look so nice. You look so nice. No, you look so nice. No, you look so nice. And then Craig is driving with Cory to the party. Cory, you do not look nice. What is Corey. What is he even wearing?

[B]

Oh, my God. Corey is in the Colton School of trying to serve a Luke, and you're just not a Luke person. And, you know, Corey, I thought was sort of like, I've always really couldn't. I've never been able to stand Corey. But I think, like, when we first met him on Winterhouse, he was very fratty, and he had like, a baseball cap, and he was like this Jack guy, whatever. And like, he had that, like, hot bro energy, but now he's trying to be like, Benson Boonie or whatever. His hair. He's grown out his hair in this weird direction that is not flattering. But he's also. He's doing a blazer, and he's. The chest area. He's filling in the negative space on his chest with not pearl necklaces like Colton, but basically a different type of. Type of necklace. It's like a series of necklaces. And it's just. He's just serving way too much look for basically who is, what his Persona is and also, like, what this show is.

[A]

It just like, parachute pants. And he got rid of the pearl necklaces because that, like, Harry. Harry Styles has been off for the past year. I don't know if anybody knows, but, like, he's just making a comeback. So I think when they were shooting this, he was like, I can't wear Harry. He's on break. I'll go Benson Boone.

[B]

Yeah. But some Colton in the middle with the pearls. Like, it wasn't pearls, but, like, no, it's like the strands of necklaces down your chest.

[A]

Yeah. He's very Timu coated. So he got. So they're talking, and Craig's like, let's get primed and ready with kissing spray. It has 24 karat gold particles in the mouth spray course.

[B]

Like, tell a girl, I'm gonna put some gold in your mouth tonight.

[A]

Better than the source she's expecting, I'm sure. And so Craig's like, wow, this tastes good. I don't know where they got the gold. That's edible, though. Oh, Craig here. Your Martha Stewart empire is really just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Taking off. Can't wait for you to be on Top Chef as a guest judge this season. I know, seriously, personally, he's never heard of edible gold.

[B]

You can learn more about that. And Corey's like, well, I haven't done that since middle school. I don't know what he's talking about. But Craig's like, so I thought I would be taking Charlie to the event tonight, but, like, I don't know what's going on. It's like, what? Have you even actually talked to her since Mexico? It's like, no. We acted like things were the same, whereas, like, instead of talking every day, it was like, every other day. Oh.

[A]

So he's like, yeah, there's been a change of energy. And, like, it's just because of a misunderstanding. Like, I mean, we can Fix that. You know, we can fix that. But nothing's happened. He's like, so nothing irreversible? He's like, no, no, nothing. Nothing's happened. And Cory's like, yeah, seems I'm not even here, and it seems like something has happened. Greg. Hello? If somebody's talking to you every day and then suddenly stops talking to you after you act like a jackass, yeah, something's happened. So they come in, and Whitney's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wow, look at you. Who dressed you, Chris? Like, wow, Whitney, I channeled my inner you. I feel like It's a good 70s porn star look. And he's like, well, more like too legit to quit. Like Vanilla. Vanilla Ice.

[B]

Sir, that's MC Hammer, please.

[A]

That's Whitney. It's Whitney. Whitney's so white, he can't even get white rappers right. I know.

[B]

Whitney's like, well, I'm just gonna go home now and listen to Macklemore in the lair. So Charlie is talking to Patricia, and she's like, thank you again for inviting me to this. This is awesome. What are you drinking, champagne? She's like, yeah, you want to get some? Let's go get some. Who are you, by the way? Are you a waitress? Talking awfully familiar to me. And then Sally is. And Vanita arrive, and they're saying hi to everyone, and Molly and Whitner say hello, and Patricia is. Sally's talking to Patricia, saying her jacket looks amazing. And. And Sally is saying how Madison helped her get her look together on FaceTime. And also relays that Madison won't be coming because of the Bibi.

[A]

Whatever happened to nannies? Am I right? Hi. Does that make you want to have a baby? And Sally says, well, I mean, I'm not done with my party days, Ms. Patricia, but I still want my baby, you know? I mean, I don't know. Well, how about let's go in there and see who we can have one with. Hey, we need a sperm donor.

[B]

I mean, who? You want grandkids, right? Whitney would be a great sperm donor. Sperm donor? Unless you want, like, a punk rocker, Someone who is, like, really rebelling against the system. Mother.

[A]

Fortunately, it's hard for me these days to get a renob, so. Whitney. I know what that means spelled backwards. I'm not an idiot. Sorry, Mother. So then Shep is bringing. Everyone is shocked. It wasn't only shocking to us. We saw this in the preview in our trailer trash, and we were like, what the hell is with her? An age appropriate woman. What in the world is Happening here.

[B]

I was like, I recognize this woman. She's been on this show before. And it's. No, it's just because we analyzed her on our trailer trash so intensely. Like, wow. As far as we can tell, this looks like an age appropriate date for Shep.

[A]

I know. I'm ready for these crazy kids.

[B]

Yeah. So her name is.

[A]

Her energy is really funny and fun. I really like her. Actually, we don't see that much of her, but I liked her. So she comes in, in, like, some crazy polka dots, and she is Vanita's tennis instructor. And Austin's like, wow, is Vanita actually good at tennis? She goes, yeah, she's really good. So don't fuck with Danita. So Shep's like, this is Hannah, this is Molly. We've known each other for 20 years. Not 20, 16, 17, 40, 37, 90. I don't know. How old am I? Where am I? Were you in Vietnam?

[B]

She's like, yeah, since college. Yeah, of course. So she, Molly and Hannah are like the same age. Then Leva arrives and she's wearing this, like, under. I can't describe it. It was like this purple thing that was like, under the boobs and up and around or whatever. And Cory's like, hey, what's happening? And Craig's like, I have no idea. Like, Charlie is actively avoiding me. And Corey's like, oh, you. Have you all not talked? I'm like, what part of actively avoiding you have. You don't understand, Corey.

[A]

No, she keeps running away from me. Watch, there she is. You just see. You just see her run past. Hey, Sally, did you see that?

[B]

Yeah, I saw it.

[A]

Now I just feel like I'm getting clowned. I mean, what the hell, Craig? You just got to move forward with your life.

[B]

So Craig. So here's the thing, Craig. Craig knows I think on some level that what's her face. Charlie was turned off by Craig losing his mind. And Craig blames Sally for that. So Craig's revenge scheme is that he's going to make Sally feel like right now he goes, I just don't understand because I think we were a lot closer than anyone knew. You know, we FaceTime for, like, hours every night. We would talk for days every hours for days every day. Like, when she'd be bored, she would just FaceTime me. When she was falling asleep, she'd FaceTime me. And so I was like, say, dad,

[A]

like, yeah, you don't want to talk to me? Okay, fine. I won't try and work anything out with you. I'll just Ruin your relationship with Sally. Yeah.

[B]

I will tell Sally that we. Even though probably told me several times, please don't let Sally know how much we talk. It would really break her heart. Here's Craig, you know, laying it all out there, that we talk all the time. And also, by the way, Charlie was going to come with me and my brother and sister in law to France. We were going to travel together. I was gonna pick her up from the airport. What? Craig, that's so committed.

[A]

How could you? I was gonna pick her up from lax. Oh, my God. Everybody on Bravo knows that means marriage. Craig, you're blowing my mind.

[B]

I was gonna meet her in Marina Del Rey. I don't even know where that is, but I know it's far.

[A]

I am shook that you guys are as close as you're saying. Looking back, I think there were so many signs that their relationship was more serious than she was letting on. And then we see clips of, like, them being on the beach and Craig being like, look, it's a beach. And Charlie being like, yeah, yeah, it's a. It's a. It's like the Notebook. It's like watching the Notebook on speed. What are you guys talking about?

[B]

And also, Sally, I cannot feel bad for you. I'm sorry. I'm just. I'm so over it. Yeah, it was. It was shitty girl code, you know, for Charlie to. To. To go pursue. Not pursue Craig, but, like, take him up on his offer. But, like, I just don't feel. I just never felt bad about it because I felt like Sally also was similarly selfish when it came to Vanita. And I just think that, like, you've proven that what matters most to you in a moment is if you like a guy, you're gonna go after the guy, even if it means your friend is gonna feel some sort of way about. So, like, turnabout is fair play. And the fact that, like, this has been talked about so much and you're still getting all in a tizzy about it when you're also claiming that you, like, love Austin. I'm like, I can't. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Or as Austin would say, you can't have a tough cookie and digest it as well. You can't.

[A]

You can't have cake, and you can't have a cake. Okay. Can't you have cake? You can't crack a cake. Yeah. Also, you came on this season planting your flag in two out of three leads. Yeah. And that's not fair either. Like, you don't get to just come in and call dibs on everybody. I mean, she's ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah. It's too much. It's too much. And the reason why. And.

[A]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

I was gonna say also that, like, Charlie. The reason why also Charlie does. Doesn't tell you about any of these things is because you freaked out every single time. And so, like, at some point, she's like, I'm just not. I'm not sharing this part with you anymore because you always have this hostile reaction. And then, like, you know, and then. And wasn't it just, like, two episodes again where Sally was like, I don't want to know. Just don't tell me anything. I'm sick of it. And she gets so mad, which doesn't know something.

[A]

Yeah. I think that Charlie. You know, this is my. That said, Charlie should have definitely handled this differently. She should have said, listen, I really didn't have interest in Craig, but we're hanging out a lot more. I do kind of have interest in him. Can I have permission today? You know, like, can I, please? Instead, she's like, well, I don't really even like him. What are you talking about? No, I don't like him. Okay, well, I did. Well, it's not a date. Okay, well, it was a date. Okay, well, it was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, well, you know, I don't really like him, though. But I. Okay, okay. I do really like him. So she's kind of handling this wrong. I think that with someone like Sally, you have to be like Sally. All is fair in love and war. You lost this one. My turn. Okay, you've already got. You're already all over Austin. Like, come on.

[B]

Yeah, well, also, maybe it just shows that their friendship is not like. Like, has some imbalances, because the reason why she was so wishy washy with Sally was because she was basically afraid of Sally's reaction. Like, that was the fundamental thing. And she's always worried about what Sally will do and what Sally would say. So, yes, you either stand up and say, sally, this is the way it's gonna be. But she's not gonna do that because she knows Sally's probably gonna freak out on some level or, like, be, like, you know, annoying. So I think that maybe they just don't have a friend. Like, their friendship is maybe not, like. Like a good friendship, and they just don't realize it yet.

[A]

Yeah. And. But the thing that still bothers me is that Sally is making it like, oh, Charlie chose some guy over our friend Sally. You would choose a guy over any of These people.

[B]

Yeah, you did it with.

[A]

You do it all the time. So stop.

[B]

You did it with Vanita. And whether or not you think Vanitas, you know, like, Vanita's justified over her annoyance with Craig. Like, wherever you fall on that. The point is that Vanita and Charlie, Vanita and Sally were like, tight friends. And Vanita had real negative feelings about Craig and was like, like, this guy is my enemy. Like, stop flirting. Like. Like, it hurts me when you flirt with him. And Sally was like, whatever. So, like, whatever you feel about Vanita, the point is that Sally just not. Not so much disregarded her friend. She chose herself over her friend in that moment. So I just. I just have no sympathy here in this moment for the storyline where she finds out that, like. Like, oh, Charlie and Craig, FaceTime. I don't know. And also, like, Sally, you should be smart enough to know that Craig is a manipulative, and he's gonna say things that intentionally get you mad.

[A]

Yeah. And you're letting him do it to you again. Oh, my God. It's just what he did to you, you know, when he. When he. When you told him that you liked him and then he turned around and told everyone, oh, my God, she's crazy. This girl's, like, unstable. Like, she's a hurricane. Like, like, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's kind of doing the same thing now where it's like, oh, okay, I think I'm. I'm sensing that Charlie is about to me over. Okay. So I'm gonna take her out as I go. And Charlie is a manipulative liar, and she's been lying to everybody this whole time. You know, he's. Yeah, he's just villainizing. He's villainizing whatever woman it doesn't work out with. That's his go to. So gross. And, yeah, Sally, be smarter, but, I mean, that's a tall order.

[B]

And also, this is coming on the heels, quite frankly. I'm gonna go back to earlier in the episode. It goes back to her being justifiably really mad at Craig for the way he treated her on that van. And she's, like, so mad, so mad, so mad. And she whips everyone into a tizzy. Like, Craig is like this. And, like. And then he gives, like, the most basic mail it in half apology. And she's like, okay, it's all good now. But, like, you've brought everyone into this. You brought everyone into this drama, which, by the way, you should have, because what Craig did was wrong. And then, like, the moment he bats his eyes at you. You're like, so she still puts the guy and and Craig over else, but then she wants us to feel bad for her when someone else was like, you know, sort of centering Craig in their lives. I just like, no, I don't, I don't. I can't and I won't.

[A]

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[A]

Cookie cracked. So Whitney's like, today we're honoring Carolina Day, and we're commemorating battles of Sullivan's island in 1776, the year Shep was born.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

When a small band of patriots defied the British Navy and defended Charleston against impossible odds. Viva la revolution and let's have some fun.

[B]

Oh, and Whitney does, like the punk rock thing. I'm like, yes, I love. Whitney's version of being punk rock is referencing a moment in the Revolutionary War. The original punk rockers Revolution War. I also like the guy who introduced Whitney who's like. And now to say some poignant words is Whitney Sutler Smith with only poignant words. What are you talking about? Carolina Day.

[A]

Meanwhile, Corey tries to flirt with Molly again. He's like, hey, how are you? You look hot tonight. Got that. Got that ass and the tits out. He's so gross, this guy. Why is he on here?

[B]

He is the worst. And it still really bothers me. Like, I don't. I haven't checked on his social media lately, because who would? And so I don't know if his. If his feelings have evolved, but it still really bothers me that he. He posts, like, lots of, you know, that he was, like, liking lots of transphobic memes while here he is at this party, you know, liberally borrowing sartorially from, I would argue, the LGBTQ world of fashion, you know, and, like, that's just. It's just as. So he's just such a, you know.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, how to find that more not binary in TEMU purchases only.

[B]

I don't know how to say that. Right. I'm tired. The LGBTQ world of fashion. Another reason.

[A]

Here's another reason Ben is never nominated for a Glad Award. Whatever. You're making their case.

[B]

But you know what I'm saying? He, like, this is the hit. The look that he is using is fully referencing styles that have come from the gay community and the larger. And like. And not just like gay, trans, gay, everything, our whole umbrella. And he's really pulling from it. And I don't mind. I love when actually people assimilate and whatever. It's like, I love the normalization of these things, but he's clearly pulling from it and trying to get cred from it. But, like. But like, you know what his social media is.

[A]

I get what you're saying, because it kind of comes from that in a way, but it comes from Harry Styles.

[B]

But where was Harry Styles taken from

[A]

it, too, of course. Well, that's what I'm saying, in his mind, it's not coming from that community. It's coming from Harry Styles, and he's doing it to get poo. Say it's not. He's not thinking about, you know, the trans movement. But I do see what you're saying, because ultimately, it does come from there.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It's like. And I'm not saying that, like, oh, if you are gonna go for that look, you need to somehow, like, you know, like, put on a thing, like a button that says, I acknowledge that this look comes from his roots. And, like, you. Whatever community. I'm just saying, like, that the fact that he, on the one hand, hasn't. Has liked these transphobic memes, and on the other hand, is perfectly happy to cherry pick, you know, things that have, you know, come from the world of the LGBT world.

[A]

I get what you're saying. I mean, basically, he's a classless piece of trash. Is kind of where I'm coming from in both. Both in both mental and physical. Mental, mentally and physically. Okay, he's disgusting trash. And I hate that he's even on the show because they're at least pretending on this show to be classy. They're not, but they at least try to all pretend. And he doesn't even. He just comes in like, yeah, nice ass and tits, bitch. Yeah, yeah, he's just disgusting. And Molly seems kind of grossed out by him, and he's like, what do you have to do tomorrow besides make me breakfast? She's like, yeah, I'm not making you breakfast. If you were smaller, I'd feed you to my corn snake, so please leave me alone.

[B]

Yeah. And then she, like, pats him, and he's like, don't pat me like that. Tongue sticks out. I'm like, oh, my God, don't be on my TV like that. So then Patricia and Eddie and Ryan just leave. And then Molly checks in on Charlie, and she's like, hey, are you okay? You. You don't seem to be flirting with Austin right now. Something's off. And she's like, well, I'm sorry. You're Charlie. I got my blondes confused. Charlie, are you okay? She's like, well, I haven't spoken to Craig yet. She's like, are you gonna talk to him tonight? She's like, well, I've been waiting to talk to him, but he's been preoccupied. But now it's like, one of those things where I'm like, now mad been, like, it's been so long, like. And, like, Do I have to be up and go to him and be like, can you come up, talk to me? Like, I don't want to do that. I've got to be decent. Must be decent.

[A]

She's like, yeah, I mean, it's Craig, so he's not gonna come talk to you. So. Yeah, I mean, if you're gonna do it, just. I mean, you have to do it. So she goes off to do it, and Charlie's saying hi to someone, but she interrupts, and he's like, I mean, you're so weird. Like, every time I walk in a room, you're, like, dodging me. She's like, yeah, okay, so let's. Let's go talk then, I guess. So they go out, and Leva sees Sally, and Sally's like, I'm so upset. Y' all love. It's like, what's wrong?

[B]

Yeah, And. And so Lev is like. They're like, what's. What's wrong? And Sally goes, well, after the conversation I just had with Craig, I'm just, like, shook. What's happening? What happened, girlfriend? Well, he was telling me things that I had no idea about, Like, Charlie, like, she wants to travel with him, and they FaceTime hours a day, and I'm just surprised by how deep they were.

[A]

And you didn't know that?

[B]

No, I didn't know how close until tonight.

[A]

And Molly's like, yeah, no one's surprised, But Sally's, like, typically the hot best friend that gets all the guys, so I think that's a real blow to Sally's pride, which. Ding, ding, ding. Thank you, Molly. Thank you. So Vanita says, well, has someone is your best friend, are they gonna go after the man you like? Yes or no? No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And if they go after the man they know you like, or are they gonna hide it? Yes or no? And Rodrigo's like, she ain't your best friend, girly.

[B]

That time. That was a joy quote. So Molly's like, well, you're realizing that you don't know her as well as you thought, right? She's like. So then Craig and Charlie have a cheers. And Craig is like, hey, I was excited to see you all day. She's. Yeah, well, I haven't seen you since Mexico, but I feel like I haven't really talked to you about you and Sally's confrontation and, like, how it made me feel, you know, so funny.

[A]

To me, Charlie, it's not like I'm gonna go stand up for my friend. It's like, oh, my God, you don't understand how it made me feel. It's very Charlie. It's like it happened to Vanita. She didn't care. She's like, why are you guys ruining my vacation? You know? But it happened right in front of her in the car. And she's like, well, you didn't even ask me how I felt him at it. And he's like, well, he looks shocked. He's like, I mean, but you never. She goes, yeah, but neither did you, Craig. And he says, well, okay, but, like, you know, everyone has bad nights. And Sally. Sally got into my head. And she goes, no, it's not just Sally. It's like whenever you have an argument, like, you piss each other off all the time. Like, I wish it didn't turn into a confrontation. I mean, it's upsetting to me.

[B]

Well, of course it was awful. Awful to be in a van with Sally. What a monster. And I would take it back in a heartbeat, but I can. But, like, you and I have a credible, incredible relationship. Like, we FaceTime every night. She goes, yeah, well, not every night since Mexico. Okay, but up to that, it was like a month and a half of FaceTiming. Every night, I would.

[A]

Okay, well, I'm not denying it. I'm not denying it, Craig. I'm not dying it.

[B]

Okay, I met your friends. We had a great time.

[A]

Okay, but, like, I'm saying, like, before, like, I was seriously interested in you, and I'm saying my switch flipped in Mexico. Like, I. I only see us as friends now.

[B]

Wow. I let my guard down with Charlie. And, like, this isn't a rebound or, like, something that I'm distracting myself with. So for it all to be erased in one bad night just sucks. Oh, you let your guard down. Oh, you let your guard down and you screamed at a woman in a van. Oh, I feel so bad for you. I actually love this. I love the fact that earlier in the season, he was like, I just am afraid to get into a relationship with Charlie because what if I. What if I, you know, like, what if I basically, like, don't want to be there anymore? Then I don't want to. Like, I don't want to get her heart, and then she's the one who dumps him. Exactly.

[A]

And you can let your guard down all you want, Craig. That's not the problem is that you've got everyone else having to put up their guard because you're insane. And he's like, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And after my breakup, like, I think I was worried you know I would never like someone again, but I had, like, enough. Big enough crush on you that, like, I would have picked you over my ex, and I didn't think I would have ever felt like that again. I love that Craig. It's like his. His revenge storyline is dead, so he's like, well, I still would have picked you over Pace Page. Suck it, Paige.

[B]

Yeah, and I also don't believe this in.

[A]

At.

[B]

At all. I think this is a pure manipulation. So she's like, really? It's like, I didn't know that. He's like, well, yeah, because it was never. Like, we never got there, but, like, we had a lot of fun, you know, FaceTiming every night. She's like, well, I'm not going anywhere, friendship wise.

[A]

Yeah, well, we're never gonna be just friends, quote unquote, Paige desorbo. It's like, now you're just saying page lines. Come on, man.

[B]

And then she's like, well, we can try. We can try to just be friends. Like, we. Look, I. I believe in our friend zone, okay? And I think it will work for us. We will be friends.

[A]

God. So then we. Tyler is checking in with Shep. He's like, oh, my God. Who's that girl? Who'd you bring here? She's cute. She's cute. And she's like, yeah, she's great. And she was like, I'm 37. I want a child. And I was like, I want. I'm 45. I am a child. Wow. And Tyler's like. Tyler's like, you don't want a child. Why are you. He's like, I think I do. He goes, no, you don't. And he goes, but, like, I'd be a donor. A boner donor. Gosh, Gosh, Gosh, Gosh, gosh, gosh.

[B]

So then everyone's sitting in the foyer, and Sally comes up, and Leva's like, sally, what's going on? And Charlie's like, hey, Sally, come over here. Come on. Come on. She's like, no, I'm upset with you, Charlie. Like, I'm a lot upset with you. You know, Craig told me all this stuff, like, about y' all being in a relationship, and I had to learn it from Craig.

[A]

And she's like, oh, my God. I mean, maybe I just didn't want anyone to know, you know? Like, come on. Totally fair. Unless your best friend liked him before, you know, you can't have the friendship anymore, you know?

[B]

Well, Charlie is like, well, if I ever felt like Sally, like, seriously was interested in. In Craig, I never would have gone on the oyster date in the first place. I mean, I went on that date because I believe she was 1000% okay with it. Like, with how good friends we are. I thought if she wasn't okay with it, she would have told me that. And we see a flashback of Sally being like, well, I'm dumb. I'm over Craig, and if you want to go on a date with him, yes, you can do it, because I'll tow over it. Which, by the way, is not what someone says when they're over someone. Like, I was like, clearly Sally has feelings. But, like, I know. Yeah, that was the funny thing of the clip.

[A]

She's like, I thought Sally was totally okay with him. So I was like, fine, if you want to date that monster and hurt my feelings and ruin my life, she's like, okay, I got an okay. But she can't get away with it because Leva is there. And love is the ultimate on this show of, like, hi, I'm Leva. I'm here once a year, and it's to judge you. So you can't really do that to your friend because your friend, like, really liked him. Like, okay, Leva, but you haven't seen Sally in action all season long either, because I feel like your lecture would extend.

[B]

Yeah. And Lev is like, is there something you're not saying? Sally? And Sally's like, well, the text I sent you before you and Craig's date, you know, I just can't do this. And so there was a text that Sally sent right before the date, which, by the way. By the way, sending a text right before the date, I don't know. I think that's all. I don't know. I just. It does nothing. Has sat right with me with Sally all season long. So Sally says in her text, she texted her, and the text said, well, I feel sad. Ugh. I don't want to have feelings for Craig. So it's like a passive aggressive way to be. Like, I still like Craig. It's almost like a test. Will you cancel the date? Will you do this? But you're not actually saying, you know what? I really do like Craig, and I. I don't think I was being honest. My feelings. And it makes me really uncomfortable that you're going out with him, because he really. He really hurt me. And I feel like, you shouldn't do this. I feel like a good girlfriend wouldn't do this. But instead, she's just sort of dangling this, like, notion. She wants Charlie to, like, infer all this. And right before the date, I just feel like it's a manipulation, and I don't like it.

[A]

You know, I have to stick up for Sally here because I think she's pretty. She's been pretty clear this whole time, like, I don't want you dating Craig. I like Craig. And she even said at the beginning of the season, if you like Craig, that's fine, but you need to tell right now because I like Craig. And it looks like you'd like Craig. And Charlie's like, no, I don't like Craig. And so Sally is pursuing things with Craig and hanging out with Craig and this girl in a hot tub, and she keeps telling her, are you sure you don't like Craig? Because it seems like you like Craig. And she's like, nope, nope, not into Craig at all. And then it ends up that she. That Craig, she's the one that Craig liked in the hot tub the whole time, and then she starts dating him. And I'm sure that Sally does feel stupid. Like, here I am, I'm hanging out with my friend and Craig thinking that I'm flirting with Craig. And meanwhile, she was flirting with Craig and getting in behind him. Like, I see that she would feel that way. I don't think it's completely. I don't think that she's completely being manipulated. I think she was pretty upfront with her feelings on it. It's just. I just feel like she doesn't have the right to, like, call dibs on every guy. That's what bugs me. I just wish Charlie handled it better and said right at the beginning, I don't know if I like Craig. He's cute. We flirted at the beach a little bit. But I'd like the opportunity to flirt with him too. Like, why do you get him?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I also. I see why Sally feels the way she feels. I just. I think that they're. I think Charlie is allowed to say, I'm not interested in Craig. And then they hang out a few times, and then she's like, you know, maybe I am interested in Craig. And she's like, you know, And Sally did kind of like, it wasn't just like, hey, are you interested in Craig? She basically was like, like, if you're interested in Craig, like, you better tell me. Because, like, she was sort of, like, threatening her. It wasn't. Was not like a friendly, like, girl talk, you know, circle of trust. It was. It was kind of like a. Like a false option. Like, if you like Craig, you have to tell me because it was like, if you like Craig, you have to tell me, because if you like him, our friendship is over. That's kind of what the implication was. And I just think, like, I. I believe that Sally has a right to feel hurt. I feel like she has not had really much perspective on this, given her, like, that the same thing happened with her and Vanita. And on top of that, I just think that her sending that text off right before the date is a manipulation. Like, she may be her. And maybe her way of saying, like, oh, I wish you had been like, I. I actually have to be honest with you. I do like Craig, and this. This hurts. But she didn't do that. And I think she was. I don't know. Like, I just. It all rubs me the wrong way. Yeah, I get it.

[A]

I mean, Sally in general rubs me the wrong.

[B]

I liked her.

[A]

But you know what? I'd love to help it. I can't help but like Sally because, I mean, she's just a dingbat. You know, I don't think she has any. I don't think she has any bad intentions. I just think she's kind of a dingbat. And, you know, she just likes all these guys. Like, I don't dislike her. I just think she's wrong a lot of the time. I just. I just. I guess I expect more from Charlie because Charlie seems a lot smarter and, like, seeing how Charlie deals with Craig in this episode, I really liked how she dealt with Craig. I thought it was very, like, straightforward. It was. I don't know. It seems like she's grown a lot over the course. So anyway, I would expect more from Charlie to just be like Sally. Here's the deal, you know, instead of letting Sally go so over the top, because now Sally's being ridiculous, and now she's basically got Leva against Charlie, and now she's got Vanita against. You know, now she's got all the girls against Charlie, and that's not going to do well for Charlie to remain on the show. So I don't know. I wish Charlie. I wish everybody handled it better. And, you know, here we are again, arguing over these people. When it's Craig, it is Craig.

[B]

I know. Starting all crazy last season, I really liked Sally. This season, I found Sally to be really annoying. But, like, Southern charm is, I think, think probably the best example of, like, a reset show because every time there's a new season, I find that my alliance, like, my allegiances change. Around the past two seasons, I've been actually very complimentary towards Austin. And I've been like, especially. Especially this season, I've been very anti Craig, but in the previous seasons, I've been very pro Craig. I mean, watch it happen next year where suddenly I'm pro Craig and anti Austin again. Like, I feel like I'm always changing sides.

[A]

Not you, it's them. It's what they're doing to us. They manipulate us. You know, we talk about we can see them manipulating everybody else, but when it comes to us, we feel like, oh, we're. We're special. We're the special one. But that's not. But, you know, we are. Like, Austin's come in in the past, and Shep, too. Austin's come in with his. Like, I'm just a good guy. I've got a girlfriend. Look, I'm committed to somebody, but she's just never here. It's just somebody you guys never see. And I have cats now. Now. And so he tricks us, and Shep doesn't date anybody, so there's nobody that he's treating like on camera, and he's just like. But I just want everybody to have ayahuasca and be friends, because that's. Yeah, you know, we're easily tricked. Craig is the one that's, you know, getting the heat because we're watching him actively treat people like shit. Next season, it'll be Shepar Craig, or Austin.

[B]

You know, I would like to announce that, by the way, that Corey Keefer has watch our crappens and me and I don't know you as well blocked, so.

[A]

Oh, that's funny. We don't even post about Corey.

[B]

That's probably because we complain about him on our show. You're like, I don't even post about him. You know we're on a podcast, right?

[A]

Yeah, but why would he listen to the podcast?

[B]

Because. Because we've called out his transphobic likes before, and he probably doesn't like that. And so I actually went to his Instagram to see if he is actually involved, because I actually. If he has, like, if he is not doing that anymore, if he has evolved, I don't want to be sitting here on this podcast and, you know, complaining about, you know, what he likes and doesn't like, if. Like, that's actually not a reflection of his current beliefs. But now I can't know. So there we go.

[A]

How could you watch this episode and think for a second? Corey Keefer has changed anything. Corey Queefer.

[B]

What a rip. Rip. Our burgeoning friendship with Corey Kiefer. We never had one.

[A]

Gross. He's so gross. You're such a slime ball. Keep me blocked, loser.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then Sally's like, yeah, you know, it sucked. And Charlie's like, okay, Sally, you know, I know, I know. She was an. Ever since, like, I've had resentment towards you, you know, because you did that, and it's all coming out right now. She goes, okay, you know what? You're right. I. It wasn't cool for me to send you those texts. And then you had to go, you know, she's like, it wasn't really cool, you know, I knew you liked him. I was completely selfish in my decision. I knew deep down you know how you were feeling, and instead, I chose to entertain a guy that you thought that you might actually be interested in. And I'm actually incredibly sorry. And I know there's no excuse, but, like, I'm really sorry. And I don't know where you go, okay, great apology, right? That's like, everything. And you want. You want an apology, but it came after you dumped Craig. Drag. So it makes it, like, less potent, but it was still a good apology.

[B]

I thought it was a good apology. I thought it was, like, very much like she fell on her sword and everything. And then they do the thing of, like, I love you so much. I love you. I love you. And they wipe each other's tears, and. But, you know, there's gonna be lingering resentments, and it's gonna come out at the reunion. So then in the party, Craig and Austin decide to have a chat. So Austin's like, well, Craig, Craig, looks like you have your hands full. Unlike me. I mean, I survive my hands full of cats, cat, dad. So Craig's like, yeah, Charlie told me on the Porsche that she just, like, wants to be friends. So it's like, a bummer because I told her we were never going to be just friends. Like, it's not a thing. Like, I'm moving on with my life. But then Sally was really upset that she's like, you know, really, like, she's like. She. She's just, like, not. She didn't, like, know about, like, me and Charlie's relationship, but Sally made it so difficult for us to have a chance. And I constantly deal with people meddling in my business. It just gets a lot, which you just did.

[A]

I mean, you just ruined a friendship or tried to ruin a friendship because you didn't get your way. You're such a little Craig. It's like, seriously. So Austin's like, craig. And he goes, what? He goes, you say mean and nasty things to everyone who rub you the wrong way. Like, you. You can't take this back, Craig. And he's like, whoa, do I get angry? Yes. And I work on that with my Alexa. And I hate being reactive, but, like, it's in response to people doing really up to me.

[B]

Yeah, that's. He's only like that because other people make him that way. I love you so much, but you make me so mad.

[A]

Look what you made me do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Guess who else says that every abusive in the world, Craig. Oh.

[B]

Oh. I went with Taylor Swift. Ooh, look what you made me do. Austin is like, Charlie, dish him because of his behavior in Mexico, not because of Sally. Once again, everyone else's fault and no accountability. How many people can you scream at? And then before you actually, like, I should do some work about this, like. But I. I will put in the work to make myself better at some point once I get up to a pro plan with chat GPT.

[A]

But you're not, though. But I work on myself every day. I wholeheartedly disagree with you, Craig. You aren't able to admit any fault. No, I'm not. I said I'm always wrong when I'm reactive. Okay? Do you have, like, a serious fucking anger problem? Okay, you do. Do you accept that or do you not? He's like, austin, this isn't a productive conversation.

[B]

Oh, my God. You'll never see another person's fucking point of view. No, I will see everyone's point of view. No, you won't, Craig. You see your point of view only. Like, we don't do, like. Like, we don't got to do this. Okay, look, we really don't have to do this anymore, Craig.

[A]

But I do see everyone's point of view, because everyone's point of view is the reason that I get reactive. Everyone's point of view is the problem. That's what I'm saying. This is cyclical. I don't even ride a bike. You don't take accountability. But I just admitted not to riding a bike. God damn it, Craig. Stop trying to make me ride a bike. It's dangerous. I hate helmets. My hair's important.

[B]

Whatever, man. You never listen to anybody. Off, Craig. Dude, you're lost. You're lost. So long, ob. It's obvious. I'm done. I am leaving. So Craig just leaves. So Austin's now with Whitney, and he's like, only Craig can make it seem like he's not the PR when he's like, well, are you guys back to square One. Much like the British were after we defeated them at Sullivan's Island. Punk rock. Punk rock.

[A]

Want to talk about 1776? Punk rock? No. We're going square zero. He has no business in my life. So I am leaving too. I'm also leaving. So after we've seen Craig take the sad walk past the iron gates, now Austin's gonna do it. And Shep's like, where do you want to go? Where should we go? It's like, I don't know. Anyway, away from here. So they. They decide they're gonna grab a drink and Whitney's gonna go get his date. And now Sally's with Molly. And Sally's like, I just texted Austin. Is he okay? Did Charlie screw him on over too?

[B]

So she goes outside and Austin's, like, about to leave. He's at the wrought iron gate fence, I should say. Sally's like, austin, can you come here? He's like, okay, it's important. It's about cats.

[A]

No.

[B]

How is your conversation with Craig? Well, I feel good about not holding any more space for Craig in my life. Well, good for you. Yeah. By the way, you looked really great tonight, by the way. My friend called Carl, said I should say that you look great, by the way.

[A]

And she's standing. She's standing on the top. Top of the steps, and he's like, down the steps, like, holding on to the rot iron fence. This is like their big romantic movie scene where it's like, oh, st. Craig.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

I hate Craig too. Oh, Craig. Austin. Sally.

[B]

Austin.

[A]

What do you want, Sally? Austin.

[B]

Sally.

[A]

Jesus Christ, just say what you want. She's like, can you come here? I'm sorry for actually caring about you and liking you and, like, goes, well, I appreciate that and I like you too. I think you're wonderful, but I'm not in the headspace to do something with somebody. Like, I understand getting out of relationship and not being emotionally available, but, like, would you be interested in me if you were in the headspace?

[B]

I'm not asking you for you to be in the headspace. Listen, Austin, I'm not asking for headspace, just some head. What do you say?

[A]

Well, Sally, I'll give you a head in space. Austin,

[B]

I'll hold space for your head. But so Sally, who was just crying about Craig, I mean, I know she was crying because she felt betrayed by Charlie, but I think part of that was she was crying because it was like a real deal relationship, and I think she felt a certain sort of way about that. So she was just crying About Craig on a certain level. And now she's here, like, going back to Austin. It's like, stay, Austin, stay. And so then she's like, would you like me if you could like me? Which is such a crazy question, such a desperate question to ask someone. And she's. He's like, I don't know. I can't answer that. But I call bullshit, cuz, you know, it's reciprocated. Austin, I'll do whatever I gotta do. I know you like me. Say you like me. Say you'll be mine.

[A]

God, Sally, get some self respect. He's like, listen, I like you, but I'm not in a place to like. He's basically saying, you're gonna get nothing from me. She's like, oh, that's. Can I come with you? I'll run away with you. I'll do anything. He's like, well, there's a car here and I'm gonna meet up with Whitney and Shep. So are you coming with me or not? Yeah, I'm coming. I was like, oh, my God. That. This is like your big romantic evening. Your. Your big romantic ending for the season. Sally is just like, yes, settling. I'm settling for being someone's fuck toy. I can't wait.

[B]

I can finally be the fourth wheel in this group of men.

[A]

Yep. So she goes off and then we see Sally gets the last scene of the evening. We see Sally packing up her chickens into her mom's car. And it says, sally's chicken era has ended, but has her Austin era begun? Since Carolina Day, they've been hanging out and making out. And then we see clips of them on Instagram. Like, when you're single and you can still drink. And then they're drinking but, like, being all over each other.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, wow. Do they have a relationship? But more importantly, does anyone in America care? No. There it is. There it is.

[A]

The reunion looks really good. I particularly liked where Craig's like, broke my heart. You strung me along. And Charlie's like, we went on two dates.

[B]

Yeah, I like that part. So it looks like they're all going to come for Craig. So this is an anti Craig reunion and we'll just see how it goes. But anyway, thank you all for being here and we will have some Southern hospitality coming up to you very soon.

[A]

Thanks, everybody. We'll talk to you later.

[B]

Bye.

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Bye.

[B]

Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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