#3261 Ladies of London S4E03: DeWine Truths

Summary

WATCH WHAT CRAPPENS – Ep. #3261 Ladies of London S4E03: DeWine Truths
Hosts: Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam
Date: March 13, 2026

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

Ben and Ronnie return to deeply praise and mock (“we mock because we love!”) Ladies of London Season 4 Episode 3. This episode marks a shift to heavier content—trauma reveals, dark backstories—but the signature acerbic Crappens humor is never far behind. They focus on contrasts between forced vulnerability in reality TV and the sharp shade and acid wit of the cast, especially Kimmy, their “sociopath queen.”

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KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS

1. General Impressions & Cast Standouts (02:00)

• The hosts acknowledge the tonal shift to “heavier” fare but are impressed how Ladies of London still cuts through with biting wit and acid humor.
• Ronnie: “It is extremely dark... and I mean, what are we going to do? I’m just going to go at it as the show does and just laugh anyway, because what are you going to do?” (02:36)
• Kimmy emerges as breakout star for the episode: unapologetically blunt, refusing to indulge in forced sentimentality.
  • Ben: “She does not care if you disagree or don’t like her...I just love someone with that kind of confidence in their own personality.” (03:25)

2. Neighborhoods in London & Social Signifiers (04:55)

• Margo and others discuss the importance of where in London you live: “You meet someone new, it’s always ‘which part of London do you live in?’” (05:01)
• The hosts laugh at the British regional stereotypes—Chelsea (affluence), Hackney (artsy), Notting Hill (boho chic)—and mock how even the ostensibly “unmaterialistic” Lottie runs a high-end tailoring business.
  • Ben: "Your entire occupation is about material things. Tailoring, high-end suits..." (06:16)
• American Micah is repeatedly outed as a fish-out-of-water.
  • “This is the second time in a row... so embarrassing... the show's not even gonna bother saying where she lives.” (06:54)

3. Flashback to Last Night’s Drama (10:17)

• Major recap of previous night’s argument. Dara accused of talking badly about castmates, then denying and confirming.
• Kimmy’s zero-tolerance: “I always say when someone’s horrible or toxic, just flush, flush, flush...” (12:05)
• Debate on whether Missy is a victim or leveraging hardship for attention.
  • Ben: “She arranged that entire trip just so she could tell her sob story and make people be like ‘Oh, Missy’... as was noted, it’s a legitimate, very serious sob story. But she ruined the fun.” (14:47)

4. Martha’s Storage Unit & Emotional Unpacking (17:06)

• Martha revisits storage filled with family artifacts; reflect on her sister’s suicide and father’s death with alternating comedy and real pain.
  • Martha, in tears, dons her dad’s fez while holding a model sailboat, producing a strangely comedic tableau.
  • Ben: “...the fact that she’s sitting there crying in a giant fez was sort of a funny image to me…” (20:21)
• Margot oscillates between support and tough love:
  • “If I have to come to your fucking house and find your dead body, … What do you think that would do to us, Margot?” (22:40)
  • Memorable Moment: Martha worries Margot will have to care for her pet magpie; Margot refuses and berates both Martha and the magpie. (23:00)

5. Lottie & Her Materialism Contradiction (26:03)

• Lottie, the “non-materialistic” artist, goes on a luxury baby shopping spree with her fashionable mother.
  • British “poppers” (snaps) is discussed at length.
  • Flashback: Lottie’s family rises from middle-class to “upper middle” after her father’s lucrative redundancy payout.
  • Ben: “This is the craziest sob story of all time. My dad…became a CEO…but we lost it all...Actually, we didn’t lose it all…we just lived the rest of our lives astoundingly wealthy.” (31:05)

6. Kimmy’s Backstory & Her Kids (33:32)

• Kimmy reveals her deeply fractured childhood — mother blamed her and brother for the divorce, father connected to Duvalier-era business in Haiti.
• Ronnie: “Her story is just—and just how she tells it... we went to Haiti and, you know, he was with the Duvaliers in business ways…” (36:00)
• Kimmy’s parenting style: hands-on, but with trademark biting humor—critical of her own kids’ art.

7. Micah and Dara’s Confrontation (38:00)

• Micah attempts emotional reconciliation; Dara is deflective, defensive, condescending.
  • “Did I say anything directly to Missy? No, she obviously overheard it.” (41:49)
• Ben nails the recursive, circular nature of the argument: “I feel like Dara had such an easy out here… But Dara doesn’t even try.” (41:14)
• Dara's demeanor memorable for cold, “blatantly rude but so funny” detachment. (43:37)

8. The Notorious Wine Tasting Luncheon (44:45)

- Journey to the Vineyard (44:52)

• Long, rainy van ride; English weather jokes.
• Lottie complains about being pregnant at a winery. Hosts explain: “Worst place to bring a pregnant woman.”
• Hosts riff on British vineyards and global warming: “Because of global warming, the wine belt has actually gone north.” (46:25)

- Trauma Olympics (50:28)

• Missy brings the group together to share “something personal,” but it quickly becomes a traumatic one-upsmanship.
• Kimmy starts with a light, funny anecdote from her time in Haiti—“I have three nipples...just joking!”—but is blindsided when everyone else goes dark.
• The Dinner Table Circle of Pain:
  • Kimmy: Haiti/Creole story, lighter tone
  • Micah: Mixed heritage, insecurity
  • Margot: Story about explicit movie (“Nine Songs”), media controversy (“talk about blanc to blanc!”)
    • Kimmy: “Is it like a porn film? Talk about blanc to blanc.” (53:31)
  • Missy: Her brother’s murder—extremely graphic, heavy details: “He got shot in London...in front of his son...Christmas Eve...” (53:53)
  • Martha: Sister’s suicide, white tattoo memorial
  • Lottie: Dad survived terminal cancer, which turns into an upbeat ending
  • Emma: Only minor vulnerability, jokes about her “responsibility to rhinos”
  • Everyone observes Kimmy’s visible discomfort — her inner eye-roll becomes the episode’s comic highlight.
  • Ronnie: “I started cracking up because it was kind of what I was thinking. These days, everything is about your trauma...you get social capital based off your trauma...but just that Kimmy is everyone’s inside voice.” (57:15)

9. Kimmy’s Callousness & Pushback (66:18 onward)

• In the van home, Kimmy and Margot debrief: “When people start opening up too much, I just find it disingenuous.” (66:18)
• Margot and Martha push back against Kimmy's flippancy about Missy’s brother’s death.
• Kimmy is unbothered, recounts her own difficult past: “None of this fazes me…I don't want to harp on bad things that happened 30 years ago. Makes me feel worse.” (68:21)
• Ben and Ronnie analyze whether Kimmy’s attitude is defense against her own trauma or just indifference—“all the sob story stuff is like, don’t take me back there.” (69:49)

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MEMORABLE QUOTES & MOMENTS (with timestamps)

• “She does not care if you disagree or don’t like her...I just love someone with that kind of confidence.” – Ben (03:25)
• “[Missy] just arranged that entire trip just so she could tell her sob story and make people be like, ‘Oh, Missy.’” – Ben (14:47)
• “If I have to come to your fucking house and find your dead body...what do you think that would do to us, Margot?” – Margot berating crying Martha (22:40)
• “Your entire occupation is about material things...tailoring, high-end suits.” – Ben about Lottie (06:16)
• “This is the craziest sob story of all time. My dad...became a CEO...but we lost it all...Actually, we didn’t lose it all...we just lived the rest of our lives astoundingly wealthy.” – Ben (31:05)
• "I have three nipples. Just joking. Okay, well, I spent a lot of time in Haiti growing up..." – Kimmy (50:55)
• “Talk about blanc to blanc!” – Kimmy when Margot confesses she was in a graphic film (53:31)
• “And it was Christmas Eve. This is crazy, the story.” – Ben recapping Missy's trauma (55:05)
• “I’d like to block the—block my brain right now. This is just so boring.” – Ben during trauma roundtable (57:15)
• “You get social capital based off your trauma...but just that Kimmy is everyone’s inside voice.” – Ronnie (57:15)
• "When people start opening up too much, I just find it disingenuous." – Kimmy (66:18)

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NOTABLE SEGMENTS – TIMESTAMPS

• [02:19] – Concerns about cast chemistry, love for the “acid” wit of the reboot
• [05:24] – The London neighborhoods montage
• [10:17] – Recap: last night’s party, Dara’s duplicity, Kimmy’s “flush the toxic one” strategy
• [17:06] – Martha’s storage unit scene, emotional disarray, Margot’s “tough love”
• [26:03] – Lottie’s baby shopping, poppers, family wealth “sob story”
• [33:32] – Kimmy at pottery with kids, reveals traumatic childhood
• [38:00] – Micah and Dara’s “circle of denial” confrontation at coffee shop
• [44:45] – Road trip to vineyard, wine tasting, “trauma Olympics” roundtable
• [53:53] – Missy’s graphic retelling of her brother’s murder
• [66:18] – Kimmy debriefs: wariness of forced vulnerability, pushes back against Missy’s narrative

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ANALYSIS & HOST TONE

• The hosts maintain their classic blend of affectionate mockery and genuine empathy, oscillating between laughing at cast foibles and recognizing when reality TV exploitatively “forces trauma” for emotional content.
• They joke about “trauma Olympics” and the “circle of pain,” but highlight Kimmy as the “audience surrogate” for not wanting every party to turn into a group therapy session.
• Both Ben and Ronnie express their admiration for how this reboot of Ladies of London deftly balances darkness with razor-sharp humor: “The show is also going to cut through with a dose of acid...we are gonna still be funny in these moments.” (70:47)

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FINAL THOUGHTS

The episode is hailed as a prime example of Bravo at its best—where pathos and parody co-exist and self-aware humor provides relief even in the heaviest moments. Kimmy’s unapologetic candor is celebrated, even as the hosts question the show's “forced vulnerability” trope and the possible producer manipulation behind it. Despite the trauma dump, the cast (and Ben & Ronnie) ensure Ladies of London remains essential, hilarious viewing.

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For more laughs, shade, and exhaustive episode break-downs, listen to Watch What Crappens wherever you get your podcasts!

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Transcript

[A]

Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[B]

Well, hell. Donker Shane darling. Donker Shane. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Welcome to watch what CR Everybody. It is Ladies of London Day. It's a Friday. Season 4, Episode 3. We're so excited to be here. If you want this on video or you want bonus episodes or you want Discord server, or you want to just talk to us, or you just want to hug, go to patreon.com watch whatcrappens. You can also sign up there for a very free blog post that goes up every week recapping the week in Bravo in a very fun, delightful way. We'll be at south by Southwest this week, so hopefully we'll have a bon or something about that next week for you. In the meantime, Ben, how are you?

[A]

Well, I couldn't be any better because it's Ladies of London Day. I'm so excited for that. Also, by the way, it's the last time you're going to hear us talk about this. The very last time. The very, very last time. Kizwi, get your replay of the crappies. Today's the last day. That's why. So watch it tonight.

[B]

Friday.

[A]

Have spend your Friday night watching it because after tonight, you will never be able to watch it again.

[B]

That's gone dead and buried.

[A]

But that's.

[B]

Yeah. List of winners over on our Instagram.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but I am great.

[B]

At least the winners. We never release a list of the winners. Why don't we do that? We should have like a whole archive of the winners and we should be sending them awards and stuff. I mean, what the hell?

[A]

We are incompetent.

[B]

We'll.

[A]

We'll figure that out. Let's talk about. Talk about how good Ladies of London is. Third episode. It's just. It's so good. Even. Even an episode like this, which was like a heavier, quote, unquote heavier episode, like the fact that there's still so much acid in this show that just cuts right through it is so amazing. I'm absolutely loving this reboot. And it seems like everyone else is. It's like everyone's talking about it.

[B]

You know, I was a little worried at first because during this episode, because there is a lot of kind of slowness and we really do see that the people don't know each other that well. I. They know each other in separate clumps, but we see like, oh, they really don't know each other. They have to have these getting together, you know, getting together to get to know each other. And I thought, oh, danger. Maybe the first two were just a fluke. But then it just got, it got really, really good. And it is extremely dark. And so the stuff we have to talk about gets really dark. And I mean, what are we going to do? I'm just going to go at it as the show does and just laugh anyway, because what are you going to do? I mean, yeah, honestly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But ultimately good. And my new hero. I, of course, love Martha. I think everybody loves Martha. Kimmy is just my sociopath queen. I love Kimmy. And I thought her whole reaction was so me in those situations. Just like, oh, fuck, I have to listen to you now. Everybody has to tell a dead family member story. I mean, it's very me. And I love that she doesn't give a fuck. She's just, by the, by the end of the episode and the previews for next week, she's. She does not care if you don't like her.

[A]

Her.

[B]

She does not care if you disagree. And whether you disagree or don't like her or not, whatever. I just love someone with that kind of confidence in their own personality.

[A]

Yeah, me too. And I love. I, I. This was, this was Kimmy's episode, if like the last episode or so. Whereas, like Martha's episodes, this is Kimmy's moment. She is so hilarious. She's so cutting. And honestly, what she said was exactly how I was feeling watching the episode. I was like, well, this is a tragic story. And I know. I think last week we talked about, or last episode we talk, talked about how we would like to hear more, for instance, about Missy's brother. But at the same time, it's kind of like this is where you decide to do it. And now everyone has to be serious. And we're at such a place in, I think, our society where when people do this, we have to be like, very like, oh, that's terrible. That's terrible. Yeah, okay. No, let's hold space for that. And, but the truth is, I think what we're all thinking is we're here to get some wine and have fun and tell funny stories, and then you're gonna drop this bomb. So I was totally with Kimmy on it. I know it's mean and it's like uncaring and insensitive, but it's also so real. Like, we all know, we all have been in these situations. And then you're in a car driving back home from wherever you were, and you're with your friend and be like, is it me or did she totally kill the conversation? Did so and so just kill the conversation? And like, yes. Oh, my God, I felt that same way too. And that is what Kimmy is for us right now. Yeah.

[B]

All right, well, let's get into it, shall we? Season 4 Episode 3 Whining in the Rain so it starts with everybody talking about London. And Margo's like, it matters so much where you live in London. I mean, something you always say when you meet someone new is like, oh, my God, which part of London do you live in? And when they say their neighborhood, you just know so much about who they are. You know, where else is like that? Everywhere. Everywhere.

[A]

Like in New York, you could just say where you live, and people are like, but what does that say? I don't understand anything about you when you say that you live in Brooklyn Heights. Kimmy's like, well, I've lived in Belgravia for 20 years now, and I'm. Now I'm in Chelsea and it's become quite expensive. But I love says Chelsea equals affluent.

[B]

Well, I lived in Knightsbridge, right by Chelsea, Mayfair, Notting Hill. You're right in the middle of the ar. Knightsbridge, luxury.

[A]

And then latte is like, I live in Islington and Hackney, which is mostly arty people and creatives. Whereas I would say, if you're in Kensington or Notting Hill, people are a bit more interested in material things. So Hackney is artsy. Which, by the way, if you want

[B]

to live well in la. Oh, go ahead, Ben.

[A]

No, it's gonna be like, I love that Lottie is doing the whole. We are. We don't care about material things as much. I'm like, your entire. Your entire occupation is about material things. Tailoring, high end suits. That's material things. Yes.

[B]

Missy says, if you want to live well in London, I recommend find a rich husband. Notting Hill, boho chic. Then we see Micah walking around a flea market type thing, and she sees an antique phone and picks it up and she's like, hello, London calling. Oh, God, you're so American. Just stop it.

[A]

This is the second time in a row.

[B]

So embarrassing.

[A]

The show's not even gonna bother saying where she lives. Like, we won't just. She's American. We won't do that.

[B]

You've got ketchup on your face. God, what are you eating your Happy Meal at the thing? Come on, America.

[A]

So Micah tells us, Portobello Market is one of my favorite places in all of London. So many antique phones. Where you can just pick up a receiver and say, hello, London calling. It's very British. And then there's all these vintage shops. You can buy vintage earrings, and you can buy cameras, and you can buy literally almost anything. Almost anything. It's so cool. It never get. Yeah, it's old. They're like, please, please, lady, leave our beautiful market. Go away. Get out of our. You're dropping down the property values.

[B]

There's nothing that said. There's no T shirts here that say London on them. Please move along, tourist. So Lottie and Kimmy come up, and Lod's like, what have you found? And Kimmy's like, nothing. What else would we find in a place like this? Some opera glasses maybe? I use some opera glasses sometimes. I do have a pair of those, actually. I do. I just bring them for Luke.

[A]

I love Lottie. I think Lottie does not want to be here. She looks around. She goes, oh, telescopes. Like, there's material things. Who needs them? So Lottie's like, well, I guess upper glasses are pretty good for the races. Yes. And, yeah, I just have them for the look. So Micah's like, guys, you want to get some coffee? You want to get some coffee? Oh, my God. London calling, and they want me. Need caffeine. How much longer do we have to shoot with this American? I don't know. Just give it about half an hour. We'll get a cocktail. It'll be more bearable.

[B]

They cross the street like me. They just walk right into it. And Micah's like, oh, my God, be careful. And Lonnie says, well, they need to stop with pedestrians walking right out in the middle of the road. That's how I do it, too. So they go to the Notting Hill Bakery in order. And I'm just like, where's Hugh Grant? Because I, too, am an American. So I just know that Notting Hill is where Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts fell love.

[A]

Well, I am just hoping that Julia Roberts can run into someone there who's holding an incredibly bright orange glass of orange juice. Because that's what I always remember from that movie is that, like, doesn't she, like, spill the orange juice on him at one point? And it's like, fake orange juice for. Because it has to, like, pop on camera. So there's, like, orange paint, basically, on his shirt. And I was like, that's not real orange juice. That's, like, the image that's, like, seared in my mind from that movie.

[B]

That's what you left with some Lottie's like, okay.

[A]

Asking the girl to have more realistic orange juice.

[B]

Can we please get some more realistic proper? Okay. Julia deserves better, guys. So I just liked Lottie's order because, I don't know, she's so beautiful and like so tiny. And she's like, I'll have a white chocolate with raspberry croissant, please. And I was like, that is just not fair. Come on, man. And Micah's like, why don't we get a ham and cheese croissant and a quiche? And I'm gonna blame it all on you because you're pro pregnant.

[A]

I feel like there, right there, is the difference between like, British and American. British is white chocolate and raspberry and American ham and cheese croissant. I don't know, it just felt so, like, blah. And of course I would want the ham and cheese over the white chocolate and raspberry, cuz I'm murdered.

[B]

Hell no. So they sit down and Kimmy's like, well, I mean, I had a lot to drink last night. And Lottie's saying, well, you needed more alcohol last night with everything that happened. She's like, oh, well, Tommy, last night was very strange because when all of this kicked off and then we see a flashback to last night and Dara's friend being like, you're speaking about a person with that person in the room and you're telling her to talk about other people. Missy's like, tell the truth. You tell the truth.

[A]

Well, Micah, I was expecting you to say something. Micah's like, I was in shock. Honestly, I was like, shock calling from London. Just remember this call back to when I was playing with the phone. You guys saw. Do you guys me do that bit with the phone? It was hilarious. Anyway, I was in shock and just. I was just kind of like absorbing it. And I just, I wanted to hear what Missy had to say. Well, I felt bad for Missy because I think she got blamed for being the messenger. So we see Missy like getting into a fight with Dara and everything at that party, etc, and they once again, like, they do it like three times this episode. They show Dara saying, I didn't see those things. Five minutes later, I send those things.

[B]

I said, this is D. So back to present lot. He's like, well, she was being made to look out like crazy and you were stuck in the middle. So I felt for Missy and I feel really sorry for you. And Dara should really own up to the shit she's been saying and stop running around denying it because it's just false Yeah, I mean, just say it to my face. I mean, just say I'm basic and stupid and you hate me. Why can't people just say things to my face? I really think the upsetting part is that I heard it from friends over the years that Dara's spoken bad about me, but I didn't want to believe it. And God, the Missy, of all people, just kind of confirmed everything. I just hoped it wasn't bad. True.

[A]

Well, I thought you handled it well, to be honest. Thank you. Because I teach poise. So in that moment, it was. I was practicing what I preach, and it's not always what you do, but it's like the composure in the moment for me, and that is the strength. It's like, oh, yes, by the way, you have a bit of ham and cheese hanging on off of your chin. Oh, I'm so sorry. So Kimmy's like, well, good on Micah for, like, being polite, but, like, then why would you cry over a friend like that? She's hideous. Get rid of her. I always say when someone's horrible or toxic, just flush. Fl, Floss, floss, floss, floss, floss, floss, floss, floss, floss, floss.

[B]

I mean, if they're horrible and toxic, they have to at least be funny. She should have reached out to you already and apologized. Why are we still talking about this? I can. I'm smelling the ham and cheese from here, darling. It's like, well, actually, I just missed a call.

[A]

Well, we have to assume it's not your husband, because he probably doesn't want to call you, right? So I'm assuming that's Sarah, Right? There's only two people who'd ever call you, right?

[B]

I mean, if I was her, I'd be embarrassed. I mean, awful, awful, awful. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial. So then we see a flashback of last night where Margo's like, I want to be privy to what Micah thinks and feels. And Micah's like, I'm hurt. I'm hurt, okay? I'm just hurt. And we come back and she goes, well, I was embarrassed. And. Ls like, you have nothing to be embarrassed of, darling. Nothing at all. You didn't do anything. Anything at all. If you should be embarrassed as to be such a wimp. That was embarrassed. That was embarrassing. Fine.

[A]

Well, I always love to give people benefit of the doubt, and this time, I guess I just. I don't know. And so Kimmy's like, well, I. I think because you come across a little bit too genuine. People take advantage, which is not a bad thing. But you've got to be careful. I don't know. I. I always say I. I don't make. Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. No, no, no. We just mistake your kindness for stupidity. That's it. It's very simple.

[B]

Yeah, well, for my own mental kind of well being, I want to talk to Tara. I want to hear from Dara. I want to give Dara the things. And to tell me the truth, I want to say, this is Dara. This is Dara. Well, you know what you could do? You could say, listen, we have to have a chat, but I want to do it by walky talky.

[A]

Everyone's like, could someone get the Americans out of the pastry shop, please? So Missy is. She's staging her apartment.

[B]

Of course she is. This is so Missy. She's like a sage. I'm a sage.

[A]

I feel like Missy is kind of a faker. And like, I. Like, this was the episode. We were supposed to feel profound sadness and empathy for Missy, but I'm like, so team Kimmy that, like, now I'm like, she just. She just brings the party down. She. She arranged that entire trip just that way. She could tell her sob story and make people be like, oh, my God, Missy. And like, as. Like, as was noted, is a legitimate, very serious sob story. But I'm kind of like, she ruined the fun. I hate her now.

[B]

Yeah, well, you know, she is a Real Housewives of Cheshire or a Real Housewife of Cheshire. Did you know that?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Did you bring that up last week? I think maybe I did.

[A]

I think I actually told you that.

[B]

Yeah, you did tell me. Sorry. Yeah. So, you know, that's. She's gonna bring it all out. She knows the game, so she's like, okay, here we go. Episode one, Trauma, you know? So she talks about how hard she works to live in London, and she used to have these big homes and cars because she was married to rich dudes. And now she's got a small apartment, but it's her own. And her son's off living with the dad, and she just has it for her and her daughter. And she looks around and she says, you know what? I did that. Oh, no, that's that black mark on the carpet. I did that too. It was the sage. Very positive carpet.

[A]

So Missy FaceTimes Kimmy, and she's like, hi, you look gory. She's like, well, I want my sunglasses because I'm a bit pissed which means drunk for all the Americans.

[B]

And miss, like, we get a chiron for all the words. It's like pissed equals British slang for intoxicated.

[A]

I know they had to do it a lot this episode. Missy's like, oh, I'm a bit hungover, to be honest with you. Well, I'm both. Well, so I called you because

[B]

I'm both. I'm pissed out. I'm hungover.

[A]

Well, I called you because I would love to invite you to a day out in London in the beautiful vineyard where I could make you feel very sad about something, say, oh, great. And so now she's calling everyone, inviting them to go to the winery. She's got cars. I could pick everyone up. And latte is like, you know, for a pregnant person. What. What am I. Am I going to do at a fucking winery? It's awful. Well, it's really nice for you to come out to London, you know, have some fresh air. Pregnant people like fresh air, right? She's like, okay, fine, I guess I'll do that, so.

[B]

Well, it's gonna suck for you wherever you go. There's nowhere to find, nowhere fun to go when you can't drink, you know?

[A]

Well, I think that because of what happened at Dara's dinner, it felt like I was a bit of a drama queen. And there's no way to make people feel like you're not a drama queen than gathering them all together, making everyone laugh and stopping laughter by telling dramatic story of childhood. And by childhood, I mean a few years ago.

[B]

So Kimmy's like, well, how much am I allowed to drink? That's my question. She's like, as much as you want. Just control yourself. Good luck with that. So then Martha arrives at a storage facility, and she's like, hello, I've come to access my units. And the guy's like, okay. So he brings her to the unit, and they have to bring down this big, giant wooden storage unit thing with a crane. And he's opening it. She goes, okay, can I see what hats I've got in there? He's like, you can indeed. Could you just. Why don't you just go in there? Go look for the box that says Hats. Just go through the storage unit, lady. I'm not your hat master.

[A]

So she's going through this. This big collection of hats. She's like, I've had some wonderful times in these hats. Look at just. Lots of. Just running around London and picking up anything with them. Fun and attractive. So Margo shows up, and Margo's Wearing this, like, enormous, kind of like black, almost like garbage bag, but chic, like, coat. And she's on a bike, so it's all like. The air is like her whole coat is, like, puffed up in the air. So she's just like this big entity just arriving. But then when she gets off the bike, the entire thing deflates. And so she's just wearing this big, saggy trench coat kind of thing. And she's like, you know, you never know what weather you're going to get in London. I have a coat on just in case. Although it's pretty big. Holy. This is where storage units keep their storage. I'm your storage unit's favorite storage unit. Hashtag chapelroan.

[B]

Well, you know, I've just. I was destitute and poor bloody less after my divorce. But this is not the first time I've rebuilt. But hopefully this time I'll get it right. Hot blink. Hard blink. Smile through the pain. Smile through the pain.

[A]

So Martha's saying, I want my things back. I want to walk into my place and feel like I'm at home. Just feel the warm trickle of a leak coming through the ceiling and the rosy scent of black mold in the walls. That's what I want.

[B]

This was Polly's hat. I can't get rid of Polly's hat. But why don't you just keep one or two of Polly's hats and then you can get rid of the rest of Polly's hats. Oh, you know, she's dead. It's not like I'm going to get any more Polly stuff.

[A]

I had two sisters, and now I have one sister. My elder sister died by suicide in 2013. She had bipolar disorder. I loved her enormously, but my relationship with her was complicated. It was a very challenging relationship. So then. Then we cut from that to her wearing her dad's fez. She has this big fez on her head, and she's just, like, crying. She's like, God, I miss him. I was like, this is very sad. And, like, this is very sad. And I would be also crying in the same situation. But the fact that she's sitting there crying in a giant fez was sort of a funny image to me, was

[B]

just the whole image. She's like, daddy's fence. And then she brings out this boat. She's like, daddy, sailboat. So she's holding this boat wearing a fence. And Margo's like, well, you know, Martha. I mean, lives have big ups and downs. You've had big, big, big ups. You know, and so I. You know, your ups have been more than most people can dream of. Yes. But I've been down for quite a long while. Really? Playing with the boat and the fez.

[A]

I can't. You know, it just feels like such a failure to not have my life more together at 45. And I don't really know how to get out of this down. Okay, I know. Listen, this is part of moving out of it, though, right? Because you have a safe new home. Emphasis on safe. Right. Well, I don't know how safe it is because I've given my keys to a stranger.

[B]

Given my keys to a stranger. And we see her on the phone with Kimmy. And Kimmy's like, are you sure he was even a builder? Just. No, it gets creepier. He's like, I'm not doing the job. And I said, we'll drop back my keys. Wait a minute. You gave him your house keys, darling.

[A]

So, back to present. Margaret goes, so tell me exactly what happened. Did you get any references from this guy? Martha's crying. She goes, no, I didn't get any references. Did you get any pictures of the work you'd done before? No. Oh, God. Martha.

[B]

And Martha, you gave him keys to your house? Yes. And she's holding this boat in the fez. She's like, yes, I gave her the keys to my house. Emergo goes, what the fuck is going on with her? I mean, she has serious life experience that has told her, you cannot trust strangers. And then we see the headline. Martha has to move after man makes choking sounds as she walks home at night. And Margot's like, well, who knows if he even made copies of the keys? Margo. And she's like, I don't know. I don't know, Martha.

[A]

I'm sitting here feeling sorry for you, and now I'm looking at you thinking, are you doing this on purpose?

[B]

No, I'm not.

[A]

I'm scared to be there. But I'm not gonna be thrown out of my house by another match. No, no, no. You're not being gonna be thrown out of your house by another man. You're gonna be thrown out of your house by you. Seriously. Seriously, though, if you're gonna keep acting like this, I'm gonna have to take a step back from our friendship.

[B]

What was this? She just starts yelling at this crying woman in her dad's fez with the boat. She's yelling at her. I was like, what are you doing? It's like, no, please, Margo, don't. She goes, no, no. If I Have to come to your fucking house and find your dead body. I mean, who do you think would do. What do you think that would do to us? What do you think that would do to us, Margot?

[A]

Now I gotta take care of your magpie. Oh, do take care of Hecate. Hecate. Hecate. Please take care of my sweet little bird. Please, I beg of you. If I die. No, I'm not gonna take care of your bird. And even your bird is mad at you, okay? And by the way Martha looks despite all this, Martha somehow looks so chic in her stripes and she sort of has like shoulder pads or whatever and like this high waisted pants. She's just as like chic and crying and Margot's just like berating her. It was. I was like, I don't want to

[B]

become one of those horrible people just because the world has been cruel to me. I just refuse. I'm sorry. I will not be a person that refuses to give. A strange homeless man has keys when he needs them.

[A]

You don't have to be cruel not to be a victim. You have to care about yourself more than than other people. Well, that's really hard muscle to exercise when you've never done that. Look, I've always been nice to you. And no matter what, I cannot be this close to someone who's on a suicide mission. I was like, margo, can we change up that verbiage, please? But if you keep act. But if you keep acting like this, you're just going to be dead with nothing to show for it. And I'm going to say, oh, my friend Martha. I loved her so much.

[B]

I know.

[A]

You have waited your whole life for someone to take care of you and they never showed up.

[B]

You had.

[A]

Listen to me, Martha, listen to me. I was like, please slap her. I was like, please take this to the campy space that it deserves to be. Give her a slap across the face.

[B]

You know, she almost did. I was like, I'm surprised she didn't take that boat and just throw it down. Martha's like, no, Daddy. So long, daddy.

[A]

Shake her by the shoulders. You know, do the whole thing.

[B]

Stop it, Martha, you stop crying.

[A]

I'm listening.

[B]

I'm learning.

[A]

But it's tough learning curve, Margo. I'm trying. I'm just not very good at me. It makes me so angry. It makes me so angry that I trust these fucking people. And then they're horrible. By the way, do you have a car? I gave mine to a random person on the street.

[B]

So she tells us, yes, Margot. Hardlink hard link can be quite hot Link critical of me. But I know that she does it because she wants me to be my best version. And everything she's saying is correct. I. I do have to grow up. But sometimes it's. It's just this. It's tough to take.

[A]

I'm angry this time, Margo. And I'm not angry with you. I understand why you're angry with me. I promise I'm not taking this one. Guess what? I'm donating the fez to charity. Goodbye, young fez.

[B]

Say please. Please.

[A]

Margo.

[B]

Marcus, like, okay, you are sobbing now. Come here. Come here and hug me. I got what I needed out of you. Some tears. Now come here. I love you so much. I love you so much. I'm sorry I yelled at you. Please get your hands off my keys. No, you cannot. They won't work for your house. They will not work for your house.

[A]

Please paint the wall, though. Could you paint it, please?

[B]

I was an idiot. I've been a freak. I don't need the keys. I've left the door unlocked. Margo or Martha?

[A]

So now Lottie, who does not care about material things, goes walking with her mom to go shopping. So she's like, thank you for coming down, mom, to do a bit of baby shopping. I haven't really got much. So they arrive at a place called Luna and Curious. And she walks into this baby shop and she's like, hello. So we're sort of pregnant. It's like, you don't say you're at a baby shop. The employees like, oh, congratulations. You're not. You're not the first person never hear that. Yes, I. You know, the Americans say it's not my first time at the rodeo, but that doesn't make sense to us out here. So let's make up. It's not my first crumpet I've bitten into.

[B]

Well, we're just looking for some baby boots, really. She's like, oh, right. Well, there's a lovely baby section just through that way. Crawl there. Let me know if you need anything. You lose us. So her and her mom. Her and her mom go in and her mom is Teeny others. I know we bring up teenage others a lot, but her mom is like, teeny Others. From what's. From. What is it?

[A]

Family Ties.

[B]

Family Ties. And she's got bangs from the middle of her head all the way down to her eyes. She's got the longest. I'm obsessed with her bangs.

[A]

Committed to bringing back Mad Men hairstyles. She's like, my name is Jane, and I believe that I should look like Joan from Mad Men. So she's got Joan's bouffant and bangs. So Lottie is like, someone said to me, you shouldn't get anything with more than three poppers. So poppers mean buttons in snap. Buttons in British. So they're counting poppers all around, and they're like, look, look, this one. This one has 1, 2, 3. And then Jane goes, 4, 5, where. That's a bit ruined. Unfortunately, we can't be getting that little jumper because there's too many papas.

[B]

It's a papa orgy in here. Move it on. Move it on. She's like, I love my mom. We're really close. And honestly, I think my shopping addiction started with her because she would take me to the mall and we would buy loads of stuff as a little girl. It was just her fault.

[A]

I'm telling you, ma', am, you literally started the episode saying that you live where you live because you don't care about material things. And now you're talking about your shopping addiction. Get it together.

[B]

So Lottie's asking her what she was dressed in as a baby, and she's like, oh, easy things to get on and off, darling. You know? She's like, I feel like I started dressing myself quite early. Oh, you did, darling. I've always been interested in fashion. As a young kid, I would come down the stairs in my house, and my dad would say, oh, having fun with your fashion again? Always,

[A]

Lottie. You know he was being sarcastic, right? She's like, I was supportive from an early age by my father, who appreciated my love of fashion. I was like, no. He's like, oh, congratulations, you're wearing your pants as your shirt again, Lottie. Having fun with fashion again?

[B]

He would always say things to my mother like, oh, are we letting her dress herself for school again this morning?

[A]

Mother, all the other girls are telling me to get a night nurse, and that's the only way you can sleep. I just sort of think. Think I want to give it a go. Oh, dare to dream, Lottie. She's like, but then give it a go. She's like, well, but then I'll just call you when I need help. So Jane is like, oh, I see. I thought that Lottie was saying that she was like, gonna hire a night nurse. She's like, guys, I'm gonna hire a night nurse. I was like, okay. But I guess, no, she's saying she's not going to.

[B]

Yeah, she's gonna try not Having a night nurse and she's. She'll just use her mom because she's free. And she's like. And I'm hoping Dad as well will get involved in things. She goes, oh, yes, especially if you come and stay. Yes, I plan, I plan to a lot. Because, you know, you've got a lovely home now, mother. I was like, oh, no, what was wrong with their home before? Seems like we do time for some

[A]

backstory where I learned some more British terminology that I did not know and I love. So she says, my dad worked his way up from becoming an engineer to being a director and then a CEO. But then in 2008, we had the financial crash and a lot of people were made. Made redundant. And I was like, made redundant? And it says that in. That's British for being laid off. And I think that is so hilarious. Like, I'm sorry, but we're going to make you. You're redundant now.

[B]

You've been made redundant. I mean, laid off as offensive enough. But of course, leave it to them to make it even snottier. Like, I'm sorry, you've been made redundant.

[A]

You are redundant, unfortunately. So just think about that while you have no income.

[B]

So she goes, but with that came a very lucrative redundancy pay. It's like, yes, yes, redundancy pay. Made redundant, laid off. So she says that they were a big middle class family and they went from that to being upper middle class. But there's a class system in the UK and, you know, it's. It's as much as who you're born into or born out of of. You know what I mean? But you don't just necessarily move up because you've got more money. I think the term they would use for us is nouveau riche.

[A]

This is the craziest sob story of all time. My dad climbed his way to the top of the corporate ladder and he went from just like a lowly engineer and he became a CEO. But we lost it all in the financial crisis. Actually, we didn't lose it all. He had, like an amazing severance and it was so good that we just lived the rest of our lives astoundingly wealthy. I was like, okay, yeah, I thought

[B]

this was a happy story, right?

[A]

It was. It was like, because we're so used to our family had it all and then we lost it all in the recession and we couldn't find a job again. It was just really cruel. And it was just so sad to see my father, who had worked so hard and now he's spent the last 10 years just sort of in a funk. It was like, no. And he had a great golden parachute, and we've been living very well since then.

[B]

And now he's rich. Rich as hell, I tell you.

[A]

Yeah, we're like, you know, like, if it weren't for the caste system, we'd be like, just hella up there in British society, you know?

[B]

So they talk about the husband, Joshua, and the mom's like, so do you think now Joshua is going to be looking after the baby? You know, she hates Joshua. And Marty's like, well, he's very sweet with the cat. She goes, well, that's a bit different than a cat then, isn't it? It's a baby. Do cats have bangs? I don't think so. It's like, well, but he, you know, he does. He does the litter trays Disney. She's like, well, that's good practice. Now let's just hope your baby can find some gravel to poop into.

[A]

And of course they have a hairless cat. Like, I would never expect them to have any cat that has hair. Like, of course they get like the. The most sleek and slender cat of them all.

[B]

Yeah, we've got to get the artist cat. What says artist more than a hair?

[A]

He works so much. I said to him, you know, you might want to think about taking the first two weeks off at work. And then that was an absolute no. Oh, so he's not going to do his six months paternity leave? Just. No, exactly. No leave at all. I was like, okay, here we go. Here come the issues.

[B]

Well, you know, Joshua, like, he loves to work. That's his other baby. I hope he can take time away from that baby to spend time with our baby. And mean, the positive note is he's already taken care with her name. He's already named her Helena Bonham Carter, sir.

[A]

And then we see. We see that they basically pay $467American for the baby clothes, which is, you know, what I'd expect in the show. But also, if Joshua's not going to help with the baby, could he at least make some baby clothes? I mean, he's.

[B]

That's.

[A]

This is his. This is his job, you know, so they pay him. And now we go to Kimmy with her two kids, and they arrive at a place called Pitta Potter, and it's basically like Color Me Mine, but in London. And so it has a better name. And they sit down to paint some pottery.

[B]

So they're figuring out what they're gonna paint And Kimmy's like, oh, little piggy banks. Look at the owl. Mimi, I think you should pick one of these. And Amadeus is like, I want to buy you a vase. And she's like, oh, thank you. And he decides to do a burger. And the daughter's gonna do a vase. And she's like, well, I'm a pretty hands on mom because Mimi, obviously, she's on the spectrum, so she's behind people on a lot of things. So I try to bring her into anything that's hands on. And she enjoys that because she's a really lively character when she's enjoying something. And she's got a heart of gold. And let me tell you, this kid can take down a punch box of wine like a sailor.

[A]

And then Mimi says, like, I'm going to do a vase just for mom because mom broke it. She. Well, actually, I think your dad broke my vase. And I'm like, no, he didn't. Like, yes, he did. Theini vase that I spent a lot, a lot of money on. The good news is Mimi's making me another one. It's a good thing I have you, Mimi. But yes, don't never forget, it was your father who broke the vase. The expensive, expensive vase.

[B]

Oh, don't you remember? It's your father who broke the vase. Now granted, it was broken with his head as I slung it on top of it, but still it was his head that broke the vase. Watch your mouth.

[A]

Watch your goddamn father doesn't get extra clams on family dinner night. You know, Stuart and I, you know, we've had a lot of ups and downs, which is the theme of the episode. Ups and downs. Like a lot of ups and downs. But I just kind of try to move on and try to turn the page. I mean, only, only because I know the experience of when two parents have a very fractured relationship. And so then she tells us that she comes from a horrific breakup family. And she says that her mother blamed she and her brother for everything, for the divorce, which was weird because they were kids. And so when she was 10 or 11, her father took them and they went off to live in Haiti. And because her father was associated with the people and the regime of Duvalier in business. And so then they were in Haiti and then they moved to Miami. And she, like, didn't talk to her mom for 10 years, years. And her parents never talk to each other.

[B]

Her story is just. And just how she tells it. She's like, yeah, then we went to Haiti and, you know, he was with the Duvaliers in business ways. Get a picture of the. Get a picture of the Porsche. Okay. Yeah. And then my mom playing bastard. Didn't talk to that for 10 years. And, you know, they never spoke again.

[A]

This woman, I. I was not expecting. The story was Miami and Haiti. I was expecting, you know, well, you know, I was in Branch, Connecticut. Then I went to school up at Hotchkiss. And then after that, you know, I did Sarah Lawrence, and then, you know, found my way over here to London. Did some time in St. Andrews. No, it was just like, I was in Haiti and Miami. I was definitely, definitely not expecting that.

[B]

Yeah, well, yeah, I think my mother had her own personal issues, but she was young and she was in her 20s. She was probably angry, you know, realized she married the wrong guy. Been there, lost a vase over it. But, yeah, I don't. I don't feel like, you know, any strong maternal presence in my life. When I was young, that's probably why I didn't want to have kids. I don't want to them up.

[A]

Okay, well, Mimi, good job. Mimi's like a Jackson Pollock over here. Am I right?

[B]

Oh, she's got that mother critical.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

I love that, like, bit of critical stuff that slow seeks in. And the kid's like, I'm having fun, mom. She goes, oh, that's what counts. She's terrible at this. That's terrible.

[A]

Wow. I can't wait to hide this vase in the back and just say that your father broke it again.

[B]

Here comes one right now.

[A]

So now we go to Micah. She goes to Chestnut Coffee Shop, and she orders a latte, and she sits down with dun, dun, dun. This is Dara. Wow. Dara's already back. And I loved how excited I was. I was like, normally when someone leaves the show, it's then not until the next season or like, at the season finale that we circle back to them, and it's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. A confrontation with Dara. But we're like, nope, we're getting right back into it.

[B]

Yeah, I was really excited to see her, too. I was like, well, maybe they got her to unquit or something.

[A]

I was like, I was not expecting a bonus Darra scene. So Dara's son Micah comes up. They're both wearing cream, and Micah comes up to greet her. And Dara goes, oh, my God. I was literally posting an Instagram post. I'm like, great. Thank. Great story, Dara.

[B]

Micah goes, just now? No, Micah, no. I mean, I kind of see what Dara's saying about Micah, like, seriously, I was posting an Instagram. You were like, right now? Yeah, because like, I've been waiting here forever. You ordered something. She's like, I did. Did I got a vanilla latte. The ush. It's me. I'm angry. I'm in my angry lady hat. I'm in my revenge hat. So, yeah, see what you have to say about it. There's Dara. That's a good friend. And then there's the side of Dara that I'm learning really fast, I can't trust. Like, when did she do that Instagram story? Nobody knows.

[A]

Which, of course, it turns out mentioning the Instagram story was just a highlight, that she was there at first and waited. So Dara's like, so, how's it going? She's like, well, I don't feel great. After we last saw each other, I feel like I've been holding on to that. Have you really? Oh, that's such a non public facing person thing to do. Wow. Wow, that's so sad for you to have to hold on to that. But I guess it's kind of all you have, right? Since your husband's never around. Did I say too much? Oops.

[B]

And so we see all these flashbacks, mostly of Dara just being. I never said those things. And then to production, I did say those things. So then back to present, Dara's like, well, I mean, it's really just not that big of a deal. Like, you think, what's a big deal is she had to say in front of all those people. I mean, that's what the issue is, you know, like, why did you have to embarrass me like that? She goes, but you can imagine my shock. But could you imagine my shock?

[A]

Expertly making it about her? Wow, they really let this one fall through the crack. She is, wow. Micah's like, well, I mean, but like, I was the one in the moment where I. Where it was like the negative things were being said about me, and I was really just. I just was not only shocked, but I was like, so hurt. And I was just like the person that I would have wanted to lean across the table, to hug, to be like, protect me, was like the person that was saying the things that they were coming from. She was like, do stick up for you all the time. She's like, yeah, that's what friendship is. That's what friendship should be. She's like, I know. And I stuck up for you that night at the T. Moon, remember? And I. I Got to that seat, that moment where Dara doesn't know what else to say. She goes, micah's my sister. My cringy, walkie talkie buying sister. And I absolutely love the walkie talkies so much that I threw them in the trash because I was afraid I would be so distracted by my love for them.

[B]

Okay, but I'm just telling you how I felt. Yeah, I get it. But, like, I felt the same way. Oh, okay. But like, you're. You. You shouldn't have told her that stuff. Do you understand? But I didn't tell her, babe. I didn't. I mean, she was just like. She just happened to make up stuff about walkie talkies using the word cringe.

[A]

I feel like Dara had such an easy out here. She could have been like, oh, I was just joking. I was like, oh, my God. You know, Micah can be so cringe. Walkie talkies. But then it turns out it's actually, like, really sweet. And, like, that's what I love about her. Like, there's so many, like, ways you can, like, you can spin it, because I think that Micah just wants that. Because Micah would be like, oh, my God. Yeah, I know. I totally am cringe. Like, that. That is me. Like, I'm not denying that, but, like, I'm also authentic. No, and that's what I love about you. Because, like, we need people who are just like, give fun gifts like that. Like, it was taken out of context. But Darren, like, does not even try. She's like, no, I never said that. I never said that.

[B]

And her defense is even. It makes it even worse because she goes, did I say anything directly to me missy? No, she obviously overheard it. Okay, so you've been saying to other people that she's cringe and embarrassing. You have no reason not to trust me. I mean, Christ's sake, you know me. You know me.

[A]

I don't even know how to respond to that. You know? Cuz I've come to this table to find out what the authentic story and truth is here. And it's only denial, defensiveness and deflection. The three magical Ds. So Micah's like, I just. I want to feel now more than ever. I need to feel safe in our friendship. Right? Yeah, but it, like, goes both ways too. See, like, I'm really committed to making me somehow the victim of this situation. So.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, it should go both ways, you know? And, you know, we should feel safe. I have your back. You have my back. Like, do you feel like I've Always had your back. Just. Yeah. And I hope that you feel like I've always had your back. She's like, oh, my God. Said, I can't. It's like it's going in circles. So she tries again, and she just keeps trying, and it's so funny. It's like going up against a wall. My Dara just keeps going. But me too, though, babe. Me too. And so finally, Dara's like, we're going in circles.

[A]

But she's funny because it's. Dara's the one in the circle, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, she somehow makes it seem like Micah's the one in the circle. Like, it's so.

[B]

It's so good. And Dara's like, anyway, like, I love you, and, like, I don't want you to be upset. And so Mike is like, I've known each other for teen. Since we're teenagers, but I'm gutted. Gutted, I tell you. Okay, well, I have to get back to work, so I'm sure you have to get back to whatever it is that you're pretending to do for a job. So you go, girl. Love you, Dara.

[A]

The amount of contempt in Dara's eyes where she was like, I'm not gonna let you do this to me. Like, yeah, I did say those things, but. But I'm not gonna admit it. And, like, it was just. She was so condescending. It was. I mean, it was blatantly rude, but it was so funny. It was so funny because Micah, like, did not know what to do with herself.

[B]

Yeah. So now it's 10:23, and Mark pulls up in a car to Missy, and Missy has an umbrella. Oh, it's raining. Oh, London. Am I right? The most wonderful things about Great Britain, the weather, because it's always reliable, reliably ghastly.

[A]

Oh, yes. A good old dose of British weather here, haven't we? And I have not dressed for it. That's too bad. Also, I. I gave my raincoat to a stranger in the park because he said he would paint. Paint a wall for me. And unfortunately, that was about three months ago, so I've been wet for a while now.

[B]

They get into the fanciest cars I've ever seen. The fanciest minivan. I was like, wow, they were so nice. Oh, my God. So they. They all pile into a couple of those.

[A]

It was like train cars. Yeah.

[B]

And Kimmy comes and she's like, oh, I don't mind a little rain, but it's pissing down right now.

[A]

Well, thank God Golly, you've got the wellies. Wellies. Waterproof. Boats. So Emma is waterproof.

[B]

Boots.

[A]

Boots. Boots. What did I say? Waterproof. What did I say?

[B]

Boats. Which is what my mom always called my shoes because they're so big. So in the car, Emma. I'm sure, darling, I just don't want to confuse the audience. Who's going to walk around after the education that they've had of water?

[A]

Craftsproof. Why would I say a waterproof boat?

[B]

No, I was just trying to have your back.

[A]

Oh, darling, if you can't. Ronnie, if. If you don't stop this right now, I'm gonna take a step away from this friendship, okay? Because I am not gonna be like, ronnie is someone that I used to know.

[B]

Well, Paulie is dead. I get any more poly, baby.

[A]

So Emma is there, and she's like, how does one dress for a day at the vineyard in a hurricane? You just got Emma. And Margot is like. She's like, well, I don't even know they had vineyards in England, which, by the way, fun fact. I wish I could remember who told me this, because I hate giving fun facts without being able to give a source. But what I was told is that because of global warming, the wine belt has actually gone north. And so a lot of the vineyards in France are actually having issues. And. And British vineyards are becoming a thing because it's warming up enough that now Britain is part of the wine climate. Now, I don't know if this is true or not, but that's what I heard. And everyone, go tell it at cocktail parties this weekend and see what happens.

[B]

Spread it and tell them. Tell them you learned it on a waterproof boat.

[A]

I mean, look, wine belt written.

[B]

Oh, wine tasting with Kimmy. This is gonna go bad for everyone. No, this is every day of your life. What are you talking about? So they get stuck in traffic. It's 11:41, and they're supposed to be there in, like, an hour, and it takes three. And he's like, but I have to leave it to. On the dot. I mean, imagine we were supposed to get there slightly earlier.

[A]

So, yeah, that's crazy. That took them three hours. I mean, luckily, again, they're in, like, the most luxurious sprinter vans of all time.

[B]

They walk right into this winery, and he goes, all right, everybody, goodbye. I know I'm such a selfish.

[A]

The journey took three times as long as it should have taken, but I really want to be there. But, I mean, heaven knows I love a wine tasting. But this afternoon, I have charity meetings. I work for three charities where my primary responsibility is to walk up to children and ridicule them to their face. And I have to say that will always take precedence over a social event.

[B]

First, I've got to go to the headbands for Cancer with Children, Children with Cancer charity. And then I have to go to the plants for Roly Poly's charity. And then the Helicopters for ladies named Helen. Yeah, it's very, very, very dear to my heart. Carl.

[A]

Sorry, ladies. So this woman named Elaine is like, ladies, welcome to our original vineyard to not two are not drinking alcohol. So here we go. And lattice. Like, oh, I hate being in a winery and not drinking wine smelling. It's even worse because then you get a whiff of it, and then you're like, I just want to drink it. The worst place ever to bring a pregnant woman. They're like, shut up, Lottie. The scene must go on.

[B]

Well, we pair diamonds to sparkling wine because they're two of the best things in the world, so they must be enjoyed together. So I'm going to invite you to try and pair the wine mind we've just tried with one of the gemstones here. That's only one right answer. All right, so Kimmy. Kimmy. Doesn't she like. All right, all right. Diamonds. Okay, well, I would pair this one with your blanc de blanc because it's all chardonnay, and I'd say that was our white champagne. So you're the expert of the group.

[A]

Yes. And I would say that this is your blanc de noir because it's all pinot noir, and so it's all slightly darker, a little murkier, like this. Oh, my goodness. Oh, look at this. Oh, this wine is a very citrusy and freshly baked. It tastes like freshly baked breads. It's like a lemon possum with, like, a fresh creme fraiche at the end, Wouldn't you say?

[B]

Like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. They're like, do you want a job? And Emma says, yes, she needs a job. Emma's here now. Classy Emma. She's like, she does. She needs a job. Don't be fooled by the shocking, outrageously inappropriate sense of humor. She's actually a very intelligent person. Now, can we see the. Can we see clips of her sense of humor? She's like, I don't like a man who can't eat bush.

[A]

You're skinny, you're hot, and I'm not even a lesbian.

[B]

I want to see your boobs. Show me your boobs. My boobs are, like, falling out all the time.

[A]

So yeah, Emma's like, yeah, she's pretty smart actually. So then Kimmy tastes, tastes another drink and she goes, well, it's a bit of guava and Jolly Rancher. Okay, ladies, you're going to sit down and have a lovely meal where all you'll do is laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. Well, great, great. Can we have some more blanc to blanc, by the way, she says blanc to blanc. I feel like 10 times.

[B]

I don't know why it makes me laugh, but every time she says that, I crack out. She's like, okay, well we'll have some more of your sparkling blanc to blanc.

[A]

Wow, it's a real blanc to blanc, kind of.

[B]

Right, Missy? What a great idea. What a gorgeous day. Thanks for having us. And she's like, well, I feel like, because what happened last. You'll see me in this crazy mod because I was so frustrated, you know. Well, I thought you were just like a. A featherweight fighter.

[A]

No, but I mean, I do have the Albanian in me, you know, Cuz I am feisty. I'm very feisty. But I'm not going to lie. I also like the truth. And I've just promised myself from leaving my very toxic relations that I want to show up authentic to everyone and to get to know people on a real basis. And I thought it would be quite nice thing to share a few personal stuff. And then I will share my thing which will be the most serious of all. Okay, so who wants to try to start one upping?

[B]

Me?

[A]

Okay, okay, who goes first? Missy?

[B]

Oh, it's something. It's something serious. How about you go first, Kimmy? Emma. Because she knows she won't do it. So Kimmy's like, well, I'll go first. Fine. All right, well, I have three nipples. I'm just joking. I'm just. Okay, well, I spent a lot of time in Haiti growing up when my parents got divorced. My father's Haitian, so every time I go to Miami with my father and my father's really funny, and there's like a huge shopping mall in Miami and all the ladies in the kiosks are Haitian. And my father says to them, creole. He goes, you know, I found this little white girl in the mall that was funny. And then I turn around and I sing Creole. I'm like, oh, I'm already slept with him. Don't worry, give him a discount. Beat that. Beat that, guys.

[A]

And then she says that like. She says that in Creole on camera. I was like, this speaks Creole. What? It's amazing. Like, I Want to see Kimmy hang out with Kiki on Miami and just see them speak Creole together? Cuz that is like. I was like, oh, my God, this is. Kim's. Amazing. So Micah's like, like, like, oh. She's like, well, my mom's from Boston, my dad's from Barbados, so I'm half Bajan. And I. Growing up, I didn't come from a place where that was normal. I mean, and I. I have a mixed family upbringing. The answer is yes, I did send some walkie talkies to Rihanna. I haven't heard back yet. But it was special to me, and I always felt really proud of that. And I. I didn't grow up with formal manners at all or etiquette. And my career was just like, oh. It came out of a deep insecurity of having no idea what was going on. Are people falling asleep while I'm telling my story? Can we have some more blanc de blanc, please?

[B]

And Margo's like, well, I've just been copying everything you do. I was just eating my fish without my knife. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm not supposed to scoop in. I'm supposed to stab it and put it in my mouth. I just copied you. God, you're so good. By the way. This food that they're eating is gorgeous. It's a piece of fish. I don't know what the is. Even on top of this fish. It's the most beautiful artwork on of top top. It's a beautiful dish. Whatever.

[A]

Gorge. So then Marco's like, okay, my turn. In the early 2000s, I made a movie. At the time, it was the sexiest British film ever made. It was called Nine Songs. And the news of World put out a hotline for anyone who had information about me because. And I became literally like, Hunted Game. And we see a headline that's like, you know, there's like, you know, in the movie, like, there's ejaculation on scene, on camera and everything. And Kim's like, oh, is it like a porn film? Talk about blanc to blanc. I'm like, right? She's like, no, it went to can. It wasn't. It can't be a porn film because it went to can.

[B]

Well, I'm going to have to go a bit more deeper, I think. Okay, everybody. I lost my brother very publicly in London. And they're like, oh, oh, sorry. Wow.

[A]

Margot was just talking about a movie where she caused a guy to ejaculate on camera. And she's like, okay, I lost my brother. Very publicly. I'm like, missy.

[B]

So Martha is like, may I ask what happened? And she says, well, he got shot in London. He got shot. And Martha, everyone's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Geez. And she's like, he was so handsome and beautiful and caring, and he loved everyone. And it was six years ago, and he had two kids. And she's like, basically, he was shot in front of his son. So she tells this story. He was walking home from a nursery with his wife and son, and they were outside the front door. And the wife looks back, and he's getting shot. And the W is banging on the door to throw the baby inside. And it was Christmas Eve. This is crazy, the story. And she's like, it's my first time I ever spoke about it, but myself, you know, because everyone thinks of my family, some crooks, and why did he die? Like, was he a drug dealer? You know, everyone was judging the death. And it's taken me so long to talk about it because I tried to keep it deep in my stomach, but me saying it loud is, like, confirming it happened, you know? And Mike is like, wow. You know, Alex is still in your veins, though. Though he still lives with you. And it just keeps cutting to Kimmy. And Kimmy's face is like, oh, God. Like, she's not really going over the top. She's like, and. And.

[A]

And, like, not liking it. She's, like, giving more details, like, and it was Christmas Eve. They're like, oh, no. And in front of the kids, oh, no. And it's just like, oh, my God. One thing after another. And, like, don't get me wrong, It's. It is 100% a tragedy. And I would never. I would never, like, take that away from Missy. It's a terrible, terrible thing that happened. But you do see Kimmy, and she's like, oh, my God. We're just talking about how Margot made a guy come on camera and now this wall. Geez. So Kimmy, by the way, and this is a very sad parallel to earlier, the original Ladies of London, which also had, like, shadows of underworld crime when Noel's boyfriend was, like, suspiciously fell out of his window and onto, like, a fence down below. But there's, like. There's, like, mob connections.

[B]

True, right? Yeah. Her husband was, like, in the Russian

[A]

mob or something, or allegedly very fishy that happened there.

[B]

So.

[A]

So Kimmy's like, well, this is definitely not the tone I was expecting for a viticulture lunch. I mean, I feel bad for Missy, but It's more than I had anticipated. I mean, how about we talk about something? Something funny, am I right? And she's just like, whoa.

[B]

I started cracking up because it was, I was, it was kind of what I was thinking. Because when you watch these shows, you know, especially in the past decade or so, everything is about your trauma. It's all based, you know, the only way to get anything is like, okay, now it's your time for your drama. And they have to do it on every show. They do it on Big Brother, they do it on Survivor. It's like, oh, my God, I didn't find the rice. And this reminds me of the time when my bike was stolen when I was a child and I was literally run over by a roadrunner, you know, and then it's like. And then the whole time they talk about that. And so it's kind of everyone, you know, getting social capital based off their trauma. And you're just supposed to go along with it, even if it's annoying. You're just supposed to be like, okay, well, that was sad or whatever. But just that Kimmy is like, everyone's inside. For us being like, oh, Jesus, I'm in a wine around to hear about your dead brother. There's also something. Let's talk about shots. Okay, can we get some shots over here? Blanc to blanc?

[A]

I'd like to block the. Block my brain right now. This is just so boring. But there was, you know, I think the thing like that kind of rubbed me the wrong way is like, on the one hand, I think it's. It is actually very nice that she's sharing this, like, very sad chapter in her life. But there was like a little bit of an element of manipulation about it for me. And part of it is probably the producer said, hey, we want you to talk about this. So, like, I can't fully blame her, but I kind of felt like, oh, she set up this whole thing to have this moment where like, everyone's having fun. And then she's like, guys, let me tell you about something very serious to me. And it's like, I don't know, I just felt it. It felt like, I don't know, there was something about the timing of this conversation that felt a little self serving. Maybe I'm just being really callous and unfeeling right now, but it's like what you said, it felt like it was to build social capital in a way that, I don't know, just made me be like, I didn't. I don't know, it didn't sit right with me.

[B]

It seemed like typical reality fodder to me, where they're like, okay, everybody, let's unload our traumas. I just like that, you know, the reaction to it was so rude on, on Kimmy's part. I just especially later here. She wasn't really being rude. Yeah, but it's just, it was nice to see a different reaction. It's just like, oh God, why are we all. Why we all have to talk about our traumas? Can we just have some wine? Wine? Because in real life, that's what you,

[A]

you know, it's like, oh, that's what you're thinking.

[B]

Why are you ruining the wine dinner? So everybody else is really nice and they're like, oh my God, that's so sad. And then Missy then turns to Emma and she goes, aren't you love? That was a big one. Like, good luck. Good luck following me.

[A]

Yeah, there was kind of like a one upsmanship.

[B]

There was.

[A]

It was like a little bit of like that trauma Olympics that happens on reality tv. So it's like, here, now it's your turn, Emma. And I was like, I don't know what to say. My goodness. Well, yeah, because Emma's like, I own long le Safari.

[B]

Is it hard? You struggle sometimes owning rich things? And she's like, yes, it's a huge challenge, you know, I feel a huge responsibility not only to the people of this country, but to the rhinos. And Missy's like, well, especially cuz you're a mom too, you know. You want to talk about that? Oh, yes. Being a mother, I work harder than ever. What?

[A]

Marco's like, what is your husband do? He runs the business. He runs everything, Annie. You do it together. And Kimmy's like, oh, and he's the funniest guy. Yes, he's hilarious, but he's very serious and business minded. Emma's like not giving anything. She's like, it's odd. So.

[B]

So your husband is a duke, is that it? She goes, marquez. Well, I don't know. What's the difference? Because I'm not English, so I don't know the difference. And Kimmy's like, well, it's higher than a duke, I'll tell you that much. And then we see on the screen, it's like of English nobility. Duke, marquess, earl, viscount, baron, baronet. Not higher.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, ew. Correction. So Kimmy's like, well, thank God for Emma. I mean, that was really funny.

[B]

Oh, geez.

[A]

So now Martha's turn. She goes, well, here's my story. I have a white tattoo. I had a sister who killed herself. She was called Polly, and it's the P from a signature. And I wanted it in white, but it. I got it done, like, two or three days after she died. And I just to wanted. I wasn't in a fit state to fight with the tattooist. I was like, oh, okay.

[B]

God. Listening to everyone's sad story. I mean, geez, I need a drink. It's painful.

[A]

Give me some blanc to blanc.

[B]

I wore my shrink.

[A]

Then it got the. Got the lottie. And she goes, well, I want to kind of reciprocate everyone being vulnerable. So about eight years ago, my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. She goes, oh, God. They started him on a miracle drug. It's been eight years now, and he's still with us. Oh, that's amazing. That's amazing. He's like, oh, God, this is inoperable. I mean, this was supposed to be a nice day out, and I felt bad for the vineyard people. I was like, sorry, sorry. We're such drips.

[B]

Well, I think we should have fun now. So let's go have some drinks and several. Great time, Missy. What a great vulnerable lunch. We just loved it. So now one room has champagne pong set up, and then in the other room is Kimmy talking to Margot. Okay, so we start with the beer pong ladies. And they're like, oh, my God, beer pong. It's like beer pong, but, like, with champagne. This is crazy.

[A]

Yeah. And they're talking about beer pong. And Kimmy's like, okay, Margo, we needed to go talk. Okay. Oh, okay. So let's talk. And she's like, my God, that was just, like, way too much. She's like, oh, because of. We had to chat. She's like, I'm eating. Like, this is what. This is like an n. A meeting. Am I right? Narcotics anonymous.

[B]

And Marco's like, well, you know, I mean, it's kind of a big deal saying, oh, God, please. So we go back to champagne pong, and they're talking, and Lottie's like, well, you know, we didn't really hear anything from Kimmy that we didn't already know. I was just wondering if she's normally that way. And Martha's like, oh, she's amazing. Don't worry. But can she be vulnerable? Because I think it would be nice to know something more about her. I mean, I shared how my father had cancer, but he's fine now. You know, Did I tell the one about who Lost his job, but he's rich now. Really, things do work out for my father, but I would, I would really. There's a girl's lunch of vulnerability. I mean, even the rich one talked about how she has to have a zoo in her back. God, so depressing. Darling, I'm sorry, what is Lottie talking about?

[A]

First of all, Kimmy started it off so she didn't know that the tone of this was to be like, oh, let's share trauma. So she's, she was maintaining the tone of the conversation, which is like, here's a fun story of my life, my childhood. In fact, she shared that she spent time in Haiti. And, and I thought that actually was insightful. And I just feel like she didn't know that it was going to turn into like, let's all share something that was like, really sad and scary. Let's like, let's like trauma bond over this. She had no idea that was happening, so you can't blame her for that.

[B]

Yeah, I think she was picking up on Margo's or. I feel like her name should be Margot, don't you? But it's not.

[A]

Everyone's name has an M and everyone's name either starts with an M or has prominent M's in it. Like.

[B]

Yeah, but she seems like more of a Margo to me. Like, oh, I'm Margo, but it's not Kimmy. So I think she was picking up on Kimmy's looks because the camera kept catching Kimmy and she wasn't doing overt, like, oh, but her face was like, oh, God, another sad story. Well, who else's husband died? You know, So I think they were kind of picking up that on that. And she's basically saying like, Kimmy's. Is. Is anybody else getting that Kimmy is a cold hearted villain or is it just me?

[A]

Yeah, should. They're gonna try to make Kimmy the villain, but it's not gonna work because everyone's gonna turn on Lottie and probably Missy. So Kimmy's like, I mean, look, Margo, everything, everyone, everybody's really great. It's just, I just think that people are quieter than others. And I just, I thought Emma was really quiet and Margot's like, I mean, well, she wasn't divulging any personal information.

[B]

She's.

[A]

Well, of course. I mean, I know a lot about her and her husband. She's like, oh, you knew sibling first. Well, Seal and I were very good friends before they were together. It's like. But did that change when they Got together? Oh, no, no, we were just friends. I mean, we. We were naughty friends. Did you ever hook up? Commercial break.

[B]

And it seems like she's going to say yes because she just gives a smirk and it goes to commercial. But when we come back, she's like, no, we didn't hook up. I mean, come on. She's like, well, I. I swear to God we didn't. Well, do you think that Emma knows that you're a bad. Or do you think Emma thinks that you're a bad influence on her husband? What are you saying? She goes, oh, yeah, you know, he put me in. You put me and sealing in a box. I mean, we'll just laugh our heads off. And he's a bit crazy. And she's kind of the grown up, which is quite ironic because she's a younger person in the relations.

[A]

So then over with Champagne Pong, Martha's like, oh, Emma, do you have any otters there in your safari? She's like, yes, we do. She's like, oh, if I can get this, can I. Can I go in with the otters? I'd love to. I'd love to swim with the otters, please. Do you think any of the otters know how to paint an apartment? She's like, well, I mean, who can feed the otters in a wholesome matter, wholesome manner?

[B]

So Martha misses the cut, but Emma drops the ball in for her. And they're like, oh, my God, Martha won. She's like, oh, my God. I've simply never chosen to live responsibly. And. And she's like, I get to feed the otters naked in their pool. Emma's like, no. God. So then Missy thinks the night went so well. She feels so supported and she's so happy to have this group of ladies. And so everybody packs back into the vans and Margot, we're in Margo's car, she's with Kimmy. And Margot goes, so Kimmy, you hated it. She goes, hated what? The chat. Oh, God. Listen, I just can't deal with that. I mean, when people start opening up too much, I just find it disingenuous.

[A]

That. And I think that's what I was picking up on also. There was that something felt like, like, I don't know why I. I. Disingenuous is not the. Is not the word I would use. But I. But it's like that sense of like, why are you doing this? What are you trying to achieve right now? So Martha was like, well, but I didn't know that about Missy. I feel really bad. Well, I mean, I know the story. It was some drug related thing, which is like on the heels of Missy saying, like, it's been so hard because everyone thinks that we're crooks and involved with drugs. Well, yeah, well, it's some drug thing that happened. Margot's like, well, I mean, that's what the press said, but who knows what the real story was? There's no nuance.

[B]

Right, right. But I'm just saying though, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. I mean, there definitely was some drug related thing. I mean, it was. It just was. So Martha's looking it up on her phone and it says, swedish kickboxer found guilty of murdering father of two. An organized hit. And Kimmy's like, well, I mean, that's what it is. I mean, let's not make it into some. Some sob story. Come on.

[A]

Margot goes, it is a sob story. It is literally a sob story. And she's.

[B]

Oh. So you just think of why you think that just happened by accident.

[A]

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

[B]

Oh, God. Listen, have you ever watched Saturday Night Live? I mean, there used to be a character called Debbie Downer. And Debbie was just always the person that would come to the party and be like, oh, my sister died. I mean, and then the whole party would go, well, shit, you know, I mean, I hate Debbie Downer, so just hate them. Call me old fashioned.

[A]

And then, then it zooms in on her and goes. Kimmy's like, well, I mean, it's sad, it's horrible, but it is. What it is is. Marco's like, I mean, Jesus Christ, what. What's a girl gotta do around here to get some sympathy or empathy? So Martha's like, oh, no, he shot him. She. He shot him eight times. Well, there you go.

[B]

There you go, there you go. There you go. Point. Point proven.

[A]

What is. I just thought that was so funny. Like, what is. What is Kimmy like? What point did Kimmy just make? Well, there you go. Eight times. See, nothing to sob about there. A real, A real sob story is 10 times.

[B]

Martha's like, oh, my God. Well, now, listen, I've seen a lot of stories like that. There's so many stories like that. Marco's like, yeah, but I mean, I've never met anybody that. That was their family. Well, I have. I mean, when I was living in Haiti as a young girl. The gun crime I've seen growing up is unreal. I mean, none of this, none of this fazes me. I Mean, it's. None of this phases me. It's just crazy.

[A]

She's being pretty flippant about something really horrific. But equally, I think that's a deflection. I mean, I don't want to sit here and harp on bad things that happened to me 30 years ago. It doesn't help me. Me makes me feel worse. Can we get some blanc to blanc in this car, for crying out loud?

[B]

I thought it was interesting because it's this whole. It's this whole episode about like, okay, how vulnerable. Let's show all the darkest parts of these people, basically, right? You had the scene with Martha and the storage unit, and I mean, it's been pretty dark. And this was making me laugh, but I thought it was neat, like, how Martha turned it and she was like, well, I do think this is projection. And then they. Because then it makes you look at it like, oh, yeah, this is like, Kimmy is like a deeply sad person, you know, who's just like, I don't want to talk about this. And so she just keeps going on and on. She's like, I mean, I'm not talking about from 30 years ago. I mean, it just makes me feel worse. Martha's like, well, I don't know why you're yelling at me. I wasn't arguing with you. She's like, no, I'm not. I'm just going to throw my hat at you and just kick it off. Yeah.

[A]

Margo's like, yeah, you just happen to be in her eyes line. I agree. Like, clearly, you know, Kimmy's has like a dark childhood, right, where there was this vicious divorce. The mom who blamed, like, she had to deal with whatever psychological baggage comes with your mom blaming you for the dissolution of the family and then moving to Haiti where she obviously was exposed to some sort of violence. And she probably doesn't want to revisit those moments and those memories. And so all the sob story stuff is like, don't take me back there. So it is pretty interesting. And. But also simultaneously, her reactions were very funny and entertaining. And I just love that the show is like, yes, we'll give you, like, some serious stuff and some stuff that's like, wow, this is shocking. And these women have, like, have, like, really, you know, like, like they've been through some stuff. But the show is also going to be like, but we're still gonna. We're gonna cut through the. Cut through this with a dose of acid. We. This. We are gonna still be funny in this, in these moments. I, like, love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good show.

[B]

Good show. All right, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We will talk to you next week.

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Darn Skippy. It's Tippy. And our Super Premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda.

[A]

Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD

[B]

we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[A]

Let's get real with Caitlin o' Neal.

[B]

Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[A]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to James Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo She's a total knockout.

[B]

It's Katie Manock.

[A]

Let's get Savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy, Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marla's Rogers.

[B]

The incredible edible Matthew Sisters. She. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

[A]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[B]

We cannot tell a lie.

[A]

It's Sarah Tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop at solely. And pop, let's take off with Tamla Plane.

[B]

Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.