Watch What Crappens #3263 — THE 2026 GOLDEN CRAPPIES PART TWO

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: March 15, 2026

Episode Overview

This lively episode delivers Part Two of the "2026 Golden Crappies"—an annual, irreverent, and affection-filled awards show lampooning the greatest (and most ridiculous) Bravo moments, personalities, and scandals of the year. Ben and Ronnie, alongside an ensemble of special guests, celebrate, roast, and dramatize everything from Real Housewives to Below Deck and beyond. The episode is crammed with sketch comedy bits, panel debates, fake acceptance speeches, and fan-voted awards, all in the duo’s signature campy, sassy style.

Key Segments & Highlights

Below Deck Celebration ft. Chef Serena

[01:19–07:18]

• Category: "Most Below Deck Moment"
• Guests: Chef Serena from Below Deck
• Insider Yachting Tea: Serena talks about Alicia, stressing that “she works really well with kindness, and if you’re gonna put pressure on her and be… Yeah, she gets frazzled. You’re not gonna be able to do it.” (03:44, Serena)
• Craziest Boat Hookups: Serena admits, “In a bed. Missionary.” (06:19, 06:22)
• Contestants: Drunk guest rants, bathroom sexcapades, “poop shower” (waffle stomp).
  • Serena deadpans: “People just poop in the shower...They really, really do. I think they just think we have money, we can do what we like.” (06:57, Serena)
• Winner: The “poop shower/waffle stomp” moment.

Best Show Nominee—Real Housewives of Miami

[08:05–10:17]

• Dramatic Skit: The hosts parody Miami’s party and narcissist drama, riffing on Larsa, Todd, Adriana, Kiki, etc.
  • “Like, this party is about Todd, you dingalings.” (08:32, Ben)
  • “I called her a ratchet. Like the tool.” (09:53, Ronnie)
• Miami’s Status: Hosts defend the franchise; “Don’t you try it. If you cancel that show I’m warning you right now.” (10:36, Ronnie)

Bravo’s Legal Troubles & Best DJ Debate

[10:50–16:08]

• Guest: Sassy Alvarez (Bravo Docket)
• Legal Hot Topics: Wendy’s arrest, Erika Jayne’s lawsuits.
  • “She’s guilty as shit, guys.” (11:52, Serena [as Sassy])
  • “Keep chanting plane crash victims.” (12:53, Serena [as Sassy])
• Best DJ Award:
  • Nominees include Maddi Reese (Southern Hospitality), Dorinda Medley, Meredith Marks, Randy the Butler, Riley Burris.
  • Meredith wins for her blazer-wearing, low-energy charisma.
  • “I’m going to go for Meredith just because I really like Meredith and I think she had a shitty year…” (15:28, Ronnie)
  • Meredith Marks wins.

Most Iconic Bravo Fights

[17:54–23:48]

• Presenter: Rachel Lindsay (Morally Corrupt Podcast)
• Favorite Seasons: Miami praised, Potomac finale debated; Miami’s “Haitian mortician fight” gets love.
• Nominees: Adriana & Marisol’s yacht argument (RHOM), Cash confronting Emmy (Southern Hospitality), Cole v. Hill (McBee Dynasty), Salt Lake’s garden party fight, NYC speaker drama, and more.
• Winner: Haitian mortician fight, RHOM:
  • “You’re never gonna hear those words again in a sentence.” (23:00, Serena [as Rachel])

Skits & Parody: Married to Medicine, Real Housewives of London & More

[24:24–33:00]

• Parody Skits: Ben & Ronnie perform scenes with recurring bits (“He made a smoothie out of it. I demand respect.” (26:22, Serena)), poke fun at “campaign” antics, and dramatize show moments.
• Best Travel Drama:
  • Nominees: Kristen Doute’s boat chaos, Lisa Hochstein’s Miami lateness, Meredith’s emotional flight (SLC), Potomac’s airport race.
  • “Those were three of the best episodes of reality TV I have ever seen.” (30:23, Serena [as Elizabeth Day] re: Potomac, but ultimately picks the Meredith plane crying incident)
  • Winner: Meredith Marks’ “unconfirmed emotional reaction” on a flight.

Ceremony “Superlatives” & Quirky Awards

[33:44–34:54]

• Throwaway awards for odd Bravo “achievements,” e.g. Adam’s tabbouleh as best-tasting personality substitute; Reba (RHOBH) as most terrifying mom with a psychiatry degree, etc.

Best Scandal

[34:57–42:05]

• Presenter: Katie Janela (RHOC)
• Dish on taco contracts and being fired: “When I was fired, they called and said that I didn’t fit in. And aside from Tamara, you’re right—I don’t. Because I have taste.” (37:19, Serena [as Katie])
• Nominees: Adriana/Julia sleeping together, Galena’s chaos (McBee Dynasty), Georgia’s unwashed hands (Next Gen NYC), Gretchen Rossi’s MAGA post, Wendy & Eddie fraud (RHOP).
• Winner: Wendy and Eddie arrested for fraud (RHOP)

Comedy Interlude: Aging Bravo Stars Song (“Old Roni Club”)

[45:19–48:25]

• Parody Song—Ben, as Ramona, processes getting the call to go back to Bravo, lampooning Roni and nostalgia for “old-school” housewives life.

Biggest Villain

[48:47–56:02]

• Presenter: Diallo Riddle
• Debate over villain types:
  • “Maybe next year we’ll separate out the villains versus the pieces of shit…”
• Nominees: Aaron (Denise Richards), Colton (Traitors), Janet (The Valley), Jax Taylor, the front door (Summer House).
• Winner: Jax Taylor—“The biggest asshole. But it’s also been—he’s a person that we’ve been waiting to see go down for years.” (55:22, Ronnie)

Best Non-Housewives Show

[59:37–64:18]

• Presenter: Ryan Bailey
• Nominees: Next Gen NYC, Southern Hospitality, Summer House, The Traitors, The Valley
• Ben’s Pick: “I could watch them make chicken salad and I would just be in love.” (62:51, Ben re: Summer House)
• Ronnie’s Pick: The Valley; nervous for Season 3; excited for Brittany’s new start.
• Winner: The Traitors

Best Bravo Moment

[64:38–69:10]

• Presenters: Courtney & Mary (Two Judgy Girls)
• **Favorite Bravocon moments, Gorga anecdotes, and Lisa Hochstein selfie thefts.
• Nominees: Adriana’s “Haitian mortician” accusation (RHOM), Jax’s double-firing/reunion drama (The Valley), Paige dumps Craig (Summer House), Doll Song phone call (Traitors), and more.
• Winner: Adriana accuses Julia of sleeping with a Haitian mortician.
  • “Where’s the sponsorship? Seriously, Where’s Nespresso? Where is Mr. Coffee or funeral homes?” (69:17, Ronnie)

In Memoriam: Tribute to Departed Bravo Personalities

[69:49–74:51]

• Musical moment: Jennifer Tilly sings "Wind Beneath My Wings."
• Heartfelt tribute to Bravo cast members lost or departed, including special nod to Robert Cosby Jr.:
  • “We didn’t want to add this into a jokey thing, but obviously we’re heartbroken about Robert Cosby Jr. So sending all of our love to you, Mary Cosby.” (74:39, Ronnie)

Bravo Liberty of the Year

[75:06–82:19]

• Presenter: Ariana Madix (Love Island USA)
• Nominees: Gabby (Traitors), Jennifer Tilly (RHOBH), Kristen Doute (The Valley), Paige Desorbo (Summer House), Rob Roush, Stacy Rush (Potomac), Zach Wickham (The Valley)
• Winner: Stacy Rush (Potomac)
• Style: Ariana, beloved former guest and now a star herself, does awards with heartfelt and humorous grace.

Best Bravo Show of the Year

[86:26–87:02]

• Finalists: Married to Medicine, Next Gen NYC, Real Housewives of Miami, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Summer House, The Valley
• Winner: Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
• Celebratory closeout: “Thank you so much for being here. It’s been an amazing year. We look forward to seeing you in 2027.” (87:02, Ronnie)

Notable Quotes & Iconic Moments

• “People just poop in the shower...They really, really do. I think they just think we have money, we can do what we like.” – Serena [Below Deck] (06:57)
• “Like, this party is about Todd, you dingalings.” – Ben (08:32)
• “She’s guilty as shit, guys.” – Serena [as Bravo Docket’s Sassy] (11:52)
• “You’re never gonna hear those words again in a sentence.” – Serena [as Rachel Lindsay], on “Haitian mortician fight” (23:00)
• “I went out on top. My kids are amazing. My husband and I love each other, and the fans have been so nice.” – Serena [as Katie Janela] (39:51)
• “We shouldn’t have to have an abusive piece of shit category, but we probably need one after this year.” – Ronnie (51:45)
• “I could watch them make chicken salad and I would just be in love.” – Ben, on Summer House (62:51)
• “You bring us so much joy. You make us feel seen… What you do, you make it seem effortless and it’s so hilarious and joyous, but I can only imagine the amount of work it actually takes.” – Serena [as Elizabeth Day], presenting a special thanks to Ben & Ronnie (31:12)

Structure & Flow

• The episode balances sketch comedy, panel banter, and real-life Bravo analysis.
• Awards are delivered via parodies, with both sincerity and camp.
• Each category is introduced by a notable guest (often Bravo-connected), and nominees are given colorful, humorous context.
• Memorable quotes and standout conversations are seamlessly woven with satirical skits and musical numbers.

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:19] Below Deck awards & Serena's appearance
• [08:05] Real Housewives of Miami skit & defense
• [10:50] Bravo Docket’s Sassy Alvarez & DJ category
• [17:54] Best Fight, Rachel Lindsay guest
• [24:24] Married to Medicine/Real Housewives of London skits, Best Travel Drama
• [34:57] Katie Janela presents Best Scandal
• [45:19] “Old Rony Club” parody song
• [48:47] Diallo Riddle & Biggest Villain Award
• [59:37] Non-Housewives Show (with Ryan Bailey)
• [64:38] Two Judgy Girls & Most Memorable Bravo Moment
• [69:49] Jennifer Tilly In Memoriam
• [75:06] Ariana Madix presents Bravo Liberty of the Year
• [86:26] Best Bravo Show of the Year announced

Tone & Language

• Warm, irreverent, and self-aware with heavy use of sarcasm and affectionate mockery.
• Frequent in-jokes and callbacks, both to Bravo’s content and the podcast’s own lore.
• Hosts and guests play up absurdity but remain endearing and supportive of the community.

Closing

The 2026 Golden Crappies is a rollicking love letter to Bravo fandom—affectionately skewering its absurdities, rewarding fan favorites, and creating a tight-knit, hilarious community space. The night’s biggest honors go to Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Stacy Rush, but the entire event serves as a lively Oscars-for-Bravo with plenty of shade, laughter, heartfelt moments, and reality TV drama.