#3288 Below Deck Down Under S04E09 Part Two: Honey Don’t

Summary

Watch What Crappens, Episode #3288 Recap

Below Deck Down Under S04E09 Part Two: Honey Don’t
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: March 31, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Ben and Ronnie (with Ronnie as “Ellie” for this recap) continue their razor-sharp, laugh-packed breakdown of "Below Deck Down Under" Season 4, Episode 9 (part two). The episode’s main focus is the escalating drama between Ben and Ellie in the galley, boundary-blurring pet names, and the mounting tension leading up to a yacht wedding. Amid the chaos, they squeeze out Bravo’s best fish content with their beloved “Fish Report,” roast watery scrambled eggs, and serve up plenty of signature Crappens one-liners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Galley Showdown: Boundaries and Breakdown

• Tension Boils Over:
  The main conflict centers around Ellie's frustration with Ben’s use of overly familiar pet names ("honey," "sweetie," etc.), and a blow-up in the galley (02:54–06:57).
  • Ellie (as Ronnie): “I think that we're harping on the honey, lovey, sweetie thing more than Ellie is. I think she's just sick of Ben and ... She's just breaking.” (06:57)
  • Ben: “It's 2026, and you should know that you just can't call... women that you're working with, like, honeybuns and sweetie and love.” (06:02)
• Cultural Excuses vs. Modern Norms:
  The conversation veers into whether Ben’s British/Australian background is an excuse, ultimately deciding everyone should know these boundaries by now.
  • Ben: “Any dude in 2026, no matter where you're from, should know better than to be like, hey, toots. I mean, who does that?” (08:00)

2. Management, Mediation, and Muddling Through

• Captain Jason Steps In:
  Daisy and Captain Jason attempt mediation, but both Ben and Ellie feel bruised from the argument.
  • Jason (as Ellie): “Boundaries, not escalators, you understand?” (18:18)
  • Ben (mocking the process): “Next time you have an issue ... put [your emotions] in this tiny box, wrap it in a bow, and throw it overboard.” (18:50-19:33)
• Reluctant Reconciliation:
  Jason urges Ell and Ben to "go hard for 48 hours" and reassess. Both agree to keep things cordial for now.
  • Ben (about making peace): “I think it's the less I say, the better, mate.” (12:18–12:34)

3. Breakfast Fiasco: The Watery Egg Incident

• Scrambled Eggs Gone Wrong:
  The crew and guests are grossed out by Ben’s soft, European-style eggs, described as “a river of fat."
  • Ellie: “It looked like too much butter. I don't know…” (14:19)
  • Ben: “Were you steaming this in butter? What was it?” (14:26)
• The Guests React:
  Daisy is sent to mediate with hungry (and disgusted) guests, prompting Ben to promise a new breakfast, but the emotional toll from the galley feud is obvious.
  • Ben: “What you say is watery in your eggs is actually just an accumulation of my tears from having a wedding that I never got to attend.” (17:43)

4. Fish Report: Marine Roasting & Absurdity

• Beloved Segment Highlights Ocean Life—With Sass: (22:51–34:25)
  • Octopus Fashion:
    Ben: “It’s kind of doing a Trump... But like a beautiful version. Like, this is what Trump was aspiring to is what this octopus is doing.”
  • Cute Fish Pageant:
    Ellie: “It’s like the Sheena head tilt. ‘I'll look at my good side.’” Ben: “This fish is the equivalent of an influencer... going on the grid.” (25:38–25:54)
  • Goldfish Chaos:
    Ben: “School’s out for summer... Literally. We’re not in a school right now. We’re just an assemblage.”
  • Eel/Snake Drama:
    Ben: “It’s like, I’ll never be a celebrity. My head is just too disproportionately small.”
  • Manta Ray Terror:
    Ellie: “Most terrifying stingray I’ve ever seen. Is this a bat? Is it hairy?”
    Ben: (on news story) “A manta ray jumped out of the water ... and slammed into a woman ... and she died. I think the ray died too. Isn’t that crazy?” (31:16–31:49)
  • Turtle & Starfish Friendship:
    Ellie: “... It’s like a dodo video where the dog hugs the cat.” (32:16)

5. Wedding Jitters & Galley Teamwork

• Yacht Wedding Setup:
  Tension persists, with last-minute wedding prep chaos.
  • Ben (about the cake): “My little dulce de leche diaphragm. All right.” (36:14)
• Softer Moments:
  Despite the strife, Ben and Ellie find a way to work respectfully, collaborating on the wedding cake and service, while the crew's micro-dramas over fairy lights and teamwork continue.
  • Ellie: “Oh, my God. I'm going to do my best too, chef. What the hell? Jeez. These two made a turn.” (38:16)

6. Resolution Attempts & Reflecting on Relationships

• Guest Departures and Reflections:
  Farewells are tinged with humor as the guests thank the crew for their luxury yacht experience despite “watery eggs and panty liners attached to the walls of our closet.” (45:44)
  • Ellie (about guests' humble beginnings): “You don't say. Your husband is standing next to you in a Louis Vuitton bucket hat, a Gucci belt...” (45:44)
• Captain’s Final Mediation:
  Jason awkwardly forces Ben and Ellie to have a one-on-one to resolve things, then flees the room (“Hands off. All right, everybody...”). (47:43–48:15)
  • Ben: “I feel like I just did 15 rounds with Muhammad Ali and got the kicked out of me.” (46:20)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Boundary Setting:
  Ben: “It's just always funny to me that the person is being wildly unprofessional is always, like, disregarding the other person for just not being professional enough.”
  (06:02)

• On Cultural Norms:
  Ellie: “Any dude in 2026, no matter where you're from, should know better than to be like, hey, toots.”
  (08:00)

• On Ben’s Scrambled Eggs:
  Daisy (as Ellie): “These are the grossest eggs I've ever seen.”
  (14:19–14:47)

• On Fish Fashion:
  Ben: “It’s what Trump was aspiring to is what this octopus is doing.”
  (23:18)

• On Saying Goodbye:
  Ben: “You guys have made this so special. And to be on a 36 million dollar yacht with a crew like this, with watery eggs and slow service and panty liners attached to the walls of our closet, it's just absolutely phenomenal.”
  (45:44)

• On Relationship Loneliness:
  Ellie: “I feel like this whole episode… is like, it's okay to be alone, you know?”
  (37:35–37:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Galley drama & pet names: 02:54–08:49
• Management intervention (Jason & Daisy): 08:49–12:34
• Egg crisis & guest complaints: 13:24–14:47, 17:35–18:10
• Boundary talk (Jason mediates): 18:50–21:05
• Wedding setup chaos: 36:14–41:58, 38:16–41:58
• Fish Report: 22:51–34:25
• Farewell and crew wrap-up: 45:44–47:43

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Tone & Style

As ever, Ben and Ronnie keep it high-energy, sharply observational, and brimming with irreverence. Their delight in the absurdities of yacht life and Bravo micro-dramas shines through every segment, especially the Fish Report. The language is playful, affectionately mocking, and full of their signature flavor, making the recap both incisive and hilarious for diehard Bravo fans and newcomers alike.

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Final Thoughts

A classic Crappens recap: hilarious, sharp, and relentless as they dissect workplace etiquette, yacht feuds, and aquatic fashion alike. Even the Fluffiest of fish get roasted, and the show’s essential message—about boundaries, teamwork, and the pain of bad scrambled eggs—comes through in delightful, kooky detail.

Transcript

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[Ben]

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[Ellie]

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[Ben]

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[Ellie]

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[Ben]

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[Ellie]

what

[Ben]

happens when there's so much of crappin? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that We just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

[Ellie]

So Daisy comes in. She's like, all right, guys, we're not achieving anything here. Daisy. I would just like her to cool it. He is abusive. He is abusive towards me. Ow. All right. But still it hurt. He turned. He turned my heart.

[Ben]

All right, all right, Ellie. She's swell, but you deserve it. Okay, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. I'm in charge now. I'm the captain of the ship now. I am the captain. Now you servants are.

[Ellie]

Do it again.

[Ben]

Okay, all right, all right. You can leave the galley and go to your cabin, Ellie. Okay. Get out of here. Get the hell out of here. This is wild. It's wild. Daisy. Thank you. I've never known anything like that. She rattles me. It's not good. I may have lost control of my galley. Marshmallow wobblekons. All right, all right, Ben. All right, enough with that.

[Ellie]

Have you spoken to Jason? I don't want to talk to Jason about it. I just want her out of here. Well, you've got a problem on your hands, then, Ban. Don't you? He's like, I know. Don't I know. So now we go to Ellie in her room, and she's wrapping around a cord around her curling ir, and she's like, oh, you take this to me curling iron. You watch her goddamn mouth curl me. I curl you? You curled me first.

[Ben]

I sell curling iron irons like you for milk. Where I come from, the curling iron's like, that seems like a terrible deal.

[Ellie]

And Ben says, wisely or aptly, I guess I should say. He's like, I bet my batch, haven't I? Ah, it's been a long day. Let's just go to bed. So now Ellie's like, I don'. Daisy, this bending. She's like, all right, all right. She's trying to calm me down. He takes no ownership. Well, I do understand that, but you're not going to solve it by losing your temper like that. All right, now I know you know. Let me. Let me pat your knee there for a second. It's okay. It's okay.

[Ben]

She's saying, hey. Well, she's saying, I run a hostile work environment. Well, then she can leave any. At any time. She can always go to Zim. Okay, but no one's making her stay. Yeah, but that's so bad. I don't Want a hostile environment.

[Ellie]

It's like, I'm upset that he got

[Ben]

to the point of. He got me to the point of being fucking angry, but I couldn't fucking hold it in anymore. I just fucking snapped, you know? It's like, you can only sell so many carrots before you say, just, someone

[Ellie]

give me the damn milk already. Okay, okay. Let's try and get some sleep tonight and tomorrow. There's a way we can figure this out. I know there is. I know, I know. I know there is. Don't worry. And meanwhile, Joao's like, ah, you call everybody lovely in honey and sugar pumps. I mean, just this morning you called me French toast thymus gland. I don't know what that is, but I got a happy. So I'm not really sure what everybody's so upset about. I mean, you're sexist, everybody.

[Ben]

Yes. I have to say, every time you call me flufferoni pizza, I actually quite enjoy it.

[Ellie]

Do you know I actually masturbated after you called me tostone testicles?

[Ben]

So Ben's like. I mean, that's a pet name. It's a term of endearment. And apparently it's not very endearing right now. So I would definitely have taken this on board better with a professional conversation, and I would have listened. I didn't actually mean any harm by this. I love the guy who's being totally unprofessional is now demanding professionalism from. It's like, from the person he's offending. Like, that's what's always so funny. Like, okay, it's like 2026, and you should know that you just can't call, like, women that you're working with, like, honey buns and sweetie and love. And. Well, you can say. I think you can say love maybe, because that sounds. That's so British. But, like, I don't think you can. You can't say half the. That he is saying, honestly. And then. But then he's like, well, why wasn't she being professional? I. I can't believe she wasn't being professional. To me, two wrongs don't make a right. But, like, also, like, it's. It's just always funny to me that the person is being wildly unprofessional is always, like, disregarding the other person for just not being professional enough.

[Ellie]

Well, I think that we're harping on the honey, lovey, sweetie thing more than Ellie is. You know, I think it bugs us more. And I see. I mean, I think Ellie's just sick of Ben and She's. She doesn't like where she feels like she's picking up all this extra slack so that he could go swimming and drink wine and stay in the guest cabin while she's having to do all of this. And she's just breaking. And she's like. And now you're going to be condescending to me, too. Like, you. I think there's. The comments and stuff online are interesting about it because there's so many people who are like, oh, my God, Ben's just. He's doing so great. And this, you know, it's just a cultural thing. And in his culture, you know, you're allowed to say honey and sweetie and. Okay, you know what? I can give you that up to a certain point until I. I think it's. And I think you should know by now, but if somebody tells you that, then you stop. I think the problem here is that he wasn't told. You know, if he was told and then he wouldn't stop, then maybe that would be a bigger problem. But I still think that any. Any dude in 2026, no matter where you're from, should know better than to be like, hey, toots. I mean, who does that?

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think that ultimately she just was feeling general disrespect from him. And if she had been feeling respect, she probably would have received, you know, him saying sweetie as, like, just like, whatever. Like, this is his way of showing fondness to the people he's working with. Because. But since she's feeling general disrespect anyway, it's like, she's like, don't, like, don't be disrespectful to me. And then add a sweetie at the end of it, as if everything is fine and cute and that you actually like me, but you're being totally disrespectful. You know, I think that's where sometimes it can be really frustrating. You know, it's like, oh, by the way, you really up, honey. It's like, ugh, don't do that to me. The only one who can say honey is Hannah, by the way.

[Ellie]

Honey. So Jason texts Ben to meet him in the bridge. Daisy comes in, and he's like, hey, Daisy, Ben messaged me last night about Ellie and said she was swearing at him. And I just want to know, has anybody considered boundaries? Drawing them? Anybody?

[Ben]

It was wild. It was wild. Like, well, illy came to me before dinner. I saw that. The whole boat saw that. They saw a lady with a long ponytail dressed in Black walking through at a high. At a quick pace. And they were all very alarmed by that. I was like, yeah, the guests saw her walk through, but it was like she just walked through to them. It was just like another staff member going from place A to place B.

[Ellie]

It's not like she threw a potato at him. So Daisy's like, yeah, you know, they're both justified in how they're feeling, but Ali, she cannot speak to crew members like that. Okay, all right. I've got to get to the bottom of it more. I guess I thought I got to the bottom of it last night by standing in a doorway for a while, but I guess not. So now we go to Ben and Jason in the bridge, and he's like, let's take a seat, brother. Let's digest. This is called the boundary seat. Ever since. Well, that wasn't like your average argument. This was serious. And then we. Then he's back with Daisy, the Daisy, and Jason. And Daisy's like, you know, she was like, don't. I'm not taking this. And then when I stepped in, I was like, this is out of control. And I don't think Ben deserved it, but, yeah, I think he needs to learn how to manage people.

[Ben]

And so Jason's like, look, it's serious. She's come to me. She mentioned names, and I tried to say boundary three or four times, and it wouldn't even calm her down. Then I tried to disappear into a bush, but it turns out there was no bush. I just backed into the bar and knocked a glass off the top of it, which was embarrassing. And I was hoping it would be a blessing in disguise, that the shattering of the glass would be enough to distract her and make her realize that she has to get out of here. But she kept on saying things, said something about carrots and selling them and milk in the town square and rotating things. Was a lot to take in. And I said, I have to draw a boundary with you, Ellie. Nothing seemed to work. So I know it's a term of endearment what you say, but it's not sitting well with her, and that's something that you have to work on. There needs to be some respect. Okay, I'm trying to read through it, and the question is, where do we go from here? We've got a wedding tonight. Are you able to work with her? Do I have to keep on having to talk with you guys? Because it's a lot of episodes. Sort like City have got to catch up on.

[Ellie]

Well, I mean, I don't Know, I'm still rattled by what happened. I mean, you can't even call anybody broccoli butt cheeks anymore without them getting offended. Now, frankly, that wouldn't have offended, but it offends her, and that's the problem. So if it gets to a point, I have to pull her out. I will, but that's not an option. I want. I need you guys to go hard. Go hard for 48 hours, and at the end of it, let's reassess our boundaries. He's like, all right. All right, man. So now we go to the galley, and Ellie's like, good morning.

[Ben]

Hello.

[Ellie]

How can I assist you? Well, we could light a sheet pan, please. Put bacon on it. All right, thanks. Licorice lungs. Damn it. Sorry. Sorry. It was an accident.

[Ben]

Well, I'm not sure where we stand or how we get to the season together. I'm kind of feeling like my job is on the line here. So. She's like, okay, what is next, please? Can you clean the freezer, please? I need to figure out how to get through the season with him, because

[Ellie]

I'm not going to lose my job over this man.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ellie]

So now he's like, all right. Thanks, Ellie. All right, we're good. We're gonna be fine. You like that big cold, Ellie? Felt weird to me personally, but it's good for you. Loved it. Honestly, I've tried to change the dynamic, and I think it's the less I say, the better, mate.

[Ben]

Really.

[Ellie]

All right, you can't be offended if I don't talk to you. All right?

[Ben]

All right. Okay, you cheeky churro. Let's get back to work lining that sheet pan, shall we? So now Mike and Daisy are in the pantry, and Mike's like, good. I've been such a good morning today. I had extra aqua nut in my hair. She's like, oh, yeah. When I woke up, I was just like, I can't wait to start work as a Dexter. She's like, ah, my heart. That's funny. So then, Daisy, the guests are sitting for breakfast. A bunch of them want some soft scrambled eggs, and. Except that. So when Ben makes it, he's thinking he's making, like, European style, but they are more like just watery and a lot of the just there. Everyone's grossed out by all the pools of thin liquid accumulating on their plates.

[Ellie]

Yeah, what was this? Because they cut to Ben cooking the eggs, and he's like, oh, the French way to do it. You know, The French really like it this way. So was that, like, a French Technique. It look like it was just butter dripping out, like a ton of butter or something. Right?

[Ben]

So I think there's. There. I'm sure there's probably like a science of if you cook at a certain temperature, the.

[Ellie]

The.

[Ben]

The. The liquid will leach out. There's also something about, like, the. The earlier you salt your eggs, the less likely they are to get wet. Like that they essentially kind of like, break. Right? And so, like, I. So it's always good to salt as early as possible. So maybe you didn't salt. Give it enough time for that salt to sort of like, permeate something about, like, the salt kind of like, bonds with the proteins in a way that the water does not leach out or. I don't know. But whatever it was, something was wrong.

[Ellie]

Yeah, Wet. It was like. It looked like a river of fat, but I mean, eggs are fat. So I don't know if it was from that, but it looked like too much butter. I don't know.

[Ben]

It's like, excuse me.

[Ellie]

Yeah, like, were you steaming this in butter? What was it? So Nisha is like, gross. And she's pouring the water out of her eggs, and Daisy comes out and she's like, daisy, are these. Or are they like powdered scrambled eggs? Which I thought was kind of funny because, like, do powdered scrambled eggs get wet?

[Ben]

I feel like I was very confused

[Ellie]

by this egg scene. Yeah, me too, because it. Whatever. So Daisy's like, nah, they're real scrambled eggs. I'll ask him how he makes them. And she goes, thank you. Because this is gross. These are the grossest eggs I've ever seen. So she goes down and she's like, okay, Ben, she doesn't like the eggs. She said they're super watery. I'd go and talk to her. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

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[Ellie]

So he goes out there, he's like, oh God, I'm in trouble. I know, I'm sorry. I'm in trouble. I know, and I'm so sorry.

[Ben]

Well, it turns out the what you say is watery in your eggs is actually just an accumulation of my tears from having a wedding that I never got to attend. I'm sensitive now and I also got yelled at by my own sous chef. Anyway, what's the issue here? They're like, are you trying to kill me? Okay, when you said soft eggs, I just thought you meant so soft. It was like water, which is what I basically gave you. So I'll do a whole new breakfast for you. Don't worry about it.

[Ellie]

She's like, no, actually I'm full, but thanks. He's like, oh God, I'm absolutely frazzled right now. I can't focus. My emotions are getting the better of me right now, to be honest with you. Wedding cold up. So Daisy tells Alicia to go to the beach. So put on her charm and entertaining side because she's going for the beach day. So then we go to Ell Jason having a meeting and he's like, all right, mate, now what happened? You came to me before dinner, and I woke up this morning, and I found out that things just escalated, and it shouldn't have escalated, all right? Boundaries, not escalators, you understand? She's like. Because he kept jabbing me, so I couldn't hold it in anymore. I'm sorry. I could not hold it.

[Ben]

Listen, have your boundaries, which I don't know if you know about this, but boundaries are great. I have a boundary, which is that you cannot cross the boundary to enter this office ever again. And if you ever want to talk about an issue, you can do it every three days at the tip meeting. So if you want. If you don't want to be called honey, I respect that. If you don't want to be called flirty flan, I respect that. If you don't want to be called sticky sweetie, I respect that. If you don't want to be called gooey ganache, absolutely. I get it. But that's a conversation that you could have with Ben about his demeanor or things that your feelings that you're feeling. And I don't want you to squash your emotions. I just want you to take them, put them in this tiny box, wrap it in a bow, and throw it overboard. How about that? I think that.

[Ellie]

Yeah, well, for you, basically, you went a little too far, all right? Because I did. I did. All right? Now, if there's a tone you're not happy with, a work. That's a work environment conversation. It doesn't have to escalate swearing and yelling, all right? Because we have a complaint. Complaints procedure here. You know, all yachts do, all right? If you've got a problem, you go to anybody but me, all right? Tell them about it, and then they come to me and I say, tell them to work it out. Do you understand? All right? Because what we've going on, that can't go on. Do you understand me? All right, we're gonna work through this rough patch a little bit. Can you do that? What rhymes with foundries? I don't know.

[Ben]

Boundaries.

[Ellie]

We'll work on that. We'll work on that. All right, well, I'm continue. I will. I'm happy to continue respecting him, but at the same time. Time, there needs to be respect given back resp. Find out what it means to me. Do you understand?

[Ben]

What does it mean to you? Well, I didn't mean. You have to literally find out.

[Ellie]

Listen, Listen to Aretha. Please, please do not disrespect Aretha.

[Ben]

Here's what you Do. Next time you have an issue, go and tell Mike, but tell him it's actually a chore for him. It's a task for him to go get to the bottom of this, and by the time he figures it out, three hours later, you will have cooled

[Ellie]

down, the season will be over. All right. All right. Now, this is going to take both of you. All right, let's see how we go today. Get back into it. Okay. I appreciate it. I appreciate that. I need some M M's.

[Ben]

That's what I need. So now the crew has to get ready for the vow renewal, AKA the first step into the dissolution of this marriage. So Joao is like, tonight, the guests are getting Zim married, and that means that there's a lot of Zim pressure on the interior side. So if I could just help take the weight off of Daisy and get the guests away from the yacht for a few hours, I'd be more than Zim happy to do that.

[Ellie]

So in the galley, Ellie and Ben are tense still. She's like, hey, Hi. Well, when you have a chance, do you want to maybe look up through the meat to see, like, what needs to be thrown out? Okay. Thank you. Thank you, me looker. Thank you. And Jason hears this, and he's like,

[Ben]

all in a day's work.

[Ellie]

All in daddy's work.

[Ben]

Look at me bringing people together. Next step, world peace. So the guests are. They take the tender to the beach, and everyone's setting up the wedding. And he's like, so these guests are actually married, but they didn't have a big wedding, so now they're going to have a slightly bigger wedding with seven people instead. I was like, wow, you really. It's like you really went from having your elopement with two people to a wedding with seven people. Wow. I mean, it is seven times the size. So there's a lot of pressure, especially after making these really ridiculous mistakes. Then we see, like, the panty liner stuck against the wall, and then no champagne in the bedroom. Watery eggs. I honestly will not be able to sleep if I make Mark and Clay in any way sad. Are disappointed in. Because they're the sweetest, cutest human beings who deserve the best. They are so cute that I. I have to restrain myself from going up to them and saying, you're so cute. God, I love them.

[Ellie]

And now it's time for Fish Report. Fish report. Oh, my God. It's a fish report. Okay, so we start out with a octopus. Squid. I don't know what it is. Stocked up, and it's Doing one of those things where it's got a front pony because it's afraid it's balding. So it's putting all of its air up to the front and just moving backwards slowly.

[Ben]

It's kind of doing a Trump. I'm not gonna lie. It's. It's. But like a beautiful version. Like, this is what. This is what Trump was aspiring to is what this octopus is doing. This octopus is great. And the octopus is like, well, I could be camouflaged right now, but I'm really feeling red today. So I'll only lightly turn blue as I go away. But I'm saying red if I, If. If I get killed, at least I'll be high fashion when I die.

[Ellie]

And it looks very graceful, but it's terrified of the cameras. It's just backing away. Or is it going forward? And it has eyes in the back of his head.

[Ben]

That's classic. Octopus, like, octopi are actually. It's octopuses. It's actually not octopi. It's octopuses. They love a misdirection. So they're like, look at me. I'm going forward, but my tentacles are going backwards. So am I going backwards or am I going forward?

[Ellie]

You.

[Ben]

That's. That's one secret I'll never tell. Xoxo Gossip Octopus.

[Ellie]

Do I have a huge nose or a huge head? I don't know which. Which side of me are you judging? Loser. I'm gone.

[Ben]

I'm an optical illusion.

[Ellie]

Am I still red? Geez, they can see me now.

[Ben]

I'm an optical illusion. Or as I like to call it, an octopal illusion. Thanks, guys. You ever see that? You ever see that drawing of, like, is it an old woman or is it a young woman? Can't tell. That's me. That's me right now. Big nose, big butt. Hard to say.

[Ellie]

All right, now we go to the cutest fish of the day. I mean, this fish is adorable. This is that little blue specked fish that's staring right into the camera with, like, little human lips. Like, hello.

[Ben]

It's like. So I hear that there's a little bit of a pageant for cute fish. And I like to throw my name into it. It. Because we had that puffer fish two weeks ago. That was amazing. We had that shark last week where we thought its nostrils were his eyes, which looks so cute. And now we have this guy who's like, this one is so cute. And I think the fact that it's sort of on its side makes it even cuter.

[Ellie]

It's like the Sheena head tilt. It's like, I only got my good side. I'll look at my good side. Like, tilt.

[Ben]

It's like taking a portrait at Sears. It's like, hi.

[Ellie]

Yeah, just tilt your head a little bit and leave your lips open because that's how models do it. She's like, yeah.

[Ben]

So one thing that I'm working on is I'm trying to show my good side more. And so I've heard that if you just tilt and just lower one fin and raise another, it actually makes you look a bit more slender. So.

[Ellie]

Hey. Oh. Oh. So that was a good shot. Oh, oh, good, good. I'm glad you got the shot. No, no, I can't high five you. That's. It never works out. My hands are see through, so.

[Ben]

But this. This fish also is like the equivalent of an influencer who, like, sees a pink wall or angel wings graffiti onto the side of the building. It's like, oh, my God, I gotta take a picture with it. Because it's like, oh, my God, take a picture of me. Buy this coral. It looks so good. I'm putting this on the gram. It's going on the grid.

[Ellie]

This is the cutest fish. Oh, my gosh.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Ellie]

Goldfish. Basic. Basic.

[Ben]

I don't know. No, these are just like wild goldfish. And that's why I. What I really appreciate about them. They're just like. They are basic, but there's just something that they're like, you know what? It's nighttime, but we're gonna put on, like, our nighttime best. Like, it's dark, but we're gonna look lovely here.

[Ellie]

But it's like, no, no. They're all in disarray. No one's swimming in uniform. They're just like, going, every which. This is why you guys get captured and given away at fairs. Like, you have no organization amongst your group. They're just like, as long as you don't catch me.

[Ben]

They're like, school's out for summer. Literally. We're not in a school right now. We're just an assemblage.

[Ellie]

Every hour is 3:30pm they're like, we're done. There's dropping pencils. We're done. No school left. You are undiscip end.

[Ben]

So I actually kind of like their chaos because I feel like we always see all these. What always happens is we always see these school of fish. They're all going one direction, and there's one that's always going the wrong direction. And we always make fun of them, but here they're just all, like. They're just, like, all having, like, a crazy mosh. But they're like at a street fair or something. They're like, oh, my God. Did you see that? They have, like. They've got. They've got, like, adorable, like, truffle puffs over there. Truffle puffs? Really? Because they have, like, an amazing gelato stand over there. Really? Wait, which way should we go?

[Ellie]

I kind of like, over there is the water gun. You shoot into the balloons, and then they explode. I'm time playing that one. They're just all over the place. And then goldfish get lost. And then some mother yells at the teacher, and it's like, no, your. Your child is undisciplined. And that's why they're.

[Ben]

This is how they die. This is how they die. They do get caught this way because. Yeah, yeah.

[Ellie]

You look at this and you're like, oh, you think you're having fun now? You will all get flushed down toilets one day after being one in. In a fair. This fish, gorgeous. This is what we call a wallpaper fish. This is a goodlook. This is like, Reza. Wallpaper.

[Ben]

Yeah. Gorgeous, but also kind of dumb. Like, you can tell. Like, this fish does not carry a good conversation. Look at its eyes. It's like, what? It's like, oh, my God. Did you see. Did you see Real Housewives last night? What's that? You don't know about the Real Housewives? I don't have a tv. I don't. I think it's a tv. I think it has a tv, but it watches, like, yes. Reruns of Yester. Like, watches, like, like, old CBS sitcoms at one of those random stations that's, like, channel 17, you know? I think it's just, like, totally uninterested in pop culture.

[Ellie]

It's either literature or Everybody Loves Raymond for me. And it has a very long face, but no nose. It's just, like, constantly looking down its nose at you. It's like, oh, the morals.

[Ben]

The morals on anything else.

[Ellie]

I simply can't suffer through them.

[Ben]

But, like, wealthy and boring. Because, like, we love wealthy and fabulous, but this is just wealthy and boring, where they just have nothing interesting to say, you know?

[Ellie]

Yeah, it's the same old Chanel you've been wearing for 30 years. Also, it's all faded here.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah, it's a stupid fish. But pretty.

[Ellie]

Yeah, pretty. So now, this is another eel thing, right?

[Ben]

Yeah, I think it's. It could be a sea snake. Quite frankly, I can't Tell if it's an eel or a sea snake.

[Ellie]

I'm not sure.

[Ben]

But I will say tiny head on this one. It's. It's very graceful the way it moves, but that. I don't know if it's. Maybe the head is far away from the camera, but like that. You know, that. You know this.

[Ellie]

It's embarrassing.

[Ben]

It's like. It's like, I'll never be a celebrity. My head is just too disproportionately small.

[Ellie]

And also, I keep getting my feet stuck in the door. So that was really embarrassing. God, I just can't get out of a car without slamming it on my lower half of my body because it's all flat down here on this butt.

[Ben]

And, you know, it hates. Like, it has a real issue with T shirts because, like, well, the thing is this. I need to have a wide T shirt to fit my body, but my head is so small, so the neck hole always just looks so gaping, and

[Ellie]

it always wants to play paddleball. They're like, stop making your faults into a positive eel. It's like, no, look, I can hit it. I can hit it with my butt. Okay?

[Ben]

Teeny, tiny head. Why is his head so small? Area is like, hello. Yeah. Like, it's not even supposed to have a head.

[Ellie]

14 love. 14 love. I may have a small head, but I'm killing it in tennis. Bring it on, Gigi Fernandez. I'm not afraid of you.

[Ben]

Does it. I hope everyone appreciates the gentle current I'm creating. So for all you. For all you fish that are looking for some. For some plankton, I'm helping you out. Thanks, but no thanks, I suppose.

[Ellie]

Hey, did I hear there's a wedding? Let's do the snake. Let's do this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Ben]

Like, oh, God, there it is doing this dance move again. It's like.

[Ellie]

It's like Kyle Richardson or splits. It's like, oh, God, he's doing the worm again. Here we go. You've got upper body strength. Strength.

[Ben]

Well, I'm very self conscious about what I eat because everyone can see it.

[Ellie]

Most terrifying stingray I've ever seen. Is this a bat? Is it hairy?

[Ben]

This is a.

[Ellie]

What's going on?

[Ben]

It looks so hairy. It's a. I think this is actually a manta ray. This is big. And it's so big that in the on. Honestly, in the next shot of. Looks like a behemoth.

[Ellie]

It looks like that's the same thing. I thought that was a different fish.

[Ben]

It looks like a monster back there. Look, how huge it is. It's like.

[Ellie]

It looks like a whale. And array. And look at that mouth. It looks like someone's doing a puppet show. Is that his mouth or is that one of. What is that? This thing's terrifying.

[Ben]

Just wait, just. Can you go forward a little bit so we can see some again, more?

[Ellie]

Oh, he's got a skull under him. He's got the painting of a skull on his underside. I would not with this one. Whoever is on the B roll team is brave.

[Ben]

Yeah. I think they're docile, though.

[Ellie]

I think that doesn't look awesome.

[Ben]

I do remember there was a News story about 15 years ago that, you know, sometimes these, you know, rays, sometimes they will. Was it breaching or whatever. They sometimes come jumping out of the water. They like to do that? Yeah, like to go jumping out. And there was a new story of one of these manta rays jumped out of the water just as a boat was approaching and it slammed into a woman on the. On the deck of that boat and she died. I think the ray died too. Isn't that crazy?

[Ellie]

So much for being docile.

[Ben]

I know.

[Ellie]

Actually this does look like a skull and bones on its underside, but it also looks like Bueller on my dog. Oddly enough.

[Ben]

Like, it has a little here. This one looks like Africa.

[Ellie]

That is one terrifying looking fish. Okay, so let's all clear our palates by looking at this sweet turtle taking a nap with his friend, the starfish.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ellie]

Wow.

[Ben]

I love this unlikely couple. Turtle, Starfish. What a duo, right? It's so cute.

[Ellie]

It's like a French. It's like a dodo video where the dog hugs the cat.

[Ben]

I know the turtle's like, well, I hear that there's a shark that's been sleeping recently. And I think if the shark can sleep, I can sleep. Am I right? Okay, starfish. They had a successful date.

[Ellie]

Everyone wants to be close to me because I'm a star. All right, love your dad joke. Love your dad joke. God, I just love spending time with you. Starfish.

[Ben]

Which way do you think the starfish is pointing? Like so, you know, I know that their faces are on the bottom, but, like, I like to think that, like, one of those legs is the face and then two of them are the hands and two of their feet. Right? And so if you think of it like the head of the one closest, that's really cute. But I also like to think, like, it gets cuter in every single scenario. Like, no, Whichever place you orient the head, you get a different kind of cute look. If that makes sense. They're like different cute scenarios for the starfish.

[Ellie]

This is an adorable starfish and I love its outfit. I mean, that's really cool. It's like red and beaded.

[Ben]

Part of me, it is beautiful. Part of me wonders if the starfish really likes having the turtle nearby. I feel like the starfish is like, you know, I love the turtle, but the thing is that I like having my own space when I sleep.

[Ellie]

The turtle is like, would you stop hanging out with people who literally can't run away from you, okay? It doesn't mean they want to be your friend. Starfish can't move, okay? What are you doing?

[Ben]

They're gossiping, but they're gossiping before they fall asleep. And then the starfish is like, just trying to fall asleep, but the turtle's like. And then here's the other thing. So that one fish, it's really cute, but it's always like, take a picture of me in front of the girl. Take a picture of me in front of the girl. It's like, I don't want to take another picture of you in front of the girl. In fact, that's all that you have on your grid. Like, show some real personality. It's not about backgrounds. The starfish is like, I just want to go to sleep.

[Ellie]

The starfish is like, oh, yeah? Well, did you hear about that manta Ray? His brother ran into a boat. Fucking idiot. Look at him up there. Skull and bones, T shirt. Nobody's scared of you. Your family's idiots, okay? You're all idiots. It's the end of the fish report. Fish report. This has been a fish report.

[Ben]

Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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[Ben]

Hey, sweetie, your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car.

[Ellie]

I'm going to give it a try.

[Ben]

Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable. Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway.

[Ellie]

Carvana, give it a whirl.

[Ben]

Love ya.

[Ellie]

So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it.

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[Ellie]

Okay, so now Ben is down in the galley, and he's like, all right, we're gonna work on the cake. It's a big project, and you did a beautiful job icing that ca. My little dulce de leche diaphragm. All right,

[Ben]

thank you. And he's like, yeah. So he's like, yeah, just get some extra icing, pipe it around so it's white.

[Ellie]

Nice.

[Ben]

And that will be nice, right? Okay. Very great. My messy macaron. So then on the beach, the guests are drinking rum punch. They're all happy. The wedding setup is going on. People really like Alicia's spicy Tabasco margarita. And Jenna and Eddie are trying to set up the wedding on the sun deck. And Jenna's, you know, just chatting with him and everything, and she's. He's. She's saying, this is gonna be for our wedding one day. He's like, in South Africa. Come on. Hi. Yeah, I lived in South Africa my whole life. You're gonna take me back to my home country. He's like, yeah, or we'll get married in New Zealand then.

[Ellie]

And she tells us, you know, what can I say? Love is in the air now maybe I'll forgive him now, you know, maybe I'm over the situation with him and Lisa. Maybe we could be past that. Maybe I could have a little flat back. Boo.

[Ben]

His. Why do they always do this? They always fall for it. Just lonely. Lonely and horny on this part.

[Ellie]

I feel like this whole episode, it opened with the Amanda and West news, and now we're here, and I just feel this is an episode, like it's okay to be alone, you know?

[Ben]

Yeah, it is. It is.

[Ellie]

Calm down, everybody. Calm down. So now we go back to the. The galley where Ellie is frosting her cake, and he's like, oh, look at that. It's a little pineapple right side up cake. Isn't it? Isn't that bad? She's like, oh, it's going to make it more difficult to transfer. Oh, you're so clever, aren't you? Aren't you? When we ice it, can we put the pineapple? Beautiful. We want to put pineapple. I know you're gonna do a good job. I feel it. I feel it. Kobe gally. She's like, oh, my God. I'm going to do my best too, chef. What the hell? Jeez. These two made a turn.

[Ben]

Yeah, I think. I think basically having the captain say, like, get it together. I think, like, they both were just like, okay, we gotta. We gotta make this work. So now the guests are ready to head back, and Jenna, meanwhile, is still setting up this arc on the. On the deck, and she's like, mark, Mark, I'm gonna grab some more vines. Can you help move the fiery lots? Mark, can you give me the fair lots? You're not gonna listen to me anyway, huh? And Mike is in a corner making,

[Ellie]

like, different shapes out of his ball skin. And so then everyone comes to get changed, and we go back to the sun deck, and Jenna's still decorating, and Mike claps at her to hurry up. She's like, don't clap your hands at me. I've asked you for fairy lights. And Daisy comes out. She's like, we've got less than 45 minutes. Jenna. You've got 45 minutes. You better hurry up. I'm actually gonna get really annoyed. Come. Stop wasting time. Mark, you.

[Ben]

I've asked him for fairy lights, and there's, like, fairy lights. There's no right fairy lights around where the fairy lights. Like, there's no fairy lights in the books. Got the fair lights. Ds like, okay, I'll catch you.

[Ellie]

The fair lights.

[Ben]

Come on, hurry up, you guys. Mike's like, I just need Janet to work faster so we can all get it done quicker. It's like, I'm getting really passed off at you now. It's like, you know, when Jenna's not in the mood for jokes, it makes me want to wind her up even more. Like, that's great, but you're working, and so don't wind up the person you're trying to have a smooth workplace with. Just get the fairy lights already.

[Ellie]

You know those little gnomes in front of houses that people put out? I feel like this Mike is the reason why people kick those over.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ellie]

So Daisy comes back with fairy lights, and they finish it. It's a huge achievement. And now Ellie's icing the cake. Everybody's loving it. Now on the sund deck, Mike's like, oh, it looks really wonderful. I don't know what's going on with the art. It looks like we're wrapping a mum. Me? Shut up, Mike. Okay, I just want to get changed in 10 minutes. Can we do that? Can we do.

[Ben]

Looks really beautiful. It's like, stop doing that. I really feel like you're so condescending, Mike. And he's like, okay, guys, Chris, quiet down. He's like, I'm just doing the favorites. Like, I'm really frustrated. Oh, God, me. If they stopped bickering, this would be done by now.

[Ellie]

So you just bicker and bicker and bicker, and it's like, oh, my God. Children, let's go. So now it's 15 minutes until the ceremony, and it looks great. Looks great, everybody. So Elysio radios the crew that the guests are ready, and then we go to the bar with Ben, Eddie, and Betul, and Ben's like, this is. This is pretty cool, right, Batul? Or right, Eddie? And he's like, when's the last wedding you went to? And he goes, I just missed one. It was my.

[Ben]

Oh, clearly tonight, that is reminiscently triggering for me. But I'm going to put my thoughts behind me. I've already ruined one wedding, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna ruin another. I'm sensitive now. So then we see Jason and Daisy and Joao in the sun deck, and. And they're all goofing off, ready for this wedding to start. And Daisy's like, if I happen to find myself in a committed relationship, perhaps with Gara, yeah, I might have a small wedding, the rent address. And I certainly will not be spending money. But I'm not 22 with a Pinterest board of my dream wedding. I have a Pinterest board of pita chips. That's what I've got. And I'm like, dude, I just trying to get to my second date.

[Ellie]

So now is the wedding, and the guys are all cute and crying, and they're like, oh, you're my heart. You're my home. I love you. The other one's like, yeah, thanks for understanding me and controlling me unconditionally. And I don't know, by me. This weird silk one piece I'm wearing. But I promised to be. I. I'm gonna be your support. Wow. And so bay in beige.

[Ben]

Oh, honey.

[Ellie]

So they kiss, and it's nice, and everyone's cheering. Drink. Oh, my God. So then it's dinner time today.

[Ben]

I'd like to just. I just would like to say today, Mark and clay, may your days be filled with joys, unites with laughter and the in betweens, the boundaries. I now pronounce you boundary and boundary.

[Ellie]

Oh, I put this ring on your finger, otherwise known as a boundary. Right. Other people will see that you're now married. Congratulations. Boundary people. Kiss. Kiss. Do it. Oh, gold. They kissed. So then everyone goes to dinner, and Ben serves a filet mignon with panko encrusted baby eggplant. That. And the cake is ready. The cake is ready. And Jason tells the guests about his daughter Saskia, and he's actually grew up in the Philippines. She's got the Filipino empathy in sympathy. Good. Thank God for those Filipinos. They really can feel things, you know, I called her the other day and I said, I'm hungry. And she said, for M M's. And I said, thank God for the Filipino in you, little girl.

[Ben]

She's got the Filipino empathy, the Filipino sympathy, and the Australian sandalwood. That's what she's got out of it. She wants to care for everyone. Oh.

[Ellie]

So. And it's pretty. It's a pineapple cake. And everyone's like, oh, my God, it's the cake. And then Daisy, by the way, sorry,

[Ben]

did you notice that the. The top tier of that cake was so teeny tiny? It was like the size of a tomato paste can. Because it was like. Like they're, you know, getting progressively smaller. But the top tier, it was. It was like. So it was like a little column. And I was like, I think the proportions are wrong on that. Ben, how dare you?

[Ellie]

So Daisy is telling Betool she could be a stew. She's so helpful. She's like, stop saying that. She goes, no, you did a great job. She goes, never. Geez.

[Ben]

Also, I have also. I don't even know what you just said. I just want you to stop saying it. I'm tired.

[Ellie]

So the guests go to bed, and Ellie and Ben are really nice to each other. He compliments. Compliments her cake. And it's like, good teamwork. And he's like, yeah, that's right. So then the next morning, now it's breakfast time. And Ben's like, this is the great egg challenge. They've got to be perfect. They just don't need to look like

[Ben]

they went through a car wash. Yeah, exactly. And Alicia's cleaning a nightstand, and she's saying to herself, alicia, what am I doing? Which I think she does all the time. It seems like, and so Daisy sends Jenna to help her because God forbid, Alicia can actually succeed at any task on this boat.

[Ellie]

And so Daisy opens a nightstand, and Alicia was cleaning it. And she finds the towel Alicia was using to clean in the nightstand drawer. So she's like, guys, Carl, come in here. Look what I've just found. For sake. I don't. Don't make my job any harder than it needs to be. And Alicia goes, it was definitely Mikey. And then they show the clip again

[Ben]

of Alicia leaving it there. Oh, God. And he's like, jenna, just please double check. Jenna's like, it's ridiculous how Lisa and I and Mike just, like, don't give a damn. And they're like, making me look bad around, and I'm already feeling the pressure second still. So, like, now the cleaning cloth, it's just like, so b. So then we dock the boat successfully without any drama, and the guests are filling out their comment cards. And then they say goodbye. And kids, like, I get emotional, but you guys have made this so special. And we both come from very humble, beige beginnings. And to be on a 36 million dollar yacht with a crew like this, with watery eggs and slow service and panty liners attached to the walls of our closet, it's just absolutely phenomenal. Thank you so much. Thank you.

[Ellie]

We come from humble beginnings. You don't say. Your husband is standing next to you in a Louis Vuitton bucket hat, a goose Gucci belt. He's like the Amanda Francis of this. There's just like brands falling all over him. So they leave, and Alicia's like, I love, love and seen Clay and Mark together. They've definitely got something really strong and secure. It's something I aspire, me and my boyfriend to have. You've been with your boyfriend for five minutes, Alicia, calm down with this. Yeah, it's like. And, you know, we're not quite renewing our vows yet, but one day I can't wait to leave a rag in his drawer.

[Ben]

So Daisy and Ben are in the crew mess, and Daisy's like, how are you feeling? And Ben's like, well, I feel like I just did 15 rounds with Muhammad Ali and got the kicked out of me. And we didn't even have our wedding yet. All right, so.

[Ellie]

Oh, sorry. So Jason calls Ellie up to the bridge and he's like, now listen, I've. I've got. Not got a problem with Ellie, you know, having issues, but the way she went about him, that's the problem. So he calls her in and he's like, And Ben needs to take account for the original issue. I want to. I want them to see at the season and work well together, but it's a risk. So I've got to see if this can work. So I'm going to call them to the bridge, and then I'm going to stand outside the door and I'm going to see what happens.

[Ben]

All right, you two, I think you guys need to have a chat now. And I was in emotionally. She wants more respect. I want to see that result. And if you have a problem with that, we make changes. So, as the captain, it's my responsibility to oversee this conversation and mediate it by stepping out of the room and finding some M M's. So good luck. Boundaries. Do the thing. I'll see you in about 10 minutes, boy.

[Ellie]

All right. Thank you. Bourbon ball. Biceps. All right, Ellie, let's get down to it.

[Ben]

Why are you. Why are you leaving? I feel like the captain should stay and oversee this because the cat.

[Ellie]

This is Captain Jason. I'm telling you, Captain Jason hates this. Every time there's a problem, he's like, all right, here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna work it out, all right? I'll be. I'll be my. In my cabin. Hands off. Approach, guys. Hands off. All right, everybody, thank you so much for being with us today. We will be back. Back, actually very soon. Tomorrow and the next day and the next day for the rest of your lives. Come check on us. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you soon.

[Ben]

Check on us.

[Ellie]

Bye.

[Ben]

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[Ellie]

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[Ben]

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[Ellie]

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