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Ben Mandelker
Happens A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and charming Ronnie Caram. Hello R Karam, how are you?
Ronnie Caram
Good. What's going on with you?
Ben Mandelker
Not nothing much, just had a lovely weekend. Hope everyone had a great weekend and if you were celebrating Easter, Passover or anything else, hope you had a great time. Very exciting times around here because it's a new season of Atlanta so we're gon diving into that recap shortly. Before we get into that, just the usual things to remind you of which is that our Patreon is a wonderful world of joy. It really does. It's you know, talk about Easter eggs. They're all over Patreon except they are not hidden. They're all the goodies are out there on the table for you to see. They are like the Cadbury Creme eggs in the store aisle tempting you every time you walk by. We got bonus episodes, a free newsletter to all and video crap. It's on demand and we have a Patreon community and we also have ad free listening so go to watch www.patreon.com watch what? Crabbins. Excuse me. As I just burp in my mouth and sign up and have a great time with it. Okay.
Ronnie Caram
I like that you had the WWW There.
Ben Mandelker
I know. I was like, that was old school.
Ronnie Caram
It's a throwback.
Ben Mandelker
Want to make sure you get the right Internet superhighway address. So that's that. I don't think there's anything else really to. To shout out at the top of this episode. Oh, of course. There's actually two big things to shout out, which is that we're doing Amazon live this afternoon, which we always have a fun time with. And then tonight. Hello. I can't. I should have led with this. I'm so silly. Crappy hour. I mean, this is gonna be a crappy hour, right? 5:30pm West coast time. 8:30 East coast time. Because we are in the middle of a Bravo scandal, and we have not had a crappy hour since it broke. So we will be catching up on the latest, you know, Weston, Amanda headlines and whatever else is happening on Bravo, because there's plenty more happening. But come join us. And also, don't forget, you do get to come out on the stage and chat with us at the end. So we want people to come and chat with us and love to hear your opinions on this very pressing news cycle. So that is it. And, Ronnie, what did you think about the Atlanta premiere?
Ronnie Caram
Loved it. I spent all morning listening to K. Michelle.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, great.
Ronnie Caram
Because I didn't know a lot of her music. She's great.
Ben Mandelker
I should tell.
Ronnie Caram
So I saw K. Michelle on Sherri shepherd, and she was with a couple of the other ladies from the show, and she was really giving it to Drew. She's really being shady to Drew Sedora because I guess Drew's trying to compete with her in her music career or whatever. Girl, just stop it. Drew just. You are barking up the. The wrong tree, ma'. Am. This woman is amazing. I listened to, like, probably, like, three of her. Well, you know, I put it on Apple music, so I just said, play, K. Michelle. And so I heard her new country music. That's like, anybody want a broken heart or something like that? Hey, anybody need a broken heart? Something like that. And it was really good. And then it just started playing through her albums. She's great. Drew, you just need to. Sometimes you just need to have a. Have a nice sit down and breathe deeply before you say anything, because there's no competition here. Ma', am, that's.
Ben Mandelker
That's not really what Drew does. You know, I. I've heard of K. Michelle for all these years. But, you know, I am very much in. Kind of, like, got blinders on purely for Bravo. So I'm not like, I've dabbled in other ecosystems. Drag race. Like, I barely even. I really haven't even touched 90 Day Fiance, Bachelor. We have all these different categories, and the VH1 worlds of, like, love and hip hop, etc. She obviously has been a big personality in that, so I've always heard her, but I haven't really experienced her. And so then after watching the show when Drew was like, k. Michelle, she's a singer, I think, or used to be. And so I looked up the Wikipedia pages. K. Michelle's Wikipedia page of her music is, like, extensive. It's like, here's the discography. Single, single, single, single, whatever. This album debuted at number two on the Billboard Hot 200, like, the overall charts, and this one also at number two. And then I went over to look at Drew's Wikipedia page, and she has, like, a very robust TV and film critics thing. Film, not critics, you know, credits. When you look at Drew's discography, it's not even the. It's a paragraph. It's like a little paragraph that's like, Drew released a song three years ago, and also she released a song last year with Dennis. She's done some other, like, little things. Oh, my God.
Ronnie Caram
Yes.
Ben Mandelker
The fact that you are, like, here is someone who is, like, famous enough that she is penetrating the mindset of people who are not watching her shows necessarily, or even listening to her music. And she has all these credits, and Drew is just gonna try to be like, I haven't even heard of her. Drew, come on. Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Drew's like, what? She used to be a singer, right? Oh, yeah. Drew, like, insinuating she's a Has been girl. This lady has, like, 8 million followers on Instagram. Drew has almost 800,000, you know, which is still good. It's not even that the point isn't here, like, to diss Drew, like, start your dream. That's great that you're doing your dream. It's not even that. It's just like, she's the one suggesting that someone else is a. Has been. And yeah, babe, Drew, this lady was
Ben Mandelker
brought in to save your show. You were not brought in to save her show. She was brought in to help you out because your show has not found its footing yet. Although I actually really enjoyed last season. But that being said, like, last season
Ronnie Caram
was an improvement moment, for sure.
Ben Mandelker
It was, it was. But, like, it's just so Funny that she was like, I'm not familiar.
Ronnie Caram
No idea. Nope. Can we, can we start wearing name tags around here? I love that K. Michelle came in already exhausted. I thought that was very funny, that she's like, oh, my God, these bitches. She's already like, these bitches are tiring. You know, last time I was around a group of women, which I'm assuming is one of the love and hip hops, she's like, they tore me down and they dated my ex and they did all this stuff to me, and they're. I'm like, wow, you're already prepared and you're already exhausted that you have to be back on one of these reality shows. She's like, oh, this. The minute they start fighting, she's like, I'm gonna be hanging out with the men. And I'm not coming in dress code, by the way, either to your party. Like, I'm already sick of you people.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And there was something about her. And like, she sort of. I, I, I felt like I could see what she would look like when she's like 75 or 80 years old. There was something about her in a way that I really liked. I'm not saying that she looked old. She doesn't look old at all. But, like, there was something about her mannerisms where I'm like, I could see her sort of, like, showing up in a kitchen and telling people how to, like, cook something, you know, like. And I kind of really enjoyed that. Like, I got, like, some Sophia Petrillo energy from her. I can't explain how. It's like, in a weird way, I can't describe it, but I was like, I can sort of see her as a little old lady at one point. And I like that. That sort of endeared.
Ronnie Caram
Well, I'll tell you this. She will never be little. She'll be, she'll be like an. When she's older, her boobs will still be up to her chin.
Ben Mandelker
They will be, you know, those things, Those boobs are impressive.
Ronnie Caram
The Atlanta boobs are something else. And also the Rhode island boobs are something else. Atlanta and Rhode island boobs are completely in their, in their own space. Like, where. What, what are they even doing over there? And they're, they're great, but they're like anime, anime style. They're just like, make them big and make them as crazy as possible. Like, okay, I know there's one person
Ben Mandelker
out there who's really excited about those boobs and his last name rhymes with gloam. But, like, for sure. Like, those boobs are big and with the golome.
Ronnie Caram
Who is that?
Ben Mandelker
Husband. If you have to explain the joke. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, you have to explain the joke. It's not a good joke in the first place.
Ronnie Caram
I just assumed you were going with Andy Cohen because he's gonna be. Tell me about your boobs. We were. Well, we were so happy to welcome your boobs onto this season. Let's talk about them. Where'd you get them? How much were they? When you get new ones?
Ben Mandelker
I. I liked K. Michelle right away. I think she's gonna have a good energy for this show. And, well, it's funny, they brought in K. Michelle. They also brought in Pinky. Pinky Cole. Is that. Is her last name Cole?
Ronnie Caram
Yes.
Ben Mandelker
Who? They both are.
Ronnie Caram
Both.
Ben Mandelker
They're both two media trained personalities. They're like, we need. We want to get people in here who, like, know what they're doing in front of the camera. So they came in, like, right away. They were very comfortable on camera, which is good. My concern that I have with this premiere is that some of the newbies from last year were like, I don't know what was going on. I felt like they were working extra hard to be liked by America. I felt like Kelly and Shamia were like, what was going on with them? What was this? You know, you often say the community theater, you know, vibe is happening on some of these shows. To me, they were doing big time community theater. They were being like freshmen in the ensemble, you know, of the high school musical. Just trying to be like, big and like, endear themselves to the director or maybe even to the seniors who have the leads or whatever. But, like, I was like, they were so over the top, especially Kelly. I thought Kelly was.
Ronnie Caram
Well, Kelly's always like that. Oh, my God, so annoying. It's just always so, like,
Ben Mandelker
it was
Ronnie Caram
like, are you on a roller coaster her? What is going on with you? It's like, like you're just saying hello. It's like someone just walked in, say, girl, hi. Like, calm yourself. It's not that exciting.
Ben Mandelker
It's like these theater kids and like. And Shamia, like, I historically have always really enjoyed Shamia, and I even. I liked her last year. But wow, right off the.
Ronnie Caram
Halfway through last year. Shamia lost me halfway through last year. And I don't know, I think the only newbie they should have kept was Angela. Angela. I think that they should have brought on two noobs. Yeah, well, I love her extra because it's just. It's funny. To me, you know her like, well, you know, I'm, you know, her PI thing and like looking at everybody's stuff and then her like jumping on housewives storylines like you're a mob leader or you know, now trying to convince us that she's so. Her husband is so in love with her. I think that is the most. I think that's the funniest like running gag that she's trying to always convince us that Charles likes her. And so she's funny to me and I believe that she's real. I believe that Shamia and Kelly are faking it. They're trying to fake something and they're trying to find some kind of character that's going to work and shimmy. You've been here a long time. I mean, last season was her first main season, but she's been here long enough that she's like, had a try, she's had a. She's had a good go of it. It doesn't work. And Kelly is just, she hasn't relaxed, like, she hasn't relaxed into her role at all. So I say that we probably don't need those two.
Ben Mandelker
But I kind of feel the same way. I think that like Angela's great. Like when I said that she's being extra, I don't mean that she was being annoying or anything, but I just noticed that like she had like slightly more energy than she normally does, which is because she normally has very low energy and she's normally like, I'm Angela. And this time she was like, she like did some like little dance. She had like some moment where I was like, Angela doesn't normally do that. She's being, she's showing more energy than normal. She. But I have no notes for, for Angela. That was just a mere observation. But I do think that with Shamia and Kelly, especially Shamia, I got the sense that she was paying attention to the feedback that she was getting from the audience. Cuz I think the audience was largely aligned with you, Ronnie. And I think she's trying to be like funny and likable and like she knows she's now in a feud with Porsche. So she's trying to be the one that the audience likes. And like when she did that like extended bit where she was like, this is. Let me pantomime what the text message was. And I was like. And it went on for so long and I was like, let me pantomime me fast forwarding. Except I'm not pantomiming, I'm actually doing it. It Was too much.
Ronnie Caram
Well, here's another thing they haven't fixed. Besides her and Kelly, they have not fixed the green screens. I mean, those are still crazy. Why does it look like Shamia is in space and then Drew does one same intertwine where they sit her? Yeah, they sit Drew in this weird angle to where the. Her background is the closet door. It's like a pantry door. Why. Why would you do that? There's a piano on the other side of her. Do the other side of her.
Ben Mandelker
I thought the same thing, especially with Shamir, because it looks so janky. All of last season, I was like, you guys are using the same background. Like, the chair that Shamia is sitting in is not scaled proportionately to the furniture behind her on the green screen. And it's also at a different angle. So, like, the sofa's going up, but the chair is going down. And you're like. In terms of perspective. And I'm like, she looks this, and it makes her look tiny as a result. She's like little mini Shamia in her giant furniture amongst giant sofas. I was like, guys, can you just go in there with your phone and just take a photo and use that? Because this is not working. And. And again, Drew, like, putting her chair right in the middle of her foyer, where you see her dining room back there and her front door the other way. The other corner. Like, what is going on with this show? Why have they not made some quality of life improvements?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, I don't know. But overall, a really fun episode. Porsche's coming back in with the standard, like, rent a boyfriend kind of a storyline.
Ben Mandelker
You know, when I think.
Ronnie Caram
I think later, she comes out of the closet and we meet her girlfriend. Right? Because that's the story. She's with a. Oh, she's with a woman now. So I don't know if this was all fake. She wasn't gonna do that, but this seems fake. Very, very fake.
Ben Mandelker
He's an actor. He. He's. He has a whole series of credits. Like, people on Twitter saying he's an actor. And people are like, oh, my God, Porsche hired a boyfriend. Now she's. It's also possible that she's just. Just dating a guy who's an actor. So it's hard to know, but the fact that he is an actor is sort of curious. But we'll see. We'll see. I thought it was a. I thought it was a fine premiere. I didn't think it was anything amazing, personally, but, in fact, I thought actually, at some points it was actually Slow. But I do think it's a good cast and I think that it will. I think it was a good, like, hey, you know, start of the season, we're gonna get it going and I'm optimistic.
Ronnie Caram
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Yeah. And by the way, they have a coffee flavor. And I find that that's the perfect treat because I am a coffee girly and I'm a treat girly. So put them together and give me some coffee cachava. Am I right?
Ronnie Caram
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Ronnie Caram
So we start with someone sitting down in a chair in front of a green screen and turning on a tv. And so we see some, you know, we see some stuff coming up from the season, but guess what? It turns out to be Cynthia. And Cynthia turns around and she's like, I'm watching. What did she say?
Ben Mandelker
It's her line now. What else is going on? Now?
Ronnie Caram
I thought this was her line.
Ben Mandelker
That's Cynthia's. That's like one of her famous lines is she doesn't know what else it is going on.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, that's a Cynthia, like, famous meme.
Ben Mandelker
Yes. She. It was like, I forget what the full line was, but, like, the. The vibe of the original line was like, I don't want to talk about that now. What else is going on? It's kind of like she shut something down and said, okay, I have to look it up now because I'm totally, totally bastardizing Cynthia's famous line. Cynthia Bailey now what else is going on? She had autocorrects. Oh. She goes, oh, her line is, I'm so stupid. Her line is, I'm Cynthia Bailey now. What else is going on? I like that. My version was, I don't want to talk about that now. What else is going on?
Ronnie Caram
You know, I've seen every episode of Real housewives of Atlanta, most of them multiple times, especially the earlier seasons. And I could not name a Cynthia meme even if you paid me. Like, a Cynthia line. That's sad.
Ben Mandelker
50 Cent. Not even 50 Cent.
Ronnie Caram
Well, but that's not a line. It's just.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I think this is her line. This is her line. What else is going on? I think the vibe was kind of like. Like. Yeah, well, yeah, of course I, like, killed that thing. Of course. I was amazing in this. I'm Cynthia Bailey now. What else is going on? Like, so obvious that we don't have to talk about it anymore. What else?
Ronnie Caram
I get it. I just don't.
Ben Mandelker
What else?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, I just don't remember. What else. Here's my question on Cynthia Bailey. What else was on?
Ben Mandelker
Here's my question. Like, we love Cynthia. We also just did her show with. With Crystal. Check it out. Humble brag. She's great. Like, just the sweetest. But it's kind of funny that they had this moment where we see kind of like the half trailer, and then this anonymous lady who was watching it turns around and it's Cynthia. Almost, like, plot twist. Cynthia's back, but it's like, it wasn't a twist because we all knew, and she was back last season. And also, she's like, she's already been here. So, like, why? It was, like, a cool moment, but I didn't get it. I didn't get why I didn't get the purpose of the cool moment.
Ronnie Caram
Maybe it's a new producer, Jack. You guys, Cynthia's back.
Ben Mandelker
Maybe she's encouraging us to watch a different channel. Okay, so this is what's happening on Bravo. What else is going on? Like, well, Discovery has something on about
Ronnie Caram
pawn shops, Something about love overboard. I don't know.
Ben Mandelker
Very little responses.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So the Count of Monte Cristo is a. Is a lovely PBS show.
Ben Mandelker
Sue AI is chatting in. Oh, well, what else is going on? Well, according to the listings, it looks like we have a royal wedding happening on A. E. Sue, you're lying again. I. I did make that up. I. I got.
Ronnie Caram
You're right. Yeah. I don't know. I don't really know. So we see some scenes, and then we flash to the beginning of the season, and Phaedra's at home asking Aiden, who is like, like, what is he running for congress? Like, he's so old now. I know. Like, running Congress. It's like, he's, like, a full lawyer now. And so they're chatting in the kitchen, and they're talking about his homecoming date, and he's like, I just want her to Be really good looking. And Phaedra's like, not very good looking, but what if she's not smart? And he's like, well, we need, we need you, you to get someone good too, Mom. Like maybe Drake.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, drake? Oh, God, yeah. Jersey Drake. He's rich too. She goes, I'm rich. Now we see Kelly dropping her daughter Chloe off in college, and they've got this whole dorm room that's set up. And now we ultimately land in Angela's house where she is trying. She's got her grill up to 5, 000 degrees and smoke is coming off everywhere. And she's trying to, like, put some burgers on.
Ronnie Caram
And.
Ben Mandelker
And Charles is like, it's too hot. She's like, no, Charles, it's great. So she's saying that she declares that she's the best cook in the house, which is purely telling us, we know, to. To make sure that Charles gets annoyed when he watches this episode. Like, she was like, I. She recorded that probably in what, like November, January. Knowing she's like, I'm just gonna wait. I'm gonna wait the three or four months for Charles to watch this and get mad.
Ronnie Caram
It's just a slow burn. She's like, I can wait. He's gonna plant a bunch of shit he can get mad at later. I'll tell you this about Charles. I have never tasted his food. I know that he cooks a lot of it. As we saw last year as he was cooking, you know, £90,000 of food every episode. So I know he cooks a lot. Also, I know that he does not clean that grill because, God damn, that thing was about to explode. There was so much smoke coming out of it. I think it's because it wasn't cleaned. You know why? Because I don't clean my grill either. And it almost explodes.
Ben Mandelker
Yep.
Ronnie Caram
I don't believe in it.
Ben Mandelker
I, I. My grill, I try, I clean the grates, but the thing is, the stuff that falls down below, it's dangerous. And yeah, I've had definitely. Yeah. Fires emerge from below the great. Like fire.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, me too. I'm everyone who doesn't clean their grill on the regular. Saw what was happening in this scene and that thing was about to explode. And I believe the fire cleans. Fire cleanses. If it were possible, I would take showers and fire because,
Ben Mandelker
wow, testimony for fire. Hi, I'm Rock Fire, and I approve this fire.
Ronnie Caram
It's what sets us apart from the animals. Okay, I've seen Jungle Book. I've seen Jungle Book.
Ben Mandelker
I set fire to the shower.
Ronnie Caram
So I actually did just watch Jungle Book a couple months ago. The live action one. It is so good. Okay, carrying on. So Amari comes out, and she's like, mom, those burgers look like hockey pucks. And she's like, oh, God, Charles is the ultimate controller. Like, he's going to troll me. But, you know, Charles and I are stronger than ever, and we've been making great strides in our marriage. And we're still standing. And she serves him a hockey puck. And he. You. You hear? It's like, as he bites down, he's like, oh, this is great. This is. This is great. So they've had some therapy, and Angela's like, damn it, you are going to love me on camera, and you are going to stand by me and support me, damn it. And he's like, okay. And he's trying, but God damn, she's making it hard already. It's been five seconds.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, exactly. And yeah, she was saying that, like, he's like the ultimate troller. But so then she also says, Charles decided to do a relationship podcast, and they asked the question of what made you get married. And we see Charles in this podcast, and he's like, I think somebody might have put something in my drink that night.
Ronnie Caram
So
Ben Mandelker
romance is always, ever present.
Ronnie Caram
I love grouchy ass Charles. And she's like, but, you know, Charles is the one that actually planned to get married, and he's the one who planned for us to go to Vegas. So for him to say that, I was just like, what? Where's this coming from? And he's like, well, I didn't say that you drugged me, did I? She's like, well, who else would have drugged you? I mean, you're basically saying you didn't choose to marry me, Charles. And he's like, but I apologize. I told you about it. I just swallowed a doorstopper to make you happy.
Ben Mandelker
Okay? She's like, well, I'm not gonna shut down another rumor. And she basically is saying, you know all the rumors from last year about June Bug and that happened at the waffle party, when she said during Toast Gate, which I'm like, do we. Are we calling it Toast Gate? Because if you see that guy who, like, was like, toast to Charles and his. Whatever his. His mistress is, she's like, I don't care. I don't care. Care. You know what? Like, whatever rumor you have about Charles, I don't care. Like, Angela this year doesn't care. I heard he sleeps with a stocking cap in his hair. I don't care. I hear he rolls his hair up in pink rollers. I don't care. I hear he uses Pantene. I don't care. I'm like, wow, Angela, you're really obsessed with these hair rumors for Charles, huh?
Ronnie Caram
So she's like, come on now, hug me. And he's like. She's like, you said you would. You said you wouldn't. Therapy. So he's like, oh, I'm. You know, I'm gonna hug you. She's like, you want to touch my booty now? He's like, like, okay, take it this a little far. Can you please just take the car keys you put in between hamburger buns out of my face and leave me alone? Take a nap.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Now we go over to Porsche. Porsche is at a photo shoot, so Derek Blanks is in the background. I feel like Derek Blanks does not get enough credit on Atlanta for being kind of like an ongoing recurring character, because it's like they do, like, 10 photo shoots every season on this show, and they're all with dark blanks. So here we have our first, because
Ronnie Caram
his last name is Blank.
Ben Mandelker
Blank Space, baby.
Ronnie Caram
Hi, my name is Ronnie Nothing. Anybody want to hang out? Nope. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody.
Ben Mandelker
Because what was the thing that. I know he just did some other photo shoot recently. Oh, it was for. It was actually for Jackie on Marriage Medicine this past season where he was doing tick tocks for Jackie for her scrubs. So Portia K. Michelle enters, and Portia
Portia Williams
is saying, like, I've known K. Michelle through the years. Our worlds have kind of been peril. People always said that we look alike, but we've done a movie together, and, of course, I enjoy your music career.
Ben Mandelker
And we see Kate Michelle performing on stage, and then K. Michelle introduces herself to us.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. She says she's K. Michelle. She's known to her family and the country music world as Puddin. And she's even got a belt buckle that says Puddin. Okay. She's a mom, a singer, an actress, a songwriter. She's got four number one albums on Billboard, five gold records, two platinum records. God damn. I was like, oh, my God. What are you doing here? Yeah, seriously, did you miss your ride to somewhere else? I mean, what are you doing?
Ben Mandelker
She says, I've made a lot of songs that make people smile, laugh, cry, dance. I just like, okay, that's great. She goes, I'm a mood changer, so support.
Portia Williams
She's like, I'm proud of you.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, thank you.
Portia Williams
She's like, so the new so the new area that you're stepping into, country music, you know what they think about people of our color. Right.
Ben Mandelker
Because that is a fair observation. And K. Michelle's just like, you know what? When I started my musical career, the record labels said it would be easier for me to do R B than it was to do country. And she's like, every time she would do, like, an R B album, she's like, can I do my country album now? Can I do it yet? And they'd be like, yeah, but this just doesn't sound black enough. And so finally she's like, you know what? I'm just putting out my country. My country album. So she finally has done that.
Ronnie Caram
I'm looking up her country album, But I don't think that's what I was listening to today, because it's under the
Ben Mandelker
name Puddin, as opposed to K. Michelle.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, yeah. No, I was listening to K. Michelle. What was that? Yeah, it sounded like country. Ish. Hold on, let me. Anybody want to Buy a Heart? That's what I was listening to. Oh, my God. That's from 2014. Smell of the one I was listening to was from 2014. Anybody want to Buy a Heart? I just kept listening to songs on that one because I really like the
Ben Mandelker
title of the album.
Ronnie Caram
Well, okay, so now I need to
Ben Mandelker
look up Pudding Puddin while you look that up. K. Michelle also, you know, she says that. That Beyonce basically saw what the music she was doing and sent her a little something. And we see a flashback to K. Michelle receiving, like, a bouquet from Beyonce. It's funny because when K. Michelle said, you know, when Beyonce saw what I was doing, you know, it was so nice when Beyonce saw what I was doing and liked it. And I was like, okay. Okay, Michelle. Because I'm so used to Drew Sedora saying things like that when she's like, lebron James listens to my music when he was warms up for basketball games. Which is, like, maybe true, but you never know with Drew Sedora.
Ronnie Caram
Right?
Ben Mandelker
Like, Drew is always saying these half truths, so I'm automatically just predisposed to just not believing anyone on Real Housewives when they make a celebrity bragging moment, like Lisa Barlow also. But in this case, we see a flashback that Beyonce really did send K. Michelle a whole bouquet.
Ronnie Caram
Well, you know, Beyonce's good at sending stuff. She sent me a cease and desist, so that was. That was fun. She's like, please leave me alone. She's like, please stop trying to follow me. So K. Michelle greets Portia and They're hugging and stuff. And Portia's like, girl, I went through so much last year. I've just been taking care of me. Like, I don't know if you know, but my divorce is final. So they high five and she's saying, you know, but there's stuff that's still lingering because they just want to keep going and going and going. I'm just so famous. No, it's because you won't evict, you won't leave that house that you're in. It's like, I don't know why these headlines keep going because you won't leave. She's, she's basically squatting in that house. So we see headlines, Portia Williams mansion hit with lean after Simon's divorce debt. Portia Williams faces $205,000 lean on his 7 million dollar mansion amid Simon's debt to divorce attorney.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And Portia's talking to us and she's
Portia Williams
like, like, like, do I foresee myself staying in that house? Well, I mean, I'm paying the bills, so I would hope so.
Ben Mandelker
And so not only is she staying in the house, she's going to have a party and it's going to be a couple's party. She could bring everyone together. It's going to be a date night and everyone's going to bring their spouses or their situationships, which means that clearly Porsche is going to soft launch something because why would you have like a, why would you have a significant other's party and not have someone to present to everyone? So we're already getting ready for what?
Ronnie Caram
I know, I thought this was gonna be her coming out party. Like, I'm gonna have a couples thing. I'm gonna introduce my girlfriend. Boom. It's gonna be an amazing start to the season. But no, she's like, I'm gonna have a couple's party to introduce my rent date. Okay. So she's gonna have this big party and she's talking about how difficult her divorce was because, you know, it was public, guys. It's a very public divorce to a man she was married to for five minutes. It's been really, it's been really hard. But came Michelle's like, okay, well, by the way, I'm married. She also has like a little voice where she's like, I'm married. And she goes, oh my God, I knew it. She goes, yeah, I got married a couple weeks the court a couple weeks ago at the courthouse in Nashville, Tennessee. His name is Caston and he's a dentist. So Thing. Pretty teeth. I think it's very smart to not date a famous person. Date. Date you a dentist? If you can. My God.
Ben Mandelker
I think it's, like, smart to not date a famous person and also make sure that that person has a medical degree of some kind. Because it's just really helpful, like, so much. So many free questions you can ask, you know? So, Michelle.
Ronnie Caram
And you get, like, so many, like, free little toothpastes and stuff. And like, every time you've gone through problems, they'll be like, like, do you want to go get an ice cream? You know, because that's what you do after the dentist. Your mom will take you to, like, get a little ice cream or something. That's good. Date a dentist.
Ben Mandelker
That'd be lovely. Be lovely. So anyway, so K. Michelle's like, so, are you gonna bring Dennis?
Portia Williams
And she's like, that's my family. No. Wow.
Ben Mandelker
No.
Portia Williams
Like, we don't want to know about the situationship just yet. You know, I do feel like I'm starting to. I'm ready to start dating. I do feel like I deserve to be admired and I deserve to be courted and I deserve to be treated special. And I got a little friend, and why should I sit in the house and be bored?
Ronnie Caram
Well, you know, you deserve to be courted. You're taken to court a lot. Does that count? Is that romantic? So she's saying, who's coming? It's going to be Angela. Phaedra Kelly, you know her. She owns Nana Chicken and Waffles. And she's like, oh, I love food. Love food.
Ben Mandelker
K. Michelle. I feel like K. Michelle started that sentence thinking Nana's Chicken Waffles was one restaurant and then realized halfway through that it wasn't. So she's like, oh, I love food.
Ronnie Caram
She's like, I love Roscoe food.
Ben Mandelker
I love International House of Food.
Ronnie Caram
I went to Easter brunch yesterday with my parents, and I ate a waffle, and it was amazing. I haven't had a waffle in so long. It was, like, filled. Not filled, but they put a lot of vanilla in it. Wow. That's a secret it right there. Vanilla.
Ben Mandelker
I love a waffle.
Ronnie Caram
I've always used a little vanilla, but they put a lot of vanilla. God, it was delicious. So now this Chicken and Waffles, four stars. That's pretty good one. The new one closed, though, I think.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
I think Atlanta is not having a good, good moment with their restaurants. At least the TV show is not. Candy's restaurant closed. Both of them closed. I think all of Them closed. Yeah. And then Nana's chicken and waffles. That one clo. One of those closed. Pinky. Pinky's not doing good. The slutty vegan, she's a lot of trouble with that.
Ben Mandelker
Is. Is she? Oh, I know she was. She had a spot out here on Melrose or she was doing a pop up here on Melrose, but they had to shut that one down. But I don't know if that was like a nefarious shutting down or like just the natural tenure of the pop up.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, 2026. She filed bankruptcy. The entrepreneur behind the plant based burger brand owes nearly 1.4 million in debt. Oh, I think she's in trouble.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that sounds. That sounds not sound great.
Ronnie Caram
No, I'm saying it's her first episode, so she's like, I'm rich. I'm Pinky and I'm rich as hell. It's like the week before it comes out, everyone's like, she's broke. She's broke. Hi, my name is online and I'm just here to tell you she's broke.
Ben Mandelker
So then Portia is that K. Michelle was like, oh, and your, you know, Shamia, your best friend is going to be there. And Portia goes, well, my ex best friend. And she says, Portia tells us that shim and her have a non existent friendship. It goes.
Portia Williams
Which is quite natural for this situation.
Ben Mandelker
I like that. She talks about it like a side effect when you take a medication.
Portia Williams
Typical, you know, symptoms may last for two to three weeks.
Ronnie Caram
Runny heads, loose stools, you know how it goes. So runny heads. Did I say runny noses, blue stools. So then she goes, and Drew Sedora is going to be there. You know her, right? And she's like, no. She goes, come on, it's your fellow singer. We're not going to argue with her, okay? And she already hates her K. Michelle already hates her. And Portia's like, what singer are you not beefing with? Okay, I mean, stop it. What? Everything you're doing is elevating. We're here to elevate. Elevate? Elevate. Well, she's going to need one because her husband lives in the basement.
Ben Mandelker
It.
Ronnie Caram
Her knees got to be tired.
Ben Mandelker
She's already inherently elevated over Ralph. So. Okay. Michelle's like, well, I just feel like my reputation, everything in Atlanta has just been. I don't know. I feel like people judge me and I feel like I'm angry.
Portia Williams
Yeah. But okay, let me tell you, tell them. Let me tell you this. If there was Anybody who has ever felt misunderstood over these past couple years, you know what? Oh, okay.
Ben Mandelker
Oh. Because K just starts to cry. I don't know why she's crying, but she just.
Ronnie Caram
Because she's good and she knows that Portia is going to try to make this all about herself. And so she's like, oh, no, you're not taking my pity story, ma'. Am. Okay? This is not about you being misunderstood.
Ben Mandelker
My backstory is that I made it through the VH1 machine and now I'm here at Bravo. So that's my story.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, I win.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
So she's like. And this is where she tells us. My time with women in Atlanta destroyed me from a bunch of women who dated my ex, who abused me, then them trying to blackball me out of Atlanta. And Atlanta's been a mean girl since city. And my whole career, the height of my career, has been proving all them wrong.
Ben Mandelker
So Porsche's like, don't bring the old K here. Bring the new K. Bring pudding. Okay? Because they're gonna. We're just gonna ignore everything from your past. You. Your life at Bravo starts today. Commercials.
Portia Williams
Here comes one right now.
Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ben Mandelker
So now we go to Sterling hall, also known as Shamia's McMansion. And Kelly arrives and she's like, she has a very big hello for the daughter, which is nice. And then Shamia is like, Kelly is the B capital F and capital F. She's my B best friend forever and I will never let her go. She's been the biggest blessing in my life right now. I mean from keeping each other's kids taking trips. We're almost sister wise but Gerald's like, no, we're not doing that.
Ronnie Caram
And then Kelly comes in with her storyline. She's like, I'm a college mom now. Oh can you believe it? I just miss her so much. Why are you guys performing? Like there's a thousand seat
Ben Mandelker
we got at the Red Rock theater.
Ronnie Caram
You're in a kitchen,
Ben Mandelker
you wanna go have some champagne downstairs in the game room, Kelly?
Ronnie Caram
So they talk about college and then Shamia's got a gift bag for her and it has some pregnancy test in there or something and they pop some champagne and they talk about kids going to college, etc. And then Kelly's like, speaking of responsibilities, how was your trip to Gren because you have to go take care of some business. Ryan, Grenada.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, God, yes, that's right. Because, Kelly, I have a rum company now. Yes.
Ronnie Caram
Shamia pulling out the housewife new business every season, which I love. You know, that's.
Ben Mandelker
I think you're. You're missing the really low key response from Kelly, which was, I'm like, you guys, These two doing the Rumter Rabbit.
Ronnie Caram
I'm doing the Rumter Rabbit.
Ben Mandelker
They call me the Rum Shaker.
Ronnie Caram
Rum, rum, rum, rum, rum, rum. So she's like, oh, my God, can we go to Grenada now every single year? And she goes, every year we have to, because those are my. So she says she just went to Grenada for a good time, but she got even more than that, guys, because Gerald believes in her passion for music so much that he's invested over six figures. And it's time for Kelly to give back by spending more of his money to buy a rum company. Somehow makes sense in her mind. I'm not really sure.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, I realize that my singing career is going nowhere, so I guess I should do something to contribute to this household or try to make that money back because I feel really guilty. Really guilty.
Ronnie Caram
So she's like, I don't know if I'm that busy that that business savvy. And she's like, oh, you are. You stop it. You're the business queen. You're a boss match. I mean, I'm smart, but as far as business, oh, no, what do I do? And so now they're talking about Portia's event and Shamiya's like, wow, that'll be interesting.
Ben Mandelker
Like, I can't wait to see the ladies. Just, oh, it's gonna be an interesting night. You know, I was happy to get the invitation, but I mean, it was on a group text. Maybe she just forgot to take my name off of it. And Kelly's like, have you talked to her? She's like, I mean, there were some back and forth tax, you know, after we all met up at reunion.
Ronnie Caram
So she tells us that, you know, she shimmy ash, so she has a slow response time. She basically needs to have a scene happen, go read what people think about it online and then respond. So she has a response, which is kind of what she says here. She's like, you know, I mean, there was stuff on the reunion that I didn't say because I didn't even hear what Portia was saying. But then after I processed it and I watched the reunion, I said, oh, my God, she said that. So, yeah, I had some things to say to Portia in a text after the reunion. You. Shamia, you can't. That was. It's not like the reunion was 10 minutes and you just forgot some stuff. That was like a full day of, like, 16 hours recorded. We sat through three episodes of that. You can't go through all of that and then expect us to still have to listen to this because now you've had time to process. Oh, my God.
Ben Mandelker
Seriously? And this is where she does her whole bit of like. So I sent Portia a text, and we had a text exchange. And I'll just pantomime what it was. What it was like.
Ronnie Caram
Like,
Ben Mandelker
I was like, oh, my God, please, please, please make this. I can. UDA Hagen called and she says, please stop acting too much. Too much. It's. It's. I can't.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So then she asks if Gerald is going to be coming. And we see Shamia showing Gerald the invite in a flashback. And she's like, do you want to go? And he's like, So Kelly is. Now they're talking about, like, well, why is Portia having a couple's day? Who's she bringing? And she's like, it's Simon's house. And Kelly's like, it's Simon's house, and she's bringing somebody to Simon's house.
Ben Mandelker
Kelly, stop. You're being so hilarious. America's gonna love you too much. Stop it.
Ronnie Caram
She's like, what? What if you want to get some Cuddy at the end of the night in Simon's. Huh? That man is gone. Been. He has been deported and he's gone. She earned that house. She had to pretend to like Simon for over a year. She's earned it.
Ben Mandelker
She has. Then Kelly does this whole thing where she's like, oh, my God, Porsche.
Portia Williams
Every time that man has her over
Ben Mandelker
a counter and she, like, leans over the counter, she's like. She's just doing. She's. It's just. It's so over the top. I'm like, you are not enduring yourself to us right now, Kelly. Like, stop, Please, please.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, so now we go to Portia's mystic island dinner.
Ben Mandelker
Not to be confused with a Mystic river dinner, which would have a totally different vibe.
Ronnie Caram
That would be so depressing. Where is she? Where is she? Where's the girl? Where's the girl?
Ben Mandelker
It'll just be Marcia Gay Harden running through the dinner party. Be like, has anyone seen Robbie? Where's Robbie? Where's Robbie?
Ronnie Caram
What have you done?
Ben Mandelker
Laura Linney will just be standing by the Doorway. Watching the dinner being like, you do what you have to do.
Ronnie Caram
So porch is like, well, the theme of this dinner is majestic. Wait, what is it? What kind of island is it? I forgot line. They're like, mystic Island. She goes, majestic island. And so they show us an invitation that says mystic Island. And she's like, it's very intriguing. It's very titillating conversation. Titillating.
Ben Mandelker
By the way, there's nothing about this party that suggests it's a mystic island. It's just white curtains draped in a room. There's like. There's no palm fronds. At least none that I remember. We don't see tropical drinks. It's just like a room with drapes. So it's when. When she. When Portia says it's gonna be an intriguing dinner with very titillating conversation, I was like, oh, my God. Not table games. The plague that is gonna single handedly take down Bravo.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Two in the night.
Ben Mandelker
God.
Ronnie Caram
Because we get him on Rhode island too. It's like, geez. But yeah. And she does the titillating. She's like, it's a tittle later. She does a Nene impersonation with that. I wonder if Nene's like sitting at home writing out bills or writing out like IOUs to Portia, because she's still.
Ben Mandelker
She starts.
Ronnie Caram
She's starting to steal a bit. So then Angela and Charles come. People start arriving, and Angela's like, I don't think I would have a couples event at my ex husband's home as quickly as she did. But what if he jumps out of the closet? I don't know why everyone is so confused.
Ben Mandelker
They're really trying to build a comedy bit out of this. Like, oh, my God, the ghost of Simon.
Ronnie Caram
This is Real Housewives. We're used to seeing people have parties in homes they got from the guys that they left. I don't see what the big deal
Ben Mandelker
is, but I'd be upset if it weren't in the home of an ex, you know, Know. So Cynthia is FaceTiming L. Prince, which is her man. And cuz basically the people are arriving. And so Cynthia's like, well, I don't have my man with me, but here he is on FaceTime. And then drew arrives and she has her own virtual date. This is the famous black who is referenced at the reunion. So Black is there on FaceTime. He's just sitting there. But the difference between Cynthia and Drew is that Cynthia's like, hey, everyone, this is the Prince. He says, hi. Okay? And then she hangs up her phone, and Drew keeps black on the phone on FaceTime the entire dinner. And he's just sitting there, like, smiling, just so happy that he's virtually part of a Real Housewives.
Ronnie Caram
So weird. It's so weird. At least, like, put him in a phone case around your neck so we can see what's going on. Just.
Ben Mandelker
I know the whole thing's super weird. It's so weird. It's. It's truly bizarre. Are. So Drew says, I didn't ever imagine it would be two years, and I still have, you know, a man underneath the stairs, but. And then the producer says, while you're dating. Oh, my God. I knew you were gonna ask me that. I've been on dates, okay? And I have a friend.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. And Angela's like, drew, just tell us the truth. We know. We know what. We know what the truth is. Like, who are you? Who do you think you're lying to, too? Here. So then Drew sees Porsche and, you know, hugs her. And Portia's like, wow, so another date on the phone. Okay, maybe I should have just made this an Uber date. Okay, Rent a date. I'm doing it. Why does that. Why is nobody else able to rent a human to bring to this party?
Ben Mandelker
The escorting industry is there for your service. Okay? So then they're like, oh, my God, who's come? Like, oh, wow. Like, black. Okay. You guys are more than just friends, for sure. Andrew says he goes everywhere with me.
Ronnie Caram
Me.
Ben Mandelker
It's like my little best friend in my phone. And the producer goes, but what about After Dark? She goes, we do a lot of things on the phone. I was like, okay, I'm bored. So I'm like, phaedra comes.
Ronnie Caram
Phaedra comes. And she's like, well, I think I'm in a good place with the group besides Angela, because she was all gung ho that I had something to do with George Jefferson, who's friends with June Bug, who I gave all the money to, and the Godfather of Atlanta and spearheaded Toes Gate. I mean, I just.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, yeah. I mean, everyone knows I've got several jobs, but running around meeting people at the Lenox Mall is definitely not one of them. So, okay, Michelle shows up, and she's brought cast in with her, and she says that she's known Caston since the ninth grade, and they dated on and off again. And she says, when I went on to Queen's Court, we were on a breakup, and that was me telling him that there are other men that are interested in me, which I felt. Felt like when K. Michelle said that, I was like, I don't know this situation. But that feels like a retroactive adjustment to the narrative. I feel like she went on Queen's Court and people were like, she's secretly dating Castan. And now she's saying, no, no, no, I wasn't dating him. We were on a break, and I was just giving him a message like, that I'm just, like, reading lines. Because how many times do we see people go on dating shows and it turns out they were. They had a girlfriend all along or a boyfriend all along.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. They're just, like, putting it on hold to do the date. We just saw it on Love Hotel here on Bravo with Ashley pretending she bro with her boyfriend. We're seeing it right now on Summer House where Ben's pretending that he didn't have a girlfriend so he could come on the show. He's like, well, we broke up, but maybe now we're going to get back together.
Ben Mandelker
We would have seen it on the Bachelorette, I think, because it sounds like Taylor Frankie Paul, formerly of the Mormon Church. As of today, it looks like she got back with Dakota anyway. So, like, this is a standard thing. So I kind of got the feeling like she was patching up a narrative inconsistency with her other reality show in that moment. Humans. Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
So K. Michelle's laughing that the house is echoey. She's like, this is like a dressed up city hall because it's very echoey.
Ben Mandelker
Dressed up city hall, huge house. So.
Ronnie Caram
So Portia's so nervous to introduce everybody. Oh, my God, guys. But here he comes, Mike. He's a big, handsome man. And so K. Michelle's like, where'd you meet Portia? And he's like, we met through God
Ben Mandelker
slash central casting, because God created that too. He creates everything on this earth. And Andrea goes, did you just say God? Meanwhile, over Shamia's house, Pinky arrives. And by the way, and Shmiel also has a mullet, which is, you know, just pointing that out. So Shmiel's like, I love Pinky. I interviewed Pinky a few times during. During morning radio, and I've always admired her grunt kind, her hustle, and just the businesswoman that she is. And by the way, Ronnie, do we think Pinky's tagline will have will say something like, I'm not I. My name's Pinky and I do have a brain or, oh, God, I may be Pinky, but I'm also the brain. It's not evil brain. Pinky and the Brain. She just says, pinky in the brain. Pinky in the brain.
Ronnie Caram
Pinky on the brain. Pinky Cole at times 100. Forbes 1000, twice black Enterprise cover Entrepreneur magazine cover, Inc. Magazine cover, Essence magazine cover. I just became that girl in Atlanta. I started Slutty Vegan. I built a hundred million dollar brand. And Atlanta made me a legacy and my fortune. And then I met my baby daddy in Atlanta. And I'm a mother, a wife, a lover, and not a fighter. I can go on and on. Do you need me, too? Pinky is that girl.
Ben Mandelker
So I was like, okay. So then Samia brings out.
Ronnie Caram
So I just. I wish I could learn to have the confidence of a real housewife. Because mine, whenever they're like, ronnie, we need a bio. I'm like, ronnie used to smoke, but he quit. Now he vapes. I'm super embarrassed about it. He didn't have a problem once I was in the commercial as a kid. Does that count? Are we allowed to count that?
Ben Mandelker
My name is Ben Mandelker. I have bad posture. I'm concerned about a freckle on my knee, and I'm afraid I've had too much coffee today. I'm that guy.
Ronnie Caram
I mean, it was a local commercial. It was a local commercial. It was an international. Put that in. Okay, strike that, strike that. Just keep going.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Okay, so Shamia brings out a Shot o' Clock poster. Oh, she runs a company now, guys. A rum company. I don't know if you've heard. Heard. It's going to be huge.
Ben Mandelker
Shot o'. Clock. You know what? Put her in there running for Bravo Liberty of the Year, because Shot o'. Clock. That is just hilarious.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, I'm sorry. Pinky. Pinky, would you mind moving off of that times 100 list because we've got a new entry.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, thanks.
Ronnie Caram
Shot a clock.
Ben Mandelker
Shot o'.
Ronnie Caram
Clock.
Ben Mandelker
Shot o'. Clock. She made a clock off of a poster off of a tagline that she really liked that she gave her herself. So that also existed in pop culture before Shamia. But that's fine. That's fine. That's fine.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So then we go back to the dinner party, and everyone's sitting down at the table and Portia's welcoming everybody. And guys, today we're gonna play a game.
Portia Williams
Game.
Ronnie Caram
Games that are adult and fun. And Kelly comes in, and Shamia hasn't shown up yet, but Kelly's brought her friend Trey. And Kelly K. Michelle sees this guy and she goes, oh, God, not him. And she's sitting by Charles and Charles Is like, not him. Who is that? She goes, oh, that man goes through everybody. He's through every Trey. Isn't everybody, man. Like, Trey is like, Steve Urkel, go home, Trey. Go home.
Ben Mandelker
I like this sort of slutty Steve Urkel. I was like, when I think of Steve Urkel, I don't think of someone who's gone through everyone. Maybe Steve Urkel has Stephen Urkel, Stefan Urkel, but not Steve Urkel.
Ronnie Caram
Just would tell Steve Urkel, go home, home.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, but I'm assuming that this guy's just, like, a dweeb is what she's saying. So meanwhile, Porsche is. Portia's like, oh, my God.
Portia Williams
Shamita is a singer, too. Everyone.
Ben Mandelker
And Charles is like. Because Charles keeps on saying, oh, we got SWV over here. Because there's three. There's three women sisters with voices. Etc. And K. Michelle's like, that's not happening.
Ronnie Caram
Stop. Stop.
Ben Mandelker
This damn SWV went up when. I've got to make a living off this, okay? You keep talking about sweet tv. That's like me putting you on a damn team with that never dribbled. He's like, I'll just make them better, though. I don't care. I'll play with Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder. She goes, well, I ain't got no money for them making them a dribble. She tells us, look, Charles is an. I don't know nothing about Charles, but I relate to. They have already out the gate, like, the best. Like, they're. They are. Three seconds of them sitting together and, like, giving each other was so much more compelling than all of the hard work than Kelly and Shamia tried to do during a whole ass big scene.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, I'm just over here shocked that you don't remember go home, Steve.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, is that what they would say at the. With the Urkel. He was always.
Ronnie Caram
They were always like, go home, Steve. The dad was like, go home, Steve.
Ben Mandelker
I just. I actually honestly forget that part of the Steve Urkel lore. That's so crazy, because, like, I watched. Yeah. I mean, I watched that show religiously, but for some reason, family matters.
Ronnie Caram
Doesn't it, though? And as you get older, you realize the double meaning of that family does, in fact, matter. So Drew calls Portia down to the table, and she's like, so where's Shamia? Where's Shimia? And she's like, I don't know. But, you know, it's raining and there's traffic. So she goes, it's not raining anymore. Maybe it's raining on that side of Town, though. That's right. I'm now Real estate shaming Drew Sidora. Thank you, Drew.
Ben Mandelker
It's the Sun Always Shines on Drew Sidora and where she lives in the town. So now, Shamia, by the way, Shamia's still at her house, and she's calling Gerard or Gerald to see if he's on his way. And basically, he got rerouted to Charlotte, AKA he's hiding in the garage. So he's hit it in and out.
Ronnie Caram
He's like, yeah, not going to do it.
Ben Mandelker
That.
Ronnie Caram
And so she's like, oh, God, I can't be mad at that, can I? Guess I'm gonna have to go to the party. So now, back at Portia's, Angela's like, so is this a serious relationship brewing in front of our eyes, Portia, with you and Ted? Mike. Mike. Well, you want to tell them where we are, Mike? And he's like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, guys, it's a little scene. I haven't even been paid for tonight yet.
Portia Williams
She's like, okay, well, we can start with where we met. So it was after the Panda Express.
Ronnie Caram
The pandemic.
Portia Williams
We had Panda Express during the pandemic, and we met there.
Ben Mandelker
There. Yes. That's where we met. That is 100. Where they're, like, doing. They're, like, improving their way through the scene.
Portia Williams
And when the first time I saw
Ben Mandelker
you, you said, hello, how are you, my pineapple lady.
Portia Williams
And scene.
Ronnie Caram
So she says they met after the pandemic, but didn't she just tell us they went to junior high school together or something?
Ben Mandelker
No, no, no. That was Kate, Michelle, and. And Caston.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, oh, oh, oh. That was the dentist. Okay, so, yeah, so she's. They talked in the pandemic, but they just kept it cool. They didn't do anything. And Kelly's like, you're a bold bitch. I mean, didn't you meet Simon during COVID Okay, well, technically, she met Simon prior to Covid, but that's a whole nother conversation. So I'm Kelly,
Ben Mandelker
the math is not mathing. I don't know if she may have forgotten, but she was in a relationship with somebody at the time.
Ronnie Caram
Portia.
Ben Mandelker
This is so poor.
Ronnie Caram
So too. Yeah. And she's like, okay, guys, well, I'm not gonna lie. Lie? Yeah, that means you're gonna lie. You're already lying, Portia. Just keep it up. Well, I threw out a thirst trap, and I knew it was gonna catch. I knew it was and it did. So now Shamia, Pinky, and Derek arrive. Pinky Immediately spills her drink on the floor.
Ben Mandelker
She, like, grabs it off the waiter's, like, tray and just, like, sloshes it around like Lucille Bluth. Yeah, it's like, I'm a little nervous about pulling up. I mean, what the hell am to. I going. Gonna. What the hell am I gonna do this lady's house for the next. After the last text. I mean, this is crazy. I mean, thank God it's shot o'.
Ronnie Caram
Clock. So they come in and Charles is like, you're eight hours late, Charles. And he just laughs. Michelle just start laughing. So Portia goes to greet her, and they hug and shimmy is like, well, I was kind of like, do I keep my hands in for the hug? Because what if she tries something and I can get out of here quick? I mean, that was a really slow hug. Let me reenact it for you. I'm doing great with the. With the pantomimes tonight.
Ben Mandelker
America, you got to admit, how funny was that hug? This will probably be a meme, right? Like, that hug was pretty iconic. I'm like, shamia, no one cares about how you hugged Portia. No one was paying attention in the room, on tv or in the audience. Please, I beg you.
Ronnie Caram
And Portia's playing this really smart. Maybe different terms. I mean, we're talking about Portia, but she's playing this pretty well because she's being very nice about Shamia. She's just like, every time they ask her about Shamia, she's like, you know, we made up. We had a really positive conversation. Now we're coming back to the conversation. They asked Shamia. She's like, oh, really? We had a text full of fuck yous and, you know, this and that. And then Portia hugs her, and they ask Shamia how they're doing, and she's like, oh, Portia. Oh, really? What if she tries something, something on me and I can't even get to it and I have to get out of here? Well, Portia, what did you think? I'm so glad she's here.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, Portia's smart. I mean, she sort of did this last season, too, because I do believe that Portia is probably a hard person to be friends with because she's so famous. And I feel like she probably brings everything to herself. That was the whole issue last year, was that Shamia felt like Portia sort of took and took and took, and Shamia felt like she couldn't have, like, her moment. And I could definitely see that happening with someone like Portia. She's Such a big personality. But Portia's very. She is very savvy, and she is just gonna. She's going to at least pretend or present like she's taking the high road. And that's kind of all that matters because I kind of feel like. Like I was. I kind of. I felt for Shamia last season, but this season I feel like I'm done with it. And I was like, well, Portia can. Can play nice. Why can't you, Shamia? You know, which may not have any logic to it because it's like. Like, you know, just because it's a new season doesn't mean that we hit reset on all our. How we feel about everything. But I kind of feel like I do do that. Like, it's a new season. I'm going to create new opinions on everyone based off of this new season. So that's my long way of saying I agree with you, Ronnie.
Ronnie Caram
Well, yeah, this was always kind of Shamia coming for Portia for not being, you know, enough or being there enough for her. And na, na, na, na. Portia was like, what? I'm sorry, What? Why are you mad? So it looks like it's going to be that again. So she's got a new body. I guess she got herself, like, a body makeover or something. And so Phaedra sees her and she's like, well, so Mia definitely got herself done up. I mean, it's giving 360. I mean, listen, if you can afford it, buy it, and if you can't, I guess inject it.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And so everyone's saying Pinky's going around saying hi to everyone, and when she sees Kelly, she's like, oh, hi, Kelly. Oh, you left me on Red. On. On. On Instagram. But that's okay. Okay.
Ronnie Caram
Hi, everyone.
Ben Mandelker
Hi. I was like, oh, wow. So Kelly, she's like, you know what? Pinky is not a girl's girl. We've spoken on some panels together, and I've reached out to Pinky a few times, and she left me on Red. She showed up, you know, with that little netted thing on. I don't know if Pinky thought we were burying Simon or coming to protest for Simon, like, where are you going? Like.
Ronnie Caram
Or, kelly, you left me on red. Oh, God, that's so embarrassing.
Ben Mandelker
They're both. They're both accusing each other of the. That they're both accusing each other of leaving them each other on Red. So this is so.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, I thought it was just Kelly who said that you left me on Red. I didn't even see.
Ben Mandelker
I think Pinky said it to Kelly, too. I think they're both accusing each other. So it just goes to show that we not only have singer on singer acrimony on this season, we also have eatery on eatery acrimony happening between the vegan restaurant and the waffle restaurant.
Ronnie Caram
So. And it's like the more famous restaurant tour versus the not famous restaurant tour.
Ben Mandelker
You know, that's where Gerald is. He's hiding away from this cast. He's like, where. Where can I go where no one will ever see me? Ah, Kelly's restaurant mamas.
Ronnie Caram
So Pinky. Pinky says hi to Michelle, and she loves. They love each other. And Pinky says, I love some K. You know, one of my investors is her line sister. So we connected and we became fast friends. And that's my girl. She's my spirit sister and my sorority sister. So, you know, yeah, we're. We're together, guys. Delta. The Delta. So Pinky tells that's.
Ben Mandelker
That's our relationship that by the end of the season will be torn asunder. Clearly, this is. You can always.
Ronnie Caram
Whenever they're like, that's my sister. Nothing will ever break us apart.
Ben Mandelker
Got to the reunion I wrote for you comes in.
Ronnie Caram
She's like, we'll see about that.
Ben Mandelker
So Phaedra is also saying that she's known Pinky for well over a decade, and she's done lots of deals and she's a smart cookie. Etc. And Drew is like, guys, guys, guys. Who wants to meet black? Everyone here's black. She's, like, holding up the phone again. And Shamia's like, oh, I thought you were on a zoom call for work. I didn't realize that was your date.
Ronnie Caram
And Kay's like, I don't understand why this Drew lady has this man on his FaceTime. Like, the man on FaceTime got a ring to light. Like, what's going on? And then Shamia comes in with a Mohawk. A mohawk and a new body. And then I see a lady with a white wig and a violin standing behind Portia. We cut to it, and there is, in fact, a lady in a white wig with a violin behind Porsche. She's like, I'm allergic to violins. This is some Tyler Perry.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And by the way, it still is not really the. The violinist is, to me, does not say, oh, we're on a mystic island right now.
Ronnie Caram
So Mystic Islands, random ladies with violins in front of white curtains.
Ben Mandelker
So Portia has cards in her hand because she's gonna play a game called who did that. So the violinist is, like, right behind him, like.
Portia Williams
So Portia goes, okay to the lovely Oakleys who made the first move in the bedroom.
Ben Mandelker
And Angel's like, girl, he was ready the first night. And everyone laughs. And Charles like, well, if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready ready. But you know what I. What I didn't ask for is I didn't ask for the first night, though, Anyway, so.
Ronnie Caram
Huh. Charles, you did want me to come upstairs after we left that restaurant that night. And he's like, no, I didn't, because you got in somebody else's car. And I got in my car. Okay. Oh, my God. She can't win, Angela.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, my gosh. She really can't think. He's like, whoa, this is like an episode of Maury Povich. So then Portia's like, okay, K. Who
Portia Williams
is more likely to start an argument just to have makeup sex?
Ben Mandelker
She goes, me. She's like, I did it earlier today, or something like that.
Ronnie Caram
So, Pinky, have you had any public moments? And Derek says, yeah, they were about to buy a property in Birmingham, so they were on the second floor, and the realtor was on the first floor, and they did it. Yeah. Yeah. So now Pinky's like, yeah, you know, I vowed not to date anybody that ate meat because I'm a vegan, but I'm on the board of PETA, and here we are five years later, and the only meat I eat is his.
Ben Mandelker
So Porsche says, okay, Shamir, this one's for you.
Portia Williams
Name one physical thing that you would take from your last partner to upgrade your new partner.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, well, I've got nothing to upgrade on, Gerald Wongi Mwangi. There is nothing. So Portia's like, oh, so nothing's answered, babe.
Portia Williams
Okay, great.
Ben Mandelker
So Drew's like.
Ronnie Caram
So then they're like, drew goes, wait a minute. Where is he? Why is he not here?
Ben Mandelker
Same reason why your guy's on the phone. She was like, oh, was he traveling? Because he is, actually. Okay, good guess. Oh, I. I didn't know. I just asked the question.
Ronnie Caram
Well, yeah, you guessed great. And that was a great guess, Drew. She was. So that's your answer. Okay, he's traveling, everybody. He's traveling.
Ben Mandelker
Drew then turns to shimmy, goes, are you okay? Well, you asked, and I answered, are you okay? She's well. Well, just. It was added with some extra energy. She goes, just focus on your zoom call.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Shamia gets really shady with Drew. Drew's like, geez, I was just asking in A shady way, but still. God. So she goes, yeah, he is actually traveling back to Atlanta. And Drew's like, well, my date's here, so you should worry about your husband. She goes, girl, your husband's not here. Your man's in your basement, okay? Your man is in your home.
Ben Mandelker
Home. Cynthia's like, I don't know why Drew is on Shamia's ass about Gerald not being here. And Gerald usually is not here, so I didn't really expect him to be here. So clearly Shamia didn't expect her man to be here, so I don't know why Drew did. Like, Cynthia does her little giggle afterwards.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, so now we're ordering some shots.
Ben Mandelker
Cuz it's a.
Ronnie Caram
It's a clock, guys. So they're still going. Drew's like, do you want to get on the zoom too? She goes, I can call it him. Okay, well then do it. But I'm here. But you seem a little bothered. I'm just making sure you're okay. Okay, Geez. So Mike speaks up to get control back, and Portia's like dinging her glass. So Phaedra says, well, the most entertaining guest has to be black, sitting on his FaceTime call for over three hours with this big bright smile. And they cut to him and he's
Ben Mandelker
like, still here, still here.
Ronnie Caram
Still on the phone.
Ben Mandelker
I'm not sure if he does. He doesn't use the bathroom. If he has a colostomy bag. I don't know what's going on. He might be embalmed for all I know. So of course she's like, okay, okay,
Portia Williams
Cynthia, answer this one. Who have you had a sex dream about at this table?
Ben Mandelker
And Cynthia's like, girl, the question may be, who's had a sex dream about me at the table maybe? And everyone's like, yeah, Cynthia, Cynthia. Now what else is going on? Click.
Ronnie Caram
Like, why does she have a remote control Troll? Pinky asks Portia when the last time she was intimate with her guy. And they stare at each other. And porch is like nine months. And they're like nine months. And goes, yeah, because, you know, since we've been back, we haven't really done anything. And he says, yeah, she nailed and baited. She nailed and bailed.
Portia Williams
She's like, what? That wasn't part of the imprint. That was not a good yes and no. She's like, well, well, I'm not mad if we figure something else out.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And so Lauren's like, but you know what? There's an altar right behind you that's so convenient for this hilarious scene.
Portia Williams
So she's like, oh, my God, let's see how we look in a totally unplanned moment.
Ben Mandelker
So they get up and they, like, stand as if they're, like, gonna get married and everything. And, like, everyone's like, oh, my God, this is hilarious. And by the. Portia's side boob is like, the. The side boob. We're basically looking at side boob getting married right? Right now. And they're stand. And then Mike pretends like he's going to drop down on that knee to propose. And everyone's like, laughing, like, hilarious.
Ronnie Caram
So then there's some kind of projection behind them, right? That was so weird. It.
Ben Mandelker
The light. The light. They. Well, they make it. They. They show a projection, like the post production does. They. They. They. I think the lights flicker or something like that. And everyone's like, oh, my God, the spirit of Simon. It's here. It's here, it's here. Micron.
Ronnie Caram
I'm so dumb. I was like, what was that? Why are they projecting stuff? Stuff on. I'm so dumb. So they're like, oh, my God. Run, Mike, run. He's here to kill you. And Phaedra's like, portia, please write a book. Tell us the ways of your vagina, because it's strong and it's a trapper. So now everybody cheers. Is. And then Kate, Michelle's like, portia, new love, safe sex and paychecks. And they cheers. And so the guys go to the cigar lounge. They go, go.
Ben Mandelker
Like.
Ronnie Caram
It's like, okay, guys, time. The ladies are gonna be messy. So the ladies all go sit on these couches in a square just to get some mess in with each other. Like, okay, let's all go fight. It's fighting time.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, time to fight. So they asked me how she's doing, and she says she's in a good place. Andrew's like, well, I'm happy to see you here. And Porsche, I'm sure, is happy to see you.
Portia Williams
She's like, yes, I am very happy.
Ben Mandelker
Ninja's like, and I know you guys haven't spoken recently, and come. Kelly goes, can I tell you, I love that for you all. Is this a new leaf for you guys? For you ladies, do you think? Oh, my God, I'm Kelly.
Ronnie Caram
And Portia says she doesn't know if it's a new leaf because she got closure last time they spoke. And she felt like it was good and it was healthy, which I don't know if that's the text that shimmy is referring to. But it's funny how Portia puts it and how Shamia puts it to me is like, yeah, that last text was flipping each other off. And so she goes, it was. It was. Was cleansing. And Portia says, and I don't have any ill will towards Jamia. She goes, and I appreciate that. You know, thank you for saying that. And I was met with good energy, so I want to reciprocate that. And that's right, you know, that's. That's that. That's that. So Angela's like, okay, well, you're boring. So speaking of not so great energy, where you and Drew at Andrew's like, I have no issue. No problem. I'm here. Shamia's there. It's fine.
Ben Mandelker
And Portia goes, well, don't forget, she did apologize online on her YouTube. YouTube. Which Portia is bringing up, acting like that was a good apology, but she knows it was a shitty apology, and she knows everyone's gonna pounce on Shamia for it. But Portia just sort of enters it into evidence with a smile on her face. And we see this on YouTube. Shamia tells everyone very dramatically, to all the ladies of Sweet sixteen cast, if I ever offended you, if I insulted you, hurt you in any way, I'm sorry for whatever it is that you were so sensitive about. About. I apologize.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So funny. And it's so ridiculous. That whole thing was ridiculous. I watched that until I just got tired. I was like, this is still going. Why is this still going? So Drew does a great impersonation of the video. She's like, I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone who may have been offended because I'm from Decatur, and I'm here to say I'm sorry. And I don't know why I'm sorry, but I'm gonna say I'm sorry. Like, what? What are we even doing? That was weird. It was weird.
Ben Mandelker
So then Drew's like, yeah. She also said in the same breath that you went light on me.
Portia Williams
And she goes, oh, I didn't see that one.
Ben Mandelker
And now we see a flashback to a video. And Shamia's like, well, she asked me how she was a liar, and where are my receipts? And, like, how am I a liar? At the reunion, I could have went a lot heavier. And if she kept on doing what she was doing, I'm gonna have to go heavier, but I don't want to. So Cynthia's like, shamia, would you like to take Drew aside and give her an apology. And she was like, no, I would not lie to you, Cynthia. I would not.
Ronnie Caram
Okay, well, you would not. Then we're done. Then we're done here. She goes, but she got it on the YouTube. So Shamia's like, okay, well, what I think is fake is how, you know, she puts off that kind of stuff out there. But then she has this conversation with you, Phaedra, about how she doesn't even believe her friend Angela, and that Angel's like, I'm sorry. And she goes, yeah, well. And Phaedra says, long story short, she called me, and I said, the last time me and you talked was at the reunion. And Drew's like, yeah, well, the receipts weren't receding, which is. I told my friend that as well. I told Angela that.
Ben Mandelker
And Portia goes, well, receipts weren't receding
Portia Williams
means that you're questioning the receipts that your friend brought.
Ben Mandelker
And Phaedra says that after the reunion, Drew came to her dressing room and said, hey, I want to get to know you. You. And I said, well, I don't really want to get to know people who've tried to frame me, you know, for the June Bug thing and stuff like that. And that's when she said she didn't really agree with all the evidence. Basically, Phaedra saying that Drew came up to her after the reunion and tried to separate herself from Angela and be like, oh, I wasn't really part of that. I didn't really want to be part of the whole June Bug thing. So. But Pedro's like, but why did you go along with it, then if you didn't want to be part of it?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. She says, the girls do strange things for the change, honey. So Shami is like, so you don't think it's strange that you're best friends? Friend thinks that your receipts aren't receding, Angela. And Angela's. Charles is just watching this from the kitchen, like, oh, geez. And Angela goes, I don't care. What I'm talking about is my husband. And Angela knows who. Drew's like, angela knows who I am. Everything that's being said, I've already said to Angela. So there's no secrets here. So Portia's dinging. You're like, okay, you guys are gonna respect this thing like you do fire alarms, okay?
Ben Mandelker
And Angel's like, but that shit lined up. It didn't make sense to me that your person came to me at Hawks the game, whether they told you what they did or not. So there was this. For those who don't remember. There was the story at the reunion where Angela says that this girl who is associated with Phaedra came up and was like, I'm the one with the hands. Like, watch out. Like, someone threatened her. And Phaedra's like, I had those tapes ran, and that person did not come near you. And I'm willing to show you the tapes.
Ronnie Caram
Phaedra's so full of. And Kelly's like, wait. So she pulled a security tape, and she said she can do that. And he. What? The person says, oh, wow. She is a bad mama jama baby. And Angela's like, well, I want to see the tapes then, so could you get those tapes? So the producer asked Phaedra, do you have the tapes of the Hawks game? And she's like, well, I. Well, I didn't look at the tape, but I asked for the tapes to
Ben Mandelker
be reviewed, so, yes. Okay. Okay.
Ronnie Caram
You just said you could show her the tapes. Phaedra. Okay. Phaedra's gonna.
Ben Mandelker
Phaedra, yes. So they're talking over each other, and K. Michelle's like, I'm not doing this. She's having VH1 flashbacks, I suppose. And she's like, it's too much for me. And everyone's like, I want. Drew's like, I want to see the tapes. I want to see the tapes. And K. Michelle's like, okay, I don't want to be here. So she basically is like, when I got invited to this party, I thought I was going to be here for, you know, for a bougie American and African house. Like, that's what the ladies would have. You know, I thought the ladies would have all their gowns on and real diamonds. They would be drinking champagne and, like, trying, you know, some other, you know, like. But, like, whatever. I'm going to go to the men. I don't even smoke cigars. But at this point, with all the catness, I just would rather choke on a cigar.
Ronnie Caram
So she goes out to the men, and the women are still going in there. And Kelly's like, can I just say one thing? And Portia goes, no. They're like, oh, geez. So Kelly gets all offended, and Porsche goes, I just don't know if I like your questions, Kelly. And it's like, don't do that. Don't do that.
Ben Mandelker
So Angela gets up, and she goes to the guys now. And K. Michelle goes over to the guys. She's like. She's like, yeah, they're all fancy as they're over there, mad about every goddamn thing. So Angel's like, come on. Okay, we need you back inside. And she's like, no, I want peace. I just want to be loved. I'm gonna be here with the men. So Kelly's like, portia, what happened with
Portia Williams
you and Shamia on this text message?
Ben Mandelker
And she's like, whatever me and Jamina
Portia Williams
will talk about will be between me and Jamia. It's not between you. And that's it.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. And she's like, stop antagonizing me. And she's like, but I'm not. Porsche, listen, I promise I'm not antagonizing you. She goes, yeah, you're being a little extra here. So Porsche's like, listen, what happens between me and Shamia is nobody else's business. Okay? That's it. So I'm speaking you. So now I'll speak about you and me and what you said in the press about me. Like, I don't think I should address that now after my drink. And I don't want to sweep other stuff under the rug, but I. I can let it go for tonight. So she says that because it's her party, she's going to not yell at Drew or not yell at Kelly today.
Ben Mandelker
She'll get her later. Yes. This is the new thing. And Pinky's like, whoa, you guys are crazy. So then Drew goes outside. People just slowly start trickling outside to where the guys are one by one. Which is funny.
Ronnie Caram
And because it is kind of like, okay, everybody, welcome back to the first day at work. Let's all fight. We're gonna fight now. And it's just like, no one really wants to.
Ben Mandelker
So then Mike, he, like, Once everyone's out there, Mike's like, guys, guys, guys, I wanna. I wanna raise a toast. Okay, guys, it's. As the man of the house, I just want to say thank you all for coming to my new home with my wife, who you saw, we just got married. Thank you for coming. It's a pleasure and an honor to be an actor here for all of you guys, thank you.
Ronnie Caram
And Porsche is like, hold on, hold on, hold on. I want to hear my man. This is man speak now. Go on. Boo. Give your speech. He's like, thank you for inviting us to your beautiful home, Portia. And through all the love and the imperfections, tonight, black is beautiful. Oh, my God. He said, thank you. He said, thank you. Can you hear him? Can you hear him? Does anybody have on any AirPods?
Ben Mandelker
And everyone's like, who is this guy who's acting like this is his house? Like, this is kind of a weird moment that he's doing. And they're like, we're. We don't really understand this. And then they have like this funny thing where they like, show like, they're like, oh, my God. Where's Simon? Simon, Where's. Flip the lights. Scare him away. Simon goes to Simon. Watch out.
Ronnie Caram
Flip the lights up.
Ben Mandelker
You're here.
Ronnie Caram
And so Porsche's like, wow, I had a very successful first couple's party with my fake boyfriend.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
In my ex husband's unpaid for house. Thank you, everyone.
Ben Mandelker
Like, kiss, Kiss Portia. My kiss. Because you guys are a very real couple. Kiss. And they're like, like, he's ready to kiss. And she's like, like, is not wanting to do this part of the the show right here. So they do a little kiss and it's like, yay, Portia and Mike forever.
Ronnie Caram
And that's it. That's the end of our first episode. So we'll see a lot of bakery going on, just a lot of fakery going on. You got Porsche's fake boyfriend. You got Drew's possibly fake boyfriend. You've got the lady pretending she's doing really great when her restaurants are struggling in her house. They tried to take her house recently. You've got Angela pretending everything's still okay with Charles when Charles seems like he wants to cut and run. I mean, that's a lot of. There's a lot of balls to juggle, that's for sure.
Ben Mandelker
Yep, it's pretty standard Atlanta fair. So thanks everyone for being here the great time and we'll catch you on our next episode and join us for crappy hour tonight. See you there. Bye.
Ronnie Caram
Bye.
Ben Mandelker
Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.
Ronnie Caram
Our way is the Amber way.
Ben Mandelker
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's a Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly.
Ronnie Caram
Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchels. We never miss her. Call, it's Diane.
Portia Williams
Call.
Ronnie Caram
Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
Ben Mandelker
Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no tricholas. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no last namey.
Ronnie Caram
Jamie, she has no last namey. Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
Ben Mandelker
She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.
Ronnie Caram
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Lets give a Kisserino to Lisa Leno. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry.
Ben Mandelker
Aren't you glad? It's Marianne Ahrens.
Ronnie Caram
Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
Ben Mandelker
This is Living with Michelle. Vivian.
Ronnie Caram
I love Aya. Olivia Williamson.
Ben Mandelker
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Ronnie Caram
Yes, we can. It's Savannah.
Ben Mandelker
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Ronnie Caram
Darn Skippy. It's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can I have a Kavanaugh?
Ben Mandelker
It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD
Ronnie Caram
we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Ben Mandelker
Let's get real with Caitlin o'.
Ronnie Caram
Neal. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Ben Mandelker
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. Let's get Savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.
Ronnie Caram
The incredible edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Charouse. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.
Ben Mandelker
Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
Ronnie Caram
We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.
Ben Mandelker
Tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing Strike a pose.
Ronnie Caram
It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet coutar. We love you guys. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Charouse.
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Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: April 6, 2026
Ben and Ronnie kick off a new season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA) with their signature blend of irreverent, affectionate mockery and Bravo-obsessed insight. This episode covers the S17 premiere, featuring the arrival of K. Michelle, shifting alliances, returning faces, and a few instantly memorable moments from the opening “Mystic Island” couples dinner party. Expect critical takes on new cast energy, enthusiastic roasting of green screen disasters, and a fresh round of Housewife business ventures.
| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Podcast Opening; K. Michelle vs. Drew discussion | 04:04–06:53 | | New vs. old cast member energy | 06:53–13:53 | | K. Michelle’s entry, music rivalry, industry chat | 15:08–34:27 | | Portia & K. Michelle on country music/race | 30:03–30:35 | | Pinky’s “riches” shade; Atlanta’s business woes | 36:46–37:13 | | Portia’s Mystic Island party: first arrivals & schemes | 49:44–74:20 | | Shamia/Kelly, slow hug, YouTube apology | 64:17–77:48 | | Angela and Charles’s grill metaphor and B-plot | 24:04–26:36 | | Portia’s rent-a-date is revealed; party wraps up | 84:28–end |
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