#3301 Below Deck Down Under S04E10: Mixed Massages

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens – Episode #3301

"Below Deck Down Under S04E10: Mixed Massages"

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: April 7, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively recap, Ben and Ronnie break down Episode 10 (“Mixed Massages”) of Below Deck Down Under Season 4. The conversation centers around crew conflicts, shifting alliances, romance drama, new charter guests, and the infamous “rainbow penis” prank prop that fuels much of the episode’s tension. The hosts also revel in highlights of the Fish Report, and, as always, offer sharp, hilarious commentaries on the cast's behaviors and Bravo tropes.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Honey Pot: Ben & Ellie Resolve Their Feud

• Conflict Recap: Ben and Ellie’s ongoing tiff over British pet names (e.g., “honey snuffles,” “titty scones”) comes to a head.
• Heart-to-heart: Ellie explains her discomfort:

  "Every time you use one of those words, I feel like a lack of respect, and I feel like my value was being diminished." (03:15, Ellie)

• Ben’s Excuses:

  "Look, there's a British colloquialism, alright? I use it in high pressure environments… it's a diffuser, you know, rather than a fuse." (03:33, Ben)

• Resolution: They joke about a “honey pot” swear jar.

  "Have you heard of a swear jar, darling? ... I was thinking, like, I don't know, a honey pot or something like that." (04:29, Ben)

Notable moment: Ben praises himself for no longer calling Ellie names, while Ellie admits she may still lose her cool "four or five more times this episode" (05:19, Ellie).

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2. Crew Dynamics, Romance & The Rainbow Penis

• The Rainbow Penis Saga: A prop left by a guest sparks a playful but increasingly tense “custody” battle between Jenna and Alicia, reflecting deeper divides and attention-seeking.
• Laundry Drama: Daisy’s frustration with the crew's incompetence and messy laundry situation:

  "God, like, for fuck's sake. This fucks me off so much.” (08:12, Daisy)

• Joao & Daisy’s “Chemistry”: Joao confides in confessionals that he likes Daisy, but is “holding his cards close.”
• Ben’s Oddities: Ben continues his habit of sleeping in the guest quarters, prompting confusion and laughter.

Romance Tangle: Ellie, Joao, Daisy, and Alicia

• Ellie offers Joao a massage as her way of flirting, claiming past massage gigs for Russian billionaires (13:24, Ellie).
• Alicia’s Attention-Hopping: Flirts with both Joao and Eddie, prompting host commentary:

  "There are things worth fighting over... Some used, slimy, disrespectful dick is not the thing to fight over. And I think Daisy's smart enough to know that." (16:50, Ronnie)

• Daisy’s Strategy: She’s more than aware of Joao's type, opting to focus on work:

  “If I get horny enough... maybe I’ll hit up Joao. But for right now, I’m just going to shammy surfaces and just try to sleep.” (16:35, Ben)

• Massage Aftermath: Despite innuendo, Ellie and Joao just share a massage and plan for more interaction.

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3. Evening Out: Club Shenanigans & Female Rivalry

• Alicia’s Flirting Escalates: Alicia drinks and gets handsy, even twerking on Eddie and dancing suggestively.
• Attention Dynamics: The hosts note Alicia’s overt strategy of pulling male focus:

  “She walked right up to Jenna and Eddie while they were dancing and pulled him away... She’s so transparent in what she’s doing, and she’s doing it on purpose.” (31:00, Ronnie)

• Jenna’s Frustrations: Jenna wants more romantic attention from Eddie but finds herself sidelined and ultimately emotional:

  "I just don't want to be in a competition... I want my... I don't even have to feel emotional over such. I've bad. Idiot." (37:00, Jenna)

• Confrontations: Ellie calls Alicia out for hyping her up about Joao and then undermining her by flirting with him (43:51).

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4. Power Struggles and Rank Debates

• Sous Chef Drama: Ellie tries to claim higher rank than Jenna, much to bemusement:

  “Sous chef is the same rank as second stew. In fact, it's even higher. Maybe even higher than first stew, maybe even higher than chef.” (69:07, Ellie, sarcastically)

• Jenna Claps Back: “In what universe would the dishwasher rank above the second stew? You should have been at the end of the line, darling. I hope you packed a snack for your troubles.” (69:58, Jenna)
• Host Analysis: Ben and Ronnie underscore Ellie’s need for control, and Daisy’s unflappable command as “the final boss.”

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5. Upcoming Charter: New Guests, New Drama

• New Primary: Tyler, a wealthy, over-the-top New Yorker, charters the yacht for a group of glamorous friends (47:08).
• Guest Eccentricities: Tyler’s drag glam is to remain a surprise, amid much discussion of spray tans and high heels.
• Foreshadowing: Hosts speculate on future drama with this group and note the looming midseason trailer.

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6. Fish Report: Extended Metaphors & Hilarity

• Fish Metaphors: The hosts compare fish behavior to crew romance shenanigans, particularly the “kissing fish” and “showgirl fish.”

  "This fish is the Cheetah Rivera of fish." (58:03, Ronnie)

• Parallel to Episode Drama: Ben reveals he excitedly showed his partner the “kissing fish” as a highlight, paralleling Jenna & Eddie’s romantic woes (65:06).

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Most Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Ellie on Respect:

  "Every time you use one of those words, I feel like a lack of respect, and I feel like my value was being diminished." (03:15, Ellie)

• Alicia’s Transparency:

  "She has to win every guy on the boat and have everybody be attracted to her... and it's sad." (31:01, Ronnie)

• Jenna’s Self-Esteem Spiral:

  "Now here she is, just hoping to get a shred of attention from a lowly deckhand..." (37:52, Ben)

• Jenna’s Rank Retort:

  “In what universe would the dishwasher rank above the second stew? ... Hope you packed a snack for your troubles.” (69:58, Jenna)

• Fish Report Metaphor:

  "Don't throw oil when you live in a massage table house." (34:35, Ronnie)

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Episode Timeline

| Time | Segment/Highlight | |-----------|-------------------| | 03:15 | Ellie confronts Ben over disrespectful pet names | | 04:29 | “Honey pot” resolution to Ben/Ellie feud | | 07:19 | Rainbow penis prop introduces new drama | | 08:12 | Daisy’s laundry rant | | 13:24 | Ellie’s massage offer to Joao | | 16:35 | Daisy and Ronnie discuss not fighting over “used, slimy, disrespectful dick” | | 23:55 | Ben and Jason's “men in robes” cheese board moment | | 25:39 | Alicia escalates flirting at dinner | | 31:13 | Jenna’s heartbreak and Alicia’s interference | | 43:51 | Ellie confronts Alicia about loyalty and “not being a girl's girl” | | 47:08 | Introduction of new charter guests | | 55:08 | Extended Fish Report and fish-as-crew metaphors | | 69:58 | Jenna and Ellie debate the true ranking of “sous chef” | | 73:02 | Set-up for upcoming charter and prophesied new drama |

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Conclusion & Tone

Full of witty, occasionally exasperated commentary, Ben and Ronnie dissect both the show’s surface drama and its deeper patterns, using extended metaphors (the Fish Report) and their signature Bravo-fan snark. They highlight how petty power struggles and cyclical romance games mirror both reality TV conventions and their own observations on human (and fish) nature.

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Recommended for:
Anyone who relishes Bravo recaps, enjoys sharp-witted pop-culture analysis, and loves hearing two friends riff on reality TV personalities with both affection and scathing critique. This episode is a must-listen for Below Deck and Watch What Crappens fans!

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Note:
Ads, intros, and credit rolls are omitted from this summary to focus on core content.
All quotes and moments are true to the podcasters’ original language and tone.

Transcript

[A]

Who cares what happens when there's so much of crapping? Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the beautiful and glorious Rondell Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

[B]

Hey, what are you doing?

[A]

Just hanging out with you. About to talk some below deck down under. Before we do that, I hope you all read the newsletter that good old Ronnie wrote this weekend on our Patreon. He puts effort into that, guys. He writes all these paragraphs, uses lots of words. That's effortless.

[B]

It's a blog.

[A]

You guys should read it.

[B]

Going back to the old school TV gasm days, making some bloggish.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. So go check that out. That'[e-mail] Watch what crappens. We also have a weekly bonus episode. The rumor is that probably during this recording the new trailer for in the City is going to drop. And so we are planning to have that be our bonus episode this week. A trailer trash of that trailer. We don't know if it's really gonna happen but if it does happen, that's what you can look forward to. That'[e-mail] Watch what happens as well as Craps on Demand where you can watch us on video as well as ad free listening. So with all that being said, first of all also thank you to everyone who came to Crappy Hour last night. We had a really great one, really great combo at the end with people who who joined us. So thank you for tuning in for that. That was wonderful. Anyway, today we are back in the world of Katnuan, which as we all know is an island dedicated to canoes that win things. Is the local canoes. So yeah, this episode is Season 4, Episode 10, Making Enemies. Where we left off. Ellie and Ben are at an impasse where he's been calling a honey Snuffles all, all season long and she's had it and she's been fighting back and it looks like as far as we can tell, they will never ever, ever be able to put aside their differences. So it looks like this is the end for them, right?

[B]

It's over. Yeah, someone's going to be fired. They go up to Captain Jason and Captain Jason is like, listen here, I'm putting my foot down by leaving this room and making you talk about it amongst yourselves. I don't like to do this. Goodbye. So he leaves and we're just waiting to see who shoots each other.

[A]

So, yeah, it's an unstoppable. Unstoppable ball versus an unmovable wall. What could possibly happen? I was like, well, this is the end. Someone's going to go.

[C]

I have never had male supervisor call me those names. And I know you don't mean it that way, but every time you use one of those words, I feel like a lack of respect, and I feel like my value was being diminished. Like you're saying my vegetables are no good for milk and this man is putting me down and I need to stand my ground.

[D]

Oh, no, no. Shit, no. Look, there's a British colloquialism, all right? I use it in high pressure environments,

[B]

like in the galley. I always thought of it as a

[D]

diffuser, you know, rather than a fuse.

[A]

All right?

[B]

It's not normal harassment.

[D]

It's sexual hugs.

[B]

It's.

[D]

It's hugs. It's verbal hugs.

[A]

Normally when I call someone titty scones, they like it. But occurs to me, scones really are British things. So I understand that you're not really getting it early.

[C]

She's like, okay, that's right. That's okay.

[A]

It's like, I mean, the last thing that I would do, I. You know, I just. You know, I thought you were great help, but you are still a great help. You just. You just wanted to be shown respect. And I. I get that, Sy LS that is all.

[D]

And I got there, you know, I just want you to stay. I want you to be good nougat knees, you know, that's all.

[C]

Well, yes, I want to stay. I want to finish it together. I think we have a good thing going.

[B]

Well.

[A]

Well, I want to be approachable and honestly. And if you notice, I. I know I haven't stepped up once today. I haven't not once called you butter loaves. I haven't once called you, called you mushy lumps. You know, I. And I'm really conscious of it, so, you know, you have to. You know, you have. Have heard of a swear jar, darling? I was thinking, like, I don't know, a honey pot or something like that.

[D]

Oh, honey pot. Yes. Sounds good. Yes, I've been honey pot before. That's. This was one of my jobs. I caught many, many spies. So he's like, all right, deal.

[B]

So Ellie's like, you know, I'm kind of embarrassed now. I allowed myself to lose my cool,

[D]

but, you know, I'm in it to win it. And if managed to bend personality. Oh, wow. There's nothing I cannot do. Watch out Putin.

[B]

So I hate.

[C]

I'm so embarrassed for losing my cool. Thank God. I will absolutely not lose my cool

[A]

four or five more times this episode with a man.

[D]

I think this is the beautiful beginning of beautiful relationship.

[B]

So he's like, well, you did scare the out of me.

[D]

She's.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie.

[D]

She's like, yes, well, I scared the out of me as well. How about that? I can even scare me. This is how sensitive I am. Okay, I'm going back to this voice now. Hello, Chef. Hello. It's me. Nice, Ellie. I'm going to use this voice for the rest of episode. Would you like massage?

[C]

I will make you cake.

[A]

So Jason's like, so, how's it going today? You guys all work it out. You guys find my secret session of M M's. Please, God, Lord, tell me you didn't.

[C]

She's like, oh, it's good. We work through it, and I know we can continue this season without any attention.

[A]

It's like, okay, good. You know, it's a shitload of work, and I can't do without all you guys, and I definitely can't do it without food, specifically M M's. So I'm going to have to ask you guys to leave the cabin so that way I can get down to snacking.

[B]

So now everybody's cleaning. That's done. That's done and over so it's clean. And Y and Ben even make a toast. They drink, and Jason reads the comment cards and they get two stars for cleanliness and comfort, which, you know, blame the panty liner.

[A]

Panty liner. And also blame Mike and his crazy Olympic torch haircut. So Alicia, honestly, she's like, we see her and she's. She's soaking some things. Washing machines are on and everything. And Jenna holds up this. It's like a rainbow penis that the guest gave her, the R. This guy Mark was like, jenna, please have this rainbow penis.

[E]

She's like, look at this. I got a gift. They gave me a rainbow penis. And Alicia's like, why do you get all the best gifts? And I get all the ones. She goes, cuz they actually like me.

[A]

So they, like, are joking. They're fighting over the penis. It's funny. Yada, yada, yada. You. We think nothing of it, but this becomes one of the most enraging props over the course of the episode, because the principle of what happens is it really. It really gets me. Ronnie, I don't know if you were affected the same way I was, but by the end of the episode, I was like, if she takes that penis thing one more time, I swear to God, I'm gonna. I'm gonna call up hr.

[B]

Well, they're fighting over a penis, and that's what the episode is, fighting over dick. So it's crazy that it all kind of thematically works out that way.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

So Daisy's like, girls, can you start sorting through the splash?

[D]

Like, okay, well, I'm gonna kiss the penis.

[B]

Like, oh, my God. I'm gonna go down for laundry. So now Joanne, Daisy are in the crew mess, laundry room area, and Daisy sees that nothing was done right down there.

[D]

She's like, God, like, for fuck's sake.

[B]

This fucks me off so much. Like, I don't fucking come to that. You don't have a uniform and you're fucking hoarding it. Oh, my God. It's not okay. And so I was like,

[A]

Yeah. By the way, I love that we don't even know the context of this. Like, we never saw anything about someone complaining that they don't have a uniform. It's just like. It's just some other piece of that's happening in Daisy's life that they didn't even bother to like. You know what? The audience will get it. They understand what's happening. She's just complaining and. And Joao sitting there eating lamb chops

[F]

or something, and he's, like, so funny watching you deal with laundry. A L L that's him.

[A]

And so Daisy's like, what are you giggling at? You're not gonna tell me?

[E]

He's like, I'm sorry.

[F]

No, I do like Daisy. There's no doubt about it. She's beautiful. You know, she's very sweet. She's kind. She's protective. I love her accent. She's very Irish. I think that there is a ton of chemistry that we are trying to figure out without making it obvious to each other. It's holding your cards close so you can. Don't get disappointed.

[A]

But I can't help but be.

[B]

But.

[A]

But feel drawn towards her.

[F]

So I'm in Zim love.

[B]

Oh, God. Yeah, we'll see. We know how Joao is with women, so let's see how this goes. So Jason calls the crew for the tip meeting, and he sees Ben wearing a robe. Ben just doesn't give a man.

[A]

I think Ben took a shower in the guest quarters.

[B]

I think that's his room. I don't think he's ever slept in his room, has he? On the. Once the guests leave?

[A]

No, I don't think so. He just Sleeps in the guest quarters.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

All right, well, I just want you to know, Granddad Ben. All right. The galley situation. We had a good talk about that. By we, I mean they as I. A little talking balls of joy. All right. That green one truly does make you horny. All right, But I had a good talk.

[A]

All right.

[B]

But I won't tolerate this again from anyone. We need to work together.

[A]

We to need.

[B]

We need to support each other. I'm selling kimonos. How many people have ponied up $400 to buy one? Nobody. I don't feel supported. I'm leaving.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

That's all. You're dismissed.

[A]

Well, I look through the reviews and see that there's some housekeeping issues. So the helmet, I'm going to give it to someone in housekeeping, but obviously, the leader hasn't stopped. I've seen Daisy going all around, so I'm going to give it to the second in charge of housekeeping, and it's going to be Jenna. So Jenna gets it, which feels a little bit unfair. And Jason's like, I should have gotten

[B]

it again because she didn't wear it last week. So she should. She should do it until she does it, right.

[A]

Really? Mike should have. Well, Mike already had it. I. I think he likes to spread it around, but Mike should have gotten it too. Although Alicia could have gotten it for the fact that she left a towel in the drawer last week, and we all still remember. It was horrifying. So Jason's like, I want the crew to step up or take some leadership, Take some work off the heads of department. So then Jenna's like, I mean, how

[E]

can you take me seriously with this bloody hat on, though?

[A]

I'm like, we stopped taking you seriously the moment you said that you were gonna go back to Eddie. So let's be honest here.

[B]

We're here to grow. We're here to expand, and we can do it. Daisy's like, there is zero reason for us to be making this mistakes. You know, this is pretty simple. All right, well, the tip for this chart is 22 grand, so it's. This is pretty hefty. Well done, Gu. All right, thank you, interior team. Let's have a quick meeting about what's going on. So now the interior team has to have their own meeting. And she's like, all right, listen, there were huge gaps, the housekeeping stuff. I mean, there was a lot going on, and when I'm not around, Jenna is in charge, and she's like, well,

[D]

I do want to be in Charge and response about as her. And I want to be a healthy person before you go to Daisy about things, because I don't need such a high level of involvement. What's that? So then, one thing you don't understand about myself.

[A]

What? Mark is like, gina, you're wearing the doomskip this week.

[E]

I don't really fancy taking orders from you at the moment.

[A]

I'm like, it's not. It's. It's not your choice. Daisy literally just said, if I'm not around, you have to listen to Jenna.

[E]

You don't get to.

[A]

You don't have that option. She's wearing the dunce cap because of your inadequate ass, you idiot. And the fact that you already got it, and Captain Jason wants to give it to new people every week. Otherwise, it would be squarely on your big, hairy head.

[B]

There's also nothing that reads dunce cap more than that helmet that you've aqua netted on top of your scalp with, like, ball hair that you had implanted from Turkey.

[A]

So, please, your comb forward. So back in the crew mess, Ellie and Joao are talking, and she's like,

[C]

hello, how are you?

[F]

He's like, I'm Zim. Good.

[C]

Okay, then I have another question

[A]

number two. I love question number one is, how are you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she has, like, her hands behind her back, like she's about to offer him a snack. And he's like, yes, ma'.

[B]

Am.

[C]

Would you like a massage?

[F]

He's like, yeah. Yes.

[C]

You know, my way of winning over a man is with my massage. The richest person in Russia. I'm not allowed to say the names, but they have NDAs. I was his personal massage therapist, so I take a lot of pride in my massage skills. Also, I was so good, he gave me free milk, so that was a lot for me.

[B]

I'll bet. I'll bet you take great pride in those massage skills.

[A]

No.

[B]

So we go to Alicia hiding the rainbow penis in her bed. The rainbow penis war has begun. It's time for a commercial.

[A]

Commercial.

[B]

It's time for a crappin's commercial. So now Ellie walks into Joao's room. And check.

[D]

Okay, set up. I will set the massage table. Or you set it up. Your man. Big, strong man. Woman needs men to set up a massage table.

[G]

And he's like, okay, I'm liking this attention from Ellie. I wish it was from Daisy. I don't want to say that in public, but I don't want to ask her directly because, you know, I don't want to beat around the bush, but She's a no kind of person. And I think that if I were to ask her, the world would go even further up and she'll shut off from me. But in the meantime, who's going to say no to a freezing massage?

[A]

Okay, so he's putting it on Daisy, and he's. He's going to tell everyone he likes Daisy, but he's not going to tell Daisy herself. And then Daisy's going to be like, what the.

[F]

He's going to be like, well, it's because of you, because you've had walls up.

[A]

I don't know. It sounds like a big manipulation already in the works. Yeah. So then we cut to Jenna and Daisy in their cabin, and Jenna's like. She's like, what was that?

[B]

Jenna?

[C]

Joel, how are you?

[A]

I don't know what you're saying. Okay, I'll just say yes and go, okay.

[B]

She's saying, yeah, I think Joelle liked you. And so then we see a flashback to last night when Joel and Jenna were talking, and he's like, well, you

[G]

know me and Daisy.

[D]

Have you ever thought about it?

[G]

He's like, well, I do like her.

[D]

She's like, that's all. That's all.

[B]

So now Daisy's like, well, I'm not being here for drama. Ellie and Joao were, you know, we're. They're having fun. You know, they're kind of full on.

[C]

You're such a good girl.

[A]

Like, well, I'm really here just to work.

[C]

Like, well, he has no capacity around the bus. She's definitely giving him something. Whatever.

[A]

I don't know what. You're sad, but, you know, fair game to her. Talk about, you know, getting what you want. It's like, ah, what you want? So the producer's like, how are you feeling about Ellie giving Joao this private massage? She's like, well, yeah, I'm not gonna, like, sit here and be like, oh, well, you know, like, I haven't had a chance to really speak to Joao all week, you know, all season, obviously. I mean, Ellie is a little bit of a shark, and I guess I'm just not really like that. I'm a bit of a slow burner.

[B]

Meaning when you fuck with me, I'll

[A]

slowly burn all of your things.

[B]

And they ask if she's jealous, and she's like, do I seem jealous? No, I don't feel jealous. And she doesn't seem jealous because I don't think her thing with Joaz really real. Anyway. I think they're both like, well, we're on tv, People Are supposed to hook up. You want to hook up? I don't know. You want to hook up? I mean, maybe. Let's talk about it later. I'm getting that kind of vibe from Daisy and Joao.

[A]

Daisy seen these shows, and she knows what Joao is all about. She's like, whatever. It's like, if I get horny enough that I, like, need to have some action, maybe I'll. I'll hit up jaw. But for right now, I'm just going to shammy surfaces and just try to sleep.

[B]

Listen, there are things worth fighting over. Like property taxes. Fight those. You know, when they raise them every year, you fight those. Or when you get a track traffic ticket, you should go and hope the cop doesn't show up. Like, there's things that are worth fighting for. Some used, you know, dick. You know, some. Some used, slimy, disrespectful dick is not the thing to fight over. And I think Daisy's smart enough to know that.

[A]

Yeah. So Daisy's like, I mean, they could be having flo and sex because, like,

[E]

what do you mean?

[C]

Of course.

[A]

Shut up. Do I think they are 100? Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

100.

[E]

They will be.

[A]

So then.

[B]

And who else down? I mean, who doubts it? We've all seen the Internet. We've seen porn.

[A]

Like, I mean, massage.

[B]

Like, clearly a porn setup.

[A]

Yeah, this is like a pretty, like, oh, wow. Like just an out of. Out of the blue massage.

[B]

Yeah. Victim. Sorry. The only fans vixen telling you to get naked on a table is generally a setup in porn.

[A]

Do you think that they had a previous conversation where he was like, oh,

[F]

I could really use a massage. Oh, my back is so sore.

[A]

And she says that. Like, she said, oh, I'm a licensed massage therapist.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

He's like, oh, you know, I could, you know, like, oh, you may have

[B]

to show me your craft.

[A]

Like, I wonder if there was ever a scene like that that happened that we're not getting. Because it is just so random that, like, Ellie just walks into the crew mess is like, I would like to

[C]

give you massage now.

[F]

And he's like, okay.

[B]

I would be surprised if the scene we hadn't seen was her saying, I give good massage.

[D]

You want massage? Well, tell me when you want massage.

[B]

One day.

[D]

You're going to get massage one day.

[B]

Kind of like last week when she's

[D]

like, what's your favorite cheesecake? Lemon meringue. Oh, I keep that in back pocket. Oh. Then I sat down, I had lemon meringue on my ass.

[B]

So I. I think that's just one of her tricks.

[A]

Yeah. So now she's massaging Joao and she's

[C]

like, oh, do you do a lot of squats?

[F]

He's like, no, I do lots of zim squats.

[A]

So Ellie's like, what is also, you do dead leaves?

[F]

He's like, no, this. But this. This feels amazing. Zimbabwe amazing.

[A]

So Daisy is like, if Joao did like me at all, this whole situation has turned me off so much, which is funny because that's what I feel like. The women on Blow Deck always say, including Jenna this season. And then they still. They still are like, yeah, I'm going to go after the guy, mainly because there's no options. So I feel really bad left.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But the. Like, I. I hate that. Like, I hate for the women of Below deck that they have. That they make these public stances, which I fully believe that they believe, but that because of the situation, they just. There's so few options for them to get satisfaction that they just have to. They just have to go back to these men who are awful to them.

[B]

I just don't like how they all. It seems to be like standing around at a party when orders are being passed and you don't want to seem like a food addict, so you're just waiting for them to come close to you and just hoping that something good comes along and then just taking whatever comes. It's like, I don't eat tuna tartar, but it's here. I'll take it, I guess. I mean, I don't know. And the guys will. The guys, meanwhile, are chasing around the waiters and eating everything off of the tray, you know, because it's, like, free.

[A]

And, like, I get it. Like, you know, like, how many times do I proclaim, you know what? I'm. I've got to start eating healthier. I got to get some lower cholesterol things. And the next thing you know, I'm, like, in my freezer eating ice cream. So, like, certain point, you just. You just crumble to temptation despite knowing what's good for you.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So then Ellie's like, when it's your

[G]

birthday, and he says, in five days.

[D]

Oh, so this is your birthday massage. You're going to get another one later on, Mr. Mr. Deadlift.

[B]

It's like, I. I do not work out ever. At all.

[D]

Oh, he can't lie to me. So Jenna's like, well, I don't think he likes. I just think she's available to him and made that very clear from the star.

[B]

Which, yeah, is true. And. And Guys, you know, guys have this reputation, but especially guys on this season. My God, it's like, whatever's there, take it. So Ellie finishes her massage, cleans up Joao with a towel, flushes, and it's

[G]

like, oh, thank you.

[B]

But no, she didn't. She didn't.

[A]

She didn't make a move.

[B]

Yeah, she didn't bang him.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

She's like, I'm hoping we have a chance after party to. You don't get to know each other a bit better.

[F]

He's like, yes, well, I'm sure that Wisim will.

[A]

So now we cut to Daisy and Ellie in their cabin later. And Daisy's like, how did your massage go?

[C]

And she's like, it was really, really well. We had nice time.

[A]

Because, by the way, Daisy also knows that if she were to now go after Joao after Ellie has been there, she's like, I'll get stopped in the face. So now we see a little bit later, Joao and Daisy, they're by the bar on the boat, and Joao's like, all good. She's like, yes. How are you?

[F]

I'm feeling relaxed.

[A]

Okay, that's great to hear.

[D]

I'm sure you are feeling relaxed.

[G]

Was the massage good? It was very good. You. You look lovely. You look lovely as well.

[B]

She's like, thank you. Thank you. You got. Damn. Fuck. So now people are going out. So they're going to the vans and stuff. And Alicia is asking Jenna, like, where's your helmet? Excuse me, miss? I didn't wear a helmet. Keep your helmet judgment to yourself.

[D]

You're not allowed to ask.

[A]

Exactly. At least I'm so. I've said it before. I'll say it again. Alicia really sucks this season. So now we people are in their vans and everything, and Ben's decided he's not gonna go out because. Well, because the situation with. With. With Ellie, I want to give her a little bit of space. So he's gonna stay back with Jason and hang out.

[B]

Yeah. So then in one of the cars, Jenna, Ellie, Betul, and Alicia are in that car. And Jenna's like, how's the massage? And Ellie says, awesome. Like, did it go further?

[D]

Oh, you didn't even kiss him. She's like, no, we're easing into it. Easing into it. I'm trying to get the deadlifts in his mind so maybe he starts working out a little bit. Well, you kiss him tonight. She's like, maybe I'm open to it.

[B]

And Alicia's like, I'm so for it.

[D]

Kiss you out. Kiss you out. Kiss him Kiss him.

[B]

Which is what I always say to people before I try to make out with the person they like.

[A]

Yeah, well, you know, it's the second coming of Gizzy. So then we have Jason and Ben, and they're making a cheese board together. They're also, like, wearing, like, Jason's, like, in a kimono, and he's like, oh, get changed. And Ben's like, no, don't get changed. I'm going to match you. So he's, like, in his robe or whatever. They're basically having, like, a Hugh Hefner moment on the boat.

[B]

Like, this is also kind of the beginning of a porn scene, because Jason's robe is not a normal robe. I mean, he's in a Jason kimono, which is like. He's hanging all out of that thing. It's like just me, man, being men, making big stakes and all manly robes. I'm like, please put your nuts away. I'm trying to concentrate on the stakes, sir.

[A]

I bet Jason thought he was. He was getting something special that night because he's like, well, ship is staying in. I'm gonna get my own gourmet meal. But then Ben made Jason make mistakes.

[B]

So we go to the crew having dinner, and Alicia is smoking and stuff, and she's like, should I move, though if I'm smoking it, it bothers you. And they're like, no, it's all right.

[G]

Draw's like, yeah, off. Just joking.

[B]

You're so funny, Joanne.

[G]

He goes, oh, I love sarcasm. Thank you.

[B]

So they clink glasses.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

She starts rubbing her beer bottle against his beer bottle. She's like, oh, yeah,

[F]

yeah.

[B]

It's some flirting on with Joao.

[A]

It's being. It's flirty. It's flirty. It's one of those things where. Where she could reasonably say, I wasn't being flirty.

[E]

He's a friend of mine. We're just being jokey.

[A]

But I think it landed on all of our radars as that feels flirty. And especially since she already. She already kind of went down this path with Eddie. Like, I don't. I think she used up all of her not flirting capital. So people are going to suspect the worst out of her because she already went down this path, whether she is being purely platonic or not.

[B]

Yeah. So she's, like, doing the rubby thing with the beer bottle, and then she

[D]

says, tits, clits, and everything in between. Come on, guys, we have to do it together.

[B]

So they all clink together. So now Eddie is sitting next to Jenna, and by the way, Alicia gets Drunk every time really quickly. And this is when the flirting starts. It's like after a couple of drinks, you see her eyes change. They get a little red, and then she's like a little flirt monster.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So Eddie is just asking Jenna what her parents were like.

[E]

I don't know. My parents are really traditional. They were like preschool children, pastors. So we always got up in Sunday school.

[A]

And they started talking about how they went to church. Like, well, I went to church.

[C]

I went to church.

[A]

I went to church a lot.

[D]

I went to church a lot.

[A]

And that's like, they. They, like, connect over that.

[E]

And she's like, us Christians I don't know about, brought up with similar models of values, loyalty and honesty of forgiveness,

[A]

as opposed to all of us non Christians who were told, never be loyal, never be honest, and never forgive.

[B]

I remember one time I said, I was like, church is stupid. I don't want to go. And my memo was like, you better go. That's where we learn morals. And I was like, well, what do you mean? Other people have morals. Oh, really? Then without the Bible, how are you going to know not to murder people? I was like, well, I would hope we would be able to come to that ourselves, but I don't know.

[A]

Auntie Ronnie, can you teach me about loyalty? I don't know what that means. I'm sorry.

[B]

Only if Moses taught it. All right, now, have a seat, young man. So Eddie, she's like, eddie's back and a lot.

[D]

And honesty, Ben. I'm working on forgiveness.

[B]

So then we cut to Jason and Ben cooking together.

[D]

And Ben's like, I'm so glad to be spending the evening with Jason. You know, this charter has been riddled with animosity for me, and I'm really up against it. This is what I need right now. He's like a very tall master Yoda. I need more friends like this at the end of the day, you know? Finally, a man who doesn't mind me

[B]

calling him Licorice Loes Captain.

[A]

Jason's like, jeez, I hope this the last time that Ben stays over on the deck. God, what a. What a drag. Smells like cigarettes and bees all night long. Couldn't even get to my M and M's. So the crew's still at. At dinner, and Joa is talking to Daisy now.

[F]

He's like, I love you being the bad cup because I look so great, especially to Mike. Mike is so. You know.

[A]

She's like, I know. Say, am I the bad cop? And Alicia's like, yeah, Jenna's the bad cop? Like, no, I'm trying to make her softer. I'm like, don't go in too hard on the juniors. And then Elisa's like, I don't like

[E]

being called a junior cuz I earned my metaphor stripes.

[A]

She was like, yeah, one stripe. Delicia, your metaphor, by the way. Your metaphorical stripes. Guess what? They are not on your shoulder. Okay? We need the physical stripes before you say you earned anything.

[B]

Yeah, you're one stripe. So Alicia's all offended, and she's like,

[D]

I'm doing a lot to take abuse from someone else being younger and in charge, you know?

[B]

Daisy's like, I know it's not easy, but she deserves that. You've done nothing with your life.

[A]

I. I love Daisy. Just be like, you're one drop. Like, don't even try to pull this metaphorical strike. You've literally. Elysium's literally not even earned half of a metaphorical stripe. I'm sorry. She is up left and right. Is she better than Mike? Yes. But that doesn't mean that she therefore has earned a second stripe by any means. It's crazy that you would even think that.

[B]

Yeah, she's like, strap. She's one strap. Yeah, Daisy. Daisy's really good. This episode of Just Calling Everybody Out, I love it.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Because later she does it with Ellie, too, and it was glorious. So they leave dinner, they go to the next spot and order drinks and start dancing and stuff. And Eddie's dancing with Jen, and he's like, your boobs look good. I learned that in youth group. And then Alicia pulls him away, and

[D]

she's like, oh, I need to talk to you.

[B]

So she pulls him from Jenna. She's like, you better. She's like, you better shake your ass, and starts twerking all over him. Oh, God, the white girl.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

I know. It's rough. And they're both dancing. They're like just two floppy pieces of seaweed in the current.

[B]

And it's like sexy dancing, you know? It's like she's twerking up against his dick and stuff. And Jenna's like, oh, my God.

[C]

That.

[A]

Yeah, it's. If. If. Like, even if she's thinking, well, he's my friend, we're just having goofy dancing. Especially with Eddie, where you have, like, a text message history. It's a little like, H. And especially, like, if you've just had this whole conversation with your boyfriend and been like, I maybe cross the line. I'm not going to do it again. I Just don't think I would even really try to dance in a suggestive way. And I'm not coming from a prudish place. I just think that, like. Like, you can't, like, call your boyfriend and be like, oh, sorry. And then, like, you go back and you do it again. And then on top of the fact that you were just encouraging Jenna to kiss Eddie, if you really want Jenna to kiss Eddie, you're not. You're just not going to do anything that could be misconstrued as, like, a distraction. You're going to want your girlfriend to have as much time with the guy that you want her to kiss with.

[B]

Right?

[A]

You're not going to, like, you're not going to cut in at all.

[B]

You're putting too much thought into this. Alicia knows exactly what she's doing. She walked right up to Jenna and Eddie while they were dancing and pulled him away and was like, calm down. Started twerking on his dick. I mean, she's being ridiculous. She's so.

[A]

It's.

[B]

She's so transparent in what she's doing, and she's doing it on pray. It's like she has to win every guy on the boat and have everybody be attracted to her, you know? And it's. It's sad, you know?

[A]

Yeah, but sad.

[B]

But also what's sad is that guys are such idiots, and they do it every time. It's like they fall for it every fucking time. And that's why there are such things as honey pots, because men are stupid. You can bring down the most powerful man in the world by. By rubbing your vagina up against him.

[A]

They. I would actually push back and say it's not that they fall for it. It's that they are just so passive, and they're just so happy to get, like, female attention that they just go along with it because they don't think about consequences. And they also know that the girls are probably going to come back to them anyway. And I think that's what's really so infuriating. Like, we talk about, like, well, the girl. It sucks for the girls because they get disrespected, but they also, you know, they have needs as well, and so they have to sort of go back to these guys. But it's just so annoying that the guys know that they have. They're in that position, and so they're like, whatever, I'll do this with Alicia. Even though I'm trying to show that I really like Jenna, who cares? I know that I. She'll probably come Back to me. So I'm just gonna do this. I just hate that.

[B]

Yeah. So Jenna's annoyed, so she walks away. And she's telling Daisy she's frustrated with Eddie. And then back to Alicia and Jenna. Alicia is like, why are you trying to. With. Why are you trying to With Jenna, Eddie? Oh, no, this is Alicia and Eddie. She's like, why are you trying to fuck with Jenna, Eddie? And he's like, well, I just like her. And she goes, no, you don't. You don't.

[A]

So here.

[B]

Alicia, grow up.

[A]

At this point, Alicia could still try to say like, I was just dancing with him as a friend, but you cannot be sitting there in that van and telling Jenna to kiss Eddie. And then you're telling Eddie you don't like. You don't like Jenna. I'm like, you are a bad friend.

[B]

Sorry. She's not even. Yeah, she's a snake. So Jenna's like, well, I didn't have

[D]

a talk in that time. I went trying to sell. So now Alicia's been talking to him now he's like, I'm sorry, I've noticed this and it is not right. It is not right.

[B]

So back to Alicia. She's like, you need someone else other than her. And he's like, what if I like someone? I go full in. And she's like, it'll never work. It'll never, never work.

[A]

So then they're. Yeah, they're watching. And Jenna's like, is it just.

[E]

Just for attention? She's like, it's dinner.

[C]

Cuz if you notice with Joel, he moved over, you know, she moved over to Eddie.

[A]

Cuz by the way, Ellie, when. When Alicia and Joao were like rubbing beer bottles together, Ellie was watching like,

[C]

oh, that's interesting because he was about to rub beer bottles with me.

[A]

Like that was her look.

[D]

Like she is trying to give massage with beer bottle.

[C]

Funny.

[A]

So she is not liking Alicia right now. And Alicia is telling Eddie it's you

[E]

and me against the world.

[A]

I'm like, what are you talking about? You're so privileged. The world is not against you. So Jenna is like, well, it's whoever

[E]

she finds most of apple at the time.

[C]

It's like Alicia seem to have obsession with getting male attention. You know, like she.

[B]

You're not wrong. But you're also Ellie.

[A]

So I know there's Alicia.

[C]

Pick me, Sia. Anyway, who wants massage? Who wants massage?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't throw oil when you live in a massage table house. You know what I mean, Ellie? But you're right, you're Right, but you're.

[A]

Don't throw aromatherapy jars when you live in a massage envy house.

[D]

But I just don't understand where the backstabbing comes from. So pick me. Pick me. She just picked me. Like, yeah, but you have a boyfriend. But whatever. Let's go party without them.

[B]

So now Joao is dancing with Ellie, and Mike walks by, and he's like,

[D]

joel, it has to be you, brother. It has to be you. You've got it in the bag. Get that kissing. Get in. You've got the dare. You've got it. I'm just gonna stand here and jerk off while you do it. Kiss her. Kiss her gold. Kiss her beer gold.

[F]

I know, but I like Daisy. Oh, my God. Did I just tell the most gossipy person on the boat? And I hope it does not get back to Daisy. That would be absolutely terrible.

[D]

What? What do you like? You can't play Twister and have your hand on three different colors. Like, come on.

[B]

Actually, yes, you can. That's how you play Twister. You have your hands on different colors, your feet on different colors. Mike, clearly you're such a creep that no one will even play Twister with you.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Take the hint.

[A]

I hate Twister. I hate Twister so much. I don't want to play a game where I have to, like.

[B]

Like, I can barely touch my toes. I drop something, and I have learned to pick it up with my feet because that's how bad I am at bending down. Okay, I'm not playing Twister.

[A]

It just takes up so much floor space.

[B]

Twister is getting out of bed. Yeah,

[A]

so. God, I have not played Twister in years. Geez. I'm like, maybe I should play that again. That's kind of a fun game.

[F]

I take it back.

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

Twister commercials.

[A]

Here comes one right now. So Jenna and Eddie are talking, and Eddie is like, you annoyed at me now?

[C]

She's like, yeah, I am.

[E]

She's like, but what have I done?

[A]

Oh, God, please just throw this guy overboard.

[E]

She's like, what do you mean? What have you done? Since you've been here, I haven't even danced with you.

[A]

Which I like that. It feels like very much like middle school. Like, I haven't even danced with you. But the truth is, she has a legitimate complaint here.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's this children. So he's like, can we go outside and talk?

[D]

It's like, no.

[B]

So now they're all leaving. The girls go in one car and the boys go in another car. Of course, with Alicia. So Eddie's like, guys, I'm in this again. And Jenna's crying with the girls.

[D]

I'm like, I just don't want to be in a competition. I want my. I don't even have to feel emotional over such. I've bad. Idiot.

[E]

He has a.

[D]

As a molec. He has a molec.

[A]

You know, like, Jenna's story is actually low key, One of the saddest of the season, because she came on this boat being like, I just want to

[E]

be up on the deck and, like, meet a rich guy who's gonna, like,

[A]

you know, want to take me and

[E]

bring me to Paris, and I'm gonna live the high life.

[A]

Like, she came onto this boat thinking she was gonna find her JFK Jr. And be, like, plucked out of obscurity and, like, be brought into the high life and be like, improve her station in life. And now here she is, just hoping to get a shred of attention from a lowly deckhand who, like, sometimes pays attention to her. And it's just.

[B]

And Ben, she's like, was, you know, flirting with Ben, too. And it's like, there's your dream. That's your. That's your plan to, like, move up. Is a drunk. You know, down Rosacea. You know, bleary, bloated. Ben, like, come on. And then she can't even get either one of them. And it's sad. It's like, what kind of world is this when you're drop dead. I mean, drop dead gorgeous and funny, and you're. This is what you're dealing with. Like, what's the point?

[A]

Yeah, I'll just.

[B]

Seriously, I'll just stay mediocre. Like, what's even the point? So Alicia pulls Joao aside. So. Okay, so jaw. They get back to the boat, and Joao is kind of walking with Ellie, and Ellie thinks she's about to pounce on Joao and make babies, basically. So she's ready, and we can see she's ready. So they're walking, and then Alicia sees this. So she pulls Joao away, and she's

[D]

like, joao, you and I need to have a conversation.

[B]

Yeah, come over here.

[G]

And he's like, what?

[B]

And I was like, come on, come over here. So she keeps him on the dock.

[A]

Yeah. And she's like, chow.

[E]

You and I, we have a lot.

[A]

We have.

[E]

We have to have a conversation. Because I generally thought. Unless. Just give me two seconds. I need to ask a very quick question. Okay. Are you. Are you trying to pull tonight?

[A]

He's like, oh, Ellie.

[F]

It's like, is that what you want to ask?

[E]

Because if you're not interested, I just want to know what's going on.

[A]

And he's like, well, so you pulled

[F]

me here to talk about that?

[E]

She came out of the taxi and saw us having a chat and was disappointed.

[A]

I'm like, what are you trying to ask about Alicia? Are you saying that you're interested? Are you trying to find out for Daisy? I didn't understand what her end game was, except to kind of just block.

[B]

Yeah. Or flirt or make him think that she likes him or something. Because she's like, yeah. I mean, look, she's mad that I'm talking to you, so obviously something's going on.

[A]

Or like, do you like these ridiculous. She's ridiculous.

[B]

So Eddie goes through the boat and

[A]

he's like, I don't know what I've done wrong.

[B]

And then he goes to his cabin and starts crying on the. Shut up, Eddie. You don't know what you've done. You're gonna cry now? Give me a break.

[A]

It's like, I'm all for a bit of fun banter, but when you start hurting people's feelings, that's not fun anymore, and that's not fun for anyone. And seeing Jenna, who I care about, upset, that just makes me feel like a dick. Because you are a dick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what's not fun for anyone? Watching this thing.

[B]

How many times have you done the same thing? Now cut the.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[B]

So now he's crying, and then Ellie. Ellie walks out to the deck to check because she's mad, you know, she's

[D]

like, what is this Alicia doing with my man?

[B]

So she's like, looking over the side,

[D]

and she's like, are they still having chats? What is happening?

[B]

So then we go back to Alicia and she's like, you and your fucking.

[D]

You and fucking.

[B]

What's her face?

[D]

And we talk about.

[G]

He goes, fucking what's her face is not really the most appropriate thing to say.

[D]

She's like, you and Ally.

[B]

Then he's like, I'm tired. Let's go in.

[G]

Come on, let's go.

[D]

And Ali's like, fucking ridiculous. This is fucking ridiculous. I'm going back.

[B]

So she just goes inside, all pissed.

[A]

Yeah. And then she texts you out, I

[C]

hope you and Alicia had a great time tonight.

[F]

So he's like, yeah. Oh, sorry, it was weird. Let's talk tomorrow.

[A]

So. And he's more than happy, by the way. He's more than happy to send that message to Ellie that he's not that interested in Her. I mean, that's, I think, also why he engaged with her so long. Because if Joao was really interested in Ellie, I guarantee he would have been like, I can't talk right now, Alicia. He would have gone after Ellie. We've seen this a million times before. It's not his first time on the show, so he was more than happy to have, you know, Alicia to sort of talk to and hide away from Ellie about. But so when he says, let's talk tomorrow, I'm assuming he's gonna basically tell Ellie. Yeah. So just so you know, I really appreciate the massage and everything. I think you're a great girl. I'm just not feeling it. But like, of course I. Why would I ever think that Joanne would do the mature thing? Yeah, never.

[B]

So now it's the next morning, 5:11am and Eddie is texting Jenna and he's

[D]

like, are you okay?

[B]

I went to bed crying last night. Oh, off man. So she writes back, can we talk? So she goes to his room and lays in bed and they start cuddling.

[D]

It's like such a magic. It's okay, but control again, I'm so disappointed in this.

[A]

She just goes right back in there.

[E]

I definitely do have a weak spot for Eddie, but I do feel like Eddie is manipulated by Alicia and if she was taken out of the equation, he would be acting a lot differently. So yeah, I'm happy.

[A]

I'm like, no, don't, like, don't give him that pass. He's being manipulated by Alicia. No, no, no. Alicia is being shitty in the situation, but he's being shitty of his own will as well.

[B]

Yeah, and there's going to be a lot of Alicia in the world. I mean, not for Eddie probably. He's, he's pretty mid. But in general, like, there are a lot of Alicia's in the world. There's always going to be someone there to like, try, try something. You need to be with someone who is not gonna just jump on anything that gives him the chance. That's the whole point. Like, it doesn't matter that Alicia sucks. Like, have some more brains, Jenna, for sake. So now seven and Mike and Eddie are in the cabin and Mike's sitting and taking a poo basically and opens the door to start talking to. Don't. He's so gross. Like everything about this guy is just disgusting. I don't need your poop particles floating out at me, sir. You're gross enough as it is. I'm dealing with your Aqua Net particles now. I've got to get your Poop particles in my lungs. Close the door.

[A]

I. I can only imagine who are the sad souls who are subscribed to his only fans. So guess what I need to tell you. Joel said to me last night, I like Daisy. I went, what? Where's that coming from?

[E]

Okay.

[A]

And he's like, that's like it.

[B]

He just.

[A]

He's like, I'm opening the door to let Eddie know that Joao likes Daisy. So Ellie is putting away the massage table from last night, and she runs into Alicia in the hall. And Alicia's like, hi, Ellie.

[E]

You okay?

[C]

She's like, I'm okay. Thanks, Alicia. I appreciate it.

[E]

It's like, what's up, doll? Have I done something to upset you?

[C]

She goes, a little bit. I just felt like your behavior yesterday, you were in the van hyping me up about you. Wow. And then you be like, for him yesterday, last night.

[E]

She's like, but I was just chatting

[A]

with him, like, okay, that's awesome.

[C]

And you just keep doing that. You're so disrespectful to the girls. You're so inconsiderate to everybody outside of yourself. You're the only person you think of is yourself. You have no consideration for anybody else.

[D]

You're just awful.

[C]

And if you are selling vegetables at the streets, I would not buy them for you. And you would have no milk tonight.

[D]

Your potato, you're plentiful, but no one wants to eat you anymore.

[B]

So Ellie walks away, and she's like,

[D]

alicia, not girls, girl. She literally ruined everyone's night last night. And somebody has to say something.

[B]

So Mike has overheard this. You just see Mike stalking in a doorway, like, over listening to this and, like, listening to this whole argument. And finally he comes out of hiding and he's like, what just happened?

[D]

She says, I was just chatted to Joao after we got out the taxi.

[B]

Yeah. About Ellie trying to start Alicia, come on. And he's like, that was it.

[D]

Joa came to me and said, I don't like Ellie. I like Daisy. What about that? What about that?

[B]

I know. It happens because I remember jerking off to it the whole time it came.

[E]

Actually, she can give herself. If they were really gonna have a thing, they would have already had a

[A]

thing by now, which was not into her.

[E]

She's made an enemy now.

[A]

Like, oh, wow. Made an enemy. I'm like, alicia, you know what? Like, if you think that you are the scary one here because you're now an enemy status, I just want to say, like, good luck. Good luck against Ellie, because shoot. Ellie brought Ben Down. Okay. Like, she. She destroyed Ben. And no one in the history below duck has. Has ever been able to do it the way Ellie has. So I would be more concerned for you than. Than for Ellie in this case.

[B]

Yeah. So Alicia's cleaning cabins, and Jenna comes in. She's like, everything.

[D]

Ellie just came in and had a go at me. She said, you're not a girl's girl, and all you do is think about yourself. And I'm just like, go yourself. She's. Well, basically, I felt the same way as Elodie. Like, when you take any side chat with him for so long. I was a little bit jealous. I kind of cut myself off from Eddie last night, and that's what. That's why I went to him this morning. So, you know, I kind of feel. I said, I kind of feel bad how we left off.

[B]

She's like, oh, well, I'm sorry if I made you feel a certain way.

[D]

She goes, well, it's obviously just jealousy's a. And jealousy makes you nasty.

[B]

And Alicia is like, what the hell?

[A]

I feel like Jenna was. Well, when she was saying jealousy is a. Was she saying Alicia was jealous or was she.

[B]

I felt like making it. She was thinking about herself, but I think by continuing and saying, yeah, jealousy really makes you a. She was kind of talking to Alicia, you know, like trying to have a conversation with somebody where you don't want to be too confrontational.

[A]

Yeah. So that's like, all right, Daisy, Ben and Joel, come to my kimono room for a preference sheet meeting. We've got twinks on the way.

[E]

Get in here.

[A]

So he's like, all right, charter Cinco. That means three. That means five. Okay, five it is. This is Tyler. He's a socialite from New York City with the face of Bronwyn Newport, but the hair of west from Summer House. How about that?

[B]

Somehow this guy looks like a person from a Jane Austen drama and also a person from Downton Abbey, probably playing school Remain. Somehow he's very wealthy. So we go to Manhattan.

[D]

Busy, busy.

[B]

There's traffic in Manhattan, so many taxi cabs. And so the producer asked this Tyler guy who's been on the show before, right? I love that. This guy is just like, rich as hell because he some old dude and then spends his money to go on blow deck and get on tv. It's so funny.

[A]

I did. I did not. I mean, like, it's weird because he's so sort of generic twink looking that if he had been on the show before, I would not have known. I Like I, I, I definitely did not pick up on that, but he probably has been. So he's here and he's wearing this like little blazer that has like some sort of like, it looks like golden bird on his shoulders. And he's like, so, yes, hi, I'm Tyler. And they're like, how does a 28 year old afford a charter to charter super yacht? And he goes, what's a budget, honey? I don't budget, I just spend. My partner is a very successful businessman and incredibly private. So he just said, I'm gonna sign the check, send you away for a while and bring your friends and have a good time. I'm like, sweetie, that means that you're annoying as fuck and he's just in it for the sex. And he can't bear to talk with you during the daytime hours, so he's putting you on a boat to get you out of his hair and he's probably cheating on you.

[B]

So he has a best friend, Brian, who's also his dermatologist and he comes out in high heels and he's like, oh my God. Tyler is the most over the top person will ever meet. Then we come back to present daycy's like, Tyler's been keeping a surprise under wraps for his gusts. He's flying in his go to glam technician to get him ready for a drag night on board. Oh, wow. I bet the guests are gonna love that.

[D]

Wow. He's doing drag for us again.

[B]

And now we're on a boat and can't walk to a separate section of the bar. The most important part for Tyler is that the other guests do not see his glam get dropped off onto the yacht. Surprise. Glam. We must have discreet glam delivery.

[A]

I feel like, I feel like when Tyler gets into drag, he's gonna look like Ivanka Trump. I swear to God.

[B]

I was like, that's such a good call.

[A]

I was like, we know which way this is going.

[B]

So he already dresses like a Trump hotel.

[A]

He does.

[B]

Wearing like big diamond, you know, clusters on his shoulders and stuff.

[A]

Tyler's gonna be joined by Nick, Ashley, Mitchell, Brian, Spencer, Devon and Luigi. And good luck telling them all apart. They're all going to wear beige and they're all going to look exactly the same.

[B]

Watch out, we're all going to have very orange sheets by the time this is done. This is a very spray tanned group. The whole boat's gonna smell like Nair.

[A]

All right, so Brian is like, we've become accustomed to Tyler and his partner covering the bill. For a lot of things, which I'm grateful for. But I realized that I. That's outside the realm of normal for most people. And by the way, it's poor Tyler. I actually feel bad for Tyler, knowing that when his boyfriend dumps him, how his friends are just gonna leave him in a heartbeat, knowing that.

[F]

That the.

[A]

The boyfriend is. Is basically funding all of their coke and ketamine and, you know, bottles of champagne.

[B]

Yeah, well, you get them the same. You lose them the same way. You get them. Get them with money, lose them with money. So. Or lack of. So Tyler's like, well, you pay me

[D]

back in cosmetic procedures. It evens out in the wash. You know how much Botox is running through my face right now? Joan Rivers is a turning in her grave.

[A]

So Jason's like, so he's a foodie. I'm like, why do.

[B]

He's not.

[A]

Why do I. This is not a foodie.

[B]

He's. He's as thick as a fingernail.

[A]

This is not a foodie here. I'm telling you that right now. It's like, so we're going to be busy. We've got a lot going on. What the primary wants, the primary gets. So now we got to Daisy and Jenna in the guest room, and Jenna's folding towers. And Jenna's like, by the way, I

[E]

thought this was done and Lisa hasn't done it. So Ellie went in and talked to her and basically said, I don't appreciate your pulling dry. And she was playing with fire.

[A]

She said, oh, well, I do think Alicia, in my opinion, is jealous.

[E]

It's like, yeah, she's in the drama of relationships. She's not even in a relationship.

[B]

So clean, clean, clean. And everybody's done for the day. So Ellie's like, brushing her teeth, and this is really a long brush teeth brushing moment where she's like. I was like, why is this? Why are they focusing so hard on Ellie brushing her teeth? Oh, it's because she's gonna go try and bang Joao now. So she finishes and then she goes in.

[D]

She's like, hello, I've missed you.

[B]

And he's on the bottom bunk, and she takes off her shoes and just gets right in bed.

[G]

And he's like, oh, how are you doing?

[B]

Anything interesting?

[D]

She's like, oh, well, I told Alicia off. That's about it. I just didn't know what was going on.

[B]

And he puts his arms around her and they're, like, flirting. Oh, he's so gross.

[A]

This is not a guy. It's just so funny because he's like,

[F]

well, I'm not really into her.

[A]

But meanwhile, she knocks on his door and she. He stays there in bed and, like, tucked in the bed. So, like, I think if you're. If you're not interested in someone and they come into your room, I think if you're. I should say, if you're a guy and a girl comes into your room and you know that she's interested in you and you're not interested in her, are you going to stay in that bed necessarily? I think I'm going to sort of move again to, like, a more platonic stance. I might like, he's interested.

[B]

He's interested. He's going to take whatever is there.

[A]

He's going to take whatever he gets

[B]

around her. Oh, my God.

[A]

Like, and, like, it's. He's either full one or two ways. He's either lying to us by saying he likes Daisy, or he's lying to Ellie right now, which he is. And he's blatantly like, well, I'm not interested in her, but if she wants to make out with me, I will. I will make out with her because I'm horny.

[B]

I think he looks at Daisy, is not a sure bet. So he's going to take. Where you know he's going to take the sure bet. So he's like, well, if you were

[G]

worried, why didn't you come and find out what was going on?

[B]

Because, Joel, like, they're not supposed to, like, fight over you. Like, you're supposed to. Oh, my God.

[G]

And he's like, sorry, I got distracted. I lost track.

[D]

It's like, it's okay. Thank you for apologizing. Oh, birthday massage back on.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Thank you for being so respectful. I really appreciate it.

[B]

And they kiss, and he's like, well,

[G]

honestly, I've had quite a day. Quite a day.

[D]

She goes, well, I'll let you do it then.

[B]

So jaw's like, oh, my God.

[G]

How do I put myself in this kind of situation over and over? Like, I just know. I know I'm not supposed to be in, like, this situation, but what chance did I have?

[A]

Yeah. This is the classic thing. Wow. How do I find myself in these situations? Over, like, this is what they all say. Yeah.

[F]

And then he's like, I was. I mean, I was literally cornered in my own head, my own bed.

[B]

I'm like, she made me.

[G]

She made me cuddle her, but I couldn't. I had nowhere to rub my hands except against her stomach.

[A]

You welcomed her into your room and you didn't get out of your bed. When she came in, like there were, there were some off ramps here.

[F]

He's like, I like, I'm like, what a fucking dickhead. What a cowardice dickhead. Zimlaf.

[A]

So now everyone goes to bed and Daisy and Ellie are in their cabin. And Ellie's like, joel and I just

[C]

had little cuddle in cabin.

[A]

Oh, that's cute.

[C]

And I'm going to bake him a cake for his birthday.

[A]

Oh, who saw that coming?

[B]

The next morning, Eddie and Jenna are on the deck. And Eddie's like, I had such a nice time.

[D]

She's like, I had such a nice time because I told my mom this morning.

[B]

This morning. God, okay, you're moving a little fast there.

[D]

It's like, did. Yeah. What did your mom say?

[B]

Oh, she was excited for me.

[D]

Ah, that's okay. That's in Jesus name.

[A]

And Jason's like, all crew, all crew, get into your eyes. Time to meet in the main salon, cuz the guests will be arriving. Stand up.

[E]

Oh, wait a second.

[A]

Instead of guests. Do you know what I'm seeing on the horizon there, Ronnie?

[B]

Fish report. Fish. Now it's time for a fish report. Now we've seen this stingray about 9 million times. The only reason I'm putting it in here today is because it's the stingray who is now in the same shot as the turtle and the starfish. Now this turtle has been staying hanging out with the starfish, trying to get attention. The starfish has been ignoring it. And now the stingray has come into.

[A]

Into the scene very Elysia coded. It's like Elisa's like, hello, stingray. And the turtle's like, get out of here, shoe. That's my man.

[B]

Is Alicia like, you better watch out. I mean, the turtle is Ellie, like,

[D]

you better stay away from my man. I know what you're about to do.

[C]

I know you're very unprofessional. Get away from starfish.

[B]

And the stingray is like. But I wore my best feather in my hair.

[A]

I'm going to Coachella. I'm going to Stingray Coachella after this.

[B]

Okay, now we go to this fish, which we've also seen. This is like a. Well, have we seen this one?

[A]

Well, I would. No, I. I feel like we've seen versions of this fish. So the fish that we're seeing on screen here today has the face of the stupid fish.

[F]

Like there's a.

[A]

There's one fish that's very dumb that pops up every few, like almost every week. And you're like, oh, my God, What a dumb fish. But it has the body of the pretty fish.

[B]

That fish is a 10 head. And this fish is not a 10 head, right?

[A]

But, like, this one has, like. Like the hot girl body, right? Like. Like all those. Like, those lines are, like, very beautiful.

[B]

Like, beautiful.

[A]

All beautiful, but has the stupid. Has the stupid guy face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's going on? And so I don't feel like we've seen this hybrid before of stupid, stupid guy face but hot girl body.

[B]

It's like Milton Burl in the front and, you know, Mae west in the back. And also, this fish is fascinating because look at these eyes move. Isn't this creepy? It has human eyes, which I've never seen on a fish. It has big white eyes with a blue iris and black pupils like a human. And it rolls. It's like doll hair. It's like Chuck E. Cheese eyes. Do you remember those animatronic Chuck E. Cheese eyes? Look, it looks right into the camera. It's like, what?

[A]

It is. It is a stupid fish. It's a stupid fish because it thinks it's part of this school of other fish. And it's like, you're not part of these fish. Like, why do you think you're part of their school? This is not your group.

[B]

I don't even think it cares because, look, it's rolling its eyes. It's like, whatever. Stupid face. Everybody here is stupid except me.

[A]

I feel like it looks, like, embarrassed, like, oh, my God. I just realized I'm in the wrong school right now. The bus dropped me off at the wrong place. Oh, my God. Mom.

[B]

Mom. God, I wish mom would let me have a cell phone so I could call her to pick me up. This is so embarrassing.

[E]

I think I left my homework at home.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Or it's a Jack's fish. She's had too much coke.

[A]

Look.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Or the hat. Yeah, it's like, I'm fine. I'm sober. I'm totally sober. Yes, I'm totally fine.

[B]

Okay, so this next fish, it got. Those eyes really are creepy, though. So this next fish. Fabulous. This fish is. This is the Cheetah Rivera of fish. I'm only bringing up stars from a really long time ago that no one will understand. But yes, Cheetah.

[A]

This one. Yeah, she is. She's like. She's like. Well, I just. Just got off stage doing Kiss of the Spider Woman, and I'm about to go to Sardis for a late night snack and. No photos, please.

[F]

No photos.

[A]

No photos.

[E]

I'm off.

[A]

I'M off.

[B]

I will be wearing zebra print again.

[D]

And who.

[B]

So who's gonna stop me?

[A]

This is, I believe, is this a lionfish? And it's either a lionfish or a zebrafish. I always get them confused. But this one is a very stripy fish with all these. All these fins going in fabulous different directions. If you ever saw the Naked Gun, this is like the fish that Leslie Kelsey Nielsen gets, like, stuck on his finger and then his nose. And not only is this one fabulous in terms of it's, like, all of its pizzazz, but the fact that it's also hot pink, or at least there's a hot pink light on it. Whatever's happening, it's either found its light or it is its life.

[B]

It's just like theater.

[G]

It is like the spider woman with her velvet cape.

[B]

And I'm fast forwarding through this one because I show it again, and I want to show you. Oh, wait, did I cut it out? They showed us. Oh, this is a different fish.

[A]

I think it's the same type of. Is it?

[C]

Maybe not.

[B]

This is also another fabulous fish. It's like another showgirl fish with, like, big hair and, like, you know, tool

[A]

and, like, fins everywhere.

[B]

Fabulous fish.

[A]

And it's kind of like the. The Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski fishes. Yeah, this is like a duo. This was fabulous extravagance.

[B]

This is a fish on fish violence. We see these, like, this kind of cute fish with stripes. And this other fish, a matching fish, comes, and this, like, bonks into it, like, with its mouth. Do you think it's kissing it or do you think it's threatening?

[E]

It was a total kiss. It was so sweet.

[A]

I was like, oh. I went back and watched this, like, five times.

[B]

Really?

[A]

By the way, can we just acknowledge this crab? This crab is hilarious right before the kiss.

[B]

But this kiss is so horrible because it's one of those people, like, you're kissing them with your mouth closed, but then their mouth is open over your mouth.

[A]

But it's so excited to see its partner. I. I love it. It's like it just got home. It's like, hi.

[B]

But this part is cheating, though. This other partner's cheating. It's like, oh, okay. Hi. Hi. I did. I was at work, and now I'm at home. It happens every day.

[A]

Honey, wait. You didn't open your mouth when we kissed. Hi. I brought a pebble in my mouth for you. It's like, I don't want the pebble. But you always like the pebble.

[B]

Why do you taste like an awesome. Blossom. Were you somewhere without me after work?

[D]

Did you go to Applebee's without me, or is that Outback?

[B]

I don't really remember, but I am pissed. I'll be back in the bedroom. I'm going back to the bedroom.

[A]

By the way, the precision of that first, like. Like, these fish are narrow, and to be able to, like, come up and kiss right on these, there's like a tiny, tiny target to get lip on lip, you know?

[B]

And I love it. I love how he instantly gets a boner. He's like his fingers went straight out.

[A]

It's like. I actually almost think the first. The kissing fish, the one that comes in, realizes after the kiss, oh, my God. I just kissed the wrong person.

[B]

Oh, God. Why do we all look the same?

[A]

I'm sorry. I thought you were my boyfriend.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Oh, you're not. You're not him, are you?

[B]

Okay, I'll just be over here. I'll just be in the back.

[A]

My bad, my bad.

[B]

All right, so let's look at this crab. This crab we've seen before. This is a hairy, red crab hanging out on a hairy red and green rock. It's kind of matching the rock. The reason I really like this is because look at the. Look at the lips of the crab. This crab is so sick of being filmed as just squealing this.

[A]

Also, I like how it uses the. The bit of coral to hide its trouble areas for the camera. It's like, oh, hi. I'm just here behind this rock. Don't. Don't mind me. I. I'm. Yeah, I'm still in shape.

[B]

This. Yeah, shoot that again, but do it. I'm gonna be on the rock this time.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

It's like, why doesn't anyone. Why doesn't anyone come and kiss me? Waiting for another crab to come up and kiss it behind its rock.

[B]

It's literally hugging a rock, going like.

[A]

It's very pervy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Take a bath.

[B]

So then we see.

[D]

I just.

[B]

This is like a Georgia o' Keeffe painting in the ocean. It's like this big flower with all of this stuff coming out of it. I think Georgia o' Keefe is trying to tell someone in the ocean that it's time to start seeing, like, a. A groomer or a Brazilian waxer or something.

[A]

This is a very sexual. And I think it's an anemone. Anemone. Anemone. It's. It's very sexual. It's like. Ready? Love is in the air on this coral. Love is in the water.

[B]

Yeah. Georgia. O reef. Okay. And then we go to.

[A]

That was an amazing pun, Ronnie. You liked it? Yeah.

[B]

We go to this one. This is like a stick fish, but it's. It looks like the shape of a dragon upside down, and it's got hundreds of legs, but it's also got legs all over its body. This is crazy looking.

[A]

I think it looks like a seahorse. And you know that its wife is like. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've told Sal he's got to get a haircut. I just. I don't know why he lets it grow out so much.

[B]

Look at him. He's got a grow goatee, but he just can't do it. It just grows so uneven.

[D]

He looks crazy.

[E]

He's like, but I got.

[A]

I run cold. This keeps me warm. No, you're lazy. Sal.

[B]

Sal, the second we got married, you just stopped putting in any effort, and

[D]

I'm sick of it.

[B]

And also get that. That.

[D]

Get that skin disease fixed.

[B]

He's like, what? You're always itching. Where the lotion I bought you. It's like flames all over his body.

[A]

Sal seems to be at some sort of like the. The modern. Modern Art Museum of the Sea because he's, like, walking under an interesting light installation right now. He's like, oh, wow, I love this room. This is so thoughtful. I'm really thinking about things because what is that? What is that? What is that? That fascinating color, multi colored shape above this seahorse?

[B]

It's so cool. Whatever he's hanging out on top of, it's made with, like, tubes. Tubes of rings. I mean, it looks like it's set from alien. Truly, you know, or it kind of looks like phone cords. Old phone cords that are curled.

[A]

It's like, is it. What's the name of the artist? Is it Chihuly? Chihuly Chaluli. It's like choluli, but it could also be Jeff Koons. It's like, it's something that feels like it should be hanging from the ceiling at an airport. It's gorgeous. Wow.

[B]

It's all right. Well, this was fun. Fish report. Fish report has been the fish report.

[A]

The kissing fish delighted me the most.

[C]

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[B]

That was pretty cute. It was cute. And it shows us how different we think, because I was like, these fish are fighting.

[D]

And you're like, no, it's cute.

[B]

They're making love.

[A]

Well, also, they showed those two kissing fish right after Jenna and Eddie kissed. And in fact, I'm not gonna lie this morning because Dom fell asleep watching Below Deck this morning. I was like, dom, there were these two fish that were kissing, and I, like, went up and I found the scene and I was like, look. And I showed him the kissing fish.

[B]

Then you just opened your mouth and kissed him. Like, sucked his closed mouth.

[A]

He was like, what happened on Below Deck last night? I fell asleep. I was like, these two fish guests. And I'm not even joking. I literally. That was like. That was my takeaway. There are these two fish. I gotta show it to you.

[B]

They cast. So, okay, so now everybody is lining up outside for the guests to come. And Ellie's standing right at the front of the line with Ben. And so Daisy's like, ah, Ellie, do you mind if Jenna stands in front of you? Cause she's second still. And she's like, well, yeah, well, no, I'm saying she's standing in front of you. Please. It was an order wrapped in a request.

[C]

Move.

[B]

Move your arse.

[C]

I don't like how Daisy's addressing me. She's, like, commanding, like, oh, I'm telling you to move down the line. Like, okay, you're not my head of department.

[A]

I'm like, yes, she is a commander. You. She. And she outranks you.

[B]

Yeah. So sorry. Yes, you're losing this one. So she's.

[A]

Don't. Don't go up against Daisy. Because days, like, here's the thing. Ellie has taken down Ben, and Ellie is. She's a fierce competitor, but she will always lose to Daisy every single time. No one. No one. Definitely no one beats Daisy. She's the final boss. She's the Mario, actually. And everyone else is the bowser.

[B]

Because she doesn't have, like, weird emotions about everything too, you know, she's just, like, very cut and dry. Like, we've seen her get really emotional when she was dating Gary and what's his buns. But that's because they were both, like, putting her. Putting her through the wringer or whatever. But, like, with work stuff, she's just like, no, you move the fuck where you're supposed to be. Thanks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So now the gays come down and

[D]

they're like, oh, my God, yes, mother icon. Yes.

[B]

And come onto the boat. And Ben is setting up his honey jar in the galley, and he's like, ah.

[D]

So I've got an idea for the honey. The honey jar. I'll put in a. The honey pot, rather. I'll put in white beans.

[B]

All right, That'll represent dollars. And every time I say, babe, honey or whatever, you can. You can Take out a bean and you can eat the bean.

[D]

Oh, it reminds me of when I was child.

[C]

So easy. Swat me a line with Jenna, by the way.

[A]

He's like, I saw that.

[D]

I don't really care.

[A]

I don't give a what rank I am. It's all right with me. But now I think that, like, Ellie, I've. I have a theory now that maybe Ellie still has some unresolved feelings of being disrespected by Ben, but she knows she can't. She needs to, like, get along with Ben. So now she's just going to project them or deflect them onto other people. And now she is going to aim it towards this situation here.

[B]

So I think that no matter. I think we've learned from Ellie that no matter what the situation, Ellie needs to feel like she is the boss and in control.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And if she's not, and if people make her feel like she's not, she gets pissed. I think she's over the Ben thing. Really? I think it's like straight up Daisy now it's like, okay, well, Ben solved, but now I've got Alicia and I've got this other chick that I'm going to go and now too, because she's going to go for Jenna and for Daisy now. So Daisy's giving a tour, but meanwhile, Ellie is sees Jenna and she goes,

[D]

so Jenna, did you ask to stand in the line in front of me? Is that where that came from?

[B]

And she's like, what?

[D]

Yeah, because we are the same rank.

[B]

And Jenna just goes, hassa Hassan.

[C]

Sous chef is the same rank as seconds too. In fact, it's even higher. Maybe even higher than Forstu, maybe even higher than Chef.

[A]

And Jenna's like, half of all you care.

[E]

We never really spoke about sous chef. We just thought about Galahand and that's all we thought she was.

[A]

And she's a great reminder that that is actually what Ellie's position.

[B]

Yes. You are not sous chef. He specifically took you aside and said, all right, you're not sous chef, so we need to come up with a different title for you. That's not scullery made because, yeah, I'm sure that that'll offend you. So let's come up with something a little bit more respectable sounding. But you're also going to be the lady who does the dishes. So, yeah, that doesn't outrank anybody. And it's not even to diss that. It's not like that's a bad job. But stop trying to act so high and Falutin', babe. So Jenna goes, yeah, and what universe

[D]

would the dishwasher rank above the second stair? You should have been at the end of the line, darling. I hope you packed a snack for your troubles.

[A]

So good. So then Jenna asks Ben about some sort of barbecue and leaves, and Ellie goes, no.

[C]

Ever since she got swapped in, like, now she's on a high horse. Like, I'm seconds too. And you're just Gallaghan.

[A]

Like, she's not on a high horse. She came in here to ask a question about this barbecue, and then you came at her and she's like, settle down.

[B]

You confronted her about nothing, and she stood up to you very nicely, actually.

[D]

And Bengals did she say golly had? Well, Jenna actually does have a point. Like, theoretically, a galahad, which is what she really is. Between you and me. Okay, that would be a lesser rank. So I invented chef assistant. Like, did that improve her rank? No, she's still Susan.

[A]

He's very amused by this.

[C]

She's like, I'm gonna let karma take its course.

[D]

She's like, yes, I. I like that.

[B]

Well, then karma has already taken its course. You're a galley hand.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So they're setting up dinner. This could be on the beach. And Daisy's like, these guys have requested a lot Lost at Sea themed dinner in the beach, which is what I really wish I was at this point. And I have a love hate relationship with this theme. I love the theme. I think it's so fun. But I hate that we're going to the beach at night. So the guests are playing with water toys, having a great time, going down the slide and everything. And then Joao

[D]

icon Meredith Mar.

[B]

So Daisy and Alicia are setting up on the beach, and Daisy's like, well, I heard you had, like, a better drama with Ally the other night.

[D]

And she's like, well, she came in and she was getting her massage stuff from the cabins, and she just turned

[B]

around and was like, oh, you're not a girl's girl. You're really selfish. And all you do is think about yourself. You're not narcissist. You know, she has a way of taking things even when they were already mad and twisting them, this girl. Like, she never. She can never really quote things, right?

[D]

And she was like, you're helping me up.

[B]

You know, you were hyping me up

[D]

in the taxi about you out.

[B]

And then.

[D]

Then you had to pull him for a chat.

[A]

I mean, well, I mean, I don't really know about the Ali and Joao thing, so I can't Say something. It's like, no mid season slump. I'm just tired.

[E]

She's like, but you need to have. You need a love interest, which I love.

[A]

Alicia. Literally trying to produce her storyline.

[E]

You need a love interest. That's why we're 10 episodes into the season. You haven't had a love interest yet. What's America gonna think?

[A]

She's like, like, oh, who would be my love interest?

[E]

Bourgeoise lovely was with Ellie.

[A]

Ellie would stab me in my sleep.

[E]

It's like, oh, God, but you share a cabin.

[A]

It's like, well, look, Ellie is not in my good books right now. So it. I'm gonna met. Oh, sorry, Sorry, Alicia. I'm just trying to imagine what you'd be saying right now. What would you say?

[E]

Well, I'd probably say the same thing, which is that Ellie is not in my good books right now. So it. I'm gonna meddle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she's like, I'll burn it to the ground. And if I can't get him, if I can't make him like me, I'll make him not like Ellie instead. But she really likes him.

[D]

She's like, well, I heard through the great vine that he doesn't like her. He fancies you.

[B]

It came from a man who is popping a squat and letting out a dookie. So I'm sure it was the truth. And we cut to Ellie holding a knife in the galley, like,

[A]

and I thought for sure we'd get the mid season trailer after that. I mean, maybe we watched. I watched the screener, so it wasn't attached to that. Maybe we did get to see it on the. On the broadcast because I'm like, where's episode 10? We haven't had our mid season trailer yet. Maybe we did and I just forgot. Either way, we'll see what happens with this romantic triangle.

[B]

All right, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We will talk to you next time.

[A]

Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

[B]

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[E]

Clap.

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Jamie, she has no last namey. Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

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I love a y'.

[G]

All.

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She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

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Darn Skippy.

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It's Tippy.

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[D]

Neal.

[B]

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[A]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. Let's get Savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlon Rogers.

[B]

The incredible edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Charouse. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

[A]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[B]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

[A]

Tell of son Shannon out of a can.

[F]

And Anthony.

[A]

Please, please don't stop at Soly and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing Strike a pose.

[B]

It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet, Coutar. We love you guys. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Shirouse.