#3304 The Valley S3E02 Part One: Troubled Relationsnips

Summary

Watch What Crappens #3304 The Valley S3E02 Part One: Troubled Relationsnips

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: April 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie deliver a hilarious and biting recap of The Valley Season 3, Episode 2: "Troubled Relationsnips". The main focus is on the cast's troubled relationships, specifically postpartum sexual expectations, baby overload, and questionable new romances. As always, the hosts dish out their signature snark and pop-culture wit while dissecting the Bravo cast's messiest moments, flawed thinking, and the current state of Valley living.

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Key Discussion Points

1. The Flood of Babies and Postpartum Drama

Timestamp: [02:06]

• The episode opens with jokes about the overwhelming number of babies this season.
• Ben riffs: “You can’t even fuck a pool boy with freedom anymore. You gotta take care of the baby.”
• They introduce the main topics: new parenthood, sexual dynamics after childbirth, and men with misplaced priorities.

2. The Problem with Danny and Luke

Timestamp: [03:54] — [07:04]

• Both Danny and Luke are called out for pressuring their partners into sex soon after childbirth.
• Ben: “The guys on this show are really, notoriously just disgusting.”
• Ronnie points out Bravo might be setting up Danny for a villain edit: “Is this the year Bravo says, okay, we gave you a pass, now get ready?”
• Both express disgust at the disregard for their partners’ emotional and physical recovery.
  • Ronnie: “The last thing she needs is you being like, ‘We need to have sex.’”
  • Ben: “Jerk off, for Christ’s sake. I mean, for such a jerk off, you’d think you know how to do it.”

3. Satirical Valley Lifestyle

Timestamp: [09:29]

• The “little boxes on the hillside” jingle leads to jokes about suburban and Valley living.
• Ben jokes about wanting a kid just for applause: “I would have kids until they stopped laughing at my jokes and then ship them off and have more kids.”

4. Cast Commentary and Casting Grievances

Timestamp: [13:36]

• Debate over cast configuration, missing Sheena, and whether Lala serves as a “uniter”.
  • Ben: “If they’re going to bring Vanderpump people in, just do it. Bring all the desperados.”
  • Ronnie: “Maybe the thought was, okay, we’re gonna cast Lala because the cast is divided…”

5. Kristen & Luke’s Awkward Dynamic

Timestamp: [17:37] — [25:36]

• Recap of Kristen and Luke’s stilted conversation and Luke’s persistent sexual frustration.
• Ben criticizes Luke’s approach: “Instead of begging people to have sex with you, why don’t you make them want to have sex with you?”
• Hilarious riffing about “nanny interviews” and Kristen turning them into FBI procedural cases.
  • Ben: “You should bring people in to interview and then give Kristen the FBI Most Wanted website.” [23:13]
• Commentary on therapy advice shaming Kristen for not prioritizing sex yet:
  • Ben: “I just dropped a fucking baby out of me.”

6. Brittany’s Sensory Room and Zach’s Angst

Timestamp: [25:38] — [29:56]

• Zach visits Brittany, who’s proud of her son Cruz’s new sensory playroom.
• More jokes about the kind of “sensory room” that would have existed when Jax was around.
• Zach discusses his ambivalence about having kids and surrogacy costs:
  • Ben: “If you don’t want kids, you should not have kids, period.”

7. Brittany's Questionable Romance with Brandon

Timestamp: [30:16] — [35:32]

• Zach tries to caution Brittany about moving too fast with her new boyfriend Brandon, who already has two “baby mamas.”
• Ben and Ronnie point out Brittany’s pattern of ignoring warnings (especially in her relationship with Jax) and villainizing friends who speak up.
• Ben: “Just because he’s honest doesn’t mean anything… Honesty means nothing if they’re still disaster.”
• Ronnie: “That’s how Brittany rolls, though… She villainized anybody who said it.”

8. Reflecting on Relationship Patterns

Timestamp: [35:35]

• The hosts contemplate Brittany’s susceptibility to toxicity and the implications for her child.
• Ronnie: “She’s probably susceptible to falling to certain patterns. It probably has to do with daddy issues, yada yada yada. I’m not a therapist, but I am a podcaster, and that gives me some authority to pontificate…”

9. Lala’s One-Year-Old’s Birthday Party Shenanigans

Timestamp: [40:17] — [46:06]

• Lala flirts with the hired lifeguard at her daughter’s birthday party.
  • Lala (mock flirt): “If I didn’t have a child, we would bang right now. Is that something?”
• Ben quips about reality TV bravado: “Still got it. Still, like, you got the phone number from the guy you hired.”
• Jokes about Lifeguard Elijah and Lala’s forwardness.
  • Ronnie: “This is very Lala to pass off her baby to hit on the lifeguard that she hired for a one-year-old’s birthday party.”

10. Relationship Cross-talk and Church Culture

Timestamp: [46:43] — [49:54]

• Michelle and Tom’s potential date gets ridiculed.
• Danny and Nia’s “man of faith” storyline satirically linked to LA’s notorious hipster churches (i.e., Mosaic).
• Ben and Ronnie riff on hot people, young Hollywood congregations, and “thighing” instead of tithing.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Ben [03:57]: “Welcome to the valley of the babies and valley of depressing people.”
• Ronnie [04:21]: “Now Bravo has to give a bad edit to someone.”
• Ben [07:08]: “Go jerk off like everybody else, you weirdo.”
• Ronnie [09:29] (on suburban living): “I have the suburban car, so I have a piece of the valley here.”
• Ben [18:09] (on being a fly on Tom’s wall): “You’re just a fly that got the shit lottery if the wall you wind up on is watching Michelle Lally and Tom Schwartz together.”
• Ben [22:11] (Kristen's therapist): “What is 15 minutes out of your day, Kristen? ...Because you’re fucking fired the fuck out of here.”
• Ronnie [23:45] (on Kristen vetting nannies): “I think Kristen would make a great CBS procedural called The Nanny Finder.”
• Ben [29:56]: “I would actually rather throw myself into the LA river than have kids.”
• Ben [32:44] (on evaluating Brandon): “The movie poster is there for a reason… judge them.”
• Ronnie [43:35] (on Janet’s jumpsuit): “She’s wearing khaki, could go either way towards a rhinoceros or there’s Pine Sol.”
• Ben [49:08]: “You guys, I optioned the Bible. I’m not even kidding you.”

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Major Timestamps

• [02:06] – Baby overload and introduction of postpartum sexual drama
• [03:54] – Critique of Danny & Luke’s pressuring behavior
• [09:29] – Valley stereotypes, “little boxes” riff
• [13:36] – Casting complaints, Vanderpump crossovers
• [17:37] – Kristen & Luke’s relationship tension, sexual pressure
• [25:38] – Brittany’s sensory room, Zach’s kid anxiety
• [30:16] – Brittany’s romance with Brandon, red flags
• [35:35] – Analysis of Brittany’s relationship patterns
• [40:17] – Lala’s baby's birthday, lifeguard flirtation
• [46:43] – Tom & Michelle, church humor, Mosaic reference

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Tone & Style

Throughout, Ben and Ronnie maintain their playful, irreverent tone—mocking cast absurdities, poking fun at Bravo editing, and turning even the bleakest moments into comedy gold. Their humor oscillates between sharp sarcasm, affectionate ribbing, and outright goofiness, with seamless asides and in-jokes for Bravo superfans.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode delivers a classic Watch What Crappens blend of shade, social commentary, and Bravo recapper catharsis. It’s a must-listen for anyone following The Valley or interested in reality TV relationship messes—with plenty of laughs, memorable rants, and razor-sharp insights into why some people just can’t stop making the same mistakes (and what makes for perfect Bravo villain fodder).

Want more? Check out Part Two for the rest of the dissection, drama, and trademark Crappens chaos!

Transcript

[Ronnie]

Mom, can you tell me a story?

[Mom]

Sure. Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car.

[Ronnie]

Was she brave?

[Mom]

She was tired, mostly. But she went to Carvana.com and found a great car at a great price. No secret treasure map required.

[Ronnie]

Did you have to fight a dragon?

[Mom]

Nope. She bought it 100% online from her bed, actually.

[Ronnie]

Was it scary?

[Mom]

Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.

[Ronnie]

Did the car have a sunroof?

[Mom]

It did, actually.

[Ben]

Okay, good story.

[Mom]

Car buying. You'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply.

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[Ben]

Who cares what happens when there's so much. There's so much that happens.

Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to Watch what crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Bennuni T. Hi.

[Ronnie]

How are you?

[Ben]

Good. Do you know why?

[Ronnie]

Why?

[Ben]

Because I have my best friend, little tiny Ben, to hang out with today. Oh, hi. I'm tiny little Ben. Oh, look at me. I'm a little tiny Ben head. I have this little tiny Ben head on my desk that our friend Colleen made us. And it just sits here on my desk and stares at me every day. And it cracks me up whenever I'm like, what would Ben do? I just ask tiny bed. And he tells me. He's like, don't ask Ronnie. Don't put that as your nose is for breathing. Okay, Ben. Another. I have doing that.

I have a little baby in my arms because it's the Valley baby.

What else did we have? Everybody hold a baby. Jesus. This was so many babies. There were babies everywhere. Poop and scream and slaughter. They're all over the place, you guys. It's a. It's an epidemic.

Babies. It's.

[Ronnie]

It's out of control. The number everywhere.

[Ben]

My God. Don't put your penis into people, okay? Don't let penises inside of you, because this is what happens. Little babies everywhere. You can't even fuck a pool boy with freedom anymore. You got to take care of the baby. Everyone, welcome to the Valley Day. If you want this recap on Vidya or you want our bonus episodes? This week is a preview of in the City, which was really funny. Last week was a recap of Survivor, which was also super fun. You also get ad free listening. You also get Freakly We Freakly, a weekly free TV blog making fun of all these shows written by moi. And you get, I mean, all sorts of shit. Just go over to Patreon already. My God. Some people were asking via email this week. They were like, oh, I'd like Patreon, but I like the ad free listening. But I would rather listen on Spotify. All you have to do is add it to your Spotify. Add, add free listening to your Spotify and boom, you get ad free listening in your Spotify. Whatever app you listen to, you can do that within Patreon. So do that when you sign up, sign up on the computer, not on your iPhone. Because when you sign up on the app you get charged more money. So if you want it cheaper, do it on your computer browser. Okay? There's your Patreon tips and tricks for the day. Today we are talking The Valley Season 3, Episode 2 Snip snip.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, snip snip.

[Ben]

Welcome to the valley of the babies

and valley of depressing people. You got two men on here trying to pressure their women into having sex after they've just dropped baby. I mean, the guys on this show are really, notoriously just disgusting. Really. The best one is Jason and unfortunately, you know, I guess one half of the couple has to suck in order to be on this show. I'm not sure what it is, but

damn, honestly, the guys are now going

[Ronnie]

to find out the hard way what's gonna happen now that their alpha, like both their alpha and their alpha villain is gone. Because now Bravo has to give a bad edit to someone.

[Ben]

And I think that Bravo is interested in not giving Jess Jesse the villain edit.

[Ronnie]

I don't think they're giving Jesse villain energy this year. I think Jesse is just sort of

[Ben]

like mid pack almost getting a nice edit and I think that Danny and Luke.

[Ronnie]

But I think Danny's gonna get a bad edit this year.

[Ben]

I think it's been sort of, ah, it's been bubbling under the surface and Danny and Nia have been like the golden children. And I think this season might, might

[Ronnie]

not be great for him.

[Ben]

I'm just sort of feeling last season

was great for him.

Well, I, I do think last season was. I.

[Ronnie]

Here's the thing. I think that he could have had a much worse edit last season than

[Ben]

what he was given, considering what the

[Ronnie]

whole discourse around him was. Yeah, I think that. I think the edit around him was

[Ben]

like, he's like this, like a nice

[Ronnie]

guy who is releasing steam and maybe lost a little bit of control. I think that was the vibe of his edit and it could have been significantly worse. But I. Part of me wonders, is this the year that Bravo says, okay, we gave you a pass. Now get ready. We don't have Jax anymore, so we gotta villainize some guy.

[Ben]

Well, he's earning it in my book. I mean, my God, the pressuring on Nia and then like sitting there laughing while she's about to break down after he's forced her into fucking Santa Clarita where she feels like a prisoner and she wants to just. You crawl under a rock or whatever. And he's just like, well, when are you gonna start banging me again? I mean, just gross, gross. So he deserves any. He deserves any edit that he gets, and so does this guy. You know, I've never liked Luke. Kristen's Luke. Everyone's like, luke's so nice. Luke's a creep. Okay? Luke is a creepy little guy. I've never liked that guy. And he is really being gross in this episode. He's really bugging me. And you know what? I don't care whether or not I just dropped a baby. Don't pressure me to Luke. Gross.

[Ronnie]

Yes.

[Ben]

Yeah, Luke. Luke had a good season last year.

[Ronnie]

He had a good edit last year, but this year, I just think it's so tiresome, you know, here is Kristen, who is, you know, breastfeeding your. Your baby, who is going through all

[Ben]

these things, who's had to undergo all the physical pressures and.

[Ronnie]

And whatever the what all the. I don't want to say consequences, but, like, what?

[Ben]

You know, her body's had to change. She's had to go through things. She's had to go through surgery. All this stuff she's dealing with so much. And the last thing that she needs

[Ronnie]

to deal with is you being like, well, we need to have sex. We need to have sex.

[Ben]

Got.

[Ronnie]

It's.

[Ben]

You know what it's called?

[Ronnie]

Some Lubriderm and your fists. Okay, get to work.

[Ben]

Jerk off, for Christ's sake. I mean, for such a jerk off, you'd think you'd know how to do it. You know what I mean? Go jerk off like everybody else, you weirdo.

[Ronnie]

He's just.

[Ben]

Just so pale and like, let me stick it in you all day. It's like, get out of here.

I also hate that this is Actually

[Ronnie]

more of his priority than, I don't

[Ben]

know, trying to help Kristen transition back

[Ronnie]

into just normal patterns. You know, Last week, Kristen was saying

[Ben]

how she hasn't really left the house

[Ronnie]

more than once over several weeks.

[Ben]

And I feel like if I were him, my concern would be like, hey, like, let's. Let's normalize going out of the house with the baby. Let's normalize, like, being okay with all that stuff. His concern.

[Ronnie]

His primary concern is getting laid right now. And I just think it's. It's just so typically male, and we've seen this so many time on these shows.

[Ben]

So many times on these shows, and it's like.

[Ronnie]

It's just so obnoxious. We're just, like, a terrible specimen, aren't we? Yes.

[Ben]

Yes, we are. And, you know, a lot of times people think, oh, they're just bagging on straight guys. No, gang guys are not immune from. Guys are guys.

[Ronnie]

Okay?

[Ben]

We're shit, too.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, yeah, we're terrible.

[Ben]

We're terrible.

[Ronnie]

And we're trying to help from within the house. Okay?

[Ben]

You know, like, this is.

[Ronnie]

I'm sorry, but Luke just sitting there.

[Ben]

The way that it's one thing if Luke, you know, asks and she's like, no, but the fact that he's having

[Ronnie]

serious talks, like, we need to talk about this. We need to discuss this.

[Ben]

Like, she's.

[Ronnie]

Kirsten's got enough on her mind, okay?

[Ben]

She's probably navigating some sort of postpartum. She's navigating a whole, like. Like, the stress of.

[Ronnie]

Of taking care of a baby, and.

[Ben]

And, like, she just doesn't need you

[Ronnie]

adding this on top of her heap of psychological things.

[Ben]

She's also just navigating being Kristen, which is a lot.

[Ronnie]

Even before there was a baby.

[Ben]

Serious.

[Ronnie]

A lot to navigate, Kristen Doty.

[Ben]

Yeah, it is a lot. I mean, Kristen just being Kristen. You're right. That is a lot. There's so many curbs to trip over. You know what I mean?

So many Fleetwood Mac lyrics to still learn.

All right, so let's get going. We are at Danny and Nia's depressing little box on the hillside Little boxes on the hillside Little boxes full of ticky, tacky little boxes on the hillside and they all look just the same. Daniel, have you seen the commercial that uses that song?

I have, but what is that commercial?

They make it so happy. They're like, whoa, we're not just anybody.

[Zach]

If you want to. If you want an original car, get

[Ben]

a Kia or something like that that they're using.

[Ronnie]

Mind Your words.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

Don't bring Kias into this.

[Ben]

I'm just getting that in there. So you can just. Where I live for the rest of the episode.

[Ronnie]

That's true. I have the suburban car, so I have, like a piece of the Valley here.

[Ben]

I live in the Valley. But you drive the Valley car.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's true. I do.

[Ben]

But I'm kidding. I don't mind Kia. I mean, I think they're very pretty cars, but. But I think it is a Kia commercial or something like that. And they're like little boxes on the hills and they make it like a rock song. They're like little boxes on the hillside. I don't know who came up with that, but I love hearing it again, guys. Thanks, Kia.

[Ronnie]

Yeah,

[Ben]

That's my opinion.

So Nia and Danny and Ash are.

They're all.

[Ronnie]

The backyard pool. That's nice.

[Ben]

They have a pool, you know, upsides and then. And Asher's like, dad, do your funny thing.

[Ronnie]

And he, like, flops down into the pool because he's like. He's very, very dad like. And so he does a lot of dad things like that.

[Ben]

And so the only reason I've ever wanted a kid is for the audience because they laugh at literally anything. That's why I love kids, because they will laugh at, like, the dumbest thing. And I'm like, I gotta laugh today, you know, and I can go on with my day. I would have kids until they stopped laughing at my jokes and then ship them off and then just have more kids.

[Ronnie]

I'm going to push back on that. I don't think children often laugh when I make witticisms about Linda Fiorentino.

[Ben]

Well, we have different humor. My humor relies on, like, funny faces and fart noises. And your humor relies on, like, advanced human instinct and, like, intellect that I don't possess. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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[Ronnie]

so now we

[Ben]

go to Tom's Townhouse. Tom is a friend of.

[Ronnie]

Why is he getting. Is he a friend of or is

[Ben]

he in the main cast?

[Ronnie]

I forget.

[Ben]

I think he's main. I think he's a main cast.

[Ronnie]

I think he is main cast.

[Ben]

By the way, I'm gonna say this

[Ronnie]

as well before we get any farther.

[Ben]

You know, I think that we as

[Ronnie]

an audience sometimes just, we need to

[Ben]

all just shut up because everyone was

[Ronnie]

so mad about Lala, Tom and Sheena. And I'm not, not taking that away. I'm. I think that's valid.

[Ben]

Everyone was so mad, but we basically

[Ronnie]

shooed Sheena away and I think that we should not have shooed Sheena away.

[Ben]

I think as long as Lala and

[Ronnie]

Tom were here, I think Sheena should have been in the mix.

[Ben]

And the reason why is because like, this show could use like a little

[Ronnie]

bit of an injection of campiness and

[Ben]

Sheena is that person to come by and say something stupid and do something like blatantly obvious for camera time and

[Ronnie]

to, to elevate her position and then

[Ben]

she can excuse it by saying she's a people person. I just think this show could use a little bit of that. And, and I don't know, I found myself kind of like missing Sheena in these group scenes.

I agree that if they're going to do it, like if they're going to Bring some vanderpump people in. It needs to be. Just do it. Just bring. Just bring all the desperados in. I would just not have brought anybody in. I would have brought in another fucked up couple from the valley because they need another. They need another truly fucked up couple to kind of rounded out, because these couples, no one wants to talk to Janet, you know, so that's not working. It's not working right now. The current configuration is not working. I don't know what they're gonna need to do, but it's just not. There's nothing. Maybe, like, it's not good.

[Ronnie]

Maybe the thought was, okay, we're gonna cast Lala because the cast is divided and someone like Lala will be able to bring people together, whereas a new group, like a new couple, maybe be unsure about their place and may not try to bring the group together. So I, I understand that.

[Ben]

I.

[Ronnie]

But I agree. I kind of think they should have

[Ben]

just, you know, brought in new talent,

[Ronnie]

brought in new faces. I mean, we get new faces, but I mean, new actual humans along with the faces.

[Ben]

So Tom is like, lala's a uniter. Sorry, I just had to push back on that one. When has Lala ever been a uniter?

[Ronnie]

It's 2026. Nothing makes sense anymore.

[Ben]

Lala's not a uniter, but she doesn't.

[Ronnie]

She would not be afraid if a producer said, you have to make them talk together. She would not be afraid to jump into the flames.

[Ben]

Right. She's not a. She's. She's. She can do the producer dirty work for sure. What. She's already showing today. So, yeah, we go to Tom's house and he's with his brother, his little brother. I need all the brothers here. I need, like, all three of them. Aren't they triplets?

[Ronnie]

There's about six of those twins. Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah.

Well, one of the. One of the brothers is not doing well.

[Ronnie]

Right. One of them had a rough go.

[Ben]

Remember, I think Tom mentioned that on the. On. Oh, yeah, from Rules.

[Ronnie]

Like, his brother got jumped and then was like, traumatized, entered.

[Ben]

Oh, gosh.

[Ronnie]

Drinking. And so, yeah, so I don't know what's going on with those triplets these

[Ben]

days, but now we go to Kristen and Luke's house and.

Because you can't be a triplet and then just show up yourself on TV

[Ronnie]

because you're a triple thing.

[Ben]

And. And I feel sorry, I'm sorry if you're a triplet, because I know they're triplets out there, like, but I'm my own Person that's great in your own life, but, like, I know you as triplets and I can't just see one of you because then I'm like, but where's. Do you feel like you've been cut off from? It's like another. You know what I mean? I'm worried about.

If I buy a ticket to the

[Ronnie]

Triplets of Belleville, I better see all three older women on their bicycles.

[Ben]

So.

Exactly. I don't want one seat empty because someone's going through a rough time. You need to all be here or

[Ronnie]

none of you get there. Get there.

[Ben]

I don't care how you get here. Just get here if you can. Triplets.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Let's see. Elite Adams song. She literally sang that to triplets.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's. It's specifically for that.

[Ben]

So then Kristen, Luke's house.

[Ronnie]

Kristen is asking Luke how he's feeling, and she's like, how are you feeling? He's like, about what? She's about what? I don't know. I don't know. Life or sippancy was really fun. I. I was sort of expecting you to drive the conversation right now. He's like, well, I'll be honest. I didn't see Schwarz and Michelle getting flirty on my bingo card. It's like, oh, so they were flirty. It's like, yeah, they agree to have, like, a night out in Weo. So.

[Ben]

Wow. Yeah. It's like, oh, I want to be

[Zach]

a fly on that wall.

[Ronnie]

Hey, fly said, by the way, there's no flies want to be on that wall. All the flies would like. There's literally so many better walls in West Hollywood to be on as a fly that the worst wall.

[Ben]

This is like the Olympics.

[Ronnie]

Like, when you get. When you get the ticket lottery and you're excited to go to buy a ticket to gymnastics, and you finally get in and the gymnastics is all sold out. So next thing you know, you are like, doing. Buying a ticket to, you know, dressage, which is not unlike my experience. Like, you're just a fly that got the shit lottery. If the wall you wind up on is watching Michelle Lolly and Tom Schwartz

[Ben]

together, the only flies you have it worse are the sir flies, because there are actually flies on those walls. And they're like, do you think we want to be here? We don't. We would rather be somewhere else. Just clean the walls. I mean, it's been 20 years. Can we clean the walls?

[Lowe's Ad Voice]

Clean them.

[Ben]

So Luke, Kristen's like, so, what does Jesse think?

[Ronnie]

Does he care? I, like, I want to be A fly on that wall. Caca ka buzz. But this group is so weird. I can't imagine. I can't believe that we have to go to another party tomorrow. Like Lala was talking to Nia and I and obviously about like Janet coming and I was just like, why is this even a conversation? I'm no interested in conversing with Janet. Like, we're going on a one year old's birthday party, okay? Wrong place, wrong day, wrong time, wrong wall for the fly.

[Ben]

So he's feeding the baby and she's

[Ronnie]

like, wow, you're feeding a baby.

[Ben]

Wow. And he's like, yeah, I'm really patient, but. And I don't want to push it, Kristen, but like, you know, we've been neglecting my penis in this relationship, you know? And like we haven't had any time without her around. Look at her. She's ready for college. Like I haven't even you in 20 years. The baby is five minutes old, Luke. Okay, yeah, it's five minutes old. He's like, yeah, but like, can't we like, you know, go out and like somewhere or like, maybe we could have a night in and like have her at like Britney's house or like have a babysitter when we go out and maybe we could out of the house. I don't care. Just me somewhere, please. Please, just me.

How about Luke, you like at least

[Ronnie]

try to seem appealing to Kristen right

[Ben]

now because he's like slouched down on the sofa.

[Ronnie]

Like it's one of those things where like his entire back is on, is on the, is on the sofa and his head like propped up on the

[Ben]

pillow and he's like wearing some janky ass shirt. Could you at least like try to make yourself give. Try to just try to give her

[Ronnie]

a lady boner if you're going to ask her to have sex with you.

[Ben]

Please. The thing. Instead of begging people to have sex with you, why don't you make them want to have sex with you?

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ben]

You know, like, do something, grow up, you know, start working out. Well, actually I wouldn't suggest starting to work out because I don't think people like that when they've just had a baby and then their husband starts going to the gym all the time because that usually means they're cheating. But it's also like, look at me, spending even more time now out of the house while you're stuck home with a baby and I have the freedom to like go hang. So don't do that. But like, don't do that. Glow up or, like, do things for her, you know, Maybe.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, do like, like seducer Kristen Mike, you know, so she's like something. My fourth trimester ended, like, literally two days ago, which is ironic because trimester inherently means three things, not four, but you know what I'm saying? And I'm just like, not, like, date night. Like, I just. It's whatever. Like, just, like. I'm just, like, not ready for date night. I'm not going to give her a babysitter. Like, life is back to normal. Just doesn't work that way. It's like. Well, you know that, like, intimacy has been an issue for us, and I'd like to start moving in the direction of getting back to our old sex life. Like, shut up, bro.

[Ben]

She knows it's not about date night. It's just about fudgeing. You know? I think if he was really like, listen, why don't we make an effort, you and I, to both interview people who we would be able to trust, who could come over maybe for a couple of hours to babysit. You know, we'll start with, like, one hour, and then we'll go to two hours, and I could just take you to our favorite restaurant. Or, you know, he's not doing that. He's just like, I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you right fucking now. You know? And so she's like, you want me to be honest?

[Ronnie]

I hate that idea.

[Ben]

Like, I'm so attached to her still.

[Ronnie]

I'm starved as. So that's.

[Ben]

And she says, you know, she understands. And her therapist told her. What is 15 minutes out of your day, Kristen? Oh, really? Here's what I would say. You know what? An hour of my day is, like, free now? Because you're fucking fired the fuck out of here. What is 15 days, like, kind of therapist are you? I just dropped a fucking baby out of me.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Yeah, I don't. I don't think so. So Luke is. Sorry. I just started to imagine when you said, like, they should be talking about, like, interviewing nannies, and I was kind of imagining, like, that they have, like, a. That they have, like, nanny tryouts. And then, like, a girl shows up with, like, a Groucho Marx mustache on.

[Ben]

She's like, hi, my name is Keena. I'm here to take after look after your baby.

And I'm her assistant.

[Zach]

A flock.

[Ben]

Just here to clean dirty diapers.

Just flocking. Tina.

[Ronnie]

It's actually. It's just brock dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Ben]

Yeah, I'm her mother.

[Ronnie]

The flock.

[Ben]

No, I Think that they're gonna have, like, nanny interviews. You have to do it in a way that's gonna really get interesting for Kristin. Like, she has to be able to be interested in it. So you should hire people. You should bring people in to interview. And then give Kristen, like, the FBI most wanted website and let her do searches. You know, pay the $20 a month for one of those sites where you can search everybody's details because, you know, Kristen loves accusing people of crimes and stuff.

[Ronnie]

It's not what I was expecting.

[Ben]

Just let Kristen go crazy on everybody and be like, oh, I'm. I'm. You know, until she finds one that she can find nothing on. And that, I think, would make. It would both be fun for her. It would go to an old pastime, and it would also just make her feel more secure. I think she would love something like that.

[Ronnie]

I think Kristen would make a great CBS procedural called the Nanny Finder. And she's like, my job is to find a nanny for you, and I'm gonna go to the bottom of it. So she calls in the nanny, and

[Ben]

the nanny is like, I love taking care of babies. It's what I've always been doing ever since I moved from Arizona.

[Ronnie]

What am I been in Arizona?

[Ben]

Nothing I care to share about.

[Ronnie]

And then the next hours, her, like, going to Arizona, investigating the nanny's background. It turns out the nanny's, like, running from the law. And yada dot. She's like, well, we found this out. You're running for the law, Carla. Or is that even your real name? Marissa? Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I'm going back to Arizona. Like, that would be the whole hour.

[Ben]

Exactly.

[Ronnie]

I think be a huge hit.

[Ben]

I'm in. So Luke's like, but we need to get back in the motion, because happy parents make happy babies. Oh, my God.

[Ronnie]

You're not making. Well, I guess, like, yes, you should have a happy family, but also, like, again, just jerk off, watch some porn, and jerk off.

[Ben]

Making mommy miserable by pressuring her into having sex when she's not ready yet isn't making a happy parent, Luke. You know what I mean? And Kristen's like, well, I mean, I just. I mean, I feel like we shipped my friends. My baby off to my friend's house so we can. And, you know, she's. I get what she's saying. Like, she's attached this and that. And he. He's probably thinking like, well, we don't have to ship the baby off to. We could just put the baby down to go to sleep and while the baby's sleeping. But at the same time, it's like, you know, that's not the point, Luke. Like, she's ready when she's ready, and you don't make it any easier with pressuring her. Anyway, that's enough. That's enough of that. I'm just repeating myself, but yikes.

[Ronnie]

He suc.

[Ben]

Now we go over to Brittany's house. Zach's.

[Ronnie]

Zach comes over and Brittany's like, oh, hi, Jack.

[Britney]

I mean, the sensory room. Come look.

[Ben]

And she's basically turned this room into a sensory room for Cruise, which is actually super cool. All these different, like, things to look

[Ronnie]

at and feel and move and hear and whatever. Which will come. Come Cruise down if he's. If he's ever feeling overwhelmed by buy something.

[Ben]

And then. Well, she had that with Jax. But I mean, you like, reach out and then you. You could feel like, you know, a stripper's thong on the ground or like powdery substance that's making my eyes water on the other wall, you know, what is this crust on the couch?

[Ronnie]

It's like, I feel calm now. I feel calm.

[Ben]

So this is like a sensory room, but, like, appropriate.

[Zach]

So Zach's like, wow, this is so cool.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Zach]

I recently changed Chris's playroom into sensory room.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Zach]

So he can regulate his feelings and stuff. Like, basically everything they would have at ot I have here as well. And of course, the trampoline. He's like, wow, drunk suck. Would love that. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I feel like drunk Zach's gonna be in there also playing around with the sensory room.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So that, you know, they.

[Ben]

They're like playing with Cruz and everything.

[Ronnie]

It's very sweet.

[Ben]

And at one cruise does his name. It's just cute.

[Ronnie]

Very lovely.

[Britney]

Did you say. Did you say Zach? It's like, I did. It's like, oh, my God. Oh, well.

[Zach]

So did you say I did.

[Ben]

He's like, yes. I wonder. I wonder, you know, how much Cruz says that Britney just doesn't understand because she's Britney, you know, like, she just doesn't get it. Bruce is probably sitting there like, mother, today. I would love to go for a lovely stroll in the park. And I'd love to catch that Oscar nominated film that's been re released at the Lumley.

[Zach]

She's like, what did you say?

[Ben]

Pop Tart?

[Zach]

Oh, I'll look around for it.

[Ben]

It's like, Brittany.

[Ronnie]

Hold on.

[Ben]

Stupid to understand.

[Britney]

Sunglasses on Kingsley. Hold on one second.

[Ben]

Did you say something?

[Ronnie]

But it's actually very sweet. It's very Lovely. It is. He's a cute kid.

[Ben]

And it's cute seeing how much he loves Zach.

[Ronnie]

It really is. And I was actually really happy for Britney. Like, those are special moments. And you could see she was really like, she was really kind of floored.

[Britney]

So Britney's like, so Benji just got back into town. How's that going?

[Ben]

And Zach's like, well, Benji's of course, like, just happy to be back. And like, we just need to apply for a different type of visa.

[Britney]

Oh, like an Amazon Visa? One of those things get pawns back when you buy books. You know, that's pretty cool.

[Zach]

It's like you double the points,

[Ben]

you

[Britney]

get those meal rewards. You know, when you go to Buffalo Wild Wings, you get like, you get like one free wing. Cuz the. The good. You got the Buffalo Wild Wings. B. S. Is that what you're going for?

[Zach]

Benji is like the perfect compliment because, like, I allow him to be himself and he allows me to be myself. So, you know, I want to be with that guy forever.

[Ben]

Like, I'm thinking about it.

[Zach]

Y' all talk about kids. You all talk about kids. Why would we? Like, who gossips about children? That's so weird.

[Ben]

Yeah, the non negotiable. Non negotiable.

Sometimes I talk about Janet's kid, but that's like, I shouldn't say that out loud.

[Zach]

It's rude.

[Ben]

So he's talking about, by the way,

[Ronnie]

something that, like, I did have a hard time with. You know, I generally really like Zach, but at one point he's like, he did say something about, like, how, like he.

[Ben]

He used the word his self.

[Ronnie]

And by word I mean in quotes instead of himself. And one of my pet peeves is when people say his self instead of himself. Zach, how could you do this to me? I just, I'm putting. I needed to. I needed to voice.

[Ben]

I know there's someone else out there

[Ronnie]

who heard him say himself and was like,

[Ben]

so he's. He's talking about surrogacy and it's expensive. And he's like, you know, it's not that I don't want kids, it's just that I would actually rather throw myself into the LA river than have kids.

[Ronnie]

That's it.

[Ben]

But I would absolutely be so happy if we had them, you know, because someone could fish me out of there. It's okay.

[Ronnie]

And interest.

[Ben]

I just never saw myself as having kids. I saw myself going to the White Party in Palm Springs for the rest of my life until I was 68 years old. So I don't Know, I'm just, like, kind of dealing with this right now. Brittany, I'm not sure what to do.

Yeah, I think if you don't want kids, you should not have kids, period.

Yep.

Don't put the kid through that, period. So it's like, well, let's change topics, because you know what? Speaking of that, like, I'm really worried, because, you know what? I haven't met Brandon yet. Hold on, let me squint my eyes at you. But I know you guys just got back from Cabo, and, you know, it's so nice to see you smiling and happy. But you know what? You know, if we're being honest, sexually satisfied, but that's great and stuff. But don't you think you're moving too fast?

[Zach]

She's like, no, I mean, like, maybe it feels like we're moving faster because I know for so long, you know, because I knew before then I knew him after, you know? So, you know, maybe. Maybe it's just. Because we could just get right into that.

[Ben]

But you know what?

[Zach]

I'm focusing on me. And, I mean, I like him. He makes me feel good. He's a good person. We have fun together.

[Ben]

And she's just.

[Britney]

How could you even say that? We're moving too fast. We're sitting on the couch, okay? We're not even moving at all. What are you talking about?

[Zach]

Crazy.

[Ben]

But he has two baby mamas. I was like, oh, God, Britney. Britney, come on. She's like, yeah, well, you know, the

[Zach]

good thing is he told me everything.

[Ben]

Well, yeah. How's he gonna not tell you that? Britney?

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God.

[Ben]

That's the number one trap. Britney's been treated that badly that she's like, well, at least he told me that he had two baby mamas and three children. Like, yeah, you're dating him.

[Ronnie]

Why is the.

[Ben]

The trap is thinking that honesty means.

[Ronnie]

Means quality. Honesty means goodness.

[Ben]

Just because he's honest doesn't mean anything. It's sort of that thing where if

[Ronnie]

you're arguing with someone, you sort of

[Ben]

concede a minor point. So that way people think that you're listening to them. And so he's giving.

[Ronnie]

He's throwing you a bone by being like, oh, I'm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna bear my flaws. I'm gonna bear my issues.

[Ben]

But, like, that doesn't mean that he's, like, not gonna have Jax, like, patterns. And so she's like, no, he's.

[Britney]

You know, he. Here's the thing.

[Ben]

He's not confrontational at all.

[Britney]

So he's not long Jacks at all.

[Ben]

And Zach is like, brittany, why. Why can't you see this for what it is? He has three kids by two different women, drama with both. He doesn't even live here. I'm sorry. This is a recipe for disaster.

[Ronnie]

And, like, that's bad. Like, it's.

[Ben]

It's also, like, you can have two different baby mamas, but the fact that he has baby mom.

[Ronnie]

Two different baby mamas, and drama with both.

[Ben]

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing.

I mean, the movie poster is there for a reason.

[Ronnie]

Supposed to tell you what's happening. Okay. When you buy the ticket.

[Ben]

That's right. That's why books have covers. Judge them. Yeah, judge them. And I think he's got a point here. So he's so. Zach's like, you know, I'm talking about, you know, like, the personality that's able to manipulate you and captivate you and pull you in. And, you know, that's why I like him.

[Zach]

You know, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I was like, I'm not ready for that just yet.

[Ben]

He's like, okay, well, you know, ever since you've known each other, you know, you're in a relationship. You're in the. Or. Ever since I've known you, you're in this relationship, you're in that relationship, then you're in another relationship, and.

[Zach]

But I've been single for almost two years now.

[Ben]

Like, he's like, no, absolutely not. There was the people that were there. Like, you're still rebounding. You're rebounding. You're just, like, missing that shot, like, a lot, girl. It's like, the denial you have is

[Ronnie]

insane, because it is crazy that she just called herself single. For two years.

[Ben]

You've not been single.

[Ronnie]

You've either been with Jax or you've

[Ben]

been banging this guy, or you've had, like, one or two hookups. But, like, single.

[Ronnie]

This is not single. Oh, drives me nuts.

[Ben]

So she goes, well, he's just coming

[Britney]

out a little aggressive because I literally just came out of a very controlling relationship, and I do not want any man to try to fill that space. So just, like, back off. Let me try to Just let me live.

[Ronnie]

Like, okay, now you're gonna villainize Zach

[Ben]

when he's giving you truly the best,

[Ronnie]

best advice right now and is being so clear about it. And, you know, we're gonna see later on that she's already gonna start, like, turning, like, trying to turn the tide against him.

[Ben]

Well, that's how Brittany rolls, though. And we saw it On Vanderpump Rules with her relationship with Jax, she starts stating this absolute monster and a loser. And everybody's telling her this man is a monster and a loser. She didn't care, and she villainized anybody who said it. And anybody who didn't jump on her side, she tried to get rid of along with Jax, and look what happened. So she's gonna just do the same exact thing to somebody else. You know, Brittany gets awful a lot because Jax is such a monster. And Britney seems like such a sweetheart because she's got this big smile. And I think over. You know, she does have a lot of sweet qualities to her, but she. There's a reason someone's with someone like Jax. You know, she's got a lot of.

That.

She played a lot of those games, too, while she was with Jax, with other people, I mean.

And also, like the moment I guarantee

[Ronnie]

we're gonna see Brandon say, you know what? People who don't believe in us, you should cut them out. Like you. You just can't be friends with them because you need to be friends with people who support the things that you do. And that. Because that's exactly what Jack said. He was very much like, circle the wagons, cut out people.

[Ben]

And so, yeah, I'm just.

[Ronnie]

I don't like where. I don't like the. Where this is going for her.

[Ben]

Now we go to Lala's house. Yeah, I don't like where this is going for us.

I think Brittany has lost, but I over, like, I overall like Britney and I, you know, I don't. Oh, God. Come on, man. Smarten up, Brittany.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I think Britney seems very, very sweet. I think she. I think she's probably susceptible to falling to certain patterns. It probably has to do with, like, daddy issues, yada, yada, yada. I'm not a therapist, but I am a podcaster, and I think that gives me some authority to pontificate about psychological things that I'm not licensed for. And I listen.

[Ben]

We're podcasters, which gives us extra, extra ammo because we can even judge therapists here. So, yeah, we can.

We just.

We can judge your therapy. So what do you think about that? We tried.

Yeah, we tried these therapies, and we see how. We see the damage that Britney causes

[Ronnie]

to her friends with her with the fact that she's always burying her head in the sand with these guys, and it's hard to watch.

[Ben]

Well, there's the friends, but there's also a kid now, you know, and you've got somebody who's his track record sucks, basically. And that doesn't mean like anyone who's divorced or whatever listening to this, like, what I can't have, you know, I can't be with, I can't date just because I've had two exes. No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying it's that being with somebody who's got really problematic relationships already with two women and three kids isn't, isn't great for your kid who needs special attention and need. You know what I mean? You have to think about the kid too.

And also who is diving into this

[Ronnie]

very fast and going very quickly. They're already traveling on vacations together and now it's like, be my girlfriend.

[Ben]

Like, it's a little love bomby. But, you know, we haven't actually met

[Ronnie]

this guy and I think once we meet him and we learn more about

[Ben]

him, like, I'm sure we can revise our opinions, but so far this does not sound great. And I think the fact that it's

[Ronnie]

like peeing on Zach's radar. I think Zach has been pretty good about noticing these things. I think that's like, it's not, you

[Ben]

know, we don't know the guy, but we know Britney's picker.

[Ronnie]

So that's the thing. Here comes one right now.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

So then we go to Lala. Yeah, Sherman's birthday party.

[Ronnie]

Finally someone's gonna celebrate a baseball player. So there's a lifeguard named Elijah there who's hot. So of course she goes over. She's like, elijah, I'm Lala. Our name's Rhyme. So we would normally if I didn't have a child, we would bang right now. Is that something?

[Ben]

She's like.

[Ronnie]

He's like, yeah.

[Ben]

I've never met a lifeguards who knock so much on the front door. Just stay by the pool. He's like, okay. She's like, how old are you? And he says, 38. I don't believe it. He looks 12. And she's like, wow, you're so handsome. And he goes, thank you, you're beautiful. She's like, wow. Yeah, Nailed it. This is huge milestones because when I gave birth to Sosa, she was in human form and I could like put a face to this form I thought I've had for so many years. And she just completed the family. It just felt so Bright, I would

[Ronnie]

love it if she, like. Well, of course you're gonna say that. Imagine she goes, when I had Sosa, she looks so great. But she just didn't complete the family. Could you imagine? Yeah, you're gonna say that about every baby, quite frankly. So Lala is Janet, and. And Schwartz arrived first with and Jason, and Lala's like, I had a baby.

[Ben]

I could do better. It could be better. How's your baby?

[Ronnie]

You know what?

[Ben]

I was hoping for more. I was hoping for more.

[Ronnie]

We get it. We're gonna give it another shot. This one didn't quite. I don't know. It doesn't. I don't know. Didn't really complete the picture. Although that is kind of what Danny says later.

[Ben]

What's wrong with that?

[Ronnie]

It's kind of like, well, I wish there was a brother for the other boy.

[Ben]

Oh, God. Because it's like the Middle Ages. Who's gonna carry on the Buco family name if not a man? We need another child named Buco at church or it's not gonna work. No. Who am I gonna pass on this pool in Santa Clarita to if not a dingle? A baby with a dingle on it.

So lala's asking Jenna how she's fancy. Are you nervous? And Janet's like, a little bit. It feels real.

[Ronnie]

It feels like really good energy in here, though. Like, really, really good energy. Yeah. You know what?

[Ben]

It's probably my energy because there's a

[Ronnie]

hot lifeguard out there. Oh, my God. It's always good energy at this house. You know, this, like.

[Ben]

Is it good energy at Lala's house?

I mean, I don't feel it, but maybe it's the TV screen. So Janet's, like, going into Sosa's birthday. I'm very nervous to see everybody that I haven't been on the best terms with. So she sees Tom, and, you know, he's like, wow, I'm just flirting with a taco stand over here.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Because Lala has also seemingly hired every

[Ronnie]

vendor in Los Angeles to set up camp in her backyard. It's just like a row of tents and, like. Like, flat tops and smoke and whatever.

[Ben]

I'm like, damn it.

[Ronnie]

It's crowded back there.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's a lot. So then Michelle arrives with Isabelle Isabelli and Danny. Nia come Kristen and Leia. Everybody's coming, you know, And Janet's wearing. I don't. Is she Safari Janitor is like, what is.

It's like, bucket custodian Safari.

[Ronnie]

She's wearing, like, a She's wearing like

[Ben]

a khaki colored jumpsuit that, that can

[Ronnie]

go either way towards a rhinoceros or there's the Pine Sol or.

[Ben]

Yeah. Or like it's a med. Welcome to the med spa. You know. So Janet is like yeah, last summer was tough and it felt like our friend group got torn apart. We're just, it's just so awkward. I hope we can find some peace in the group. And Nia just tells us if there's tension in the room I don't notice it. I mean maybe it's a thing on her end but you know I just whatever. I don't think about Janet it which I don't believe.

[Ronnie]

So then Britney arrives.

[Britney]

Hi, it's my Britney.

[Ben]

And then Jasmine and Melissa and Michelle's like hello, do you want me to hold your baby? And you go up to the guy.

[Britney]

Why?

[Ben]

What? And L's like there's the lifeguards. It's like d. Do you know him? She's like I don't know him.

[Ronnie]

Like I'm. But I'm about to know him. Kind of like I'm kind of nervous. I want to bang. I'm getting wet so I hope I don't squirt all over the lifeguard skin.

[Ben]

This is very lala to pass off her baby to hit on the lifeguard that she hired for a one year old's birthday party. Wow. Wow. So she's like yeah, you know like can I have your number? Do you want my number? Do you want my numbers? Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna catch you later big boy. Catch you at nap times. If it were my daughter's first birthday I would probably have. Probably like go have a quickie right now.

[Ronnie]

Somewhere the dawn is sitting at the. At a window looking out being like

[Ben]

what about me

Ladon Remember that? Of course. She's like oh my God. The bed was so wet so we had to change the sheets. I splattered that whole beds.

[Ronnie]

Ugh.

[Ben]

I don't know. Stuff that worked as like a, like a fun new hostess at the sir hostess stand. It's not really, it's not really landing the same.

[Ronnie]

I don't know. I actually applaud when you're on a

[Ben]

birthday party

[Ronnie]

that 38 year old lifeguard. You know, why not like I. I

[Ben]

mean does it get any easier? I mean it's like it's like you

[Ronnie]

said when, when you get like an instacart driver and you look at their picture or whatever. Like hey, she pretty much. She just landed the gold mine. She got Like a hot lifeguard in her backyard. Like, exchange those numbers.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's just I'm. I'm looking at it as kind of reality tv. Like, look, everybody says, still got it. Still, like you got the phone number from the guy you hired. Like, you gave a phone number to the guy who's like, paid to stand there. Wow, good for you. You know, it's like giving an order back to a waiter and being like, yeah, nailed it. He's into me.

[Ronnie]

He said to me, so Michelle's talking to Tom and she's like.

[Ben]

Tom's like, oh, so I asked Michelle

[Ronnie]

on a date yesterday.

[Ben]

She's like, that's how rumors are started.

[Zach]

Please.

[Ronnie]

And so this girl who's with them

[Ben]

is like, well, what do you think

[Ronnie]

the love life is?

[Ben]

And Michelle's like, well, I see Tom with someone in their late, their 20s that's just like free spirit and easy going.

[Ronnie]

He's like, yeah, someone who wants to live, laugh and love.

[Ben]

Like we're gonna do. Yeah. Oh, whoa. I'm a little buzzed. Please, system override. I'm a buzzed.

So now Tom is talking with Danny and Nia and he's like, wow, look at you guys. I find myself living vicariously through you guys. I mean, look at you. You're just so married and happy and you got kids and, huh, makes me kind of sad. And Mia goes, yeah,

it's like, where'd you guys meet?

[Ronnie]

All at church.

[Ben]

Because my heart, deep down, as you

[Ronnie]

know, I'm a man of faith and I love to serve and do those types of things. One of my favorite things to do is when we're passing around that little bowl with the money and is just put my hand on someone's thigh and say, give daddy some donations. Okay, there we go. Tithing. Yeah, I know. I like to call it thighing.

[Ben]

I love a place where there's so many butts to rub and so many five dollar bills to take out of a basket. Isn't that sweet? And it's like, yeah. So you know, church. And so I said, I gotta find someone who's got the same heart with a, you know, who's gorgeous and a freak in the sheets. And God was like, here she is. Here's your. Here's your sack of fuck meat.

[Zach]

Nia.

[Ben]

She's like, wow, this feels great. Love being here. So then Kristen and Brittany are talking, and Chris. Oh, go ahead.

[Ronnie]

What are the odds that they go to Mosaic?

[Ben]

Do we even discuss this at one point?

I think they a hundred percent do Mosaic.

[Ronnie]

For those who don't know. And there's this church here in LA on Hollywood Boulevard.

[Ben]

Hollywood and La Brea.

[Ronnie]

And it's kind of like young, young, pretty Hollywood church. And it's all like these like beautiful, Christian hot people in Hollywood who gather and they do like, lots of like, like hip, cool things. And they have, they would.

[Ben]

There was.

[Ronnie]

I used to go the coffee shop that was kitty corner to it. And a lot of times everyone and a lot of people in the congregation would go into the coffee shop and do like Bible study there. And they're all like young, aspiring actors, but they would be like talk, trying to interpret the Bible. But they were doing it in that like vapid way that you would expect anyone from this show to do it. And it's like the, it's truly the funniest.

[Ben]

They're like, what was Moses feeling when the bush started burning? Like, let's put ourselves in his shoes.

[Ronnie]

Jesus like went through like so much if you think about it. And the pastor has like, the pastor for the congregation would come to the coffee shop and he'd be just like wearing this like cool, like, like skinny jeans and like denim. But it's just like, it's just funny to me.

[Ben]

There's nothing, there's nothing wrong with it.

He went like 40 days without eating. And that was before four GLP ones, you guys. Could you imagine? No, I would be crying too. Jesus was hot. Jesus was like a 10, you guys.

[Ronnie]

But like, yeah, there's obviously, there's nothing wrong with any of it. It's just like a very funny thing to me because it's just such a hipster scene. It's just like a hip, cool scene.

[Ben]

And you guys, I optioned the Bible. I'm not even kidding you.

There may be some.

[Ronnie]

There may be some funny business with Mosaic. I think I have to look that up. I think there was an article about. There was some. A little bit of funny business there. Maybe that was another one of those. There are these churches around, around town that the young celebrities go to. So yeah, anyway, yeah, they're totally.

[Ben]

Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Zach]

Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens.

[Ben]

This, this is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

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It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out

[Ben]

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She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.

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