#3322 RHOA S17E03: The Butt of The Joke

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3322

"RHOA S17E03: The Butt of The Joke"

April 20, 2026

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie bring their signature humor and biting commentary to Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 17, Episode 3, titled "The Butt of The Joke." The Housewives tackle Rum ruptures, personal and financial drama, a contentious new business venture (a peach-shaped rum bottle, no less!), and emotional fallout from health scares and legal issues. The Crappens duo dissect every oddball moment, from questionable medical decisions to feuding over the definition of a “Hot Pocket.”

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Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. K. Michelle’s BBL Health Crisis (04:02–09:08)

• K. Michelle recovers in a hospital after major surgery addressing an infected BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) and illegal silicone injections.
• The hosts hammer home the dangers of illegal injections. Ben quips, “Don’t ever get illegal injections whether it’s in your butt or elsewhere,” (04:31, Ben).
• Ronnie draws a humorous parallel with his own Botox mishap: “Never get your Botox at a taco stand. That is my advice to you guys.” (04:44, Ronnie)
• K. Michelle reflects on community support from other housewives and highlights the emotional toll of living with permanent silicone.

  “The hardest thing was learning that she will never get that silicone out of her body. It will be forever in her and she will never be fully healed.” (05:19, Ronnie)

2. Financial Drama: Angela’s Real Estate Losses (11:45–13:43)

• Angela discusses losing $2 million in real estate and her determination to keep flipping homes.

  “I learned so much that I didn’t want to stop investing in real estate… She’s chasing it now. She’s chasing the dragon.” (12:11, Ben & 12:50, Ben)

• Angela’s new plan: buy and flip one modest house instead of risking multiple properties at once. The hosts wish her luck but doubt her canny.

3. Drew’s Acting and Divorce Struggles (09:08–17:00 & 60:32–66:32)

• Drew balances her acting career with motherhood while navigating a divorce.
• There’s playful speculation about her relationship with Black Tatted, a flashy influencer and "entrepreneur."

  “When we finally met Black, I was cracking up, like, yep, that’s who you want raising your children right there. Black coming in, like, shirtless to a restaurant with a big diamond BLK. …We need to work on our branding here, sir.” (14:26, Ben)

• Ben and Ronnie roast Drew’s perpetual delusion and penchant for fibbing.

  “Drew’s just a big, live face, and she lies constantly and has always lied constantly…she’s just that friend who’s always lying. …in her life, she’s got an Oscar, and she’s an EGOT winner in her head.” (16:07, Ronnie)

4. Shamia’s Peach-Shaped Rum Venture & Marital Tension (30:40–38:35, 74:51–77:41)

• Shamia embarks on launching "Rum Bum," a peach-flavored rum in a bottle shaped like her own butt, despite her husband’s skepticism.

  “Peach rum. So I looked it up and it’s called Rum Bum and the bottle is shaped like her ass. Will there be silicone injected into it?” (33:04, Ben/33:29, Ben)

• The hosts have doubts: “No one wants ass rum…Do you want my ass drink? No, I don’t want to drink from your ass.” (34:24–35:02, Ben)
• Shamia’s business ambitions clash with financial and logistical pitfalls, including lacking local ingredients (Grenada has no peaches) and import headaches.

  “Finding out the peaches don’t grow on the island of Grenada...kind of threw a wrench in my plans.” (75:36, Ben as Shamia)

5. The “Hot Pocket” Feud: K. Michelle vs. Portia (21:54–30:15, 79:46–83:54)

• At a group nail appointment, Portia cluelessly suggests K. Michelle’s surgery complication was a miscarriage—prompting offense and the start of an episode-long spat.

  “There was no malfunction in my Hot Pocket. …It was my ass. And you had them with your titties.” (23:13, K. Michelle)

• Hilarity and confusion ensue as the cast defines “Hot Pocket” for Cynthia, leading to a sidebar on burning yourself with the real Hot Pocket food.
• Later, they hash it out:

  Portia: “I’ve had several miscarriages and I’ve also woken up in a puddle of blood...the last thing I had on my mind is that you were dealing with this.” (80:44–81:30) K. Michelle: “This is absolute—normally with me, if you blame me one time, it’s a wrap for you and I’m done. But I’ve decided to give her every benefit of the doubt that I can find in every corner.” (83:34, K. Michelle)

• While the feud cools on the surface, K. Michelle hints she’s still wary of Portia.

6. Pinky’s Secret Bankruptcy & Emotional Toll (43:20–49:38, 77:41–79:44)

• Pinky seeks legal counsel for a secret bankruptcy without her husband’s knowledge.

  “Don’t do this, Pinky. That affects your husband and it affects your family. You need to tell your husband.” (44:00, Ben)

• The weight of lawsuits, business mismanagement, and personal guarantees have Pinky near a breaking point.

  “She had $20 million in debt…and now she’s thinking it’s folding and she can start fresh. …This stressed me out. I’m not…this isn’t even my life.” (47:08, Ben)

7. K. Michelle’s Twitter Rants & Housewife Feuding (51:43–58:14)

• Old tweets resurface as Cynthia probes who K. Michelle was calling a “bimbo” online; discussion spirals into a “dingbat/bimbo/big-titted woman” naming spree.
• Meanwhile, Pinky accuses Phaedra of “eating meat” (a vegan cardinal sin) and “eating dead people at the morgue” (??), resulting in total confusion for the hosts:

  "I don’t trust a lawyer who eats dead people." (57:48, Pinky via Ben)

8. Angela’s Modest Flip—The Search for Redemption (66:32–71:54)

• Angela tours a rundown house she's secretly buying and aims for a “one win” to overcome last year’s multimillion-dollar losses and personal grief.

  “With the losses that we had in 2024, I just feel like I can close that chapter if I had just one win. One win.” (71:20, Angela via Ben)

9. Date Nights, Support Systems, & Emotional Honesty (77:41–79:44)

• Pinky tries to open up to Derek on date night but falls short of admitting her financial woes.

  “She’s like, yeah, I’m not ready to tell him.” (79:38, Ben)

• Ronnie: “There’s never a better time. Tell him right now. Oh, my God.” (79:36, Ronnie)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Botox at a Taco Stand:

  “Never get your Botox at a taco stand. That is my advice to you guys.” (04:44, Ronnie)

• Hot Pocket Vagina Monologue:

  “That was Ben’s vagina monologue that you just got.” (25:12, Ben)

• Ass-Shaped Rum Bottle Critique:

  “No one wants Asrum. ...Do you want my ass drink? No, I don’t want to drink from your ass. It’s just weird.” (35:02, Ben)

• Drew’s Tall Tales:

  “She’s just that friend who’s always lying ...in her life, she’s got an Oscar, and she’s an EGOT winner in her head.” (16:07, Ronnie)

• K. Michelle’s Done-ism:

  “Normally with me, if you blame me one time, it’s a wrap for you and I’m done.” (83:34, K. Michelle)

• Lawyer Cannibal Accusations:

  “I won’t trust a lawyer who eats dead people.” (57:24, Pinky via Ben)

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Important Timestamps for Key Segments

• K. Michelle’s Hospital Recovery: 04:02–09:08
• Angela’s Real Estate Confessional: 11:45–13:43
• Shamia’s Rum Pitch and Marital Argument: 30:40–38:35, 74:51–77:41
• Nail Salon Miscarriage Drama: 21:54–30:15
• Group Discussion of “Hot Pockets”: 23:13–25:44
• Pinky’s Bankruptcy Breakdown: 43:20–49:38
• Bimbo/Dingbat Twitter Reads: 51:43–58:14
• Angela’s House Tour & Redemption Talk: 66:32–71:54
• Pinky and Derek’s Date Night Emotional Moment: 77:41–79:44
• K. Michelle and Portia Confrontation/Resolution: 79:46–83:54

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Noteworthy Housewife Dynamics

• K. Michelle & Portia: Tense, emotional, and unresolved undercurrents.
• Pinky & Derek: Supportive but secret-laden.
• Angela: Driven to prove herself, resistant to learning from loss.
• Shamia: Ambitious but unable to secure spousal or business support.
• Drew: Professional and personal instability as a storyline driver.

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Tone and Language

Ben and Ronnie bring relentless wit, rapid-fire quips, and a balance of affectionate ribbing with genuine concern for housewives’ health and business blunders. Vocal affectations, silly analogies, and running gags make the recap as entertaining as the show itself.

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Conclusion

This episode captures the absurd, chaotic, and sometimes surprisingly moving world of Atlanta’s Housewives, filtered through Ben and Ronnie’s comedic lens. If you missed the TV episode, this recap supplies all the drama, punchlines, and piping-hot (pocket) takes on everything from risky business to even riskier personal relationships.

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For bonus episodes, video recaps, and exclusive access, check out Watch What Crappens on Patreon.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[C]

Get started with a free Pura 4 diffuser when you subscribe to 2 cents monthly for six months. Shop now at pura.com. Well hello and welcome to Watch what Cruppens. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the very pink hooded Ronnie. Karen. How are you? Ronnie?

[B]

Well, hello. I'm okay. I went and got some Botox and I was like, give it to me severe because the middle of my face is still always moving like my little angry 11s. Look what she did to my face. I look like I've been split down the middle of my forehead. I look like I've got like the Satan insignia. What the hell? It's like a.

[C]

Did you do that? Did you do that today?

[B]

No. After work on Friday I went and I still look crazy. I've looked crazy all weekend. I don't know if that's ever going to go away. It's not really moving though. But I mean, geez, you have to slice me open like gut me like a fish.

[C]

I never would have noticed if you didn't point it out. If you want to see Ronnie's interesting Botox patterns, come to patreon.com watcher crappins and you can watch with crappins on demand if you it on that level. We also do bonus episodes. This week's bonus episode, we are recapping last week's Survivor. We're not going to record that until tomorrow night actually because of us, our weird scheduling. So it'll just get you all fired up for the next Survivor.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's that's it. We've got crappy hour tonight at 5:30 West coast time and we have Amazon live this afternoon at 1:30. So we are excited. Come join us for all of the things today we are talking about Atlanta. Ronnie, what say you?

[B]

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 17 Episode 3 Rum Ruptures and Redemption Ruptures Wow.

[C]

So K Michelle, where we last? I'm like wow, that's pretty visceral. Where we last?

[B]

Well what are they going to call it? Exploding Asses and Rum.

[C]

Bb bbl. BB Help. No, I don't even remember what I named this episode. I called it something I was gonna call it. Everything's Gonna be okay Michelle. But I think the last time I named it I called it. I did another okay pun I think I called it. It's not right but it's okay Michelle. I'm just gonna do a lot of I'm just do okay puns until then

[B]

when they have a western party you

[C]

can call it okay Michelle.

[B]

Okay Michelle Corral or whatever.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that wasn't under consideration. So K. Michelle is post surgery for her infected BBL and she's in the hospital bed and she was, she's really going through it because there's been a lot and she had to go through that to go through. There's a big surgery, infected tissue. It's very scary. And she was saying how she got it's because she had got injections that involved silicone. Don't do this people. Let this be a learning lesson from K. Michelle. Don't ever get illegal injections whether it's in your butt or elsewhere.

[B]

It's just more illegal ones apparently. Are you gonna walk around with Satan on your forehead like me today? I wish I had seen this episode before I went and did that and I was like, well now I get the warning now. Never get your Botox at a taco stand. That is my advice to you guys. The lesson came a little late for me.

[C]

I just realized it says Botacos, not Botox.

[B]

Hi, I'm Bo. You want a taco? Like sure. In my face? He's like, sure, I'll put it in your forehead. Get over here, little rascal.

[C]

Rania's forehead is now filled with 2% salsa verde.

[B]

So K. Michelle is saying the hardest thing was learning that she will never get that silicone out of her body. It will be forever in her and she will never be fully healed. And it's sad because you know, like no one wants especially her because like we really like her. She's new. She hasn't done anything to piss us off, and, like, we really like her. So to be like, this will never be fixed is super sad. But then I have to remember we're talking about silicone. It's like, okay, you know, it's like a housewives thing. Like, I will never be free of all the shit that I keep putting in my body.

[C]

Put some more in there.

[D]

Get some more in there.

[B]

It's like, she didn't say, I'm not. She didn't say, I'm stopping this forever. She just said, well, shit. I mean, they're still stuck in me. What do I do?

[C]

The. The amount of irreversible things that these people do to each other. I mean, whether it's injections, whether it's shaving things down, whether it's removing things, or whether it's just, you know, you know, inflicting trauma on to each other. Like, she doesn't have to. She's in good company. Okay? That's the point. Yeah, yeah, she will. You know, she is. She's got that sil. The silicone, dude. I wonder, is this going to be a thing that she will have to deal with the rest of her life is like, the risk of infection because she has silicone injected into her. Do you know anything about this?

[B]

I guess. No. I don't know. The roaming silicone. I don't know. The only time I've seen it is when Yolanda's. Yolanda thought she had whatever disease, and, well, that was the chronic Lyme, which, you know, a lot of people. Whatever. I don't want to get into that again all these years later. Jesus, my head will explode. But a lot of it ended up being that she had a leaky boob that she just hadn't fixed. And so there was, like, silicone all over the place. I mean, why aren't we filling ourselves with healthy things? I don't know. Can't they make fish oil into boobs? Something like, if it leaks, then you just have really good skin for a while?

[C]

Yeah. I just started to look up the. I just started to look up the risks of illegal silicone injections, and I'm just going to tell everyone, don't do this. It's terrible. Oh, my goodness. It does so many terrible things to your body because it can leak and everything. Oof. Oof. That's really bad. Oh, I hope that she's gonna be okay. There's.

[B]

Oh, she'll be okay. She'll be fine.

[C]

She'll be fine. She's A trooper. She's fine.

[B]

And if not, she's a country singer now. So you just write music about it.

[D]

Like, my ass. My ass is grass.

[B]

I mean, you just write something about it, you know?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't ever leave me. It'll never leave me. Illegal silicone.

[C]

Like a rock. That's how hard my booty is. Like a rock.

[B]

She'll find a way.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So she's like, portia been calling to me over here. She sent me the nicest message. And then Cynthia sent me encouraging words to me. It came by really loud.

[C]

Sh.

[B]

Just comes. It's me, Shamia. So glad to see you. Kelly and Shamia together.

[C]

Shut the clock.

[B]

So now her doctor comes in, and then the most important doctors come in. The glam team. Full on glam team in the hospital because it's Real Housewives, and that's. That's how we do.

[C]

Yeah, Bay. And she's like, no.

[E]

Although I've been going through a lot, I cannot let this help me down. I'm ready to hit the ground running. The full glam team is in the hospital because I don't look like I've been going through, and I never will. Okay. It's one thing to look like a struggle, honey, and it ain't me and anything in me.

[C]

So she's gonna look good no matter what. So Drew. Meanwhile, we go to Angela's house, and Drew goes over and Drew Amari is there, by the way, to greet her. And Angela's saying that she's happy that Amari is staying with her and she's just going to be staying there until she gets. Goes back to college and all that stuff.

[B]

Angela is so funny to me. She's like, it's so good to have her back, you know, such a reset after her not telling me she was married. Like, what I know.

[C]

I was about to say, I totally forgot about that storyline.

[B]

The plots on the show are so funny. I know. Andrea's like, well, that had to be tough. She's like, oh, yeah, yeah. She's like, but we're reconnecting now. I'm just trying to protect her. And so then we start talking about Drew.

[C]

Yeah, she's acting.

[B]

Yeah, she's an actor, you guys. Yeah, she's paying the bills. Not all of them, as we know from reading. From reading the news lately. Yeah, the news was saying that Drew is claiming to make $12,000 a month.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

How's that possible?

[C]

Well, maybe she has losses, but maybe that's. I always forget gross. And that Whatever it is, the smaller number. It's like she may. Maybe she. She netted. I don't remember. I'm so sorry to the people listening that you're probably. I'm not even. I'm not even going to go down this path because I know I'm annoying so many people that I can't remember.

[B]

Well, gross is the big amount, and net is the smaller amount. Right. Because you get a bunch of fish, and then you net some of them, and some of them swim them away.

[C]

Okay, great. So maybe she netted 12,000. So she makes.

[B]

No, I think she. I think she's saying she makes 12. Like, she gets 12,000, and that's why she can't pay her bills. But you're right. I don't know if it's net or gross. I don't know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't ask. TMZ doesn't ask that.

[C]

We'll have to start watching Run to make sure she gets those royalties, even though we know. Even though it's been spoiled.

[B]

So.

[C]

But she's saying. Yeah, she's just acting a lot, you know, and she's, like, saying, have the balance of motherhood and working. It's more. It's just more than a notion. And we see a scene with her and her kids, and her daughter's crying because Drew has to go off on another shoot, which is really sad. And her son is. Her son is now, like, growing up, and he's getting big, and his voice is dropped. And I'm like, every time this happens on Bravo, I'm like, the time goes by so fast.

[B]

So anyway, so Angela's talking about her foreclosures, and she's. She's getting another house to try again. And Drew's like, angela is a serial entrepreneur.

[D]

She's the serial real estate guru, no

[B]

matter if she lost money in all of her houses. And then we see a flashback to the reunion where Angela's saying that she got foreclosures on all of her properties. And she was like, you know what? I'm just gonna walk away.

[C]

Yeah. So Angela tells us something that sounds great. She says, I lost approximately 2 million in real estate and 2 million of my own money. And I feel like I learned so much that I didn't want to stop investing in real estate. When I. When she said that, I thought she actually said, I learned so much that I want to stop investing in real estate. Meaning that I learned that this was really hard, and I shouldn't be doing this. And I just lost $2 million and then it became very apparent to me that, no, she actually wants to go back in. And I'm like, oh, she's chasing it now. She's chasing the dragon. She wants to get that sale because

[B]

chasing that foreclosure high, once you get a foreclosure, man, it becomes addictive. You want another foreclosure and another foreclosure, especially when you have foreclosures at 4 foreclosures at the same time. I mean, you're getting letters from so many people. It's like, wow, I missed the attention I got from all those foreclosures.

[D]

People just like, angela, Angela, can I get your signature? Angela? Angela.

[B]

So everybody needed me. I need that. I need that back in my life.

[C]

I know Kyle Richards better watch out. Angela's gonna start coming for her brand soon. Be like, I need to get something that's failing. Please, please give me Kyle by Shahadi. Or is Kyle by Aileen, too still available?

[B]

So if at first you don't succeed,

[D]

buy another house and lose it.

[B]

And so Angela's like, well, this time it's going to make a profit. I don't even care if it's a dollar, because that is a profit.

[C]

Yeah, Well, I think that she learned the lesson, which is don't do four flips at once. Just do one. And so that's what she will be doing. And then we hear Avon is, like, yelling at his Xbox. He's making noise up there and just says, like, undistinguishable. So Angela's like, girl, so what are you. What are we doing for Drew? Okay. Because I know we met Black on the phone. Drew's like, oh, you want to know if me and Black are coupled up? That's. You want to make him my man, My man, my man. Well, it's not. He is not that. We. We're still working on getting him to wear a shirt in a restaurant. So we're not. We're not that. My man, my man, my man. Space yet.

[B]

When we finally met Black, I was cracking up, like, yep, that's who you want raising your children right there. Black coming in, like, shirtless to a restaurant with a big diamond blk. I was like, are you serving the water? We need to work on our branding here, sir. So she's like, no, we're just friends.

[D]

You know, we're just friends, and we're just going through things together.

[B]

And Angela's saying in a flashback, is he a smack you on your ass, friend? And Drew says, well, he's in town, and we're gonna hang out. They have. They're gonna have a date night. But definition's like, what? Drew's like, what's the definition of a date?

[D]

Is it a social or romantic appointment or engagement?

[C]

And Angela's like, oh, a romantic appointment? She's like, it's not romantic. And so Angela's like, who? She. Who are you lying to? Okay, she's getting that D. So, yeah, Drew is just trying to sell us on that. And we know it's romantic. I know. But she can't say it, basically, because she's going through this divorce. That's what I believe. These, you know, these guys that prolong the divorces are terrible because they really get in the way of us having, like, normal content on these shows. I mean, Kenya Moore, she basically ruined her villainous brand because she had to be on best behavior during her prolonged custody battle with Mark. Right? So she had to suddenly become like, a. Like, a lady who lunches. And it's just, like, not what we want. We want. Like, we want.

[B]

It's.

[C]

I get really mad when the people on our screen are not really being themselves, aren't sharing themselves. And I get even angrier when it's because they just have to basically be on best behavior for the courts. That drives me nuts.

[B]

Well, that's true. But we also have to remember that Drew's just a big, live face, and she lies constantly and has always lied constantly. So it's hard to kind of listen to Drew because she's ridiculous, but not in, like, an offensive way. I always find her. I always find she's just that friend who's always lying. You're like, we have a friend who's always telling us, oh, you guys, I sold a show. I just sold a show. I sold the best show. It's gonna be starring me. It's gonna take place here. I'm so excited. We go out, we celebrate after about the fifth show we never saw. I mean, at some point, your friends are gonna be like, but we've never seen any of these shows, and that has happened to us with this friend, and we still just love it, because we know she's gonna lie. Every time you go out with her, she's just gonna tell you some crazy lie. And, like, she believes it, and she is living her best life. I mean, in her life, she's got an Oscar, and she's an EGOT winner in her.

[C]

But once in a while, her lies come true. And you're like, so. You just never know which one. It's like, that it's like that psychology experiment where like, if you like if the, if the little rat is hitting the hits the lever and a pellet comes out. If it' if it knows when the pellet comes out, it only it never hits the lever because just waits for the pellet. If it doesn't like, if it thinks that there's no if no pellets ever come out, it never hits it. But if the pellets come out at random times, the rat just sits there all day and hits, hits the lever. So with the pellet comes out never knowing when, because like, you just never know when it's going to hit. And that's kind of like with her it's like, wait, this one came true. And so you're like, I need to go back for more. You know, that's true.

[B]

Delusion is actually a skill we've learned. And so. And Drew has it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[C]

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[B]

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[C]

Now, my aesthet, or at least my attempted aesthetic, is mid century modern. I don't always stick the landing, but that's why I go to Wayfair because it actually really helps me get there because sometimes I'm bad at curating my own stuff. So that's why you go to some place like Wayfarer and they just have it there for you and just click and buy and then your home looks beautiful.

[B]

It's so easy to find what you need in any style. You just type it in. There's great filters there to, you know, make the results easier to go through, to comb through, find what you need. You can even get someone to come over and put this stuff together. Because that's the worst part of it to me is when you order something that needs to be put together and then it's reliant on Ronnie ability, which is very little, let's be honest. So thanks, Wayfair.

[C]

I feel you. Wayday is the sale to shop the best deals in home. We're talking up to 80% off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.

[B]

Vanderpump Villa's back. And this season it heads to the English countryside at Rosecraft Park, a new playground for luxury, indulgence and plenty of chaos, all under the watchful eye of Lisa Vanderpump.

[C]

New and returning staff, along with fan favorite Stassi Schroeder are living and working together once again. Serving high end guests while navigating friendships, rivalries and temptation behind the scenes.

[B]

And this season comes with a twist. The villa becomes a full blown reality crossover event with guest appearances, Bachelor Love island, the secret lives of Mormon wives, and more, turning every stay into its own unforgettable spectacle.

[C]

So pour yourself something decadent because the drama and the tea will be served.

[B]

The new season of Vanderpump Villa is now streaming on Hulu and it has never been better. So now we go to Sugar Polish nail bar with Portia, Cynthia, Phaedra. They're all getting their nails done. You laughing at sugar Polish?

[C]

No, I was laughing because I was about to say something really self deprecating. I was gonna say it's like, it's like me landing a joke. You know, you never know really when it's gonna happen, but once in a while it's just both of us just

[B]

keep saying random things. Eventually, like some combination of words will please people.

[C]

The amount of bullshit that falls out of my mouth any given moment, I'm like, gotta feel that. Gotta, gotta fill that dead air. Gotta. Let's talk about, you know what? That's the thing about caterpillars. I mean, I'm so fucking sick of caterpillars. How about, oh, you're metamorphosized. How about I'm gonna metamorphosize into having lunch later? I'm like, what am I saying? What am I saying?

[B]

Sugar polish. So ladies are getting mani patties and

[D]

Portia's like, since the divorce, my feet is looking ashy. And we know I can't do that because I'm dating again.

[B]

So she tells us how important toes are to dating because you never know when they're going to propose.

[C]

Yeah, she goes, you know, I go quickly, I move quickly. So they, they all are. They all go to this by they all, I mean, it's Portia, Cynthia, Phaedra. They're getting their nails done and then cast in. He walks K. Michelle in because she's like, yeah, I probably should recover, but I need to make this money. So I'm showing up for the shoot day so they are all sitting there in their private room and they're just getting their feet done and everything. And K. Michelle is talking about how she has, like, a lot of insecurities, but she now has a new love for herself. That's what she sort of gained out of going through this process with her. With her bbl or her fake bbl, I should say.

[B]

And so Phaedra's like, well, if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. So K. Michelle is that girl. I was in the hospital in labor for 72 hours with a full face of makeup. That's just how we do. Nobody wants to see natural. They want to see naturally made up.

[C]

So then they want. They're checking in on K. Michelle. They know that she had this medical issue. And Portia's saying, like, do you want to talk about it? And. And K. Michelle tells a story about how she was on that sofa and she stood up and it was wet. And Portia goes, oh, a miscarriage. And then it's like this record scratch moment. Because K. Michelle, like, that's like, not what she wants to hear. I genuinely think Porsche, on the surface at least from what we see, it looked like she was genuinely trying to be like, oh, no, you know, like, is the. Did this happen? But K. Michelle does not receive it that way.

[B]

Porsche is just so. It's just. She's just so, like, flippant everything. It's like, yeah, it's like. And then I got up and there was this. The. The whole seat was wet.

[D]

And Porsche is like a miscarriage.

[B]

She's like, oh, oh, God.

[D]

Jesus.

[B]

Can we just get our nails done? Why do you have to go there? Jesus.

[C]

Let me tell the story. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So K. Michelle is not happy. She's like.

[E]

I don't know if she was serious and if she's throwing shade or if she's just dumb, but this is just like this. This is the place for you to question me. If I lost a baby, there was no malfunction in my Hot Pocket. It was one. It was one with my ass. And you had them with your titties.

[C]

She says Hot Pocket a lot this episode, and I didn't. I never knew that the vajayjay could be called a Hot Pocket, but I'm all for it. I don't know if that. I wonder how the people at Hot Pocket feel about that, though.

[B]

Well, I mean, I think more people want vajayjay's than Hot Pockets. So I think that, you know, it can only be Good for them. For Hot Pockets, right? I think if this is bad for anybody, it's for vaginas, I'm about to

[C]

say, because my memory of hot. I've not had a Hot Pocket in many years, but my memory is heating it up in college and then being too impatient and just biting into it and always burning the corner of my mouth as the cheese would spread out. Time. Every single. Like, you just don't learn your lesson.

[B]

They burn you. And then when you. It finally cools down, it tastes really weird anyway. And then you're like, but what is this pepperoni? This isn't pepperoni. What is it? It's like a little. It's like little pencil erasers.

[C]

Yeah, the bread's kind of, like, chewy, but also too. It's, like, too thick. Like, really, the best time to eat is when that's blazing hot. That's when it has the best texture. Because by the time it cools down to an appropriate temperature, it's, like, not as good. And then somehow it has the nerve, even though it's scaldingly hot and, like, will burn your face off and you'll look like Freddy Krueger by the time you're done eating it, somehow in the center of it, it has the nerve to be ice cold. You're like, how did that happen? How is it. What is this Game of Thrones? A story of fire and ice. Why is it so frigid in the middle of this? Blazing hot. Burning my skin off. Hot Pocket.

[B]

So that was Ben's experience at prom. Ben had one vagina, and that's how it went.

[C]

That's what turned me gay. I was like, oh, Hot Pockets are vaginas. Sign me up. Sign me up for the men.

[B]

That was Ben's vagina monologue that you just got.

[C]

That was. Yeah.

[B]

So hot.

[D]

Then you finally get in there, it's

[B]

frigid, and then the cheese sucks. I'm outta here.

[C]

Hot Pocket.

[B]

Yeah. She says Hot Pockets a lot. And Portia's like, well, what color was the liquid?

[D]

Was it blood or clear? And she's like, well, it wasn't red, so it's not like that.

[B]

And Cynthia's okay. Just some fluid. She was just saying just some fluid.

[C]

Thank you, Dr. Cynthia. Guys, don't worry.

[D]

Was it a Diet Coke? Slurpee? What was it?

[B]

Okay, it was fluid.

[D]

It was fluid. Okay, okay.

[B]

So was it fluid, like your water broke? She's like, oh, my God.

[D]

Guys, the wound was open from one of my surgeries, okay? Oh, yeah. That happened to Me, I had to go to the doctor because I had a suture come out and I wasn't bleeding, so. So yours was open. You didn't see anything.

[C]

Let her tell the story, okay? She's not saying that this is happening right now. You don't have to diagnose her. She already went to the hospital. She'll tell you what happened.

[B]

Was it like a Curie?

[E]

What's her cancer?

[B]

Is it like a Curie? Was it like a Keurig machine? No. Was it.

[C]

So, like, nail polish, Nail polish remover, acetate, acetone, lotion. They're just playing celebrity with liquids now over the weekend. And I had to. I had to be Mary J. Blige, and it was really difficult. Just want to say, if you ever have to do express Mary J. Blige in charades form, good luck, because it was really, really hard.

[B]

Really? Why you couldn't sing?

[C]

Well, because in celebrity, there's three stages, and the first stage is like a pyramid where you can say, okay, she has a song called no More Drama. You go, Mary J. Blige. And the second stage can only say one word, so you say drama. But the third stage is only charades and really trying to express. I. I just kept on crossing my arms like this to express, like, no more. No more Drama. And then I'd sing. It's really hard, guys. I don't. I've been through a lot.

[B]

That was basically your butt exploding.

[C]

It was a lot of fluid.

[B]

That was Ben's version. So they're like, well, at least you're still hot. Oh, praise God, you're okay. And they're like, yeah, you look great.

[D]

Don't worry.

[B]

And Cynthia's like, now, no matter what we're going through, we can be at each other's throats, but then something happens and we all come together. Cynthia, are you just pulling out lines that you say every season? Like, why are you even saying that? None of you are fighting.

[C]

Just some fluid. Just some fluid. By the way, importantly, is a sisterhood,

[B]

a sisterhood of fluid things.

[C]

K. Michelle, by the way, she is annoyed at Portia because she says, portia

[E]

knows exactly what's been going on with me, and we've been talking, and just as I know that her boobs are not healing as she would like them to, like, why are you busting out saying this?

[C]

So there's an added context of K. Michelle saying, like, you know, I'm not pregnant, and, you know, I'm dealing with that. So why are you saying, is it a miscarriage? Because you know, like, there's nothing in my hot pocket. Right. So that's why she's, I think, really mad, because it's. To her, she's taking it like, oh, Porsche is kind of like rubbing salt in the wounds. Which I don't really think Portia was doing that. Like, maybe it wasn't the, like, the, you know. You know, talking about miscarriages is a very fraught subject. There's a lot of sensitivity and, like, people have a lot of PTSD around those. So, like, maybe don't just, like, just, wow, say that. But I don't think that Portia was trying to start shit over something like this.

[B]

I don't either. But K. Michelle also has sensitivities from last time she was on tv. I mean, as she said in the first episode, she's like, you know, I've been traumatized by women. I've been in one of these groups, and these women ripped me apart, and they did nothing but rip me down and tear me down, and I'm not having it again. And so she knows that she's in that environment again. And so I think she's looking at the stones. Yeah. Being like, is she start. Is fucking Portia starting with me already? Because I'll take her down. And Portia's like, no, I was just. I was just saying.

[C]

So K. Michelle's asking about the waffles. The waffle. The grand opening. And phage was like, oh, well, it went good. You know, Cynthia and I, we went. And I'm really proud of her. And K. Michelle's like, but you didn't go, Portia? Portia's like, no. She's like, yeah, you know. Well, remember.

[E]

Remember when Kelly and I remember, we had a conversation? I remember how it got uncomfortable. Well, then after that, she went to Angela and told her that she basically called me a. She's. And then, you know, she. So I sent her some flowers, and she landed, you know, a whack read.

[C]

And so then we see a flashback of Kelly saying, broken flowers from a broken person. Lady, you're s. Waffles.

[B]

And Porsche's like, yeah. And then she called me a. Behind my back because, you know, I said she was dating a married man or whatever. And so Cynthia's like, okay, K. Michelle, now, do you think that maybe there was some truth to that and that's why she was like that? And she's like, I don't know what

[D]

that woman is doing with her Hot pocket.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

Ask me about that lady's hot Pocket.

[B]

And Cynthia goes, wait, what is a Hot Pocket? It's like, oh, God, Cynthia, come on.

[C]

She's like, no, I've never even heard of the concept. Like, well, it's like, you don't know what a Hot Pocket is.

[E]

They're like, it's your vagina, Cynthia.

[C]

She's like, oh, so I've got a Hot Pocket. Why do they have them in the frozen section? Oh, God. We really have to explain a lot to her.

[B]

So now Shamia is with her husband and two kids walking to school, and she's like, oh, our family's just doing wonderful. Shia's big. She's in first grade. She goes over the family thing, and she's. Then they get rid of. Of the kids, and she's just talking to the husband, and she's like, so I know we haven't had much time to talk since I got back from Grenada, but, you know, I definitely told him I'm in. He's like, oh, okay. Well, how do you feel about it? You know, me partnering with the rum company? And he's like, crickets.

[C]

Crickets.

[B]

I mean, it's fine. You're just gonna have to put some work into that. So he's not happy about this. To find out she knew he wasn't happy about it. Then she went to Grenada and did it anyway. And now she's waiting until they get back on TV to drop this information on him, hoping that, I don't know, maybe he'll fake it and act like he's happy. And we're learning very quickly, this man's not going to fake it.

[C]

Yeah, this is a. This is. This man's a businessman. And we see him. We see a flashback of him being on the call, speaking to the people at this rum company, and he's asking all these questions, like, how much is the cost per bottle? What's the distribution? What the retail price? How many employees do you have? He's asking us questions, and he's so unimpressed. I mean, he literally is like, yeah, yeah, this can be an international thing. And, like, you know, it's just. It's gonna be. It's gonna require too much. Much of an investment. He basically shuts them all down and then, like, walks away. And she was like, okay, great. That was my storyline for the season, Gerald. So we're gonna have to walk some of that back and sell that rum.

[B]

Yeah. And she's like, so then after that call, I had to get my ass on a plane, fly over there, and convince them that I love you guys,

[D]

I love the Lord. Can you hear me cry?

[B]

So, Shamia, why are you trying so hard for something that. Listen to the guy who's got the money? You know, I don't. Obviously he's willing to invest in you and help you out, but I don't know, I would. Listen.

[C]

Isn't there someone locally that you could work with? You know, I mean, look, we know it's not going to go anywhere. A housewife starting a booze company. It's, it hasn't really taken off since Bethany. Let's be honest, everyone. It's talking about chasing the dragon, a literal dragon. It's people trying to do the Bethany storyline and like God bless Shamia. But this is.

[B]

Well, look this up. Cracking up. I was cracking up because I looked up Shamia's liquor company peach because I was like, peach rum. So I looked it up and it's called Rum Bum and the bottle is shaped like her ass. So I'm more in after knowing all of that. Did we already know that it was shaped like her ass? Because I don't think I knew that, but I think that's kind of amazing. I want ass shaped rum.

[C]

Will there be silicone injected into it?

[B]

How is it going to fit on the shelves with all the other bottles?

[C]

Remember that drink from like 2000 or like 1998, that awful drink that was like beverage but they had like, had like little gelatin balls in it? Had those.

[B]

Oh, remember that one?

[C]

Oh, what was that, what was that terrible, terrible concept that someone got the money for, got it onto shelves and actually tried to make it a thing in America? That awful, awful beverage. That's what I'm envisioning here. I've honestly, if I'm getting rum, I'm not. This is, this is so unappetizing to me. I mean, I'm not a big peach fan as it is. So like peach rum is really unappetizing. And then the bottle in the shape of her ass. It's sort of, I guess like a novelty bachelorette parties or whatever. But like lady, like, do you want to be taken seriously in this endeavor?

[B]

No one wants Asram.

[C]

No, no one wants as from. No one wants rum that tastes like a. I think that kind of like flavored liquors are just kind of also very passe.

[B]

I mean, that's hard to sell as it is, right? Like, you know, like, oh, it's a crazy flavored rum. Well, I don't know that peach is that crazy. Well, apparently it is because they're like, we find out later. They're like, yeah, we don't have peaches here, but it's not a natural combo. Yeah, see, that's weird enough, but then to try and sell it as your ass. Like, do you want my ass drink? No, I don't want to drink from your ass. It's just weird.

[C]

Who.

[B]

Who's helping you with this branding? Listen to your husband on this one.

[C]

I understand on some level, there's like, this idea of, like, ooh, this bottle that's, like, showcasing the beautiful form of a woman's butt, right? Like, this beautiful peach shape. This is God's creation, more or less. And this, you know, like, oh, let's celebrate this. The peach. And especially if you're like, in Atlanta, the peaches has so much significance and yada, yada. Y. I understand that, but I still think it's, like, very niche. It's a niche peach. And I just think that, like, this seems like something that was, like, a great idea. Teshamia, but, like, is not a. She didn't do a consideration of, like, maybe what the market.

[B]

The rest of the world.

[C]

Yeah, like, what are you gonna. What are you gonna put in your p. I mean, I guess you could have. It's like, you know what? Like, maybe it'll be like a fad. Like, Sweet Tea vodka was here for a moment, and you'd mix it with lemonade, and it was honestly delicious. And I would still have it. But beyond that, like, what do you use the Sweet tea Vodka for? Like, there's really only one drink you can make with it.

[B]

What do you use? Yeah. Yeah. This is not. This isn't going to work. I'm so sorry, but rum ass, Nobody wants that. So now she's like, you know, you know what, honey, this could be successful as your H Vac is. No, Shamia. No one needs. No one needs as rumors to cool them off in the summer. You know what's always going to happen? Summer?

[C]

Yeah. It's like, oh, the Atlanta airport needs as much peach rum as it does H Vacs.

[B]

But it's also, like, a bizarre thing to try and compete with. Like, honey, my business is going to be as needed as your business. Like, listen, don't marry a Kabillionaire and then try to compete with the cabillionaire. I know that, like, there's got to be something in you that's like, well, I want to. I want to make my own. I want to be my own person, and I don't want to just be known as this person's wife or this Person's spouse. I get that, but you're already a real housewife. I'm not saying don't do anything. I'm just saying don't do things with the. Because she's always competing, you know, it's like, now she's got this husband and he's more successful, so she wants to, like, prove herself worthy of him. She's got Portia, who. Portia was always more successful and famous, and so Shamia wanted to be as important as her. Shamia, you just need to be yourself. Okay? I just be you, Shamia, just be you.

[C]

I don't personally think that she's trying to compete with her husband. Even though she made that comment, I think she's kind of like, oh, he's given. He's put a lot of money into my singing career, it's not exactly taking off. I feel kind of bad. I feel like I gotta do something, and I'm on this show. I need a storyline, and maybe I can be. I need to find success. I think that she probably is like, I have not done the things that I wanted to do in life. I need to find success some way. So this is. This will be what it is. My sparkling personality will sell, move lots and lots of these bottles of rum. And you know what? I want her, Shamir, to have success. And I actually really agree with you that she is enough. Because before, when she was a friend of, she was just herself. And, like, I think we all loved Shamia. And now that she's become a housewife, she's become like the Anne Hathaway of housewives. And, like, it's just like, too. It's like, too much. But I just don't feel like this is it. And I want to support her, but this is just not the way forward for me. For. I feel like at this juncture, I'm gonna say, it's a pass for me. Dog on the piece.

[B]

Yeah. And she says, you know, I mean, you do so much. I just want to be able to retire us, you know? God, it's always wondering, when are people gonna need air conditioning? You know, they're not always gonna need it, but they're always gonna need rum, you know, he's like, he's just not saying anything. So she says, yeah, he wants me to have something of my own, but he wants me to have something. Something that would be successful. And he doesn't believe in this business venture, but I'm all in. I feel like it's worth the risk. It's not.

[C]

It's not worth the risk.

[B]

It's not. So she's like, so what do you think about getting this rum over in Kenya? And he's like, they drink whiskey in Kenya. They don't drink rum. She's like, okay, well, you might have to stop drinking whiskey. Okay, we're just going to change Kenya.

[D]

How about that?

[B]

The next goal, I'm gonna put that on my to do list. Change Kenya. Okay, we can do this, honey. We can do it. He's like, please.

[C]

It's called kill me research.

[B]

Just push me out into the road and let me be run over, please.

[C]

You know what sounds like a great idea is taking this company that's already international and then like being like, let's target Kenya. And I'm sure those shipping costs will be really cheap. Really cheap. From Grenada to Kenya. Oh, dear. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

[B]

My favorite place in the world. The whole entire world. And I've traveled quite a bit the past couple of years, but my favorite place is still my bed. I love my bed. Sleep is so important to me. I just love sleep. It's like the best time to be awake is when you're sleeping. And the most important thing to me is a comfortable bed. Duh. The most comfortable bed I found by far is the legend hybrid mattress from Lisa. I love it.

[C]

It's really, really good. This mattress is killing it. You know, it was a top rated hybrid mattress. Cnet.com even said it really lives up to the hype. It's got a breathable cover with a sustainable blend of cotton and bacteria resistant merino wool. It's just so incredibly comfortable.

[B]

Plus, Lisa is committed to eco friendly materials, sustainable manufacturing practices and partners with organizations like Clean Hub and Green Worms to help remove harmful plastic waste from the environment.

[C]

Oh, oh. And this is something care about. Lisa has been awarded best hybrid and best memory foam mattress by New York Times wire cutter, which I put a lot of faith into. And it's also featured by West Elm as their go to mattress partner. Go to Lisa.com for 20 off mattresses plus an extra 50 off with promo code CRAP. And it's exclusive for our listeners.

[B]

That's L E-E-S A.com promo code CRAPPENS for 20 off mattresses plus an Extra 50 off. Support our show and let after checkout

[C]

Lisa.com promo code CRAP INS.

[F]

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[B]

So now let's go to Pinky at the Whitley Agency. Whitley. I wish it was Whitley.

[C]

Me too. I'll let Jasmine Guy be here.

[A]

Please.

[B]

I need Whitley back in my life. I love her. Her. So this is James Walker, Esquire. And Pinky's having trouble with her shoes so she's like taking little steps. And this is the. Now this is another scene. I was like, what the hell? So she is going to file secret bankruptcy so that her husband doesn't find out.

[C]

Yeah, I don't like, why are you doing this? Don't do this. I feel like that's gonna cause like, I don't like, I feel like you should be able to share everything with your husband. And I think that if you're going to embark on personal bankruptcy, you just like, I don't know. I just.

[B]

That affects your husband. That affects your husband and it affects your family. You need to tell your husband. What the hell?

[C]

It's also a big thing in your life. You just need to tell your husband because you need to like you don't. You want the person that you love the most to know what's going on with you and to make them feel like they're on this journey with you. You, like, you don't want him to feel like, you know, oh, I. She doesn't trust me, or she's, like, afraid to show me. But you have to, like. You have to, like. You have to share everything. That's why I always. Before we start the show, I always give Rani a full rundown of, like, how I folded my socks and all sorts of other terrible minutia. That's why I told the story, by the way, about playing Mary J. Blige and in Celebrity, because I need to share.

[B]

I needed to know. If I had heard that from somebody else, I would have been like, are we even friends?

[C]

I couldn't let Ronnie find out any other way. He had to know. No, but for real, though, I think that, yes, it affects his life, but more importantly, I just think, Pinky, don't do this. Don't do this, Pinky.

[B]

Well, she had mentioned that he. When she was going through her worst, he was never there for her. Opening some cheesesteak store, the Cheesesteak Factory. All different flavored cheesesteaks. Do you want a lemon meringue cheesesteak? Do you want a chocolate chip cheesesteak? Now there's a plan. Shamia. There you go. I just gave it to you. That's a freebie. That's a freebie. So he was opening a place or whatever and ignoring Pinky, and so he wasn't really there for her, and that's what she was crying about last week. So, I mean, I get that. Like, maybe that's her reasoning. Like, well, you know, I need to do this alone. But, yeah, and you can't do this in marriage. It was great.

[C]

I think also. Yeah, you can't. I think also there. There probably is an element of, like, oh, my God, I've messed this up so much. I just don't want to burden someone else with. With this. I'm just gonna do it, you know? Like, I'm sure there's. There's that part, but, honey, you are a vegan, so you cannot be beefing with your man. See what I did there? See?

[B]

Listen here. You owe him the Tofurky truth this time to talk to.

[C]

Okay, let's sprinkle some nutritional yeast on this situation, okay? Because this is not the time to be cheesy.

[B]

So anyway, she is crying, and she's like, I'm one of the most prominent

[D]

black women entrepreneurs in the country. So to wake up today and find out.

[B]

And she says over and over that she is like a huge deal. And this is very, this is very big because she doesn't want her fans to be uninspired. And so she goes through what this all is. So she says she was in business and her former CFO took money from the company, she got forced into filing an abc, and now here she is and she's got a super successful business, but she's crumbling on the inside because she had $20 million in debt and now she's thinking it's folding and she can start fresh. But then she gets knocked back down because she's a personal guarantor on. Oh, my God, this was my butthole clenched through all.

[C]

Yeah, that seems not.

[B]

This stressed me out. I'm not. This isn't even my life. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was, I was freaking out.

[C]

And she talks about all these random lawsuits that she knows to deal with. She goes, I've got lawsuits like, I've got underwear. So she says there's one time one of her partners played the, like a, A, A fight at Bar Vegan. I guess there's a place called Bar Vegan. And they did. I guess they didn't pay the, the, whatever you have to pay for because, you know, all those boxing matches and everything or ufc, whatever, they like extort those venues. Like, oh, you want to show our thing at your bar? Well, then you owe us $20 million. And so here. So now they owe a hundred thousand dollars to the promoters of that event. And then she has something. Two million.

[B]

Well, yeah, those fights are. You pay for those fights. You can't just pay for one and then have everybody in the neighborhood come watch it, I guess. Is that what happened? So she's, she thinks she owes him a hundred thousand dollars now because she played the fight. And then there's another lawsuit for almost 2 million because she couldn't use her liquor license because her investors already had a liquor license. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

It just sounds like a lot of, like, mismanagement, which I think is probably hard. Like, if you are someone who's like, I am a vegan chef and I want to, like, I'm making this food, it's so good. And you're like, maybe not business minded, but you're like, you can make good vegan food. And then you get thrown into these situations and then all of a sudden all this mismanagement rises up around you and you have no idea. And then next thing you know, you're in. In Pinky's situation, which really generally sucks. And she keeps on saying, I'm just gonna start fresh. I'm gonna start fresh. But, like, will that really be a. A true option once all this is settled down? Like, you know, business is so hard, and you have to sort of strike when the lightning is. When the. When the iron's hot. When the lightning is hot.

[B]

You're like, I just. Ow.

[E]

Ow.

[B]

I just hit lightning.

[D]

Oh, God.

[B]

Do not punch lightning.

[D]

All right, guys.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

It turns out it was a Hot Pocket. I got the cold part of it.

[B]

Cynthia's like, get your hand out of my vagina. Why was someone punching my vagina?

[C]

Was there fluid? Did the lightning leave fluid? Anyway, the point is that she's in a really bad place, and she is, like, crying because it sucks. Sucks, and it's hard, but she's gonna, like, come back and she feels like. She's like, she can't fail. She's. She's like, I'm a black woman, so it's a big responsibility. Responsibility to be the best. And people said that, like, they, you know, you couldn't build a hundred million dollar brand. And I did. And so she's just gonna try to start over. Yikes.

[B]

So then we go to Barney's for breakfast. K. Michelle is meeting with Cynthia, and Cynthia is like, well, I've just wanted to have some one on one time. So we have some time before Pinky gets here. Do you have a Hot Pocket? Do I have a Hot Pocket?

[C]

Will there be Hot Pockets? I'm still confused. Is this an actual thing that we eat or is it just a metaphor?

[B]

I went to the store and I got a Hot Pocket, and then I put it in the microwave. I got very offended that you guys were calling my vagina Hot Pocket.

[C]

I did like that the Hot Pocket came with a little dress.

[E]

That's not a dress.

[C]

It's just. It's microwavable little sleeve. He goes in. Trust to me, fashion is fashion.

[B]

Did not taste good.

[C]

Did not taste good.

[E]

You're supposed to take that part off Cynthia.

[B]

So we find out that K. Michelle and Pinky are sorority sisters. They're Deltas. Okay? So K. Michelle's like, I am 7

[D]

Delta Alpha, Florida, A and M. And

[B]

we see her a video of her during her sorority days dancing. And Pinky Cole is Ms. Clark Atlanta University, and they are the queen of their hbcu.

[C]

That's right. So they order some drinks, and K. Michelle is basically like, I have been through a lot, so I mean, I am gonna. I'm gonna drink, okay? After my ass popping out of my

[E]

back, she's like, I feel like I didn't deserve that. Or I feel like I do deserve the drink. It didn't deserve my ass popping on my back.

[C]

So they're happy.

[B]

It's like, I've been activated. Maybe you've heard of 50 synth? Like, oh, geez, God, we just met you, we're already sick of this. Okay, fast forward, fast forward. So she's like, speaking of activated, K. Michelle, I saw you were activated on Twitter. And Pinky's like, who's the bimbo? So Cynthia says, imagine this. I'm sitting on my patio, otherwise known as my countertop at Lank Bailey, minding my own business. And I get on my social media and I come across a tweet from K. Michelle. K. Michelle. Almost spilled my tea. So then we see this tweet come up and it's like, it's time to read toxic tweets from K. Michelle.

[C]

So they all start reading them and they're all like in front of a brick wall. Because I guess this is supposed to be like a stand up moment or something. So Porsche's like, I am my own person.

[E]

And I sit there and I smile and clock it, but I'm not about that.

[C]

And then Kelly reads one that goes activated because she says she's activated. And Shamiya's like, not activated, more like activated o'.

[E]

Clock.

[C]

Am I right, everyone?

[D]

Bimbos are the loudest and most confident. Shut your face. She just told me she was in the hospital. Who the hell is she talking about? Is the nurse a bimbo?

[C]

Pedro's like, well, I'm very confident, not that loud, and definitely never a bimbo. So I guess it rules me out. Okay.

[D]

Michelle's like, I've been speaking my mind for over 10 years on Twitter. No one's gonna question me. I'm famous.

[C]

So the. Here are the actual tweets. The first one is, no man is going to tell me what the to do with my body. Try it. Malcolm X. Come out and play.

[B]

And then that's from 2019. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, 2019. Oh, okay. That makes much. I was like, wait a second. This has nothing to do with.

[B]

These are past tweets proving that she's not going to take shit on Twitter.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So the next One is from 2016

[D]

and it says, I'm always in black media for nothing. I wake up to fake pics. Black men who I've never met speaking on trees realize I'm famous.

[E]

Enough.

[C]

So then we're back at. At this lunch, and Cynthia's like, first of all, I hope I'm not the person you were activated against right now. Which would be funny if K. Michelle, like, if Cynthia somehow activated Kate Michelle, like, by not knowing about the Hot Pocket.

[E]

These people didn't even know my joke.

[B]

Did I. Did I say anything wrong? Because. Because I've never been called a bimbo, first of all. Really? And second, she's like, you've never been called a bimbo?

[D]

You ate the rapper on a Hot Pocket. You told me.

[C]

I'm still trying to figure out where the pocket is. Okay? So K. Michelle's like, well, you know,

[E]

I. I had already talked to Portia about what happened and what was going on with me, and then this big dingbat bus ass, they just start laughing

[C]

because she goes to Porsche Dingbat, and

[D]

then she bust out and says, you had a miscarriage. What? Who says that to a woman?

[B]

Pinky's like, yeah, you don't do that. And so she says, at that moment,

[D]

I realized that I was being killied. That big titted lady.

[E]

I didn't even understand until I got.

[C]

I got to get home when she said, I got to get home. I love this woman. So Pinky's like, well, I think you need to have a conversation with her for sure.

[E]

Hey, the big titty woman.

[C]

No, no, Portia.

[E]

Oh, the other big titty woman, but the dingbat one.

[C]

Yes. So she probably doesn't even know that she's a bimbo that you're talking about. Steve goes, okay, well, I've known these ladies for a while, and I'm not saying they're perfect. And everybody has their flaws. A lot of them do dumb stuff like, I don't know, eat Hot Pockets with the cardboard thing still on. I'm not saying who did that, but sometimes people do that. Gotta give them a pass. Okay.

[D]

That was you?

[C]

It was me. It was me.

[B]

But everybody knows that Portia sometimes just speaks before she thinks, honey. And maybe the miscarriage thing was a reach, but I think it was innocent, you know? And so she's like, okay, can I

[D]

ask you a question for real? So, what's up with Phaedra? Cause all she does is giggle.

[B]

Then she's like.

[D]

Like that.

[B]

And then we just cut to Phaedra laughing at the nail salon. And Pinky says, she's too easy. She's too busy eating dead people at the morgue. Morgue. And she goes, what? She goes, yeah, she's too busy eating dead people at the Morgue. What?

[C]

What are they talking about, by the way? I just want to circle back to something real quickly that when Cynthia said, sometimes Portia says things without thinking, do you think that Portia told the producers, if you show the Underground Railroad clip one more time, I'm leaving the show. Because I was like, here it comes, Here it comes. And then it didn't happen. I was like, wait a second.

[B]

So Phaedra, Pinky, she goes, wait, wait,

[D]

what do you mean eating dead people? Is she like that? I mean, she's being so nice.

[B]

And Pinky says, well, Phaedra's telling everybody that I eat meat, so I don't know if she's nice. I'm on the board of PETA, okay? I do a lot of things, like, you can't play with my money like that, okay? If anyone's gonna play with my money, it's me, okay? I will give you $20 million of it, but you do not play with my money.

[C]

I feel like we are already in the middle of a Pinky and Phaedra feud. But they didn't set it up properly. When did Phaedra go around telling everyone that Pinky's eating meat? Well, we see a flashback, and Shamia tells Shamia's with Pinky and Angela, and they're at, like, a hot tub there at Shamia's backyard. And Shmia's like, phaedra said that Pinky's eating meat. I'm like, I feel like we deserve, like, a better setup for this feud than, like, like a half baked flashback to Shamia's hot tub.

[B]

Yeah, I need to know what it was. Was Phaedra saying, well, I don't know if she. Maybe she eats meat sometimes. I don't know. Maybe she's vegan. Maybe she. Who knows what it was? But I need to see it. It's not proof. Showing Shamia in a hot tub, accusing her of it, you know? So now K. Michelle's like, well, I

[D]

mean, you can't trust no lawyer that don't practice the law.

[B]

How dare you? I trust Julia Margulies with my life.

[C]

Even Juliana Margulies, too.

[B]

Juliana Margulies. I should have gone with Christine Baranski because I wouldn't trust Juliana Margulies.

[C]

I know. Trust her. We know what she really is. Yeah, a nurse became a doctor. She's in the medical field. She's not a lawyer.

[B]

Yeah, and Pinky then again goes, well, I won't trust a lawyer that eats dead people. What are you talking about?

[C]

You guys are saying crazy Stuff right now.

[B]

You know, so far, I'm 100% behind K. Michelle. I'm not 100% behind Pinky. I just can't. I'm not, like, hating. I'm not a hater. I just don't really understand what she's talking about ever. Yeah, look.

[C]

What do you mean?

[B]

I don't trust a lawyer who eats dead people.

[C]

I just don't know where that came from. Also, like, why would you not trust Phaedra as a lawyer? You know that she will always be able to secure a bag of cash for you in a parking lot. It's. She's great. So Cynthia is like, well, we went from K. Calling Portia bimbo to Pinky saying that Phaedra's running around town saying that she ate meat. I can't keep up. Phaedra's accountable now. Do we know about this?

[B]

Pinky saying, oh, I have enough shit going on between lawsuits, bankruptcy, my husband, my relationship, and, you know, can I trust these women with my secrets? Can I trust them?

[C]

Can you? Well, the answer is no, by the way. You're on reality tv. You trust no one. So Pinky's saying she. How she went and talked to her bankruptcy attorney, and. And, no, Derek doesn't know. And K. Michelle's like, you done walked

[E]

out of the house this morning carrying all that. You didn't tell him?

[C]

She's like, I did. I just. I just. I just. I don't want to stress him out about that, you know? Listen, we're in a group with cannibals. This is a very, very scary situation. I. I just couldn't add that to the. Sit. Couldn't add that to my pile. Yeah.

[B]

And they're like, oh, my God, you have to tell your husband. And she's like, God, you're making me feel like I cheated on the man. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Sorry. Bankruptcy affects your partner. You have to tell your partner.

[C]

You have to. Okay?

[B]

It's not a question. So now she's saying, there's so much pressure, and she's vulnerable, and, you know, she's tired of being a strong friend all the time. And Cynthia's like, well, you know, sometimes it's important just to be able to say, this is not a bench outside. This is a countertop in my kitchen. And that's okay. And now they're laughing because Cynthia's like, I'm not a mean girl. I love women. And they're like, wait a minute. Why do you love women? Wait a minute. Cynthia, she's like, ah. So they all start laughing. And then Pinky's, like, shaking her boobs at Cynthia and she's like, oh, I guess you guys are getting my ass together now. Wait, These two girls are balls of energy, honey. And I don't know what ball is coming at me next because we're a sisterhood, and these women can be crazy. I don't even think Cynthia knows what season she's in. I think they just sit her down and they're like, cynthia, just say something housewivesy. She's like, yeah, you know what? You can. You can't always count on. You can't always count on things working out, but you can't count on my women friends being crazy.

[C]

Yeah, it's like a lot of evergreen commentary coming from her. So then we go to a Donna restaurant, and now we meet Black. Black, because there was some debate about whether Black was actually just an AI generated boyfriend in a phone. But he is real. So he shows up in like this pleather shirt that's like, open. So he's basically. But like, open with no, no undershirt. He's basically pulling Luke from the Valley, which I also thought that was weird last week when Luke showed up in the Almost the exact same outfit or at least the same style at this frontier party in Santa Clarita. So here's Black in this restaurant, his shirt all the way open. And I'm like, what. What is happening?

[B]

Why are.

[C]

Why is your shirt all the way open? I mean, look, your veneers look great. But, like, the shirt. What is happening here?

[B]

And he shows up in. Wait, how do you. Real Housewives of Atlanta. I'm looking up. I'm looking him up. Black Tatted is making his in person debut on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, appearing as a close friend of Drew, who is Black, known as Black Tatted. He's decided. He's described as a charismatic friend. What does he do? Do we know?

[C]

I know nothing about this person because

[B]

he drives up in like a Ferrari or something. And then he comes in, like you said, just like, bearing all. And then with a big diamond. His name, like, in a big diamond thing across his chest.

[C]

It's giving wannabe influencer. I. This morning I was driving down Melrose Avenue and there was this car that I was like, like, making all this noise. I'm like, lady or sir, whoever it is, I'm still gonna call you lady. It's 8:30 in the morning. Why are you making all this noise? And they. He had like a sticker on the side of his car that was had like the ins. It's like at whatever their name was. And I was like. So I looked at it because I was like, I want to see who this douchebag is. And then you go to their Instagram and they are a douchebag. But I'm like, that's what Black reminds me of. He reminds me of those guys, some of the people who just like drive down Melrose with their Instagram handle or their social media handle on the side of their car, making as much noise as possible possible. And I'm like, I'm like, what are. You're not going to get cast on Love Island? What are you doing here?

[B]

Yeah, I don't know much obviously about Black. I do know that he will invest, he will ask you to invest in his crypto coin during, during your first conversation.

[C]

He is saving up for his cyber truck.

[B]

So he's brought gifts for the kids. Yeah, he's not trustworthy.

[C]

Yeah, I, it's just really, it really came down to that open shirt. I was just like, you're in a restaurant. You're in a restaurant.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Why, why are you doing this? But they, they order some hookah and they just are making small talk where she's like, oh my God, I can't believe you're here. You're my best friend. You're my best friend. You're my best friend. So he's like, I mean, all my money aside, you look like a million bucks. Like, what money do we, do we have? Do we know? Do we know what the money is?

[B]

If you put your money aside, she wouldn't be here. Okay, so let's get to the point. So he's like, are we friends with benefits? And she's like, well, we have intimate moments.

[D]

We cuddle, we snuggle, we hold hands. And I just think that right now it's important for me to put more energy and focus on my kids and this three long divorce journey. It's like, who gets divorced for three years?

[C]

In my rise, by the way, I looked up more about Black Tatted. He is a entrepreneur and he owns something called Black Smoke, which is like a fruit based, tobacco free, nicotine free hookup product. And he gained fame for his dip challenge which reportedly made him $1.4 million in nine hours. So our read on him in many ways was correct. Like he is definitely like a social media guy who, like an influencer, etc. So I guess he has money. He has money challenge.

[B]

Well, that explains why he is ordering hookah. I Guess they're. That's where they're ordering hookah. Yeah. So he's here to publicize his business,

[C]

so there's a whole profile of him in Essence magazine. So, I mean, he's. He's got money. I mean, he's legit. But he definitely presents as just, like, one of these generic influencers who's like. Like. Like acting like they're wealthier. Like, there's so many, by the way, there's so many of these, well, like, influencers that, like, stand by sports cars. You go onto Threads or. Or Twitter, and they stand by a sports car, and they're like, this is my life. And, like, you rented that for the day, you know, and so it's just hard to take any of them seriously. So then when someone comes around who actually has some success, you just immediately doubt it because you're. You're. You're presenting, like, any one of these generic, you know, influencers on social media who's just like. Like, flexing just to get followers. Which is a great segue to say, if you want to follow anyone, you should follow Ronnie and I on Instagram, so that way we, too, can invest in a hookah company someday.

[B]

So he's like, you know, your divorce still isn't finalized. And, you know, you don't give girlfriend material. You give wife, and you're like an investment that somebody else has already invested in. So in order to come full throttle and make an investment, this partner has to get out because I don't share. I'm a boss. Okay, I'm not rushing you or anything. I'm just saying divorce him so we can get married and I can give your children gifts.

[C]

What the hell, Black? Did you not just watch Pinky Cole storyline? You don't want to be the personal guarantor? Like, it's okay to be a co investor.

[B]

Yeah, this is not the episode. We want to talk about investments. Angela's next.

[C]

I know.

[B]

It's like, investment crashing, investments all around us.

[C]

This is literally not how investing works works. You don't watch Shark Tank and say, like, okay, I'm offering you a 100% investment in my company. You can have multiple investors.

[B]

Yeah. So they do this whole like, but we're just friends. Yeah, but we're friends. But we could be more.

[D]

Maybe we could. But we're just friends now.

[B]

We are just friends.

[D]

We're just friends.

[B]

So hookah. Hookah.

[D]

Hookah Smoke.

[B]

Hookah, smoke.

[E]

Black.

[B]

So we go to Angela.

[C]

I say, like, the TLDR on this is that Drew Needs a storyline. Black needs a platform to promote his hookah. And here they are having a date together, pretending like they're best friends.

[B]

Yes. So we've had Portia's fake boyfriend to open the season. Drew's fake boyfriend already on episode 30. Let's see how many fakes we can get going this season. Let's go over to Angela's rental property. She shows up with her daughter and Angela is also going behind her husband's back to do crazy things. And she secretly bought a house.

[C]

The difference, the difference here is I think that Charles is probably fine with it. He's like, if I don't have to hear about it, like if I don't have to deal with you complaining about it, fine, do it behind my back. I'm gonna. I've got to make Brussels sprouts for 500 people right now.

[B]

So does Charles know about this house? I felt like Charles did know this house. Oh yeah, I don't think.

[C]

Did he know?

[B]

I think she does. Yeah, I think she knows, but maybe she just didn't tell Amari or something. Cause it says secret house in our notes. So anyway, they go in and this house isn't great. And Amari's just looking at it like gross. And she's like, why are you looking like that? And she says, well, it's just different from how you usually do your houses. So did you already flip this one or.

[C]

Well, I guess what Charles knows that, that there's a house under contract, but I don't think that he really knows. He hasn't seen, he doesn't know what house it is. And this house is like full of spiders and like there's a tire in the backyard and it's like definitely a, a good contender to be flipped. Etc. So that's the degree of the secrecy.

[B]

So she says that this house is an emotional purchase because she lost her mom and her properties last year. And she believes the house is what the market wants because it's a single family, it's entry level. And so I wanted to use this property to lick my wounds. And we see that this was a $159,000 house, three bedroom, two bath in Decatur. That's cheap as hell.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. I was about to say you're not going to lose a million dollars on that one. But I actually thought this was like a perfectly smart choice. I don't know anything about Decatur, Georgia so I can't talk about the neighborhood. But it's like this is just a, like a single family home. Like it Wasn't like she was trying to do something super big and fancy, which I think, if I remember the places that she was flipping last year, she was trying to sort of do something much bigger, even though they weren't like, enormous houses. It seems like she's going for more of a humble flip this time. And I think that's probably smart, you know, because, you know, not every flip has to be be something that is going to be, you know, an Architectural Digest. You can just make a really nice house for someone to live in and, like, make life better for someone.

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean, it's about making money, but I don't know. Yeah, but like, you know, like, if you buy a. A cheap house in Decatur, you're also not going to sell it for. You're not going to have as much profit selling it. But I see what you mean. Like, she has to practice and get it down.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Like, you don't have to, like, you don't. Like, you don't have to, like, do the big swings. You know, she can have a flip or flop moment. She can have like a Tariq Al Jaleel moment. Is that his last name again? Tarek. Whatever. Tarek moment. Tarek and Christina moment. And just like, work on, like, a small scale and get it right, you know, that's so. It has my blessing, in case anyone wondered. So then Angela, all the.

[B]

Angela's new show, Flop and Floppy.

[C]

Flop and Flop with Tarek. Tarek still shows up and is annoying.

[B]

Yeah. So she's gonna do this house. And Charles has not seen the house. And he knows she's under contract, but that's all he knows. And she's like, you know, there's a big part of me that feels like Charles does not take my business seriously. Well, you know, you do. You four houses were in foreclosure. You know what I mean? It's fair. This is fair. So she's like, but right now, I do have my business, Fangy, which is fans, and she owns a financial consulting company and they still do own real estate, so he wouldn't have gone along with her purchasing the home. So wait, so he doesn't know about the home? I'm so confused by this. Angela has a way of knowing. What are you talking about?

[C]

Not he knows there is a house. He just doesn't know what house it is. So he hasn't seen this house. He hasn't seen that. This is the house with all the spiders in the tire, by the way, Tarek El Moussa. El Moussa was the last name El Musa?

[B]

Yeah, right.

[C]

Yeah. I was like, that didn't sound right. I don't even know where that came from. But so anyway, Amari is like, do you think, do you think this is actually about making money or is this you trying to prove something? And Angela, in the slowest soap opera moment of all times, turns around and goes, goes, damn it, Amari. Yeah.

[B]

It's like, can I just have one win? I'm not shooting with your father today. So somebody doesn't mock me for being a. For all of my scenes.

[C]

She just does melodrama so slowly. And so she's like, with the losses that we had in 2024, I just feel like I can close that chapter if I had just one win. One win. So she's hoping that this will bring closure to all that and also like the closure to losing her mom, you know, because she's really grieving that and everything, but she's also realizing that there just really never will be closure.

[B]

I don't know, like, eat a lot or a stranger or go to Vegas, you know, buying a house. There's just so many ways to get closure. This is a crazy one. So now we go to an office and Shamia is there. We are at Heritage personal injury firm and she's meeting her sister.

[C]

This is where you go if you get injured by a Milano cookie. Heritage personal. Heritage. Why am I saying that? I'm like, are you thinking of Pepper.

[B]

Heritage cookies?

[C]

Remember what I said earlier in the episode? They're not all going to land. They're not all going to land. Especially when you get them completely wrong. Heritage has nothing to do with peppers.

[B]

So she comes in and she hugs a man with a green beard. So you're right, it could still be a cookie company. This one's in a tree now. We're in a tree now.

[C]

This probably is the firm you'd go to if you got injured by a Milano cookie. Like, don't worry, our green bearded lawyers will save you.

[B]

So Shamia tells us, I know what y' all are thinking, but green beard aside, he's. He's not a leprechaun. So

[C]

is this a guy, do you think? Do you think this is like a sweet James of Atlanta? Like, this guy has billboards everywhere and like, his thing is that he has a green beard. He's like, I'll make. I'll get your money back. I've gotten so much money back for people. My, my beard has turned green. And he's like, that's on bus Benches. So, like, that's his thing. Do you think that's probably what's happening here?

[B]

I don't know, but that would be funny if she's calling it. I mean, she is calling a personal injury firm for. To help her with rum contracts, so.

[C]

Yes, that's true, too.

[B]

It is a little bizarre. So she's like, maximilian Booker has really helped me with this rum deal. And since I didn't have the help from Gerald, I had to rely on Max. So that's what happens, Gerald. You don't support the business. She's going on bus benches and getting lawyers to help her with this rum business. So.

[C]

That's right. Yeah.

[B]

In the end, you're going to pay, Gerald. You might as well just help.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I. I'm. I took me a really long. Even though this guy with a green beard was actually not the one who helped her, he just sort of, like, brokered a connection with this other person, and then he sort of walked away at that. Honestly, the moment I see that green beard, I'm walking out of this place of business. I'm sorry.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You know, appearances matter and stuff like that. That's why every time you see a real estate agent, especially around here, there's like, fake teeth, fake lips, fake eyes, fake face, like they look completely crazy. Like, appearances matter, you know?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No one in a green beard, I'll tell you that. So then she's like, I can't wait to have a bottle shaped like my ass, okay? And she stands up and shows her ass, and they're kind of laughing. And Maximilian's like, I am Maximilian, and I'm a personal injury attorney. I work with a guy with a green beard, and even I'm concerned.

[D]

Can we talk about this?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So she goes, hello. I'm giving new meaning to ass shots, right? I'm like, really? The same episode that K. Michelle is sitting here crying. So she goes, my peach rum is gonna be called rum bum. Rum bum. So funny, right? This is. Don't you want to get rum bum? Right. So Shamia's saying, I love Campache and I love the thought of it and, like. Like helping with your libido, you know? And, like, it just would be nice to put, like, my own flavor into it, you know, because I'm born and raised in Atlanta, and I'm like what you would call a sweet peach, but I don't think I saw any peaches when I was in Grenada. And the guy who's. Who's like on the zoom is like, yeah, we don't, we don't have peaches. That's why we don't have peach rum.

[B]

She's like, okay, so we're gonna import the peaches in. They're like, yeah, that could be a challenge. And she goes, okay, it's gonna be a challenge. He goes, yeah, sounds expensive. Expensive. She's like, well, you know, finding out the peaches don't grow on the island of Grenada at all, that kind of threw a wrench in my plans. Never heard of an Internet before or could have googled that. So, God, now I'm gonna have to figure out where to get peach flavoring.

[C]

So you mean to tell me you went all the way down to Grenada to schmooze with these people, but you didn't like ask about how they grow things, what's grown around what the local climate hat can offer, etc. Etc. Etc. You didn't do your research.

[B]

No one's expecting a Jamba Juice. Like need like a fresh juice. You just get some peach flavoring, drop it in there, call it a day.

[C]

Sure, sounds great. That's probably what she will do actually. She's like, I just want to get through all the red tape. Do we need an importer or like, do we have one already? And they're like, yeah, it's just like if we can do that, but we need a distributor and everything. So they have to go talk to talk about like FDA approval and all this stuff.

[B]

She's like, you said the bottles are already FDA approved, right? The FDA is like, have we got approval on that ass bottle yet? Okay, well pass that through.

[C]

Well, we've had some trouble, but luckily with the Trump administration, an ass shaped bottle was greenlit right away. So worked out really well for us.

[B]

Sorry, we're not going to be able to give you approval on that ass shaped bottle. It's leaking. No, that's the other storyline today. I'm sorry, I've been watching too much Atlanta. Gotta stop watching the show while I'm trying to fill out my paperwork.

[C]

So it's gonna cost $30. Like basically her margins are going to be really low on this. And Shami is like, I'm starting to see why Gerald was like, this is too much because right now I am doubting myself. But I'm still so passionate about this new thing that I put together for this season. I'm so passionate for it. So she's like, yeah, I think we have our work cut out for us. And they're like, like, yeah, we're rumming all over the world.

[B]

Oh, gosh. Yeah, this is. This is. This is going to be a failure. Okay, let's go. To top us in cocktails with Pinky and Derek. Date night. So she's like, oh, my gosh, we have a lot of kids, and it's really hard. And, you know, business got us bogged down. We need a prayer night. We need a date night. So she's talking about how they were married for a year. They were about to call it quits. They drove all the way to the courthouse, and then he said, you better not get out of that car. So they got back in the car, and then they started praying, and then they laughed and they kissed and they went home.

[C]

Yeah, it's very rom comy. It's not as. It's very, like, season finale of a show that I probably won't watch. So she says people may say that we rush into our relationship, but it just doesn't feel like that. Like, me and Derek, we got married at 23, and so that was like. Like three years into being together. And I was pregnant at the time, so it's like almost dating after marriage. And I feel like, you know, we just. Okay, we need to cute the violins. Like, that's my best friend, and I just love him so much. The end. I will tell him almost every single thing in my life except the biggest

[B]

thing that's going on. So.

[C]

Yeah. Which she's about to tell him right now anyway. So she's like, well, yeah, I got this. I've got three pending lawsuits, and I've been dealing with for the last three years in silence. And as much as I want to move forward, I just can't move forward. So she's talking about business stuff, and Derek is like, I want to be your support system. Like, you know, you're so strong and you battle alone, and, you know, I just. I never. I would never turn my back on you ever, Ever.

[B]

Yeah. And so it's like, let me help you. Tell me anything you need to tell me right now. She's like, okay, yeah, but, you know, it's not your problem. And he's like, I don't care. I love you. I want to help you. She's like, yeah, I'm not ready to tell him. Yeah, there's never a better time. Tell him right now. Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah. So I guess she doesn't tell my mind.

[B]

No.

[C]

She doesn't tell him next week.

[B]

No. And he totally sets her up to tell him. And it's like, no, not comfortable telling him.

[C]

Yikes.

[B]

So now we go to Virgil's with K. Michelle and Portia, and K. Michelle is telling the waiter, she's like, I

[D]

got this mean lady who's coming to meet me here, so get some whiskey ready.

[B]

So Portia comes in, not knowing what's coming at all.

[D]

She's like, well, I was trying to text you and see how you were doing. She's like, well, I was mad at you. She's why? What's wrong?

[B]

And she's like, scrolling through her phone.

[D]

She goes, are you gonna listen to me? Are you gonna be on that phone?

[E]

Hold on, hold on. Because what is Katie mad about? She's like, well, when I came in. In Saturday, Well, I brought you. Get your nails done. She's like, and when I talked to you about the puddles, you bust out and said, a miscarriage. Like, why would you say that? I didn't know there was anything wrong with your butt. She's like, no, we had talked about it, okay? We had talked about my surgery. She goes like, when you mentioned the surgery, and I didn't know what kind of surgery, and you know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't know that. Like, the only update about you is from Shamia.

[B]

She's like, we're all talking about surgeries all the time. You're on a Real Housewives show. You're gonna have to be a little more specific.

[C]

Yeah, okay. And so K. Michelle's like, but even like. Like, who talks about a miscarriage? Because. Well, I've had several, and I've dealt with infertility issues, and I've also woken up in a puddle of blood, and I've had a miscarriage at the house by myself. Portia's like, listen, like, I've been down this path. It's like, I. Like, don't accuse me of being insensitive.

[B]

So. Yeah, well, she's also like, I woke up. I mean, I woke up in a puddle, and it was from a miscarriage. So that's why I was thinking of him.

[C]

Miscarriage? Yeah.

[B]

You know?

[C]

Yeah. Which I think makes sense. So K. Michelle is like, well, I was caught off guard because I was thinking this was a safe space. And she goes, well, it was. I mean, let's just, like, be clear. It was definitely a safe space. Well, it didn't feel like a safe space because I was so uncomfortable.

[B]

And she's like, well, the last thing I had on my mind is that you were dealing with this, you know, like, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Like, I'm sorry. You took that to be insensitive, but that wasn't my intention. And so Portia's like, I would never

[D]

make a dig about miscarriages because I represent the March of Dimes, and Dimes find it very hard to walk in unison, so I would never come at anybody for that.

[C]

And Kim Michelle's like, well, I don't care if you had the same issues in life. The fact that you take something as sensitive as a miscarriage when you know, I'm trying to have a baby. Your behavior was not. Not appropriate. So K. Michelle's like, you will never

[E]

have to think that I'm not going

[C]

to talk to you about it.

[E]

Even if I act out a certain

[C]

way or something bad.

[E]

I say, I stand back. Like, in the south, we say the

[C]

word and I say bimbo because I was mad at you.

[E]

She's like, oh, I was the bimbo.

[B]

She's like, so wait a minute, that was me.

[D]

She goes, yeah, I said this. Bimbo's all that. And I said that.

[B]

And she goes, girl.

[D]

She goes, I was bothered.

[C]

So Portia's like, wow, bimbo. Bimbo was the most loud. I mean, she's like, that's so country of her. But she's like, but we're gonna have to reel this relationship back, okay? So Porsche is like, I. I am

[E]

a very genuine person, and maybe the represent representation I had of you and me and Kelly probably wasn't the best. She's like, no. Oh, me, that big titted woman.

[C]

Whatever. She said. So K. Michelle says, like, look, I can't. I'm not gonna get in your business. I don't ever want anything that I regret because I'm, you know, I'm a reformed crash out.

[B]

And they laugh, saying, me too. So Portia's like, well, I commend you for today because this is how you start to do some sisterhood.

[C]

Okay?

[B]

Don't, like, let's talk about it. Don't go meet this girl and then say she felt this way. And then this girl, she goes, oh,

[D]

but I did do that. Yeah, I was pissed. I called you a bimbo to everybody already.

[B]

She's like, oh, my God.

[C]

Jeez. So everything seems like it's fine. They laugh at. They laugh. And it seems like it's all, you know, like, hashed out. But K. Michelle is not fine.

[E]

She's like, Portia says that she was coming from a place of concern. This is absolute normally with me, if you blame me one time, it's a wrap for you and I'm done. But I've decided to give her every benefit of the doubt that I can find in every corner.

[C]

Meaning it still is a wrap. It's. There's nothing about it that sounds like you're still gonna give her benefit of the doubt.

[B]

Yeah. So. God, I hope this doesn't become an entire season of fighting about miscarriage intentions, because that's sad.

[C]

It will. It will.

[B]

All right, well, that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Atlanta.

[C]

Thanks, everyone, for being here. And we will catch you on the next episode of Watch what happens. Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

[B]

Our way is the Amber way way.

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of a can and Anthony, please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing strike a pose.

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[G]

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