#3336 RHORI S1E05: Schooner or Later You’re Gonna Be Lyin’

Summary

Watch What Crappens, Episode #3336: “RHORI S1E05: Schooner or Later You’re Gonna Be Lyin’”

Date: April 27, 2026

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Bravo Focus: Real Housewives of Rhode Island (RHORI), Season 1 Episode 5

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Episode Overview

This episode offers Ben and Ronnie’s hilarious and biting recap of Real Housewives of Rhode Island Season 1, Episode 5. The drama pivots around a boat birthday party, complicated friendships, hairdressing influencer etiquette, suspicious husbands, and a mounting cheating scandal. Ben and Ronnie blend their signature mockery with genuine Bravo love, dissecting each “housewives” moment and the bizarre world of Newport socialites.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Alicia’s Flower Arranging & Neighborhood Banter

• Alicia starts the episode arranging flowers, excited to host Joellen and Liz. Light, self-deprecating humor about her “skills.”
• Joellen arrives to receive flowers (consoling after losing her grandfather). Playful banter follows about local Providence memories and neighborhood ties.
• Quote:
  “You know what? I remember him... he used to come to Superior Bakery, Pizza chips. Was he old? Small guy? Old guy?”
  — Ronnie, riffing on New England small-town life (07:00)

2. Plans for the Birthday “Schooner” (Boat) Party

• Rosie FaceTimes her friend Anthony, discussing his partner Jack’s upcoming surprise schooner birthday bash.
• They debate the correct pronunciation of “schooner” – a running joke throughout the segment.
• Anthony urges Rosie to bring “girls and gays together,” setting up the quintessential Housewives boat party.

3. Recap of "Bonfire Drama" and Rhode Island Vernacular

• The group rehashes tensions from the last bonfire event, with terms like “Ho-ah” being defended as regional slang.
  • “I mean, that’s a Rhode Island thing. You just say Ho-ah because it feels good. That’s what we do!”
    — Joellen (09:30)
• Liz and Alicia's quick forgiveness cycle is mocked.
  • “You come back within seconds. What are you talking about?”
    — Liz to Alicia on reconciliation (10:32)

4. Kelsey’s Salon/Hair Influencer Hustle

• Kelsey and Ashley bond over Kelsey’s ‘salon’ room at her boyfriend’s mansion.
• Kelsey opens up about transitioning from waitress living at home to her new ‘sugar baby’ lifestyle.
• Ashley as Influencer:
  • “Posting on Instagram in my world is kind of a trade because it’s like a transaction. It’s almost like money in itself.”
    — Ashley (17:30)
• Kelsey’s beef with Rosie:
  • Kelsey is miffed that Rosie didn’t promote the haircut she gave her on Instagram—despite being paid for the service.
  • Ronnie sides with Rosie, calling out Kelsey:
    “To take money from somebody and then at them for not posting it is crazy. This girl’s an idiot, Kelsey.”
    — Ronnie (22:41)

5. Newport Boat Bash: Gays, Housewives, and ‘Martini Mike’

• The cast assembles on a Newport schooner for the birthday party, joined by local gay legend Martini Mike (brief cameo).
• Everyone toasts; classic Housewives cliquishness and insecurities abound.
• Rosie's Victim Complex:
  • Rosie laments always feeling “not good enough” for the group.
    “My thing is, these girls always have a problem with me, and I've just kind of accepted it for what it is.”
    — Rosie (34:38)

6. Haircut Instagram Grievance Goes Public

• Kelsey confronts Rosie at the party over the lack of social media credit for the haircut.
  • “I paid her to do my hair and makeup to be nice, and I don’t need Kelsey to cut my hair. She’s had this certificate for like, two minutes.”
    — Rosie’s retort (36:46)
• The group tries (and hilariously fails) to play a party game to diffuse tension (36:01–36:44).

7. Greenwich Marina & The “Gypsy” Boat Farewell

• Liz and Jerry say goodbye to Jerry’s fishing boat, “The Gypsy.”
  • Liz reminisces about being left alone during Jerry’s fishing obsessions, veiled with humor and sadness.
  • “For a guy who has had zero fishing background... becoming one of the best in the world.”
    — Billy (Ronnie channeling their friend) (42:03)

8. Rula’s Cheating Scandal Escalates

• Joellen confronts Rula with text messages allegedly from Rula’s husband’s mistress (“known for using AI”).
  • “Brian told me himself that she’s known for using AI. Very nice woman, but she’s known for using AI.”
    — Rula, dismissing the evidence (49:03)
  • Ronnie and Ben mock Rula’s ‘AI defense.’
• Joellen presses:
  • “He is still doing these things… she [the mistress] showed me every message.”
  • Rula denies, claims GPS tracking as proof (“I’ve been known for using GPS, and he’s never slept outside the house for one night”).
    (50:21)

9. Polo Pre-party (Angelo’s) and the Infamous Bubbles

• At a pre-polo event and restaurant, classic Italian/Greek-family chaos and Rhode Island pride.
• Rosie goes bubble-crazy with the bartender’s bubble gun, driving Kelsey nuts:
  • “I can’t even hide my disdain. They just show Rosie blowing bubbles and smiling.”
    — Kelsey (57:38)

10. The Polo Match: Ring-gate and Mistress Evidence Mounts

• Brian (Rula’s husband) shows up at the polo event without his wedding ring.
  • He cycles through increasingly absurd excuses (“putting gel in his son’s hair,” “hurts at work,” “pizza under the ring,” etc.).
    — “He’s just basically throwing a whole bunch of excuses at the wall to see if any of them stick.”
    — Ben (67:55–68:34)
• Joellen reveals real-time Instagram evidence that Brian is with his mistress, who is posting from his distinctive red-interior car.
  • “If I had to put a timeline on Brian’s… here it is.”
    — Joellen runs through the minute-by-minute timeline (69:29)

11. Rula’s Continued Denial & Brian’s Deflection

• Despite overwhelming evidence and public confrontation, Rula continues to make excuses for Brian—blaming the mistress or Joellen for “perpetuating” drama.
  • “You know, I think we all know Instagram is a hot butt of artificial intelligence.”
    — Brian’s latest excuse (75:51)
• The group debates “better mistress etiquette,” and Ben points out: “She’s trying to force the issue so their marriage can crumble.” (79:42)
• Show closes with speculation on whether Rula will ever leave Brian—and if she’ll return for a second season.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “You come back within seconds. What are you talking about?” — Liz to Alicia about their rapid friendship cycles (10:32)
• “To take money from somebody and then at them for not posting it is crazy. This girl’s an idiot, Kelsey.” — Ronnie on influencer etiquette (22:41)
• "Brian told me himself that she’s known for using AI.” — Rula, on the mistress’s 'fake' texts (49:03)
• “My thing is, these girls always have a problem with me, and I’ve just kind of accepted it for what it is.” — Rosie, embracing her outsider persona (34:38)
• "He’s just basically throwing a whole bunch of excuses at the wall to see if any of them stick.” — Ben on Brian’s missing wedding ring story (68:34)
• “If I had to put a timeline on Brian’s… here it is.” — Joellen, becoming the CSI of Bravo infidelity (69:29)
• “You know, I think we all know Instagram is a hot butt of artificial intelligence.” — Brian’s delirious defense (75:51)
• “I'm not running away. I just don't need to be dealing with this, you know, it's really nobody's business what happens, you know?” — Brian, caught in the act (75:30)

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Important Segments with Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic/Event | |---------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:25 | Start of RHORI recap; Alicia prepping flowers | | 04:14 | Rosie & Anthony plan “schooner” (boat) birthday party | | 08:57-10:32 | Bonfire-banter, rapid reconciliation, “Ho-ah” as dialect | | 14:34-22:41 | Kelsey’s salon, influencer trade, haircut-Instagram etiquette fight | | 24:33 | Newport mansion/boat arrival, history with Newport | | 29:14 | Introduction of the group on the schooner | | 36:46 | Kelsey publicly calls out Rosie for haircut IG snub on the boat | | 40:39-42:03 | The “Gypsy” fishing boat farewell; Jerry's fishing “career” | | 45:13-52:37 | Rula and Joellen’s confrontation: mistress texts, AI denial | | 57:38 | Polo pre-party; Rosie’s infamous drink bubbles | | 65:56-69:49 | “Ring-gate”; Brian’s excuses; evidence of cheating mounts | | 75:04 | Rula refuses to accept evidence—even when presented by friends | | 77:34-80:13 | Liz and Joellen try to get Brian to admit; mistress posts continue | | 80:13+ | End-of-episode speculation and Bravo analysis |

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Style, Tone & Final Thoughts

• Mocking but affectionate: Ben and Ronnie roast every cast member, but their deep Bravo fandom shines through.
• Local color: A lot of the conversation pokes fun at regional quirks of Rhode Island.
• Bravo culture: Frequent references to Bravo tropes, franchise crossovers (Martini Mike cameo), and real-life implications for the cast.

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Most Iconic Episode Moment

“Brian told me himself that she’s known for using AI. Very nice woman, but she’s known for using AI... Be careful.”
— Rula, in full denial, epitomizing the blend of old-school Housewife naiveté and 2026-era Bravo nonsense (49:03)

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In Short...

This episode is a vintage Watch What Crappens tour de force, with Ben and Ronnie gleefully tracking the insanity and accidental comedy of RHORI. Whether it’s boat parties, Instagram wars, or Newport’s finest, no detail escapes their comic X-ray. If you want to understand the episode’s chaos and why everyone’s talking about “schooners” and “AI mistresses,” this is the recap for you.

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Transcript

[Ronnie]

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[Kat and Nat]

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[Ronnie]

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[Kat and Nat]

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[Ben]

Watch what happens. Who cares what happens?

[Billy]

There's so much that crappens.

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to watch what crappens. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben. Hello, Ben.

[Ben]

Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

[Billy]

Good.

[Ronnie]

Welcome to the show, everybody. If you want this recap on video, you get that at Patreon. That's also where you get bonus episodes. This week will be a Top Chef discuss. You get ad free listening, you get Discord server and you get a free newsletter that comes out. You can get that anyway that comes out every week. So just go sign up there for that. It's like a blog of what happened during the week on TV that I write. So go over there and get it. Okay. You don't even have to pay for anything. Go over there and get it for free. It'll show up right in your mailbox. Today is Real Housewives of Rhode Island Season 1, Episode 5.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Ronnie]

Exciting times.

[Ben]

It's exciting. It is actually exciting times. It's a very, it's a, it's a very entertaining episode. I am enjoying the show more and more every episode. It's good. And it starts off with Alicia's house and she's putting together a flower arrangement

[Joellen]

or she calls it flower arrangement.

[Ben]

And so she's looking at it and

[Joellen]

she's like, oh my God, I did a good job. I gotta show Billy. He's Gonna be so proud of my flowers.

[Ben]

So he's like, oh, nice. That's good.

[Joellen]

She's like.

[Ben]

He's like, who's coming over?

[Joellen]

Like, oh, it's Joellen and Liz. Yeah, they're coming over like, okay, well,

[Ben]

I'm blowing up floats for adults. Isn't this hilarious?

[Joellen]

Yeah, it's real hilarious, Billy. It's really hilarious. You want a cracker?

[Ronnie]

I want a cracker. So now we go to rulers and rulers on the phone, checking on things at the office. And she's like, hey, assistant, do me a favor. Can you just let me know if my schedule's open for next Thursday? I have to plug some things in. I don't want to overlap. I think we need to clone me. Ha ha ha ha. Are you already a clone? You're like a clone. Think you are a clone. You're like that. That point in the clone where everything just starts going wrong. You know? They're like, well, the clone put too much detergent in the washer, and now the house is full of bubbles.

[Ben]

Yeah, she's a clone of a clone of a clone. Then at Rosie's house, she's talking to her dog, and then she starts FaceTiming her friend Anthony, who is one of her gay friends, and. And Anthony's gonna have a surprise party for his partner Jack, on a boat, which I don't know how surprising that can be. When you show up to a boat. It's like, it's your birthday, and we're going on a giant boat, but they're gonna have that, and it's gonna be the Aurora schooner. And so Rosie's excited.

[Joellen]

She's like, jack and Anthony are two of my favorite people on Rhode island, and we all just kind of, like,

[Ben]

run in the same gay circle, if you will. And Rosie is definitely the sort of girl that goes to the abbey and then says, gays love me. So enjoy relic.

[Ronnie]

No, we just feel like we have to be nice to you because you're dressed like a unicorn ice princess. Like, we have to be nice to you. You know, you look like you just walked through rainbow glass, you know, so they don't. They pronounce it schooner on this show? I thought it was schooner, too, but I think they keep saying a schooner.

[Ben]

I have no idea. If I. If I'm saying it wrong, I will be mortified because I just can't bear the idea that, like, the Rhode island ladies are saying it more correctly than I am. I'll look it up right now, everyone. Don't you worry. Schooner. Pronunciation Schooner.

[Ronnie]

I thought it was schooner, but I think on this show they're pronouncing it schooner. I heard somebody saying schooner. And I was like, is that. I'm sure. So anyway, she's like, oh, my God, we're in the same gay circle. And Anthony says, yeah, I mean, you could totally invite a couple of the girls. I mean, we'll get the girls and the gays together. What is more fun for a gay's birthday than a Real Housewives party?

[Billy]

Please do it for me.

[Ben]

Please make sure Ashley comes, because she's just the epitome of what gays love.

[Ronnie]

So she says, well, I really want to go, but, you know, like, last time I saw the girls, it didn't go well.

[Billy]

They hate me.

[Ronnie]

Like, they don't even want to be around me. I guess I'll invite them.

[Billy]

He's like, yeah.

[Ronnie]

Yes do. Because basically I can make friends with all of them and dump you. Because really, no one wants to be friends with the person that nobody likes on Housewives show. Okay, get it together, Rosie. Chop chop.

[Ben]

Yep, that's exactly what's going to happen. So then Joellen shows up at Alicia's house.

[Joellen]

And Alicia's like, oh, my God, you look beautiful. I'm so sorry.

[Ben]

You look gorgeous.

[Joellen]

I'm so glad to see you. I just, you know, I made you flowers.

[Ben]

And so Joellen's like, oh, my God,

[Joellen]

you made me flowers? She's like, yeah, I made your flowers.

[Ben]

Look, look at this. Look. Look at these flowers.

[Joellen]

Oh, my God. Thanks, Alicia, for the flowers. You did.

[Ben]

This is just so nice.

[Joellen]

And Alicia's like, hey, Billy, did you say hi to Joelle?

[Ben]

And she just lost her grandfather. I made her flowers.

[Joellen]

She made me flowers. I lost my grandfather.

[Ben]

Oh, you lost your grandfather. Did you see the flowers?

[Joellen]

I saw the flowers.

[Ben]

The flowers are real nice.

[Joellen]

Those are for my grandfather, right?

[Ben]

Yeah, those flowers are for your grandfather.

[Ronnie]

So she talks about how important her grandfather was to her, and she's like, so wait, was it. Was your grandfather. Was he neighbor? She's like, yeah, he lived in Cranston. She goes, yeah.

[Billy]

Oh, you know what? I remember him.

[Ronnie]

I remember him. Yeah, I remember him.

[Joellen]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Did he work at super about him? But, you know, I do remember him. You know, he used to come to Superior Bakery, Pizza chips. Was he old?

[Joellen]

Small guy? Old guy. Okay. Did he drive you go to Cranston? Yeah, it's a nice guy.

[Ben]

He was in neighborhood.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I remember him. I remember. You know what? You should. You should tell him, like, if he was still alive, you should have told him, stay at a crosswalks. This is not good. It's not good around. He just dove right in front of my car. I couldn't help it. So Joellen talks about this a bit, and then we go to Alicia's house. And we're still at Alicia's house. She's answering the door. Someone else is there. And say, oh, my God, look at you. It's Liz. Look at you. Look at that dress. What's wrong with you? You look too pretty. Like, I can't even. I can't even have you in my house. It's not for people that pretty. I'm sorry. Except for my best friends. Hi, babies. Hi, babies. You guys stay in there. It's just brushing the hair of one of those dolls.

[Ben]

So Liz comes in with, like, a giant bouquet.

[Joellen]

Oh, my God, I got some flowers here. She's like, oh, my God, those are gorgeous flowers. I mean, here I am thinking I'm all cute because I made these little flowers.

[Billy]

Yeah, your flowers are very cute.

[Joellen]

They're just a bit smaller than mine. But then I see.

[Billy]

Those are beautiful. Oh, see, I love your flowers.

[Joellen]

See?

[Ben]

And Billy's like, what did you call her?

[Billy]

Cece.

[Joellen]

You know, that why I always call her. Since we've known each other for 15 years. You haven't listened to what I say.

[Billy]

Billy, come on.

[Ronnie]

You didn't know that? She calls me C.C. c. C, C. You know, C.C. c.C.C. sometimes. Sometimes there's four C.C.C. that's what she calls me. He's like, all right, blow up. Billy doesn't pay attention. Can't even believe. I can't even believe. Yeah, Billy does not pay any attention. Okay, this is the man that wants to have children with somebody and then give them nothing in a divorce. Give them zero. So, yeah, that's Billy for you. So they get food to go hang out in the backyard and stuff, and they're. They want to talk about what happened at the last event. So Liz is like, all right, here's

[Billy]

what went on after Real, except explorers were around the bonfire and everyone's on lids. Why are people afraid of you? Blah, blah, blah. But then Rosie, out of the clear blue, looks at Cece and says, why don't you tell her what you were really saying the other day? And Elisa stands up and goes, you who? Welcome to Rhode Island. You. And Ashley's like this. Oh, you know, she's a wuss. Yeah, I'm dying. I'm dying. D.

[Joellen]

I mean, I kind of feel bad a little bit that I called Hoa. I mean, that's a Rhode island thing. You just say H because it feels good. That's what we do in Rhode Island. I don't know if you know about that. Roger Williams, his whole thing was he would go around and being like, this is. This city is called Providence. We just like it, you know? And Rosie took the words and twisted it. Okay. Because that was like a sensitive subject when I was talking about Liz. And I was like, no, you didn't. Because, like, I had your back for so long and I kept saying, oh, you got to get a no her. You got to get it. She's a light. She's this and that. But it turns out I was wrong.

[Ben]

She was just a all along. Sorry. That was really fun for me to say just now. Did you notice there was a moment where Liz said something like, like, oh, I brought some champagne.

[Joellen]

A little.

[Billy]

Have the dog.

[Ben]

And then Alicia goes, no, the dogs are at my. At my. At my sister's place. I think she didn't totally understand that.

[Ronnie]

Oh, Alicia. She goes, yeah, you know what? I see red. And then I don't come back. I don't come back.

[Billy]

And Liz goes, please, you come back within seconds. What are you talking about?

[Ronnie]

And then we see her flip flopping right away. She's like, okay, I forgive you. I love you. I love you. Like two seconds after calling her a. And so Joe Wellen's like, well, did she say anything about me? No, I didn't. I'm shocked. She. She didn't say anything about you. She goes, okay, well, did Rula say anything about me? No, no one even spoke of you. Joan's like, damn.

[Ben]

Oh, it's like, I gotta say this.

[Joellen]

I gotta say, I gotta say this. Attacking Ruler right now is kind of like low lying fruit, Joe. She's visibly going through it like something's going on.

[Ben]

She's like, don't bother with the storyline. It's not worth it.

[Joellen]

Alicia's like, guys, can we go step off eating the pools? Okay, let's do that.

[Ben]

So they go over the pool and then we see a flashback and then we come back and Liz is like.

[Joellen]

She's like, at this point, I'm feeling like Ruler doesn't want to know. Like, what I would appreciate is Ruler just say it's none of your business. I'll deal with it how I want. Thank you, but no thank you. You know, something like that. You know, but that's not what she's doing.

[Ben]

So.

[Joellen]

So Joellen's like, I feel bad for her.

[Ben]

She's at least.

[Joellen]

Yeah, well, that's good. You should feel bad for her. She's like, well, I feel like, you know, that he's making a fool of her and I'm empathetic to it a bit.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, you know, that's not nice that he's doing that.

[Billy]

And Liz is like, well, you're saying you're empathetic. I think you might be lacking a little bit in the empathetic department. I think you might be okay.

[Ronnie]

It's not.

[Billy]

You don't even got that if you stop it.

[Ronnie]

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[Joellen]

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[Ben]

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[Kat and Nat]

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[Ronnie]

And then we go to Kelsey's. And Kelsey's is organizing a salon room in her, her sugar daddy's mansion. And Ashley comes over and she's like, oh my God, this is a gorgeous house. This house could be like the next bachelor house. It's like it could be two bachelor houses. I was on the Bachelor.

[Ben]

She's like, this is amazing. You have like a salon room. And what's this room in here? This is the barista room. Your husband's been in there all morning.

[Joellen]

Kathy, we've got the cinnamon latte ready.

[Ben]

Oh my God.

[Ronnie]

Everywhere I go. So Kelsey takes clients in there whenever someone will come see her. Because I've always done hair and makeup since prom, you know, doing my friends, doing my own. I just think my passion for it really started taking off once I started doing pageants. And then we see hair that she's done. She shows pictures and yeah, I mean it is definitely pageant hobby. Hair.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's all kind of like congrats on going to the junior prom. Hair, you know, it's nice, I guess. But so Kelsey is saying like, you

[Joellen]

know, I can hustle enough.

[Ben]

Hustle. Before, when I first met my boyfriend, I was a waitress and I lived with my parents in a middle class household and I went straight from my parents house to this house. And then after that I never had to work. But if I decide to leave, I'm going to need to start being self sufficient. I'm like, yeah, that will go very well for you, I'm sure. Or if you decide to leave, you can just, just move in with the other guy and that's probably what you would do. So.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, no, I think that guy like lives with his parents or something. I wasn't sure about what was happening with that guy, but he's like, it'll be smaller. So then Kelsey's like, yeah, you know, like when my boyfriend built this house, he had this intention of getting his haircut here. So that was before me and Ashley's like, no way. That is so Bougie. They would have done that in the Bachelor house. I was on the Bachelor. She says, yeah, well, when I moved

[Billy]

in here, I was like, this house

[Ronnie]

is made for me. It has a haircut room.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So Ashley's asking about the sugar daddy. Does he have kids? And she's like, yeah. And she goes, yeah.

[Billy]

I want to say they're like.

[Ronnie]

Like three years younger than me. She goes, oh, my God. She goes, yeah. You part your hair in the middle, right?

[Joellen]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God. You and my sister have so many similarities. She's a hairstylist, too. And then we see her lying on a kitchen counter and her sister doing her hair.

[Ben]

It's like, what, do you go to her sister's salon? She's like, literally, like, her head is, like, in the sink. Like, her hair dangling onto some, like, defrosting chicken or something.

[Ronnie]

My sister reminds me a lot of me mostly because when I go to her house, it's like this. Oh, my God, Put down the spatula. Oh, my God, put down the iron. Ah. Kids every. Everywhere, poking, poking, poking in my eyes, poking my ears, kids everywhere, just screaming.

[Ben]

Yeah. So Ashley says that she's an influencer and posting on Instagram. Posting on Instagram in my world is kind of a trade because it's like a transaction. It's almost like money in itself. So Ashley. That's her way of saying, I don't pay for things.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

I will not be paying.

[Ronnie]

Yes, I'm here getting a free haircut, but it's worth way more to me. Like, it's worth way more money that I'm posting it than I ever would have paid for this haircut. So this lady better be thankful. But she's saying it a really nice way, and she's like, yeah. And I have this, like, dealio with Royal Caribbean, so I'm going on a cruise. I'm so excited. I've got a advertisement for the new Sib.

[Ben]

Wow. Just selling her soul for a cruise line. That's crazy. So Kelsey is like, we're in Virgin.

[Ronnie]

Give us a call. We're still waiting on that. We're still waiting on our Virgin cruise. What the hell?

[Ben]

I know. Well, we'll. We'll be there in a moment. We'll be there in a moment.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

So Ashley is like. She's like. Like, yeah. So I get to do an advertisement for the new ship, which actually, I think they. This. I think this. This new ship was this enormous, ginormous new ship that they launched, and all, like, all these influencers went on and it was like a whole big thing and I was, like, a little jealous. And then I also saw other. Other videos of people in the. In the rooms for these, like, enormous, like, Royal Caribbean and Carnival Cruise Lines where it's like, I just saw one this weekend where it was a family of five and they were put in a tiny, tiny, tiny room. And it was like. It was like a queen size bed for two people. And then one bed folds out from the wall and another one falls out from the wall above the queen size bed. And then there's another two that fold out from the wall and then there's like someone on the floor. It was. It was like cramming into the Titanic. And I was like, damn, I am okay with staying here on land now.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Yeah, that looks like bloody hell. It's hard for single people because, you know, they price it for two people because, like, who goes on as a single person? But I've gone with my family and I'm not sharing a room with them. And thank God I didn't. My whole sister's family of four were in one room and they did not have fun.

[Ben]

Did they have the same thing with the. The things, like, folded out from the wall and stuff?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they had like, some. We. I didn't even see their setup, but my room was. I had a queen size bed in my room just for me, but it was before I lost weight and stuff. And I just walking in there. All you could do is walk in. The suitcase was right there and then you could sleep. And then the bathroom just. I couldn't even fit in the shower all the way. I was like, too big to even, like, fit in the shower. And it was. And I had my own room, so I could only imagine all of that. But yeah, cruises. But this one was free, so that makes it a lot better. So Ashley, for Ashley, I mean, so Ashley's like, I mean, after this haircut, I'm gonna give her a little advertisement if she's good. If she's good. And so Kelsey now gets this in her head, you know, she's like, oh, well, you know, like, I only got to see you when Rosie was around, you know, so it's like, good to see you, like, on your own. And she says, yeah, you know how you have that clinger friend? Yeah. Well, like, whenever you're in a group, you're like, oh, my God, who's my friend that I'm gonna hang out with? That's like Rosie to me. Like, I'm Rosie. I'm like that with Rosie. And I was. I thought she was about to call Rosie a clinger, but she was calling herself a clinger, so it was okay.

[Ben]

Yeah. And Kelsey's like, yeah, I just can't get to know her. I don't know if that's, like, her not opening up or if she doesn't, like, take to me. I don't know. I was like, no, I cut her hair once and I just felt like she said she liked it, but then

[Joellen]

she didn't give me any acknowledgment.

[Ben]

Like, and now that she, like, not that she has to, but I just felt like if you loved it so much, like, why didn't you post when I did a service for you? Like, it's important, like, in any profession, like, how big social media is. Like, when you're furthering your career. I'm like, did she know that you were trying to build a, Like, a haircutting business? Because it's definitely coming off like a hobbyist kind of situation. Like, I was under. No, you're no idea.

[Ronnie]

Spare room at your boyfriend's house.

[Ben]

Like, yeah, I had no idea that it's like, that this was actually a profession she was trying to do. I thought she was just doing it for fun because she just sits around that house all day and does nothing.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Now she's decided she's gonna do so, but she's been doing it for five seconds. And my thing is, if. If she was do. If she did it for free for Rosie, okay, then Rosie should definitely have posted. But later, Rosie's like, I paid this girl for a haircut. So if somebody pays you, they are under no obligation to put that on their social, and it's a shitty thing for you to even bring up. Like, that's horrible. Like, if you were getting. If you were giving the haircut and you're like, oh, my God, you have such a good social following, Would you post this? Like, I can do it for free if you post it or something like that. Yeah. To take money from somebody and then at them for not posting it is crazy. This girl's an idiot, Kelsey.

[Ben]

Yeah, I think that's. I think that's crazy. So then, yeah, Kelsey's like, Ashley has a lot of followers and she understands the importance of supporting one another. And Rosie doesn't support me, but she's posted every other hair and makeup person that she's gotten hair makeup from, but not me. And that's because she's threatened by me. I try to see the good in people no matter what. I'M like, she's threatened by you. She's like, for what? She's threatened by your ability to stay in a golden cage.

[Ronnie]

I don't know.

[Ben]

I don't care.

[Ronnie]

Kelsey, you've literally done nothing. Okay?

[Ben]

No one is on this show.

[Ronnie]

You're not even threatening right now, and you're holding scissors.

[Ben]

I was just like, I gave her a haircut like she was going to a winter formal, and she still did not thank me on her Instagram

[Ronnie]

people. Everybody asked her the second she walked into that party if she was connected, and I did that to her hair, and still no posting anything. So Kelsey's like, well, whenever you need a hair, girly, I'm here for you. You've got, like, millions of followers. And now she's like, thank you so much. This literally looks incredible. Like, I could be on the Bachelor right now. You're so welcome. I'm so glad you loved it, and I appreciate you coming and trusting me. Okay?

[Billy]

Thank you for.

[Ben]

Yes, I will spread the word that you remember that my hair is parted down the middle. Let me document this hair. It's instant worth. Okay, I'm gonna do one by myself and then one with you. And so they do photos and like, oh, my God, thank you so much. So now we go to the Newport island and the Goat Island Marina. And because, by the way, one thing that I've noticed they do on every episode of the show is that they go to Newport, and they always act like it's the first time they've been there all season. Like, today we are going to Newport. So Anthony's like, they get there. The gays are there.

[Ronnie]

Newport Mansion.

[Ben]

I went to Newport when I was a kid, actually. We went. We had a little trip there. We looked at all the mansions, and it was, like, really cool. It was, like the best trip I ever took in my life. I was like, this is amazing. And then when I was an adult and I moved out here and I was a pa, I had to. I had to, like, drive the director of the show I was working on to somewhere, like, in a golf cart on the studio a lot. And his name, he was a big comedy director named Andy Ackerman who did, like, a lot of Seinfeld stuff. So I was making small talk with him, and I was like, oh, so where do you. Where are you from? And he goes from Newport, which I took as Newport, Rhode island, and not Newport, like, Newport Beach, California. And I started going, oh, my God, I love Newport. Those mansions down there are so amazing. I mean, have you Ever seen such mansions? And then he probably. I just sounded like I was just talking about it, like suburbia. I'd be like, wow, have you ever like these like Newport beaches, like McMansions, like where Shannon lives? It's like, have you ever seen a mansion like that before? Those are unbelievable. Like starstruck by McMansions. He was like, they do have some

[Ronnie]

big mansions in Newport beach, but.

[Ben]

I know, but not the kind that you're gonna be like, go there for. Like, can you imagine? I was just like this wide eyed, wide eyed young man who'd never seen a large house before.

[Ronnie]

And I was never asked to drive a golf cart again. It was so weird. You know what I said?

[Ben]

Andy Ackerman never requested me to drive him to the soundstage ever again after that.

[Ronnie]

So here we are on the schooner and Anthony's like, whoa, you know, look at her. I told you she's gonna bring it because Rosie has champagne.

[Billy]

She's like, yes, this is what you do for the gays. The gays love me.

[Ronnie]

She's like, jack is my good friend. He's married to Anthony and he's so handsome. But I mean, Jack's handsome too, but like, I'm here for Jack's birthday. But he knows a bunch of other girls and some through his husband, some through social scenes. So they're coming too. It's gonna be fun.

[Ben]

So you mean they are having a party?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's a party.

[Ben]

So he also knows other people he like. So he has co workers, so they're gonna come. And he also has like some friends from his childhood. And so he also knows these people. They're gonna come. It's like, yes, he invited guests to his birthday. I. We understand.

[Ronnie]

So Rosie's kind of a victim, but she, she's the one who starts this for herself. I don't feel bad for Rosie. She's like, why is everybody mad at me? Because you're constantly stirring with every single person in here. Why do you think they're mad at you? I'm so afraid of the girls. Everybody's just so mean.

[Ben]

Yeah, well, she's a little snot, that's for sure. But I'm enjoying her. So then that people are arriving at the party. Dolores is there. She's like, oh, you know what? The last time I did this, I was dating Frank Catania at the time. And his sister went to Rhode Island University. And Joanne's like, oh, you mean University of Rhode Island? Yeah, that's where I went. She's like, oh, you did? Thanks. For interrupting my story. By the way, I'm the veteran here. I call it.

[Ronnie]

She's older than you. She's older than you. Trust me. She's like, everyone's from New Jersey, my sorority. Everyone. Like, everyone's from there. So they're like, well, what's the worst thing you did, Hayden? By the way, I just love that. That's Dolores Story. She's like, last time I did this, I was dating Frank Catania. His sister went to school, and that's it. Well, what happened? We went on a boat. What do you want?

[Ben]

That's the story.

[Joellen]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Any.

[Ben]

Is there any sort of, like, follow up with Andy Ackerman, maybe? It just sounds like it was going

[Ronnie]

to be the story. It's like, that was it. We went on the boat.

[Ben]

So Joellen sees Ashley and she's like,

[Joellen]

oh, you got a haircut.

[Ben]

And she's like, oh, my God, I love it so much. Which, of course is like, you know, well, look at her endorsing the haircut. So Rula arrives. So congratulations, everyone, this boat's gonna take off because those sails will be filled with her personality.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, Rula. So she's like, oh, God, here I am at this thing. And Joanna's like, yeah, my grandfather passed. She's like, we know. So how do you feel about seeing Joelle and Rula? How do you feel about that? She's like, I mean, it's okay. It's okay. I could just try to put things to rest for now, you know, if Joellen starts with me. Hopefully she's a good swimmer because Newport waters are cold.

[Ben]

Rula is actually extraordinarily bad at this. And it's like, very funny to me,

[Ronnie]

but she does all these little movements. It's so funny. Like, she'll be like, the water is cold. And then she does, like, this really slow, like, shimmy of her shoulder. She's like, yeah,

[Ben]

she's being filmed at, like, 13 frames per second while everyone else is at 60. Truly, Rula. Rula is. It's so funny because from the trailers, I thought Rula was gonna be like, she's the boss. Don't get on Rula's bad side. She's. She's rich. She's. She's our stern Lebanese cast member. And she's gonna. It's her way or the highway. But she just comes on. It's like, hey, everyone, it's Ruler. I'm here. I was on a call before, and the call was good. And no one.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they really sell Rula. Yeah, they really did sell Rula. It's like, where's Rula? Rula's not here. Rula's not. Rula might come this time. Rula's finally here. Rula.

[Kat and Nat]

It's Rula.

[Ronnie]

It's like, hi, I'm Rula Dink. So they talk a little bit about the event the other day. And Alicia's like, yeah, I was so mad at her. Like, I was so mad at that girl. Like, I went crazy on her. But we're okay now. Like, yeah, you went house. So another boat pulls up, and Alicia goes, is this it? It's a world like, oh, my God, Sleeping Beauty. Is this the boat? Is this the boat? Is this it? What were you going to say, Ben? Sorry, go ahead.

[Ben]

When Rula said you went house, what does that mean, you went house? Did she mean to say you went ham? She said house instead.

[Ronnie]

I don't know. I'd never heard that. So I just skipped over it.

[Ben]

Like, I kind of feel like she meant to say ham, but she said house. She's like, it's a. It's a noun with an H. Oh,

[Ronnie]

a leaf is mad again. Everybody get ready to dance.

[Ben]

Hey, Alicia's mad. Get ready to solve a medical crime. She's about to go house.

[Ronnie]

It's arthritis. Arthritis of the elbow. Oh, my God. Alicia win house. So Kelsey's like, did you ever wonder how Christopher Columbus sell the ocean blue? And Ashley goes, every day of my life.

[Ben]

She probably does. I bet Christopher Columbus spouse didn't would help him out once in a while. So they get on the boat, and Alicia's like, oh, my God, I feel

[Joellen]

like the Little Mermaid, like, Ariel.

[Ben]

Like, Ariel was under the sea.

[Ronnie]

Just so you know, for a while she wasn't. And also on a boat. This is the second Little Mermaid this week because we also got it on the Valley when that girl was like, oh, my God, Little Mermaid.

[Ben]

And to be fair, wasn't Ariel supposed. Wasn't. Didn't she have, like, a wedding that was happening on the. On the boat?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they had something. Yeah, they had something on the boat. So then Joellen is like, so are we gonna go towards the bow? Wait, is that the bow? And they're like, that's the bow. Okay, that's the bow. She says.

[Ben]

She said I was going towards the bow.

[Ronnie]

It's the bow.

[Joellen]

Bow.

[Ronnie]

So they cheers to Jack's birthday and stuff and take off. And they're notably, by the way, we

[Ben]

should mention that Martini Mike is on board. Martini Mike, famously, of Real Housewives of New York, be gay. When. When the real houses of New York.

[Ronnie]

Oh, really? I didn't notice him.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's. He literally. He was, I think, concerned that no one would notice him because at one point he goes, martini.

[Joellen]

Mike is here to serve martinis.

[Ben]

He was very like. He's like, we'll remember me. But yes, that was him. He was the. The gay who was like, clutching his pearls in the corner while drinking the martini. Famously on Roni. He was on the boat because he is a Rhode island gay that I think they were. They had a trip to Rhode island and that's. They were in that little restaurant in Providence. Famously.

[Ronnie]

Well, there you go.

[Ben]

Pants. Yeah, here he is there. Or was that in Salem? I don't remember.

[Ronnie]

I don't remember where.

[Ben]

Wasn't it?

[Ronnie]

It was multiple times. So just pick a spot. Ramona's pooped there. So Liz is like, oh, my God.

[Billy]

I. I love being a boat. Sit on the water. I could live on a boat. Actually, the winter we lived on the Gypsy in Palm Beach. Or should I. Should I say Jerry did? And I.

[Ronnie]

We find out today that how hurtful this fishing storyline was to Liz.

[Joellen]

Should I say just, yeah, we lived down in Palm beach on the boat. Or should I say Jerry did an eye visit? Or should I say Jerry did and I didn't visit. Should I just say I hadn't seen

[Ben]

Jerry in five years and I found

[Joellen]

out he was in Palm Beach. Anyway, fun boats. We love boats.

[Ronnie]

Oh. So Ashley waves and waves to something and she's like, do you know who I am? I'm the girl that waves at people when I think they're waving at me, but they're actually not waving at me. I mean, that actually just happened with Kelsey. I did it, you guys. And Rosie's like, haha. I mean, to be fair, like, the girls can be really mean. I mean, my thing is, like, look, these girls always have a problem with me, and I've just kind of accepted it for what it is. Maybe stop starting Rosie. So she says that she has anxiety now because she feels like she's gonna get punched in the face every time she shows up somewhere. And she just doesn't know why. It's like she's never good enough.

[Ben]

So then Lou sits down and like,

[Joellen]

oh, is this a personal conversation? Because apparently that's what I. This is why I can't be on boats.

[Ben]

Things get too personal and they're like, no, no, join, join. We were just talking about how, you know, like, what? Rosie. You can say it.

[Joellen]

Rosie's like, well, I Feel like no matter what I do, it's always just gonna be like a thing. Like, what? What have I. Like, what have I done other than being, like, really super nice to people and just try to be, like, super

[Ben]

friendly and talk shit about people behind their backs.

[Joellen]

That's it. And, like, just trying to be super

[Ben]

supportive in, like, an undermining way.

[Ronnie]

So then Kelsey comes over and, oh, we're just talking about supporting each other, Kelsey.

[Billy]

Oh, yeah. Well, can I say something?

[Ronnie]

Because I've seen many times, whether it's your spray tan or your food or every person that's done your makeup. Rosie, like, every person that's done your hair, you always post. And I appreciated you asking me to do the haircut, but then you never posted anything. And Rosie's like, oh, my God.

[Ben]

You say, kelsey, how about you say, hey, can you do me a favor? Could you post a picture of the haircut on your social media? Because I'm trying to build my business. You can always ask that. So Alicia's like, on the other end.

[Joellen]

Alicia goes, okay, guys, guys, let's play a game. Okay. How about you start with the word A?

[Ben]

And Joel goes, and then what?

[Joellen]

B? I don't know.

[Ben]

So what are we doing?

[Ronnie]

What are we doing here?

[Joellen]

I don't know.

[Ronnie]

I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't know.

[Billy]

Games. Like, hey, what's the game? What's the game?

[Ronnie]

Someone tell me a game.

[Ben]

The game is figuring out the game.

[Joellen]

We gotta play a game. Okay, okay. The game is called.

[Ben]

All right, what do you do?

[Joellen]

I don't know.

[Ben]

I thought you knew.

[Ronnie]

What kind of game is this? I don't know.

[Billy]

What's a game?

[Ronnie]

You know, a game. Still game. Just give me a number. Someone give me a number. Thirteen. Thirteen. Okay, now what? What are you gonna do with the number? That was the game. I said, give me a number. You gave me. You won. You gave me a number.

[Ben]

So Kelsey, meanwhile, is, like, still complaining.

[Joellen]

She's like, you gave me zero credit online.

[Ben]

She goes, well, you. We never any took any pictures of it. She goes, it doesn't matter. He's like, I paid her to do my hair and makeup to be nice, and I don't need Kelsey to cut my hair. She has this certificate for. She's had it for like, two minutes.

[Ronnie]

She's like, it's about showing support. So then back to Alicia. They're like, okay. At least. She's like, okay, play a game. All right, Lisa, give me a number. Okay, what is this? It's a cracker. It's a cracker. Damn it. All right. Kill Mary. Kill Mary. Okay. Kill Mary. Okay, wait. Okay. He has four drinks in his hand. Martini Mike. Like, I want to hear the answer. I want to hear it. She goes, give it to me raw. Tell me. Tell me the answer. Martini Mike. And he's like, okay, well, I feel like Ashley. I love her husband, but I'd want to kill her. And then I'd f. Brion Brianna. And who do I want to marry? Who has the most money? Martini Mike.

[Ben]

So. So then Liz is talking to so ruler.

[Joellen]

She's like, hey, what's that?

[Ben]

That vodka and rose? Like, why are you whispering? What's going on?

[Joellen]

Fighting. They're fighting over there.

[Ben]

So then Rosie is like, you're trying

[Joellen]

to find reasons to have a problem

[Ben]

with me because I didn't tag you on Instagram.

[Joellen]

And she's like, no, but I would

[Ben]

have done that for you. She's like, okay, great.

[Joellen]

If you would have asked me to,

[Ben]

I would have done it for you. It's just not top of mind.

[Joellen]

Sorry.

[Billy]

But you never even took a picture.

[Ronnie]

It's not my job to take a picture of the back of my fucking head.

[Billy]

Kelsey, just.

[Ronnie]

Oh, really? Well, the back of your head is the reason why you got a ha. Haircut.

[Billy]

Really?

[Ben]

Yeah, I did. This is so stupid.

[Ronnie]

I was cracking up at this fight.

[Ben]

That Kelly is so.

[Ronnie]

That Kelsey is so involved in this. Like, you didn't post it on Instagram. She paid you, you ding dong. So Ash is like, well, is there anything we can do to make this up? And Kelsey, like, support people.

[Billy]

That's it.

[Ben]

So can she, in hindsight, tag you? And then this guy Jack is like,

[Joellen]

I don't want to have an awkward night.

[Ben]

Like, not on my birthday. Bitch, you are a gay man. This is a gift. Your gift is to have fighting on a boat for you.

[Ronnie]

Yes, girl, please. But he also. That's his birthday present. He gets to go, you guys, not on my birthday. Like a Real Housewife. Real. Real Housewife. So Kelsey's like, you support everyone, Rosie. It just seemed calculated that you weren't supporting me. She's like, okay, well, I do support everyone. And so you're saying I'm not supporting

[Billy]

you, but you could have. You could have what?

[Ben]

So Rosie's like, okay, I'm done with this. Whatever. She's like, this. I like, it's not my job to post you on Instagram. I know you use people for everything, but you're not allowed to use me for clout, okay? I'm just so sick of people using me. A local reporter who focuses on lifestyle things on weekend slots on the Rhode Island News. To use me for clout is just unacceptable.

[Ronnie]

Trying to use me for clout just because I know Sergeant Salami, that lady.

[Ben]

Did I do a profile on a new used car shop in Providence? I did. Are you going to use that for clout building?

[Joellen]

Hell, no.

[Ronnie]

So it's a Bravo show. There's a boat. So of course people have to do the Titanic scene. It's Joellen and Alicia, and meanwhile, Rosie's crying, and she's like, my makeup looks so pretty today. Now she says, when your makeup looks the best, that's usually when you cry the most. Trust me. So now we go over to Jerry and Liz arriving at the Greenwich Cove Marina.

[Ben]

We go from one marina to another. So now we're in a totally different boat scene. And they are. They get on to the Gypsy, and

[Joellen]

Liz is like, it almost doesn't feel real, does it? I actually didn't know this boat even existed, because I just know you were gone, the boat was gone. I was like, does this thing even exist anymore? But it's here. It's real.

[Ben]

He's like, yeah, the last trip, babe.

[Joellen]

Yeah, it's like the last time walking down this dock, you know, like.

[Ben]

Well, technically, you can still walk down the dock. You just won't get on anything at the end of it.

[Billy]

Oh, Captain Taylor, it's the end of an era. I think Jerry's deciding to sell the Gypsy because he's had enough. He's had his fill of sport fishing. We've got so many memories on the Gypsy. One time, Jerry and Michael Jordan fished against each other in a tournament, and Jerry won. I mean, I wasn't there to prove

[Ronnie]

it, but I was pissed I was

[Billy]

there, but Michael Jordan is actually like, oh, my absolute God.

[Joellen]

Oh, my God. One time, Jerry told me he got into a tournament with a ghost of Ronald Reagan and Angela Lansbury, and he actually came in first, and he said Angela Lansbury was so mad that she pushed the ghost of Ronald Reagan off the side of the boat. I was like, oh, my God, Jerry, that's crazy. I mean, I wasn't there. I didn't see it, so I can't verify it, but he said it happened, so it's got to be true.

[Billy]

You know, Jerry, for a guy who has had zero fishing background whatsoever, they're becoming one of the best in the world. I'm proud of you, Jerry. I'm proud of you. Now I'm not proud for leaving me alone all of those times just so you could go fishing and have your stories about Liberace catching a bass in his piano. But, you know.

[Joellen]

You know, we have 14 years together, and we will. You were always by each other's side, you know, so when you develop this passion, I was a little confused. I don't understand why being next to me for 14 years would make you suddenly want to disappear from this household. I don't know what happened.

[Ronnie]

And she's crying.

[Ben]

I love that.

[Ronnie]

This fishing storyline is hilarious. Like, the guy just up and said, bye, I'm gonna go be a professional fisher. I'm gonna be gone three months out of the. Three weeks out of the month. And he's like, I know, babe. It wasn't easy. I'm sorry I left.

[Billy]

Well, there were times when I rent. Resented the hell out of Jerry, and I just wanted to cut his head off when weeks went into weeks. Say goodbye to the gypsy. I'm here for it now.

[Ronnie]

You can't leave.

[Billy]

That leaves me now, Jerry. How are you gonna get somewhere when you don't got a boat?

[Ronnie]

There's airplanes, babe. Oh, God damn it. I gotta be mad.

[Ben]

By the way, I bought an airplane. No, it's a whole new chapter, but it's gonna be a great one. I'm excited for the baby. I. I'm so excited to give up my favorite thing in the world so I can stay home and help my daughter with the baby she's about to have. Wow. So excited.

[Joellen]

Yeah.

[Billy]

You got rid of the bow so you could spend more time with your family. I get that. I get that.

[Ronnie]

That is what politicians say when they have been caught in some kind of scandal or something. What is going on with this fishing boat? What is happening here? It's such a big deal. Yeah, there's got to be something going on. I can't wait to find out what it is.

[Ben]

Commercials. Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie]

Breaking news for your home Wayday is here.

[Kat and Nat]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

In the meantime, we now go to this restaurant called Sombra and Joellen's at the bar and Rula comes in and rules like, oh, I hope you weren't waiting long. Can I have an espresso? Espresso martini. Make it quick. I don't want to have to go house on you.

[Ronnie]

Okay, look, I put in a guacamole too, so thank you for meeting me, okay, because when we're on the boat, we didn't really get a chance to talk to you. Like, I just kept having to come up with numbers for Alicia for some reason. But, you know, my grandpa died, so I was dealing with that. And I don't know, I figured we should just come talk to each other without the husbands. Amber was like, joe Wellen's been sort of like a high school cheerleader with a megaphone who wants to hear Ruler's business.

[Billy]

Come one, come all.

[Ronnie]

But I'm here because, like a. A God in a crossing, I'm about to put a stop to it.

[Ben]

So the lady, the waitress is like,

[Joellen]

okay, here's your espresso martini.

[Ben]

Oh, thank you for the espresso martini.

[Joellen]

Oh, good.

[Ben]

I'm glad you got your espresso martini.

[Joellen]

Look, look, Ruler, I don't have anything against you. I don't, okay? I'm happy. I got a hot husband with giant

[Ben]

nipples that turned all the Internet on fire last week.

[Joellen]

Okay? It's more about him. I don't like what he's doing to you.

[Ben]

She's like, well, this is. It's not still going on. I can tell you that right now.

[Joellen]

No, it's still going on and he's still doing these things.

[Ben]

And I know your heart wants to believe what it wants to believe. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. Look, I want to be wide eyed and bushy tailed right now. I don't. I'm like, that's not the definition of wide eyed because Rula's saying that she wants to have. Have her eyes open to everything, but wide eyed and bushy tail is not. Does not. That's not what you mean.

[Ronnie]

I'm not trying to go one way or the other. I feel like I know my husband very well. But at the same time, it's good to hear things. So if I want to have my ears to the. To the train tracks. So if someone's trying to pull the wool over my ears, I would like to hear them see me to understand.

[Joellen]

Well, I think he is still doing this stuff. I mean, I have text messages. Look, these are. This is a conversation that I have of her.

[Ben]

And Joellen says she knows the mistress because their children go the same daycare together. And then they ran into each other and she and this. This mistress started showing Joelle in the conversations with Brian and she's selling Joellen that they're in love. And he. And he wants. And he's been telling her that he wants Rula to leave him. Sarula's like, well, you know what? I need to see more proof, you know, because she has fake text applications. I already know that from other people. Brian told me that she actually invented artificial intelligence and that she's very good at it. And she. She. This is all fake.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, the text of fake. This attempted home wrecker. She's known for using AI. She's known for fabricating certain information. Brian said so himself. Yeah, of course. Brian's. And Brian also told. Told her that she was crazy. She's like, it's literally beyond Fatal Attraction. I mean, her hair is crispier than that permed lady in the movies. That's it.

[Ben]

I think the movie you're trying to think of is Dumb and Dumber.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, Fatal Attraction. Glenn Closest roles played by Jim Carrey. But this lady, I will say this lady does seem psycho because who is going to go cheat with somebody and then tell the friends, like, oh, yeah, he really loves me. He's going to leave that woman. Look at all our text messages. Like, that's crazy. She does seem like a fucking nutcase. But that doesn't make your husband less of a psychopath cheater, which he obviously is. And you're such an idiot to believe. This woman is showing you texts like, come on now.

[Ben]

Yeah. And like, you're like when she says. I mean, Brian told me himself that she's known for using AI which is such a funny thing to say. That is such a. That is to me that, like, is someone who has no. Like, someone who's just like, read about AI and like Time magazine, but has no idea about it. It's like she's known for using it. She's known for it, like, who goes around Being like, oh, did you see Mary Lewis? Yeah. She's known for using AI. Very nice woman, but she's known for using AI. Be careful.

[Ronnie]

Well, she showed me every message. I said, can I see your phone? She said, yes. She goes, and you don't think she's psycho? She goes, well, I mean, I. I do think she's crazy. I mean, I read every message, and she let me. And I was like, whoa, crazy. She goes, yeah, but how do you even know that that's his number? She's like, I don't. But who's gonna go through all of this for your husband, Rula? Like, think about that. Yeah, who wants that man? Who wants melted Hellboy so badly that they're gonna fake another number to pretend it's him and make up a whole relationship in their head? Come on, now. It's. The guy's.

[Ben]

Not.

[Ronnie]

I was gonna say John Travolta, but I don't know that anybody would be lying to get John Travolta either. Yeah, I don't know who, but come on. It's your husband.

[Ben]

Ruler goes, I don't have time for this shit. But let me make one thing clear right now. She is a lying sack. Joellen. I have a GPS tracker. I've been known for using gps, and he has never even slept outside of the house for one night. Like, did he leave his phone on the nightstand Ruler?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And Joel's like, no, no. It's every morning. He goes to her house in the morning and brings her coffee. Coffee. Every single morning. It's just. But no, no, he's at the gym every morning. Then she goes, does Brian look like he goes to the gym? Come on.

[Ben]

Where is the gym? It's the end of a cul de sac. He told me they just opened up the bally's there. He's known for going to the gym.

[Ronnie]

It's a home gym. It's a home gym. This was so funny when she said, does Brian look like he goes to the gym? She goes, yes, he does. And I would hope that as a female, we would look out for each other and feel for one another. She goes, that's what I'm trying to do.

[Ben]

My God, as a female, I hope we look out for each other. She's a lying piece of. She's. Rula is the entire time more angry at the women than she has been at the men. And she's like, as a woman, I want to look out for each other. So Joellen goes, doesn't.

[Joellen]

Don't make Me look like an.

[Ben]

Or a liar.

[Joellen]

I mean, she doesn't believe the truth.

[Ben]

And my mother was like that.

[Joellen]

She didn't listen to the truth.

[Ronnie]

Truth.

[Joellen]

And when somebody calls me out on something, whether it be that I'm lying or that. That I need help or whatever my mother did to me, I need to

[Ben]

prove that you're wrong.

[Joellen]

So be quiet, mother.

[Ben]

I'm like, how did this turn into mommy issues now?

[Ronnie]

Now you're mad at your mom. Joan's like, well, it is still happening with no regard to you. And you know that. Yes, that's. Listen, I'm not trying to be an. I don't want any more animosity. She goes, I appreciate you taking the time to want me to meet. To want to meet with me. One, One and one espresso martini. But I told you, shoot straight. You know, Please be honest. I would want to be honest with you. Okay? And if she has real, meaningful truth that's not created by AI or it's not fabricated, it's not a lie, then fine, just bring it to me. But Joe Allen's being duped by a home wrecker, and she might be taking the bait, and she shouldn't be. Oh, my God, Rula, you are helpless.

[Ben]

You.

[Ronnie]

You are helpless.

[Ben]

This.

[Ronnie]

So do you think she believes. She does really believe all this, and she just doesn't want to be embarrassed, so she's trying to stand up for her husband, or do you really believe that she believes that her husband is just being framed?

[Ben]

I think she's in denial. And I think she's also concerned about this being on TV when, you know, she's got kids. So I think she's just in protective mode. And I also don't think that she's very bright.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, because the. Worried about your kids. I mean, she knew all this was going on when she signed up to be on this. Like, they're five episodes in or something, you know, so.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

So Rilla's like, look, I'm trying to get past it with you. I just think that, like, I've been dealing with a lot now. Hold on one second. I just need to touch your shoulders. Okay? You're real. I wasn't sure if you were just a holographic projection she's used.

[Joellen]

She's.

[Ben]

You know, this woman is known for using holographic projections with AI. It's very scary.

[Ronnie]

So now we go to Rosie. She's FaceTiming Ashley, and Ashley's on her cruise, and she's coming back for whatever. She's like, well, after the boat ride, Alicia did call and she'd be invited me to Polo. So then we see Rosie on the phone with Alicia and Alicia's like, hey, you gotta come to polo because like you haven't been to Angelo's yet, right? Like Billy's restaurant. You should come. It's my idea that they wear blue shirts instead of red. It's made a huge difference.

[Ben]

Prince. Yeah. So then Rosie says like, you know,

[Joellen]

I want to be part of this.

[Ben]

So I'm walking, I'm walking back into the lion's den. Ashley can't go. Rich has to go late.

[Joellen]

But you know what?

[Ben]

This is time for you to grow up as a person and show up and have a good time. This is not a lion's den. No one cares anymore. The fight that happened happened last last week. Everyone's moved on to something else.

[Ronnie]

So we go to Angelo's and Alicia and Bill are there and at least like Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. He goes, what? Oh, I didn't know where you went. I'm right here.

[Ben]

So they're setting up food because this is like the pre party before polo. And Alicia's like, okay, let's wander about.

[Joellen]

No one's gonna sit, you know, no one likes to sit. Angelo's, one of Billy's family owned restaurants that he owns with his mom and his sister. And Billy being Greek, his father's name is Angelo. But if you just say in Greek, I think it's like Avalonjali or Avalon or whatever. Avalogilist of a lot of Yanni. I think his name is Yanni. He makes CDs, you know, very good music.

[Ronnie]

So they're getting food and she's like, some calzone, some calamari, a hummus plate. And he goes, you want an Italian calzone? She's like, yeah, an Italian calzone. Look, look. What the hell? What the hell are the kind of calzone Got a Greek calzone, we got Netherlands calzone. Come on, just give me an Italian calzone. What, are you kidding me? Polo is a huge thing in Rhode Island. It happens every year here. And it's a beautiful event. Everyone gets so excited. They get dressed up. You have champagne, you drink a little snack. And then the horses are beautiful. I love a horse. I love a horse. And we see pictures of Rhode island polo and it's like people in like tank tops, like hats with beers in them, like, and straws coming down from the beer to their mouth.

[Joellen]

I never knew a disease could be so fancy.

[Ben]

Like, that's polio. Polio.

[Ronnie]

Oh, oh, yeah. The why does it make you walk funny?

[Ben]

So Rosie. Bill is like. He's like, hey, where's big Rich? Where's big Rich Rosie?

[Joellen]

And Rosie's like, he's coming later, whatever.

[Ben]

So people are showing up. It's hellos, hellos, hellos, hellos, hellos, hellos, hellos. And Kelsey is like, whenever I'm at

[Joellen]

a function or an event that has

[Ben]

to do with my friends, I feel like my boyfriend's never interested. But Bill's very eager to show our relationship in public. So, like, claim me as his.

[Joellen]

You know, things like that.

[Ben]

Because that's. Bill is her, like, her side. Her side man. You know, the young guy who's, like, willing to come up on camera, so she's happy to bring him here to this polo event.

[Ronnie]

So Joellen and Gary or Jerry come and. No, Gary. Sorry. Joellen and Gary come. Liz. Without Jerry, Because Jerry's golfing.

[Billy]

Listen, he may not have a fishing boat anymore, but he's still. And now he's gonna go off three weeks out of the month.

[Joellen]

This is what it is.

[Ben]

So now Rosie does something that is. It's really crossing the line, if you ask me. The background is that the bartender has a device that makes a bubble that you can put on top of a drink if you ever gotten a cocktail that has, like, a bubble dome on it. So he has a device that does it, and he gives it to Rosie to do. And Rosie starts playing with it it, and she starts putting bubbles on drinks. Need I say more? Guys, this is really. Could not be anything more obnoxious that you could ever imagine. And Kelsey is not gonna stand for it. She's like, I'm looking at Rosie, and I can't even hide my disdain. And they just show Rosie just blowing these bubbles and smiling. Be like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's like, oh, bubbles on drinks. Can she get any worse?

[Joellen]

Oh.

[Ronnie]

So Rula and Brian come on. And Joellen's like, oh, my God. Wow. Hi, guys. And Rose like briars. Brian's prior indiscretions are done and over with. Well, obviously a united front. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here together. Is that a why? I don't. Why is there a bubble on my nose?

[Billy]

It's a gun. It's a bubble gun.

[Ronnie]

God damn it.

[Ben]

Guys, I think we need to excommunicate Rosie from our group. The bubbles are just a step too far. So.

[Ronnie]

All right, everybody, I have a public announcement. A public announcement. The bus is going to be here any minute, so if anyone has to go to the bathroom.

[Joellen]

I.

[Ronnie]

We should do it now because it's like an hour, right? It's an hour, right?

[Ben]

If you need a cracker, I got you. But if you want to get your

[Joellen]

own crackers, they're in the bowl over there.

[Ronnie]

I thought it was cute that Alicia and the husband at the same time.

[Ben]

Go.

[Ronnie]

It's going to be an hour ride. It's going to be an hour ride. They're just those people that are now overlapping. Are we going to the play park? It's a 30 minute drive. It's a 30 minute drive.

[Ben]

30 minute drive. That's basically my parents. So then. So they're about to get on the bus, but then all of a sudden Brian gets a call. He's like, oh, hey, dad. Oh, no. What happened? Oh, boy. All right, you gonna call an ambulance or.

[Joellen]

Okay, thank you.

[Ben]

I guess I will see you at the hospital. He's like, well, my father's taking my mom. The rescue is coming to them. Like, the rescue. You're a doctor. The rescue. The rescue. Paramedics, EMTs. Do you even know the terminology? Like, at least make your excuse use sound, right?

[Ronnie]

They got used poodles in the back. So Ruler's like, what happened? Well, her hands are cold. She says she doesn't feel well. She could die at any minute. I'm going to the hospital. And Alicia's like, everybody better go. You know what? It's a gorgeous bus. I want to take a picture of this bus. And me. Everyone's all excited about the bus. And Ruler's like, I don't want to interrupt, but his mom is heading to the hospital. So we have to go, like, oh, my God. Is everything okay? Well, we're just gonna see what's going on with her and then we'll, you know, we'll meet you at the event. We'll. We'll. You.

[Ben]

So by the way, his mom feels unwell but doesn't call her doctor son first to see if any other further. He's a foot doctor. He still went to medical school. You know, you still should have some idea of, like, general medicine. I believe that's my. That's my impression.

[Ronnie]

I was like, I'm going to have a stroke joke. I'm gonna call the foot doctor.

[Ben]

I was still. Because, well, because here's the thing. Once you be. Once you go through medical school, he has probably answered so many calls from friends and family members that, like, he. I just have to imagine that, like, oh, my God, I'm not really feeling well. My hands are cold. What Should I do? I think he will have a general idea of like, you should go to the hospital or not go to the hospital. I just think, like, this is just such a lazy excuse on his part.

[Ronnie]

It really is. But I mean, so obviously he's gonna go bang the hooker, so it's crazy that she's going with him. I was like, how's that gonna work? So Bill is saying, oh, yeah, I was looking forward to watching Joel Will rule all day. I guess that's over with. And she's like, oh, yeah, I feel bad I haven't said prayers to your mom because I'm a good person today. I'm a good person. So they open champagne, they're on the bus. They're all partying and having fun. And they're. They're like, where's Ashley? Oh, she's on a cruise. She's having fun. And then Alicia just goes, I love a horse. What? I do. I love a horse.

[Ben]

Like, just in general.

[Joellen]

Yeah, in general. I would never run one over. So then Liz goes, hey, guys, should I call Ruler and make sure she's okay? And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

So she FaceTimes ruler. She's like, hey, Liz.

[Joellen]

It's like, well, we wanted to show you the bus. Okay, this. The bus is what you missed.

[Ben]

She's like, oh, God, I'm jelly. Like a big jar of jelly. I'm gonna see if I can make it, but I just have to see if she's all right.

[Joellen]

Say, are you with Brian now?

[Billy]

He's at the hospital?

[Ben]

No, he's not here. He's with his mom and dad. Like, so then why did Rula go, Exactly. He's such a. Yes.

[Ronnie]

This guy is such a fucking liar. So Joel tells her, rula, his mom's health is more important than anything. Don't stress the polo match. And so they hang up with her and like, oh, my God, what are you being so nice for? Joellen, what's going on with you? And then Joellen goes, oh, never mind. My phone just stinged, but I don't want to talk about it. Well,

[Joellen]

she's okay. Well, one of my good friends is

[Ben]

actually friends with the mistress. And, like, she texted me and she

[Joellen]

said that he's going to see the mistress right now. And Liz is like, yeah, I think that's a bit far fetched. I mean, if that was true, I mean, like, Brian lied and said that he had to rush the hospital and see his mom and then drop Rule off in a fit of haste and drove off to the mistress.

[Billy]

I don't know.

[Joellen]

I'm not believing it. You know, like, you can fool me once, but you can't fool me all those times. Okay. Like, I'm pretty sure these men's aren't doing that. Anyway, I just want to say that my husband will be going off for six weeks to climb Mount Everest.

[Ronnie]

Bye.

[Billy]

I don't believe none of that. Smart. By the way, my husband couldn't make it.

[Ronnie]

He's golfing today, girl. So then they're at the polo match now, and Jerry shows up and she's

[Billy]

like, jerry, you look so spiffy. What's that smell?

[Ronnie]

It's like, nothing, Nothing, honey. So the guys are talking together and they're like, whoa, these women are crazy. Right? Well, these women are a lot of work.

[Billy]

Oh, God, women.

[Ronnie]

Am I right?

[Ben]

Yeah. And they're like, popping up about champagne and everything and having fun and, like, it's just like polo kind of things, you know, and there's like a coin toss and, you know, they're excited to do the divots, et cetera, et cetera.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's just like, things going on at polo. So Rosie is talking to Joellen, and Joellen's asking about the house. And she goes, yeah, we're adding 5,000 square feet to the house. And Joelle says, 5,000? She's like, yeah, it's going to be 8,000 square feet when we finish it.

[Ben]

It.

[Ronnie]

Because we have like 1500 upstairs. And we're turning the downstairs what's currently the garage. That's going to be the gym and a sauna. And Alicia is here. Kelsey's hearing all this and getting pissed. Okay. So then Rula and Brian show up, and they're like, oh, my God, they made it. And they're like, how's she doing? And he's like, she's stable, you know, so we'll see what happens. I tried to give her a high five, but she couldn't do it. So I don't know. I don't know. Mistress was busy.

[Ben]

Bad case of cold handitis. So Liz. So Liz is like, well, I think

[Joellen]

this is Rosie's glass, by the way,

[Ben]

ruler, so you can enjoy. And then we cut to just like Alicia. Just like, which.

[Joellen]

Which. You look like a stallion. You look like a hobbit stallion.

[Ben]

It's like, thanks. Thanks so much.

[Ronnie]

So Joellen is talking to Kelsey about the house that Rosie's building, and she's like, yeah, she said she's building 5,000 square feet. I mean, on top of eight. Like, that's crazy. And Kelsey's like, it is not five. Rosie's always exaggerating or putting on. So, like, she's just like, to me, she wants to show up or, like, put on this Persona that she's like, building a very big house which at the end of the day get nothing for nothing. And she's not, she's not doing that, Mike.

[Ben]

Ma', am, you are cosplaying like you're in a serious relationship and that you're actually wealthy. So. But we do see, actually, like, I think they do show like a shot of like the house under construction and it's like, yeah, I'm not sure if that is going to be 5,000 square feet either, but we'll see. Could be tall. So now it's time to. To put in the divots, to step on the divots and everything. So they go onto the field and they're pressing the divots and it's like, really fun. It's very Pretty Woman esque, etc. And they're. Kelsey is trying on Rula's ring because she's like, oh, my God, this ring is beautiful. They're looking at the ring and that's when they start to notice, like, wait a second. Like, where's your wedding ring, Brian?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, actually, mine's in the car. You know, I put gel in my son's hair. I took it out, I put it in my pocket and I forgot to put it back on. So, whoops, they're like, he's not wearing his ring. So they all start like, oh, my God, he's not wearing his ring. And Rudolph's like, you serious, Brian?

[Ben]

Does everyone say, like, you put gel. Were you, Were you like, hey, son, come to the car where I'm going to put the gel in your hair and I'm going to put it in my pocket. He said he's going to put the. The ring in his pocket, but the ring is in the car. So he either applied the gel from in the car or he took the

[Ronnie]

ring off the ring in his pocket to get a BJ from the mistress. Come on.

[Ben]

Like, nothing, nothing adds up with this terrible excuse.

[Ronnie]

This guy is just such a liar. So they're all talking about it now and we see a flashback. Brian was wearing his ring at Angelo's. So Angela says, yeah, his ring must be on the nightstand at his mistress's house.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So.

[Ben]

But also is funny that he has to take his ring off to see the mistress who know she's wearing. Yeah. Unless he's been Telling the mistress that they have broken up. Maybe. I'm not sure. So rule is like, you know, I mean, you know what it is, because he has all the surgeries that work, so he honestly wears a rubber one. So, like, it's. It's very easy to forget. He's got. There's a lot of, you know, so before you go into surgery at work, you got to put gel into everyone's hair. So you got to make sure all the nurses are gelled up. And you never want to have your other doctors not have a good hair. So he's got to put a lot of gel on people's hair. It makes sense if you know a surgery surgeon.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So she's telling Brian. You know, they were asking about rings and which guy wear rings and which guys don't. He's like, well, like, during the day, I don't work at home. Like, it hurts at work. You know what I mean? Ow. Ow. I just feel it. It's like. It's like something. It's like a weight. It's dragging me down. I, like, feel it's on my finger, but I feel it's strangling me. You know what I mean?

[Ben]

He's, like, on the side for, like, almost the rest of the episode, just doing a stream of different excuses. And it's like, it just. The rest of the episode, he's like, well, you know, you put him on, it's like it hurts a little bit. You know when you're eating the pizza and you have a ring on, you know, you don't want to get pizza under the ring, so you got to take it off. Because if you have the pizza under the ring, it's not good. And then, you know, sometimes if you're walking down the sidewalk, if you have your ring on your finger, like, you can't walk, right? You don't want to fall in a crack because, you know, step on a crack, break your mother's back. My mom, she's got cold hands. So, like, you know, if I, you know, if my mom has cold hands, I gotta have cold hands, too, out of solidarity. Gotta take the ring off for that. Like, what are you saying over there in the corner? Like, the entire time he's just muttering all. He's like, just. He's just basically throwing a whole bunch of excuses at the wall to see if any of them stick.

[Ronnie]

He's like, rain manning out, like, bad

[Ben]

excuses, you know, I was like, yeah,

[Ronnie]

guys, Joellen just saw something on her phone.

[Billy]

You're scaring me, Joel. Allen she's like, oh, my God.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, you should, because the mistress just posted in his red interior car two hours ago. So this guy left his mistress and took a picture in the car with the Miss. What the.

[Ben]

He took a picture in the car,

[Ronnie]

but he didn't notice that she's, like, taking a picture, like, what the hell? And then she posted. Oh, she posted on Instagram. Oh, my God, this lady's cuckoo.

[Ben]

Yeah. Meanwhile, Rul in the corner being like, this dress is from Bloomingdale's, everyone. So then they're like, it's beautiful.

[Ronnie]

It's beautiful. R. So Joellen is showing this phone, and she's like, oh, my God. This is him and her. If I had to put a timeline on Brian's. Here it is.

[Ben]

Is.

[Ronnie]

I would start at 1:15. We walk to the bus. Brian and Rula come on board. His mother's ill. 158. Rula tells us, I'm no longer with Brian. He's with his mother. 159. I receive a text message later, Brian's mistress posts pictures of them together. 5:15, Brian comes around to the polo match. Do you need any more timeline?

[Ben]

It's pretty damning and hilarious, so.

[Ronnie]

This is so crazy.

[Ben]

Yeah. And, like, Rula's like, you know, she's. She has no idea. She's still in such denial. Meanwhile, Gary and Brian are having this weird conversation of, like. It's like. It's like male small talk. They want to act like they did not just have a very intense clash at the Studio 54. 4 party. So Gary's like, yeah, my.

[Ronnie]

My.

[Ben]

My father was a state championship wrestler. I was a state champ wrestler. My son will maybe be a state champ wrestler. I got a Black and Decker iron. I like that we have a toaster oven.

[Ronnie]

Who's your father? One of my friends met your father. He said he was a nice guy. Okay, so now you know who his father is. You're so crazy. You can't stop lying. You cannot stop lying.

[Ben]

So they're just making stupid empty powder. Bro powder. And then Gary sees Joelle is like, hey, what's the matter? You okay? She's like, I'm good. It's like something going on. Brian's like, hey, what's. What's something going on? Oh, is it about my ring? It's because they. There was a one to a petting zoo, and they said if you. If you pet the guinea pigs with a ring on, you could kill them. So I took them off. That's. Is that what you want to know, it's like, yeah, okay.

[Ronnie]

It was a petting zoo. I. I went over here. Camel ate my, uh, my ring off. I'm just waiting for the camel to poop. I'm gonna get it out of there. I'm sure it'll happen any second. I'm just gonna sit here and wait for the camel. Okay. You know, tell my wife I'm over in the camel section section I'll be in the camel section. Oh, if she's looking for me, tell her I went looking for a camel somewhere.

[Ben]

Okay, so Joellen is like, go grab Rula and tell Rula to come over right now. We're gonna go. We're gonna go confront Brian. And Brian's. Brian's like, by the way, I. I do have that individual, we'll say, texting me today, which, I don't know, is he talking about the mistress or is he talking about the person at the. At the company that I guess Joellen fired from?

[Ronnie]

Oh. Oh, yeah. So Gary's like, well, normally, I would have cut myself clear. Everything, obviously, it's like, yeah, me too. But, like, look, I made a mistake. I got stuck into it. I got stuck on the way. You know. You know how it happens. You trip, your zip is undone. You. Your. Your penis slips in something. You try and pull away, but it's stuck. You're like, it's stuck in there. You know, it's like, look, she just.

[Ben]

She just texted me right now. This individual. Look, she just said, that was a great blowjob earlier in your car. I mean, I don't even know what she's talking about. She. And then she said, oh, I have your ring. What? I don't even know what she's saying. Thing.

[Joellen]

Huh?

[Ronnie]

I got my ring. It's right here. There's not a ring there. Yeah, there is. There's not. Your father has it. I know your father. I know someone who knows your father, who loves him. Loves rings. Your father loves rings.

[Ben]

You're just showing me a pizza chip. So then Liz is like, all right,

[Joellen]

let's go for a walk. I'm gonna grab Brian, too.

[Ben]

So Brian's like, you know what? You know what it is? You. You feel bad hurting anybody, and then you wind up getting stuck in the middle of stuff. You don't want to get stuck in it. So, you know. You know how that goes. Like, you're not stuck in the middle. You are a perpetrator.

[Ronnie]

You, your mistress. 30 minutes ago. So Liz and Rula walk up to Brian and Gary, and Liz is like,

[Billy]

are you scrolling on Instagram?

[Ben]

Let's go for a walk.

[Ronnie]

Let's go for a walk. Well, you know, like, I think that, you know, like, this is between us, and we're gonna leave now because I'm not gonna do this on camera, okay? So I'm gonna leave. So come on, let's go. Rula. She's like, all right.

[Ben]

By the way, when someone like Liz

[Joellen]

says, let's go for a walk.

[Ronnie]

Walk.

[Ben]

I'm a brick. I'm like, am I surviving this walk? Is my. Where will my body be found? Exactly.

[Ronnie]

Let's go for a walk on.

[Billy]

On Gary's boat.

[Ronnie]

All right, so Liz is like, rule,

[Billy]

I need to talk to you privately. Well, he's leaving.

[Ronnie]

She goes, yeah, with me. Rula. This is. This is on her story right now. Rula, look at this. And so she shows her, and she goes, oh, my God, she put that on the. Right now she's dirty. Did you see what she put on her Instagram story, honey?

[Ben]

Oh, you mean the woman who was known for AI.

[Joellen]

Yeah.

[Ben]

So then Kelsey, meanwhile, the woman who

[Ronnie]

just happened to know that your husband was gonna be gone. The. The. The woman that happened to know that she could lie about your husband in his car at the exact same time, she knew for a fact that he. I mean, come on. On Rula. Yeah, come on.

[Ben]

So, like, across the way, Alicia is like, oh, my God, what happened?

[Joellen]

What happened over there? What's going on?

[Ben]

And Kelsey goes, oh, Brian's mistress is posting in real time. And Liz and joellen are trying to get Brian to actually take accountability of it because he keeps running away. And Alicia's hands her a tiny wheat. Then she goes, take it.

[Joellen]

We all need it. Take a cracker

[Ben]

as shot from behind. So we don't even see their faces. We just see this cracker just, like, appearance.

[Joellen]

She's like, take it. Take the cracker.

[Ronnie]

We all need it. She goes, what a Wheat Thin. She goes, yeah, you're welcome. I know, I know. So back to Ruler. She's like, did you see what she put on her Instagram stories? Like, this is, like, cool stuff. Like, it's not your business to be perpetuating this, Joellen. And she goes, brian, stop fucking saying I'm perpetuating. It's on Instagram. I'm looking through my Instagram. This is not perpetuating.

[Ben]

So Rule and Joellen walk off and

[Joellen]

is like, what the fuck is going on?

[Ben]

Brian's like, I don't know.

[Joellen]

I don't know.

[Ben]

I don't understand what's going on, you know, like, I think we all know Instagram is a hot butt of. Of artificial intelligence. And, like, I actually. I'm not even sure that it's a real person that might be a bot from Russia. So, you know, it's weird. It's crazy that they're talking to me.

[Ronnie]

So Joelle is telling Rula, I'm not trying to hurt you. You're a mom. You're a wife, like me. I'm not trying to hurt you. But it's not done. It's not done. He can tell you whatever he wants, but it's going on. And if you want proof, I'll figure it out. So Brian just walks away. She's saying this all, like, right in front of Brian, which I really like.

[Ben]

And Liz is like, scene was legitimately crazy.

[Ronnie]

This is crazy. And Liz is like, brian, running away.

[Billy]

It's not helping you, Brian. It's not helping you.

[Ben]

Like, I'm not running away. I just don't need to be dealing with this, you know, it's really nobody's business what happens, you know? And I love my wife, whatever her name is, and I love that, you know, I took her to Macy's. Like, no, this was from Bloomingdale's, okay? I took the other one to Macy's. I mean, I took no one to Macy's. I'm trying to make it work with her. That's it.

[Ronnie]

I know where he's coming, where he's going. Look, I track. I literally track. He's figured a way around your tracking, okay?

[Ben]

If you believe enough that this lady has mastered AI, then you should believe enough that your husband has figured out a way to avoid your geo tracking.

[Ronnie]

Yes, he's going and parking in the hospital parking lot and getting a blowjob from his girlfriend. Come on. So Joellen says, again, it's on Instagram. So come on, Brian, Are you still talking to her? And he's like, well, she called me yesterday to tell me something. She goes, oh, really? And did you let your. Did you tell your wife you spoke to her? And he's like, like, yeah, I told her. She called. You know, I called her right afterwards. Like, I haven't spoken with her since the. You know, the. You know. For a long time. For a long time. Yeah, for a long time. I mean, for a long time.

[Ben]

Why are you taking calls from your mistress? If you say it's over and. And your wife knows about it, why are you taking calls? And why do you get a medal for telling your wife? Yeah, my mistress just called you know, just letting you know. She called, and I spoke to her for a sec. Like, what are you talking to her for? There should be no contact.

[Ronnie]

So Joanne's like, I'm done. So she walks away with Gary, and

[Billy]

Liz is like, you know, there's moments where you have to, like, at some point, admit to feed, you know, fucking move forward.

[Ronnie]

He's like, yeah, yeah, you know, exactly. Moving forward.

[Billy]

Well, that wasn't the admitting defeat part, Brian.

[Ronnie]

Okay? You got to do that part. I didn't deny anything. You know, I'm moving forward. That's it.

[Ben]

I mean, you know, even back in April, I sent her a text saying, obviously, I haven't left my family. I'm not going to leave now.

[Joellen]

Yeah, but she's like, but I want you to make clear that you're not about that. Like, she's the mother of your children.

[Ben]

She's like, yeah, no. And, you know, if I haven't left, I'm obviously not gonna leave. Like, no matter what I said before, you know, she's like, yeah, I believe him.

[Billy]

And what the hell?

[Ronnie]

I mean, look, you. Her today, sir.

[Billy]

That's the.

[Ronnie]

No, you're changing the. The conversation to whether you're gonna leave your wife or not. No one's asking you that. They're saying, did you. This lady today, is this still going on? And you're. You're being like, well, I'm not going to leave my wife, so why is it your business?

[Ben]

Of course, Alicia is like, I believe him because she's also being strung along by a man. She's like, yeah, she's.

[Joellen]

She's going to forgive him. And maybe she's got my superpower. I'm okay with forgiving people unless they're like, you know, walking in front of my car. But maybe that's why they. That's. Maybe that's why we like each other. Because I just thought of that right now. Oh, my God. I just realized that's why we're friends. Wow. It's crazy.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You know what? I'm happy because, like, I do like you. Okay? And I love you, Brian. You know, and I know that Lizzie was only speaking from the hot. And Joel is giving you what she sees, which you can't be mad, but I was like, but the thing is, Joellen's friends with the wrong people. Your wife to the wrong people, talking

[Ben]

about your husband took calls from his mistress just yesterday. Her husband is friends with the wrong people, too.

[Joellen]

So he's just like, yeah, you can stick up for yourself in front of Other people. It's like, okay, you gotta stop. Whatever, Joe. Okay, whatever. Joe Allen is good, bad, and different. Evil good. You can't blame Joanna for this.

[Ben]

Okay, well, it's like, yeah, but I do feel like the pot's being stirred because we hear all the time that she's communicating with these people. Would I do that to you? Would I do that to you, Alicia? No. Enough is enough. Like, your husband just admitted to speaking to the mistress yesterday, and you're saying you're well and talking to the wrong people.

[Billy]

I'm not by any means letting Joellen off the hook for kind of dragon, you know, dragging a. Digging a little into Ruler's life. But however, some of the things she's uncovering are real. So forget Jon, okay? Just to trust what it is. Let's face it, my husband loves fishing.

[Joellen]

And so Liz is like, okay, I still want to go for a walk

[Ben]

with both of you. And. And Brandon's like, no, no, we're not going to do that right now. And Rich. Rich goes, you know, there should be better mistress etiquette, don't you think? Like, why would you be posting?

[Ronnie]

I mean, that's. That's true, though, as well. It's like, oh, my God, what kind of monster cheats with somebody and then just does this over and like, post? Because she. She did this again last week, you know?

[Ben]

Well, she's trying to force the issues that way. Like. Like their marriage can crumble. Right?

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Joellen]

Joel goes, can I tell you why?

[Ben]

And Joan sells it right now.

[Joellen]

He goes, because Brian is too much of a. To leave Rolla.

[Ben]

So she wants. She wants them.

[Joellen]

He. So.

[Ben]

So she wants.

[Joellen]

She.

[Ben]

He wants Mistress to do this.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he wants. He wants the husband. He wants Rula to leave the husband. So Brian's like, let's go to dinner. She's like, it's ridiculous. I mean, how long do people perpetuate this ruler. Oh, my God. I can't.

[Ben]

That. It was wild. Wild. The denial next season.

[Ronnie]

Well, do you think Rula has a second season? Probably right? Because this. All this drama is about her.

[Ben]

I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

[Ronnie]

But if there's another season, is she going to have, like, the. Oh, my God. Rul is so brave because she finally walked away from Brian.

[Ben]

I. I really don't know.

[Ronnie]

I really don't know to watch this.

[Joellen]

We'll see.

[Ben]

There's still so much of this even left.

[Ronnie]

Denying that much when it's happening literally right in front of your face. Crazy. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being here. Good times. We will talk to you tomorrow. Bye.

[Ben]

Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

[Ronnie]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's always automatic Paddock with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

[Ronnie]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, She's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

[Ben]

She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride she's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.

[Ronnie]

Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera. Whatever will be Will Lauren Silsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry Aren't you glad?

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

It's Amanda V. Can I have a cat?

[Joellen]

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[Ben]

It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

The incredible edible Matthew sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St Rose. She she's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Charouse. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

[Ben]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Ronnie]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

[Ben]

Tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla plane.

[Ronnie]

Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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