#3341 The Valley S3E05: Lonely Janet

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3341

The Valley S3E05: Lonely Janet

April 30, 2026 | Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive into episode 5 of The Valley’s third season, “Hive Mentality” (alternatively referred to as “Lonely Janet”). The hosts bring their trademark blend of affectionate Bravo snark, humor, and deep reality TV referencing as they recap, roast, and analyze the show’s interpersonal dramas, character developments, and high (and low) points of entertainment value.

This episode focuses heavily on Janet’s ongoing social isolation, group conflicts, a hilarious wax & tan day, and a pool party packed with emotional showdowns, all while the hosts riff on favorite Bravo tropes and the particular quirks of The Valley cast.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Assessing The Valley’s Current Standing (03:44)

• Ben and Ronnie discuss the fan perception that The Valley is suffering a slump, noting they remain entertained despite a potentially less urgent tone this season.
• Ben: “Do I love that Schwartz and Lala are on it? Not really. ...Are they maybe bringing it down? Perhaps. But I do think that the show is by and large still entertaining. I’m still on board.” (03:44)
• Hopeful speculation about Dr. Dre potentially joining the show as Michelle’s boyfriend next season; discussion spirals into Sheena’s notorious hall pass confession for Dr. Dre.

2. Michelle’s Gymnastics Past & Sad Family Story (09:49–15:20)

• Recap of Michelle showing off her gymnastic moves at her daughter’s class, with Ben and Ronnie riffing on her “I grew up in gymnastics, that’s why I don’t know pop culture” claims.
• Ronnie: “This is very Housewives, where a mother is like, okay, I was good at something once, you know? ...so I’m gonna get these kids into what I want to do, and then I’m gonna go off on camera and show off.” (12:06)
• They sympathetically discuss Michelle’s backstory: Olympic ambitions derailed by her parents’ divorce and her father’s mental illness, and the lingering regret Michelle carries.

3. Prepping for the San Diego Trip – Group Dynamics

• Michelle plans a trip, carefully navigating sleeping arrangements and group politics (“obviously I want Janet to be my roommate, that’s why I’m ask jk” – Ronnie/Karam, 16:51).
• Joking about cartoonishly avoiding Janet, Ben notes: “I feel like I’m good with just existing in the same space as Janet and Jason. I don’t need to have a plan or strategy to avoid it.”

4. Sugaring, Tanning, and Relationship Drama (20:04–29:06)

• Kristen, Brittany, and Zach get spray tanned and sugared for Britney’s pool party. Hosts relish Bravo’s willingness to broadcast every nook and cranny (literally) for laughs.
• Deep dive into Kristen and Luke’s relationship standoffs (Luke wants to leave LA, Kristen’s career demands she stays), with Ronnie shading both sides: “Don’t have a baby with somebody in LA then try and, like, change their life.” (27:24)
• Ben: “I can’t stand that here she is, a new mother who is going through it...and that he has...her, you know, whining on the side about how he misses being near a trout...” (28:15)

5. Friend Group Isolation and "Hive Mentality" (31:15–34:11)

• Janet feels left out as she’s excluded from group gatherings, while still slyly competing for status: “I just want you to remember, I’m fun Janet. I had my birthday party at Dave and Buster’s.” (33:52)
• Lala proposes alcohol as the solution: “I think all you and Zach need to do is go out and get drunks together. That’s all you need.” (32:32)
• The hosts note the group’s cliquishness, hinting at shifting alliances and who’s genuinely trying to mend relationships.

6. Lacey's Doomsday Bunker and Orange County Eccentricity (34:38–40:01)

• Lacey’s prepper mindset, including a secret bunker (“not on my property, so don’t come to my house!” – 37:00), prompts riffing on OC conspiracy theories and rumors about flat-earthers infiltrating the cast.
• Ronnie reminisces about real-life OC “housewives” during catering gigs: “They were like pod people. ...In your 30s, and you look like you wouldn’t be idiots, but damn...” (39:19)

7. Janet’s Game Night: Family Feud Knockoff (40:20–47:35)

• Janet hosts a trivia night, modeled after “Family Feud” (with none of the actual format). Jared is the host, meant to channel Richard Dawson but instead going for a “Pat Sajak” vibe.
• Trivia questions prompt more joking about the group’s intellect (“Yellow and blue makes what color?” “Mary Lou Retton!” – recurring Michelle joke, 43:20).
• Ben and Ronnie highlight Janet’s self-deprecating wit and attempts to win everyone over, while Janet processes being left out and trying to extend an “Aldo branch.”

8. Pool Party & Passive Aggressive Showdowns (54:54–83:57)

• Britney’s pool party brings together the entire group (with Domino’s pizza and Britney’s famous buffalo chicken dip—enthusiastically endorsed by Ben, 61:24).
• High point: Michelle and Jasmine pitch a “drag pageant” for the men on the upcoming San Diego trip, sparking debate over whether it’s lazy, problematic, or just a weak party idea.
• The group anxiously anticipates Janet’s arrival, fully obsessed with her, riffing: “Oh damn it. I said her name three times. Now she’s here!” (69:02).
• Zach finally pulls Janet for a long-awaited confrontation: accusations, recounting past drama, and ultimately, disarmament via Janet’s flattery.
  • Janet: “I actually admire that you acknowledge what happened without involving yourself while being supportive of both friends. And that is something I did not do right.” (82:53)
• Ronnie: “It works like a charm...the oldest manipulation tactic in the book, and it just works like a charm. He immediately calms down.” (83:57)
• While the episode ends with a sense of tenuous peace, the hosts foreshadow that “with this group, every time we have a splendid D, it’s always the calm before the storm.” (86:32)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben, on Janet’s perpetual isolation: “I’m very amused by Janet. I know it probably irritates people, but she’s like a funny villain to me. She cracks me up.” (49:08)
• On Kristin & Luke:
  • Ronnie: “Uninteresting people lead to uninteresting fights. ...Now you’re fighting about fishing and how far fishing is.” (72:05)
  • Ben: “There was just something that rubbed me so wrong about the way he kind of acted like she was like this disgusting monster. I mean, Kristen’s a monster, but like you said before, Kristen’s a lovable, funny, crazy monster.” (75:13)
• On Lala and “supporting the outcast”: “Lala’s track record of taking a stand for the outcasts—Tom Sandoval, Janet—it remains unblemished.” (68:24)
• On the group’s intellect: Ronnie: “I need to keep you. You are the dumbest people I know in Los Angeles. Please.” (53:05)
• On Bravo party food: Ben: “For everything we ever say about Britney...doesn’t look like she knows how to make a good buffalo chicken dip. I trust this woman 100 percent when it comes to dips.” (61:24)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 03:44 — Hosts’ take on the season’s quality, worries about cast additions.
• 09:49–15:20 — Michelle’s gymnastics reveal and impactful family backstory.
• 20:04–29:06 — Wax/tan scene, Kristen & Luke’s relationship therapy debate.
• 31:15–34:11 — Janet’s isolation, Dave & Buster’s callback, game night scheming.
• 40:20–47:35 — Game Night trivia madness (“Yellow and blue makes what color?” etc.).
• 54:54 — Pool party kicks off.
• 61:24 — Buffalo chicken dip praise & Southern girl dip expertise.
• 69:02–69:36 — Janet’s dramatic entrance at the pool party.
• 79:12–83:57 — Zach vs. Janet confrontation and reconciliation by flattery.
• 86:32 — Foreshadowing future group drama, “the calm before the storm.”

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Tone & Style

The hosts’ playful, irreverent, and sometimes sharp tone is ever-present. They affectionately lampoon cast members’ quirks (“Mary Lou Retton!” as the recurring trivia punchline), banter about Bravo-verse absurdities, and refuse to take the show or themselves too seriously, all while giving insightful reads on dynamics and growth—when they aren’t distracted by dips or Domino’s grievances.

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Conclusion

Episode #3341 of Watch What Crappens is a delightful blend of sharp Bravo commentary, hilarious character portraits, and thoughtful insights on friendship rifts, relationship struggles, and the endless search for peace in the “Valley.” Whether you’re watching for the dips, the drama, or the dregs of humanity, Ben and Ronnie manage to keep the love for Bravo burning while roasting its denizens to a crisp.

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Next up: More Bravo recaps, Southern Hospitality, and the highly anticipated “Crapin Cabaret” live event.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Who cares what happens when there's so much crap?

[Ronnie Caram]

Watch what crap?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie. How's it going?

[Ronnie Caram]

Good. What's going on baby?

[Ben Mandelker]

Not much, just, you know, getting, getting through the week. We're already here at Thursday, which is. Which is fabulous. Did you guys hear? Cabaret is happening. A crapin cabaret. Forbidden Housewives is happening on June 3rd and June 5th and most the tickets are are already gone. How about that? So be sure to get it. It's happening in New York City at Green Room 42. The Ticketing Link is on our website. It's also on our social media. Come join us. We're going to have a lot of fun just singing and forgetting lyrics all night long. We cannot wait.

[Ronnie Caram]

If ever you want to see us, wanted to see us do some face fallen, this might be the time to do it. So come. Disaster possible. Very possible. But it'll be a fun disaster. Even if it is a disaster, it's so fun. We've been working on it and cracking ourselves up. So come let us crack you up as well. Guys, this is the Valley day. If you want this on Vidya, you can get [e-mail] it's also where you get ad free listening bonus episodes and Discord server and our free blog every week. Just go sign up for that. Makes fun of all the Bravo stuff all over again for you. And today is the Valley Season three, episode five, Hive Mentality.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Hive mentality. You know, people have been pretty down on the Valley. They've been pretty down on it. Pretty, pretty down. And you know, I watch it and I'm like, I don't think it's really that bad. I think it's actually perfectly fine. Like, is it. Does it have the same urgency as it did last year? Maybe not, but I'm fully entertained all the way through. So yeah. I mean, do I love that Schwartz and Lala are on it? Not really. Do I think they are improving it? Not really. Are they maybe bringing it down? Perhaps. But I do think that the show is by and large still entertaining. I'm, I'm still on board. I just want to point that out. And now, especially since we, you know, next year, fingers crossed. Dr. Dre comes in as Michelle's boyfriend.

[Ronnie Caram]

Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm definitely invested.

[Ronnie Caram]

Who saw that one coming? I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

That is the most hilarious. We needed that. We needed that because we need something light and frothy in the world of Bravo gossip. I think are getting dark out there. So.

[Ronnie Caram]

No kidding. You saw the thing about West's cousin killed their grandmother the day before the reunion. That's.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know that news broke while we were sitting here yapping away. Like, I mean, obviously one thing has nothing to like, you know, it's a terrible tragedy and I, my heart breaks for him and his family for that. So like that. I think, I think everyone kind of agrees that regardless of what scandal, what stupid scandal is happening in the world of Bravo, we all agree that that's a horrific thing that they had, they had to endure. And it really did suck that he had to. That happened the night before the reunion and he, you know, there was no way for him. That wasn't. That's a, that's just a shitty, shitty situation for him to be in. But yeah, Crazy, crazy. Turn on that front.

[Ronnie Caram]

Truly. My God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay, so Dr. Dre and Michelle.

[Ben Mandelker]

Michelle, Sonny, you know, that's. That's the sunshine we need. Okay? Michelle, you know, in the. In. In the recording booth, watch Lala all of a sudden become real good friends with Michelle.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, sorry. Pretty close with Michelle. I think this has been going on for a while because they were showing a clip of Sheena in the after show or somewhere. I don't know. I don't know where clips of Sheena are, like, where they're coming from, but they're seen. They seem to still be out. You would never know that Sheena's not on TV because there are still of her all over the place saying stuff. I'm like, where'd this come from? Some after show of something. I don't know. Sheena's on every show now. She'll be on the after show of Game of Thrones, you know, coming up. The. The dance or the dragon show or whatever. She'll make. Well, you know what? I really didn't approve of Renera and the way that she handled that whole situation. Like, I totally would have done something different because I dated the guy from Desperate Housewives.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, I was actually supposed to have a dragon. And, like, I gave my dragon up because I'm like, a people pleaser. But, like, honestly, like, I should be a dragon rider.

[Ronnie Caram]

I fucked a dragon, okay? There, I said it. You heard it here first. Okay? But if you want to know which one, you're going to have to buy my book. So she was on some after show and she was saying her hall pass is Dr. Dre. And they were like, Dr. Dre. And she's like, yeah, that's my hall pass. And I already told Brock. And then it cuts to Brock and he's like, yeah, that's a whole pass. Dr. Dre. So I think Dr. Dre has already been in this circle and she's already trying to fuck him. She's already trying to take someone else's. Else's guy. Because that's a crazy coincidence, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's. I mean it, like, no disrespect to Dr. Dre. I mean, he's obviously a legend and genius, etc. Etc. But, like, is he really a lot of people's hall passes like that? Surprising to me. I mean, I know he got buff and everything. He had that moment where he got buff. I just wouldn't think that he was like, a hall pass. Like, I think like, a hall pass is like, what's his face. Who plays Superman or like Chris Hemsworth or something like that. Like, I just. I'm not thinking like Dr. Dre, but you know.

[Ronnie Caram]

You know what I mean?

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, like, every building has a hall. Every building has a. I like that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Every part got a lid and every building's got a hall, honey.

[Ben Mandelker]

Which actually isn't even true. There are many buildings that have no halls, but I like it.

[Ronnie Caram]

You're not really even considered a building without a hall. Cattle hall. Hall is buildings.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like some bastardization of every pot has a lid. Right? Every building has a hall. Yeah, the halls of. Halls of justice.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, that's happening. So, yeah, hopefully something will happen. You know, the Valleys only. I worry about too much. I don't wor. I don't stay at up nights like this show. Suc. I mean, I do think it's been depressing as fuck this season. It's always had that air about it, though. The Valley is just something I just enjoy anyway. I just, like, put it on and I don't worry about it. I just sit here and let it. Let it wash over me and then wash it off when it. When it's done.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah. I just always like to weigh in with unimportant opinions about.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, it's not important. I just. I just. I just can't compete with an important opinion today because I don't have one.

[Ben Mandelker]

My mind is still really just sort of stuck on sheena declaring that Dr. Dre is her hall pass. Because I'm like, wow, even with your hall pass, you're the. You're the third wheel.

[Ronnie Caram]

True flesher heart. All right, so here we go. Jesse is FaceTiming Lacy and he's wearing a wacky yellow feather hat. And he's like, is this my hat now? Are you going to pick it up? And then we see a picture of her wearing this hat, I'm guessing for some kind of, like, charity event where you have to wear costumes because she's an O.C. housewife.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right.

[Ronnie Caram]

Because why else would you have that? And she's like, are you trolling me? I feel personally attacked.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then we. Speaking of which, we go to Janet and Jason's house and they're cooking dinner, somehow avoiding massive head injuries with their low hanging stovetop hood. And Jason is like, oh, so have you looked into any other schools in addition to the ones we've already looked at? Because I really don't think he needs private elementary school. And she's like, we've got to figure out if we're Moving. They basically have to figure out what to do with the baby, where to send the baby, and then finally we land at gymnastics, where Nia and Michelle show up at, like, kitty gymnastics. And Michelle starts doing these crazy cartwheels. It's like, what's going on with Michelle? We didn't know she could express so much happiness through movement. And she tells us, Isabella just started gymnastics about three months ago. And. And it's always been my idea because I was a gymnast. Gymnastics, or as I like to say, it ain't nothing but a G thing. It. I didn't have a life growing up. My life was gymnastics. So when people make fun of me not knowing things, it's because I only know gymnastics. McDonald's. I don't know what that is. Mary Lou Retton, icon.

[Ronnie Caram]

Can I get a double Mary Lou Redden with a zide of Simone Biles, please? This is what I order when I go to McDonald's. I like that her. Like, I grew up in gymnastics. That's why I don't know what fast food or pop culture is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. I would like one Big Carrie's drug, please.

[Ronnie Caram]

You never passed a McDonald's and said, hey, what's that like on your way to gymnastics? None of your. None of your little friends had something from Happy Meal that you. You were like, what? What's. I was. They put a bag over my head and took me from the house and do gymnastics. I did not see any of the world outside of gymnastics.

[Ben Mandelker]

Every time I saw the golden arches, I thought it was Bella Caroly's bee falling over.

[Ronnie Caram]

What. Does that still make me laugh so much? People make fun of me for not knowing things like Vazvood and Bob Goldzer. What the fuck?

[Ben Mandelker]

I was doing gymnastics in a bunker. This is in the woods.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is very Housewives, where a mother is like, okay, I was good at something once, you know? And now I'm just doing carpool all the time. So I'm gonna get these kids.

[Ben Mandelker]

Kill Sarah figure skating. Yes.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm gonna get these kids into what I want to do, and then I'm gonna go off on camera and show off. It's like when Stacy on Potomac took her kid to walking class for, like, modeling. It's like, I'll show you how to do it. And then she got up there and did it on camera. And that's what Michelle's doing. She's like, go off and dog to your deger that big mag over there, and I will show my moves. And so she's doing cartwheels and round offs and stuff. And then Nia is one of those cheerleaders who is like, only in it for the, like, popularity and the free stickers because she doesn't know how to do any of this shit. She's like, well, I was a cheerleader and like, I don't know really what to do. What was that that you just did? A round off? Yeah, that's what I could do. That's what I. Yeah, me too. That's what I did. No, Nia, do one. Go ahead, do one. Do one right now. Nia, you fucking liar.

[Ben Mandelker]

You mid tier pyramid lady.

[Ronnie Caram]

We know, even pyramid. You were just there to step, touch, step, touch, do the little dances and date a quarterback. Okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

You couldn't even convince us that your arms were an alligator and that you were going to eat us up. Burr.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's cold in here. There must be some. You forgot the rest of the lines. Why am I not surprised? Why am I not surprised? You fail.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, guys, I turn the heating on. Like, no, we're supposed to keep it cold. But the atmosphere, there must be some

[Ronnie Caram]

Tauros in the atmosphere.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, Michelle is a gymnast. Who knew? Who knew? She is. She's bouncing all over the place. She's smiling bigger than we've ever seen her. Like she's in her true happy place at long last. And because it is Michelle, we now get the sad story that goes with it. And it's a real sad one, which is that basically her parents took her to gymnastics and they're like, do you like this? And she was 4 and she's like, I like it. So she started doing it. She did it from when she was 4 to when she was 15 and she was on Olympic path. It sounds like she basically is like, I'm going to the Olympics. All she would think about were the olympics. She sees McDonald's and sees it as like the Olympic podium. Like, she doesn't even take in pop culture. She. She sees the Golden Girls. I was like, those are my competitors. Olympics. That's all she sees. And then at 15, though, her parents separate and she kind of like loses her will to keep going. And I think that's like, honestly, so sad. It's so sad. To me, it's like you, like. Because you can kind of see she lives with this regret of if I had only just stayed with it, I could have gone to the Olympics. But because things got messy in my family, I. I didn't. And then on top of that, the way her family sort of fell apart was Also really sad. Her dad had mental illness and he was never diagnosed. But it sounds like he. He may have. I'm not even gonna say what sounds like he has, but it's. But he had mental illness, and so it's just like a really, really sad story. And, like, it's never too late.

[Ronnie Caram]

Michelle coming for him and stuff like that. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

He was hearing voices and. Yeah. And now, next thing you know, she's stuck with Jesse Lolly. I mean, it's just tragic.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, tragic it is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Dr. Dre out of it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. Yeah, it worked. She's like, I will show you how to round off.

[Ben Mandelker]

I got drop a beat draw, baby.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Michelle tells this story, and then she's like, you know, me and my dad stayed close and especially after my mom died, you know, and blah, blah, blah. So then she's like. Which leads me to believe we did all day. Good. Michelle, you really need work on your, like, your. Your scene planning. I mean, geez, it's like happy, happy gymnastics. Sad, sad story. Let's go on a trip, girl. This is a lot for one. For one scene. I just came let our kids hang out while we drank some wine next door. Oh, this is too much. So she's decided they're going to do a San Diego trip because I guess she knows someone with a house or something. And so she's invited everyone. La La, Britney Zag, the AM Burglar, everybody Grisdin, Janet. And she saves Janet for last. And Nia's like, whoa, what are the sleeping arrangements at this place where everybody's invited? Obviously, I want Janet to be my roommate. That's why I'm ask jk.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I mean, when it comes to group dynamic, I feel like I'm good with just existing in the same space as Janet and Jason. I don't need to have a plan or strategy to avoid it. It just comes naturally to me. Well, that is good, because you will be sharing a room with Snoop Dogg. What? I mean, you. Who knows what's going on in my personal life?

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ronnie Caram]

Of course it runs in this rain. Never rains here. This rain.

[Nikayla Matthews Akome]

No, no.

[Ronnie Caram]

Spray tan duck. Well, thank God you're getting it done inside.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, seriously, thank God things like umbrellas exist, so

[Ronnie Caram]

hope they have umbrellas. I forgot my umbrella. Yeah, you know, for the pool party, there's chance of rain. I'm like, are you kidding me? Weather?

[Ben Mandelker]

Are you kidding me?

[Ronnie Caram]

So Britney is gonna have a pool party, guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I'm so excited about my pool party. But My last pool party was an absolute disaster. I liquorist, didn't know that Janet was going to be the pool party. And. But as soon as Janet walked in, Chris's already yelling like, she doesn't deserve to be here. But so after like, a few minutes, Janet, like, walked out and lets off. Feel so bad. But, like, so fingers crossed we don't have anything yelling at this time. No more yelling. Oh, my gosh. This group really freaks me out a lot.

[Ronnie Caram]

As if Britney's not sitting there orchestrating moments for everybody to yell at each other all the time. This is Britney. This is Brittany at her best. I think when Britney's causing all of this shit and, like, getting people to talk about each other, like, look at her boyfriend. For people that are like, brittany doesn't do that. Look at her boyfriend. It's the same tricks that she used to be up to with Jax. She tells the guy what basically what the problem is and then sends the guy in. And then the guy goes to smooth it over. This guy's got a lot of nerve. I don't even know your name, sir. What are you bossing people around for? I know, but we'll get to that. So the waxer is like, okay, Brittany, you are known for doing completely disgusting things on camera. Have you ever done a Brazilian on camera before? We are gonna wax every nook and cranny of that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God, do I get those books? I love those so much. No, you're not. No, this is a different type of Brazilian experience. It's not a Brazil Biden.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, it is not. Well, I got it done before, but I was very pregnant. Whatever pregnant woman does. You know what everyone does when they're about eight months, they go for a Brazilian.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, so do you want. Okay, so we're gonna have like a landing ship. Say, take it all. Okay. Make me as bald as a biscuit. I don't think my buttholes area. I want to be a bold as a fancy scared.

[Ronnie Caram]

Then Zach is getting tanned and she's like, you're going to love this. I love that. I love the building up from the tanning lady. You are going to love this. It's going to be amazing selling it. He's like, can you contour it to make me look like I have muscles?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's just like, yes, of course. I'll just make it extra orange over here. So then. So then Britney is now getting waxed. And. And it is. The sound design that they do is so crazy because I don't believe this is what we act what it actually sounds like, but we don't see anything. But they. The sound kind of illustrates everything because it's like they don't even do, like, a swift. Like, it's like a. Like, it's like a few terrors that we hear. And you're like, stop it, please.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like the rattle that they use, you know, whenever someone's being a snake. And they're like, someone did something bad. And it cuts to Lala's face and it's. Yeah, it's like that they do kind of show it. I mean, I'm surprised. I just wouldn't be able to do that stuff. I can barely do it when there's not a camera there. But to just be like, okay, I'm going to be fully naked, you know, waist down for all of these camera people and the sugar lady or whatever the wax who's like, all right, let's do it. And it's like your whole hoohah being stripped right there for tv. I mean, where is the shame? Where is it?

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. And then Kristen gets up there. And what's crazy is that while Kristen's getting waxed, Zach just walks. He's like, oh, my. Oh, my God. No.

[Ronnie Caram]

Why?

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, it was very funny, but also like, how do they have this door just wide open for someone to walk in and see someone's vagina hanging out like that.

[Ronnie Caram]

You've ever seen Zaya. And he's like, no, I've seen yours 10,000 times. Come on. And Kristen's like, yeah, he's seen both of ours. Just like, not at this angle.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, I think I just saw your uterus. Jesus Christ. I laugh so hard. But then I started to cry so hard because I started thinking about it. I mean, raining on my pool party.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Zach asks how date night was with Kristen and her loser. And he's like, yeah, from what he was telling me, it was like a good Chad. And you guys are, like, talking. You know, you guys are talking about stuff that's going on. She's like, well, we don't talk about things in front of Kaya because, like, even though, like, Kaya can't understand us, it's important not to fight in front of Kaya. Kristen, let me tell you something about yourself that you don't seem to understand. You will be yelling at your man in front of your baby. You will be. You're Kristen. There is no way Kristen is going to go through life not yelling at that man in front of their child. She is going to. So just start now. Just get the baby used to it so it's not traumatized. I'm very used to it. My mom can still rip my dad a new in the middle of a Costco and I'm fine with it. You know why? Because I was born with it happening. It didn't just start happening late in life.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah. Children will listen.

[Ronnie Caram]

There's my gift. There's my gift.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gift. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Kristen's going on, she's like, yo, I told Luke, I don't feel close to you. When I, like when I woke up with a baby at like 4 or 5 o' clock in the morning, the baby's crying and this and that and the dog's like, whatever. And he's just kind of like, oh, do you want me to take her? Like, what I told him was like, I don't know how to be heard on those things. They really bother me. He's got to stop bringing up how much he fucking thinking, hey, it's LA all the time. Like, hearing about it too often. It's like so frustrating. Like, we get it, you're Van Gogh. You're from a different century, but like, come on, just like, try to enjoy la. And Kristen says that like, even before Kaya was in the picture, you know, he was always like, I want to move to someplace that's like closer to the family with more land, somewhere that's green. But for right now, like, this is where we live. So to hear that, it's almost like on a daily basis, like how miserable he is and how much he hates it here. It's like frustrating and like, I fully support her on this. Like, he's been whining about this for so long, it's like, sir, her career is bound to this city. I don't know what he even does for job. For a job. I don't know what he does for work. I don't know what he does for his money. But I'm getting this sense that he obviously, like, it's not geographically connected to a location, but she cannot shoot her TV shows in the middle of Colorado. I'm sorry, it's just not. It's not an option for her. So you either get with it and you don't complain or you move to where you want to be and you don't make her miserable.

[Ronnie Caram]

So I looked it up. It says he is an outdoorsman and co host of the Balancing act with Kristen Doughty. He lives in Colorado where he manages a 90 acre ranch and is Involved in farming CBD per Reddit users. So I think he had. Yes, I read he was a waiter at Bonefish. Someone on Reddit said. Yeah, so he. I think he used to own some kind of a CBD thing and sold it. So he has, like a little money and then now he grows. He grows the CBD on his own thing. I mean, listen, 90 acres, I get it, but don't have a baby with somebody in la then. And then come.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ronnie Caram]

And then try and, like, change their life. You were in la, you had a baby, and that's where the baby. I mean, once you leave, you're still gonna have to fly back and forth. Just get used to it. And you're on tv. Like, what are you telling her she can't do tv? Then don't be dating a TV person.

[Ben Mandelker]

Exactly, exactly. Or you know what? Like, when the show's done shooting, spend a month or two in Colorado, like, figure it out. It's not. It's not that hard. I'm sorry. It's not that hard for them. People with means and with privilege and they can do it. And I. I just, like, I can't stand that here she is, a new mother who is going through it and has an already enough on her mind and that he has. She has him, you know, whining on the side about how he misses being near a trout or, you know, some beanstalks or something like that. Like, enough.

[Ronnie Caram]

So there is no. There are, like, no singing bass on anyone's living room walls here. I can't take it. So Britney's like, you know, and it's not easy on relationships. I mean, whoever thinks having a baby is fixing things? What a bunch of soakers. Am I right? Flashback to Britney two years ago. Come on, Jackson, just want another baby. Come on, you can do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, date night. Date night.

[Ronnie Caram]

Pregnant mood.

[Ben Mandelker]

Narciss. But I do feel like there's some elements from past trauma that have such shitty, shitty exes like that sometimes, like when you guys, like, get in a fight, like, you go for the jugular sometimes and, like, he's like, not used to that. And I think that's, like, making it hard. That's why I like couples counseling or something, so that way you guys can talk to professional. And I don't have to come here and watch your waxy vagina and listen to you complain.

[Ronnie Caram]

You guys have to see a professional. I can give you the number of the person that I'm gonna use after seeing your vaginas. Okay, that was dark. And Kristen's like my defense mechanism when it gets really bad is just leave, then.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just leave. Hello. I just would like to interrupt the scene and offer up a therapist. Nadia Cominic. Sorry, I don't understand anything beyond gymnastics, it turns out. Apologies. I will go back to my cave.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, after I had Cruise, I was all about Cruise 100%. And Jax made me feel like I did not matter. And after I. After I had a baby with him. And I'm glad that Luke is trying, but also, I want him to understand a little bit more about how she's feeling, because what Kristen's going through is very important to get over before my pool party.

[Ben Mandelker]

Boys don't rhyme. Please don't ride.

[Ronnie Caram]

So she talks about how postpartum is a real and Luke needs to understand what she's going through. And I agree. Luke is a child. I don't know why every man on this show has to be a child, but they are. And I will know. I did notice in this episode that the only happy people on the show are the ones that are divorced. You've got Michelle happy as a clam over there. You've got Brittany. She's happy. Guys, why don't we start looking around and figuring out who's happy and how they got there? It is leaving their children. Men. Their man.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's right. Leave. Leave us. So now we go to the loud.

[Ronnie Caram]

You're right. I am the same way. And that is why I will. I know, but I know, you know, I don't put people through it. I am a man child. And I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna stay over here in my corner and not put anybody through my. Because I'm not a monster like you, Luke. Okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So over elsewhere in Los Angeles, Lala, Janet and Michelle are doing Pilates. At this week's buzzword, Drenched la. They went to Drenched in Atlanta. I didn't even know it was. I don't know if it's there, they're related, or it just happens to be two different companies called Drenched. But I still believe Drenched is going to be a word that we're not going to want to hear very soon.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's the priv of the season.

[Ben Mandelker]

Drenched. Drenched.

[Ronnie Caram]

They're just sneaky with their plugs. We see you Drenched. Drenched is like, all right, guys, we're infiltrating. Bravo. How are we gonna do it?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lala's like, oh, my God, I feel like I haven't seen you forever. Maybe I was too distracted looking at my old Instagram photos when I used to hang out with 50 Cent. And Michelle's like, yeah, so that's really cool. Lala, the guy I've been dating. Oh, hey, Janet. What's going on? Janet's like, oh, yeah. I mean, it's only been, like, two or three days, but you guys had, like, such a busy week. Like, yeah. How do you feel? Like, how do you feel seeing pictures of us all together? Does it make you want to cry?

[Ronnie Caram]

All of the friends are hanging out without you. Janet, how do you feel about it? Roundup. Okay. Okay. Well, for a second, like, I was a little bummed out, but I, you know, I wouldn't want to be invited because especially, like, for something like with Danny and me, I mean, it just doesn't feel like things are good there. So.

[Ben Mandelker]

Santa Clarita also Santa, yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Saved on truly dodgeable gas ain't cheap right now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, Janet, I have to say, Janet kind of won. She did not have to go to Santa Clarita. It's a long drive, a very long drive.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Lala is like, yeah, well, I think all you and Zach just need to go out and get drunks together. That's all you need. You guys will get along again. And she's like, well, you know, Zach and I have been through some very dark and crazy stuff, and I've truly forgiven him for it. This new Janet today, you guys are going to see. I'm trying it out. I really like Zach. You know, we got to a good place last summer. And as far as I know, the reason that he blocked me and did all that is because of Danny and Nia. And, you know, if there's something that I've said and done, I'm not above apologizing for it. And here's how I'll do it. I'll go up to them and I'll say, hi, I'm going to therapy. Would you like to apologize?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I'm not above apologizing for it. Unlike the way he never apologized for trying to murder me and Big Bear two years ago. Michelle's like, well, I do agree that he would be the first step. And Janet's like, well, I'm gonna do a game night. I feel like there's been a lot of heavy conversations, and I feel like this is just a way to lighten the mood and have fun. So I invited Jasmine and Michelle, and I was also thinking, I'm sorry, Jasmine and Melissa. And I was also thinking about Zach and Benji, and obviously, you know, have not seen Danny o' Neill So I feel like maybe that's not the time because it doesn't feel like things are good. I'm just keep on saying that things just aren't good.

[Ronnie Caram]

Doesn't feel like things are good. But I just want you to remember, I'm fun. Shannon and I had my birthday party at Dave and Buster's. Can we show clips of that? Because that was really. I saved up a lot of tickets that day. Who wouldn't want to be my friend, right? Dave and Buster. Roll it again. Roll the. I don't think they saw the skee ball part. Show them the skeeball part.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is it bad if I say, why don't you just invite them, knowing they're not going to come, but at least you invited them. And Lala's like, yeah, all you're trying to do is, like, be cordial, you know? Janet's like, well, I think I should just, like, talk it over with Jason because, like, maybe that is the right time to extend an Aldo branch. I just have to make sure Jason doesn't say the clown word. Oh, I just said it. Sorry. Sorry, guys.

[Ronnie Caram]

So now Jesse and Isabella, makeup meet up. What is wrong with me? Jesse and Isabella meet up with Lacey at Backyard Bowls.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes.

[Ronnie Caram]

Backyard bowls, huh?

[Ben Mandelker]

Backyard bowls. They were right next door to a blue bottle. Why didn't they go in? Why didn't they go in? Such a better option. So it's right next. By the way, they were, like, a block away from the fabric store. Just want to say, such a good fabric store. So they're in, and basically Jesse's like, hey, Isabella, do the phonics dance. Do the phonics dance for Lacy. Do the dance. And Lacey's like, I actually don't want you to force her to do anything for me because she's not a clown at the circus and she doesn't have to perform. Hey, did someone say clown? That's just not right. That's not right.

[Ronnie Caram]

That is bigotry, and I will not stand for it. The producer is like, yeah, Everyone says you're the beta in this relationship, Jesse. He's like, yeah, the beta. She's certainly an alpha. She hates my storytelling. She's very to the point. Lacey's like, yeah, Can I give you some unsolicited and failed parent criticism? Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, God. What? She should read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. What?

[Ben Mandelker]

You're not supposed to teach your kids secrets. It's like, oh, okay. Well, the exciting news is we only have a month or two left before we're officially divorced, because that's good. I'm already bored with what you're saying. I wish I had tricked him into wearing a hat again today.

[Ronnie Caram]

Does this feel any different once it's official? She's like, no, she's still gonna hate you the same. It's like, oh, damn. Okay, well, at least we can be normal about Isabella, you know? So I don't know, they're talking about organizing toys and like that, and she's just basically writing his ass. She's like, you can't even throw stuff away. You're a hoarder. Loser. Loser. Holding onto kids toys. Can anybody believe I'm dating this idiot? Hey, Jesse. Just. Just wanted to give you something. It's like I'm sidekick, so I just wanted to give it. Yeah, it's an eviction notice because you're not gonna live in my house, okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

And she's like, you know what? I am not a hoarder. I just have a casual doomsday bunker. And she like, and by the way, my doomsday bunker, that's a private topic, okay? I don't want people to know where it is.

[Ronnie Caram]

So she says, yeah, cuz he outs her for having this doomsday bunker. And she's like, don't do that, because when it's the end of the world, everybody's going to come to my house. And she's like, so listen, this doomsday bunker is not on my property, so don't come to my house. It's somewhere else.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she says that During COVID her TikTok algorithm was all doomsday bunkery. And so one day she went down the rabbit hole of doomsday things, and she's like, you know, acid tabs and a generator and all this stuff. And she was like, well, I mean, I was like, I just need to buy all this stuff because, like, what if I've been giving it like, so much thought and then like, doomsday comes and then I'm just like kicking myself that I didn't buy all the stuff. So she has this shelter that's off the grid and she's like, yeah, I mean, I don't think it's like nuke proof, but it's like, like doomsday light. So, like zombie apocalypse proof. Which is funny because you know what? Last year someone told us, someone emailed us. They were like, just so you know, I know this girl and she's a flat earther. And then I think actually we said it on the podcast, and I think Lacey herself, I think emailed us Lacey, Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Was like, I'm not a flat earther.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, hey, guys, love the podcast. I'm not a flat Earther. Just, you know, I feel like I forgot about that. I feel like the person, like, conflated doomsday prepper with flat Earther. And I think that's how it all.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, I would like to remind you what was happening during the pandemic with all of these, like, housewives in the OC types who were sending each other stuff that was saying, like, Wayfair is trafficking children in furniture boxes, and if you order certain furniture boxes, that it has children inside of them. And then they were doing, like, it was all that QANON that was coming out into the middle, like housewives. And not. I don't mean real housewives. I mean, like real, regular housewives, you know, case.

[Ben Mandelker]

Real lowercase housewives.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, actual. Actual housewives.

[Ben Mandelker]

Although, Vicky.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, I'm sure it did melt. Melt over into, you know, real housewives. But, yeah, actual housewives. Like, oh, my God, Wayfair is, you know, taking our children or whatever. And so a lot of this was happening during that QANON time. So. So I don't know. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if some flat Earther, you know, some flat Earther light stuff got in there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I have a friend who moved to Orange county and became a literal flat Earther. And she posts about it on Facebook.

[Ronnie Caram]

There are a lot of that type. There are a lot of that type in Orange County. I mean, because I used to do catering, and whenever we would go to Orange county, it was always for a housewives party, like an actual Housewives party. And they were like, they are on the show. They're really rich. They would show throw these huge theme parties, spending all of this money. Everyone was perfect and had these big rubber faces and the things that they would talk about, they were like, pod people. I was like, how do you guys even believe. This is crazy. This is crazy. And you're all in your 30s and you look like you wouldn't be idiots,

[Ben Mandelker]

but damn, it's just crazy that the. That the county that brought us Lynn Curtin would bring us so many people who would believe in things like flat. The earth being flat, who were like, you know what? I'm going back to the Columbus days. Who would have thought?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So now we go over to Janet, and Janet, is it Chica's Tacos, which I wonder if that's from El Paso, because El Paso has a very famous place called Chico's Tacos. So I was a little surprised to see Chico's Tacos. Okay, we coughing, we spinning off. What are we doing here, guys? Is El Paso getting its due? That's my question. So we go to Chica's Tacos and everybody's favorite gay Jared is helping her set up.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, by the way, they're not even in the Valley. Chica's Tacos. I just drove by Chica's Tacos. I didn't know it was called Chica's Tacos.

[Ronnie Caram]

Goes.

[Ben Mandelker]

I drove by it twice. This weekend was jam packed. And I was like, what is that place? And now here it is on the Valley. So Jared is. Is here and he will be channeling Richard Dawson. Well, that was the original plan. And Janet's like, well, I'm so excited for this game night. We decided we wanted to channel a Richard Dawson 1970s family feud vibe for this. And originally we were talking about how Jared would kiss everyone on the lips like Richard Dawson used to do. But then we thought that might be inappropriate, especially given how I've called people out for stuff. So I guess we're just gonna go with a Pat Sajak.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's me, Wacky Janet, making jokes. You guys like that? Making jokes about my dark past. Okay, totally over it. So I invited Neon Danny and Kristen and Luke and I mean, I didn't really expect them to come, but. Because I said no, so. But Jasmine and Melissa said no. Yeah. And I was kind of surprised at that and bummed because they're like game night people, so they would have had fun. I mean, it's games. It's Jared. Who doesn't love Jared? Everybody's favorite gay Jared say something. Jared sucked at it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're just gonna have a fun night to escape from everything. And so they start playing this. It's like not really Family Feud, but it's sort of Family Feud. It's just like questions. And Britney's like, oh, God, you guys know all the questions? Because I think Janet may have some of the answers. Not fire trading. She's like, what? Like, what would I do? Like, invite you here just to trample you? She's like, yes. She's like, I would do that. Yeah, I would. I would. You know, you gotta take a victory somewhere.

[Ronnie Caram]

Lala tells us I'll be awful at all the subjects, especially the one that involved numbers. And they're like, okay, well, what subjects do you do well at? She's like, designer labels. Bravo, chef. If it's like housewives, I can answer everything. Everything.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she's probably studied the application many times. So Janet and Jason are first up, and it's like, okay, these questions, I'm like, I'm actually embarrassed for these people because Jared's like, okay, guys, here's the question. This has nothing to do with Family Feud. It's just a random question. Yellow and blue makes what color? What is this? What is this Remedial Jeopardy that they're doing? This is terrible. Yellow and blue makes what color? I would like to ring in. The color is Mary Lou Retton.

[Ronnie Caram]

Stop.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can't answer that for every question, Michelle. I don't know anything beyond gymnastics, and

[Ronnie Caram]

specifically Mary Lou Retton. I just watched her video games over and over again. Never really watched a bunch of other gymnastics. It was just Mary Lee Redden. That's her only reference name.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's her own name.

[Ronnie Caram]

Just know now. I like that they're coming up with questions off of, like, Ziploc bag commercials, too, because it's not even, like, a real knowledge question. It's just, like, these people have seen commercials, right? Yellow and blue makes. And Jenna's like, green. Nailed it. I'm. I'm really good at this. I'm really smart.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just got that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, that's what I thought it was from. So Janet's like, oh, guys, sorry. My team. She beat me to it. It's my wife. Jeff, don't let Jason sit on the buzzer fighting Janet. He's always gonna let Janet win. Jason's the biggest wuss on this show. Have somebody else do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then we have Jared goes, okay, everyone, what piece of land is both a continent and a country? Highlights are ringing, please. The answer is Mexico. The continent of Mexico. They're like, no, that's. That's incorrect. Oh, I like to ring in. Is it Connecticut? Nope, Not. That's not a continent nor a country. Okay, I'd like the answers. Okay, I'm wet. That's just a statement. Not a country or a continent.

[Ronnie Caram]

Michelle. Mary Lou Redden. No, Michelle. God.

[Ben Mandelker]

I would like to answer. I would like to answer. This is a very easy answer. Hi. I'm here because obviously, we all know Brock and where he's from. The answer is Jesse Metcalfe. Nope. Nope. That's. No, that's not the answer to continent.

[Ronnie Caram]

But wasn't the question, like, what famous people have been inside me? No, that was. That was not the question. All right, I'd like to know is someone from Australia or would like to answer Hawaii?

[Ben Mandelker]

No, no.

[Ronnie Caram]

Frog.

[Ben Mandelker]

Guys, guys, guys. I didn't want to have to answer this, because I'm the host of the event. I already got the blue and yellow question right. The answer is sexual assault. Oh, Janet.

[Ronnie Caram]

Janet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jeez.

[Ronnie Caram]

Janet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Janet.

[Ronnie Caram]

So now there is a math equation thing that they have to do. Five plus five. What is this? Times two minus 12 divided by three.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, so that is 20, 10.

[Ronnie Caram]

20 minus four. Oh, you're right. Minus four.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

16.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. I would have sucked. I would have sucked at this, too. So Brittany's like, I ain't even gonna try that. What year did man land on the moon? And who answers? Michelle.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lacey. Lacey were there, she'd be like, I mean, are you talking about when the movie was made? Because, like, I'm pretty sure that's as far as we got, guys.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, she would have been like, never. It never happened. That is one that. You know, that's one conspiracy that I'm like, okay, I. Maybe because there are weird things, like, how come the flag was waving and not, like, just flying straight up in the air? You know, there's. There's certain things that I'm like, did we land on the moon? Did we? Did we?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't have an answer for that. I'm not a. But I'm. I believe that we landed on the moon. I'm gonna say that we did.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

My money's on the moon. My money is on the astronauts. I think they did it.

[Ronnie Caram]

You believe in them. So Jason's team wins. Actually, I said, Jason shouldn't be by the Buz, but he did win, because once we got past the Ziploc bag commercials, Janet really fell off. She was like, don't you have any more commercials based on Ziploc ads? Jared, do you want to stay my favorite gay yes or no?

[Ben Mandelker]

What was the finger that had a smiley face on it during the old Ziploc commercials? It was a thumb. It was a thumb. Okay, we're back. We're back, guys.

[Ronnie Caram]

You guys, thank you so much for coming. This was so much fun. Remember, I'm Game Night Janet.

[Ben Mandelker]

It.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay. Don't forget, I'm Game Night Chat. Let's show the clips of me at Dave and Buster's, because that was really fun, Janet. Well, y' all are coming to my pool party, right? Everybody's gonna come. I invited everybody because we're going to San Diego, so I feel like we

[Ben Mandelker]

should at least be together, like, a

[Ronnie Caram]

little bit before, like, practice.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's pool, because it's pool party, please, not Ryan. So Janet is like, well, I feel like there's, like, a lot of People I've tried having conversations with and stuff.

[Ronnie Caram]

Stuff.

[Ben Mandelker]

It just has not gone well. Well, I mean, like, what are you sensing? Like, do you think, like, you could even go, like, further south? Things go further south than they already have gone? I mean, no, I just. I can hope. Not. Like, but also with certain people, it's just. It's like, if you can't tell me specifically what I've done wrong, like, how am I supposed to apologize?

[Ronnie Caram]

Janet, you don't know what you've done wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

Go see what they're saying on the Internet, and then you will have a pretty good path forward.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I think they've told you pretty specifically what you've done wrong, Janet. Okay, Janice. One of those that's, like, so hard to fight with because she's like, just tell me what's wrong. Okay, well, you know, you accused me of murder. But what. But what's wrong? Okay, you started my car on fire. But, I mean. But no, really, like, what's wrong? Let's get to the root of it.

[Ben Mandelker]

But is that really the issue here? I don't know. I'm, like, very amused by Janet. I'm sorry. I know that probably irritates people, but I'm very amused by her. Like, she's, like a funny villain to me. She always has been. Like, I. She cracks me up.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, she definitely brings the show back to life, I'll give her that, because this is one of the better episodes they've had. So if this is what it needs, fine. So Lala's like, well, I texted Zach's yesterday just to see if he was coming tonight, but he called me today, and he was, like, giving me a timeline since before the pandemic of, like, things that he feels like, you've done. Like, that man remembers.

[Ben Mandelker]

He.

[Ronnie Caram]

Pepperidge Farm remembers. And Janet's like, well, I'm not nervous to have a conversation with Zach, and I know Zach and I need to have a serious conversation. I just want peace, you know? And I also know he's not going to drop any giant bombshells, because I know it's going to be, you know, every little thing that he's just nitpicking at, and I'm just gonna have to sit there and take it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Janet goes. I mean, can you, like, not move past the. Like, I just don't want it to be, like, by the way, you guys. I just. I don't want to be, like, a hide mind, you know? And he's. And she's like, it's. That. It's like, it's 10 against 1. And, like, you guys have to understand these people, especially, like, Danny and Nia, like, have posted and liked and like, comments on some about Jason and I and Danny saying that, like, Jason likes to see me have sex with other men in front of them. Like, why is that okay? But I'm not allowed to talk about stuff that's actually been done. And so Brittany starts to cry. She's like,

[Ronnie Caram]

why are we going past that? What. What is she. How could you just walk right past? What? So Danny and Nia have posted, liked and comment on some, like, Danny saying Danny likes something that said, Jason likes to see me have sex with other men in front of them. What? And what is this? Because I don't believe Janet. I don't believe how Janet relays stories. So what was the thing that he liked? Did someone call. My guess is that someone called Jason a cuck or something, and Danny liked it. And she's like, how dare you? So you think that. That he likes to see people have sex with me? That's what I'm guessing. Because you just never know what it is with Janet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, at least no one called Jason a clown, because that would really be crossing the line for Danny. So then Jay's. Janet's like, I mean, I'm not mad at you guys. I'm just. I'm just like, you know, I'm just, like, yelling about that. Like, I'm yelling about them, not at you. And Brittany's like, well, it's just like, I'm online, but, like, this person talks about her, and, like, I don't have to be the one that's like, well, we'll see. Let's see. And, like, every single conversation I have, like, shouldn't be about Jan and Zach and Janet and Zach. And, like, it shouldn't be about that. Like, let me, like, enjoy my life. Britney, who always pits people against each other and goes, oops, whoops, didn't mean to tell you that thing. She always has. Like, this person said this about you. This person said this about you. And now she's like, I just hate being in the middle. And, like, it's just so hard on me.

[Ronnie Caram]

These fights are literally all. I think if we listed them all out, we could pin these all on Britney. Because Brittany was the one who went and told Janet that Zach said, you know, he hopes her babe, she does miscarry or whatever. And she was the. I mean, she is the one who starts all of these fights, and then she's like, Walmart in the middle of these fights. Why?

[Ben Mandelker]

Just leave me alone.

[Ronnie Caram]

And it's also very reminiscent of Britney always crying. Like, how come every time I'm around, all you guys want to do is talk about Jax?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, that's not fair to put me

[Ronnie Caram]

in the middle of it. Well, keep hanging out with horrible people and encouraging those horrible people, and you're gonna be brought into the. They're gonna be brought into the fights. Brittany, choose better friends and lovers.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

And husbands.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she's like, janet, sometimes when you have talked to them, and then, like, you'll get up and, like, walk away. You just need to sit down and, like, talk about pool party. Okay. And John's like, I'm. I'm sorry. Wait, hold on. Does anyone have some water I can splash in my eyeballs so it looks like I'm crying? I am sorry. I just. I don't want you guys in the middle of it anymore. I said I just don't want it.

[Ronnie Caram]

But it's a lot for me.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's a lot.

[Ronnie Caram]

And she's, like, seeing Britney really upset really puts things in perspective. Like, I. I do need to try and make an effort to make things more peaceful. I'm just so frustrated, and I don't want this. I want peace. I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you guys over this. What if I got friends who actually knew the answers to those questions? How embarrassing would that be, playing a game against them? I can't. I need to keep you. You are the dumbest people I know in Los Angeles. Please.

[Ben Mandelker]

Commercials. Here comes one right now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Jameela Jamil]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com I sold my car in Carvana last night. Well, that's cool. No, you don't understand.

[Ronnie Caram]

It went perfectly.

[Ben Mandelker]

Real Offer down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow.

[Ronnie Caram]

Nothing went wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

So what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the Catch.

[Paige from Giggly Squad]

Maybe there's no catch.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's exactly what a catch would want me to think.

[Ronnie Caram]

Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

You need to relax. I need to knock on wood.

[Ronnie Caram]

Do we have. What is this table wood?

[Paige from Giggly Squad]

I think it's laminate.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's good. That's close enough. Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up. These may apply. Now it is time for Britney's pool party. And great news. No rain in sight. It's a sunny day. So Zach and Benji are over setting things up and Brittany's ordering pizzas. And Zach, pizza. Like half your party's on a GLP1. So, yeah, I think it's gonna be enough pizzas, babe. And then Luke and Kristen arrive with Kaya.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is a very classy party. It's a Domino's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Domino's?

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm not above a Domino's. You know, Domino's got me to £400. Once upon a time, I loved my dominoes. But if I'm having like a bunch of people over, I'm gonna try and get a nicer pizza. What about you?

[Ben Mandelker]

I think so. I would go, you're on. Yeah, Unless it was given to them for free. But yeah, I'd go for something nicer. And there was something else that was happening at this pizza party that I was like, oh, I have to mention this on the podcast and I forgot to write it down. And now I don't know what it is, but just know that there was something else with this setup that I did not appreciate. Just know it was there.

[Ronnie Caram]

It was Australia. So Luke comes in and he is wearing like knee high white socks with flip flops. And Zach's like, oh, my God, what is this? What are you doing? Like, we want like a neat tan line. Is that what you're going for? Oh, my God, these socks. Maybe that's the reason you're not getting laid.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're all doing shots and everything and Lala shows up and then Jesse and then Lindsay, who is crazy Kristen's friend slash party planner. And then everyone's having fun playing beer pong. And now here come Michelle and Jasmine. It's just like a, you know, the usual parade. So Zach is like, I was just gonna say, I got some text messages this morning and I want to make sure you're okay, Luke. He's like, yeah, I'm the same as I was then. I'm very neutral. And to her that means I'm miserable. I'm like, no, she thinks you're miserable because all you've been doing has been complaining. And we've seen it on camera. And don't act like all of a sudden you've been Mr. Neutral.

[Ronnie Caram]

You are walking around with knee socks and flip flops. What do you want people to think? Yeah, I mean, if that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is. You can't be walking around like that and then being shocked that everyone thinks you're miserable and you are miserable. And I hope Kristen leaves him and I hope she takes half of everything he has, even though they're not married, just because he walks around in. In knee high white socks with flip flops. She deserves it. Mm.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, hey, guys, Tom Schwartz is here. And so now they're talking about his date night at the Belmont and he's like, oh, no, we don't have to talk about it. It's too much. I'm scared.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, just a little boy. I don't know how to date. There was a girl there, A girl with boobies. What was I supposed to say to her?

[Ben Mandelker]

Come on, guys. Oh, I panicked. I kind of like dig somebody and when I dig somebody, everyone else, everyone else just like kind of disappears. So I was like, oh, I don't know. It's like it doesn't matter how beautiful they are. And she was gorgeous. It's just like a lot. Oh, my God.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, so he's saying that he likes this other person, like this other tiktoker or whatever that he's dating. And that's why he wasn't into the girl, even though she's cute. And then we see a clip of her and she's like, you had to have a cigarette outside. And Lala is talking about how cute she was. And Michelle's like, yes. They could be like nerds together. No, they don't get to take the nerd title. I hate when, like, bimbos in Hollywood try to take that. Like, I'm really a nerd. Like, I'm really into, like makeup.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, you're not. And Tom Schwartz is not a nerd. He has glasses. He is not a nerd. Okay. Also you nerd them. Okay, I'll turn this camera around and show you all my board games.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, non nerds. Try to take that over to sound smart.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know, it's like, it's cute.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, you're not in it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Jesse's like, oh, so no Schwartz and Michelle dating. She's like, shut up. Don't, don't. I am dating a doctor now. You'll meet him someday. It's like, wow. So aren't you planning a trip like he said? You guys are planning a trip to San Diego. She's like, no, we are not dating. But you went to a salt scrub together. That's pretty much like you're married. It's like, no, we are not. Please stop saying this. You're going to ruin things with the doctor. Please.

[Ronnie Caram]

Looks like a love match to me. Michelle, you are so silly. So they have like a good energy now, which is cute, I guess. So Britney finishes getting ready and comes down. It's like. And they're going to put Adelaide and she's like, this baby can't stand. Stop staring at me. None of us can stop staring at you. Have you seen yourself crazy? You always. You constantly look crazy. Whoever your stylist is, is really doing you a favor because you are one of the most entertaining things to watch on. You know, I don't even need to have the sound on. Just have Britney walk in and out of rooms in different outfits.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's all I know, seriously. Although, by the way, I meant to say I thought her hair looked quite good when they went to the. The game night. So Jesse then is like, by the way, Danny, Danny, I have a serious question to ask you. First of all, earth, round or flat? Second of all, do you have undies on today? He's like, I don't, don't, can't, gotta, gotta make sure the balls are living free in their last few moments before the snip snip. So then I guess Jesse was about to pants him.

[Ronnie Caram]

But yeah, we see the clip of him getting pantsed in the first episode ever of the Valley. Wasn't it great?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

And now Brittany is like, hi, y', all, here's some buffalo chicken dip. And Nia says, oh, that's her. Oh, go ahead, Ben. What do you. Do you have some buffalo? Go ahead.

[Ben Mandelker]

I remembered. I remembered. I was not going to complain about the party. I was going to say for everything that we ever say about Britney, for all the things, how she gets in the middle, how she stirs the pot, how for all her sweetness and cheer, she can be a malevolent force. Man. Doesn't look like she knows how to make a good buffalo chicken dip. I trust this woman a hundred percent when it comes to dips. When she put that thing out there, I was like, yes, I will come to your house for a party just for the dips. Because you know, she can throw down with a dip.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, she's a Southern girl. A Southern girl who was Raised in the hooters. I mean, that girl knows.

[Ben Mandelker]

She knows. When that giant glass Pyrex of orange, it was just. It was sort of like shapeless orange goo went down on the counter. I was like, yes, I am standing there for the rest of the party.

[Ronnie Caram]

Nia is talking about this trip to San Diego, and she's like, guys, we wanted to do something really fun, so we're gonna have the boys dress up like girls. Isn't that hilarious?

[Ben Mandelker]

And afterwards, if we have enough time, we're gonna go to TradWife land. It's a new amusement park that I already got a season pass for.

[Ronnie Caram]

So basically, you don't have to worry about. None of the rides are scary because we have to stay in the car.

[Ben Mandelker]

Full length gowns for everyone.

[Ronnie Caram]

Bonnets. I heard that. Anne. What's her fun? What's her funds? What's her buns? Anne Hathaway is coming out in a movie and get us trad wife. She's like, this baby's a trad wife. It's a celery who does housework. And Hathaway is doing a movie about a trad wife who gets stuck back in, like, the 1800s and has to learn what a trad wife really is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I loved. I will a hundred percent go see that. That is actually a great, great idea for a comedy. That is. Right?

[Ronnie Caram]

Am I right? God, women's rights. That's. Oh, how uncomfortable.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jeez, that is amazing. Oh, my God. I want to see that. I just got so gay talking about. That's amazing.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, my God. I cannot wait to see the trad

[Ben Mandelker]

wife movie Tribe Life back in time. Y. So anyway, Michelle is like, yes, I think it would be really funny if the men wear heels. I thought it's funny because when. When Nia pitched this idea, she said, we're gonna. We're gonna do something funny and, like, have a pageant and we'll dress the guys up. I thought, like, oh, good, you'll make them look nice. And then it was like, oh, we're just gonna put them in drag. I was like, oh, yeah. Like, it's like, it's not that I'm not offended. I'm just like, it's not interesting, you

[Ronnie Caram]

know, I mean, no reason to be offended, but.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, some people would be like, oh, my God. Like, like, you know, drag is not. It's not a. It's not something for straight people to do. Like, there's no comedy in that, right? Like, it's there, there. And I'm just saying somebody would like,

[Ronnie Caram]

to have a word. And so would Mrs. Mrs. Doubtfire. Okay? No one owns dressing up like a woman. I think if anyone owns dressing up like a woman, it's women. So I think if women are okay with it, we should, we should be okay with it. That said, I don't, I don't really get mean to get into a big drag thing. I just don't need you to see you dress the men of this up like women. Dress them up like men first. Could you just make them look like decent men and then we can work on the women part after?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's, that's all I want. Like, just like let's, let's just, we can work on Luke first. Let's just do some makeovers. Okay?

[Ronnie Caram]

Seriously, I, I'm not put them in drag.

[Ben Mandelker]

It just feels lazy. So Laa's like, yeah, I'm gonna do Jesse. Cuz I'm like, I, I told him that he dresses douchey and he's like really holding on to it. It. And Britney's like, oh, you should definitely do Jesse. And look, we already know what Tom looks like. Oh my God, Tom is so good looking. But he was the ugliest woman I've ever seen in my life. And of course then we get flashbacks to better Tom Schwartz in drag. Better times, Innocent times.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Kristen is talking to her little friend Lindsay and they're like, oh my God, is Janet coming? What? Is Janet coming? Oh my God, what's Janet gonna say? What's Janet gonna do? And she's like, yeah, well she said she wouldn't be here and that's why she left last time. And Lindsay says, yeah, but why didn't she just own her space? Well, I love being friends with people in la.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know, Seriously, just own space. And Brandon is like, hey, be nice, Kristen. Be your sweet lovable self for your love for Britney. Because it stresses her out. It really does. Brandon,

[Ronnie Caram]

get out of here.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're so fresh. I didn't even remember who you were at the moment I said Brandon. I was like, brandon, who is this? I'm just gonna keep talking until I remember who it is. Brandon, shut up. And I like that. Kristen goes, brandon has a very tiny lane in Britney's life and he needs to stay in it. Like mind your business, bro. Yeah, like sir, you don't get to comment on. You literally just got here. You just have to be nice to people. You cannot be weighing in on what people should be saying to whoever.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's trying to jack it up, up. And Kristen tells us yeah. In that moment, had Janet walked to the back and gotten in the pool with her son or done her thing, I would have just stayed away from her, ignored her. Okay, well, you know, no, you need to let those rules be known, Kristen. Like, okay, here's how to deal with

[Ben Mandelker]

me at a party.

[Ronnie Caram]

Walk past me, go to the pool,

[Ben Mandelker]

or I'm going to tell you off. Then I would have held her head underwater until she died.

[Ronnie Caram]

So everybody's like, oh, my God, is Jasmine. Is j. Is Janet coming? Is Janet coming? Everybody, is Janet coming? It. And so Lala's asking Jasmine, and Jasmine's like, I don't know. I haven't talked. Talked to her since your party. And Michelle's like. And Jasmine says, yeah, how was game night? I didn't even go because I just felt like, for me, like, I didn't feel comfortable going to her event after, like, the last things we talked about. Okay, but can I ask you a question, like, because what I'm gathering is that we have a group of people who are all making the same decisions, and there seems to be, as Brittany called it, a hive mentality face. So it does stop with the hive mentality. They're not all copying each other. They don't like Janet for specific reasons. They've all got specific reasons not to like Janet. To be like, it's hive mentality is ridiculous. You guys are the hive mentality trying to get us all over onto this other side and make us believe something that's not true.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Jasmine's like, lala, you've not been around. All she has is Janet in her ear. So of course she's gonna think that we're taking a stance and we're all gonna come together, brother. She's like, no, baby, I beat to my own drum. So anyway, she. Jasmine says that she texted Janet about the game night and was like, we're gonna sit this one out. So you have Brits. And Lala's like, at this point, I feel like I'm one of the only people who, like, doesn't have a beef with Janet. And if I did, I certainly wouldn't be passive aggressive. I'd just be aggressive, like, ovary up and say what the you want to say and have a productive conversation. So lala's track record of taking a stand for the Outcasts, Tom Sandoval, Janet, it remains unblemished.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, she loves a villain bigger than her, for sure. So they're still talking about texting Janet, whatever. And Jasmine is saying Lala was at lot Jasmine goes up to Kristen and Zach. Check you guys. Lala was asking me about him, me and Janet, because she, from her perspective, she felt like you guys. And Kristen goes, well, we were conspiring. We were conspiring. She was. No, not conspiring. She didn't say conspiring. Yeah, but that's what hive mind insinuates. I mean, do you make decisions for yourself? Do you make decisions for yourself?

[Ben Mandelker]

Hey, you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Hey, there's a gardener next door.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hey, leaf blower.

[Ronnie Caram]

Do you make decisions for yourself?

[Ben Mandelker]

Whatever you want me to say. Exactly. So then, guess what? Janet and Jason have now arrived. And Kristen's like, I'm so tired talking about Janet. She's not even here. Why are we even talking about this? Janet, Janet. Janet. Oh, damn it. I said her name three times. Ah, now she's here. Damn it. So here comes Janet. Janet's walking in. Everyone get ready. It's Janet. It's Janet. Emerald, be calm. Everyone be calm. Okay, we're going to keep everybody chill. There's buffalo dip and Domino's pizza. No reason to be angry. The sun is out.

[Ronnie Caram]

Who can be Maddy? Who can be mad with two for five? Hot and ready.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Danny is talking to Kristen, and he's like, so, by the way, went to the doctor, they asked. They asked what my dietary restrictions are. And I said, said it's a really toxic thing for me to have a coperna around me. And I just saw two copernas walking in. Hey, smell this flower. Oops. You just got. You just got. You got some water in your face. You got squirted. It's like, you really are a clown. Hey, now. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Let's not say things we can't take back.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Tom is talking about diet stuff with Danny. He's like, well, I just need to, like. Like, I don't know, getting workouts in because, you know, if I could cut beer out of my diet, maybe I'd look good. He's like, I know. But you know what I had to do? Instead of beer, I'll have a White Claw. Well, that's what health is, brother.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what health is. Oh, that's my least favorite thing in the world. They hurt my stomach. Oh, I'm gentle. Yeah, they used to hurt my stomach, too, for some reason. But you evolved. I did evolve. I am an evolved man. Thank you so much for finally acknowledging that. I evolved to be able to drink White Claw regularly. Yes.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Zach is really keeping it going today. This show, it's just like this. He's just going from person to person, like, we need to have a talk, because this is a television show, and I seem to be the only person here who knows. Did you see that? She ordered Little Caesar. She ordered Domino's. Who does that? Okay, Luke, I wanted to talk to you about your relationship because it's something about you being able to go fishing or something. And then you said it was, like, too far once you could go fishing. And he's like, no, that was none of the conversation. Like, Kristen doesn't even listen to me. She doesn't even fight about what's really being fought about. I know. That's why I said, you need a third party there. But I offered fish. Fish don't talk.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm saying, like, I don't. If you can actually get near them, which we're not. I don't like that. Luke is acting like Kristen's crazy. Like, he never brought up fish. Fishing. You literally brought up fishing last week. You brought it up to us. You brought it up to her. You're like, I haven't gone fishing. And when I did go fishing, I felt bad the entire time because I felt guilty. And now you're acting like, no. What? Fishing? That's not even an issue. It's like, it was an issue for you. We had to sit and listen to you complain about not having enough trout.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, because Kristen's side is that he's complaining about fishing, but she's like, why are you complaining about fishing? Go fishing. And then you're like, no, I can't go fishing because now it's too far car to go fishing. Spike, this is. This is the problem with marrying someone like Luke or being with someone, having a baby with someone like Luke. Uninteresting people lead to uninteresting fights. I mean, you're with this guy, and now you're fighting about fishing and how far fishing is.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. I seem to remember the show Sorority Life on mtv, which was like, hey, let's look at a sorority of deeply uninteresting women. And somehow that season ended, and I was more riveted than I'd ever been in my entire life.

[Ronnie Caram]

Life. So it's okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sometimes it works the other way around. Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, okay, corrected.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maybe uninteresting women can lead to interesting fights, but uninteresting men will never become interesting.

[Ronnie Caram]

It is. I'll tell you what's interesting right now. It is storming out there. Look at it. Looks like I'm in the dark. Yeah, I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

It is Dark over where you are.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like nighttime over here, and it is pounding down that way. Pounding. God is angry.

[Ben Mandelker]

A. I hope you don't get a tornado.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they're talking about the stupid relationship, and Zach's like, yeah, you need a third party. Like, I think if Kristen her from a trained medical professional. Like, even if it's what we said a thousand times, like, it'll land better coming from someone you're paying.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, Kristen would say she shouldn't need counseling. Like, we shouldn't need a therapist. We should be able to talk to each other. But, I mean, from my perspective, if it turns no, she's probably saying, like, yeah, I'll go to therapy, but it sucks because we shouldn't even need to be like, if you just talk to me, we probably could have, like, cut this off at the pass. But now he's kind of, like, blaming her for the reason why they're not in therapy. And I just feel like it's not coming from her. I feel like Christian is someone who'd be very much into therapy or at least, like, sitting under a dream catcher and talking about things.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, that's different than therapy, but, yeah, maybe. I mean, look, here's the thing. I think Luke is a total schlub, but I've also been watching Kristen for over a decade, so I'm not gonna sit here and be like, yeah, Kristen's easy to deal with, because. Yikes. I mean, Kristen is having a very calm year this year because of her baby. But let's not forget Kristen is Kristen. So I imagine it is difficult to deal with Kristen, but she can't be with a baby. Like, she needs to be with someone who really is not a child. I don't know. What do you want me to say? Because, yeah, now she's have. She can't even be fun, mean Kristen. She has to be like, oh, and, like, take care of you. I need Kristen to be crazy. And whatever has happened to Kristen since she met you, I'm not getting crazy Kristen. I want crazy Kristen back. So whatever you're doing, stop doing it so I can get the crazy one back. I don't know if she needs to dump him and just go be, you know, crazy Kristen again. I don't know, but I need it back.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So anyway, Zach is basically still saying, like, yeah, you guys are great and everything, but get therapy. And Luke tells us, look, I've never had a kid before.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, God, here we go.

[Ben Mandelker]

You don't say.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't have a handbook. Babies don't come with a handbook. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, I've never been with a woman through her pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. I mean, this is all new to me. And I know that this version of Kristen, this is version of Kristen that hopefully won't last. Like, it doesn't make me easier on me, but overall, I'm not a quitter. I don't like this. Like, oh, well, hopefully this version of Kristen doesn't last. I like, this is still Kristen and you should be. Don't be like, oh, like, ugh, I can't wait for the old Kristen to come back. Like, how much pressure does that put on her? I feel like, I feel like just say. I've sure. Say, I haven't been through this before, but I'm trying my best. I just want to support her. Not, like, ugh, I can't wait for her to stop being so annoying because of her body and, like, her hormones. She just come back to being like the normal. The normal person I knew. It's like, I just think that's so condescending and patronizing and just does nothing but to make her feel more isolated when she hears things like that. Like, yes, she may be feeling more emotional, but she's. This is still who she is. And, like, you can't. Like, I don't, I don't. Like, there was just something that rubbed me so wrong about the way he kind of acted. Like she was like this disgusting monster. I mean, Kristen's a monster, but like you said before, we. Kristen's like a lovable, funny, crazy monster. And don't make her feel bad for her. It you married it, you or you got engaged to it. You went in fully. Well, you. You had as much point of reference as we all have had. And now you can't be shocked by anything with Kristen.

[Ronnie Caram]

And also, I hate this, but overall, like, I'm not a quitter. Oh, don't do me any favors. Just go, you know, don't do, like, I don't want to be the thing that you're like, oh, I'm not going to quit that. I really want to, but I'm no quitter. I'm no quitter. I'm not a jog. You know what I mean? Yeah, Like, I'm not going to quit this. I'm going to keep going. No, just don't jog. Get the out of here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, not a quitter.

[Ronnie Caram]

Off. So now they go back to join everybody else and people are playing beer pong and Nia says, I'm a great ping ponger. I know how to do a roundhouse. That's gymnastics, honey. Damn. So many sports in one week. God. So then Brandon goes to Kristen. He's like, how you doing, Kristen? With, like, you know, kind of letting go a little bit, because I know that that's kind of your issue right now. You want to talk about that with me, Kristen? Maybe let go, Maybe leave your house a little bit, Kristen?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, the nanny's upstairs with Kaya. Oh, yeah. Because when Brittany told me about her, I was like, well, I feel like Kristen's gonna have the hardest time just letting go. Your name's Kristen, right? Sorry. She's like, yeah, I cry all the time. I mean, when I'm gone, when I know I have things to work, like, I have to do things, like, work things. I'm like, thank God we have someone. But then I literally asked Luke, like, luke, what did I ask you? What did I say? I said. I said, do you think Kaya. Do you think she's with Alondra all the time? I said, do you think she remembers me? And Zach goes, yeah, she doesn't. She forgot you like, you like Zach. Don't say that. Don't say that to kids. Kristen.

[Ronnie Caram]

Zach. I mean, Luke can't even have cute couple repertoire. She's like, hey, Luke, what was that thing I was saying? He's like, what? Remember that thing? No. About Alana? Nope. Alandra. No, that. That doesn't ring a bell either. You know the thing? I was like, oh, do you think she remembers me? I mean, yeah, you did say that. Was that, like, a story I should remember? Stupid story.

[Ben Mandelker]

Stupid. So now, basically, by the way, at some point, they did shots. I don't know if it was here or earlier or later, but they did shots. And Kristen did the most Kristen thing ever. When she did her shot, she took her shot. When she put it down, she goes. And I was just so happy that she did our impersonation of her. So now Zach is like, oh, I feel like this is one of those moments where I'm just gonna, like, I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna, like, go up to Janet, be like, fine, let's do it. Johnna, do you want to talk? Let's go over to that sofa over there and talk. It's like, oh, my God. Yeah, okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

And that's the funniest thing about Janet, because everybody's like, oh, my God. Is Janet coming? I hope Janet doesn't come. Janice coming.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God.

[Ronnie Caram]

Janice's coming through. The door right now. Janet's coming through the door. It's been, like, half an hour. We've not heard a peep out of Janet. She's done nothing but, like, sit there and make small talk with somebody by the window. Terrifying. It's so terrifying. Crying. So, yeah, he pulls her for a scene, and she's having a really good conversation that he interrupts. She's like, so, Brittany, why do you have mosquitoes and I don't have mosquitoes? I don't know, because I was praying.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. But I'm hoping that the rain doesn't come and wash them away because they're my friends now. So they go, Zach and Janico to talk. And he's like, well, I feel like you're very glowing and. And I don't know. That's really all I can say. He's like, thank you. Thank you so much. I'm pretty happy I got the answer correct. The answer is green, blue, and yellow together. And I feel like, you know, every year is a lesson. And my lesson, I feel like, from last year was like, shut the up and listen a little bit more. And this is the thing. I'm, like, working on my own, like, separately from whatever issues it creates, just, like, working on my own self. So I'm, like, new and better now.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay, well, this is a hard conversation for me to even start because, like, I don't even want to do this again. She's like, well, but maybe there's a thing where we can, like, coexist in a way, you know, Like, I would like to have fun, whatever that feels like for you. For me, it's saying, britney, you've got mosquitoes and I don't. Mosquito loser. What?

[Ben Mandelker]

What?

[Ronnie Caram]

Do mosquitoes only choose your house. Loozy, loozy mosquito. Juicy. You really suck at this, mosquito lover. See? Wasn't that fun? Mosquito shaming. You should try it. And he's like, okay. Okay. Well, if you have anything specific that I can apologize for, I would love if you got specific. And he goes, okay, well, let me just start with this thing about pool day, because you were like, oh, no. And then Kristen kicked me out of the house. And then you made it seem like it was a huge thing. And then the language you use and, like, what you say to other people. Janet. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Zap. Zach, Zach, reel it in. Zach, you're a little. You're a little aggro here, Janice. Literally, like, maybe give me something specific. He's like, you need to. The off is what needs to happen to you. Right? We're not yelling yet, Zach. Calm it down, buddy.

[Ben Mandelker]

I should be more careful, and I should only use specific facts of exactly what happened and never paraphrase how I feel in that situation. Okay, but you know what? Like, sorry, we're going to other people. Okay. How do you feel about me and Danny right now? She's like, well, I.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, no, we are going to other people. We are.

[Ben Mandelker]

Go ahead. I'm not gonna talk about. I don't talk about sexual assaulters. I mean, I'm sorry. I mean, I don't talk about clowns. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm just. I'm not gonna do that with you right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, well, yes, you are. Yes, you are, missy. You get right back in this car. We're turning around.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lala's like. Well, he's, like, very detail oriented. Like, I couldn't even keep up. Look at that. Like, Zach's receipts on Janet are longer than the ones you get at cvs. They're longer than their seat here. And she has, like, a prop receipt that she's printed out.

[Ronnie Caram]

Wow, A prop. We've resorted to CVS receipt prop comedy.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, we got.

[Ronnie Caram]

I know that. I know that joke has been used for 10 years way too many times, but it will help if we actually get one from the store. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yep. Yeah. Seriously.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they're making fun of them because Zach is, like, really going off, and it's like. Yeah, because when you take things to a certain level, you want destruction, Janet, and you want to destroy the other person, and then you'll accept them back. You know what? You're. You're so right. And you're so on a pedestal. You're so on a pedestal, Janet.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't want to be on a pedestal. I mean. Yes. Did I get the trivia correct? Do I know that blue and yellow make green? Yes, I do. So, like, I could be on a pedestal for that, you know? But do I love Dave and Busters? I do. I could be on a pedestal for that. But, like, no, I don't. I don't want to be on a pedestal. I mean, here I am, showing through my actions that I'm moving differently, I'm speaking differently. Isn't that what they're asking of me? I'm ready to apologize as long as we can end this conversation. And I just wish. I wish I had never used the words that I had used. I actually wish that because you are friends with Danny, Nia and Jasmine, And, Melissa, the way you handled everything last year, I actually admire that you acknowledge what happened without involving yourself while being supportive of both friends. And that is something I did not do right. And now Janet's smart because she has learned the way forward is just to flatter someone. Ugh. You handled it so well, Zach. I wish I had handled it. Can you teach me the ways? You are so smart. You are so emotionally sensitive. I should just learn from you. And I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, I like this new Janet. Yeah, Great, great work.

[Ronnie Caram]

It works like a charm. And it's like the old, oldest manipulation tactic in the book, and it just works like a charm. He immediately calms down, and he's like, okay, but, Janet, you know what? Like, you know, you. This is, like, the gem that I love. Like, this is the Janet that I wanted back. Like, welcome home. Oh, my God. Like, you were finally brought back. She's back, everybody. The Janet we all love. Game. Game night. Janet, she's back.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Like, that's all I wanted to hear from you. So Jesse, of course, comes over to ruin it. He's like, you guys have been talking, like, for 45 minutes. Let's go in the pool. And then he, like, dives in the pool. And Zach is like, I hate straight people so much. She was like, I know.

[Ronnie Caram]

Janet goes, I know. So then lala is talking to Michelle. She's like, do you get embarrassed easily about zexuals Dove? But otherwise, no. Like, so, like, if you queefed or something, you'd get embarrassed?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, no. Oh, my God. System error. I don't understand that. And Tom's like, am I allowed to laugh? I am leaving. See you on the next episode. So then Brandon and Britney join Jesse in the pool. And Janet's like, dude, one of you guys have, like, a weed pan. So she winds up, like, smoking some weed with. With Kristen. And Kristen's like, oh, Janet wanted to smoke. And I was like, that's a really great idea right now. This is not an olive branch. This is not a peace pipe. It's literally just. It's a pipe. It's an I'm still angry at you pipe. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they're cracking up and enjoying each other, which is crazy. So Janice, like, I'm back in, baby. And then Luke says, I want to go pee in the pool, and I'm ready to go, which, I don't know, is a joke broke, so now it's time to go home. And Jasmine's like, okay, who's gonna kiss Melissa? Who's gonna kiss. And they're like shorts and Michelle should kiss. And they're like. Jason says, well, Jesse said you could do it. She goes, as if I need his permission. Come on. So she says, you guys kiss. Lala. So Lala and Tom give each other a peck. And Mala tells us this party, but a total success. But with this group, every time we have a splendid D. It's always the comp before the storms. And we see them on a roller coaster where somebody is verbally assaulting somebody from a car. I don't know if is it Danny like saying talking to Jason or something in the the like, I would have cheated on my wife too. Whatever. Whatever. It looks like it's gonna get ugly.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's gonna be a roller coaster of emotions.

[Ronnie Caram]

But I'd like to congratulate Janet on this massive comeback. I mean, it was pretty good. She's friends with Zach again. She's friends with Kristen again. She's back in. Guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

She did it.

[Ronnie Caram]

She did it.

[Ben Mandelker]

She.

[Ronnie Caram]

See how long it lasts, but she did it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

That was a tough road to hoe.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tough. Yeah. Everyone, thank you so much for being here. We really appreciate you. And stick around because up next we will have Southern hospitality and go get your tickets to our cabaret. So let's sell these shows out. Talk to you all next time. Bye.

[Ronnie Caram]

Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

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