#3346 RHOA S17E05 Part One: Texas Read ‘Em

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens #3346

RHOA S17E05, Part One: Texas Read ‘Em

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: May 4, 2026

---

Overview

In this lively and shade-filled episode, Ben and Ronnie recap The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 17, Episode 5, as the ladies embark on their much-teased Dallas (“Dynasty”-themed) cast trip. The hosts hilariously dissect the episode’s pacing, the cast’s ongoing chemistry issues, the return of Bravo crossover icon Adrienne Maloof, and the trip’s infamous room assignments. The duo praises and critiques the franchise’s recent casting decisions, marvel at some deliciously catty confrontations, and reminisce about vintage TV references peppered throughout the episode—all while providing their trademark banter and Bravo-deep-dives.

---

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Episode Structure & Pacing (04:39)

• Ronnie voices that most of the episode was "terrible," only coming alive in the final ten minutes with the Angela vs. Pinky showdown.
• Ben feels production is stretching footage due to a strong confrontation coming too early in the trip:

  "They just were trying to make all these scenes stretch... Let's make this a 10-minute episode." (04:42)

• Both agree the "soft reboot" casting from last year wasn’t bold enough, especially calling out Shamia and Kelly’s lack of impact.

2. The “Dynasty”/Dallas Theme & Adrienne Maloof’s Cameo (09:25, 12:17)

• Extended riff on the campy 80s soap opera theme as Cynthia organizes a Dallas/Dynasty-themed trip.
• Bafflement (and amusement) at Adrienne Maloof making a random cameo in Atlanta for a tequila infomercial:

  "Why is Adrian Maloof here? ...she has a big Christmas party like Kathy Hilton does, and so she invites tons of Bravo people." (11:31)

• Amused horror at Maloof’s failed liquor brand and the idea of black cherry margarita tequila ("Nobody wants black cherry flavored tequila. That's crazy." —Ben, 20:20).

3. Room Assignments & Pool House Drama (46:05–49:21)

• Cynthia’s attempt to avoid "room drama" by pre-assigning rooms backfires as Kelly and Shamia feel snubbed with the pool house.
• Ben: “Of course, I'm not Real Housewives level. I get it.”
• Shamia’s “trucker family” background is mocked as her aversion to pool house accommodations contradicts earlier claims of blue-collar grit.
• Ronnie:

  "Suddenly like, I can't... sleep in the pool house." (49:05)

4. Cast Chemistry, Breakout Moments & Confessional Critiques

• Pinky vs. Angela ("the showdown" at ~06:28):
  Both hosts agree this delivered the most entertainment, with Angela dominating the fight and Pinky managing a few solid comebacks:

  "When she said...you owe your employees money, she goes, I owe you a new lace front. That was funny..." (07:01)

• Critique of Shamia’s “overly try-hard” confessional energy and lack of natural wit:

  "She really does think she's funny. And she'll do these bits in the confessional that just seem to go on a little too long..." (08:50)

• Assessment of K. Michelle's role:
  Her glam squad dependency and tendency to self-isolate are seen as a detriment:

  "She's obviously very insecure about her appearance... like, you wound up on camera anyway, so get in there." (24:47)

5. Financial Transparency & Bankruptcy Banter (29:04–31:42)

• The hosts delight in the surreal scene where multiple Housewives discuss bankruptcy filings while aboard a private jet:

  "There's just something so funny about watching two women talk about...bankruptcy while they're flying on a private jet. Truly, it's like, it's crazy." (30:04)

• Ben and Ronnie facetiously read out actual bankruptcy types, jokingly inventing “Chapter 27” for reality TV stars.

6. Cast Member Shenanigans on the way to Dallas (40:34–42:37)

• Shamia’s bizarre advice about truckers peeing in cups at rest stops is side-eyed by the hosts.
• K. Michelle’s aversion to gas station toilets and the group’s slow, meandering road trip to their destination provide more roast material.

7. Room Assignments, Aftermath and "Worst Rooms" (52:46)

• Ronnie argues K. Michelle’s suntrap of a room is the true worst, not the much-maligned pool house.
• More general outrage at the trope of “bad rooms” on Housewives trips.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

On Pinky and Angela’s Showdown

• Ronnie: “That was. It was amazing. I mean, it was. I was laughing out loud. I mean, Pinky had a few good shots in there too, but really it was Angela go to.” (06:28)

On the Show’s Format This Week

• Ben: “This episode...it was clear they didn’t have enough. The big showdown...was the climax. So they have to put that at the end.” (04:42)

On Shamia and Kelly’s “Pool House Protest”

• Ben: “Nobody cared that you weren’t there...you made such a boneheaded decision...that you missed the best scene of the season while you were out by the pool.” (05:08)
• Ronnie: “So much for someone bragging about being a trucker...I can’t stay in a pool house.” (49:05)

Ronnie Roasts Confessionals

• “She really does think she’s funny...you shouldn’t be working this hard to do this.” (08:50)

On 80s References Overload

• Ben: “Half of this cast is like, what's Dynasty? What is that?” (09:50)

Bankruptcy on a Private Jet

• Ronnie: “There’s just something so funny about watching two women talk about...bankruptcy while they're flying on a private jet.” (30:04)

On K. Michelle’s Glam Withdrawal

• Ben: “If you're gonna be here, play. It's like going to game night and then just sitting in the other room, you know?” (24:41)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Episode structure & pacing: 04:39-05:08
• Dynasty/Dallas theme, Adrienne Maloof cameo: 09:25-14:50
• Bankruptcy discussion on the jet: 29:04-31:42
• Room assignments & pool house drama: 46:05-49:37
• Angela vs. Pinky showdown build-up: 06:28-08:50
• Shamia’s “trucker” cred & confessional critique: 08:36-09:25
• Discussion on K. Michelle’s participation: 23:15-24:47

---

Original Banter & Tone

• The hosts deploy classic Crappens sarcasm, TV nostalgia, and self-referential jabs (“I will say this weekend I got a lot of updates that it was like, the 40th anniversary of Diane Carroll joining the show...”—Ronnie, 15:30).
• Their mutual exasperation with cast chemistry and show “filler” segments is leavened by affection for the franchise and acid humor.

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of Watch What Crappens offers an entertaining, in-depth, and sharply funny look at RHOA’s Dallas trip. Ben and Ronnie excel at balancing affectionate ribbing with sharp critique, providing fans with inside jokes, context, and quotable moments. The negatives (draggy pacing, ineffective newbies) are lovingly roasted, while the high points (Angela v. Pinky, outsize personalities, Housewives tropes) are celebrated for their entertainment value.

---

For more, including the legendary fight and trip drama blowup, listen to “Part Two” of this recap!

Listen on your preferred app or catch bonus content at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.

Transcript

[Gab Tech Advertiser]

The youth mental health crisis is growing and social media is a major driver. Kids are spending up to nine hours a day on screens, often unsupervised, and studies show a direct link to anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts. That's where Gab comes in. Gab offers safer phones and watches for kids with no social media. Tailored to every age, offering the right tech at the right time or tech in steps. From GPS tracking enabled watches for younger kids to phones with parent enabled apps for teens, each device allows kids to more safely grow their independence. Visit gab.com getgab and use code getgab for an exclusive offer. That's G-A B b.com getgab Gab tech insteps independence for them, peace of mind for parents

[Ben Mandelker]

we know a lot of you listening are in healthcare and to this we say thank you and we appreciate you.

[Ronnie Caram]

So if you do work in healthcare, you probably already know this, but in case you don't, it's Nurses Week this week and it's kind of a big deal. It's a time to celebrate the people who play such a big hand in keeping us healthy while also managing to be your favorite person in the room. They're funny, knowledgeable, kind, compassionate. Nurses are just the best.

[Ben Mandelker]

And to celebrate, Figs just dropped new limited edition colors and styles that are seriously so cute. But there's even more good News. Everything is 20% off during nurses Week.

[Ronnie Caram]

From scrubs to outerwear to footwear and beyond, Figs is the healthcare apparel brand. They truly get what healthcare professionals need to look sharp, feel good, and take on just about anything.

[Ben Mandelker]

Figs are really stylish, really good looking and I love when I go to the doctor and I see people wearing figs. I'm like, yes, got it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Figs.

[Ben Mandelker]

You'll never look better working than you do in figs. Why show up in just your plain scrubs? Don't be basic. Get some figs.

[Ronnie Caram]

So if you're in healthcare or you know someone who is, don't miss out on 20% off for Nurses Week happening May 6 through May 12. Go to wear figs.com that's 20% off during Nurses Week at wear figs.com. Watch what happens. Watch what happen. Who cares what happens when there's so much Watch what happens. There's so much that happens. Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crap ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today to talk about Real Housewives of Atlanta. It's Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?

[Ben Mandelker]

Hi. What you doing?

[Ronnie Caram]

Just hanging out with you. Starting off a brand new week, we're so excited we added a third show to our cabaret lineup. It's Watch what happens. Watch what happens at Green Room. At the Green Room 42 for forbidden housewives. It's gonna be on June 3rd. June 5th, 3rd. And the June 3rd is sold out. June 5th, the Early Show. Sold out, but we added a late show. So go to our website or go check out our social media and ticket links are there. Get your tickets before those sell out too. Also New York City. Yeah, New York City.

[Ben Mandelker]

Also you can buy live stream tickets for each shows so you can get those at the same link. Just go to our website and you'll see the link there.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes. And Ronnie himself just wrote another read what happens that's available on Patreon. It's free for all the most important

[Ben Mandelker]

literature of our times. If you're not reading that, that is very important. Lit Rachor. Get on it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, yeah. Get into it. Get into it. And today we have Amazon Live and that's at 1:30 west co. And we have a crappy hour at 5:30 west coast time. 8:30 east coast time. So join us for those because we will be talking about a lot of fun stuff on Both. And then patreon.com watch what happens for all the other Patreon. Great stuff. So today, Atlanta. Atlanta. Whoa. Well, you know, this episode was so interesting because almost all of it was in my mind terrible. And then all of a sudden it like comes to life in the last 10 minutes and like was amazing. I don't know how I had an episode could be so terrible and so amazing all at once. It's. It's bizarre. It was like.

[Ben Mandelker]

I enjoyed it. I mean I enjoyed. Oh God. Sorry.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, I was gonna say it's just. It's clear they didn't have enough. This. The big showdown between Angela and Pinky was obviously the set piece. That's the climax. So they have to put that at the end of the episode. But they just didn't have enough leading up to it. They just were trying to make all these scenes stretch in my mind and I was like, we just get to the good stuff. Let's make this a 10 minute episode.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I think that they were sticking a little much to their guns with their reboot last year, their soft reboot that they did. And I think that they should have not just kept everybody. I think that that should have been a big Audition sess. And they should have said, okay, you work, you work. The rest of you, don't work. Thank you. Have a good day. And cut, people, because, Shamia, it's just not working. Shamia, I'm so sorry, Kelly. Kelly's kind of funny, but Shami and I don't know, they're trying too hard. And what I really liked about this episode was it showed the difference between good, good housewifery and bad house. You have Shamia and you have Kelly trying to make this huge thing about, oh, we just got the pool house, and, oh, we're not even gonna go to dinner and, like, doing this. Nobody cared. Nobody cared that you weren't there. The audience did not care that you weren't there. And then you made such a boneheaded decision over such a stupid, meaningless thing that you missed the best scene of the. The season while you were out by the pool. And then they had to come slinking up because they heard it and they heard that it was good and they came slinking right back so they could be a part of it. And I just thought that was so funny and it was so rich. Well done, Angela and Pinky even. I mean, Pinky, you know, it was her first. It was her first big go, so I'll give her a break. But God damn, that scene was funny.

[Ronnie Caram]

That was. It was amazing. I mean, it was. I was laughing out loud. I mean, Pinky had a few good shots in there too, but really it was Angela go to.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, when you resort to age and menopause and blah, blah, like, girl, you're 38, you're close, you're in the neighborhood. You know what I mean? Like, you're. That's. That's low. Like, and I mean my neighborhood, not that I'm going through menopause. I just mean age happens. It happens to all of us, darling. So when you have to resort to that now, the poor stuff was fine.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I mean, I thought when she said something like I. When. When. When Angela was like, you know, you owe your. Your employees money, she goes, I owe you a new lace front. Like, that was funny to me. But. And Angela, the age stuff, yeah, Angela was the one who just dominated that. And it was so funny. And it went on. It was so chunky. It really was like, it went on and on and on and on, and it just was hilarious. I think what I don't need for the show is to joke the joke in the sense that, like, it's already funny what's happening on screen. We don't need to cut away to hear Phaedra tell us how funny it is or for, you know, like, it was funny when Portia dropped her cup. Like, that was good. But I felt like this episode today was a lot of winking at the audience, like, right from the beginning, right from this, like, Dallas intro that they did, which is the same thing that they did, I think, on Real Housewives of Dallas when they went to the Junior ranch. And like, I was like, okay, I'll let them have, like, a goofy opening. Even though I didn't love it. It's just an opening, a cold open. But it really, like the whole episode, they just had to resort to a lot of flashbacks. It was like a clip show. And so I was like, okay, you guys don't have enough footage. Like, and I think this is what happens when something really exciting happens too early in their shooting schedule. They have to make the other stuff, like, stretch for the whole episode. And it was. I don't know. I just want better for the show. I want better. And by the way, and I also want to say, I totally agree about Shamia and Kelly, in case I didn't reference that to acknowledge what you just said. Yes, a hundred percent. Shamia is really just flopping more than Kelly even.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I mean, Kelly has her funny moments, you know, but Shamia really doesn't to me. And not to be a hater, because I like Shamia, I'm rooting for her. But it's like, how many years do you have to root, you know, before you just have to say, okay, I need a better player to root for?

[Ronnie Caram]

She just seems like a die hard. You just try. I think she thinks she's so funny all the time. And listen, I get it, I get it. Look, I'm laughing at my own joke right now. But she really does think she's funny. And she'll do these bits in the, in the confessional that just seem to go on a little too long and are like, a little too obviously scripted. A little too obviously like, like winky winky. Like, aren't I being hilarious right now? Could you want to put me into a GIF right now? And it's like, oh, Shamia, it shouldn't. It shouldn't. You shouldn't be working this hard to do this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, giftless, giftless Shamia. Okay, so we start with some corny sitcom music to intro. It's like 80s. And then we see Cynthia Phaedra and special guest star Adrian Maloof. Because it is a Dynasty episode.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm about to say, excuse you. It's not sitcom intro.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know in our notes it says sitcom, but you know what? I think this is a young person who wrote these.

[Ronnie Caram]

A young person, like, what?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like half of this cast is like, what's Dynasty? What is that?

[Ronnie Caram]

I know, but it was sort of funny because it was a little bit of mixed messaging. It was like, the theme is Dynasty, but we're gonna have a Dallas intro, and it's gonna be Dallas, but it's gonna be Dynasty also. I'm like, I understand they're just doing the CBS, you know, nighttime soaps of the 80s, but it just was, like, funny that there was all this talk about Dynasty, but they were really going to Dallas. I was like, something. Can we stay consistent with one thing?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, did they not know that Dallas was a soap opera? I'm confused, because they're like, we're going to Dallas, so we're going to do a big nighttime soap opera from the 80s. Dynasty. Well, I know.

[Ronnie Caram]

Especially since yesterday, apparently, was the 35th anniversary of the Dallas finale that just popped up on Twitter for some reason. I think I've talked about 80 sitcoms enough on this podcast that my Twitter algorithm is now just serving me random 80s sitcom factoids, which is why I'm now reporting every single time it's the anniversary of some shows. You know, series finale. I'm like, did you know that Empty nest Eradist episode 133. Because I'm getting empty nest facts on my Twitter. Twitter now. And that's not even a joke.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, just you wait, because some. At some point this week, you're going to be able to talk about alf. I feel it coming. I feel it.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's coming.

[Ben Mandelker]

I hope that for you. I wish that for you.

[Ronnie Caram]

One hopes.

[Ben Mandelker]

So we see this, like, soap opera. Eat what?

[Ronnie Caram]

It's aliens. Adrian Maloof.

[Ben Mandelker]

Alf.

[Ronnie Caram]

She does have ALF in her name.

[Ben Mandelker]

We went straight from an ALF reference into alien. Alien. Maloof. Adrian Maloof.

[Ronnie Caram]

Watch your cats.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch out for your cats. Adrian Maloof is back. Why is Adrian Maloof here? I mean, I don't know, but whatever. Whatever you guys need to do. What? What? I feel like Adrian Maloof goes up to every person because, you know, she has a big Christmas party like Kathy Hilton does, and so she invites tons of Bravo people. And so she still stays within that world. You know, she knows a ton of housewives and stuff, and I feel like she has gone up to every single and been like, you want something? You want a liquor, you want A liquor with my company. We have a great company. We have lots of liquor. I don't know if you've ever heard of Zing, but that was mine. That was my liquor. It's very popular. Very popular. Red velvet cake flavored vodka with a light. That was an LED light in the bottom.

[Ronnie Caram]

Zing. Oh, my God. You know, you mentioned the, the. That. The LED light, but I forgot that it was called Zing. Was it? It was really called Zing. Was it called.

[Ben Mandelker]

I looked it up. It was called Zing. Yeah. And it was a red velvet cake flavored vodka, which, I mean, nobody needs that. I mean, even the red velvet flavored cake is a tough sell to some people. It's like the cilantro of cakes, you know, Some people like, ooh, red velvet cake.

[Ronnie Caram]

It tastes like.

[Ben Mandelker]

So try. Yeah, it's like you were born with that gene. You were born with a shitty gene that just makes things taste like soap. I don't know what to tell you. Cake is cake. Just eat the cake. But anyway, the point is, it was a failure. And she's still like, going over and. And using that to get people to be her friend. I think Cynthia's the only person who said yes, though, in all these years. So I know who the thought of

[Ronnie Caram]

all the franchises that Idrin Maloof would. Would pop up on again, it would be here on Atlanta. I thought it would be Miami for sure. I thought she just like, show up at one of like, Alexia's events or something like that. But no, she's here out of nowhere. So we see this scene where Cynthia, Phaedra and Adrian Maloof are talking. And basically Cynthia and Adrian are talking about this tequila. They're doing an infomercial and Cynthia is doing a. You know, she's like, oh, maybe we should go on a trip. And all Phaedra is doing this entire scene is just giggling on the side. Like she just repeats the last word that someone says and giggles. So they're like, ooh, I love this tequila. It reminds me of going on vacation. Oh, vacation. She's just like a little puppet on the side, like a little Muppet. But this whole thing was like. It was like it was all filmed kind of like in a Previously on Dallas Filter kind of vibe. But it was like it went on a little bit too long. And I was like, what? I was like, I think we got a Bravo. We get it. Like, the opening credits were cute, but like, do we have to have our previously is also in this. But like, it went on a long time. A Long time.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was pretty funny that they were trying to sell us on tequila. They were giving an infomercial, like, well, you know, tequila vodka is the number one alcohol in the world. I've done my research, and, you know, tequila is number two. But, you know, we think that tequila will be number one, so we're gonna go with tequila. Okay, so we get a lesson on tequila versus vodka, and she's been invited to join the tequila commissario family. And she's so ready to shoot my tequila shots. So ready.

[Ronnie Caram]

She goes, get it. Shots. And Cynthia says, the theme of my trip is to merge Dallas and Dynasty into one. You guys remember the old hit soap opera from back in the day. I hope that we have some amazing time on the trip because we actually need to stop tripping and have some fun. So she is just gonna, I guess, like, not slam.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cynthia's lines are now just being written by the. Watch what happens live, people.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, seriously, it's time to stop tripping

[Ben Mandelker]

and go on a trip. But we don't trip on the trip. Unless we fall. Then somebody trips. Can we do that again? Can we. Can we. Can we tighten that up?

[Ronnie Caram]

And I will say that. So Diane Carroll was on Dynasty, and I. I will say this weekend I got a lot of updates that it was like, the 40th anniversary of Diane Carroll joining the show. Like, I'm telling you, I'm getting so many random factoids about TV right now, and the fact that they all actually seem to be connected to this episode of Atlanta is kind of wild. But, yeah, there was some anniversary with Diane Carroll joining Dynasty this weekend.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wow.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. I'm up on every.

[Ben Mandelker]

Dominique Devereaux. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. Lately, I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day, and I'm leaning into pieces that feel easy and comfortable but still put together. It just makes getting dressed simpler. Quince has been my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are clean, and everything just works without needing to overthink it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Quince has all the wardrobe staples for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34. Lightweight, breathable, and comfortable, but still look put together and clean in 100% Pima cotton tees with a softness that has to be felt. Ronnie.

[Ben Mandelker]

Their pants also hit that same balance. Relaxed and comfortable, but still polished enough to wear pretty much anywhere.

[Ronnie Caram]

Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. And Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're getting premium materials without the markup. Let me tell you something. That Mongolian cashmere sweater that I got from Quince, that is like a real icebreaker at parties. Because when people ask me about that sweater I'm like oh, I got it at quints. They're like oh my God, I have one from Quince too. And then we bond. You would actually would never think a Mongolian cashmere sweater could be such a bonding thing. But it is a lovely luxurious item.

[Ben Mandelker]

Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com crappens for free shipping on your order and 365 day return. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com crappens for free Shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com crappens One thing I need in my life is a treat. Okay? I love a treat. I need it after work. I need a treat before work. I need a treat while I'm driving somewhere. I need a treat. Unfortunately, having that much treat can be unhealthy. But not since I found Cachoba baby.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, and by the way, they have a coffee flavor and I find that that's the perfect treat because I am a coffee girly and I'm a treat girly. So put them together and give me some coffee cacia them.

[Ben Mandelker]

I right, Absolutely delicious. I've had so many positive changes since I started drinking these energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, cognition. I mean look, anybody who's listened to this show has thought Ronnie needs to work on that cognition. Well, I have with Kachava it's an

[Ronnie Caram]

all in one nutrition shake. Crafted with the highest quality ingredients, it provides clean nutrition to fuel wherever your day take, no fillers, no nonsense and more cognition.

[Ben Mandelker]

For Ronnie, it's a whole body meal with plant based protein that actually tastes delicious. Just two scoops provides 25 grams of protein, 6 grams of fiber, greens, adaptogens and so much more.

[Ronnie Caram]

But okay, let's talk about what you actually really want to know which is that it comes in seven flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai, strawberry and coffee.

[Ben Mandelker]

Try Cachava risk free with their love it guarantee. There's so many rave reviews, thousands of them in fact, you're going to love.

[Ronnie Caram]

Treat yourself to the flavor and nutrition your body craves. Go to kachava.com and use code crappens for 15 off your first order. That's Kachava K A C H A V. A dot com code crappens.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Cynthia, they're talking about how they're going to take this group trip to celebrate Tequila taking over as number one in the world. And Pinky is saying, this is going to celebrate their issues or they're going to deal with their issues in Dallas. And Adrian's like, I want all the updates. And so Phaedra gossips with her. She's like, now Pinky, she's a different bird now. Oh, yeah, you know, she's bankrupt. I mean, who cares? Do you have some money in your bank account? That's. That's what I need to know. That's what I need to know. I don't care about your. Your veganism. Have you talked to Portia? And Cynthia's like, no, no. And so we see that Portia is mad at Kelly about their whole thing. They're just updating us on all the fights, basically. And Cynthia, Cynthia's like, what is this? And Adrian's like, this is black cherry margarita flavored. And Phaedra says, that sounds like my vagina.

[Ronnie Caram]

And then they toast. By the way, I don't know if I want black cherry tequila, but that's. It's good to see that after all these years, Adrian Maloof is still pushing the boundaries of what sort of flavors we can have in our spirits.

[Ben Mandelker]

We don't want that. We don't want. Nobody wants black cherry flavored tequila. I've never heard of that. That's crazy. Okay, well, I guess she was saying margarita, but still. Yes.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe the tequila is just normal tequila. It's just a black cherry flavor in them. I don't want that in my margarita either. Let's just. Let's just. Adrian Maloof, I think you need to simmer down with these flavor combinations. Just let the classics do their thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Dallas trip, day one. Everybody comes to the airport, and some are dressed very themey and some aren't. They all look crazy. So I don't think anybody really Googled this.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And also, did they have to be in on theme for the flight? Because I. Maybe some of them have the stuff for, like, the party, but not for the flight, because some are like, you know, Phaedra is definitely in the Dallas look. She has, like, big hair, right? Like, it's big sort of swooping 80s hair. But then, like, Shamia's wearing a tennis outfit. So Phaedra's like, think of Diane Carroll, Dominique Devereaux, Morgan Fairchild, by the looks of it. Either they've seen Dynasty or They just don't understand the assignment. By the way, I don't need Phaedra to tell me to think of Morgan Fairchild. Thank you very much. I will do that on my own all the time.

[Ben Mandelker]

Really big Morgan Fairchild Stan over there.

[Ronnie Caram]

How could you not be?

[Ben Mandelker]

So they asked me if she's ever seen Dynasty, and she's like, no. And they said, you don't know who Dominique Devereaux is? And she's like, well, I mean, I googled it once she sent that. So no. Still no. So the producer's like, did Cynthia convey to you that she wanted you all to dress up as if you were on Dynasty? Angela? And she's like, oh, that makes sense why Portia had on what she had on. I didn't understand why she was dressed like that. I did not get the memo.

[Ronnie Caram]

And the memo actually is a text that says, like, preparer. Cynthia saying, like, the last night of the trip is Tequila Dynasty gala. So think big, bold, colorful and beautiful Dynasty, Dallas and Falcon Crest. So Knots Landing. Short shrift there. Nothing for Knots Landing. Put the knot in Knots Landing. But like, it's supposed to be for the. The last night of the trip. So why would you come dress like Falcon Crest on the airplane? That's really taking it to an extreme.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. The full on shoulder pads on the airplane. Porsche really did commit to that. So now they're cheersing to K. Michelle's first girls trip. What are you thinking of K. Michelle so far? I think it's been enough episodes to have a more solid opinion. We're on episode five. How you feeling?

[Ronnie Caram]

I really like her a lot. I think she's really good. I was actually a little sad that she kind of removed herself from the fray all because of a glam squad issue. That's like, shitty, I think. I think that's like a bit of a failure. I don't think you should actually really be allowed to do that on these shows. I think the glam squads, first of all, glam squads are the downfall. In fact, actually, our lovely friends are two judgy girls. Just. Just tweeted out the same thing. That, that glam Scots will be the downfall of Housewives. And I've always felt that way. So I don't like that she removed herself from a lot of the action. But I do enjoy her overall. Like, I think she has a magnetism that I think is really good. What about you?

[Ben Mandelker]

She needs to get in there. What's she doing? She's like, on her own show and she needs to get in. She Needs to get in there. I don't mean, like, necessarily fight with everybody because that she's. She is trying to do that, which seems maybe a little. Trying hard to find a fight, but I don't know. I think she's really funny, but she's more of a confessional. She's more of a confessional creature, you know, like, she's funnier in the confessionals, but she doesn't really want to be around the cast, which I don't blame her. But, like, if you're above it, then don't do it, you know? But if you're gonna do it, show up, go to your room because you don't have makeup. Although I did laugh when she was like, I'm sorry, but I can. I can't even color in the lines. I'm gonna color my face. But. Yeah, come on.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. But I agree.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

Get in the mix.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. If you're gonna be here, play. It's like going to game night and then just sitting in the other room, you know?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. She's obviously very insecure about her appearance. Right? Like, she already was talking about her, but. And she's like, I already have this amazing butt, but I felt like I needed. Needed to do more. And now I have this issue. And now she's like, I can't. I don't even want to go to dinner without my glam on. And I understand, like, you know, you know, be. You're on tv, your personality, you're trying to sell yourself in the. In a whole other industry in terms of country music. So you're like, you care about how you look. But I also feel like ultimately, like, she's a beautiful woman and like, like, yes, I know she wants to have her glam, but, like, you wound up on camera anyway, so get in there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, yeah, I mean, everyone's insecure about their looks. It's Real Housewives. I mean, it keeps the med spa industry in business, so that's natural. But you still have to go to work, you know? So Pinky is saying this is her first time on a girls trip ever, and she has a masculine energy for a woman, so she doesn't know how she's gonna do on this. So then K. Michelle is saying, I'm terrified to be traveling with women for the first time. A bunch of hormones. Catalyst bunch. You did this in the year 2006, but I'm here ready to be open minded, get to know all these ladies. Aren't you still crying about stuff that happened to you in 2006? On a different show.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. She's like, yeah, I'm. I'm really excited to get to know all these. All these ladies, assuming that I have the glam to do it. Otherwise, I'm not seeing any of them.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm out of here.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they get on the plane.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, let me tell you one. One thing or two things that are going to be extremely safe on this trip with K. Michelle are her nipples. They are not going. If somebody shoots directly into her nipples, the bullets are gonna fly off. She's wearing, like, two little metal covers on her nipple.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's got, like, two satellite dishes that are just facing inwards.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I love that. She's.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's, like, trying to get near any open sockets, Trying to get a signal from her memories. So they get on this private jet, and of course, before they take off, Pinky is like, can I gather everyone around? Can I gather everyone around? And she starts, like. Like doing a prayer. And everyone's like, okay, sure. This is great. And then the prayer just goes and goes and goes. And it's like one of those performative prayers where it's like, at a certain point, are you really praying, or are you just demonstrating that you are capable of prayer? Because they're all like, this is taking so long. And my favorite. My favorite, like, visual representation that this was taking forever was at one point, they just sort of, like, showed a worker going back inside from the tarmac, just going back into the airport. It was such a random cutaway shot, but, like, it said, I just said everything I love. They're like, let's just put the person in. Going back inside. They're so bored. They don't even want to look at the jet anymore from the tarmac. They just want to go inside and get a snack.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And there's always that prayer person that has to do all the prayers, and it is kind of performative. My dad is the prayer person. Oh, my God. Everything we do, it's like, okay, everybody, let's hold hands and say the prayer. And I was like, oh, my God. Your dad's so sweet. And then it just goes on and on. I'm like, well, why don't you just run for mayor? I mean, you just want to give a fucking speech. Just run for mayor. Okay? God is bored. You know, he has a lot to do. He doesn't have 20 minutes to sit here and listen to your purse, your prayer speech. Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's right.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mac and cheese is getting cold.

[Ronnie Caram]

Like I told you, I know where this is going. Let's make it a little faster. Okay. We don't need to supersize this prayer. We don't need to.

[Ben Mandelker]

God, it's like, oh, Jesus. What are you doing? Les Mis say the prayer.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, let's just keep it. Keep it tight. Keep it tight. Keep it moving.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

There's a lot of prayers attend to. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Rub a dub dub. Thanks for the grub. Yay, God. The end.

[Ronnie Caram]

The end. Yes. So she just goes on and on and on with this prayer, and then finally they get into the air, and then they have, like, a very. They have, like a. They have several. They have, like, a long amount of time in the air that we see normally when they're on planes, we don't see. You know what? This is a stupid point to make. I just was going to say, normally we don't see this much on a plane, but I realized that we literally had an entire sequence on Real House. I was in Miami last year. That was like, all on a private plane. So I strike this point from the record. It's not a good one.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, if it's a private plane, they can do it. So they're talking about, you know, their business stuff that they've got going on. Kelly asked about Angela's property, and Phaedra's asking her if she's selling her portfolio, and she's like, no, girl. The portfolio has been dismantled and taken away from me. And Pinky is like, oh, my gosh. Well, I'm trying to sell my portfolio. Portfolio. Because, you know, I've been thinking about filing for bankruptcy, but, you know, I have seven businesses, and they all have a different stream of income. So on paper, I'm broke, but I do. I don't make any money personally, but I do have a lot of assets. So I can't do a seven. I don't know if I can do a 13 or a 21 or a 14 or a 16. But for a 16, you have to have four vowels in your name. It's. It's a lot. There's a lot of different. I was like, why are you telling on yourself right now where it sounds like you're shifting money around or it's probably all very legal. You know, what you do, the way that you work with taxes, like, you pay yourself through one thing or pay your expenses through another thing, but you're going through a lot right now. I wouldn't be saying stuff like this on tv.

[Ronnie Caram]

There's just something so funny about watching two women talk about, like, there are different approaches to bankruptcy while they're flying on a private jet. So truly it's like, it's crazy. And the fact that there's a third who's about to enter into it as well, like they're just like half of the half of this cast is literally bankrupt. It's a huge cast by the way. There's eight cast members. That's a lot. So they're talking about bankruptcy, you know, on and on and on and on. And we have a little update from our note taker, by the way, about bankruptcy. Chapter seven, known as liquidation and trade bankruptcy involves the sale of the debtor's non exempt assets, if any, to pay off creditors. Chapter 11. This type allows businesses to restructure debts into future payments while continuing operations. In chapter 13, individuals with regular income may seek wages earners bankruptcy, which allows them to repay some or all their debts over three to five years. There's also chapter 27 which lets you go bankrupt and then go on to reality TV and make a career out of it. So that's very.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, chapter 32 is the most interesting one and I don't think she'll be able to use this one because it says vegan bankruptcies may not be filed and paid off with money made off of cheesesteaks. It's gonna be very, very slippery slope. So to me is like, oh my God, everybody's talking about being bankrupt. God. I mean, I'm scared of shit. Because my only problem is making it to Chick Fil A drive thru before they discontinue breakfast. I mean, I can't relate. I am.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. Why do I not believe that Shamia is rushing to get the Chick Fil A breakfast? Why do I just not believe that? So she's just being hilarious. Well, I mean, even the gays, people

[Ben Mandelker]

love that Chick Fil A. They'll rush. Even the gays, they're like, hey, gay Chick Fil A hates gay people. And gay people are like, who doesn't? Give me some grilled chicken. I don't care, I'll take it.

[Ronnie Caram]

At this point it's just a drop in the bucket.

[Ben Mandelker]

That chicken is too good to pass it up. God, it. What am I supposed to eat it? Not eat it just because I hate gays? Feed me that chicken. Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

So yeah, Shamia's like, oh God, should I really be going into business for this rum company? No. The answer is no, Shamia. So then Angela is talking about how she went into bankruptcy to save her houses and all that stuff. And when you do it like they come in, she's like, they come in and they, like they, these bankruptcy people, they come into your house, they want to sit down, they want to have dinner with you. I mean, not literally. And she, Angela, she clarifies that she's not in debt. She just lost $2 million. And there is a difference. She just took a big hit, but she's not actually in debt, which I think is their way of setting her up for success. Later on in the episode when she gets into her fight with Binky.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I don't understand any of that because she says she paid the 2 million, but she still filed bankruptcy to stop the foreclosure of one of her propert. But I don't know if you have 2 million, throw that in the bankruptcy too. So I don't understand how any of that stuff works.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I don't know. So then elsewhere in the plane, K. Michelle is talking about her husband and she's basically saying that he doesn't have social media. She's like, he really is a dentist. Like, I wish he had social media so I can catch him. I believe all men cheat, and my husband doesn't have a social media or anything. And that's the sneakiest one of them all. So I've learned to take the positives of that. And no one can contact him that I know of. So she's like, no one. Even I don't like that. I track him. What'd you say?

[Ben Mandelker]

No, it even spoke before social media. How'd you do that?

[Ronnie Caram]

People never cheated before social media, that's for sure.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, this all stems from her saying, because they're saying, are you getting. Did you get a prenup with your husband? And she said, oh, no, no, no, no. You know, he doesn't want anything from me. Even when I try and help him in any way, he says, no, no, no. So he'll never try and take anything for me.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, God.

[Ben Mandelker]

One of the most horrible things is seeing a real housewife come on television and talk about how much they trust a man, any man. Like, are you nuts? Have you never seen this show? Have you not been living in this world? What, what world do you live in where men are grown? Like, you think they're grown. They're not. He will take it.

[Ronnie Caram]

They always. They always do it. They always go for the money. If you think a dentist is not going for a musician's money.

[Ben Mandelker]

Have.

[Ronnie Caram]

You've messed up. You messed up on that front.

[Ben Mandelker]

You up, Joe.

[Ronnie Caram]

You up, Joe.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, she's got an odd lookout of that. And she says, that she's like, well, no one can contact him that I know of. You know, thank God there's not phones or emails or, you know, any of that stuff. So now they land in Dallas, and Kelly is talking about her court cases, and she can't even have her girls on camera with her, and she needs a break, so she's gonna party in Dallas.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's too bad, because it was so fascinating watching her with her girls on TV. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

That episode where she gave her 16 purses for her birthday, like 16,000.

[Ronnie Caram]

It was just the most compelling content. Oh, what? What people on the podcast couldn't. If you're just only listening, what you couldn't see was me slow blinking sarcastically in a deadpan way on camera.

[Ben Mandelker]

We heard it. I felt it. I felt it.

[Ronnie Caram]

You felt it? You felt my slow blinks?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So now they're in the sprinter bus, and they're talking about Drew's dating life, and she went on a date, and she's like, well, he did give me 200 long stem roses, which is a lie.

[Ronnie Caram]

We literally see a flashback. And it's not 200 roses. It's like 50 roses at best. But of course, Drew's gonna be like, it's 200 long stem roses. So. Yeah. And yes, I am the long stem rose police, and I will be monitoring your claims of how many roses you've received.

[Ben Mandelker]

Were those even considered long stem? Wow, Serious. Short for long stems.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she's like, guys, come on. We're just friends. I let you know when the wedding is. If there's a wedding. Portia's like, well, I think he likes you because he sat on the phone with you at that party for three and a half hours. I mean, what the hell?

[Ronnie Caram]

She goes, well, yeah. I mean, let me tell you guys something. You know, he had a time. And, like, by the way, K, you guys are friends, right? Because he had a time with you. And K. Michelle's like, I don't know. I don't know him. I don't know him. And Portia's, you don't know him. It's like, no, I don't know him. I don't know. And we see a flashback where, you know, you know, we see that K was saying that, like, Black was up in her DMS a lot. Like, and we see, like, DMS from him that are like, hey, let's hang out. Etc. And so she's like, like, no, no. She's basically saying, like, portia, don't drag me into this right now. Like, I know you're gonna. What you're trying to do, but don't do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And his tweet or his messages are like, you're welcome, baby. I loved every minute of watching you shine. Lock me in. And he gives her phone, his phone number. She's like, well, I never called the phone number. I don't know that man. So now everybody's kind of awkward. And she says, bimbo. I don't know black. I know of black. So Drew thinks this is fishy because she's like, at Portia's, how She seemed to know him, but she didn't. She didn't seem to overly know him. Because we see a clip of it.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like, hello, black. Well, hello.

[Ben Mandelker]

Good to you see.

[Ronnie Caram]

See you. Hello.

[Ben Mandelker]

But it was that very, like, nice church lady. Hello.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. What a lovely see you again. Yeah. She was like. It did not necessarily speak of someone who knows someone very well. It just is like someone being polite on their first day of shooting with the group. So Drew is like. I mean, that to me, says that you know him, and he's at a lot of events. He's well known. She's well known. It's not uncommon for people in this industry to cross paths. The entertainment industry, of course, of which I'm part of. So anyway, they. That she's. She's like, well, okay, fine. Well, he liked you. And he liked you. And he liked you. He liked everyone. Guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

Everyone.

[Ronnie Caram]

Black. Liked everyone.

[Ben Mandelker]

Black.

[Ronnie Caram]

Whatever.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. We are all black. Approved here.

[Ronnie Caram]

Commercial. Here comes one right now.

[Jerry Insurance Advertiser]

My wife won't stop talking about Jerry. Jerry says he saved us money on car insurance.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mine too. Found her a better rate and didn't waste her time.

[Jerry Insurance Advertiser]

Who is this guy, babe?

[Gab Tech Advertiser]

Jerry checked again and found us an even better rate. Pulled 20 quotes from top insurers, showed them side by side, and helped me switch policies in the app.

[Jerry Insurance Advertiser]

It's a car insurance app?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yep.

[Ronnie Caram]

Let's just never happened.

[Gab Tech Advertiser]

Do yourself a favor. Visit Jerry. AI acast.

[Ronnie Caram]

Mom, can you tell me a story? Sure. Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car. Was she brave?

[Ben Mandelker]

She was tired mostly.

[Ronnie Caram]

But she went to Carvana.com and found a great car at a great price. No secret treasure map required. Did you have to fight a dragon?

[Ben Mandelker]

Nope.

[Ronnie Caram]

She bought it 100% online from her bed, actually.

[Child in Carvana Ad]

Was it scary?

[Ronnie Caram]

Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.

[Child in Carvana Ad]

Did the car have a sunroof?

[Ben Mandelker]

It did, actually. Okay, good story. Car buying.

[Ronnie Caram]

You'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on delivery. Fees may apply.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now we stop at a gas station and K. Michelle goes to pee. And K. Michelle's like, well, you know, I don't even want to be near a gas station toilet. Okay. I've never experienced that before. And Shamia's like, doing a squat. Shimmy is having a wacky moment. She's squatting and she tells us that her parents had a fleet of trucks and they had a trucking company. She's like, we're truckers and rest stops are not clean. And you have to put a cup in there and that way it catches all the urine. And then you can just kind of pour that in the toilet. You know, that way you don't touch it. Really? Truckers peeing cups instead of the toilet? What kind of trucker family are you from? I've never heard of a snotty trucker not. Not being willing to pee in a. In a toilet.

[Ronnie Caram]

What part of peeing in the cups, then pouring that in the toilet, like, sounds cleaner. I mean, you're the one creating the mess. You're like, oh, these, these rest stops are so dirty. There's urine on the seats. Yeah. Probably from people trying to pee in cups and then splashing as they poured into the toilet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Geez.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm not saying it to sit on the seat, but like, let's not be too precious about this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I used to be like that. I was like, I will never poop at home. And you know, I would only poop at home. And that was like a big problem with me. What was that movie? Someone only pooped at home and then they pooped themselves. That was me as a kid. American Pie, I think that was me. I would not go poop anywhere but home. And I remember I was on a road trip with my memo and papa on their motor home, and they were taking me across the country and I would not go poop in the public places. And my meemaw finally told me, your ass is no better than anyone else's ass. Get in there and sit down. You think other people want to sit on your ass? No. Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yep. You think your don't stink? Yeah. That's a, that's great life advice. Great, great life advice. So, but this was just a way for Shamir to be wacky and tell us about peeing in a cup. So then they're driving for so long because they stop at the gas station at 3 o' clock and it's like 6:30. Phaedra's like, she's like, honey, we could be in Dubai. By now we've done everything except bike and pedal to this place at this point. And I've been to Dubai. Do you remember season one?

[Ben Mandelker]

So what part of Texas are we going to exactly? What the hell? Did they ever say what part of Texas they were in?

[Ronnie Caram]

No. And I sort of casually tried to look up the place and I couldn't find it, but they were like, they. I thought they were going to be staying in Dallas, but you can't tell me you're three and a half hours away and you're still considered part of the Dallas hinterland.

[Ben Mandelker]

Dallas is no joke. Dallas is crazy. It's like LA with tons of little cities all over the place. It's really spread out. So they go to this.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Three and a half hours. I haven't heard of that.

[Ronnie Caram]

But.

[Ben Mandelker]

So La Casa de Fe it's called. And it's this big, big, big mansion. This is huge. This place. Texas size. This is the Texas. And there's mansion.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's huge. And there's a Lady Berdina who is standing, waiting for them. Fun fact, Regina has been dead for 200 years. I don't know if you guys know that she's not a live person, right? Like, she's a ghost. We all agree she's like. That's the big twist is that like, it turns out she's just like, she's, she's just like an empty, like, body and like there's something in the basement that is like powering her. There's no, there's just no way that this is a live human being. The way she stands there on that porch is like every horror movie. Like, hello, welcome to the place. And then she actually winds up being like rather bubbly. But when she's just standing there watching them come in, I was like, this is a dead woman. This is a. This is a corpse that's been reanimated by some curse. And it's very dangerous.

[Ben Mandelker]

The door just opens itself as far as they can see. She's like, come into my home. I thought that was kind of weird when she's like, ladies, welcome to my home.

[Ronnie Caram]

Your home's dirty. That's disgusting.

[Ben Mandelker]

We hate it. So we see the main house is 9, 600 square feet, six bedrooms, five bathrooms, two kitchens, a theater, light filled charcuterie, groups of flavored or groups flavored friends. Groups of favored friends. Welcome argument. Ready?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. More, more, more. Winking at the audience, Drew is saying they, they all love it. It's so big. It's huge. This is, is a Very long walk through of the house. Like I said, they're stretching their material this week, and so we're going through every single room, and every single room gets a. Gets a breakdown. 1253 square feet. That's the tiny house. Because there's a. The main house. There's a tiny house. There's a pool house. They go through each one, and Portia's saying how the main. She's like, the main house is giving main character energy, and it's the tiny house. It's, like, not that offbeat, but, I mean, I think it's also. You know, it's also lit.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lit.

[Ronnie Caram]

She thinks it's lit because she knows she's not gonna be put in it. But if she were put in the tiny house, I don't think Portia would be very happy at all.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I mean, for a room, it's 1253 square feet. It's not so bad. I didn't think it looks really nice to me, so. But of course, I'm not Real Housewives level. I get it. So Cynthia says that there's two women who love each other and just can't seem to tear themselves away from each other. And. And the tiny house is going to be for those ladies. We don't know who it is yet. And Kelly's like, is that freaking frack? So they keep turning the house, and cards keep coming up. It's like, this house has three TVs, or this room has three TVs in it. So K. Michelle's like, but I can't even think about that pool house compared to the main house, okay? It's too small. If they try to put me there, I'm going to the nearest hotel. You are new. You're lucky you're not sleeping in the tent outside, okay?

[Ronnie Caram]

And they are, like, walking into, like, the bedroom in the pool house, and they're like, wow. It's just. It's got very Italy Tuscany vibes. I was like, there's nothing about this that looks like Italy or Tuscany in this room, but, you know, go off. It's fine.

[Ben Mandelker]

And it is very Texas McMansion. It's Texas McMansion. That's how they. That's kind of how they all look.

[Ronnie Caram]

And it looked fine. The pool house looked fine to me. As far as I could tell. It wasn't as nice as the main house, but it was. It was good enough. But no one wants to be there. No. Everyone through the pool house, and they're like, gross, disgusting. Burn it down.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Kelly's Like, I'm going through a lot in life right now, and I do not want to have to like, experience that here, okay? Like, geez, give me 2000 thread count. Don't give me this. And so now they go back to the main house, and Cynthia's like, yeah, you know, I don't want to deal with picking room drama on this trip. So I know which rooms each lady will thrive in.

[Ronnie Caram]

So now they're all. They all gather around for the official assigning of the rooms. So Cynthia's like, I've decided to put Pinky. I feel like your energy gives me solitude, cuz you're the only vegan here and I feel like you are a grown ass woman. So Mickey's like, what? Why are you looking at me like that? She's like, so I thought, tiny house, tiny house for Pinky. Tiny house, tiny food options, vegan, that's for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

And it's still really nice. And so Pinky's like, okay, well that's fine with me. I mean, what is this considered gen pop? I'll take it. Like, geez, I can walk away from you crazy people fighting. Okay, fine. And by the way, I'll see you for breakfast. Make me some vegan eggs while you're at it. Guys, Pinky's a vegan, don't forget. And if you do, she'll remind you again in about two minutes.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's her business, okay? It's her brand.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can I stay in the vegan pool house?

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay, so for the pool house, I thought long and hard about what two ladies love each other's company. And then it's like, ooh, is it Phaedra and Portia? And we see footage of them being fun and fricking, fricking and fracking. Like, oh, God. And then we see Kelly and Shamia, and they're having fun too. Oh my God. All these duos that it could possibly be will wind up at the pool house. Who will Cynthia choose? So Cynthia goes, well, you know, literally. It's just, you know, there's. There's just like, I don't know the first two ladies that came to my mind when I saw that amazing pool house. And Angela's like, no, not amazing. She's like, the two bedroom situation, recreation area. I thought, I'm like, why, why are we teasing this? I'll just give the room Cynthia, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, just cut to. I did like that they were putting on the screen when they were putting duos up. They're like, frick and frack. And so, and so and then we go to Drew and Angela and it says Drusilla and Bigfoot.

[Ronnie Caram]

I missed that one. That's funny.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they give it to Kelly and Shamia and Kelly kind of laughs, and everybody else is like, oh, my God, thank God we're not staying in that 3,000 square foot hellhole.

[Ronnie Caram]

I know, but with its own pool. Ugh, that's terrible. And Cynthia goes. Shamila's like, well, that's definitely got the worst end of the deal. Well, so much for someone bragging about being a trucker and, like, living the trucking lifestyle. Then suddenly like, I can't, I can't stay in the pool house.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, she's got too many mixed messages, you know, because she was saying she was a trucker, but she was a snotty trucker. So she's like, now being a trucker does not mean I was one of the people. I would not sit on a toilet seat and I will not sleep in a pool house.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, but she's like, trying to have, like, cred of the people. But then she's like, no, I, I can't. I cannot sleep in a perfectly fine room in a king sized bed in this perfectly nice air conditioned house. So Cynthia's like, but you guys literally have the pool. And Kelly's like, yeah, Cynthia, you know, you did everything big but that bedroom, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm pint sized. I get it, but God damn it, I don't want a pint sized room. Okay, well.

[Ben Mandelker]

And

[Ronnie Caram]

nothing. Nothing. I'm just like. It's just like her, her finding a way to wedge in. But I'm fine size. It's like, okay, okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Shamia says, you know when you get that Christmas gift that you don't want, and your mom says, you have to be grateful. You got to show that you're grateful. I was like, when does that start? So Cynthia's like, okay, the rest of you, you get to pick. But the only people who don't get to pick are the people I'm over. The rest of you go pick.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So everyone goes running around, they choose rooms. Kelly and Shamia run into the pool house to fight over the rooms. And then Kelly is. She's upset with the bed that she winds up with. And then she also knows that there seems to be a stain on the, on the duvet. And she's like, I know this can't be the luxury luxuriously. What'd you say?

[Ben Mandelker]

I was expecting like some big, nasty spermatozoa something or other. But it looked like a little pen mark or something.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, it looked, like, unremarkable.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I. I didn't really get it. And listen, I am. I'm not just being a hater. I was ready to be like, oh, my God, this room is disgusting. How dare you treat them like this? But I was like, this isn't what's so bad about this? I didn't really get it. I guess I've just slept in so much worse that it. I mean, we went to a hotel one time. The only time we've left a hotel, the only time was when there were literal blood. There was blood on the sheets and on the towels, you and I. And there was lipstick all over a towel and pubic hair in a sink. It's like they went as they went as far as they could to make this room disgusting for us. And that was the only time we

[Ronnie Caram]

were ever like, okay, I sat on a bed for all of five seconds. I was like, I'm gonna get bedbugs. I was like, running me. And it smelled like mold. It was. Listen, it was awful.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that was fast.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's. It stayed with us all these years. So, like, I get it. If you see something on your bed, it's. It's like, it's definitely unpleasant. And also, I will say, like, Kelly's room was not. It wasn't, like, luxurious. Like, you know, some of the other women had rooms with beautiful views. Yeah, for sure. Her room was lesser. It was a lesser than room.

[Ben Mandelker]

I guess it was a perfect. Yeah. I guess I'll just say on these shows, we're used to. It's kind of a trope, right, where they go on these trips. Someone has to get stuck with a shitty room. It happens on every Housewives show. This is nothing new. They're not being, like, worse than anybody else at this point. They're just like, oh, that sucks. We get the. We get the shittiest room. So I don't think at this point they're going too far, but they do go too far.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Where it's like.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'll tell you who I think has the worst room. I think K. Michelle has the worst room because she was so happy she, like, she got this room. It was a corner room. And there's, like, windows. Like, windows here. Like, this is, like two walls of windows. And I was like, enjoy waking up in a sauna because that's a lot of windows. That sun's gonna come in, it's gonna be hot, it's gonna be sunny, and you're gonna be miserable. I'm telling you that right now. I think K Michelle has the word worst room.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I guess we'll find out in the morning when that sun comes in, won't we? So, yeah, they're pretty upset about the room. And then Angela is. They make a joke about the rooms that she's in. And then we see. I don't know, we see Angela joking about Phaedra being not being in the same rooms that she's in at the reunion. She's like, you're not in the same rooms I'm in. They're like, oh, wasn't that fun? Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ronnie Caram]

Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

[Ben Mandelker]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemons. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

[Ben Mandelker]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Ronnie Caram]

Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Trickolas. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go Hugo. We all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no less namey.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.

[Ben Mandelker]

Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera. Whatever will be will. Lauren Silsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Leno. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry.

[Ronnie Caram]

Our aren't you glad? It's Marianne Ahrens.

[Ben Mandelker]

Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is Living with Michelle. Vivian.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love a y'.

[Ronnie Caram]

All.

[Ben Mandelker]

Olivia Williamson.

[Ronnie Caram]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. We cannot. It's Savannah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Ben Mandelker]

Darn Skippy. It's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP it's important.

[Ronnie Caram]

Amanda V. Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD

[Ben Mandelker]

we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ronnie Caram]

Let's get real with Caitlin o'.

[Ben Mandelker]

Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[Ronnie Caram]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish, my favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. Let's get Savage with Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlas Rogers, the incredible edible Matthew sisters.

[Ben Mandelker]

She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sharrous. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

[Ronnie Caram]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Ben Mandelker]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Tell of son Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony, please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla plain strike.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oppose it. Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys.

[Child in Carvana Ad]

Hey, it's Paige from giggly squad. And you know those moments when you just want to slow down and actually treat yourself? That's exactly where Haagen Dazs comes in. Haagen Dazs just launched a brand new flavor coffee almond toffee ice cream. It's rich, smooth, creamy, indulgent and honestly too good to rush through. Take your sweet time. That's Dazs. Find Haagen Dazs new coffee almond toffee ice cream at retailers nationwide.

[Jerry Insurance Advertiser]

Insurance isn't one size fits all. That's why drivers have enjoyed Progressive's name your price tool for years. Now, with the name your price tool, you tell them what you want to pay and they'll show you options that fit your budget. So whether you're picking out your first policy or just looking for something that works better for you and your family, they make it easy to see your options. Visit progressive.com find a rate that works for you with the name your price tool. Progressive Casualty insurance company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law, if you work in University Maintenance. Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place, from H Vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock so your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.