#3347 RHOA S17E05 Part Two: Texas Read ‘Em

Summary

WATCH WHAT CRAPPENS #3347 — RHOA S17E05 Part Two: Texas Read ‘Em (May 4, 2026)

Overview

Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam continue their delightfully snarky breakdown of The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 17, Episode 5 (Part 2), titled “Texas Read 'Em.” This episode revolves around the fallout from Cynthia’s controversial room assignments on the cast trip, lingering house drama, and a fiery, insult-filled showdown at dinner between Angela and Pinky. The hosts revel in mocking the cast’s petty grievances, especially the less-than-luxurious pool house accommodations, scrutinize the group’s internal squabbles, and celebrate the cast’s acerbic wit—culminating in one of the season’s most memorable read-offs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pool House Pandemonium: The Dirty Room Dilemma

• [02:31–05:56] Ben and Ronnie lampoon the cast’s overreaction to being relegated to the “pool house,” which Shamia and Kelly insist is filthy and beneath them. The hosts poke fun at how the two sulk poolside rather than addressing the issue directly with Cynthia.
  • “We are not okay in this hell dipping our feet in a beautiful pool.” — Ronnie (02:42)
  • The whole “Frick and Frack is Whack” bit: Kelly escalates the drama, coining the phrase and dismissing Phaedra and Portia as “both whack. And they both should be in the pool house because they have equal amounts of wackness...” — Paige (03:46)
  • Ronnie laughs at Kelly’s commitment: “She has to now commit to her rhyme... She just sort of said it on the spot. And so now it’s like... you have to ride with it.” (04:28)

2. The Cleanliness Crisis and the Victim Olympics

• [06:02–13:50] As Shamia gives her partner Gerald a video tour of “Casa de Faith,” detailing stains and dust, Ben and Ronnie lambaste the melodrama over a not-perfectly-pristine guest house.
  • “I have faith that these rooms are going to get cleaned at some point. Such a strange threat.” — Ronnie (07:10)
• The hosts note that the cast’s real issue isn’t dirt, but a feeling of being “less than” for not being in the main house.
  • “It’s not about that the pool house is dirty. It’s that they feel somehow, like, lesser than maybe.” — Ronnie (09:25)
  • Ben points out Cynthia’s mishandling: “It is weird that Cynthia was like, okay, everybody gets to choose their rooms except you guys, who get this room...” (10:16)

3. Cast Dynamics and Ego Management

• [12:04–13:31] The hosts highlight how small slights metamorphose into outsized feuds, and suggest easier solutions are possible: “There are seven bedrooms in this home. You could have asked somebody to use their... can I get ready in your room?” — Paige (12:43)
• [17:12–18:31] Pinky offers her room to Shamia and Kelly, resolving the standoff over accommodations. The drama, however, seems more about status than space.

4. Glam Tragedy & Real-Life Drama

• [18:33–19:20] K. Michelle, unable to get her makeup done, opts out of dinner, feeding into the theme of “micro-offenses” derailing group unity—“She looked great without glam. I wish she could see this... I was like, okay, Michelle, you look wonderful.” — Ronnie (18:33)
• [19:32–20:45] The mood turns raw when Kelly reveals her ex’s press conference weaponized their children against her in a custody fight—an emotional beat the hosts treat with empathy.

5. Dinner Table Thermonuclear Insults: Angela vs. Pinky

• [21:40–45:46] The bulk of the episode’s entertainment: an extended, escalating, and hilariously savage reading battle between Angela and Pinky, erupting over “bothered” looks, business debts, physical digs, and unrelenting wordplay.
  • The initial spark: “You come across as bothered. I’m not bothered by you. Not by you. By me? No, I’m not bothered by you.” (35:55)
  • Pinky threatens a “walk-off,” but reverses course: “In my years, I’ve never seen someone pursue a walk off and then reverse uno and sit back down.” — Paige (41:40)
  • INSULTS GALORE:
    • “She goes, well, I owe you a new lace front because—okay, Mr. Clean. Don’t do it, Papa Smurf. When she said that, I died.” — Ronnie (38:32)
    • “What are you talking about? Because you owe your employees money. What are you talking about? I don’t owe employees…” — Paige (38:13)
    • “Not flowers in the attic teeth...” — Paige (39:21)
    • “If someone tells me to kiss their ass, I’m gonna need that to be a rump roast, not a flat steak. I want to lift it and pull it out.” — Phaedra via Paige (40:16)
    • “I owe you some veneers, okay, because that overbite thing, that you’ve got going on. She goes, girl, not the way your teeth co-mingle. The incestuous teeth you got.” — Paige (39:06)
    • “Turn your fan on. You’re sweaty.” — Ronnie (37:42)
    • “Talk to me when you get your business back.” “No, you didn’t. Cash.” (39:24–39:48)
  • The fight threatens to turn physical, Pinky brandishes her butt at the table: “You can kiss my ass.” (40:00)

6. House Divided: Returns and Resolutions

• [43:46–45:46] Shamia and Kelly rejoin the group at dinner, prompted by FOMO more than reconciliation. The hosts laugh at their sheepish re-entry.

7. The Art of the Read: Reality TV as Sport

• [46:44–47:47] Ronnie and Paige wax rhapsodic about the sheer skill at play during the read-off: “It’s like seeing two people who are just, like, great at their art form... two women just pulling, I could never sit there and come up with these reads. Back to back to back to back.” — Ronnie

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Frick and Frack is whack. Okay, that’s two GIFs for you, America.” — Ronnie (06:02)
• “It’s not about the pool house being dirty. It’s that they feel somehow, like, lesser...” — Ronnie (09:25)
• “I have faith that these rooms are going to get cleaned at some point. Such a strange threat.” — Ronnie (07:10)
• “Stop it, Papa Smurf.” — Paige (38:58)
• “Girl, not the way your teeth co-mingle. The incestuous teeth you got.” — Paige (39:06)
• “Not flowers in the attic teeth. No.” — Ronnie (39:21)
• “You can kiss my ass.” — Pinky, after slapping her own (40:00)
• “If someone tells me to kiss their ass, I’m gonna need that to be a rump roast, not a flat steak.” — Phaedra via Paige (40:16)
• “It’s a true talent to be able to immediately say something like your incestuous teeth. To be able to have a comeback so fast is a talent.” — Ronnie (47:47)

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• 02:31–06:02: “Frick and Frack is Whack” and pool house melodrama
• 06:02–07:55: Shamia’s FaceTime tour of “Casa de Faith”
• 12:04–13:50: Discussion of fair room assignment and “status”
• 17:12–18:31: Pinky offers her room to Shamia and Kelly
• 19:32–20:45: Kelly’s real-life custody drama is revealed
• 21:40–26:34: Dinner begins, room assignment dispute revisited
• 35:00–46:17: Angela and Pinky’s explosive showdown (“bothered” exchange, read-off, near walk-off)
• 39:01–39:15: “Incestuous teeth” and other rapid-fire insults
• 40:00–41:40: Pinky’s “kiss my ass” gesture and Phaedra’s “rump roast” commentary
• 46:44–47:47: Hosts celebrate the “art form” of rapid-fire reads

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Final Thoughts & Tone

Ben and Ronnie bring the signature Watch What Crappens energy—affectionately eviscerating Bravo, reveling in the ridiculous, and spotlighting reality TV’s campy social dynamics. Their tone is irreverent, witty, and warmly mocking, emphasizing how everyday slights, egos, and petty house drama become overblown spectacle. The Angela vs. Pinky dinner-table read-off is hailed as reality TV gold, with the hosts marveling at the rapid-fire, devastating “reads” that are a hallmark of the genre. As always, their recap offers both incisive cultural commentary and pure entertainment value.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This recap covers all the major squabbles, the best lines, and why this episode—while thin on storyline—delivers on personality and Housewives mayhem. If you want to hear the dramatic art of insult in action and a host duo gleefully dissecting the absurdities of Bravo, this is a must-listen. The friendship feuds and the dinner-table drag-fest are at the heart of the episode, and Ben and Ronnie make every moment count.

Transcript

[Paige]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

So Angela checks in on Kelly and Shamia and she's like, are you guys okay? They're like, no, we're not okay. And she goes well, I'm just really trying to spend time with you. What?

[Ronnie]

As they're dipping their feet into the pool, they're sitting there on the side of the pool. We are not okay in this hell dipping our feet in a beautiful pool.

[Paige]

And she says, well, you know, I thought when she said that they were. There's going to be two people that are really close. I knew she was talking about you guys because you guys are inseparable.

[Ronnie]

And. Yeah. And so Kelly's like, huh? She's like, I can't hear you. She's like, I'm just like. I mean, I feel the. I mean, I feel the love. Like you guys don't feel the love between you two. She's like, you don't feel the love from anybody else? She's like, no, don't you feel that? Don't you feel close, like, to Drew or. I guess Jimmy is not saying that. And Angel's like, no, no. And they're like, well, what about freaking frack? They're basically saying, like, there are other people who are, like, super close, not just us. And Angel's like, well. And then Kelly goes, well, freaking frack is whack. And Angela goes, from your mouth, not mine. At which point, they know that Angel's gonna go immediately and tell the other women that they just had freaking. Freaking frack is whack.

[Paige]

Yeah. And Kelly's like, I don't care. I don't care who's frick or frack. They're both whack. And they both should be in the pool house because they have equal amounts of wackness, because Porsche's wacky. And that girl had a. Had a man sitting at the head of the table at her ex husband's house. And Phaedra, you know, I love her, but she's just trying to be with her whack friend, and she knows her friend is whack. And by the way, in case you're not laughing yet, let me. Let me lift a cup up right to the camera and sip on it. Okay? The cupwork is too much. She's got to stop at the cupwork now. She does it in every scene at all times. She's holding a solo cup the whole time.

[Ronnie]

Now she's like, yeah, let's settle down the camera.

[Paige]

We get it. You're hilarious, okay? You're drinking after every line. Is really funny.

[Ronnie]

Marisol Patton. More like Maris Small Patton. That's what we can call her. Hey, that was a Marisol joke. I have to say, I had a really good Point. You know what? It's, you know, it's so funny. I had such a good point about this, and it has completely vanished from my brain. It was not about solo hookups. But I will say I don't feel like Kelly has any beef with Phaedra, but she has to now commit to her rhyme of freaking frack is whack, because she just sort of said it on the spot. And so now it's like, but what about Phaedra? What's wrong with Phaedra? She's like, well, she supports Portia, so that makes her whack. Also, like, you don't actually believe she's whack. You just had a really good time, and.

[Paige]

And she's still going.

[Ronnie]

You have to ride with it. Yeah.

[Paige]

Because they're. Angela's like, you know, everybody can stand on their own. And Kelly's like, well, I'm definitely going to talk my talk. And absolutely. I said, frickin frack is whack. Okay? I'm gonna say it until someone makes a gif out of it. Now, I'm gonna sit in this. In Cha Cha's bed tonight, and they show us. They show us a shot of the little dog, and they're like, oh, my God, not. Not the dog bed. And she's like, I know Angela's gonna run, you know, run in Charles shoes and run back to that big house and tell us. Tell everybody exactly what we said. Like this. Boom, boom, boom. Wait, I'm sorry.

[Ronnie]

She's.

[Paige]

You know, her knees aren't very good, so she's gonna do it like this.

[Ronnie]

Okay, all right, Shaky green.

[Paige]

Let's.

[Ronnie]

Let's. Let's wrap it up over there, Kelly. Hold on, hold on.

[Paige]

Let's get that hook cup. I've got a cup.

[Ronnie]

So in summary, horsesha. And. And frickin frack is whack. Okay, that's two gifts for you, America. So now at pool house, Shamir calls Gerald, and he's like, how's it going? She's like, oh. Oh, my God. So you know how I thought we had, like, a really nice house, right? Which is like a nice. And the house is nice. It's nice. There's like, I think a ghost who's haunting it. That's nice. And then there's an outhouse, and then like a guest house area. And they put me and Kelly over here, and, babe, let me just show you what it looks like.

[Paige]

And.

[Ronnie]

And she shows him, and she's like, look, here's the stain on Kelly's bed. And he's like, okay. And she's like, and look at this dirty sink. He's like, okay. And look, there's ceiling fan dust. There's dust on the ceiling fan. He's like, okay.

[Paige]

Dirty toilet seat. And it looks like there's a spot of, like, toilet bowl cleaner on the seat or something. And she's like, oh, you call this the house of Faith? Casa de F. Well, I have faith that these rooms are going to get cleaned at some point. Kelly's like, hold on, I'll help you.

[Ronnie]

I have faith that these rooms are going to get cleaned at some point. Such a strange threat.

[Paige]

I have faith that some house of faith. How about House of Filth? Or alternately, There we go. House of Failure or something. Yeah, I'm for hire, guys. I'm for hire.

[Ronnie]

So far, both better than freaking frack is whack, I'll tell you that much.

[Paige]

He does not care. By the way, Gerald is like, do you have anything else to tell me? She's like, no. But also, look at the sink. And he's like, it's a sink. She's like, goodbye, Gerald.

[Ronnie]

Goodbye.

[Paige]

Okay, and Kelly's pool house. It's an outhouse. It's an outhouse. Okay, well, it's a pool house. It's an outhouse. It's a dog house. It's a friend's house. She definitely put us in the outhouse.

[Ronnie]

I think this was her. Is this nut Bush City limits? Is that what she was doing? Is that what that was?

[Paige]

Oh, I don't know.

[Ronnie]

My Tina Turner dar was going off there. I think that's how Nutbush City limit starts.

[Paige]

Okay, thanks for saving that. And in the words of Tina Turner, also. Your private pool house.

[Ronnie]

Pool house for money. All these things where you want them to be.

[Paige]

So Portia and Pinky sit down because it's time for dinner. And Portia's like, you went over there and checked on the girls. How are they? Pinky's like, well, first of all, I went over there. We know that we've covered that. Pinky, he's like, and the problem is somebody didn't clean it. And then. And they didn't even change their clothes, so they're not gonna even try to come to dinner. And porch is like, what do you mean? And then we see Kelly and Shamia just still sitting by the pool. And Pinky's like, they didn't change their clothes. They don't wanna come back. She goes, oh, so they're not coming to dinner? She's like, no. Kay is Skipping dinner, too, and because she didn't get her makeup done. And Portia's like, wait, what? So now Phaedra comes out, and Portia's like, wait a minute. They said Kay's skipping dinner. Cause Shamia's skipping dinner, and Kelly's skipping dinner, and Pinky's like, first of all, K is skipping dinner. I said that already.

[Ronnie]

I know. I think. I mean, this. We. I think we all know what this is really about, which is that they are feeling excluded because they're not in the main house with all, like, the. The main people. And so it's not about that the pool house is dirty. It's that they feel somehow, like, lesser than maybe. They feel like, you know, they've already had a season under the belt. They shouldn't be off in Timbuktu in their mind. And so I kind of feel like them feeling like the house is really, really dirty is sort of their way of saying of, like, propping themselves up a little bit to be like, no, we're not the. We're not like the Runts. We're not the runs of this cast. We are actually. We have very high standards. If anything, we should be not only just in the main house, in. In, like, on the. In the best part of the main house. You know, it's sort of like a way to.

[Paige]

I can see that.

[Ronnie]

To, like. Yeah, to, like, re. Like, their egos are hurt, basically.

[Paige]

Yeah, I think that's. And I will also give them this. It is weird that Cynthia was like, okay, everybody gets to choose their rooms except you guys, who get the room. That is kind of weird. Why don't you just let everybody choose their rooms if they're going to do it? It's kind of bizarre. It's like, I don't want people to get hurt feelings over getting shitty rooms, so I'm going to hurt people's feelings by giving them the shitty room. It's kind of weird. But, you know, it seemed like she

[Ronnie]

was almost told that she has to put those women back there because Cynthia almost seemed so nervous when she was announcing it. She's like, well, these two people, they love each other. They love each other a lot, so they get to be in there. I'm like, what? What's. Like, she seemed, like, really ill at ease at having to announce it. And it was almost like the fact that she made it such a big thing is almost what made it seem so insulting to the women, because I almost think if she said, oh, yeah, you guys are there, and you guys are there, and you guys are there, and that's the way it is. It would have maybe been, like, a little bit better, but there was such a preamble, like, oh, this will be for people who really love each other. And it's really good. And. And it's like. Then you sort of, like, know, like, oh, this is the shittiest option, and I'm being stuck there.

[Paige]

Yeah, you need to do it. Like, some lucky person gets to sleep in the pool house. Their own house. Who's gonna win?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, something like that.

[Paige]

So poor. Like, yeah, you know, she's catching her up, and they're like, yeah, the makeup artist didn't show up for K. Michelle, so she refuses to eat. So now Angela comes in, and they, you know, they update her. And then Pinky's like, yeah, they don't even want to come to dinner because they didn't even take a bath because the shower was so dirty. Well, you know what helps showers be less dirty? Water.

[Ronnie]

That does help. That does help.

[Paige]

So.

[Ronnie]

So Portia's like, okay, but, like, here's the thing. Did we tell Cynthia so she can, like, have somebody clean it because, like,

[Paige]

give her an opportunity to clean it?

[Ronnie]

And Pinky's like, yeah, I was looking for her. I went in the room, and I did not see her. So I only checked one room, and that was it. So. And by the way, I mean, I would love it if they posted some photos of what this place really looked like, because I'm also fully willing to say, oh, shit, this was really dirty. And these women really did have a point. Like, I'm not going to say that they're totally off base until I see some photographic evidence. But what we could see, it didn't really look so bad.

[Paige]

Well, I think they're. I think they're off base in how they're reacting. I mean, if I walked into a room and it was dirty, I'd be, oh, this room is dirty. Like, can I get a vacuum? Or, you know, call somebody in here? You know, I would. I would, like, put on the guilt by being like, hey, I don't want to bother you, but the room is kind of dirty. Don't. Don't worry about it. Is there a vacuum? It's for some Windex. It's for some bathroom cleaner. And then you make the person feel terrible, and they're like, oh, my God, I'm mortified. Let me call somebody to just, like, sit at the pool and mope and not tell anybody and then just kind of tell Pinky. So Pinky has to go do it for them. And then we're not going to show up to dinner because we couldn't take a bath. There are seven bedrooms in this home. You could have asked somebody to use their, you know, I don't know, like, can I. Our room's kind of nasty. Can I get ready in your room, something? But they're just being about it.

[Ronnie]

Can you, like, light some candles and, like, summon Bradina, have a seance and

[Paige]

get Verdina in here? It's hard for her her to hold a duster. She's a ghost.

[Ronnie]

She's like, I tried my best. I tried to use some Bon Ami, but I just could not pick it up for the life of me. It was tough.

[Paige]

Oh, yeah. I think the most annoying thing as an audience member is that they're trying to make this a thing because they've got nothing else going on and it's just like, so thankfully, they're shown how to do it very soon by pros. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Lately, I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day, and I'm leaning into pieces that feel easy and comfortable but still put together. It just makes getting dressed simpler. Quince has been my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are clean, and everything just works without needing to overthink it.

[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

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[Paige]

So Shamia is now texting Cynthia. Or they call Cynthia and they're like, we're not going to make it to dinner. And she's like, kelly. And I don't even care about the size of the room. It's just the cleanliness of it. And she's like, oh my God, I didn't know. So Pinky's like, there were stains on the sheets. And Drew says, what? And they're like, no, no, no. She goes, it's not just conducive, guys. It's not conducive

[Ronnie]

to what? Just anything. It's just not conducive. It's not conducive.

[Paige]

And Cynthia's like, well, I guess it needs a deep cleaning. And she goes, yeah, you know, anybody who stayed there would feel the same way. You know what I'm saying, Cynthia? She goes, yeah, 100%. She goes, and I just want to say thank you, because my Little House on the Prairie is really clean, so that's good, and I'm happy. But you know what? I'm going to give Shamia and Kelly my room, guys. And Cynthia is like, okay, well, okay, well, that's what I was going to say, you know, so what are we going to do tonight? So you're going to give them your room? She goes, I'm going to give them my room. Okay, everybody. Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, look at her do that looking her. Look the service that she does. And so Cynthia's like, okay, well, then you're going to stay with either me or K. Michelle. And so Piggy's going to stay with kids. So it looks like everything's all sorted out. And. But down at the pool house, K. Michelle joins Kelly and Shamia, and they're just like. They're just gonna sit there and be like, we're in the dirty area of the.

[Paige]

Of the property. And.

[Ronnie]

And K. Michelle, people that won't go to dinner club. Yeah. And K. Michelle has been trying. She's been trying to figure out her glam situation. She's like, glam is important to me because let me tell you why. I can't even color in a coloring book. I definitely don't know how to paint my face, curl my hair, do anything, and when I step out, I want to look great. And the thing is that, like, I hate this is like, the worst thing, you know? And, like, when a guy says, oh, but, like, you're not wearing. Like, she actually looks the best without even any makeup on. Like, I know. Like, women hate that. It's like. Like we're not the one. Like, it's not about us in these moments. That being said, she looked great. She looked great. I wish she could see this. You know, I guess we're all our own toughest critics, but I was like, okay, Michelle, you look wonderful.

[Paige]

Like, don't have to worry about beautiful.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, she looks, I think, better than ever.

[Paige]

And also. Also, by the way, hate to be the one to tell you this. You're still on tv. You're in a scene right now. I know.

[Ronnie]

And then there's that.

[Paige]

So Kelly is like, yeah, you know, I was looking forward to this trip, and it's just like, it just because everything sucks right now. You know, my ex decided he was going to do a press conference with people holding up signs showing our children and saying that I'm trying to take his parental rights. What the fuck? This guy's crazy.

[Ronnie]

I know.

[Paige]

You stage a protest and give people, like, posters with pictures of your kids for men's rights. Fuck off.

[Ronnie]

This press conference also, by the way. What?

[Paige]

Like, seriously, Twitter people.

[Ronnie]

What person that calls themselves a journalist goes to this guy's press conference,

[Paige]

and she's like, yeah. And it's not as though he wants to get the girls and spend time with them. It's just he wants to inconvenience me.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So she starts to sob, and then they're comforting her, and she's like, the fact that you would go to that extent exposing our children to something that they knew nothing about is a very horrible thing. And, like, same person who says, oh, I didn't see these things, and I did this. And now she's basically just like, this guy's a piece of. So Shami is like, you are always being strong, and you're the strong daughter to your parents and to Nana, and you are the strong mom to the girls, but somebody's gotta be strong for you, so it's okay. Somebody's gotta be strong for Kelly.

[Paige]

Okay? Michelle's like, we're here. We're here. I don't know why. Damn. Need some glam. Done.

[Ronnie]

I like my glam.

[Paige]

I would feel worse for you, but I just don't look very good doing it right now. Can I feel for you later when I look better?

[Ronnie]

So at dinner, the event planner tells them what they all have. Chileans sea bass, also known as Patagonian toothfish. And then there's a vegan option for Pinky. And then there's gonna have some. There's gonna be some special food tomorrow for the gala. It's gonna be paired with tequila. And Cynthia is just. She also says that their significant others are invited to this gala, which makes sense, because I was wondering why Shamia was inviting Gerald to this. To this trip, when this is clearly, like, a lady's time in the villa, but whatever. So this is what. This is what's happening, and this vacation so far.

[Paige]

So Pinky says, you know, when my friends are hurting, I genuinely want to know what's happening. And it doesn't make anybody else at the table less my friends. But these are the women that I've gotten the opportunity to bond with, and they're visibly upset, and I know it's not for just no reason. So, Cynthia, let me ask you, is there an intention on the room arrangement? Because what was the thought process behind that? Was it like, who you were closest to or who you like the most? I mean, was it that? And she's like, I mean, no. I just. When I saw the pool house, I immediately thought about Kelly and Shamia because they're close. And to be honest, like, when shamia and Kelly FaceTimed me, they didn't have the energy that you had. So I'm not really sure. And she's like, oh, they didn't. She goes, nope. And Cynthia tells us, last time I checked, Kelly and Shamia had a mouth and a voice, and the tiny house is the only house you need to be worried about. Pinky.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, yeah, seriously. I think Cynthia should have just said, you know what? It was a house for two. And I thought of, who are the duos in our group? And they seem to be really having a lot of fun with each other. And I thought it'd be kind of like a fun slumber party vibe for them. And I'm sorry that they're not liking it. And then just like, end of story. So Angela's like, well, I went over there and, you know, I spoke with Kelly and Shamia, and I was like, why do you guys think that you were, you know, selected for these rooms? And they were uncertain. And she's like, well, so what were

[Paige]

they saying about how they were selected?

[Ronnie]

Well, they. Kelly said, frickin frack is whack. Like, y' all should have been over there. So, yeah, frickin frack is whack.

[Paige]

So wait, we got called whack because they got that room? We didn't pick the rooms. Peter's like, yeah, what does that have to do with us? Well, frickin frack, you know, your best friends, you should be over there and not them. And everyone's just like, oh, God, this is so boring. Oh, my God. The way they take a housewife trope and make it the most boring storyline of all time. So Phaedra says, well, I'm not mad about their comment about freaking frack. Because you've got Dom Perignon, which would be Portia and I, and then you've got Andre, Ren and Stimpy are whack.

[Ronnie]

So Pinky's like, Shamia and Kelly felt like they. It might have been a little dig. Like, why did they get that house and porch? Like a dig? What kind of dig? I don't know. I asked. And so now, 30 minutes ago, Pinky says, how do you. How do you feel about the housing arrangement, though? Is it giving random? Is it giving intentional? And Kelly's like, it's giving. What's happening? So Angela is like, so do you feel like that may have been the case? Because we're back in the present and Pinky is like, at first I did. I'm not going to lie. I'm not. Well, because the energy that you're bringing is a sense of hostility. Like, she did this on purpose. And Pinky's like, no, I'm not. I love Cynthia. There's no hostility here. I'm not saying she did it on purpose. I'm just questioning, did she do it on purpose? Because I think she did it on purpose, but I'm not saying she did it on purpose.

[Paige]

Well, I know, but I think, like, it was a situation where you were almost attacking us or like, attacking Cynthia for picking the room. She goes, yeah, I don't know you like that. And I'm just getting to know you. So this is new for me. Yeah, But Cynthia's beautiful.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And you brought us here on a beautiful jet, Cynthia, so thank you. Pinky's like, you did a great job. You know. You know, you didn't know. You didn't know Cynthia. You didn't know that you were ruining the lives of two people. One from a trucker family and one who sips from cups a lot. Big cup, sipper really hurting them.

[Ronnie]

Double cups, Two girls, one cup. So Porsche's like. She's like, yeah, you brought us on an amazing bus. And this house is beautiful. And look, there's a shrubbery over there. That's beautiful. Look at that banister. So beautiful. Cynthia, you have great selections of banisters in the houses you bring us to. I really don't see any problems here. I mean, and I think that you rectifying being the room being cleaned is like the most that you were expected to do. And you're just the best host of all. All time.

[Paige]

Yeah. She's like, you know, Pinky makes a point, but then she takes a hammer and just keeps hammering the point and hammering the point. We get it. Andrew's like, well, I was going to ask Portia, have you talked to Kelly? Did you have a chance to talk to her yet? Oh, no. Okay. Pinky's like, oh, are you going to talk tonight? I don't know, cuz last time my. I extended flowers to her, and, you know, she didn't take that as a beautiful gesture. Yeah, because you were skipping her event.

[Ronnie]

Broken Flowers. Broken person.

[Paige]

Yeah. So they all start kind of laughing. And Pinky's like, well, she said that you said that she slept with a married man. Was that because she said something about you first? She goes, no, that's true. I mean, I knew that or whatever, so I just said it.

[Ronnie]

I mean, two wrongs don't make a right. Or as I like to say, two beef patties don't make a good meal. Am I right, everyone? Vegan jokes.

[Paige]

Two beef.

[Ronnie]

I don't know.

[Paige]

Make a mushroom cap.

[Ronnie]

Two wheels of parm. Don't make a bag of nutritional yeast. Am I right? Am I right? Am I right?

[Paige]

Oh, so she's like, yeah, I don't know. And Pinky's like, yeah, two wrongs don't make a right. And I don't know what she said to you, but I'm sure that it was hurtful. I've heard it was hurtful. She said the same thing to me, except it was not true in my case. And Angela's like, I'm just trying to figure out between Porsche and Kelly what the appeal is about somebody's husband. I mean, you know, who doesn't want to. Married men. Married women, like, gross. Who wants to their husband? I don't want to my husband. Why would you want to my husband just say that? But that's kind of how I feel. I'm like, well, you know, I don't want to fuck him. Why would you.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, Angela's kind of like, they both did. They're both sluts. So Portia is saying, I just felt like I do want to move forward because I like Kelly and she liked me, but there's, like, other things amongst the group that, like, haven't been talked about. And they're like, really? Like, what? She goes, well, is everybody hearts and minds clear here? Because Phaedra and Pinky, are you guys giving the last conversation you had? I'm like, oh, God, are we going back to the vegan gate that Pinky may eat meat? Yeah, this one is talk. Look, that is, by the way, you know, that Pinky was getting somewhere with Portia in terms of, like, putting her on the hot seat, because Portia just completely pivoted the conversation away from her into the stupid feud about the meat, which we all know is kind of, like a big nothing. And now we're not talking about whether or not Portia may have slept with. With a married man.

[Paige]

Yeah, the big conversation.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And by the way, I still don't get this, because, see, a flashback of it and we see Kelly and Shamia joking about this, and wasn't Shamia saying, why are you saying why is Phaedra saying that she eats meat? And Kelly says, well, because she ate a steak or something. And they start laughing. So is Kelly the one who started the rumor that Phaedra just got confused?

[Ronnie]

I don't know. I can't track it. It's just. It's.

[Paige]

They've shown it twice. It's not like they haven't shown it. It's. I'm just. It just seems like the conversation is. Shimmy is saying, well, why do you think that Phaedra would say that she eats meat? And Kelly saying, because she ate a steak. And then they start laughing. So I thought that they were joking about Phaedra saying it. And it turns out that it was just Shamia coming up with this. I don't even know where, but coming up from it. From Phaedra saying she used to own a Jamaican restaurant before the vegans, the vegan stuff. And they served meat. Yes, they did. So I don't know.

[Ronnie]

All I know is that I thought this was all done last week and we're coming back to it. And I'm like, why are we back to this? It was, like, it was not appealing last week, and it did. It was not the springboard into a new dynamic. It was just a stupid thing that they tried to. Tried to make happen. And it just, like, did not happen, but they're going for it again this time around. So Pinky is basically saying, like, there's. It's been around the rumor mill that Phaedra, not Phaedra said I. That I eat meat. And Phaedra's like, you're worried about me saying that you eat meat when people are on the national news talking about how you don't pay your rent? I think your priorities are misplaced. Let it go, sister. Get delivered.

[Paige]

She goes. And then who was it said, was it you? Angela? And Phaedra's like, well, Angela told me it was Shami of it told you. And Pinky's like, well, Angela said it was Shamia because we went out when we went to her house. And Angela's like, right, you were with me. You were with me. And we see them at Shamia's hot tub telling Pinky and Angela that Phaedra said this. And Phaedra's like, well, me and Shamia, we're cool. But I would never be that casual with her. She said. I said, oh, child. Pinky ate meat. And I. I did not I honestly

[Ronnie]

say that I was watching this scene and I've seen this. This footage before, but I was like, she said that. I said that you said that. Shamia said that. Kelly said that you. I was like, I. I can't. I can't. Not only do I not really care about this, but I also can't follow it either. So Binky's like, how it was brought to me was that it was, like a serious thing. And at first when I heard it, I thought it was just like a joke. And I'm like, okay, I'll brush it off. But, you know, I'm a businesswoman and I've got a vegan business in bankruptcy. So when they kept saying that you said that, I was like, wait, she could be messing up my business. Like the la. You know, she could be messing up my business. Lady, you're filing for bankruptcy and you have headlines every single day about how you owe employees and you're in debt for this, you're in debt for that, but this is the thing that's going to mess up your brand. This is.

[Paige]

I mean. And so she's like, yeah. And, you know, and I asked you, and you said no, and I said, okay, well, then who said it? And so we see Kelly telling Shamia Pinky is not really a vegan and that she saw Pinky eating a steak. But I thought this. She was laughing, so I thought. This is the part I don't understand because it sounded like Shamia said, why would Phaedra say that she eats meat? And she's like, well, because she ate a steak. So I don't understand any of this. So Shamia's like, well, didn't she say she. And then we see Shamia telling us, didn't she say she ate meat on the call? You know, Phaedra knows what she said because she records everything on the Apple Watch, and she might be more on point than I am. So everybody knows Jamaicans eat meat. And, like, they're heavy on the meat. Oxtail, goat, beef, jerk chicken, extra jerk, heavy on the jerk. See, Phaedra tried to trick me. Well, Shamia just. Now she's. Now she's onto her meat humor.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Now here's a list of meat. I'm a trucker. Trucker. Pees in the cup. Now here's a list of meat.

[Ronnie]

List of meat. Yeah. Once you started doing this bit, I was like, oh, gosh. I just started. I just zoned it out and started looking at the strange proportions of her green screen. I was like, why can't they fix that?

[Paige]

Why is she floating above her living room floor scale?

[Ronnie]

Why? Why is her chair on a different plane from the floor? Doesn't make any sense.

[Paige]

So then we see the other girls at the pool talking about K. Michelle's new album and how country music is different. They release it differently. And then we go back now Cynthia comes over to them and she's like, so are you. Are you ladies good? I just wanted to let you know that they're working on getting the room cleaned and everything. And that was the only issue with the cleanliness of the room, right? Yeah, she said, because I know that's unacceptable. And Pinky was saying, you guys were really mad. She's like, well, Pinky was right. We were upset. It was dirty. It was very frustrating. And you would never intentionally do that, right, Cynthia? She goes, no. Yes, I went into your room and I put dust all over the fan.

[Ronnie]

Classic Cynthia Bailey behavior. Dusty. If we know anything about Cynthia Bailey, she's always going to try to make people as uncomfortable as possible.

[Paige]

Yeah. She's like. And she goes. And Callie's like, well, we're best friends. We're just not dirty ones. She goes, okay, you guys can stop saying dirty now. Okay? Stop saying dirty.

[Ronnie]

Thanks. Cynthia's like, when we did the initial walkthrough, I didn't notice the room was dirty because I know a room dirty room when I see one, and I just don't recall it being dirty. But I'm happy to make sure the lady of the house has some. Someone come and clean it. We'll be doing a ceremony of resurrection later this evening to make sure Brina hears our requests. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

[Paige]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

So then Cynthia leaves, and back at the dinner, Pinky's like, well, it's giving house divided. And Phaedra goes, what's giving divided? And Portia's like, well, actually, it is probably getting divided. And Pinky says, am I divided? Like, I have no problems with anybody here, and I don't have any problems with anybody there. And so Angela's been giving Pinky a look for a while now. So Portia's like, what are you looking at, Angela? And Pinky says, say it with your chest, Angela. And Angela goes, I mean, you're. You're on ready. It's just not. It's just not that type of time. She goes, well, I'm not making it that type of time. And you are, though. No, I'm not. Are you bothered, Pinky? No. You come across as bothered. I'm not bothered by you. Not by you. By me? No, I'm not bothered by you. I was cracking up because Angela's clearly like, we're gonna fight now.

[Ronnie]

Are you ready?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Angela's like, don't start this with me.

[Paige]

Here we go.

[Ronnie]

So Pinky's like, what are you saying? She's like, I asked, are you bothered? She's like, not by you. Absolutely not. That's a joke. And Por's like, this is turning. And she's like, well, why would I be bothered by you? I'm just asking you. Don't pose yourself as a threat to me. Oh, I wasn't trying to be a threat to you. Okay, but you come across as bothered, ma', am, there is nothing on you from head to toe that I am bothered by at all. At all. Oh, that's an insecurity. Is screaming. Insecure about what? They're really whipping themselves up.

[Paige]

She's like, come on. Like, look, you're looking at the physical. We can go dollar for dollar. We can go, come on. She goes, the physical. I think you want to have a walk off. She goes, let's do it. Because you're getting bothered. She like, I'm not bothered. God. Are you? Yes, you are. No, I'm not.

[Ronnie]

Yes, you are.

[Paige]

No, I'm not. You're bothered. I'm not bothered. You're bothered. I'm not bothered. You're bothered.

[Ronnie]

Are you mad? Are you mad? Are you mad? She's like, well, by the way you took it, it answers my question.

[Paige]

Well, I'm definitely not bothered by you. Not bothered by you. She just. Well, it's not about me. You made it about me. I never made it about you. Yes, you did. You made it about me. She's like, these he heels are high as hell. I'm as tall as you. She goes. And they go.

[Ronnie]

Suddenly they. Suddenly they're like, wow. She said. And she goes. And she goes. Stands for best in taking control of herself. So call me Ms. Oakley. Yeah, I like that. Goes, It's a term of endearment. I am a bad. She's like, bad that doesn't pay her bills. How many houses do you have left? And then he goes, you can never even touch the money that I've ever touched in my lifetime.

[Paige]

I could throw a rock and hit 10 people you owe. She goes, no, you can't. Multi million dollar business. Multimillion dollar. Multi million dollar bills.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I have a lot of money. My husband is paid just like. Well, I know. I know employees that you owe. It's like, okay, turn your fan on. You're sweaty. Well, I never canceled Christmas for my employees.

[Paige]

Jeez. Like, what. What are you talking about? She's what? How are you getting away? You know, how are you doing a giveaway when you owe people? Like, what are you even doing with that? Like, cancel Christmas? What are you talking about? Because you owe your employees money. What are you talking about? I don't owe employees, which.

[Ronnie]

You sure about that? How much do you own your foreclosures? She's like, I don't owe them anything, honey. They took them from you, baby. She's like, well. Well, you owe. You owe everybody from the people across the street. She goes, well, I owe you a new lace front because. Okay, Mr. Clean. Don't do it, Papa Smurf. When she said that, I died.

[Paige]

I'm going to remember that line until I die.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Okay. Mr. Pinky Cole, founder of Slutty Vegan, has faced multiple lawsuits alleging unpaid wages, tips, and bonuses for employees at her Atlanta bar, Vegan and New York locations. She settled one with Brooklyn employees for 10 grand. And. Yeah, yeah. So it's. I mean, it's definitely out there. Don't do it, Papa Smurf.

[Ronnie]

Oh, gosh. And Pinky goes, and I owe you some new.

[Paige]

And Papa Smurf in one sentence.

[Ronnie]

It was so perfect. It was so perfect.

[Paige]

And Pinky goes, yeah, and I owe you some veneers, okay, because that overbite thing, that you've got going on. She goes, girls, girl, not the way your teeth co. Mingle. The incestuous teeth you got.

[Ronnie]

Oh, incestuous teeth.

[Paige]

Not flowers in the attic teeth. No.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God. Incestuous teeth was amazing. Peter goes, this is a tool, honey. And I'm not sure who's gonna fall on the sword because don't you got menopause? Turn your fan on. She goes, no, I don't. Talk to me when you get your business back. She goes, talk to me when you get your properties back. I just bought my business back. No, you didn't. Cash. No, you didn't. Cash. Lies you tell. Well, you can kiss my ass.

[Paige]

Oh, my God, it's so funny. And Pinky gets up. She's like, I'm gonna get. I'm gonna get up and walk away. But then she didn't. And Angela's like, oh, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. And Pinky turns around and puts her. Her butt across the table. And she starts slapping her own ass. And she says, you can kiss my ass. And Phaedra's like, now if someone tells me to kiss their ass, I'm gonna need that to be a rump roast, not a flat steak. I want to lift it and pull it out.

[Ronnie]

Angie goes, you're not my type. She's oh, well, you're definitely not my type with your sweaty ass. And you've got investors looking for you. So what? So what? So at this point, Kelly and Shamia, they've been watching from down in the pool house because they see the cameramen have, like, swiveled into action. They're like, oh, something's going on. So now they're slinking in. It's kind of like, you know, like when a kid is like, I don't like you anymore. And, like, goes in their room and slams the door shut. But then, like, dinner's ready, and they sort of come slinking in, like, fine, I'll have dinner. Yeah, exactly.

[Paige]

It was so sad. They're like, we have absolutely nothing going on, and our feet are prunes by now, so I guess we'll join. So Pinky goes, the only person that's looking for you is a lash glue that you need to put on your eyes. She goes, oh, that you borrowed from me, please. And we see Pinky Bar borrowing her lash glue. So pink is like, let me. Let me tell you why you're a hating ass. She goes, oh, yeah, I'm a hating ass? Yeah. Listen. And you seem so empathetic. She goes, I am, but you deserved it.

[Ronnie]

This is why I don't hang with females. Because you're a vile female. You. I'm out of here. So she gets up again, and. And she's like, oh, you're gonna go. You're not. You're not finished. Because he's like, oh, I'm not going anywhere. I'm out of here. But guess what? I'm going nowhere. She sits down.

[Paige]

She was then. Actually, let me tell you something. And Drew is just the faces of the ladies watching. This was hell. I mean, they were hilarious. Porsche. Just the way that they're watching, like, wow, look at newbies. It took them a minute to warm up, but they're doing pretty good. You know, they're just enjoying it. And she was like, in my ears. I've never seen this before. I've never seen someone pursue a walk off and then reverse uno and sit back down. I don't know if that's what she was. What she was doing, or if she thought she was gonna do, but she didn't do it.

[Ronnie]

So Drew's like, how is this happening, by the way? Drew also found the best lighting at the table. She has, like, magic cinematic lighting on her. Every time they cut to her, I was like, wow, she's, like, radiating, so. And Pinky's like, I brought my team

[Paige]

from run

[Ronnie]

and, yeah, it was weird that there was a Martian Rex there. So Angela goes, I don't need a lecture, but I'm gonna say is, well, I thought that I liked you. I thought that I liked you. She goes, when I thought that I liked you too, and I don't gotta like you.

[Paige]

She's.

[Ronnie]

Well, I don't like you. I don't like you either. I don't like you either. I don't like you.

[Paige]

Yeah, I don't like you. Why? I don't like you. And Pinky's like, well, you sat in my face and you said something about the fact that I'm going through what I'm going through with my business. So you. She's like, I give a. She goes, yeah, you don't. You and you and your big ass feet. She goes, oh, yeah, you don't. Don't think I give a. She goes, your husband doesn't even like you. She go goes, oh, yeah? Well, what? Well, we don't have a living wife in the basement. And Pinky goes, what now? What are you talking, Portugal? What? A wife in the basement? We've already got a husband in the basement on this show. But now you got A wife in the basement. What is the wife in the basement thing?

[Ronnie]

I don't know.

[Paige]

I cannot wait.

[Ronnie]

Kelly, she's like, angela, at this point, probably needs to mind her business, because she's probably got somebody in her basement, too. She just doesn't know about it. So Piggy's like, what you're not gonna do is you're not gonna disrespect me. She's. Well. And you're not gonna disrespect me either. And guys like, stop. Stop. Oh, great, the girl. The girls from the pool come up, and now they're telling everyone to stop when we're having the most fun. We've had all up. So we had to. You guys moping around a pool.

[Paige]

Go back to the silo cup and be boring by the pool and complain about dust on a fan. Yeah, let us have our fun. So Pinky's like, well, I guess we're just two broke, sitting in a tree. And Angela goes, we are. We're millions in assets. And Pinky goes, yeah, millions in assets. Millions in assets. Stop it, you guys. Millions and assets. You must be obsessed. You know everything about me. You know everything about me.

[Ronnie]

I don't know anything about you,

[Paige]

but you know enough about me to have a conversation just. Oh, really? What color is my. Because you're all in my. Like, I don't even understand you.

[Ronnie]

I would never. You're not that attractive. Well, it's clear. It's clear that. And you know, you're. And you're not like, take that wig off. Take the matte lashes off. Take that lip off, and let's see how you look. And I would get the same man that I've got. No, you would look like a boy named Damon.

[Paige]

Everyone goes, ooh, Damon. Who's Damon?

[Ronnie]

Funny.

[Paige]

And Portia's like, yeah, she pulled that out of the web, out of the air or something.

[Ronnie]

Just like, hey, newbies, pool house. You guys don't just want to sit down. You guys can have a food. It's okay. We won't. We won't get mad at you. So the girls sit down, and then Pinky all of a sudden goes, I don't want to argue with you, Angela. And angel goes, girl, I love you.

[Paige]

Well, that sounds like a peace offering. Yeah, I don't want to argue with you. Yeah, well, if we could take it back. Your tone, you know, I'm not saying you're bothered by me, because that's not what I was trying to say, but your tone does come across as aggressive. She's like, okay.

[Ronnie]

Like, the most vicious reads, and then it's like, I love you. That was fun.

[Paige]

Good job.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Phaedra says, well, this was not on my bucket list to be part of the war of the words between Angela and Pinky. But that has been most satisfying to me. Delicious. They're both the same people. I love it. They're both in so much debt.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God.

[Paige]

So much.

[Ronnie]

I am very confused with Kate's energy. She doesn't want to have a seat. She doesn't want to eat. I don't know. But I've really gotten to know her. But it's giving crank. It's giving cranky. So, yeah. So Kay goes to bed, and so basically, what we hear, what we're seeing is that now Drew is going to go barking up the K. Michelle tree, and I feel like it's not going to work out so well.

[Paige]

Yeah. I don't know. Because I don't. Yeah, I guess we'll see. Time will tell. I'll just wait to see. But yeah, k. Michelle needs. Needs something, so maybe they'll help her because this, I think, helped Pinky a great deal. Angela helped. Yeah. And Pinky helped Angela because this. This was the best thing of the season. And, I mean, it's sad that it has to be when they fight, but, God, it's so fun. They were just so funny. Don't do it, papa Smurf.

[Ronnie]

Don't do it, Mr. Clean.

[Paige]

Shut it, papa Smurf.

[Ronnie]

I love watching, especially women who are so quick on their feet, you know? It's just like, I love. I. Because I just love women, and I love. I just love. I love. I love a smart woman. And I'm not saying it like, oh, my God, most women are dumb. I'm being like, I love excellence. I love excellence. And, you know, and I love seeing it coming from ladies. So to see. To see just, like, two. Two women just, like, just pulling like, I could never. I could literally never sit there and come up with these reads. Back to back to back to back to back. Like, they just went and went and went and went. And it's just like seeing two people who are just, like, great at their art form. And I was especially.

[Paige]

Angela was the best one.

[Ronnie]

I feel like I make it sound like, oh, women are so stupid. So when. Once someone. When a woman finally gets, like, put

[Paige]

their words together, it's great.

[Ronnie]

I'm not.

[Paige]

Let me tell you, audience has met gay people before, okay? Like, explaining, like, the gay. The gay psyche to people. Like, we don't know what it is. We love it. Just, we love snapping, telling each other. We love sarcastic women. Okay? It's in our DNA. That's why we're here.

[Ronnie]

But it's like a true talent to be able to immediately say something like your incestuous teeth. Those incestuous teeth. To be able to have a comeback so fast is a talent. And we love seeing you talented, you know, so funny.

[Paige]

Yeah, agreed. All right, everybody. Well, thank you so much for being here. What a fun one. We'll be back a little bit later with Real Housewives of Rhode island and go get your cabaret tickets for June 5 in New York City, the 9:30pm show. Or if you guys want to live stream it. All of those live stream tickets are available now. So join us for that. And thanks so much for being here. We'll talk to you next time.

[Ronnie]

Bye. Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

[Paige]

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[Ronnie]

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[Paige]

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[Paige]

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