Ben (2:18)

Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

Ronnie (2:20)

Good, how are you?

Ben (2:24)

I am like beyond great right now.

Ronnie (2:27)

Wow.

Ben (2:28)

How are you? Wow.

Ronnie (2:29)

Beyond great.

Ben (2:31)

Well, because I spent basically two and a half seasons of the Valley saying that there's pools of darkness in Danny's eyes. And finally, finally he showed him true. His true self. And I'm like, I get to be Ronnie today. I can say I did it. I saw it, I saw it.

Ronnie (2:52)

He was a little, oh, my God. That guy's pretty much irredeemable. At this point. F that guy. God.

Ben (2:58)

Yeah. I told you last season he's being protected. I said last season he's being protected. And now Jax isn't there. So now they're showing it all niche.

Ronnie (3:10)

Well, we'll get into that. It is the Valley day today on Watchwater Robins. We're doing a cabaret in New York, a musical, a Bravo musical. It's going to be on June 3rd and June 5th in New York City at Club 42. Okay. The tickets are sold out for the first two shows. We added a show on June 5th at 9:30pm so that's our last one. It's going to be super fun. So come see that if you want to live stream the show. There are tickets for all three nights to live stream. So you can join us that way if you want to. Okay, who's going to stop you? Not me. So join us for that. Also, if you want this recap on video or you want bonus episodes or you want ad free listening or you want Discord server to talk to other listeners, all that good stuff, go to patreon.com that's where you get that. And today, it's the Valley. Season three, Episode six. All aboard.

Ben (4:05)

All aboard. Yes. We're going to San Diego. San Diego. You know, we should probably address one thing right at the top of this episode that, you know, last week I like, I know I personally was like, oh, my God, this is so crazy. Michelle Lolly and Dr. Dre. Like, this is. This is absolutely. I was like. Because I was so amused.

Ronnie (4:26)

Oh, yeah. That.

Ben (4:27)

That. That Michelle Lolly, like, has wound up with, like, a global superstar and icon. Like, like, where did that come from? I'm still very amused by that. But a lot of people DM me to remind me that Dr. Dre also has a horrific, terrible past as someone who's beaten up his wives and girlfriends. And so, like, I'm not making light of that at all whatsoever. And it's also very scary. And I hope that that, like, Michelle will be okay and safe. But I want to address. I. If I didn't know, it just is something I just wasn't even thinking about.

Ronnie (5:00)

I wasn't coming up on my stuff alerts. What can I tell you?

Ben (5:04)

I'll have my.

Ronnie (5:05)

My doctor. My doctor Dre Google alert set. Yeah, but, yeah, I didn't know, but I looked it up and it's bad. I mean, yeah, he's an asshole. You know, even beyond that stuff, like when you. What am I trying to say? Beyond, like, what's Even worse than abuse. I'm not trying to say that. I'm just starting aside.

Ben (5:26)

Maybe saying, aside from.

Ronnie (5:27)

In addition to being an abuser, he's quoted as saying something like, well, so what? Like, you know, like, just blowing it off. Like, who cares? Like, she started it. I'm like, oh, wow. Classy. Classy. So, yeah, that guy's a real prick. So.

Ben (5:45)

So, yeah, it's a lot.

Ronnie (5:46)

It's a lot thornier than maybe Michelle's thinking there.

Ben (5:49)

But, yeah, so, like, that was obviously not something that we were considering as we were just being snarky. It was just to me, of course, I'm always attracted to the shiny trinkets of fame. And I'm like, oh, my God, how

Ronnie (5:59)

hilarious that she's not the only one, apparently.

Ben (6:02)

Yeah. I love the fact that, like, she went from Jesse L. To a superstar, and I was like, oh, my God, that's so cool. But obviously, there's more than meets the eye, so just want to acknowledge that. Like, we hear you all on that. So that being said, it wouldn't be the Valley without, you know, undertones of darkness, and we have lots of that today, so. I know, right? Like, way to start it off, everyone. So we at.

Ronnie (6:27)

Also, it's the Valley, so of course someone's going to, you know, date an abuser. Wouldn't be the first time on this show, but. What the are you thinking, Michelle? You have a child.

Ben (6:35)

Hello.

Ronnie (6:37)

So, yeah. So now, previously, Tom went out. What were you gonna say?

Ben (6:43)

I was just gonna skip the previously because it starts with previously, Tom. And I'm like.

Ronnie (6:47)

I'm just gonna say previously.

Ben (6:50)

Yeah, I will say I had kind of a very Valley moment last night. I felt like. I felt like I was. Felt like a Lala moment, which is appropriate because it happened at a valet stand. So, you know, Valley valet is almost the same thing. And I was getting my car from the valet, and this girl walks right up to the valet and goes, can I get my car? I've been waiting an hour. A hour. And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, it's all happening. An amazing moment at the ballet stand. And I was like. And she was. She looked like Lala. She was talking like, lala. I was like, this. And the ballet was, like, horrified. And then. And then she just started to laugh. She's. I'm with you, Dustin. I'm with you. It's my birthday. Because I did a good job, right? And then I was like, yeah, you did a good job. He's like, yeah, I didn't know what the was going on. I was like, you did a really good job. She goes, oh, my God, thank you. I really committed. I said, I'm gonna talk about on the podcast, my podcast tomorrow. She goes, you are. Oh, my God, thank you. So here it is, me talking about it, but also like, who the does that? Terrifying the poor valet. I love that.

Ronnie (7:57)

That's funny. So we start with Lala. Speaking of. She's walking around while Sosa crawls behind her. And she's like, yeah, that's so good. So bye girl. And Sosa's like, bye, girl. I think she just said. And they put on bye girl, but it was still pretty cute.

Ben (8:17)

Top of the morning. Top of the morning to you. And then we go to Michelle's house and she's with Isabella and she's like, I think you need to burn up some energy. Isabella, do you want to practice a push up? What? Since what? I feel like I've never heard a parent say that. Like, okay, normally it's like, you need a timeout or do you want to draw? You need. Do you want a snack? But not, do you want to practice a push up for the president's physical fitness exam coming up, I would like

Ronnie (8:50)

you to hang from this bar for a little while and let us see how that works out.

Ben (8:56)

Would you like to work on your floor routine?

Ronnie (8:59)

Yeah. She doesn't make her kid do push ups, so Isabella's just riding her while she does push ups. Oh, my gosh. It's so cute. That cokehead guy, big eyes, whatever his name was, is at home. Like, darn. Now she's working out as much as I wanted.

Ben (9:16)

So then Zach arrives at Tom Tom, and Tom himself is behind the bar, and Zach is like, oh, my God. Since, like, when are you behind the bar, sir? It's like, oh, my God. Zach back. Oh. So they go to the back because they have a big table out there and Janet is. Janet's there. So because she now has, like, made some inroads with Zach. So, like, she's really excited to be doing things, like having drinks with a friend again, which she hasn't done all season. She's like, oh, my God. Did you leave Britney's house before us or after us? I left, like, slightly before you all. Oh, my God. She's like, oh, my God. Best friend. Best friend. You guys, like, left a little bit after us. Oh, my God. Amazing.

Ronnie (9:56)

So Tom says he got them bloody Marys, but they're not bloody Marys. They're like vodka sodas. He's like, oh, well, I make a wicked Bloody Mary. But, you know, this guy has a signature one. I thought, you dig? I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm, like, in my youthful phase now. I'm, like, dating young people, so I'm gonna say youthful things, like, dig a lot in this episode. I dig her. I dig this. I dig his. I dig his recipe. He. Am I right? The kids are still saying that, right? I dig it.

Ben (10:27)

Yeah. By the way, I totally. It's like, let's have a peek behind the curtain. A lot of times we walk. I watch these shows. I watch them. I, like, internalize them. But then I go through this, like, period of time where I forget anything that happened on the show for, like, the two hours leading up to this podcast. That's really weird. And then as we start to go through our notes, it all comes back to life for me. It's like a wilted plant that's being watered. And I completely forgot about Tom's model friend. And, oh, my God, this girl, which she is so ridiculous. This girl Kiana, who comes on. And I'm just remembering it now, and I know, like, I'm jumping the gun here by talking about her before she's coming up. Like, guys, this girl is so ridiculous. This girl is ridiculous. I was cracking up by her.

Ronnie (11:13)

Kiana. My friends Kiana and Rachel, they're so amazing. They're gonna come. Yeah, I. This devastatingly, I don't know, beautiful woman. We met one of the last nights of Shorts, and Sandy's was open, but, you know, it's just, like, always platonic until, you know, she came in town, and then we went on a date, and then it just was, like, it went exponential. Like, I haven't introduced her to my friends yet because part of me just doesn't want to jinx it. I'm just so nervous. I'm just a boy.

Ben (11:45)

So then Tom was like, yeah, she's a model. She lives in New York, but she also has a place here. She's a baller. Oh, wow. Tom, how old is your lady friend? Oh, she's 27. The old, perfect age. I know it's a little bit on the old end, but, you know, I'm getting older and wiser, so, you know, I just figured, why not date a geriatric?

Ronnie (12:09)

Yeah, 27. He's 43, so that's, you know, 16 years, I guess. In LA, that's not so bad, you know? So he says they. They bumped into each other at a bar, and she approached him of course, because, you know, he's on tv, Then she wouldn't date him.

Ben (12:25)

Yeah.

Ronnie (12:26)

But now he's on TV again, so now she's dating him is how I'm taking all this. And Janet's like, so she's not your girlfriend. She's just a talking kind of friend. Oh, no. She's like, my favorite person ever. She's, like, amazing.

Ben (12:39)

Oh, my. Is my Britney.

Ronnie (12:46)

Today, y'.

Ben (12:47)

All. I got to be sober today guy. Oh, my God.

Ronnie (12:50)

Yeah, she has to be sober from

Ben (12:52)

now until her surgery. It's insane. I've got these t. He's out putting new ones back in. Basically. Ranch dressing on the left has an island on the right. And Jason's like, oh, well, I didn't know you were doing that. Like, yeah, I'm getting a full mom bake over here. Let's look at what the doctor said a few days ago. Flashback, please.

Ronnie (13:12)

These doctors, my goodness. Like, I'm coming in for some love handle work. The doctor's like, all right, you want to go smaller with the boobs? All right, we'll also do some lipo here. Lipo on your back, your flanks, your butt, your feet. We're going to take off your feet. We're going to replace your knee with an actual knee that's decent looking. Okay. You should be embarrassed of these things.

Ben (13:31)

Jeez. When you said we're gonna, like, lipo your back and flanks, the flanks was hilarious to me. Flanks. We're also gonna take out your sirloin. And I don't know, you want that ribeye in there, too, or should we just take the whole thing out?

Ronnie (13:47)

One thing that's perfect on you. Your ham. Your ham's really good. So. And then he goes, don't worry. We can get you in and out of here real quick. Okay, first of all, is that true that you just go in and get all of that done and it's real quick? And second of all, I don't want to hear that, like, you're about to redo my entire body. I don't want to hear how easy it is for you.

Ben (14:09)

Yeah.

Ronnie (14:10)

You know what I mean?

Ben (14:11)

Take a long time, please.

Ronnie (14:13)

Yeah.

Ben (14:14)

So this one, Brittany sits down, and then she's looking at Zach and Janet, and she's like, oh, this is amazing. You do. And Janet's like, I know. I mean, look at my best friend of me. Look, isn't this funny? And Zach tells us, with Janet, I can always have, like, a surface level meal with her. But, like, I don't want her thinking that like, one apology fixes everything. Like, words mean nothing. I need to see actions and. But Janet, of course, is like. I actually think Janet is just being tongue in cheek here. But she's also kind of like. I think she's also trying to annoy Zach because she keeps on calling him her best friend over and over and over again. And he is, like, gritting his teeth, he's like, no, we're not best friends. Excuse me.

Ronnie (15:00)

That's just Janet. You know, it's funny Janet. Yes, Funny, charming Janet. What are you gonna do? Yeah. You know the word breakthrough? That's a strong word. It's really a strong word. But, you know, I mean, it sounded like you had a heavy, healthy conversation. Yeah, we had the best conversation. We're like besties now, right? Zach, Me and Zach, my bestie, she says, yeah, Zach's my friend, and we. He can take a joke, you know, normally. Like, we can play tennis with it. You know, me go back and forth with that witty repartee, like, I'm your bestie. No, you're not. Yes, I am. I hate you. You want to come to my birthday? Wish you were dead. It's really fun.

Ben (15:37)

I'm glad we had, like, one conversation where we didn't, like, try to kill each other just for once. And, like, that does not make us BFFs. I'm her BFF. Apparently, she's not mine. It's a pretty good. You know what? Well, San Diego, that means everything might be a little bit better, too. I'm, like, super excited to take the train down. Oh, are we taking the. Try the choo choo. Okay. Do we have to shovel coil coal into the burner?

Ronnie (16:04)

Like, how's that work?

Ben (16:05)

Are we going back in time? We're going forward in time. I don't know. We have to. 85 miles per hour, right, Britney? It's the best train.

Ronnie (16:11)

The view is just, like, crazy cool. I do love that train.

Ben (16:16)

I love it, too. Although we had a terrible experience once where we took the train down to San Diego for a show, and then we're gonna take the train back up to LA for our show that night. And then we had to. The train was canceled because it hit someone, so we had to. That was traumatic, especially for the person.

Ronnie (16:36)

And why are you blaming the train for hitting the person? That is. That is not fair. That was not cool. The. The person was to blame in that one. The train is going on a very specific route.

Ben (16:49)

I know the train.

Ronnie (16:50)

The train did not come out of nowhere.

Ben (16:53)

I know. I agree. And Then we had to take an Uber all the way from San Diego to L. A which was very expensive. And we had a driver who talked the entire time. And I don't even remember what he talked about at this point, but it was. It was terrible. It was.

Ronnie (17:05)

Yeah, I blacked that part of it out. I blacked the Uber part of it out. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. Lately I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day. And I'm leaning into pieces that feel easy and comfortable but still put together. It just makes getting dressed simpler. Quince has been my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are clean, and everything just works without needing to overthink. Think it.

Ben (17:33)

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Ronnie (17:48)

Their pants also hit that same balance. Relaxed and comfortable, but still polished enough to wear pretty much anywhere.

Ben (17:55)

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Ronnie (18:23)

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Ben (18:59)

Yeah, and by the way, they have a coffee flavor and I find that that's the perfect treat because I am a coffee girly. And I'm a treat girly. So put them together and give me some coffee cache of them.

Ronnie (19:08)

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Ronnie (19:35)

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Ben (19:46)

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Ronnie (19:57)

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Ronnie (20:19)

So now guess who's here, guys. Kiana. What a dork. This chick is such a lose. Okay, so she comes in wearing sunglasses and refuses to take them off and then just like keeps pulling them down. Yeah, she like keeps putting them on the tip of her nose. Look at people and then put some right back up. So I'm thinking either she's just a weirdo or she's just a day daytime cokehead. What do you think? She.

Ben (20:47)

She is a weirdo. I feel like she's someone who saw modeling on TV and I was like, I'll be that. I'll be Gigi. I know, I know how to do it because she obviously she looks like a model. She's like a model for sure. She's not not a model. But like her whole demeanor is so bonkers. She with those sunglasses, she spends half the scene with them perched on the very tip of her. Like she's in a beer commercial from the 80s, like checking out like a hot girl in a bikini. And she's like, hey guys, like, what's going on? I'm like, keep it. Either take them off or keep them on. But like this up and down, up and down was like driving me nuts. And she also sort of like came in with A vibe like, hey, I'm like, I've been part of this friend group for a long time. Like, she just was already up and big and she's like, I'm here real.

Ronnie (21:29)

Hey, boy.

Ben (21:30)

Hi, I'm Kiana, everyone. Okay. Hi. What's going on? Okay. Oh, my God. What a day, right, guys? Like, is. I'm gonna sit at the head of the table. That's where the models sit normally. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's my friend Naomi Campbell over there. Hi. Hi. It's model talk. Sorry, what's going on with you? Not models.

Ronnie (21:48)

Yeah. I was saying they're 16 years apart, which isn't that bad for LA, but you really see it in this scene because she's like, oh, my God. Hi, I'm a model. I'm in sunglasses. I'm in la. I'm wearing sunglasses on the tip of my nose. So sorry, I can't look at you guys when I get that at the table. Me, Kieran, the model. Hilarious, you guys.

Ben (22:06)

Hilarious.

Ronnie (22:08)

Yeah, I'm here in la, but I'm also in New York. You guys totally travel all the time. Guess what? Traveling to London on Monday. That's right. Yeah. I'm at the head of the table. I'm flexing. I travel a lot. I'm a young model.

Ben (22:21)

So where are you guys going? Oh, San Diego. That's great. I'm sure they have a huge high fashion scene. I'm going to, like, New York and London because, like, that's what models do. Oh, my God. It's like, I just got back into town. But, like, is it count as back into town if you already live here? Is you just, like, you're just in town all the time because your house represents you. I don't know. It's crazy being a model.

Ronnie (22:41)

Yeah. I'm like back and forth, like once a week, I think, on Tuesday. And Janet says, oh, wow. So the miles, you must have a lot of miles. Am I right? Do you follow the points guy? Jason loves the points guy. We're best friends.

Ben (22:56)

How high is the hood over here?

Ronnie (22:57)

The joke.

Ben (22:58)

I tell you, you're very tall. I don't think you could come to my house. You may have a head injury if you come to the kitchen. Yeah, you're a model.

Ronnie (23:07)

You're a model. That's really cool. Do you have a ball pit in your house? No, didn't think so.

Ben (23:17)

So then Zach is like, I wish I could be as cool as Kiana. I mean, I don't know if I look good in glasses. Though, like, do I have it? Do I have it down? Like. Like, who are better, me or Kiana? I wish I were as skinny as her, though, but, like, whatever. Hey. Hey. So, Kiana, Tom, how many dates have you guys been on? Have you been to Buffalo Wild Wings yet? Because that's where all the supermodels go.

Ronnie (23:38)

I heard. Okay, calm down. Relax over there. Crazy lady. Geez. Well, yeah, Britney, what are you, a journalist or something?

Ben (23:46)

Well, it's just I've known Tom for years, and just seeing him, like, oh, goody. He just made me laugh like that. This is so cute. Look at his face. So give me some love. You got some love? Y' all gonna have babies. You're gonna have baby right now, aren't you? K? And to answer your question, I'm a journalist for you're a cool guy Quarterly. So Jason is. You're a cool guy. Kingsley, you're a cool guy. You're a cool guy. You're a cool guy. So Zach is like, tom, how about you go get drinks at the front of the bar with Kiana? Cuz the producer said we have to shoo you away. Like, oh, great. So Tom and Kiana go to the bar, and this was such a gratifying moment for me. And I think you know exactly why. Because they sit on the bar stools at the bar, and Kiana's like, what the. I'm a model. This is way too low. And he's like, oh, gosh. The only complaint we ever get here is that the stools are too low. And that is 100% correct. The first time I went to TomTom, I sat on those bar stools and they are like. They're like chair height, not bar height. And bar height is a different height. Like, a bar stool is higher than a chair. As I think we all know for anyone who's ever sat on a stool versus a chair. And so when you sit on them, you literally. The bar comes up to your clavicle and you feel like you're in some, like, movie where there's an adult playing like a kid, and they put them in a low chair so that way they look smaller. And I just like when you. You can't, like, rest your arms on the bar because it's so high up, and you're like, what is going on here? And I love Tom sitting here saying, acknowledging it first and foremost. But then I got mad because I'm like, if this is the only complaint you get. And this bar has been open for almost seven years, if not More. Why have you guys not changed your bar stools? Like, this is. You guys literally just renovated your entire bar. You opened up a whole second section it, and you can't get new bar stools. I am, like, furious now, because now you have acknowledged that you know about the problem and you're not doing anything about it. Get standard siiz bar stools. Enough already.

Ronnie (26:02)

It's on purpose, man. That's why they don't get rid of it. It's a design choice because it's Tom. Tom. And every man needs to go into that bar and sit down and feel like a little boy. Because I'm just a boy. I'm a Tom. I want to be just a boy.

Ben (26:18)

I want to bring up rooster seat next time I go into TomTom.

Ronnie (26:22)

And he goes, I'm sorry, my friends are so embarrassing. She goes, why? This is like, lmfao. Oh, God.

Ben (26:30)

When she said that, I. I forgot. This is lmfao. Oh, my God. So. So Tom's like, well, yeah, but people love the food. They love the drinks. They love the vibe. And they're like, like, why is the seat so low? Yeah, get a booster seat. Oh, my God. Ben on the podcast just said that, and now he's embarrassed that Kiana said the same thing too. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. So then Tom's like, yeah, we'll get a phone booth. So they're just, like, bantering.

Ronnie (26:56)

He's like, we'll get a phone book. But you don't even know what that is because you're just a little baby. So she's like, yeah, let's not go there. And he says, cheers. And she says, cheers. Eye contact. Hold on. Let me pull my. To pull down my glasses. Okay, yeah, eye contact. Okay, they're back up. They're back up now. Yeah, they're all conspiring me to get set up on dates and everything. And I was just like, well, I do have a crush. Oh, crush.

Ben (27:25)

A little kindergarten crush. Oh, gosh.

Ronnie (27:29)

You're not there. I didn't say that to anybody. Oh, my God, you're there. Oh, my God, you're not there anymore. Oh, my God, you're there. Are you playing peekaboo with me? Could you. Could you please just stop playing peekaboo? But that's what you're doing with your glasses, isn't it?

Ben (27:44)

Yeah. And then she's like, oh, so what does your crush look like? Oh, she's tall, she's funny. She's ridiculously good looking at her Nose can really hold a good sunglass on it. Oh, wow, that sounds like me. Yeah. And she's got a rakish wit. Oh, well, thank you. I mean, so we. We. So, so we talked to no girls. Seriously? Ah, no. What? What's happening? Gosh, I haven't had this feeling in quite some time and I don't know, there's a part of me that's like extra precious with this one because as we get older, the girls stay younger. Remember that joke? I don't want to it up. I don't know how many more chances I have at love. Well, you have to first take a chance at love to get a chance at love.

Ronnie (28:27)

Yeah, I'm sure this is going to work out great.

Ben (28:32)

Yeah, this seems like a real chance at love. Kiana with the sunglasses.

Ronnie (28:35)

Yeah. I was like, I guess we have a crush on each other. And she's like, yeah, I guess. She goes, well, I want you to know I'm strict. Goes, yeah, you're strict. I love that. Alpha. I love that. I like a short leash. She's like, you like a short leash? Okay, say less. You'll get a short leash. Oh, please, Tom, you do not like a short leash. What are you talking about?

Ben (28:57)

Fire this man from the show. This is ridiculous right here. Fire this man. It's just not interesting. It's too annoying. It's too stupid. Like, just get him out. Like, keep him as a friend of. Friend of. Is fine, but like, we do not need to see these scenes anymore. This is a creative failure. On part of. On the part of Bravo and Alex Baskin and whoever else is like the caterer. Everyone, everyone involved. The Uber driver who got him here, Everyone failed. So now we go over to everyone, every single person. Kristen meeting up with Lacy and Nia costume store. So I. First of all, this was so cruel. Cuz this door is on Hollywood Boulevard. Which mean that meant that they dragged all these people over to Hollywood for this scene. Are there no costumes in the Valley? I mean, it's a famous costume store for sure in the city, but poor Nia having to drive all the way down from Santa Clarita to go to this dingy part of Hollywood Boulevard. And you know, she, you know, she was not. She walked in all smiling. She's like, the cameras are on. Gotta smile. But you know, she was like, daniel, they're making me walk on the ball. Hollywood Walk of Fame. I'm scared.

Ronnie (30:02)

She immediately covers the baby's face. She's like, I don't want the baby to see anything. In here. I mean, because there were scary things.

Ben (30:09)

Things.

Ronnie (30:09)

But also, it's a baby. I mean, that baby wakes up to Danny's face every day.

Ben (30:12)

That baby's about to wake up to you guys having sex tonight, by the way, spoiler alert. According to the rest of the episode.

Ronnie (30:19)

So, Chris, baby sleeping? Well, probably not anymore. Gez.

Ben (30:22)

Kristen the werewolf just ran into the back room. Like, what was that?

Ronnie (30:27)

It's like, wow, this place is special, huh? But I guess we need costumes for San Diego and. Because, you know, like, I don't know, I'm gonna. I have a thing planned. It's gonna be so fun. You know, we're gonna. You know. Because I was a beauty pageant girl. Well, so now, first, Lacey comes in before we figure out what's going on, and she's like, hi. Hi, everybody. Wow. I don't know if I'm even going to go to San Diego because I don't love spending time with people that I don't want to be around.

Ben (31:03)

Well, that's understandable. You know, I understand Janet. No, Jesse, I don't want to be around him.

Ronnie (31:11)

Really? You didn't want to go so bad that you came all the way here from Newport? I guess she's probably staying with Jesse overnight or something.

Ben (31:17)

Yeah, so. By the way, that's the other thing. Like, I mean, even, like, Santa Clarita's farm about Newport to this stupid costume shop and just to get some tiaras. Excuse me.

Ronnie (31:27)

Yikes.

Ben (31:28)

This is so cruel.

Ronnie (31:29)

So is it Michelle you don't want to be around? No, I find Michelle fine. Any issue I've had with Michelle in the past really derived, in my opinion. I thought she was going to say from Jesse because it's from Jesse. She's like. But it's from Janet because Jesse's told Michelle and Janet how badly it hurt my feelings, and Janet never even attempted to apologize. Dot, dot, dot.

Ben (31:51)

So, no, I'm sorry. That's a stretch. You cannot blame Janet for why you dislike Michelle. Like, that's crazy. It's. It's Jesse.

Ronnie (32:00)

No Michelle. Yeah.

Ben (32:01)

Yeah.

Ronnie (32:02)

Wait, you can't blame Jen. Problems with Michelle. Yeah. Yeah, I see.

Ben (32:07)

I'm sorry. You can't. Like, the thing was the whole thing. You served a season, desisted Janet, and now you're gonna be like, I don't want. Like, I'm mad at her now. I mean, yeah, sure, you don't want Janet talking about you on tv, fine, but that can't be the reason why you have issues with Michelle. I'm sorry. That's not it. It. It's because Jesse has filled. Has told you all the worst parts of Michelle. And now, though, you realize it behooves you to be nicer to Michelle because Michelle's being a little nicer. And it's like a bad look. So it's just like, just throw it onto Janet because she's like the punching bag. I mean, deservedly so. You know, not saying, like, dessert. Not literally deservedly so, but more like Janet causes a lot of shit, so a lot of people get annoyed at her. So, like, I understand why people get annoyed. Annoyed. But I feel like this is a weird. This feels like a stretch even for this show.

Ronnie (32:56)

I'm all for it. So Lacey's like, well, she was reaching out to people I know, like, trying to find things out. Ben. See, so it's more than just what Michelle did. She was investigating me. It's weird to me when somebody has screenshots of, like, my HOA fees and there's Reddit threads about me in her phone. Like, I feel like she's looking for a smoking gun, but my life is pretty transparent. It's more like, you should be spending your time in a. In a more efficient way.

Ben (33:27)

So, like, you're gonna need a little more spice here.

Ronnie (33:30)

Yeah, you need to be like, you need to spend more time fixing your

Ben (33:33)

low range or smoking gun is in my doomsday bunker, which I will never say where it is. Something so Nia. Nia's like, Lacy and I do have a lot in common. I don't really want to be around Janet ever for the rest of my life. So Lacey says it's more like that mean girl mentality of, like, she just wanted to gang up on me and maybe I'll go. I don't know, maybe. And Chris goes, well, I would love for you to go and hang out with me. It's like, yeah, hang out with us. It'll be fun. Just the three of us. Us having a big, fun personality time. Yeah. So much fun. Come join us.

Ronnie (34:15)

That's these two. Lots of fun. Kristen and Mia. Lots of fun right now. So Michelle is packing for San Diego and everyone's packing. It's a packing scene. And Zach's like, oh, my God, I'm so glad we got safari outfits for this trip. It's gonna be amazing. And why are they acting like San Diego is some glamorous, far away destination? It's hilarious. Especially Michelle's like, I cannot believe we are going to go to my hometown of San Diego. Everyone will see where I Am from. We've all been to San Diego, Michelle.

Ben (34:52)

It is funny. They really are acting like it's an exotic place to go to. And it's like, it's nice. San Diego's nice. But, like, you're not going to the Seychelles. So Nia is like, I really hope I can get. I hope we can get our daughter on the bottle before we leave. Yes. Because she's. She's laughing because she thinks that's funny. She's saying, no, no, no show. Safari. No safari. Safari park. Right, whatever. So they're just like, packing. And Danny really wants to bring ripped jeans. And she's like, ripped jeans are over.

Ronnie (35:23)

No, no ripped jeans. And then they show like 10 pictures of Danny only wearing ripped jeans everywhere he goes. I mean, listen, I love an actor wearing jeans with no, no material over the knees because it just shows how hard they've worked to get where they are. This is hard.

Ben (35:44)

So now Kristen and Luke are packing and everything, and Luke is like, this is the time to wear my cargoes, isn't it? See, I guess that's all he really needed was just to wear some cargo shorts once in a while. She's like, you can absolutely wear your cargos. You can't just bring a ton of T shirts. You know, I'm bringing you a ton of T shirts. You bring your cargoes. Let's go wild in San Diego show.

Ronnie (36:05)

Yeah. That's all the men want on this show is to just wear terrible pants. They're like, so we're on vacation. I get freedom to wear the terrible pants of my choice, right?

Ben (36:14)

Yes, you do. So then she's like, by the way, did you hear any of the conversation with Zach yesterday? Because we went to TomTom. So, like, yeah, here's what happened. I said, how are you and Janet? And he was like, she's totally delusional. She thinks like, we're best friends now. And he's like, I don't trust her. She's crazy cook all. I mean, yesterday Zach calls me and he's like, I'm not friends with Janet. And it's like, Zach, if you're giving, like, her an end, she's going to take a mile. Like, what version are you giving her? Oh, my God, I can't believe that Zach talked to Janet. She's like, spiraling about this conversation.

Ronnie (36:40)

She's like, yeah, he's being like, really flip floppy. And she also told Zach that she thinks her and I are good. And I was like, what the fuck planet do you live on, Janet? Fuck

Ben (36:52)

y' all. And you said like, like, wait, sorry, sorry. That was me doing my Zach impersonation. Chris, did you get yells? Very convincing thing. Yeah. So you said she said something about like a peace pipe. Was there but there was no conversation. Yeah, no, like, whatever. Like we both were like smoking weed. It's like, whoa, wow. We had something in common for like five minutes. We'll smoke weed. Like, there's no peace pipe.

Ronnie (37:16)

Geez.

Ben (37:16)

Kristen just said if you give her an inch, she'll take a mile. You gave her a peace pipe or you gave.

Ronnie (37:21)

That was you. That was the inch.

Ben (37:23)

Yeah, that was the inch.

Ronnie (37:24)

That was it.

Ben (37:25)

Commercials. Here comes one right now. We're lost. It feels like we're going round in circles. I'm gonna ask that man for directions. Hi there. We're trying to get to the state fairgrounds. Well, you're going to take a left at the old oak tree at this here road. Nah, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

Ronnie (37:50)

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Ben (37:52)

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Ronnie (37:55)

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Ben (37:56)

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Ronnie (38:00)

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Ben (38:04)

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Ronnie (39:04)

So Michelle and Britney arrived at the train station and Michelle's like Oh my God.

Ben (39:08)

I can't believe you have two suitcases. That was a great Britney impersonation, Michelle. So why are we both doing that today? Because we're deranged. So Britney's like, well, I've never been here before. That's why I've never been to San Diego. This is so cool.

Ronnie (39:27)

Wait, she's never been to San Diego or she's never been to this. She must mean this train station. I've never seen this little train station either. Right. I always go to the Grand Central thing.

Ben (39:37)

Yeah, there's one in the Valley. Like if you want to get on the, get on Amtrak, you don't have to go down to Union Station. There is a place in the Valley, but it's kind of funny because it's. The one at Union Station is like Union Station is this old historic building. It's beautiful. And it's just, you walk in, you're like in an old timey station and they shoot a lot of movies there. You probably actually have seen it in one of your favorite movies maybe. But then like, then you go to like the, where they have to go which is like, like I don't know. I don't know if it's like Burbank or like bad Nice. But they're just like standing next to gravel just out there, the sun beating down on them. And they're all just sitting there on these like rusted over iron benches and only bring. I love how glamorous this is. So cool. So yeah, they're just all waiting for that train and everyone arrives and they're all just, just standing there with their bags and Michelle's like, it feels kind of strange but exciting to go back to where I grew up because I have a lot of great memories of my family living in San Diego. So it's super cool that we get to go to San Diego and people get to see a little piece of me and I'm excited for when I get them all on the pommel horse.

Ronnie (40:55)

Who's never been on a train before? Anybody?

Ben (40:58)

Well, I've been on one in Canada, but never this one.

Ronnie (41:01)

We're in Canada.

Ben (41:07)

Like, I'm sorry. What a funny distinction to make. Has anyone ever been on a train? Well, I will. I went on one of those Canadian trains, but they're not the same as American trains. Right.

Ronnie (41:20)

Is that Grisden's night nurse that she is bringing with her?

Ben (41:23)

Yeah, it's Kristen's friend but she's really good with the baby so she's gonna come. She's gonna come with this.

Ronnie (41:28)

You should have, like a drink on the train. Michelle, she like, you can drink on the drain.

Ben (41:35)

Yeah, you could do anything you want on a train. Airport rules. Yes, airports. The place known where the. The place that I famously think of as a ruleless space.

Ronnie (41:46)

When I go to an airport, I

Ben (41:48)

go, finally, no more rules at the airport.

Ronnie (41:54)

So Jesse is asking Kristen how she is. She's stressed. I mean, it's just hard to be with, like, the baby and all this stuff and making sure she's happy. And then, you know, she should have been down for a nap like 45 minutes ago. Jesus Christ.

Ben (42:08)

Everyone knows I'm anxious when I travel. And I'm kind of a hot mess express for this trip. Have a baby. So then we see some classic shots of Kristen being a mess on Vanderpump Rules. I wish they had shown her falling over in the lobby of that hotel. Or her chomping on the flower she picked from a traffic median after she

Ronnie (42:28)

fell down in the median. She fell down in the median and came back eating a flower. Yeah, they missed an opportunity here for sure. So Lacy is coming, but she's going to be driving, guys, because it doesn't make sense to go from Newport to Burbank to the train, you know, so she's willing to go from Newport to the costume shop to Newport to Burbank to the train. But, you know, this. This really fucked it up.

Ben (42:53)

I feel like she should have just gotten. Couldn't. She boarded the train from Orange county because it's going to go through there, right? Pick it up in San Juan Capistrano, get wild.

Ronnie (43:04)

Maybe that's. Maybe that's what he's saying.

Ben (43:06)

I don't know.

Ronnie (43:07)

So they all get on the train, and the conductor, I guess they're like getting some kind of influencer, whatever for this train because they really sell the train. The conductor's like, good Morning, it's train 770, southbound Pacific Surfline service in the glamorous San Diego. Welcome aboard. Look out the window at the gorgeous scenery as we choo choo past Los Angeles smoke bomb.

Ben (43:40)

Was there ever a conductor here in the first place? Hey, where'd that person go? Just Lisa doing illusions. So Tom. So Tom's like, jesse, don't fall asleep yet. Nobody's falling asleep. Sleep. Let him fall asleep. So he doesn't talk. And Zach is like, oh, my God. Like, this is what. Like I'm living for a vacation, Michelle. Like, Snuggie Michelle. And then Danny is. He tells us, he goes, yeah, trips have definitely changed before children, when me and I would go on trips, there's not much responsibility. We have the freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want. And that's just not the case when you've got kids. Also, it's a time when you can get drunk and she won't get mad. As mad as you. So I'm ready to get boozing. Okay. If I don't get to that alcohol soon enough, I'm getting real cranky. Okay, everyone.

Ronnie (44:27)

Yeah. Hey, Danny. Danny, would you hold her for a little minute for it so I can eat and then I'll take her. And he's like, well, I'm gonna go get a coffee. Well, do you want to put her in her carrier then I'm gonna go down and get a coffee. Did you hear me? Oh, hell no. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. No one asked you to have 30, 000 children. You can help your wife and take the kid with you. Why is it her responsibility to hold that thing all the time?

Ben (44:56)

You were the one who put in the request for this child, by the way. We saw. We saw you put the slot in the suggestion box and say, I'd like another baby. And she said, I don't want to have another baby. And you pushed it. You pushed for the baby and for Santa Clarita, and now you don't even want to hold the baby. Baby for one second.

Ronnie (45:13)

There was a comment saying that she was the one that wanted to have the baby and that we're forgetting our history. I think that they both wanted another baby, but she was saying, if we're going to have another baby, we need to have it now because I want my body back. I don't want to wait a couple years. Like, we're gonna have it right now if we're gonna have this baby.

Ben (45:29)

Fine.

Ronnie (45:29)

So. But still, still, you guys could have, you know, slowed down. You guys made the. You. You did this dance. This is just firm, grown up and snotting all over her all day. You can do this.

Ben (45:43)

And he is still asking for babies because he wants a brother for Asher. As if, like, you can just do that. You can just request the gender necessarily. So I guess you kind of can. But, like, I think the way they're doing it, I don't that's. They're doing it, like, old fashioned.

Ronnie (45:59)

You can't do it the cheap way. Yeah, you can't do it the cheap way for sure.

Ben (46:02)

But the point is to bring science

Ronnie (46:03)

to it, which I don't know that we believe in. So I'M just gonna say that right

Ben (46:07)

now he cares more about holding that coffee than he does about holding that baby. And like there's a million other friends on the bus or on the, on the train. You can have someone else get you your coffee. But maybe he wants to get coffee with a little thing, little spike in it, you know, off camera. But he's gives, he gives her a whole lot of attitude. And I was like this is, this is it. I'm telling you. Dark eye. Danny, be careful. Be careful of this man.

Ronnie (46:32)

That's what they called him last year, right? Dark side Danny. So Janet's like this. I think this weekend we should bunked together, me and Zach. What about a Jack and Jill bathroom situation? Zach. Cuz we're best friends now, right? We can come see each other in the morning. It's gonna be so funny because the first thing that I see when I wake up in the morning cannot be your face.

Ben (46:54)

But like how good of an idea is this? Like you want a big birthday party. It's like the same week as Jason and Danny and Schwarz. So we could do like a Zach and the Three Unwise Men party. And we. He could be like Jesus in this situation too.

Ronnie (47:05)

Too.

Ben (47:05)

And Jasmine's like oh great. Love it even more. And Zach's like do you see what she's doing right here? Do you see how she's doing this? Like oh no. I'm just planning a birthday party because they told me like the best friends always plan the birthday party. Zach. It's like stop it. Stop saying we're both friends. Okay, Baby steps, Baby steps. They're called baby steps. And you're like Olympic jumping right now.

Ronnie (47:25)

So Kristen's all pissed off and she's like oh my God, I did not know that that many people on the train are dying for attention.

Ben (47:32)

You. This is classic Kristen where she's like very mad about a social dynamic. So Janet, she's mad at somebody.

Ronnie (47:42)

You're supposed to be mad at somebody with her. And if you are not as mad as she is about the person she is going to lose her on you. It's Christian. It's classic.

Ben (47:51)

That's what she's always been, always been for over 10 years. So then Janet's asking Zach and Benji if they want to have babies. And Zach's like y', all, it's like a non negotiable for bungee look like yeah. And like it's great because he can take care of both me and the child. Like it's like two kids. It's fine. Jack goes, oh, my God. Just let me know when you need a uterus. Stop. Stop offering your uterus out. Disgusting. I didn't want to think about it. I just saw Kristen's vagina last week.

Ronnie (48:18)

Jason's like, yeah, can we. Could we not maybe offer your uterus to every gay you're trying to impress? Okay, that would be nice. Well, I'm sure. I'm just not sure if Zach's ready for me to be planning his birthday. But he's probably. Probably. Probably also not ready for me to carry his child. But a girl can dream, right? Hilarious. Janet. Funny. Janet on the scene.

Ben (48:38)

So Jesse's like, are you guys best friends now? Yeah, we're best best friends. Oh, I'm so mad at this.

Ronnie (48:45)

Oh.

Ben (48:46)

So then Jack is like, I can feel Kristen's death stare. Like, the eye of Siren is on the side. Soren. Soren, not Siren. And just, like, staring directly at me into my soul, like, oh, you shall not pass to San Diego.

Ronnie (49:01)

So Kristen and Nia are watching this. What is happening? Well, he won't look at me. I mean, look, he won't even make eye contact because he knows it's just such a different tune on the phone than. Than he was singing on the phone 24 hours ago. It's not really, though. I mean, he's telling her, stop pretending we're best friends. We're supposed to be taking baby steps. What is this supposed to do? He's trying to be polite, Kristen.

Ben (49:24)

Okay, no, seriously, 24 hours ago, he was singing a totally different tune. I believe it went something like this because, baby, you're a firework. I was like, stop it. Stop singing Katy Perry to me.

Ronnie (49:37)

24 hours ago, he was telling me how crazy she is that she could ever think that they're friends. Wow. This is really bonkers. You know what, Zach? I actually really like you. I'm so glad we're best friends now. Hey, Zach, we're talking about you. Okay, I'm gonna go back and, you know, my five minutes away from the baby is over, so I'm gonna go back over there.

Ben (50:01)

Don't say one thing, Zach, and then do another. I'm not. Your conversation with me yesterday was polar opposite of this. You're making choices on your own. You are. I told you there's consequences for all your choices and repercussions for your actions. And so Kristen's. I mean, Jan's like. It's entertaining, though, right? No, say what you mean. Mean what you say. That's all. Oh, God.

Ronnie (50:23)

So now they get to San Diego and they go to their rental and, you know, they're getting out of the car. It's typical, like parents getting out of the car. Okay, I'm going to go with the baby. And then Daniel, can you get everything? He's like, God damn it. So Jesse's like, oh, housewives, housewives, room fight. So he runs in to find Zach and Jesse run in to find their rooms. That's not really fair when people are carrying babies.

Ben (50:47)

It's not care. It's not fair at all. And I. And I feel like Jesse's getting a real pass the villain edit this season because he's really not getting a villain edit. He's just sort of getting an average edit. But, like, Jesse is a villain. People do not forget this. And so he goes in and he takes the biggest room in the house, even though this is Michelle's trip that she planned. So Michelle's like, hold on, Jesse, no, you cannot take that room. You can't take this room by yourself. No, like, ah, it's not myself. Lacey's coming. It's like. And so then Lala comes and she's. Are you kidding me? Are you okay? Like, okay, this is. No, no, this. You cannot take this room.

Ronnie (51:24)

No, no, we're taking this room. I love a bathtub. Yeah, so it's our room. He's like, no, you're not. Yes, it is. I'm taking it. He's like, well, good luck with that. And it's like, we're taking this room, Jesse. Okay, I need a bedroom that I'm accustomed to, which is like. He's like, well, I need a bedroom that I'm accustomed to. They're fighting. Meanwhile, this house is kind of a dump. Can we just be honest? It's large. It's not a cute house. They're fighting over a bathroom that was like last touched in the 80s. She's like, I need something that I am accustomed to.

Ben (51:56)

Yeah. And they're just like. They're all arguing. And basically Jesse will, like, not refuse to leave this room. But Lala's just like, no, you've got to go. You can't go. Like, I'm moving in. I'm moving in. I can't wait. It'll be so funny. It will be fun. And I'm not leaving this room. So you guys can go wherever you want want. It's like, well, Michelle and Ike. Well, I can't be here with here without with you guys. So you're just gonna have to deal with it. And basically, Lala's like, yeah, I'm gonna. He. Michelle doesn't have the stamina to deal with this, but I do, and he's not gonna win.

Ronnie (52:26)

So there's one house with Kristen, Luke, Danny and Nia. That's the baby house. Jasmine and Melissa have their own little suite, like honeymoon suite in the back. And the main house is going to be everybody else. So Jason's like, wow, this place is bigger on the inside than on the outside. It's like, huge in here. So now we see me and Danny talking behind a closed door. And she's like, please come all the way in and close the door. He's like, hey, could you put an Adelaide down for me? He's like, what do you mean, put Adelaide down? She's tired. She's ready to sleep, so could you put her down? He's like, for. He's like, God, yeah.

Ben (53:08)

He's like,

Ronnie (53:11)

he has to put down his child.

Ben (53:13)

That's his child. His. So then in the other, other house, Jesse is now, like, given up. So now he's like. He's pretending like he doesn't realize there's other rooms. He's like, oh, wait, there's another room. Okay, I can go in there. So he moves out of that room that he's being a dick about. And then they start like. Like talking about tequila and, like getting drinks ready and let's do some shots and everything. And then we go back down to Nia, and Nia is like, eating a sandwich in this. In. In her house. And Danny comes out with Adelaide and he's like, nia, Nia, I. Oh, my gosh. She's like, what? I need a swaddle. I'm like, you need a muzzle is what you need around your.

Ronnie (53:53)

No kidding. You need a spank, you need a. A switch, but this is what you need. And she's like, well, where's our suitcase? I keep getting her. I can't. I keep getting her down, but I need a swaddle. And every time I get her down, her eyes are waking up because I don't have a swaddle.

Ben (54:09)

Do you not know how to open up your briefcase or your hands broken?

Ronnie (54:13)

Like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah, go get it. And it's. It's annoying because she said when they were getting on the train, can you hold the baby while I eat something really quick? And then he refused to do it so he could go. So did she not get to eat something? Because now she's trying to shove down a sandwich.

Ben (54:29)

Yeah, I think she was Like, I don't remember if she was eating on the. On the train or not, but she definitely had her hands full on that train. And by the way, every time we see Nia, there's a baby attached to her boob. Because this is what she's doing all the time. She is like full time feeding this human. And then like, for one second, she wants to feed herself and, like, have like a little sandwich. And Daniel's like, oh, gosh, where's the swaddle? I can't even get her to go to sleep. Where's the swaddle? It's like, open your stupid bag and find it. Or ask nicely and be like, hey, sorry to interrupt. Do you know where the swaddle is? Because the baby keeps on waking up

Ronnie (55:08)

and just the whole situation because she's sitting with a sandwich and then she puts her ear pods in her airpods in to just try and have five minutes, you know, like, you have no time. She's like, okay, I'm gonna take this five minutes and really just like, try and have a moment to myself. Put some airpods and eat a sandwich.

Ben (55:23)

God damn it.

Ronnie (55:24)

We're swaddle a piece of. So he's. He tells us, I'm wondering why Nia's put me in the situation when we have a babysitter. So, you know, that's where the frustration is. You know, what's the point of bringing a babysitter here if we're not gonna let the babysitter sit the baby?

Ben (55:40)

No, that's not the point of frustration. The point of frustration is that everyone else is up in the main house doing shots and you're down here and you're not doing shots and you're jealous and you want to be part of it and you want to get drunk at all. I. That's exactly where his annoyance is coming in right now. I guarantee it. And in fact, we know it because later on he sort of says something to that effect.

Ronnie (55:59)

So she comes in with the swaddling. He's like, oh, God, you're eating a sandwich. She's like, well, I'm sorry that you're mad at me for eating food, not checking in when I've tried to put her down three times and her eyes keep popping up when I put her down. Okay, well, thank you for that. Wow, thank you. He's like, you're welcome. Oh, God, this guy is such an. Danny. Oh, what are you doing? You were such an idiot. You had the odd audience, like, supporting you last year and all this against Janet and what do you do? You just come it all away. What a dumb.

Ben (56:28)

No, he's a brat. He's a little brat. I mean, he's. Honestly, the way he is acting is not unlike the way Jax acted to Britney. Sorry, I'm not, I'm not saying it's the same degree, but I'm just. I, I should say the way he talks to, to Nia is the way that Jax would talk to Britney. And it was unacceptable then and to me it's unacceptable now. So Michelle is upstairs is like, you know what? I am like deathly afraid of birds, like since I was a little girl. What are you afraid of, Tom? It's like, oh, I'm afraid of mayonnaise. Because by the way, they're at like a petting zoo that's on this property, like looking at an alpaca or something or a llama. And she goes, shut up, mayonnaise. I am. I have a phobia of it. It just seems like something that would come out of a pimple or something. And people put on their sandwich and spread around. It's gross. And then they just do a hard cut to Kristen squirting mayo all over a sandwich, like a ton of it.

Ronnie (57:30)

She's like, I just want to lay down. Well, 9:30 is the best, like best case scenario. So like, if you're fine staying with her, she'll be happier in bed before that then. So they're just telling the nanny how to take care of the kid and stuff. And so Kristen's like, I don't want to go cuz I'm like bleeding out everywhere. After you have a baby and you have your first period, it's possible that you like, gush and I'm gushing. Okay. So it's called mommy diapers and not feeling like the hottest version of myself right now.

Ben (57:58)

So I feel bad for Kristen. She really is going through it. She's. I feel bad that she has to like go through this and know that she's like on camera and has to like sort of be on, you know, I mean, part of it is that she is sharing her journey and her experience. And I think it's actually pretty helpful for someone like me who doesn't know a lot about. About these things. But I also feel bad because I'm sure she probably just wants to like, just sort of be inside and recuperate and heal and like come back up to speed before she goes back on camera and said she's like, I'm in a baby diaper right now. Now I'm bleeding, I'm miserable, I'm unhappy, and I've got a camera in my face.

Ronnie (58:39)

Yeah, she's a God. Stupid ginormous, bloated elephant with terrible cramps.

Ben (58:46)

So.

Ronnie (58:46)

So now Britney's taking a video to send to her, and she's.

Ben (58:50)

She's like, hey, sis, I just want you to know when you were leaving says you need to be a little bit more time. So we'll just meet you there. Love you. Take time, Feel better.

Ronnie (58:59)

So they all leave.

Ben (59:01)

By the way, that video, Britney's like, little video to Kristen. It was like a cameo. Like, she clearly went into cameo mode. She was like, hi, Christine. Love to see you. I'm a big. I love that. Happy birthday. I hope you're having a great time. I'm so glad you watched the show. We will be going to the amusement park. We will see you there. And thanks again for watching. I'm like, it's just. You just. Just text your friends saying, catch you at the amusement park work.

Ronnie (59:27)

So they leave, and me and Danny wait for Kristen and Luke. And so Mia's like, well, cars out front. All right, Nia. Well, we can't put her in until Kristen's ready to walk out the door. I mean, I can't do that to her. He's like, oh, God, we'll just go and set up in there. No, because she'll start crying. Like, it has to be the last second. Danny.

Ben (59:48)

Yeah. So, like. Because they know that, like, Kristen is still so, like, emotional. She basically is trying to be a good friend to Kristen and Danny. All he wants to do is get in that car, join up with everyone else, and start drinking. And so Nia's like, I feel like there are certain times where Daniel and I just aren't really attuned as much as I'd like us to be. And, yeah, I just don't know. I. I feel off with it. So they finally get to the car, and Nia's like, do you know how cow to rodeo a cow? And he's like, oh, my gosh. It's called lasso, dude. I mean, come on, please help with the car sheet. It's like, bro, he. She's just trying to, like, have. Bring some, like, levity to this intense situation.

Ronnie (60:33)

So now they go to Belmont park, and Tom's like, wow. For me, Belmont park is the quintessential park you imagine remember going to as a child. So I'm so excited to share this with everyone. Everyone, because I don't think everyone else has been Here, Belmont Park. So Jesse's like, oh my God, look how ratchet that ride is. Tom's like, my childhood memories. Jesse's like, what is this place put together with tape? I'm not going on these rides.

Ben (61:05)

Yeah, so they are, but they decide that they're gonna go on this roller coaster. And Jesse's like, no, I'm gonna stay back and be the lone survivor. I'm not terrified of a roller coaster. I am terrified of heights. Never been able to overcome it. I don't know what it is. And I don't care if you call me a little, because I am a little. Even though my hair may look like a roller coaster, I will not go on one.

Ronnie (61:24)

Oh, poor little guy. So they want to do it again. They have the best time on the, on the Briller thing. So Kristen and Nia get to the park and Danny's like, nia, get the diaper bag. Obviously, Daniel, I hate him. Just run. Can we just have a ride where we pound Danny in the head over and over again? Again. Just get. Just give everybody whiffle bats or something and let them just start hitting him in the head because he is terrible.

Ben (61:50)

Yeah, he is. He really is awful. And I'm, I'm. I guarantee this is the true Danny. You know, on the reunion, he's like, yeah, it was just a rough day. I was really going through it and it's not my best. And we all mess up sometimes and I wasn't there for my wife and I do apologize. But you know, what can I say? I'm human and I'm work in progress. I'm doing the best I can. And sometimes you just to have an off day. He'll say that verbatim at the reunion. But I'm gonna say he is an actor and I think he's been very presentational to all of us. And I think, I think this is more of who he really is. I really do.

Ronnie (62:23)

So he's trying to. Mia's trying to, you know, be positive to like get him in a good mood. So she's like, oh my God, Daniel, I'm so excited. We're gonna go on every single ride. And he just ignores her. Did you even hear hear me? Of course I did. Well, would you do that? Right? Hell no. Imagine what your boobs would be doing in that. Probably falling out. Haha. Right?

Ben (62:46)

Wow.

Ronnie (62:47)

I'm so excited to get time away from our kids. Yeah, this is so fun. Oh, there's Zach. He's trying to say hi to us. Let's Go to. I didn't see Zach because I'm focused on being with you on a roller coaster, nothing else. And I feel like maybe you're being

Ben (63:02)

a little critical of.

Ronnie (63:03)

Of me. No, I just feel like you're being performative, Nia. Okay?

Ben (63:07)

Literally, this is how my natural demeanor is without children, because I'm always with kids. Well, we're not doing that. What you want to do. What do you. What would you. What would you like to do? She's like, I want to go on a roller coaster. Well, where's the roller coaster, bro? Just, like, look up like you normally have to do. So Nia's like. She's like, that's right there. And he's like, okay, but where's the entrance, though? I'm with you. I don't know, honey. I don't know where I'm going. I was just looking for a ride. I know, but you were, like, running, trying to be, like, a fine thing, so I'm just following you. I've never been here before, so don't put it on me. I'm like, he is being such a.

Ronnie (63:47)

He's literally the worst. And so then. So it's really awkward. And then she starts doing this thing where she's, like, trying to appease him, like, being even nicer, and it's making me crazy. She's like, oh, my love. I just want to reiterate that, you know, my demeanor when I don't have children, which you never see in me in that space. But this is just my natural demeanor. I'm not being fake or performative. Oh, God.

Ben (64:12)

But then he.

Ronnie (64:12)

So they walk away from him. Just walk away from him. Don't try to appease this little loser. It's just making me nervous. Nuts.

Ben (64:21)

And then they, like, turn a corner, and she's like. She's like, oh, wow. Should we see if the others want to join us? Looks like they're just eating. And he goes, they're not eating. They're drinking. And he says it in a way, like, see, they're having fun. They're. They're doing the. This is what I've been waiting to do. Like. Like, look. Look what we've been missing out on. They're not just sitting there eating hot dogs. They're drinking. And we've just been wandering around, not drinking. Thanks a lot. I think. Think that's, like. That's what I took from the tone of his voice and for the fact that he made that strange delineation between what they were doing. I was like, you are mad that you were not drinking. Now he will do this whole thing of like, I have a high stress job, I'm doing so much and I don't. I'm really good about drinking. Yeah, well, this is what he said every year. I, you know, I'm. I've been really good about not drinking. And so this is a vacation. It was a time for me to release and I really wanted to. And instead we're sick of around the thing. And I get that. I know the frustration of like you just want to get to the fun time on a group trip or something and you're stuck because someone's taking a long time. Or someone had to like broke their car broke down. You're sitting there twing your thumbs. You just want to be with the group. You want to be with the group. You want to be with the group. But like, ultimately he just wants to get shitfaced. And, and he's been trying, I. I feel like he's been trying to put on this whole Persona. Like, what? I'm like, fine, I'm fine. I'm like, he's. I've always felt like he was a bad drunk. Drunk and his. It's always like an excuse. Like, I'm not a bad drunk. I'm just, you know, I'd like to release once in a while. And I'm like, I don't know. I just think this guy is. I think this guy's fake and I think he's up to no good.

Ronnie (65:56)

This guy sucks for sure. So she's like, yeah, Danny, you know, I mean, I'm just happy to be with you. And I have kids on me. Don't you remember me? Before children, you know, I'm not being extra, I'm just being the OG me. Well, I can't, certainly can't wait to see Ogu tonight. She's like, oh geez. Up. So of course he's like gonna be an. And then be like, I get to you tonight, right?

Ben (66:18)

Yeah, exactly.

Ronnie (66:20)

So she's like, no, the baby's sleeping in our room. He goes, no, she ain't. And Lala's like, send us sexy times. He goes, oh, yes, there's gonna be. Yeah, you're being real charming, Danny. God.

Ben (66:32)

Well, because in his mind he thinks he just loves it all.

Ronnie (66:35)

Jesus. For what? He hasn't done one thing without bitching about it all day long.

Ben (66:40)

Oh, well, that's his thing is that like I had to do this. I had to do this. And instead of like having fun with the friends Getting drunk. I. I missed out on all of it. So, yeah, what you owe me is that you owe me sex. Because I miss out on my fun times, which is, like, so demented that he would think that. Like, why would you think you would ever deserve sex after you've been so rude and so nasty and so passive aggressive to your wife, who's been taking care of your child. Child this entire time?

Ronnie (67:04)

Sex is not a. Sex is not a right. It's a privilege, sir.

Ben (67:11)

That's right.

Ronnie (67:11)

And you are not earning it. So now Lacy arrives.

Ben (67:15)

Yay.

Ronnie (67:16)

It's about to get real fun. Danny, go on the roller coaster. And everyone plays games and checks and checks out the beach and stuff.

Ben (67:23)

When Lacy arrives, this is when I noticed something about Zach. Zach goes to hug Lacy, and I realized, oh, Zach hugs like, a toddler. Toddler. Because he goes over and he sticks, like, one hand, like, up and then one hand down and just, like, walks to you with his hands stretched out. That's how toddlers come in. Frog. He's, like, ready to hug a leg.

Ronnie (67:50)

So Lala, Tom, Michelle, and Brit are all hanging out, talking, and Michelle's like, this is my first dime. I'm on my own again since working with Jesse. We were a DE for almost 10 years, but a lot of people would not work with us because they did not like him, but they liked me, and now I do not have that problem. And I'm selling real estate without Jesse driving me down. So she's talking about how her business is going really well. She's doing well. And so they ask Tom how he's doing, and he's just so happy because I'm hanging out with someone I really enjoy spending time with again. Oh, and yesterday we were hanging out, and she was like, are you going to still be hooking up with other people? And I was like, I'm not planning on it. Because she asked you that. Because, well, maybe I said it. Okay, it's a revision. It was me. It was me.

Ben (68:37)

Just put him on the Ferris wheel, press play, and then just throw away the key. Just. Just. Can we just keep him up there going around in circles while we do the rest of the show? I just. I can't. I. I'm just so deeply uninterested in his storylines. Yeah.

Ronnie (68:51)

I mean, really, all of them. Right now, I'm like, what is this? It's just like watching people be depressed with babies

Ben (69:00)

in an amusement. In an amusement park. Which is what's so funny about it. I don't know. Weirdly, I'm enjoying it. I don't know. It's not as riveting as the past seasons, but I'm oddly enjoying this season. But I know everyone else can't stand it.

Ronnie (69:12)

It's depressing. It is a depressing, dark season, for sure.

Ben (69:15)

Oh, God.

Ronnie (69:16)

So then Michelle's like, well, what did you say? What did you say? He's like, you look so fine right now. That's not what you saying? No, I was like, listen, I love hanging out with you. And then I was like, are you still planning on dating or, like, hooking up with other people or. I don't know. And then we were both, like, coyly, like, I won't if you won't. And then I was like, what does that mean? Are we dating? Like, oh, my God. I'm, like, smoother in person, guys. But, like, it probably seems, like, like, abrupt, but, like, it's actually been like, a year and a half since I dated anyone.

Ben (69:48)

A lot of people say the same thing to me about Brandon, but I. I've known him for, like, almost 20 years, so that's like my. My giggly way of saying, shut the up. I'm not making mistakes. He's my boyfriend.

Ronnie (69:59)

So Lalo's like, why is nobody single with me except Michelle? It's, like, ridiculous. And so Lala's like, yeah, it's like, you're very open to getting married. Like, you want. Want to have kids, and you don't want to be in old dads. And so, like, the best two relationships have been, like, with girls in their mid to late twenties. So are you thinking about that once?

Ben (70:18)

And Janet's like, yeah. Has she given any indicators if she feels like she wants to be a mom or, like, Zach's best friend? And he's like, well, she was my friend before we started dating. And she's like, yeah, I want to have kids by the time I'm 30. I believe I'm. I believe in love. I really do. I'm a romantic, romantic, But I'm like, every relationship I've been in so far started similar and, like, didn't work out. And I've been surrounded by so much divorce. I'm just like, is every relationship just gonna be, like, three or four years and then five years and then just be done? And Lola goes, probably, yeah.

Ronnie (70:49)

Do not say that, Lala. I mean, I think that do sometimes. But, Michelle, I was gonna ask you, aren't you scared it happened to you? I mean, you got to the point point you were finally ready, and you opened yourself up to that coke, that coke dealer. And then

Ben (71:08)

let me see a flashback to Aaron. So Tom's like, I'm just scared. I'm a little boy who's scared to get to that point and have it, like, not work out again. But I know you can't live your life in fear. Even though that's the only way I have lived my life. Oh, my God.

Ronnie (71:23)

The only thing I'm. The only thing I'm afraid of is women I'm dating, aging.

Ben (71:31)

You're okay, Schwartz. Everyone loves you. You know what? We just want to see you happy. Oh, yeah. Janet, what do you think? Yeah, same thing. We just want to see you happy and doing all the things you want in life because you deserve the world. You deserve the world because you've done absolutely nothing, deserve to deserve anything. And you just coast on pretty privilege. So here, have something else on a silver platter. Yeah. And don't be scared. You ain't gonna end up like me. Okay. If that's what you're worried about. Because I'm a bad.

Ronnie (71:59)

And I'm taking care of my house and my son and everything by myself. I'm good. Okay.

Ben (72:06)

Anyone wants some leftover buffalo dip? I brought some. So then we go to. Now we go to, like, actually a pretty serious sort of coda for the episode. Michelle and Lala go out on the beach. It's pretty serious. It's actually almost a remarkably moving scene where they talk about losing their, like, what it's like to lose a parent because Michelle lost her mom six months prior and Lala lost her father seven years earlier. And so basically the episode ends with Michelle sharing memories of her mother and what it's like to be in this fresh stage of grief. And the show really treats it very sensitively and very beautifully and very kindly. And they really spend a lot of time kind of being pensive. Like, they show, like, a lot of images and videos of Michelle's mom in a way that we really have not seen before when cast members have gone through something like this. And I basically was, like, crying. I was like. I was literally crying. I was, like, so moved by it, and I was so sad. And I thought it was actually a really touching, beautiful scene, but for both women. And on that sunset on the beach, it was like, there was nothing funny to say about it. It just, like, I was literally moved to tears.

Ronnie (73:22)

Yeah, it was sad. And then we get a preview for next week, and it's Danny being an. So we have that to look forward to.

Ben (73:31)

Back. Back to it.

Ronnie (73:32)

Back to it.

Ben (73:33)

Back to it.

Ronnie (73:34)

All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us today. We will be back a little bit later with some southern hospital. We'll talk to you next time.

Ben (73:43)

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