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Ben
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Ben
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello, and welcome to watch what Crappens podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.
Elaine
So then the other bus goes to the stockyards, and we see this cattle drive. Start time is 11:30am but it's 11:55am so they basically walk down this old western set street, and there's cattle, you know, being walked very slowly down the street. And then they're gone. And they're like, that's it.
Ben
Yeah, yeah. They basically miss it. They just see, like, the last few. Last few cattle walk by. And then there's one cow, or a bull, whatever it is, oxen cattle walks by. And Pinky goes, oh, look at Angela back there. And everyone's like, pinky. So then now they're all like, wow, that's. That was it. That was quick. Like, we came all the way down here to watch 30 seconds of cattle. Okay, great. So now the other ladies arrive at the dressage, and they meet the horse, which is called Leo di Claprio.
Elaine
You can only ride them if you're under 25.
Ben
Yeah, exactly. So Anna. There's a lady named Anna who's the experience curator, and she's giving them all fan. They basically, like, all see, they're looking at this horse. At one point, the horse acts up. And so then, yeah, they're like, here,
Elaine
meet the horse and the horse, they all start running and screaming from the horse.
Ben
Pedro falls over.
Elaine
So they. Angela goes, we've just stolen too many ponytails off their asses. They're coming for vengeance. So now they bring the horse out and they start talking about dressage. And this lady is talking like she's talking to Kindergartener. She's like, this is how we do dressage. And they're like, yeah, we're not doing that. Like, nobody. Nobody's gonna. Nobody's gonna ride the horse. Like, no. Even Phaedra. Phaedra's like, no, I. I'm. I'm not adhesive today. My wig's not glued down.
Ben
The producer goes, so explain why you can't ride because your wig isn't glued down. She goes, girl, I wasn't fitting to say that on tv. Do that with Beverly Hills. Theirs isn't tacked down either.
Elaine
And the poor trainer is like, but you to Texas, you're supposed to be on a horse. And like, yeah, no.
Ben
What part of Portia's under boob clinging top says, this is an outfit that needs to go on a horse? She's like, I am just barely holding on. This tape can only do so much.
Elaine
Only this cast could go to an entire event set up for them and be like, yeah, no, we're not going to do that.
Ben
We're not going to. We're.
Elaine
No, sorry. Can we have lunch now? We put on cowboy outfits. That's all we're doing. We're going to eat lunch now. Okay, point us to the lunch. But their karma is to have to go eat lunch in the horse pen. So there's poop everywhere and it smells like poop.
Ben
Yeah. Which is crazy. So meanwhile, over at Stockyards. So the Stockyards, I guess, is that the name of the town? This little old western town. It's like a cute little touristy town. So they're there and they're walking around and they come across a bull. And. And Shamia is like being jokey. She goes, blink twice if you need help. And then Pinky. Pinky is like, I'm sorry. Pinky's one who goes, blink twice if you need help. Blink twice. Cuz, you know, she's a vegan. She doesn't like what's happening to the bull.
Elaine
Yeah. She's like, I'm not going to sit on that. I'm not going to sit on Gunner, cuz I'm a vegan. And the horses or the cow's like, me too.
Ben
Me too, girl.
Elaine
So the other Ladies take pictures, you know, and they're laughing just. And this, by the way, this bull hates them. I was just looking at them like, you fucking kidding me? They're now come over here for this picture. He's like, I hate you.
Ben
And there's like a little song moment where they do Blink twice. Blink twice if you need help or whatever. Blink twice. I'm vegan. And.
Elaine
Yeah, so they go eat lunch. Yeah, they go eat lunch. And it's all meat, pretty much. And she's like, well, I know that Cynthia doesn't care about me because there's no way you're bringing me to a restaurant. And the prime thing they sell on the menu is beef. Yeah. Welcome to Texas. Okay. It's hard. Enjoy your potatoes. I'm not vegan. I'm just pescatarian. But I just. I've learned to eat a lot of potatoes. Okay.
Ben
Yeah. There was nothing about this town that said vegan option. I don't. I don't think there's anything like every. Like you just see this town, this old western town with cattle and lassos and all this stuff. I was like, yeah, your salad is going to come. Like, instead of like a bread bowl, it'll just be a carved out piece of filet. Just be like a prime rib with a hole in it with salad in the center. Like, there's gonna be beef every. Everywhere.
Elaine
Yeah, but what do you mean? We fed that. We fed that cow salad. So it was vegan. You can eat it. So now she just gets fries. But she says it and like, I'm vegan. I'll just have fries. Fries. And you know what I'll say fries is like the best food group in the entire, like the. The entire catalog of foods, first of all. And you know what the second one is? Bread. Eat some bread. Bread and French fries.
Ben
Yeah, no, but. But for sure, Pinky is the sort of vegan that annoys people, that makes people not want to be vegans, because I think at this point, vegan food has actually become very, very mainstream. There's vegan options in a lot of sort of these chain restaurants or not chains, but like, you know, like the, like the, the Bennigan's and Applebee's or whatever. Or they'll, you know, it can't be made vegan. There's vegan things in this supermarket. It's like, no longer just like a fringe kind of hippie option. So, like, I also think to that extent, like, it's not crazy to have vegan to eat vegan food. And therefore, it doesn't need to be announced every single time you, like, talk to a waiter. I'm vegan, so you could just eat the eat. Eat the vegan option, and you move on with your life, you know?
Elaine
Well, not at this place, though. They don't have that, so. Yeah.
Ben
Yeah, but still, I'm vegan. I guess what I was trying to say is that, like, there was a period of time where, like, I feel like veganism was. Was a strange thing from the mainstream. And so when. So I felt like vegans were often had to announce veganism and sort of explain it and proselytize it, but now, like, there's not really a need to. I think everyone sort of knows what it's about, you know?
Elaine
Yeah.
Ben
And maybe a vegan might disagree with me, but I just don't think it's, like, a thing where you have to. You have to be like, I'm a vegan. I'm a vegan. You just. You could just eat the food. Just eat the food. Like, you would. Like, anyone else would say, like, you know, if you don't like fish, they just would avoid fish. Right.
Elaine
Well, vegan's intense, though, because there's, like, you know, is this prepared with butter? Is this prepared with. You know, so you do have to ask questions and stuff as a vegan, but, you know. You know, you're in Texas. You know, this place is going to serve me. Just order the fries and stop worrying about it. Like, it's not. No one's gonna have. I mean, you know, it doesn't need to be a whole court case about it.
Ben
Yeah. I mean, you can obviously say, is there a vegan option? Like, you can obviously ask questions, but I'm just saying, like, Pinky just sort of reminds me of the people that make it. Well, she has. She has made it. Her personality, because it's literally.
Elaine
She would say that at, like, a, you know, tender greens. She'd be like, I'm vegan. What can I have? They're like, literally almost everything here. Yeah. So see, Cynthia's like, well, I'm not saying she should have packed her own snacks, but if I was vegan, I would know if I'm going to Texas, there would be a high possibility that there was going to be a lot of meat.
Ben
So then Drew's saying how she tried to go vegan and wound up in the hospital, and because she has a blood type O, and Shamia's like, I'm O negative. Oh, my God. We've got something in common. I'm like, oh, my God. She goes, if I can give you blood if you ever need it. And I love Drew saying, like, if I needed blood from Shamia, I feel like Shamia would run to the bank and she'd be like, look, everyone, look at what I did. And, you know, she'd be on social media, it's working on the blood. And she would throw a whole blood donation parade into cater to let everyone know that she donated me blood. I was like, that's absolutely 100% correct. That is exactly what Shamia would do. Blood o'. Clock.
Elaine
I was like, what would I do? I would have to call you on my deathbed. And she's like, well, there's just one thing you gotta say, one little thing. Maybe I'm sorry. And she's like, oh, oh, is that what it would take from me? A genuine apology? She was, okay, do you want to apologize at the same time? 1, 2, 3, go. And so they stand up to do it to each other's face. And Drew's like, well, okay, I'll say sorry as long as you leave your mom and the generational thing over there. Okay? The generational gang up, you can keep that. So shimmy is like, you can't sneak in something about my mom and think, I'm not going to talk about it.
Ben
Oh, God.
Elaine
She didn't say anything about your mom. She said, have your mom stop confronting me in public. It's not the same. She didn't call your mom a name.
Ben
But I do think, though, if you are going to apologize, like, that was like a little dig right there. Right before the apology. It's like, well, you can't do that. True. If you guys are going to apologize, you apologize. And it's like an apology. But now you're erroring a grievance. Like, you're bringing up new evidence in the conclusion, and you can't do that. So, like, it's like, okay, well, this is. This is ruined for right now. And Shamir's like, I'm trying to talk with you. She's like, well, me talking to Jesus has nothing to do with me not listening to you. And Cynthia's like, okay, okay. Can you guys sit down? We're in a restaurant. You guys are obviously not apologizing, because I think Pinky was standing up at this point too. I don't know why, but Pinky stood up.
Elaine
Yeah. And Kelly's like, I don't think they're even getting close. I mean, I don't know if this is like a Bad breakup like Destiny's Child. But we, you know, who's, we know who's Beyonce and who's Latoya.
Ben
And then they show Horseshoe. Yeah. By the way, I really noticed Kelly's sippy cup work this week. Ever since you pointed it out last week, I was like, oh, it's constant.
Elaine
It's constant. It's like Mari Soul's, you know, bedazzled cup on Real Housewives of Miami.
Ben
Yeah. By the way, as long as we're mentioning Miami, still no word on Miami coming back. And also no word on Ladies of London getting renewed because Bravo announced a whole bunch of shows that were renewed today because they had their upfronts. And we also know some new shows that are going to be happening. I'm suddenly blanking on what those new shows are, which maybe, maybe that speaks to how appealing they were to me. But I do know that on Peacock, they're going to have a show about Madison lacroix. It's going to be like Salon Confessions, where people come into our salon and then like, talk about their lives, which sounds really compelling for someone. And then there's also going to be a show that's going to follow some girls in college in down in Florida starring Heather Gay's daughter Georgia. So for everyone who wanted more Heather Gay family content, that's coming your way. And yeah, I don't remember what now I'm.
Elaine
Let's talk about them on the bonus episode this week. That would be fun. Let's go over all the shows.
Ben
Well, yeah, well, we have also have a new trailer for next gen New York City, which is landing later today, so.
Elaine
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Ben
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Elaine
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Ben
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Elaine
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Ben
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Elaine
Okay, so Porsche, they have to go eat in the horse stables. Like I said, there's like a table set up and a horse has braids. And Portia's like, yes, go naked hair.
Ben
Yeah. So the horse is like, please don't take my tail. Porsche. Portia says that Go Naked hair has been around for 10 years, which is actually pretty wild. I think. A few episodes ago I was kind of shading Portia. I was like, what is Portia? I was like, portia's acting like she's such a big businesswoman, but the truth is because she was like, as a businesswoman, I was like, is that your defining feature? But it turns out Go Naked hair has been around for 10 years and has been an over a seven figure earner every year. So look, I gotta eat my words here. Like, she does have a legitimate business.
Faye
And she's like, and I see these horses hair look good and I can make some money off this herd.
Ben
Exactly what the horses love to hear. Thanks for coming. I'm letting you ride on my back and they're gonna take my My hair.
Elaine
And Angela's like, wow. We get to sit at a table set up in the middle of horse manure. Great. So there's a sommelier, and he's an Italian guy. He's like, do you like Italian?
Ben
Win.
Elaine
And Phaedra says, I like my Italian man. I'm in my dating era. You know, Chichi's fun, but I just see him when I want, and that's it. But I'm open to dating an Italian man. He can keep his wine. Just bring your wallet. I don't think the sommelier in the middle of the horseshit horse stable is rich. But, I mean, I guess, how are you going to know what fruit's on top until you climb the tree?
Ben
Well, I started dating a very handsome Italian man. His name was Leo Diclo. Phaedra, that's the horse. Never mind. So they have to. They're sitting there in the, like, having a meal in the stables. The horses heads are poking out. The horses are just watching. Like, can I have some? Can I have some? And the sommelier pours them all wine. And inevitably, as we see it's approaching this moment, he's like, the proper way. The proper way to drink the wine is you have to. First you put your nose and you take a sniff of the wines. They all are sniffing in the wine. But of course, you're just all smelling manure. And they're like, although I am like Elaine Bennis on Seinfeld, and I really enjoy the smell of manure. Call me crazy. Remember that Seinfeld episode where Lane goes, I love manure. Oh, weird. I enjoy manure smell. I don't enjoy manure itself.
Elaine
O. I always know when I. When my parents still lived in El Paso where I grew up, you know, like, driving from LA to El Paso, you know, right when you're about to hit El Paso. Because the cow, you smell the manure. It's like, oh, welcome home. The cow.
Ben
I mean, I don't. I don't, like, love it. Like, I don't seek it out, but if I smell it, I'm not grossed out. I'm like, oh, it's farm smell. But I don't know. I don't think I want to smell it while I drink my wine. That's for sure.
Elaine
Yeah, there's a place. There's a place for your manure kink, Ben. Okay, it's not here, so. Okay. Michelle's like, it's like having dinner in the bathroom. So now he pours wine and teaches them to say salute. And Porsche's like, salude.
Faye
What?
Elaine
And so now they're just laughing and having a good time. And K. Michelle's like, this is the Porsche I've loved for years. I mean, even that little sneaky snake Phaedra. I mean, I'm kind of getting her Southern charm now. Today made me think maybe there is something in each one of these ladies that I could build a friendship from.
Ben
I still don't really understand the Phaedra thing. Like, the Porsche, I think I can understand it hit a sensitivity. But she really was like, I'm. She's like, I'm never gonna trust her again after that. I was like, well, that's. That's a bit intense, you know? So then, yeah. So she's like, no, maybe they are all. They are all okay, people. So now back at the other place at the restaurant, Kelly is asking about what happened last night. And Cynthia is, yeah, Pinky, you and Angela. I walked away for two seconds and came back and you guys were in a full on battle. And Pinky's like, well, she said that I seem bothered. And she's like, Cynthia's like, but you were bothered. It's like, well, I mean, did I need to come like that? Maybe not like, she's beneath my tax bracket. Like, I shouldn't even be arguing like that. Ma', am, you just wrote a song about bankruptcy.
Elaine
You are bankrupt. What are you talking about? So they're like, that's not nice. And Kelly says, well, I get it. I mean, big. And Angela is below her tax bracket, which is. Which she very could well be. You know, I don't know what it is that Angela even does. So Pinky's like, I mean, she even talked about you. And Kelly says, wait, how did I get in it? She's like, yeah, she said that. You said freaking frack is whack. And Kelly's like, well, I did say that. And I'll save it to freaking frack, too, because the energy with Porsche is, you can't expect for me to allow you just to sit there and tell lies and play with me.
Ben
So Pinky is like, well, I told her what you said seemed hurtful. And she was like, well, it was true. And Kelly says, and, well, I mean,
Faye
the things that I said about her are true. So. So she said it to hurt feelings, right? So I guess, you know, I think
Ben
at the end of the day, he
Elaine
got nothing for nothing.
Ben
And her people try to hurt people, and that's something that she just has to deal with.
Elaine
So Kelly's like, well, at this point, I'm really sick of horsesh.
Ben
Yeah, you already. You already did it. You already said it. You already made the joke 20 times. You said horsesha.
Elaine
So Cynthia's like, well, Pinky, last night, you made a couple of us very uncomfortable. And she's like, what? And she goes, yeah. And she's like, well. But Andrew says, well, your intention was good, right, Cynthia? And she's like, there's no intention. And there's intention and there's delivery, and Shimmy is looking confused. And Pinky says, well, when I was talking to Cynthia, they said my tone was a little aggressive. And Cynthia said, well, it was Kurt. It was Kurt. And I received what you were saying. But I do feel like there's a reason it ended up going left, you know, first of all, you didn't have the backstory. She goes, no, no, I did have the backstory because Shamia showed me the picture. I saw the picture.
Ben
And Cynthia. Cynthia's, well, you didn't have my backstory. She said, well, they asked me how it was going in the room, and so I communicated what was happening. Yes, because. Yes, but again, the puzzle doesn't have just one piece. And Pinky's like, you're right. You're right. But are those pieces vegan? It's like, well, it just takes a lot to put it all together. She's. But. But Shamir called you. She goes, and we had a talk, and we left, and we had done a bunch of the bunch of things by the time we got to you. Respectfully. She's kind of like, you don't know what you're talking about. And you came in hot about something. You have no idea what happened.
Elaine
Yeah, Pinky's like, we did, but let's be clear. And she's like, oh, I'm clear. She goes, that was my first time having a conversation with you guys after I had a conversation with them, so you can imagine they're coming to me. She goes, yeah, you came in hot. She goes, well, okay, the table was messy, but I've moved on. It's a new day. And she goes, okay, so can we open up the floor to questions before you close it out? Because you start a conversation and then you run the conversation. And she's like. And Drew's like, yeah. And she goes, nobody asked you, Sallie Mae. So I was like, I don't need to hear it from you, Sallie Mae. So you're calling another person poor. You've got to stop doing that when you're broke and bankrupt. Okay.
Ben
Yeah.
Elaine
Crying on camera about it like you. That's not. It doesn't have as much power as you think it does, ma'.
Ben
Am. I know. Also, by the way, I love that Cynthia said this thing about, like, can we open up the. Open up the floor for questions before you close this out? Because I love that Cynthia comes to Pinky with a grievance, which was, look, I felt like your energy was off. I didn't. I think you came in a little hot yesterday. And Pinky goes, okay, well, I'm. I feel better about it today, so I'm moving on. It's like, no, no, no, you're not. You don't. The person with the grievance is the one who gets to say that they're moving on and that they feel. They feel okay with the resolution. You being the party that is in question, don't get to just announce, well, I'm moving on. So thank you for bringing this to my attention. Not how it works.
Elaine
So Drew's like, yeah, that was a little aggressive. And Pinky's like, it is disrespectful to call someone aggressive, especially with all black women have to go through. And if you feel my aggressiveness is taking up space in your little world, then I'll be aggressive, you know? But what you will not do is disrespect me, because I'm powerful and I'm strong, and I stand in my truth.
Ben
Yeah, but I think you stand in your truth. But I think what Cynthia is trying to say is that you were not standing in the truth, which is that there was a larger context. The con, the conversation, and the situation that you just came in hot about.
Elaine
And it's not your business. This is not even your truth. It's not your room, so.
Ben
And if it were your business, it would be bankrupt. Yes.
Elaine
Yeah. Pay your employees. So Cynthia's like, you're gonna get the energy you put out now. She's like, but listen, it is what it is. Kelly's like, well, maybe we should just get our food to go.
Ben
I guess I'll get my fries to go. In a vegan box, please, because that's what I'm in. So now, in the other car, come back from the horse farm, Kay says she's gonna find, basically, Portia's song. She can find a song for Portia to sing. And then they see. We just see clips of Portia singing flatline from 2014, and she's, like, got
Faye
in the trap for three weeks.
Ben
So in the main house.
Elaine
The main house. And Cynthia's lying on her bed sleeping, and Drew comes in, and she's like, oh, I was just had too much tequila at lunch. And so they sit on the bed and talk. And Cynthia's like, you know, I was just stressed about the Shimmy and Kelly thing. And she's like, oh, but their rooms are clean now, right? And then we cut to the pool house, and they're, like, dancing all over. Over each other. They're like, yes, our room's clean. Yes.
Ben
Yeah, exactly. And so Cynthia is like, but what's the real issue? Because I feel like it's bigger than the room. I mean, a lot of things are bigger than the room, to be fair. But I think this issue is bigger than the room, too. And I feel like whatever's going on, I don't think it's just about the room. So Cynthia has. Has a feeling that maybe this is what Shamia is really upset about, and probably Kelly, too, is that they're not part of the main house. And especially given that Shamia and Portia are sort of in a weird place. You know, I think that she says that she feels that Shamia may feel a little dejected, you know, and she's saying Shamia still feels, like, a little attached. Well, she was. And now she's feeling detached.
Elaine
Yeah. She's like, so what's. It's something deeper. I'm sure Andrew goes, yeah. And she covers it with twerking. You know, she covers it with jokes. She's like, yeah. I mean, what is that? What is that little dance that she does? And then Shamia starts. I mean, Drew starts imitating Shamia's dance, and then they put a split screen up, and then they both start yelling at the same time.
Faye
Shut o'.
Ben
Clock. And then we see a lengthy montage that shows just how many times Shamia has done this little dance over and over and over again. But, you know, Shamia probably watched that back last night and was like, so good. So funny. I'm so glad my dance is finally getting recognition.
Elaine
Yeah. She's like, it's my greatest hits. So then we go back to the car with the other girls, and Portia's like, yeah, Cynthia was really hurt. Number one. They didn't like a room and it was dirty or whatever it was. And, you know, Kelly and Shimmy, I know Cynthia. They didn't just meet her. This is not somebody who just planned a trip in case, like, yeah, well, I've only gotten good person from Shamia, okay? She's beautiful. She's a chocolate Woman. And I love sleeping with chocolate women. They're amazing. So maybe I just wouldn't see it.
Ben
I'm like, what are you talking about? Just.
Faye
Oh, I. I do think that chocolate women are beautiful. That's the type of women I like sleeping with because I'm gay. On holidays, when all the women, like, walk to me, walk up to me at my show, and they'll be like, holidays coming up. So holiday.
Ben
That's my pass. Okay?
Elaine
So then Kelly goes to the tiny house to see Pinky, and she's like, I'm just here to make sure there's no wives in the basement. And then back to Cynthia and Drew. Drew's like, well, how do you feel about Pinky? And she's like, you know what? I hate to say this, but Pinky's kind of hard for me because her energy, you know, she's the energy police. And, you know, it just turns the energy. She goes, yeah, that's like Baltimore energy.
Ben
Yeah, that's like, energy of people who know how to hammer the shell off of a crab. And I don't want that energy around me.
Faye
That's the energy of people who have
Ben
a really good aquarium.
Elaine
Oh. She's like, yeah, it's too much. I mean, for these conversations to go that way. I mean, it's going to be an energy drainer. And she's like, I can't do it. I can't do it. So now Pinky is talking to Kelly in the tiny house, and she's like, you know, I'm very mindful of my energy because, you know, I'm around energy, you know, and I'm rich, you know, and like, to be around all these women who just aren't as rich as me, you know, I'm usually around my husband, and I just don't have patience for bullshit. I don't like when people are like, I'm not a girl's girl. I really only get along with guys. Then go be on a guy show, because we don't have time for that here.
Ben
Who's a girl show. But the thing is, she's saying she's a girl she doesn't have patience for. But, like, what is the. That she's been having to. To wade through? She's the one who's been offering up so much of the. So then Drew and Cynthia are still talking, and Drew's saying how Pinky inserts herself into everyone's drama and. Please, uninsert, ma', am, please. Uninsert. Uninsert. Uninsert. So back in the Tiny house. Pinky is saying, like. I'm like, damn. Like, is this. Is this the energy you all have? Every single day? Everyone's talking about energy this episode. Everyone's very concerned about the energy that's going around. So Kelly is like, well, you know, you gotta think about it when you're in a group of women that really don't have a lot of things going on. Oh, okay.
Elaine
Kelly.
Ben
Kelly's failing waffles are the thing. God, I sound like Donald Trump there. I apologize. Failing waffles. Kelly. Kelly on a failing waffles, she's like,
Elaine
yeah, I don't do anything. But, you know, me and you were business women, so we're like a different kind of woman. So, yeah, we get each other, but those ladies, like, they just don't know enough to, like. They're not, like, smart enough to, like, get us. You're both. Your businesses are both failing. What are you talking about?
Faye
Stop.
Elaine
Just stop. Oh, my God.
Ben
I get. I. I get it. Like, they are dealing with, like, probably a level of litigation that no one else is dealing with at the moment, except maybe Angela. And, I mean, I don't know. It seems like everyone's going bankrupt on this show, so they're dealing with that. It's annoying. For sure. There's a lot of stuff on their plate, and unfortunately for Pinky, that stuff was only fries. But at the same time, like, you don't get, like, a red badge of courage for this in this.
Elaine
But that's not what they're saying. They're saying, like, we're businesswom, and they're. They're just women who need to. Who do you make something out of? Nothing. Like, they don't really have anything going on. Like us. We're smart business women. Yeah, but you two are the ones making everything. Every little petty thing, a huge thing. Like, Pinky's making room accommodations this thing. Kelly, you're making the room accommodations this thing. Then you're coming at, like, you're saying Porsche or horseshoe every two seconds. Like, you're just. You're being just as petty. You guys are ridiculous.
Ben
Well, it almost.
Elaine
We're business women, so no one can understand us.
Ben
I also feel like normally, if I were. If. If I were to hear sort of the argument of, like, listen, I have, like, businesses that I'm running. I'm out there in the real world dealing with employees, lawyers, all sorts of things. Customers, clients, etc. I. I deal with real deal things. I normally. The. What comes next is I don't have time to deal with the petty of. Of like, the duvet is not clean. But in this case, Kelly is like, I. I am in the real world. I'm dealing with all this shit, which is why a dirty duvet really bothers me the most. Like, it's. It should be that, like, you. You know what real concerns are, and this is not a real concern.
Elaine
And Kelly is like, well, I'm self made, right? So our resilience, I mean, it hits a little bit different than others. And he's like, yeah, I'm self made too. Well, you're not self saved, that's for sure. And she's like, and it hits a little different. And I built my business from my back. And Angela has to lay on her back.
Ben
Okay, that's.
Elaine
You're laying on your back to get the money from your husband to pay off your. Your bankruptcy. Like, that's. So that's the thing. Say to somebody else, like, why? Why, like, why are you being so misogynistic to the other people when you are living off your husband in the same way by taking $5 million to pay off your bankruptcy?
Ben
Yeah, and by the way, I fully support that too, because you're in a union and, like, you would. Like, that's what people do for each other. But, like, why are you sure?
Elaine
Yeah, I'm not even not supporting it. I'm just saying.
Ben
Yeah.
Elaine
So hypocritical to shame other people like these women are.
Ben
And not only are you taking money from your husband, it's steak money, it's meat money.
Elaine
You are taking. You are taking dead animal money to save your vegan business. So whatever, lady hypocrite.
Ben
Yeah, so back up with Drew and Cynthia. They're just. They're determined to have a really good dinner tonight, and they're gonna go to a really nice place in Dallas and it's gonna be a reset. So now it's time to go out for dinner, and everyone's getting on this bus, and various members of the group need a hoist, which is really funny.
Elaine
Can't get up in their tight outfits.
Ben
Yeah.
Elaine
So Jimmy is like, okay, everybody, I've got a public service announcement. Baby, our shit is the bomb. You hear me? And we lit. We're in there now. We laid our bed. You know, we laid in our beds and everything. Wow.
Ben
She's like, guys, the room is clean. I'm like, okay, you're trying to turn it around because you've probably gotten feedback that you guys are acting like downers and it's too late. So Cynthia's like oh God, praise the Lord
Elaine
while they were in there commercials.
Faye
Here comes one right now.
Ben
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Elaine
ButcherBox delivers over 100 premium protein options straight to your door. From grass fed beef to wild caught
Ben
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Elaine
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Ben
I have several chicken breasts in my fridge thawing as we speak from Butcherbox because I am planning to do one of my favorite dishes of all time, which is a Greek garlic and oregano grilled chicken. And so my grill get better. Get ready for the good times that are about to happen.
Elaine
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Ben
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Elaine
That's butcherbox.com crappins don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you.
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Ben
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Elaine
So now they're on the road and they're asking each other about their days. And Shamia goes, we didn't heard the cattle. We just heard the cattle. Like we heard it heard Heard the cattle.
Ben
Heard. Heard. Like John heard the actor. But, like, the ver. The verb heard. Heard. Like, okay, so Drew goes, yeah, we watched them. It was like a cattle parade. It was like 20 of them walking right past us. And we were like, oh, there they go. There, There they go. Cynthia goes, well, I heard that you dressage people had a blast. Like, yeah, it was great. And then they're just basically comparing stories. And K. Michelle tells them how they had to. They ate in stables. And she's like, I mean, we're gonna
Faye
eat in the tables with horses now. That had me in tears. I have not laughed that hard in
Ben
to the point of the tears. Although I will say this. That horse looked at me in a strange way, and I did not appreciate that whatsoever. I'm not ever going to look at a horse again. I don't like horses now.
Elaine
Okay, well, let's play a game. Each person tell us something that they've learned about each person that they didn't know before the trip. And Kay's like, well, I didn't know that Pedro is actually nice. And they start cracking up. And she's like, well, I guess I'm glad you got a chance to ride with me. And so she's like, yeah, this be my first girls trip. The most shocking thing, walking through that airport, white ladies coming up going, oh, my God, it's Phaedra. I'm like, phaedra. I mean, if I didn't learn nothing else, I know that Phaedra Parks is a household white lady name.
Ben
She's like, why people know about Phaedra. So Angela is saying. She's saying, well, I will say I know that Portia is the key. Like, she is a time and a half. But, you know when your wig is slipping, you know, you try to. You're like, holding on, and Porsche is just, like, ripping it off. Just snatch it off when you're getting out of the car, you know, Porsche,
Faye
she's like, yeah, because we gotta.
Ben
We got.
Faye
We got a Sleepy Claws where we were riding so long. Once I use my wig as a
Ben
pillow, they're basically just like, cracking up in the back of the van. They're just telling stories. And then Shamia, they're all having fun, laughing. And then Shamia does the thing where she's like, guys, let's be serious. I didn't know K. Michelle last night at the pool, when we were talking, I didn't realize how much you'd gone through and why you had such resistance and hesitation when it came to being part of girl groups, which, by the way, girl groups is code for reality shows.
Elaine
Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm dealing with those girl groups in Atlanta. I mean, that's why I'm so rebellious. They tried to make Atlanta be hell for me. They were awful. And I just kept fighting for my career. I just kept fighting.
Ben
Well, hearing you talk about it just made me. It opened my eyes. So. It's just so many things. So. I'm so happy that you were so open and vulnerable. Can she, like, not bring the mood down? Like, yeah.
Elaine
It's like, that's all she can do. Shimmy. She's a mood killer.
Ben
She had a bad time on VH1, I think.
Elaine
It's so funny that we've heard so many trauma. We've had, like, every trauma storyline on these shows, you know, and it goes from silly to, like, really, really deep and dark. But this is the first trauma storyline that we've had was like, I've been on love and hip hop.
Ben
Oh, so hard. So hard.
Elaine
Like, oh, my God, you poor thing. Welcome to Atlanta. Welcome to Real Housewives of Atlanta, baby. You'll be okay here.
Ben
So then Kelly says, by the way, girls, I just. I really appreciate you ladies. Your comments and your support at my opening. That meant everything to me. It really did. And then Angela, who was at the opening, goes. Who all was there? Portia's like, oh, God.
Elaine
Just starts making faces because she knows what's coming. And so Kelly's like, okay, Angela. So who all was there? You know? I mean, clearly, you know who was there, and you know who wasn't there as well. And Portia's like, did you enjoy the event? Angela says, I had an amazing time. The food was good, and the flowers you sent were beautiful.
Faye
Well, Kelly told me that she didn't want broken flowers from a broken person.
Ben
I did. I just, like, you know, I just thought, like, in our group support. I think group support is just, like, more appreciated than a flower, you know?
Faye
She was like, okay, girl, my present was not necessary. Celebrate yourself. And the hot dogs. And what does she serve? Waffles. Waffles.
Ad Host
I.
Faye
You know, I would not know.
Ben
I'm like, well, by the way, Portia, just so you know, I fully agree, you should not have gone. But, like, be careful when you start talking about hot dogs, because we've seen
Elaine
you working in a hot dog shop.
Ben
Don't forget, we spent a lot of time in the world of hot dogs because of you.
Elaine
Yeah. So she's like, you know, you. You just, like, you said you don't mind me saying what I said in front of K, which is one person. I mean, you could have told me that you felt that way about me sleeping with a married man prior to doing it in an interview. And that's why I said to you what I said in front of K. Period. And she's like, oh, so basically you wanted to reflect about how you felt about yourself in front of K. And she's like, no, you lied on me. Me? She goes, I didn't lie. You didn't say that you wanted to sleep with Charles? Have you never slept with a married man? She's like, no. It's like, so you didn't sleep with R. Kelly? You didn't sleep with R. Kelly?
Faye
Portia goes, he wasn't married at the time.
Ben
It's like, yeah, R. Kelly was. Damn sure was marriage.
Faye
Like, no, he was not. He was not.
Ben
Just like, he was married. He was married.
Elaine
I'm like, he was married to six people. How dare.
Ben
Can we move on from R. Kelly? This is not going to go anywhere good. So Pinky goes, wait a minute. Portia slept with R. Kelly. Like, I believe I can fly. R. Kelly. The bump and grind. R. Kelly, same girl. R. Kelly. I'm like, and a few other things. R. Kelly, by the way, there's a Lifetime documentary support is like, there's a
Elaine
lot Kelly out there.
Ben
There's a lot of other accolades that he has. Kelly.
Faye
Portia says, Kelly, this has read the Pursuit of Portia. I mean, she actually read my book to come out. You know, she wrote. She actually read my book to come
Ad Host 2
try to read me for my book.
Faye
So I really don't give a flying what Kelly's talking about, but thank you for the sale.
Elaine
And Portia's like, well, the truth dropped in my lap, so I brought it to you. She's, oh, really? What truth? Portia say that you slept at the Married man on BET weekend. Just like, where.
Faye
Where is he? Where is he, Portia, where is he?
Elaine
Okay, so now we have to actually produce witnesses.
Ben
And Kelly's, you know, Kelly's like, where is he?
Faye
And Portia's like, after you want to fly with him, he went to your room. And, like, by the way, her drawers came off after the flight.
Ben
She goes, yes, my drawers did come off after the flight. You're absolutely right. I went upstairs to my room, and then I met Shamia for dinner, and I. I dropped my drawers in between because I changed clothes for dinner. You have to follow along if it was. It was a good joke. If you think. If you think about it, paint some picture.
Elaine
I was like, yeah, you. You were with a married man. She's like, I'm confused. So Portia says, this married man texted his friend who was standing next to who I was standing next to. And the guy was literally like, I'm here in the room, and just got out of the bed. Kelly. And thank God the producer asked this, because I was like, what? And the producer says, what kind of man would text after they. Kelly. And she's like, well, the way he
Faye
handled it was like a boy.
Elaine
But, Kelly, you know, the way you handled it was like a slut.
Ben
So, okay, so then Portia's saying, yeah,
Faye
you tried to come a couple days after we talked. She's like, well, who's the guy?
Ad Host 2
You did.
Faye
You did this. You did this. Because she wanted to find out. How does Portia know about the situation? And yes, you did laugh. You can laugh all you want, because you definitely tried to call him.
Ben
And Kelly's just trying to laugh off.
Faye
She's like, are you in a to be movie or something? No offense, Drew, but are you a to be movie? Like, what are you even doing, Portia?
Elaine
Oh, my gosh. So silly. And Pinky's like, it's giving more lifetime than to be. Okay, I've just got to get myself herself in this argument somehow. Andrew's like, it's giving plot twists. Can I produce it? And so Kelly por. Is like, can I. Should I spell it out? And so they're saying, well, who is he? Who is he? And Phaedra's like, no, no, no, let's not do that. And Angela goes, oh, you know who it is. Well, who is he, Phaedra?
Ben
Tell us. And Pedra's like, ixnay on the. The. The. The aim. Nay. Because she's like, for her, Phaedra knows who this. This guy is. And she's like, if you reveal this, you're not gonna really. The person who's gonna bear the brunt of this the most, the one who's gonna be hurt the most is gonna be the wife. And so she's like, don't say anything. Which, actually, Phaedra's response actually kind of makes me think that maybe Portia is not lying here. Because, I mean, I don't know if Portia's lying or not, but it, like, moves the needle more towards, oh, maybe this did happen. Because Phaedra is really like, don't say anything. Don't say anything. I don't know. I know the family. I know the wife. I don't want to mess this up. Like, don't say anything.
Elaine
Yeah. I don't want to up their family. So let's keep it a secret that the husband's cheating on the wife and then bragging about it via text.
Ben
No, let's have a. Yeah, let's just make sure the wife just keeps on living with blinders on.
Elaine
Yeah, it does. It doesn't hurt if you don't know about it. So Kelly's like, you know, don't worry about me. Worry about the motherfucking liens on your house. Worry about collecting the money. What do you. Who are you? This is. I mean, you are throwing IOUs in a bank. Yeah, like, what are you doing?
Ben
Yeah, I mean, I just don't understand Kelly and. Kelly and Pinky are really going hard on this and so really hard for the.
Elaine
I mean, it's just silly. So Kelly's like, yeah, worry about the liens. And she's like, I knew you were going to say that. She goes, yeah, worry about collecting your coins, Portia. She's like, yeah, I knew you were
Faye
going to say that.
Elaine
Why don't you worry about the house you lost and the businesses you're trying to build? It's already gone. Your business is already gone.
Faye
Listen, I didn't marry a man for a house. You married for funds. We will never be the same. She's. Oh, yeah, Ms. Non Prenup. She's like, okay, well, I know you got that prenup because it was like, guess what? It wasn't love. And Porsche's like, yeah, well, you should be able to read a legal document
Ben
better than that, which I don't think there's any expectation that Kelly could read much of a legal document.
Faye
So Kelly's like, well, let me tell you about a. Like, me.
Ad Host 2
You.
Faye
You. Every. You've sucked. You sucked and scissored everything in Atlanta.
Elaine
She goes, what are you trying.
Faye
You tried to scissor me.
Elaine
Are you insane? And she goes, what? Who tried to scissor you? Get that. Get that hot chili cheese Frito. I don't want to scissor you. Hot chili cheese Frito.
Ben
Chili cheese. What can I name after that?
Elaine
And you know, Kelly, you can't even diss someone well, because while that. That's the visual of that is disgusting, it also sounds delicious. So, like, who are you trying to diss here?
Ben
Yeah, and sometimes it feels like Kelly has these pre Made insults that she's like, next time she comes after me, I'm gonna call her this. So she Just like. I don't know. We'll see where this goes. It's to be continued. Will they resolve this fight? I don't know. We don't know. But I'll tell you one thing. I was laughing the whole time.
Elaine
Yeah, that was fun. Fun times. All right, everybody, thank you so much for being here. We'll be back a little bit later today with the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Talk to you later.
Ben
Bye. Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Elaine
Our way is the Amber way.
Ben
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic without Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
Elaine
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, She's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
Ben
Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Trickolus. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no lady.
Elaine
Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.
Ben
She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.
Elaine
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be Will. Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Leno. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burger.
Ben
This is living with Michelle. Vivian.
Elaine
I love y'.
Ben
All.
Elaine
Olivia Williamson.
Ben
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Elaine
Yes, we canna. It's Savannah.
Ben
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Elaine
Darn skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get
Ben
us 10 cc's of Betsy MD we're
Elaine
taking the gold with With Brenda Silva.
Ben
Let's get real with Caitlin o'.
Faye
Neal.
Elaine
Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogel. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Ben
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.
Elaine
Have a kebab with K. Rob.
Ben
My favorite murdo Karen McMurd. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi, always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlas Rogers, the incredible edible Matthew sisters.
Elaine
She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Charouse. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rob Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.
Ben
She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
Elaine
We cannot tell a lie.
Ben
It's Sarah Tellifson Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
Elaine
Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.
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Ben
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Faye
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Ben
Wait, we're going on tour?
Faye
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Elaine
Not with that attitude.
Faye
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Elaine
Com.
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: May 11, 2026
This episode is Part Two of Ben and Ronnie’s recap of The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 17, Episode 6. The discussion picks up as the ladies continue their Texas trip, splitting into two groups: one for a slightly underwhelming cattle parade, the other for a horse dressage event gone hilariously awry. Chaos, shade, and messiness ensue as the cast navigates vegan options in beef country, unresolved beef between castmates, and the ongoing war of words about tax brackets and room accommodations. The crappens boys revel in the ridiculousness with their signature loving mockery.
[01:42–04:35]
[04:35–08:47]
[09:24–11:22]
[12:00–13:05]
[15:18–16:16]
[16:16–18:17]
[19:39–23:46]
[24:43–32:42]
[35:30–38:13]
[39:01–46:21]
Ben, [02:01]:
“We came all the way down here to watch 30 seconds of cattle. Okay, great.”
Phaedra (via Ben), [03:39]:
“Girl, I wasn’t fitting to say that on tv. Do that with Beverly Hills. Theirs isn’t tacked down either.”
Elaine, [19:39]:
“Ma'am, you just wrote a song about bankruptcy. You are bankrupt. What are you talking about?”
Ben, [22:48]:
“You don’t—the person with the grievance is the one who gets to say that they're moving on and that they feel okay with the resolution. You being the party that is in question, don't get to just announce, 'Well, I'm moving on.'”
Elaine, [32:13]:
“You are taking dead animal money to save your vegan business. So whatever, lady hypocrite.”
Portia, [41:05]:
“Kelly, just read the Pursuit of Portia. I mean, she actually read my book to come out. You know, she wrote. She actually read my book to come try to read me for my book.”
Elaine, [45:34]:
“Get that hot chili cheese Frito. I don’t want to scissor you. Hot chili cheese Frito.”
In signature Crappens style, Ben and Ronnie (with frequent contributions from “Elaine,” likely a co-host or guest) offer whip-smart, hilarious commentary, puncturing the Housewives’ egos and calling out hypocrisy (“You are taking dead animal money to save your vegan business... lady hypocrite!”). No petty fight is safe from parody, but the hosts also slip in appreciation when due. Their pop culture asides, Bravo gossip, and deep knowledge of the franchise enrich the episode, making it a rollicking listen for Bravo diehards and newcomers alike.
For fans who missed the episode, this recap delivers every cow, tacked-down wig, and chili cheese Frito insult with full Crappens flavor. The mess is epic—and so is the comedy.