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Ronnie
Who cares what happens when there's so much what happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?
Ben
Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Old Bruvs. I. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Banoons.
Ronnie
Hi, Ronnie.
Ben
Sup? What's up, everybody? Welcome to the show. Today it's Real Housewives of Rhode Island Day. We will be doing our cabaret show Forbidden Housewives in New York City on June 3rd and June 5th. We've sold those shows out, but we will be doing live streaming for those shows, all three shows. We'll have a live stream. You can get tickets for those at. Watch what crappens.com. it's going to be a big party. There's a. A big chat room in there where you guys can go and talk to each other and have good times. So join us for that June 3rd and the 5th. Also, if you want videos or bonus episodes or our free newsletter or Discord server, any of that goods or ad free listening. That's. That's a big one. Go over to patreon.com watch what crappens. And today it's Rhode island season one episode, Boats, Lies, and videotape.
Ronnie
Yeah. So there was the Bravo up front happened this morning. And first of all, this show has already been renewed for second season. It's also Bravo's number two show behind Beverly Hills. They said it's the second biggest show. Wow. Can you believe it?
Ben
Wow. Good for them. You go, ladies.
Ronnie
Way to go. Way to go. So that means that millions of people are learning about this mansion in Newport. So we're on day two at Sea View Terrace.
Guest or Additional Commentator
The Sea View Terrace, mansion, castle, wherever.
Ronnie
And we're in Alicia's. Alicia's room. Sorry. And she's looking at her dolls and she's like, hey, doll.
Guest or Additional Commentator
You give me a look like you're upset, but you actually picked your room. But you're like literally giving me a face like you're pissed.
Ronnie
And then you just see the. The doll is just like, I'm a doll. I wasn't talking about anything. I was just sitting here because I can't talk. I don't know how to talk. And, Ronnie, I'm going to bring you back on the screen because you're off. You're off the stage at the moment. Here you are, Ronnie. Thank you.
Ben
The doll's like, I've been a doll for 100 years. Okay?
Ronnie
That's.
Ben
That's why I'm pissed.
Ronnie
My issue is about the man who left me at the altar and cursed me into becoming a doll. Not with this room. To be frank.
Guest or Additional Commentator
If I'm going to say anything, it's about getting revenge for that man.
Ben
So Ashley FaceTimes Jared, the other pissed off looking doll, and she's like, what am I gonna see this Saturday? He's like, I scheduled a work event Saturday. She's like, jared, I told you, that's the day of the Jonas freaking concert.
Ronnie
Good. Please make this lady a one and done. Thank you so much.
Ben
I like her. I like Ashley. I think Ashley's so cute. Like, Ashley is upset that she doesn't get to go with her husband to the Jonas Brothers.
Ronnie
I mean, come on, actually, I mean, like, she seems so nice. She seems like, like a truly nice person. And she is funny on this show. Is this, like, young and who keeps on crying. But quite frankly, I just. I just. I don't think she is. She hasn't baked in the oven long enough to be a real housewife. That's what I feel like. I think she's just.
Ben
She's in the oven right now, you know, so just leave her in there a little longer. She's like.
Ronnie
She's like the bread at Subway and I'm looking for. I'm looking for the bread at Panera maybe. I don't know. I don't know what the good comparison is, but, you know, like, the Subway bread is just kind of, like, spongy and it's. It's okay and it supports the meats, but, like, it's not gonna be the bread I go for. It's not what I'm reaching for on a daily basis.
Ben
So now we go to Joellen's room. She's FaceTiming Gary. And Kelsey comes in. She's gossiping with Gary about Kelsey's fight with Rosie. And then we go to Rosie's room, and she's talking to Rich and she's like, oh, my God, I was puking last night. Like, Kelsey was saying, I didn't quit my job. I got fired. And then, like, the square footage of our house edition is fake. And he's like, oh, she's obviously projecting on you because she doesn't have property or a real job. So.
Ronnie
Yeah. And then now women are arriving. Pajamas. And they're sitting at the table, and Rosie's like, I'm a little shaky, guys.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Like, yeah, well, you were throwing up all night, right? Yeah. Did you guys hear? My dolls were complaining they couldn't even Fall asleep because you were barfing so much in the bathroom. Huh? You bought on a ghost. I heard.
Ronnie
Yeah, I was more scared.
Ben
You were. Go ahead. Sorry, I thought you were done.
Guest or Additional Commentator
No, I, I, I, I almost read Ashley's line, as if I was Alicia. So it was actually pretty good that you jumped in right there.
Ben
I was more scared that you were going to get taken by a ghost. She like, well, I heard giggling at 3am did you guys? And Alicia's like, maybe it's the. Maybe it's the. Could be that they don't like their room. They told me.
Ronnie
So they text Rula and Alicia's like,
Guest or Additional Commentator
I really hope Ruler shows up. But I, I feel like there's a better chance of Brian admitting to the affairs than Ruler showing up at the
Ronnie
castle and which is true. And then we go. Now Kelsey and Joellen come into breakfast and Kelsey just ignores Rosie because they had a big fight last episode. In case anyone didn't remember when Kelsey was like, kind of like obnoxious at the table and then tried to act like she was giving a compliment.
Ben
Yeah, Kelsey, do you feel like you got everything off your chest yesterday? Like, how do you feel about it? And Kelsey's like, I don't really know who you are, Rosie, because you're like always changing something. You know, I thought I was finally seeing the true Rosie. And then the mask was coming off, but it turns out the mask was super glued to her face.
Ronnie
Maybe that's just her face at that point, you know,
Ben
isn't the point to get the mask super glued to your face? I mean, where do I then.
Ronnie
Yeah, you're going to be spending a lot of money on that mask very soon. Yeah, her mask was coming off and then you were so rude. You're like, that's the first genuine thing you've ever said. It's like, okay, I'm going to put the mask on because this is not a safe space. So Rosie's like, well, you don't believe what I have to say. It's fine. Whatever. I got a puke anyway. This morning. I don't care. I don't want to listen to you.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Okay, everyone. Well, happened last night. You couldn't brush off this morning coming down here if I'm feeling. I can't do that. Yeah, I get it.
Ben
And Alicia goes, yeah, yeah. Like, what is that? Like, Like Sasha Fierce, like with Beyonce. You know Beyonce, like when she's on stage and like she turns on her face was like, wait, can I just finish this, Alicia?
Guest or Additional Commentator
Like, you have to Go into this.
Ben
Who? What are you talking about? No, no, I'm saying that could be like, Rosie's. Rosie's alter ego. Let me finish my story. Like, what are you talking about?
Guest or Additional Commentator
Like, who? Sassy, fiercer. I don't even know what you talking about. I only know. I only know the gypsy boat, you know?
Ben
So maybe if Rosie wasn't afraid of someone yelling at her all the time, she'd be. If she'd be able to open up more. But, like, maybe she just needs more nurture. Okay, you know what? Nurture scaves me. I can't nurture.
Guest or Additional Commentator
I don't like to nurture.
Ronnie
And so as she starts crying for no reason and she's like. Jordan's like, oh, God, she's gonna cry again. She's like, I'm fine. I just. I feel bad for Rosie. I mean, she just. She wants to freely express herself, you know?
Ben
Oh, that's Madonna. That's Madonna, not Sasha Fierce. You, please really don't know your music. Just feel like, I'm gonna throw up, you guys. I'm gonna throw up. So now Alicia's like, you know what? I feel like there's spirits in the house and they're, like, starting to possess us because, like, some of Caspers, the friendly ghosts. But, like, maybe some witches are here. Maybe they're ghosts. Maybe it's like ghost witches.
Ronnie
The producer goes, you mean ghosts? Like ghosts?
Ben
Ghost.
Ronnie
Ghosts. Ghosts. There are ghosts. Not ghosts. There's ghosts.
Ben
A ghost. It's a ghost. Okay, ghost. I can't say it. Ghost. Like that.
Ronnie
She's like, there's. My CPU has run out. There's. There's no more room for To. For me to type out an S. Her Bluetooth keyboard lost connection.
Ben
So Kelsey goes up to Rosie's room and she's like, how are you doing? And Ashley's listening. She's listening at the door. And Kelsey's like, I just wanted to talk to you because, like, obviously, if you're uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable. Like, I can have an attitude or, like, I could be harsh, but it's because, like, I don't feel like I understand you well enough.
Ronnie
Well, it's easy to say I'm standoffish or, like, look at all the we hear about Rosie. But, like, if you're gonna do that, like, you can't expect me to be like, wanna hang out or get to know you because I will, like, shut down.
Ben
Yeah. But I do want to make a connection and be friends.
Ronnie
Yeah. I mean, I want to open up and move forward. Too. I also want to run to the toilet right now, and I have to have this stupid conversation with you. So, yeah, I'm not that happy about it.
Ben
She's like, you know, I got a tough exterior because my face is brutal. Okay. She's like, well, I mean, look. I mean, I just want to have fun today, so let's just both try, and we'll go on the water slide, okay? And so they laugh, and Kelsey's like, okay, my resting face is involuntary. I hope she just sees that I want to move past this and have fun.
Ronnie
So back in Rosie's room, Ashley comes in. She goes, okay, the energy in this room right now is good. Oh, my God. I can't stop crying because I'm so happy about the good energy. Oh, my God. Group hug. Because, by the way, Ashley was, like, listening in the entire time. She was like. They had this sort of amazing shot where they're in one room, and then you sort of see the wall divider and just sort of see Ashley listening in on the other side of the wall. So she comes in, she's happy. And then outside, someone has set up, like, a giant water slide. And it's just so funny because this castle is this old, old gilded age castle mansion thing. And then there just this big, goofy, ginormous water slide. Inflatable water slides outside.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
Just as. As was intended for this estate.
Ben
Alicia's like, I'm sweating like a pig in charge to pick a sweat in church. Those who. Who pig. I'm a pig. I'm a pig sweating in church. I don't know what it is. I'm a church sweating in a pig. I don't know who. Who cares? Give me a cracker. So now we see Alicia, and she's like, you know, with them fighting me, Liz attacking me, and, like, Ashley crying, I feel like me and Joellen, like, need to get out of this house and have a. You know, because, like, even being in a cute tassel castle, girls need space. So they go, her and Joelle and call a car, and they're gonna go somewhere alone for girls day.
Ronnie
Yes. They're driving. They're driving along, and they have a chauffeur named Jamie. And Alicia's like, hey, Jamie, you ever
Guest or Additional Commentator
drop anyone off or pick anyone up at this castle before? Huh? You ever been in the castle before? Huh? He's like, yes, actually.
Ronnie
Yeah. I used Olivia.
Guest or Additional Commentator
No way.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
Oh, yeah.
Ben
Why?
Guest or Additional Commentator
You live here? Yeah.
Ronnie
Yeah. Swear to God. Swear to God. I came to college here. Like, we lived on the top floor Freshman year, Like, yeah. When I was going to college, we lived on the top floor of this castle. I'm like, did you squat? Please tell me you're just squatting there like you didn't actually live there, right?
Ben
Yeah. There's also some paranormal activity going on there. And they're like, what? He goes, yeah, Supposedly there was a nun who hung herself up on the third floor. We used to hear four footsteps. It was terrible. She hung herself and then she was walking around after. Would she use a really long rope?
Ronnie
Why was there a nun in this mansion? This isn't a convent. That doesn't make any sense. This guy's full of it. He'd never lived there. This guy is a literal liar. Yeah, yeah, there was a nun and she got mauled by a circus tiger in the attic. So like, now that the tiger and the nun, they haunt and they walk around. They haunt things and that's like, what they do. I know because I lived up there
Ben
in the attic during the n. Was being accused about lying. She was accused of lying about bleeding out an. Because she was really the guy at a news station instead. Like, oh, my God, it's all happening. It's all happening again.
Ronnie
I was like, what is this guy talking about? Like, that's like, I don't understand any world in which there's a nun who's so distraught that she comes to this castle and goes all the way up to the attic and hangs herself. Unless she was having an affair. Oh, it's actually getting good. She was hanging, having an affair outside the convent. And like, no one.
Ben
Brian.
Ronnie
No one in the.
Ben
Brian's been around that long.
Ronnie
Yeah, Brian.
Ben
Brian's first affair a hundred years ago. So now at the mansion, at the yard, Rosie's feeling bloated and she's like, you know, I just need a slide. I don't need to be doing anything more mature than this. So Liz and Kelsey are watching them slide, and Liz is like, you know,
Guest or Additional Commentator
this is kind of the antithesis of
Ben
what I'm used to at this mansion. I'm seeing a big, bright slide. But usually here's most spooky.
Ronnie
It was most spooky. Like, Liz does not like the vibe of this slide. She doesn't like what it looks like. She doesn't like the activity. She thinks it's immature. She wants a spooky fun time. I mean, look, she lives in, like, a castle on the water as it is, so she's really into, like, these gothic vibes etc and she's like, this is kind of ruining it. Right. But of course, it's a little best time.
Ben
It is a little weird that it's a. It's a trip. And so far, they're like, let's have a tea out on the patio or out on the grass next to, like, a rickety iron plant holder. And then we'll have dinner inside wearing masks. And then the next day, we'll blow up a water slide. Like, are they not letting you shoot Newport? Like, I don't know, go something.
Ronnie
It does feel, like, a little weird. It feels like, um. It's like the producers were like, how do we shoot these shows? What do they do on the other shows? I don't know. Do they do water slides?
Ben
Sure.
Ronnie
Should we try that? Okay, great. Um. It is weird. But of course, Ash is having a great time. I mean, it looks like a fun slide. Let's not be wrong. Let's not be crazy here. Let's not be prudes. It looks like a super fun slide. And Ash is like, this slide is a wild, effing ride. Like, you get on the air on that thing, and I'm glad I laser hair removed my bikini line, because that thing is gonna be moving. Oh, my God. And the way you go just sliding down that water. They're like, there is no water. She's like, what do you mean? Those were your tears,
Ben
by the way. This is produced by evolution. So this is not some new company that's just like, hey, how do we do a Housewives show? I think they probably just couldn't get. I don't know. People are probably like, newport's very classy. We've got castles here 100 years old.
Ronnie
You ain't shooting, but they go, they're
Ben
shooting your lunch scene here.
Ronnie
Maybe Roni ruined Newport. They're like, never again. Stay out of our businesses.
Ben
Yeah, it's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. We go to Joellen and Alicia, and they're taking a little walk, and Elise is like, we're gonna. You know, we're so athletic. Like, I don't know if I want to take this water with me. You know, this is where I get anxiety about it, you know, like, holding things. Like, it's hot. You know, you walk and then you have to hold things. It's anxiety. I don't want to do it. Take my water.
Guest or Additional Commentator
It's like, well, you know, I'm happy.
Ben
We.
Guest or Additional Commentator
We got to get away from the girls.
Ronnie
I mean, I felt like last night got very deep.
Guest or Additional Commentator
She's like, yeah. By the way, I'm gonna ask you about your mom because, like, she's always, like, so jovial and funny. Like when we were growing up, she's like, yeah, can you tell me about your mom and everything?
Ronnie
So now we hear more of Joellen's story. And, like, I felt a bit bad because the past few weeks, we've been like, your mom seems fine. She showed up. She babysat the kids. Like, like, all we've seen is your mom been, like, really nice. And, like, what's the full story? You got sent. You got sent away. But, like, I'm sure there's a full story. But now we hear more of the story, and I'm like,
Ben
this is nuts. Well, this doesn't sound fairness. We did say. We did say we're reserving full judgment till we hear the whole story, but so far, what we'd heard. We're on the mom's side, but, yeah, this is definitely. We. We definitely heard more of the story today.
Ronnie
Basically. This is definitely. This is not. The prosecution has a good case here.
Ben
So she's like, my mom sent me to a behavioral facility. Facility. And, you know, she's. My mom's very triggering because she'll say, I've always loved you. But then I remind her, you didn't even like me. Because she sent me to places with rapists and murderers and people who stab people. And 99% of the people in those facilities was court ordered. And then you have me. And she said that the mom sent her because she said she didn't know how to control her. And she's like, but I didn't drink or do drugs. I mean, I was a straight A student. Her biggest problem with me was that I had big boobs and boys liked me. So she thought I was being promiscuous even though I wasn't doing anything. Okay, but if she couldn't control you. If your mom says, I can't. I don't know. I'm still not hearing everything I want to know. Tell me the full truth.
Ronnie
But here's the thing. So then she says that her older sister was sent away first, and then Joellen was sent away three different times. And I think for me, originally, when I heard the story, I was like, I feel like there's something more to it. I feel like the mom has a story that was like, no, you were out of control. And you're gonna say you weren't out of control, but I was the mother, and I was the only. I sort of thought that was what it was gonna be, but Joellen was sent away three different times, and the sister was sent away. It kind of. It does not sound.
Ben
It's giving mom from Carrie, where she's like, that's a sin.
Ronnie
You're a sinner. You better stop giving mom. And also, like. Like, that's a lot of times to send away your kids. And then we. We all. Then she tells us even more that she was sent away for the first time in seventh grade to a drug rehab. And Joanne's like, I wasn't even doing drugs. And then they basically sent her back. They're like, she's not on drugs. Why is she in rehab? So that's. I'm like, wait, this is some. This is. No, this is not a situation where it's like a typical real housewife who's giving, like, a sob story that's obviously very much, like, complementary to her experience, but, like, maybe doesn't give the full context of what's going on. I was like, no, this actually sounds like. Like, the mom was doing some bad here.
Ben
That sounds full on crazy. Like, what. What is going on with the mom? Like, is the mom just nuts? Where she'd be like, up. You didn't put the toilet lid down. You're going to. You're going to rehab. Like, what. It's just.
Ronnie
And then Joelle.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
I also didn't realize it was a going away. For some reason in my mind, I didn't think it was like a. Like, away boarding school. I thought it was like a. Instead of going to school, she went to a program with kids who were, like, troubled. I didn't realize it was a. No, you're going off to, like, brat camp or something.
Ben
Yeah. Like, a behavioral center is, like, where they send better ways than brat camp. Behavioral health center. And the same thing happened to me. I mean, I was with. The guy that I was rooming with was a gang member who had shot somebody, and he had to wear these. They look like head, kind of like headphones, but they went behind your ears, and they vibrated. And I heard them, and I said, what's that? And he's like, it's for the rage. I was like, oh, my God. So he had to keep those in. And at first, I was really scared, but then I realized, like, everybody's kind of the same. Like, in a way. I mean, everybody had done different things, but, you know, they're just kids, too. They ended up sending me home, too, because they were like, what? I was best friends with all the nurses, of course. Like, I made Friends with all the people in there. I mean, I actually had a great time when I was in there, because everybody was so nice. And, you know, I love a story. So I'm like, what do you. What'd you do? Where. Why are you in here? You know? And they tell me the gang stories or whatever, and I just thought everyone was so sweet. And, like, everybody really opened up in group and stuff, and they were like, we love Ronnie, but you should probably take him home, because this is.
Ronnie
He's not.
Ben
He's just, like, literally having lunch with the nurses every day and having fun. He's asking for more of the sticky socks. Like, I loved the socks box with the rubber stuff on the bottom. I was like, these are great. Why don't we have these in outside of the hospital? Do you guys ever think of selling these?
Ronnie
Wow. So Joellen's basically saying that she was at the second place for two months, which was rough. And then the third place, she said. Then the third place was the worst. And she said her mom, at that point, gave partial custody to the state because her insurance stopped paying for it. Which I was like, you're gonna give the state, like, partial custody of your child just because she's, like, annoying you or, like, you feel like your. Your daughter is, like, promiscuous? I was like, okay, this is. This is wild. And, you know, we said last time, like, well, the trailer did a lot of heavy lifting for our opinion because they kept on showing that shot of the mom crying. Like, I did the best that I could. And I was like. I was like, she did the best that she could. But now I'm seeing this. I'm like, this is not the best experience you can do. Sorry.
Ben
Yeah. I'm definitely wondering what the hell is going on with this mother. I need to know. I need the mother scene right now. This isn't something. Slow drip to me. I need question. I have questions that need answered right now. And then she said the third one she was at for over a year. Over a year she was sent there, and she was only in the ninth grade.
Ronnie
That's, like, such a big chunk of time. And in a formative time of your childhood, I literally cannot even imagine. That's crazy. And I understand there are people that need to be sent to these programs that there's, like, a very serious need for it. But from what it sounds like, at least from Joellen's perspective, she sounds like she was basically put there because her mom just wanted her out of her hair. And I don't know Want to do something else? I'm like, I was kind of gobsmacked by this scene.
Ben
Well, she says the third one, what the mom referred to as a boarding school, but it wasn't a boarding school. They were kids who were, like, cutting themselves and trying to commit suicide, and there were male and female predators, and kids were restrained there. And when the state told her they wanted to take 100 custody of me, she didn't want to lose full custody. So that, you know, that day, mom decided she was all better then.
Ronnie
Like, oh, yeah, she's fine. She can come back now.
Ben
Yikes.
Ronnie
That's like, so I feel so bad for Joelle, and that's, like, very traumatic. I. I. Yeah, that's wild. So now things make a lot more sense now, because before I was like, you got sent off.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Well, meaning.
Ronnie
No, meaning that, like, why she's so upset at her mom. Like, it makes more sense.
Ben
Yeah. I need. I just need this mom scene right now. I need to. Because I need. Mom's a mom. To say, like, but I thought this was happening, or I thought that. Or you did this. Or you hear the other side. Because, like, to me, just a parent saying, like, well, my kid has boobs, so I'm sending her to a rehab, and then I'm sending her to another school, and then I'm sending her to a boarding school for suicidal kids. You know, like, there has to be. I just need to know the whole thing. I'm not saying that she's not telling the truth. I'm saying I just need. I need the whole story. I. What's happening here? What is happening?
Ronnie
We're very conditioned to reality stars in general telling stories that make them look, you know, like, they have been like, like, innocently aggrieved. And so we're. We're just sort of used to being like, what's the other side of this? But this is a pretty compelling story, and it sounds really, really terrible. And the mom has a lot of. The mom has a lot of explaining to do. And watch the mom be like, you lit our house on fire.
Ben
That's what I'm waiting for. Like, because short of that, I'm like, this mother is horrible. You know, like, the mom really needs to come in with something. Like, you set the house on fire. You killed, you know, your aunt. You, you know, cut the dog's tail off and snorted it, you know, while you were the bus driver. Like, I. It needs to be something just here.
Ronnie
Yep. Yeah, we need. We need. We did. This is. We've now Upped the ante here. So let's get this mom scene going. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Pretty. Pretty wild and pretty terrible. And I. My heart kind of bricks for. For Joellen about this. And Alicia's like, I didn't know.
Guest or Additional Commentator
I'm so sorry I'm there. I had no idea. My dolls never told me. Okay.
Ronnie
They hug and they cry. And Alicia's also talking about her dad. And now she's starting to realize that maybe the reason why she hasn't been rushing to marry Billy is because she just is afraid that the guy's gonna leave. So she wants to be the first one to leave. Etc. So. Yeah. And so then, I mean, I get
Ben
that, but also, this guy is, like, trying to say, okay, fine, I'll marry you, but you get nothing in a divorce. So, like, this guy's also an. So, like, I'd love to. You know, I'm glad you're in touch with your feelings, but, like, let's not blame, you know, past traumas for this guy also kind of being an. On how he's treating you, because, yeah, that's him being an.
Ronnie
You know, Joellen says, well, I don't
Guest or Additional Commentator
know if any amount of therapy will make you feel better, but, like, I just think, like, getting things off your
Ronnie
chest will eat some of the pain in your heart. Alicia, you got to share more.
Guest or Additional Commentator
And literally goes, oh, my God, the wind just blew when you said that,
Ronnie
and I felt it.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Oh, let's break the cycle.
Ronnie
I need some crackers.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Okay. God.
Ben
Meanwhile, it's like a windy day. It's been blowing all over the scene. Oh, my God, the wind blew. The wind blew.
Ronnie
Let's have crackers.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Okay, look, we're gonna break the cycle by having a cracker.
Ronnie
Oh, my God, I didn't pack my crackers today.
Guest or Additional Commentator
How did I not bring my crackers? I need a cracker.
Ronnie
You don't even know how much I need a cracker, so get back in the car. And she's literally like, if I don't
Guest or Additional Commentator
have a cracker in two seconds, I like a little. I'll tell you what cycle I need to break. The non cracker cycle. Get me a cracker, please.
Ben
Check. We deserve some champagne and crackers. Oh, God. Ruler just texted me. She said my body has been like, head to toe pain. Like, I was looking forward to being on the trip with you. I hope y' all Jewishing everything crazy, right? It's crazy, right? What's in Jewishing enjoying? I don't know. She seems to have a lot of health concerns. Right.
Ronnie
So then, Flash, we just see how like, Ruler always has, like, like an
Ben
illness gonna show up to work ever. But Rula is also going to make sure that when these ladies are on vacation, her husband will not have a chance to go cheat with that lady. That lady, this guy is such a pig. And that lady he's with is also a nasty piece of work. She posted this week her going to the same restaurant they shot at last week. Jo Ellen and Rula went and shot at this restaurant for like a heart to heart. And then the mistress went to the restaurant and shot herself and tagged the restaurant was like, sipping some tea.
Ronnie
I've been here too.
Ben
That is creep behavior. That is psycho.
Ronnie
Yeah. So now we go and we see Brian, and we're at Rolls Roll his house. And Brian is putting together a tray to take care of Rula. And he's being extra nice because basically he was, you know, caught again, cheating by. By Joellen. So he's being really nice to her and he's bringing her food, and he has the kids making Ruler get well cards. And the kids are, of course, adorable. And so he brings this. This tray in and rule is like, in her bed, and she's like, cut off, cut off. It's like full cough when you cough.
Ben
Full face of glam. Her hair is all done. It's like cough, cough. The day before the girls trip, I felt not good. I couldn't walk, I couldn't move. I was like, is my blood even moving through my veins? That's where the blood is, Right? So I went to the doctor and I said I could die. And they did a CAT scan, an mri, a blood work. Everything was coming back negative. So they thought maybe it was, you know, one of those viruses you can't pinpoint and categorize. No, babe, viruses, they can pinpoint and categorize. There viruses show up in a. In a test.
Ronnie
Rula, I love.
Ben
I'm starting to really love Rula, though. It's so funny. She's like, you know, one of those viruses, they can't pinpoint it.
Ronnie
Yeah. You know, patient zero for they. They're calling it Ruleritis. I'm a. I'm a. I. I don't like being patient zero, but someone's gotta be it. But like, I can't. I can't do anything about it. I'm. I'm. I'm sick. I'm sick.
Guest or Additional Commentator
I'm ill.
Ronnie
I need help.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Oh.
Ben
Oh, it hurts so much to talk. This is the first time I'm able to sit up. Who did your makeup? Who did your hair? Get out of here. She's like, it's so frustrating. I'm dying.
Ronnie
I'm dying in the bed. Tell my kids I love them. They're right here. Rula. Oh, cough, cough. Oh, my lungs. They can't take it anymore. They don't even know what's happening anymore. It's terrible.
Ben
And the daughter brings in like a scribbled picture. It's just like scribbles on a page. She's like, mommy, do you like the picture I made for you? She's like, oh, my God, it's my cells. It's my cells. No, this is not the test work from the doctor. Actually, I asked the doctor for the test work and it is a. It's a. It's a joker card. Really, really weird. Not sure what that is. I'm dying. I'm literally dying.
Ronnie
It's all happening. I'm going towards the light. I'm going towards the light right now. Okay, Brian, any last words? He's like, well, so you bummed about not going on the trip? Yeah. But Alicia, she called, she's so sweet. I'm just better off here with the near and dear and also keep my eye on you. Not for any particular reason, but you know, he's like, cough, cough, cough, cough. Oh, you got the cough too. I'm sorry. On patient zero, it's very difficult.
Ben
So now we go down, we go back to the slide and the girls are going down. And now the butlers come out, Boris and Robert. And they're like, oh my God. You guys want to join us? You wearing any underwear? And they come out and they are ready to go. He's. Boris is wearing his butler jacket, but he's got no shirt on and he's got swim trunks on. So now the butlers come down and Rosie's flirting with them. She's like, oh my God, Boris has a hot booty. Oh my God, those washboard abs.
Ronnie
They are obsessed with Boris. Boris is like a hunky Russian Michael Shannon. And I just felt bad for the other guy cuz like, oh my God, Boris.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Boris.
Ronnie
Look at Boris. Cs. I'm going to marry Boris. Boris, you have a girlfriend?
Guest or Additional Commentator
Boris.
Ronnie
Boris. Boris. The other guy's like, but what about me? Igor? They just literally act like he doesn't exist. Yeah.
Ben
And so they're flirting and laughing, giggling, and Liz is like, I can't stand here and flirt with 20 year old models. I'm not going to do it.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Okay? I'm going home.
Ben
It's challenging sometimes to be in a group of friends who could essentially be my daughters. You know, I'm not flirting with 21 year old butlers. That's not really my wheelhouse right now. All right. You know, maybe one of them said, liz, I love you, but I gotta go away for three weeks.
Guest or Additional Commentator
I don't know, I'd be tempted, but yeah, you got these guys.
Ronnie
Do you get the feeling from Liz's reaction that there's like, she seems like, like so not disdainful, but she's like, like, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Like, this is stupid. I kind of feel like they're, you know, they always test a whole bunch of people for these shows. And I kind of get the feeling like there were some other people that were like, maybe more of Liz's peers who were like, maybe in an original group. And then Bravo was like, let's not have them. Let's have like Ashley from the Bachelor. Let's have this young Kelsey girl because she's got a sugar daddy and let's have Rosie. And she's kind of like, okay, great.
Guest or Additional Commentator
So now I'm on this show with
Ronnie
these girls I don't really know who
Guest or Additional Commentator
are like 20 years younger than me. I'm supposed to pretend like I'm friends with them. Like, okay, sure.
Ronnie
And she's just been like trying to like connect with these girls for a few weeks now. And she's like, I give up. No, I'm not gonna do the slide. I'm not gonna flirt with these stupid.
Ben
I'm glad she said no to it.
Ronnie
Yeah.
Ben
You know, because then if she had done it, everybody would have been like, oh my God, that like, that lady's flirting with a child, you know?
Ronnie
Yeah.
Ben
So I'm glad she's like, yeah, I'm not doing this. I mean, you know, you guys, the producers can make us a reservation at a decent restaurant like any other Housewives show or I'll be inside. Okay.
Ronnie
Yeah, I like that. She's like, I've got standards. So she goes to her room and then Ashley comes in to check in on her. She's like, hey, I just want to check in on you.
Guest or Additional Commentator
And she's like, look, okay, I just got. I just get bored. I'm not trying to get on a slipping slide at 56 and float with 21 year old butlers.
Ronnie
It's just not what I do. It's like, okay, well, it's your right to be hellish. But I still get jealous. I'm sorry, I'm just Gonna. We're not gonna be able to see the Jonas Brothers. I'm just so upset. I'm so upset right now.
Ben
Well, I just didn't want you to. I didn't want you to feel bad, that's all.
Ronnie
Okay.
Guest or Additional Commentator
It's like, ah, you know, I, like, I didn't know Ashley well, but, you
Ben
know, she was sweet girl.
Guest or Additional Commentator
What a sweet girl.
Ben
You. You're a good friend, Ashley. She's like. Well, I've heard around from people around Rhode island that once you get through Liz's tough exterior, she's more of a lamb. Am I seeing lamb? Liz, Lamby. Liz, Liz, Lamby.
Guest or Additional Commentator
You know, that's like a Mariah Carey fan, right? Mariah Carey, huh? It's like, I. I still don't know who you're talking about.
Ronnie
So then Joelle and Alicia are back, and they. Now it's time to get ready for the evening and whatever they're gonna be doing this evening. So Joellen and Alicia. Kelsey is tanning outside. She's like, in the middle of this patchy ass backyard grass. I mean, this is big estate with this big, beautiful mansion. And the grass is like, you know, it's like brown here. Shaggy over here. It's just. It's just so money to me. I'm like, God, I love your grass.
Ben
Make sure it's so fun.
Ronnie
I love the grass. Shame on this week.
Ben
You're like, this grass. Someone needs to take care of this grass.
Ronnie
You're on tv. You rented out your giant ass mansion to be on tv. I understand. Okay.
Ben
Glam. Where the hell is the grass? Glam. Everybody else gets glam on this show.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Yeah.
Ronnie
I'm like, I understand. You can't polish all the wood surfaces on the interior. You can't update everything. You can't, like, fix all the. The chips and the. Everything in the wood and the surfaces and the walls and, like, it's like a little shabby in there, but okay. It's old. You can mow the lawn, though. Okay? Get Jamie the chauffeur. Give him, throw him a few dollars, Let him. Let him ride the John Deere around and fix this thing. You're on tv. Do better.
Ben
Yeah. So meanwhile, the girls are still flirting and giggling outside. And Kelsey gets stung on the bee by a butt or gets stung on the butt by a bee. Sorry. And then back inside, Liz comes or Alicia comes back, and they're complimenting each other. Complimenting each other. And Elisa's like, don't I look like a hookah?
Guest or Additional Commentator
Do I look like a hookah no, I love it. I love it. Looks great. You know, I've been to mini harbors on the Italian Riviera and the French Riviera, the Rhode Island Riviera, the Connecticut Riviera, Riviera Casino, which was somewhere in the world, I don't know. But Newport is spectacular. Have you ever been on a boat
Ronnie
underneath a bridge that has a bunch
Guest or Additional Commentator
of trucks on it? That's what you get in the Newport Harbor. I can't wait to go and show the ladies this. They're gonna see my sunset clothes.
Ronnie
Here comes one right now.
Ben
So now everybody gets ready and gets in the cars and Alicia pulls out a bag of crackers. Check. Want a cracker?
Ronnie
This lady, she's always. And, like, I don't think she's doing it to be funny or to have a gimmick. I think she genuinely is.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Like, I'm gonna share my love of crackers with these other women. They're gonna know. They're gonna know about the crackers like the ones we got at Superior Bakery.
Ben
You better crack. So. So in the other car, Ashley FaceTimes her mom. And we find out that Audrey is her mother. What a twist. Coffee shop after her mom. So someone's gotta pay for it. Dawson's sick. So we find out Dawson is sick. And Ashley, of course, just, you know, laughs it off. And she's like, he'll take care of himself. It'll be fine. This was us being a mother. Just kidding. SHE SOBS yeah, she.
Ronnie
I was like, what? Yeah. So the thing is that Dawson. When Dawson gets sick, he has labored breathing. And so she's nervous about this, and so she's checking in with her mom as if her mom never raised a child before. Like, I think that like. Like, Ashley just has visions of her mom just, like, one foot in the garbage can, like a teapot on her head, like a fire on the stove. Mom just checking in. Do you know what to do? The mom's like, I know what to do. It's okay.
Ben
Well, we apparently raised Ashley. I mean, that's true.
Ronnie
But I mean, I guess.
Ben
SOBBING
Ronnie
it is scary if you have a child who has, like, a sensitivity. I mean, it's scary in general when your child is scary. Get sick. But, like, when your child also has, like, labor breathing. I get it. But I just think it's funny. It's like, you know, I think the mom knows what she's doing. I don't know why I'm so, like, Team mom on when we talk about Rhode Island. I don't Know what's happening. But, like, I don't know. When you hear the mom, she's. Mom's like, yeah, it's okay, he's sick. If he's. If he's. If it gets worse, we'll take him to the hospital. So they get on this boat. They got on a boat to go
Guest or Additional Commentator
in the harbor, the Newport Riviera.
Ronnie
And it's cold. It's cold and gray.
Ben
Yeah. And so the boat driver, they're flirting. Rosie's like, oh, my God, are you single, sir? He is. Joanne's like, my sister is single. She's beautiful. You would love her. It would be great to give her something to do that's not with my husband. So
Ronnie
we see. Have another flashback to. To Jen, Joellen and Gary sitting by the pool. And Jen just, like, staring at Gary like.
Ben
So she's like, yeah, I'm always on the hunt for Jen. Really be nice. So she'd get out of my house. That would be fun. So then we go to back to present and Rosie's like, oh, my God, there's pink hats.
Ronnie
Look.
Ben
Look at all these people wearing a pink hat.
Ronnie
So. So isn't this fun? They all love pink hats. And Ashley now starts crying. She gets another call and she's like, I have to go. Dawson's in the emergency room. I gotta go. So basically, Ashley's dad is a doctor and said, yeah, we should take the kid to the emergency room. Which, by the way, your dad's a doctor. Your dad's a doctor. I mean, I'm not saying that she shouldn't be nervous and she shouldn't go to her kids. She should. Absolutely. She's doing the exact thing that she should be doing. But I feel like I'd feel so much better if my dad were a doctor. I'd be like, okay, take care of it. Right?
Ben
No, just leave it with dad. Just like, ah, that's a doctor. He's fine. Emergency rooms from emergency room. Dad's a doctor.
Ronnie
He's got it. I would feel great about that anyway.
Ben
No, but.
Ronnie
No, for real. I understand. She lives. It's you. She gotta. She has to leave. She has to leave her kids going to the hospital.
Ben
Yeah, I mean, I just looked up, did Ashley's son die? And he didn't. So I really don't care. So then back to the boat. Alicia's like, you know what I'm said about, though, like, the crackers, they're like all the way across the table. And everyone knows how much I love a pita cracker. Okay. That's all I eat.
Ronnie
So they crackers.
Ben
And so Joanne's like, oh, my favorite whole part of this trip. Right. Is right now. Just because there's cheese here. I've got cheese and my girls and tequila. Yeah. You know what? You need your girlfriends. You need girlfriends. Cheers. To a deeper connection.
Guest or Additional Commentator
She is. Cheers.
Ronnie
And then Joellen announces, I never had
Guest or Additional Commentator
sex on a boat.
Ronnie
And Kelsey goes, but I think you've had sex with my ex on a boat. It's like, what? On a boat Now? I mean, I remember us. She tells us.
Guest or Additional Commentator
I'm.
Ronnie
Well, Kelsey says, I remember my ex saying he had some sort of sex escapade with Joellen and another girl on a boat. Apparently, they were, like, very loud, and everyone on the top part of the boat was like, what the hell's going on down there?
Ben
Joel's like, I mean, that was on land. It wasn't on a boat. I was sledding in my 20s.
Ronnie
Mom's like, I told you. I told you.
Ben
Mom's right behind her with a butterfly net.
Ronnie
She's like Those cartoons on TV's bloopers and practical jokes.
Ben
Yeah. So Kelsey is like, wait, that was before his brother, right? So then we find out that Joellen has been with Kelsey's ex as well as his brother, which I think we knew in the first episode or something. And Jolin's like, the. The brother. The better brother in bed. I mean, Kelsey knows the answer to that. Wow. Everybody. Just everybody in this town. I guess this is not the place for a low sexual, like, a low sex drive person. That's for sure.
Ronnie
Yeah. Everyone's just like, it's. You're. You're going to people in Newport, Cranston, or Providence, and that's it. So Liz was like, oh, my God,
Guest or Additional Commentator
look how beautiful that bridge is. Look at. I love that bridge. Like, yeah, I would love a tequila shot. You know what? I would love a tequila. Why don't they have tequila with cracker flavor? That'd be the best.
Ronnie
So Kelsey goes, on that note, I'm going to take a look at the boat.
Ben
So they move to the front of these split conversations. So Jo Ellen and Kelsey and are in one conversation, and Alicia and Rosie are in another, and they're talking about Kelsey and Rosie making up. And Kelsey's saying, yeah, you know, I felt better going to Rosie's room and talking to her today, like you said.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Mm.
Ronnie
And then meanwhile, Joellen and Kelsey are talking, and Kelsey goes, I'm gonna accept
Guest or Additional Commentator
her for who she is and let the past Go. It's like, yeah, I agree with that. You know, she built a. She built a 75 million square foot house. Like, great. So cool. I'm, you know, I'm excited to party there, let her build some huge mansion that she claims.
Ben
Yeah. And so leash is like, you gotta admit, she's sweet. Right, Kelsey? Right? She's sweet. She's like, yeah, but I'm a Taurus, so, like, I don't forget things that were said because I'm a Taurus. So now we go to the mansion, and there's a beetle in the room, and Alicia grabs a doll and crushes the beetle with the doll.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Thank you for your service.
Ben
100-year-old antique doll. She just like, slams on the ground to crush the beetle. So Joellen's on the balcony and Liz comes in to find her and. And we just hear, oh, it sounds like. It sounds like Joella's text tone. Better go check on her.
Guest or Additional Commentator
What's wrong, honey? You look upset. Did you get a text?
Ben
She's like, I feel like. Reminds me of the other day at polo when, you know, you and I went to Rula and she was like, saying she wants proof. Well, guess what? I got proof. Was that the sound? That was the sound. It was my text tone.
Ronnie
So they look and it's like, holy sh.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Okay, okay, I've seen enough. I've seen enough. It's too much. I don't want to look at it.
Ronnie
It's like, that's just video from the slide this morning.
Guest or Additional Commentator
I know. I didn't want. I don't want to look at the slide anymore. I don't want it.
Ben
21 year old going down the slide. The video watching was kind of interesting because they're looking at it. She's like, okay, all right. It's the video. All right. Oh, God. Oh, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, no.
Guest or Additional Commentator
I can't look anymore.
Ben
I was like, okay, well, what happened in this video? This is long.
Ronnie
Yeah. So then Rosie, Kelsey, and Alicia are having snacks in the common area. And Rosie's like, I tried to. I tried FaceTiming Ashley before. She didn't. But she didn't answer. And I just feel really bad for her. I hope she's okay. But then Liz and Joellen come in and they look, like, really upset.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Like, did you see the nun? You saw the nun? Was she hanging us out? There's a ghost nun, right? He saw. Was the nun doing a beer bong with the college kids up there? Oh, God.
Ben
More has been uncovered with ruler. Oh, my gosh. And Liz goes, it's time. Unleash the hounds. Wait, what's the hounds mean? What's that?
Guest or Additional Commentator
What?
Ben
What?
Guest or Additional Commentator
What hounds? Are those like a new type of cracker? I'll try it.
Ronnie
So Joellen's like. She brings the phone over to the group, and they look at it, and Joel goes, keep in mind, everyone, that we went to polo on the 9th. So here. So on the screen, we see this timestamp from the 7th, two days before the polo event.
Ben
And they said they watch it. And they're watching the video. Rosie's like, oh, this is bad. Makes you so happy. She's like, oh, my God, this is so bad. So she says, the video starts. You're looking through a glass door, and Brian and this blonde woman are standing there. And then Brian is like, consoling and caressing her, and then he's kissing her, and then he's got his hand on her ass, and there's like a long five minute hug. And Alicia's like, like, who? Who hugs for that long? That's like so long.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Joellen is vindicated. She said, Brian is still with a woman. You can't deny the video footage, you know?
Ronnie
So they're just like, wow. And Joellen's like, see, this is Brian's red interior.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Look who has a red interior.
Ronnie
Because apparently this. Well, I guess they're looking at that same photo from before on the polo day when the. When the mistress took a photo inside the red interior car. And Rosie says, I don't think anyone
Guest or Additional Commentator
doubts that Brian has cheated on Rula,
Ronnie
but I'm more curious how Joellen got this video and what she plans on doing with it.
Ben
Yeah, that is a good question. And so Joel's like, well, you know, Rul asked me if there's any proof, which she didn't. Really? You said, if you want proof, I'll work it out. And Rula just was like, huh? And she's like, my girlfriend's friends with the mistress. So I asked her if there's any proof that this is happening. And my friend says, oh, there's plenty of proof. And I'd never asked my friend for that, but Rula said she wanted hard proof, so this is as hard as it gets. But how did you get the video? Who's taking the video outside the glass door? Is it your friend? Is it the friend? The friend went and took a video of the lady.
Ronnie
So was your friend at the same wedding as Wes Wilson this weekend? Because I also saw some footage of him dancing with a girl.
Ben
So, Kelsey, so messy. You See, Joe, Ellen acts like she's so innocent, but you're getting your friend to go stand behind a glass door, and then is a friend in cahoots with her friend and saying, oh, we want proof for the husband, so go do this in front of this glass door so I can get video of it.
Ronnie
Yeah.
Ben
That's crazy.
Ronnie
This is a. Yeah. Yeah. So Kelsey is like, I can almost guarantee that Ruler is gonna say that Brian was ending things with her, which is true. Which, by the way, like, that would be funny if Rula does take that point of view. Like, everything is fine. Brian just ended things with his mistress two days ago, so everything is fine. I'm like, it's 48 hours since he ended things with his mistress, and you'd chill with that? Yeah.
Ben
Oh, my gosh.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Is like, well, the question is, what
Ronnie
are we gonna do? She's like, well, I think she needs to see this video. Right?
Guest or Additional Commentator
I mean, hello.
Ronnie
This will be hilarious. Are we not doing this? No. What?
Guest or Additional Commentator
Huh?
Ben
Well, who's gonna do it?
Guest or Additional Commentator
Someone's got a jella.
Ben
They're like, not it. Not it. Not it. Not it. Not it. Not it. They're all like, I'm not doing it, you guys. Rula knows her husband is cheating on her, and she doesn't care. She does not care. And apparently I don't watch the after shows, but apparently on the after show, she's doubling down and getting mad at everybody else and still blaming everybody else when there's all that. She knows that there's all this proof of her husband. So with. With people like that, what are you gonna do? Just.
Ronnie
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
Ben
I don't know what you can eat.
Ronnie
So Joellen is like
Ben
a relationship, you know, just be like, okay, well, she's fine with her husband cheating, so what do I care? Just won't talk about it anymore.
Ronnie
Yeah. So Joellen says, I'm sick of being the one who's always accused of meddling. You're very close with Alicia, so you got to tell us.
Guest or Additional Commentator
I mean, I don't want to break her heart, though. I'm like, I'm so confused. She's. She's. She's about to die. So Liz is like, okay, well, it's just going to be more the same if it's coming from me, so, yeah, you got to do it. Well, this is a very up situation. Like, what are we going to do, girls?
Ronnie
What are we going to do? And, yeah, everyone's like, not me, not me, not me. But we see in the previews for next week that it's going to be Alicia. Alicia who's going to have to sit down on this, like, double date with with Brian and Rula and be like.
Guest or Additional Commentator
So there's a video. Yikes.
Ben
All right, well, that brings us to the end of Rhode Island. Thanks so much for being with us. Come live stream our cabaret June 3rd and June 5th. Get tickets at watch what crap is.com and we will catch you tomorrow. Bye.
Ronnie
Watch what crap INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Ben
Our way is the Amber way.
Ronnie
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
Ben
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
Ronnie
Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Trickolus. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less namey sip floor some
Ben
scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manok.
Ronnie
She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.
Ben
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera. Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
Ronnie
This is Lip in with Michelle Vivian.
Ben
I love Aya. Olivia Williamson.
Ronnie
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Ben
Yes, we can. It's Savannah.
Ronnie
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Ben
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors, she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10
Ronnie
cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the
Ben
gold with Brenda Silva.
Ronnie
Let's get real with Caitlin o'.
Guest or Additional Commentator
Neal.
Ben
Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Ronnie
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.
Ben
Have a kebab with K Rob.
Ronnie
My Favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo let's get sad Savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani Roger that. It's Marlas Rogers the incredible edible Matthew
Ben
Sisters she eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose she's the lady of the house It's Rachel Charouse There's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's our princess It's Rebecca Prince she's the queen
Ronnie
bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot tell
Ben
a lie It's Sarah Tell of son
Ronnie
Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with Tamla Plain Strike a
Ben
pose It's Tori Rose she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys.
Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam recap Season 1, Episode 7 of The Real Housewives of Rhode Island ("Boats, Lies, and Videotape"). This episode revolves around the Housewives’ dramatic getaway at Sea View Terrace (a Newport mansion), including haunted doll rumors, an epic water slide, deep emotional reveals, and the explosive fallout from video evidence of an ongoing affair.
Haunted Doll Comedy:
Bravo Satire:
On Joellen’s Trauma:
Butler Thirst:
Liz as the Outsider:
Rula’s Dying Swan:
Crackers as Coping Mechanism:
Shady Infidelity Proof:
The hosts’ signature style is evident throughout: a blend of sharp satire, affectionate ridicule, Bravo in-jokes, and wry asides. They toggle between genuine empathy (especially for Joellen) and riotous banter about production oddities, haunted houses, and Housewives’ personal quirks.
This episode encapsulates classic Crappens: uproarious recapping, running gags (crackers, haunted dolls, Boris-worship), and a deft balance of humor with real empathy for cast struggles. Whether you follow RHORI or not, Ben and Ronnie’s comedic chemistry and Bravo know-how make for an engaging listen.
The cliffhanger: Who will reveal the incriminating video to Rula, and how will she respond?
Preview: Alicia appears tasked with breaking the news during a double date.
This summary covers all the meaty topics, recaps pivotal scenes, and highlights the hosts’ sharpest jokes and insights, offering both a useful guide for newcomers and plenty of laughs for returning listeners.