#3365 The Valley S3E07 Part One: Drag Him!

Summary

Watch What Crappens #3365 – The Valley S3E07 Part One: Drag Him!
Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam, May 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode, hosted by Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam, dives deep into Season 3, Episode 7 ("Triggers and Tiaras") of Bravo’s "The Valley." The hosts bring their signature blend of humor and razor-sharp commentary, focusing on escalating relationship drama, particularly Danny’s problematic behavior, ongoing cast tensions, and notable confrontations that took place during the San Diego group trip. The episode is especially concerned with calling out unacceptable actions among male cast members and how these impact broader group dynamics and individual well-being.

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Main Discussion Points and Insights

1. Danny’s Downfall: Villain Arc Cemented

• Danny and Nia’s "Hold My Crown" Podcast (03:05–08:07)
  • Ronnie summarizes and reacts strongly to Danny and Nia discussing their marriage on a podcast episode, highlighting Danny's outdated, borderline toxic views on respect and love, and the emotionally manipulative rhetoric he brings to the relationship.
    • Quote (Ronnie, 07:11): "He goes on and says, for us, putting God first and then putting each other first...you’re going to show me respect unconditionally...if I deserve it or not, or if you deserve it or not. What the fuck?"
  • Ben and Ronnie emphasize that Danny’s pattern of behavior is no longer a mere "bad moment," but a revealing, consistent character flaw, and that Nia has consistently taken on the emotional and reputational labor to defend him.
• Group Reaction to Danny’s Behavior (10:04–12:48)
  • Ben: "For him to even go on to the podcast and say...he's not getting enough respect and therefore he can't show love...It's so crazy."
  • The hosts support the group (and especially Lala) finally calling Danny out, contrasting this with defenses like Kristen Doty’s, and acknowledge the disturbing escalation in Danny’s behavior.
  • Ronnie delivers a memorable shock: "I mean, I had no idea it was this bad—now we have to watch someone else abuse their wife on TV? You guys already put us through Jax..."

2. Kristen & Luke: Postpartum and Clueless Partners

• At Belmont Park & Dinner (15:38–26:15)
  • The hosts dissect Luke’s narcissistic approach to Kristen's postpartum struggles––missing empathy, making it about his own needs, and cluelessly reacting when Kristen asks to leave:
    • Quote (Ben, 19:40): "It’s not empathy. No one is expecting you to know what it’s like to have just had a baby...You need sympathy here."
  • Both agree Luke isn't even pulling 50% of the relationship weight and discuss the concept of "sometimes you have to give 90%," which Luke is missing entirely.
  • Ronnie (25:19): "Like, blowing your load in somebody is not doing half the work. She carried that...put it out through her body. Now she’s bleeding. Now she’s got it latched to her, sucking the life out of her. She’s doing everything."

3. Recurring Theme: Men Behaving Badly

• Persistent Selfishness and Lack of Emotional Labor
  • Throughout, the hosts repeat their call for an all-female cast, lamenting the parade of unsupportive, narcissistic male partners (Luke, Danny, Jesse).
    • Quote (Ronnie, 17:03): "Can we just turn this into a Housewives-type show and get rid of all the men, like, for Jesus."

4. Lala’s Redemption & the Group Showdown

• Lala vs. Danny (12:05–12:48 & 29:56–30:17)
  • Lala gets cheered for unleashing on Danny at dinner, using her "powers for good":
    • Ben (12:48): "Lala going off on Danny at the end...was fantastic—she’s like, you do not get to play that with me."
    • Ronnie (12:48): "It was crazy to be in a position where I'm like, fully rooting for Lala again."
  • The hosts revel in the role reversal of rooting for previously problematic cast members (Lala, Janet) against "worse" villains.
• Danny’s Drunkenness Becoming a Villainous Display (28:36–32:51)
  • The escalation of Danny's drunken, bro-y antics at dinner—needling, sarcasm, weird toasting rules—serves as evidence of his deeper issues. The hosts highlight Janet's strategy of letting others expose themselves.

5. The Lacey, Janet, and Michelle Triangle

• Dinner Confrontation (33:00–41:38)
  • Lacey confronts Janet for perceived bullying and bringing up legal threats.
    • Lacey (33:28): "I don’t personally like the gang up, mean girl bully thing...you went on national television and told the world I was threatening to sue you."
  • The hosts debate the rationality of Lacey sending cease and desists in response to on-air rumors, recognizing both the heightened emotions and the practical reality TV effect ("It just exacerbates it").
  • Ben and Ronnie analyze how the demand for apologies or reconciliatory moments often goes off the rails because of rigid expectations about how apologies "should" be delivered.
• Jesse’s Antics and the Men Escalating Drama (46:03–47:36)
  • Lacey repeatedly tells Jesse to stop "defending" her by yelling at women. Ronnie appreciates her boundary-setting:
    • Ronnie (46:57): "It's nice to hear somebody be like, hey, maybe like, let's not yell at women at a restaurant, you weirdo."
  • The hosts examine the cyclical nature of these confrontations and how past drama keeps getting rehashed.

6. Memorable Quotes & Observations

• Ronnie, on group drama:
  "What is he even doing here? We have to watch someone else abuse their wife on TV? You already put us through Jax..." (08:07)
• Ben, on Janet’s vindication:
  "There's some, like, a little bit of vindication for Janet on this..." (06:00)
• Ben, on Luke:
  "You need to be at that 90 right now because she cannot be there." (24:50)
• Ronnie, on Danny:
  "Drunkenly unleashing your true emotions is probably what's gonna get you labeled as an alcoholic, sir." (32:51)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• Danny and Nia’s podcast insights: 03:05–08:07
• Danny called out by Lala & group: 12:05–12:48; 29:56–30:53
• Kristen & Luke's failed communication: 15:38–26:32
• Lacey confronts Janet re: 'mean girl' vibe & legal threats: 33:00–41:17
• Jesse and Lacey's dinner blowup: 46:03–47:36

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Notable Moments

• Ben and Ronnie continuously roast Danny for his "respect/love" logic and refusal to see his own contribution to marital breakdowns.
• Ronnie expresses surprise at rooting for both Janet and Lala for perhaps the first time ever, highlighting how far the villain edit has shifted.
• Awkward comedic highlight: Lala’s wedding toast joke: "Once you find love and choose to get married, you know that it's gonna...end." (28:09)
• Lacey shutting down Jesse’s butting in during an argument, asserting autonomy over her own drama, is recognized as a rare moment of healthy boundary-setting in the mix.
• Ben’s reflection on the timing of the drama—much fresher for cast than for viewers—adds meta-insight into reality TV storytelling mechanics.

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Tone and Style

• Sarcastic, irreverent, yet pointedly incisive: The hosts lean heavily into not just poking fun but also offering sharp critiques of unhealthy relationship dynamics.
• Gleeful when the show "lets bad people expose themselves," with a side of resigned frustration at Bravo’s penchant for centering unsympathetic men.
• Self-aware about how shifting alliances ("rooting for Lala and Janet!") tracks the chaos of a Bravo season.

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Conclusion

This episode is a wild ride through the group’s dysfunction, shining a spotlight on emotional labor, gender dynamics, and how Bravo personalities often unravel under pressure. Ben and Ronnie’s critiques are as much about relationship expectations as they are about the spectacle of televised drama—leaving listeners both entertained and a little shell-shocked by the rawness of what plays out on "The Valley."

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Healthcare just got less painful. Well hello and welcome to Watch a Crapp ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

[B]

Well hello, how are you?

[A]

Doing fabulously well. We are only a few weeks away from our big cabaret debut in New York City. It's sold out but you can stream it. Check out the links on our social media or our website watchcrapids.com give us a follow while you're hanging out with our social media too because why not if you want to stream the dates are June 3rd and June 5th and there going to be two shows on June 5th. So come join us virtually for that. It's going to be a lot of fun and a wild silly experience. Also join us on Patreon patreon.com watchmorecrapens where you get access to our bonus episode. This week we did a trailer trash of the big B Dynasty, the worst show on Bravo. But we had a lot of fun making fun of it and so that was really fun to do this week. And then we also have ad free listening there weekly newsletter video, all the great stuff that you could ever want and dream of for the full watch of Robins experience. It's over there. So that is everything there. And today we have a super sized episode of the Valley where the adventures down in San Diego continue. We have fighting. We have more fighting. We have. We have our. I think we have our official villain for season three now, right? Danny is the official for life.

[B]

That guy for life. That guy lie. Danny for life. What a monster. What a horrible human being. And then making it even worse.

[A]

He.

[B]

You know, Nia has a podcast. I didn't even know that. It's called Hold My Crown. And it's called. I'm reading this from Vanderpod. Recaps. It's the most honest we've ever been about our marriage episode. This interview. I mean, it's not an interview. It's her and Danny talking about their marriage, and it just disgusted me and enraged me even more. More. I sent it to you, Ben, so you can see it as well.

[A]

Yeah, I'm looking at it right now.

[B]

It is really bad. You know, this is Nia, like, well, Danny's not really a bad guy. Like, trying to give Danny a chance to kind of redeem himself, and he just is worse and worse. They're talking, oh. So no one knows what it's like having kids, you know, and then that changes. And, you know, we used to have so much freedom before kids, and we would go traveling and we would do all of this stuff, and, oh, he's just so successful and so busy, and they would travel all over the place, and he's like, yeah, we can make love whenever we want it. Shut up, Danny. And then he's like, yeah, you couldn't keep your hands off me, right, babe? And she. Honey. So then we had kids. Yeah, that's how kids are made. And now the house feels like it's a military operation. So she says, I do want to be kind of Ron. Really vulnerable right now. A few months ago, we had a conversation that was started by you. And one of the first things that was said in the conversation was, our marriage really sucks right now. And it makes me cry. Like, I don't want to think about it because we're going through a rougher patch, and we feel like we're in. In the thick of it with the baby being so little, blah, blah, blah. We're just not communicating, and communications is our foundation, and that's what we return to. And he's like, there was tension, there was resentment, and. Yeah, there was resentment building. And I had needed to put my foot down and say, enough is enough. Well, you know, of the way we were both being. Daniel. Yeah. Correct. Because it sounds like you're saying you put your foot down, like, but you needed. You know, you need to stop it. Enough. No, no, I'm not saying that. But it was both of us fully, though. Yeah. It takes two. So it was like, this sucks right now. Yeah, it was really window of time we were going through it. I know this sounds boring, but trust me, it's it's enraging. She's like, I'm really glad you started that conversation. And then I said, yeah, our marriage sucks right now. So we discussed it, you know, and they're talking about how this happens to a lot of couples, blah, blah, blah. And then he says it makes you feel crazy because men want to feel respected. And when women want to feel loved and if one's not, that resentment starts to build and she's not feeling loved, she's not going to respect. And if he's not feeling respected, he's not going to want to show love. And this cycle just continues to go and go. Are we in the 1800s? Both of you don't want to feel respected and loved. Only one of you, you only need. All men need is respect. Non stop respect all the time. Danny, you're not earning respect, you piece of crap. This guy.

[A]

I don't know if there's much that Danny has done over the past two seasons, this season and last season, that has said this is a guy who deserves a huge amount of respect, quite frankly. And I'm glad that this is finally coming to the fore because I always suspected this was going on. I always felt like when they would top mention Dark side Danny, they sort of would mention it in this sort of, like, funny way. Oh, dark side Danny. I'm like, it's not Dark side Danny. It's Dark Danny. It's not just like, it's this funny side that comes out. It's him. It's part of him. It's who he is. And it just sort of got kind of brushed under the rug. But, like, now I feel like it's on full display and I love that it's getting called out because it should because he acted totally, like, inappropriately today, inappropriately last episode and sounds like inappropriately many other things that we didn't see. But I, I think that like, and honestly, like, I know people don't want to hear it. Like, I know people, everyone's like, oh, Janet sucks. Janet sucks. But if this, if you've seen this, this Dark side Danny, if this is a Danny you've seen Witness and then you're in a. You're. He walks in and he's trying to get tequila in the closet of the pantry and then close the door. I would also be like, oh, God, get me out of here. I don't want to be in here with this guy. Quite frankly, like, I think honestly, like, there's some, like, a little bit of vindication for Janet on this Well, I

[B]

think Janet can still suck and Danny still suck. I mean, me. Me thinking Danny sucks. It doesn't mean Janet doesn't suc. He goes on and says, for us, putting God first and then putting each other first. And when you say the healthy cycle is when you're showing these things. And the big word here is unconditional. So I'm going to love you unconditionally and you're going to show me respect unconditionally. And that's, you know, if I deserve it or not, or if you deserve it or not. What the fuck? He goes, and that's the mind blowing thing. It's saying she's not showing me respect right now. I feel like she doesn't deserve for me to show her love or do this for her. And we talk about love languages. This guy, I want to kill this person after reading this. And she says, you know, and this. This doesn't mean that you stay in a toxic relationship or you stay in any type of abuse. And he goes, physical. And she goes, no, emotional and mental. I mean, this guy, like, okay, yeah, as long as I don't physically abuse you. This guy sucks.

[A]

This guy sucks.

[B]

Oh, my God. You know, the dark side Danny, I stuff, I always figured, okay, this, you know, this is. This little guy probably gets really drunk and acts like an idiot. And that's dark side Danny. That's what they're talking about. I didn't know it was like, emotionally abusing his wife. I didn't get a whiff of that. I mean, I didn't. So I feel really stupid because I'm super judgmental and I like to pick this stuff out. And I didn't. I just figured he's an obnoxious little idiot drunk, you know, which isn't great. That's still not great. But I just. I mean, I don't know. To me, it felt more innocent than, like, being like this to your wife. For sure. And the stuff that happened with Janet and. Or Jasmine and Michelle was never in question. That was always completely shitty and terrible. We've never stood up for that, you know, But I had no idea it was this bad. And now that we do know it's this bad, I'm like, well, what. What is he even doing here? We have to watch someone else abuse their wife on tv. You guys already put us through Jacks. Now we have to watch this guy abuse his wife. And has he been like this the whole time and you guys just haven't been showing it on camera? Because what the is with this show.

[A]

Well, I didn't like that. I was on. On. Someone tweeted out something like, you know, it's like, I can understand it because you go on vacation and you want to be away from your kids. You want to blow off steam, and you think that's what you get to do, but then you're still taking care of the kids and someone. And then Kristen Doty was like, exactly. He's a good guy. He just had a bad moment. I was like, it would have been a bad moment if, like, he could have maybe gotten away with the bad moment. Excuse me. If the day after they went to the amusement park, he woke up and he was chill and happy and fun, and it was that. And it's like, okay, he was just really, really cranky. And being a huge dick at the amusement park, I would not have let him off the hook, but at least he would have had that. But then it's two days in a row that you're gonna act super, super cranky and, like. And be a dick that is no longer like, oh, it's a bad moment. This is actually. The mask has fallen, and we're seeing who you really are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you just got beaten down by exhaustion because you have four. Four under four. And now we see the true Danny. That's. That's really what this all is. And for him to even go on to. Onto the podcast and say. Essentially say that he's not getting enough respect, and therefore he can't show love. It's like, all we've seen has been Nia do everything for this guy. Everything has been about protecting him. Everything is about, like, well, I think Daniels just needs, like, a nap, you know, like, she's always smoothing things over. The whole thing with. The whole reason why Janet really fell out with the group is because Janet at that lunch was like, hey, if the situation's bad, I've been there before. And Neil's like, why the. Why are you talking about my man that way? Why would you even say anything about my man and alcoholism? D d d why would you say that? And I was like, yeah, Janet. And that was truly where there was the big rift with Janet. And she became. She became an outsider at that moment. It was because Nia was really, really taking up for Danny. And so for Danny to act like he doesn't get respect is so wild, and that's so crazy. And, like, I guarantee the. The shortfall of love that Nia receives is. Is 10 times larger than what he. The. The shortfall of respect that he's feeling, he's getting.

[B]

Yeah. This guy's just a piece of crap. I mean, this and Kristen. One thing Kristen is always going to do is stand up for a terrible man. She's always done it. I don't know why anybody's surprised. That's Kristen, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, hello. She's been on TV a long time. She's always gonna stand up for a terrible man. Oh, it's just so depressing. Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. But it felt great. I know. I loved it. I love having. I love having, like, the awful people, like, come to the fore on this show. And it was great because we also got some Michelle and Lacey going on, like. And honestly, like, we have this great

[B]

moment, but this isn't fun. This is like watching someone abuse their wife. And this was. This was just terrible. I just. Well, and I mean, thank God for Lala. And, like, who ever thought I would say that, you know?

[A]

Well, because Lala, when she uses her powers for good, she's quite effective like that. She. The reason why she's with us is because she always used her Lalanness against the mean girls and people who are mean. And then when she doesn't have anyone to sort of aim it towards properly, she just sort of flounders and then can be really annoying. But I was like, Lala going off on Danny at the end of the episode was fantastic. I loved it because she's like, you do not get to play that with me. And the fact that he, for a moment, he thought he could even try to take on Lala when Lala has, like, grown up in the world of Vanderpump rules and, like, this is what she lives for are these sort of confrontations. Oh, my God, what a fool he is.

[B]

Yep. Yeah. So that was great. And it was crazy. It was crazy to be in a position where I'm like, fully rooting for Lala again. I mean, it's been years since that's happened. So you never know where TV is going to take you, that's for sure. You never know where Bravo specifically is going to take you, that is for sure. So let's get into it, shall we? This is the Valley, Season 3, Episode 7, Triggers and Tiaras.

[A]

Yeah. So we're still at that. Yeah, well, because they say Trigger a million times this episode.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

So

[A]

we're still at this amusement park, Belmont park in San Diego, and Michelle and Lala have just had actually a really nice conversation about death. And now they're all gonna be heading to dinner at a local bar. So Jesse is, he's really enjoying, he's really enjoying that. That their house. He's telling Lacy that the house has like a petting zoo. He's like, yeah, it's really nice. There's llamas and goats and a donkey and a gym. You're not paying attention, are you? She's like, what? No, I, I really don't care anything about what you have to say.

[B]

She hates it.

[A]

She's just so over him.

[B]

Lacey does not like this guy at all. It's so funny.

[A]

No.

[B]

And he's just watching him try his nice guy act, like, wow, I love llamas. She's like, shut up. God. So they go to dinner, and Danny rides Tom piggyback. He's like, hey, mister, Everybody's so performative. Hey, wanna have fun? Let me ride your bag, buddy. Everybody.

[A]

Yeah, because this is all he wants to do is just bro out and be silly, right? So Kristen is telling Luke, like, she doesn't feel great. And so he goes, well, I can't be in your body. Which, by the way, why do you. Why is that your response? How about you say, oh, what's wrong? Well, not like, I can't be in your body. So then can we just turn this

[B]

into a housewives type show and get rid of all the men, like, for Jesus.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Like, what are we doing? So he's disgusting too. And Brittany's like, where are we going?

[A]

What's it called?

[B]

Oh, I say, it is called Triumph. What is this, a bar? This is a sports bar. So Britney's, like, right at home, you know?

[A]

Yes. They all gather around this. This whole seating arrangement. And the way it works out is that Michelle has to sit directly across from Lacy, which is really not what she wants. So she's like, of course I'm sitting right across from lazy. So then she moves, and Lacey's like, okay, cool. Love to see that. Great. She's like, I'm hoping in the future Michelle and I can just get to a place of mutual respect. But the way that her and her friends treated me last summer was truly the worst way I've ever been treated. But Janet specifically, I just, like, don't vibe with her. She does things that are so sneaky mean. It's truly, like, diabolical.

[B]

So then Janet's like, schwartz, have a Belmont park ipa. You should do it. So just making small talk and. And ordering it. Danny's like, oh. Oh, you're good friend. You're best friends with Janet. Wow. Jeso Peach. Wow. Everybody just loves Janet. Shut up, Danny. Shut up, you drunk ass. God, I hate Danny. I can't believe this. In one episode. Now I'm rooting for Janet and Lala.

[A]

What the hell? Yeah, it's weird. So then Chris, like, Kristen tells Luke, like, I don't feel like I want to stay here. I think I'm done. He's like, so you Want me to call. Call an Uber? Do you want. Do you want me to go with you, or do you want me to bring you food? Like, what do you want to do? It's like, you can say. You can say it's okay. I just. I don't want to do shots. I don't want to be Negative Nancy. It's like, well, Kristen, if it's any consolation, you have been Negative Nancy for many, many years now. So that's okay. Everyone's used to it.

[B]

By the way, Lou, you know, your wife is doing shitty. You know, she's in adult diapers and she wants to go home, and you're like, yeah, can I stay and party? What a loser. What a loser. While he's wearing. I think this is a scene where he's wearing their engagement shirt with their picture plastered on the front of it.

[A]

It's like, you look at us, this

[B]

romantic picture of us. He's like, okay, you go home. I'll still party. It's not like I can. I. I can't feel how you feel. We don't need your empathy, you dick. You need to have sympathy here. It's not empathy. No one is expecting you to know what it's like to have just had a baby and be postpartum and be bleeding and having to wear diapers, but, you know, you have sympathy, and you're like, wow, you know what? I love you, and this does suck for you, and let's just get some food to go and go home and watch some Netflix together, you douche.

[A]

I actually think that if you just said, okay, I'll go with you. She already said you can stay, but I think it's kind of like, let her be the one to say, no, no, no, you.

[B]

You stay.

[A]

Don't worry. I just want to lie down. I'm just not feeling well. It's okay. I don't need to be babysat. It's totally fine. But he's like, should I stay? Should I say, should I stay? He's really just so beyond terrible at this. And I just. I actually feel so bad for Kristen because I think what sucks is that, you know, she clearly needs time to heal. She obviously, like, physically heal. She's also going through postpartum, and I think that she probably. If she had her druthers, she would not have been, like, come right back on camera. Like, she could. She just take her time to get through this, and. But she has to, like, this is her job, and so she has to, like, show up when she's like, Feeling miserable. When she's, like, physically, like, going through it, it, like, it sucks. This sucks so much. And then you have this husband who is saying things like, but what about me? I didn't get to go fishing. It's like, oh, it's awful.

[B]

Yeah. He's still worried that he's not going to get to party with everybody. That's like, his biggest worry. And it's the same with Danny. Danny's doing the same thing, you know, so to have them both doing it in the same episode is like, yikes. And so he's like, well, I mean, if you feel like you feel, you know, and the fact that you gave birth to our daughter and what you're going through right now, she's like, are you just saying this because you have a microphone on? He's like, no, why would I just say that? So she's like, yeah, I want to be in bed. This sucks. So Nia's telling Danny, like, is there tension? Is Luke said anything to you and looks like, yeah, you know, if you need to go lay in bed, you know, because what your body is pushing out of you, then you should do that. You know, I'm not going to tell you what you should do. I'm not in your body. She's like, it sounds like you're giving me. He's like, but I'm not. She goes, but you're saying I'm not in your body. He's like, I'm just telling you, like, there's only so much I can empathize with because I can't physically experience what you're experiencing. That's all I'm saying.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, you can. You can, but you know what it's like to be uncomfortable and unwell. It's not that hard.

[B]

You don't have to feel the same thing to know how to react when someone is feeling that way and that person is your personal partner, and they're feeling that way because they just pushed out your baby. And you don't have to do in the world because you're on her TV show trying to party with her friends with all the money you're making because of her, you loser. Get your zucchini sticks and go back to the Airbnb.

[A]

I think that, like, maybe the language he should, he's maybe striving for is like, I wish I could help you more. I, I, I'll never truly be able to understand how you are feeling because that's just like a physiological never. And I just, I just want to be there for you because I can't understand something like that. But not like, I don't know what it's like to be in your body. It's just so. It's so rude just because it just feels like you're crazy. Like, what do you expect me to do? I don't know what to do. Like, you have to explain it. Use your words. So Luke is like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just. I didn't mean it that way. I'm just like, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. So Kristen talks about how postpartum has been really hard on her and how she feels really distant from Luke and how Luke is just never gonna understand what it's like to be in her shoes. So then Nia goes to check in on Luke and Kristen because she senses and she can empathize more. And she also knows how to empathize, unlike Luke. And Kristen's like, it's just making me this, like, big deal. It's like, make me so uncomfortable. And, like, why can't my fans just be like, listen, if you don't feel, go home. Like, I don't like it. I can't physically be in your body. Why are you saying that? Why are you saying that? So then Zach goes up, and now Kristen's, like, embarrassed because now it's turning into a thing. She just wanted to privately leave. And now. Now Zach is there, be like, what's. What's going on? What's happening over here? Yeah.

[B]

And she's like, why is everybody coming up to me? Well, you are standing right at the table. She walks two feet from the table. So why is everybody coming up to me? So Jasmine's like, yeah, postpartum is real. Jeez. And so he's like, sorry, sorry. My God. Sorry. I just don't want it to be this big thing. Oh, my God. So then Britney comes up. So you're okay. Oh, my God. Just leave me alone.

[A]

So I thought you were looking at me. No one was looking at you, Brittany. No one was. She just wants to be meddlesome.

[B]

If people were looking at you, they're looking at you. Like, what's wrong with that person? Why is she smiling like that? Is that person talking to a cheese stick?

[A]

So Britney is. Goes back to the table. So she doesn't want anybody talking about it. I think that's what she's saying. So then Luke is, like, trying to reassure. He's like, you'll be so much more comfortable soon, especially once I go fishing. She's like, no, I don't think you actually get it. I really sucks. I just want to go to bed. So now Luke tells us my relationship with Kristen is, like, not in an ideal place. I feel like I'm her verbal punching bag. I just wish there was a mutual understanding that we're both figuring this out. And, pardon me, believes this is a very. This is very normal for new parents. And there's another part of me that believes that this is insanity. No, the problem is she's lashing out because you are not being supportive, and you keep on making this about you. You know, people have told me before that something that I think is really a good thing, which is that sometimes in a relationship, you know, sometimes you want to be 50, 50 in a relationship. But sometimes someone can only give 10%, and when they can only give 10%, you step up and you give the other 90%, regardless of what's going on. And that's what Luke has to do here. But he's still kind of stuck on the 50%. He's very much in this mindset of, like, yeah, I know you're going through it, but I have my needs, too. It's like, this is not a 50 moment. This is. And it may be tough on you, but you need to be at that 90 right now, because she cannot be there.

[B]

He's not even giving 50, though. That's what's killing me. Like, if. If your wife is like, I feel like I need to go do. Is that okay? First of all, even asking is crazy. Like, you shouldn't have to do. You shouldn't have to feel that you need to do that with your partner. But then for him to be like, well, I just don't know how to feel in your body. I mean, I don't know if you should go. I mean, if you want to go, go. I'm not going to tell you to go. I'm not going to tell you. No. You say, yeah, you don't feel well. Let's go outside. And you go outside with them and you call the car or do whatever you have to do. You don't make them sit there and stand at a table and argue with you about it for another 10 minutes. Yeah. Honestly, not about your feelings. And you didn't even do 50% of the work to get that baby out. Like, blowing your load in somebody is not doing half the work. She carried that thing for nine. She put it out through her body. Now she's bleeding. Now she's got it latched to her you know, sucking the life out of her. She's doing everything. You're not doing 50% of anything.

[A]

And you want to hang around for what? To watch Lacy and Janet hash things out? That's really all that's left here for this. Jesus, you've had a whole day out with everyone, by the way. You've had a whole day out. Yeah, I think he's just being really selfish, self centered.

[B]

So he sends her back and returns to dinner and they're like, what happened? He's like, well, she's already in the car. I don't know. I think it's physical.

[A]

But also, by the way, again, I also do believe, like, Kristen is an adult. And if Kristen says you stay, I'm just gonna go back like, you. You don't have to, like, then make this a moment to patronize her and pretend, like, do all this fake stuff of like, like, are you sure? But I want to. It's like, just say, like, okay. Or either you go with her and like, okay, I'm just gonna come with you because I want to come with you. Or you say, okay, I will meet you later tonight. I love you. Let me know if you need anything and I'll come straight home. But not the. Are you sure? Because I don't know what it's like to be in your body. It's like, ugh, like, it's too much.

[B]

So now they try to lighten the mood. And Jasmine's like, oh, Michelle, how would you feel if Jesse was like an officiate at our wedding? And Melissa's like, yeah, that's not gonna happen. Whatever makes you happy. Whatever makes you happy is fine by me. Unless he's like, you guys are not letting him officiate your wedding.

[A]

Yeah. Jesse's like, of course they are. Melissa goes, okay, then off the top of your dome, do some officiating right now. So he's like, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us today. Please be seated. Okay. Doing so. Doing well so far. I think I am here in New Jersey to celebrate the love of two women that I've grown so close to over the. And what does love mean to us? Love is.

[B]

Oh, my God. Are you gonna give a dictionary definition? Like, what is this? A dictionary?

[A]

It's my audition. Yeah, of course I'm doing it this. This way.

[B]

Come on, try harder. So Lala's like, can I get my auditions? Okay, here's mine. Once you find love and choose to get married, you know that it's gonna

[A]

end like, wait a second.

[B]

Lala you eat a big gross Harvey Weinstein B level man's butt out and you think it's gonna last forever. Well, guess what? It doesn't. So good luck with that. But thankfully you're lesbians and lesbians stay together forever.

[A]

Yeah, that's. I thought that was actually pretty funny. Just like you're connected for life. You're like two condors. So then Danny and Tom have a cheers and like Danny has this really intense moment. He's like shalud, geez. No eye contact. You didn't make the eye contact? Never again. You gotta make the eye contact. And I'm like, is this, I'm not gonna give Danny any, any sort of inch here. But like, does he just have terrible joke banter? Is this, is this is out that he like doesn't know how to be bantery without sounding actually really intense and evil. Because like why are you getting so mad about the eye contact on a toast? Like normally it's like, hey, you gotta make eye contact. Not like you didn't make the eye contact. Now I'm gonna have seven years of bad sex. How could you do this to me, bro?

[B]

Oh, you didn't make eye contact. Now I have to take another shot while you do it right? So Tom's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now you can't look away. And he's like eye contact with the tears stay. He's like, okay. God, I thought we were finish finishing. Okay, we're not in college anymore. We can't. We don't need to do all these shots. Just because we're dating college aged women doesn't mean we're still in college.

[A]

So Lala's like, I heard that Danny when he drinks just to one mini and he becomes very obnoxious and loud and super annoying and like I hear someone super annoying and loud and noxious and it's like, oh, it's Danny. So I do that. I do know with myself. One too many and aggression starts to happen. So I'm watching Danny like a hawk and I gotta be on guards.

[B]

Yeah. So Danny's just drunk and being obnoxious. He's like, yeah, you're not eating those things. Bring them over here. Look me in the eyes. I don't focus on any negativity. No negativity for me. Okay, so wow. Don't. Don't want to say anything negative or someone might call me an alcoholic. Don't want that. Oh my God, Danny, you're drunk. You. Jeez, Janice having. Janet's having a much deserved. I will add by the way. Told you so. All over her face.

[A]

Yeah, it's a great lesson to Janet that sometimes you let people fall into their own messes. You don't have to be the one. The more you scream it, the less people are. Are likely to listen to you. Just let people just. Just fall into their own messes. So Danny's. Then Michelle yawns, and Danny's like, hey, Michelle. Michelle, don't yawn. Don't want you to be labeled as an alcoholic if you fall asleep. Like, yeah, this is not really helping.

[B]

Yeah, it wasn't sleeping that got you labeled an alcoholic, Danny. Well, I guess it was at that. At that Santa Barbara trip because he took a nap, and they're like, oh, my God, Danny's asleep. Why is Danny asleep? I find it very offensive that Danny's. He's asleep. I forgot to close a fight.

[A]

Yeah, no, that was the big thing. But, like, here. I don't know.

[B]

I.

[A]

We are. We've all been around drunk people, and we always know when there's one person who gets overserved and they pass out versus the person who is drinking in a way where you're like, this person doesn't. Is not drinking in the way the way the rest of us are drinking. And of course, he's passed out right now because he went too hard. He was out of. He was not. Not pacing himself properly because he was going too hard. So, like, he's acting like, oh, I just took a nap. It's like, no, everyone picked up on something here, Danny. Everyone picked up on it enough that Nia had to be like, guys, he's just napping. Everything's okay. Everything's okay. Like, we're adults. We know these things. People pick up on stuff.

[B]

He's just so stupid, too. I mean, here you are. You. You come off this season where I guess he felt like he was a hero because the audience stood up for him against Janet because Janet was so unbearable that now he's just like, oh, so now I'm just gonna get wasted and just. With Janet and like. Like, verbally. Dare I say, start verbally accosting somebody across the table. Like, now he's good. And they're like, oh, God, he's starting. She's like, well, I'm just ignoring it. I love this. This is such a fun day. He's like, I just don't want her to be labeled. That's all. And so everybody's like, oh, God, let's just go.

[A]

This guy, you know, drunkenly unleashing your true Emotions is. Is probably what's gonna get you labeled as an alcoholic, sir. Yeah.

[B]

So Jesse's like, janet, can you guys stay back and have a quick conversation with Lacy and me? And she's like, oh, God. Okay. So Janet's like, well, I noticed you blocked me, so I didn't want to, like, intrude if there's a boundary there.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So if there's anything that you want to talk to me about, I'm here. It's me, Janet, by the way, love skee ball or anything that I can win tickets at. I'm fun. Okay, go ahead.

[A]

I've created a metaphorical ball pit between us, and I just want you to know it's a safe space. So Lacey goes, well, the thing is, I don't personally like the gang up, like, mean girl bully thing, and Michelle's point of view on me is warranted because they were married, so she's allowed to be an evil because they're going through a hard time. But the way you treat me is, like, so uncool. Like, you went on national television and told the world I was threatening to sue you.

[B]

Well, you said you were gonna send everyone cease and desists, so.

[A]

No, I never said that to you. I said. I. I only said that to Michelle, that I was gonna send it to everyone. Not to you, though.

[B]

Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, I never said that. Well, I don't have a mean girl gang up mentality. Okay, I did not like that you sent Michelle legal a legal letter, and that's the only problem I've ever had with you.

[A]

Okay, Yeah, I. I don't have a mean girl gang up mentality, but if you need me between the hours of 10pm and 11pm I will be in a room on a Barca lounger making fun of you with the other girls. Okay, thank you so much.

[B]

But, like, my wish is that, like I told you, you hurt my feelings, and then you would be like, I'm sorry I treated you unfairly because I'm a ride or die for my friend, and you don't deserve that. That. But instead, you're making excuses like, you shouldn't have sent a legal letter. Okay, but you don't get to tell people how they respond to you. Yeah, either Lacey. And I'm actually team Lacey, for the

[A]

most part on this, but you.

[B]

I know she does that a lot where she's like, here's what you need to say. I say this, and then you say this. That's not.

[A]

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[A]

I did forget that they did go on TV last year and accuse her of sleeping with someone from Baywatch and so I I that is is unsettling if that is a false accusation. That's, like, really unsettling. But that was Sheena. That was Sheena and Michelle, and she still was like, I'm going to. I'm going to threaten. Cease and desist. I think that, like, everyone has the right to be annoyed that she is this. This person who's off camera who suddenly has been, like, thrust into Isabella's life way before she was supposed to be and now is suddenly making these. Like, Isabel is. Is doing these moves of, like, I'm going to send cease and desist. It's so. It was so extra and over the top. I think, like, Janet and all the others had a right to be like, this is ridiculous, and she should rot in hell for sending me a cease and desist, even though now things have cooled off.

[B]

Well, I mean, look, I think Jesse's going back and telling Lacy, oh, my God, now these girls are saying that you're sleeping with this person, and now they're saying, you know, you're probably an unfit mother or whatever other was going on, you know, because they're sitting around like this crazy. And this girl, she's sleeping with some Baywatch guy, and she's around my daughter. And so God knows what Jesse was telling her. And she's like, tell them to stop talking about me on national tv. I don't want this up my reputation. I've got little kids. Like, I'm divorced, too. I don't need this. And he's like, oh, now they did this. And so she was like, please stop talking about me or I'm gonna send a cease and desist. But, like, to me, that sounds totally rational. On the other hand, I totally believe

[A]

that Jesse was fanning the flames. I believe Jesse was pitting Lacey and Michelle against each other. I don't. I just don't know in what world, like, sending a cease and desist to people who are on reality TV and filming is going to be, like, something that's going to lower the temperature on something that you don't want to become a thing. So, like, to the point where now it's come up again a season later, and it's like, oh, yeah, there was that thing with Lacy in this thing. Like, it. It is. It exacerbates it massively. And I think Lacy is smart, actually, and I think that she. She should know that she. She seems to have a lot of ideas of how people should react to things. Well, this is my. This is me weighing in with how she should have reacted to something. And I don't think that was the way to do it.

[B]

So Janet's like, well, I mean, if you. All you were upset about is that I said you threatened legal action. And she's like, well, I'm upset from the day I met you, from how you treated me and said, oh, gosh, you're Lacy. I saw on Reddit that you auditioned for housewife like, 17 times, and you were laughing. And then, I mean, I even have a message from you apologizing Janet. And so the producer asks her if, well, by the way, you have a message from her apologizing, so there's something in her favor. So the producer asks if she's ever auditioned for Orange County. And she's like, yeah, but that's not my issue. My issue is when I met Janet, the first thing she said to me is how she was Googling me and doing a background check, and then she went on a deep dive on me on Reddit, because that's weird and inappropriate.

[A]

I personally think sending, like, threatening to send, like, a cease and desist is worse than someone saying, I looked you up on Reddit. Like, I don't know. I just. I just.

[B]

Well, she's not sending this. I mean, yeah, okay, I'll risk. I mean, I respect your opinion. I just think that she's sending a cease and desist because she's hearing about stuff they're saying about her on tv. It's not like it's coming out of nowhere.

[A]

You know, she's just like, well, but she. But she said that. Like, I don't know. I just. I feel like she's. She's acting like, wow, Janet, that was so extra that you looked something up on Reddit about me. Like, that's so extra. But, like, but you sent a cease and desist. That's extra, too. Like, you, like. Like, it's all extra. Like, you can't act like you're not doing extra things as well in this situation.

[B]

So Lacey's like, but am I lying? Janet's like, well, I don't think that was it exactly, but sure, okay, if that. If that came off offensive to you, I'm sorry. Okay, well, first, you don't. First of all, you don't audition for Housewives. But you were laughing about it. Like, you should be like, yeah, I said that. It was a bad joke. It was in poor taste. That's what you should have said.

[A]

Yeah, why was it in poor taste to laugh about auditioning for the Housewives? I think that's actually an. Good taste to laugh about that. So Janet is Like, okay, you know what? I just want to have a fun weekend, and I'm really happy that you guys are here, and I hope you guys have a fun weekend. So Jesse's like, this is the type of apology that everyone hates you for. And Jason's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the type of apology? What? What? What? She's like, because Lacey's like, because it's not an apology. And John goes, well, I guess you guys don't mean that much to me, so it's not worth my time.

[B]

Yeah. So she gets up and leaves. I mean, I will say it's weird for Lacy to be trying to start some kind of on camera fight with the ladies. Like, you're with a guy who was divorcing somebody. Of course she's gonna, like, get with all the girls and be like, that girl. I mean, it seems weird, like, a year later, if you're gonna try and come into this group to be like, I didn't like that you didn't like that I was with Jesse, you know, or how you reacted when you first met me. It does seem a little much of a.

[A]

And also, like. And she's like, the way you guys treated me last year was horrible. And I want an apology that's like, yeah, I mean, it was, you know, like, yeah, it's. It's shitty if they're going on TV and accusing you of sleeping with someone and you have, like, no recourse or whatever. But then also, like, it was like one small, like, like minor chapter in the front of the season. It wasn't like this thing that got dragged on the entire way, and there's all. I don't know, there's just like something weird here that I just don't. I just don't trust. That I don't trust it. Says, like, she. She refused to come on camera last season, and all of a sudden she's on camera this season. She's like, doesn't want to be in filming and yet shows up to the season finale. There's something like that is like, I. I can't articulate what it is, but.

[B]

Well, here's one way to articulate it, and it's that she's already. She's putting it on camera herself, which is. I've auditioned for Orange County God knows how many times. I didn't get that. And now I'm dating some guy I clearly don't even like that happens to be on another show on Bravo. So it's like, okay, like, we see why you're here. But, you know, I think if we're just taking this at face value, like, okay, she's someone trying to come into the group. Coming in and starting a fight isn't the best way. I mean, I would say, like, come in and be like, hey, look, I know we had a rough start, and it was super weird how I've kind of been brought in, but I'm here, so it would be nice if we could, like, try to get along.

[A]

It's more like, let's move forward. I want to just, like, forget everything from last year would have been the right vibe, because I actually, believe it or not, I don't really dislike Lacey, but I just think. I don't know, like, there's, like, a lot of red tape around her, and I think she's acting like there's not. There's, like. She's acting like she was just this easygoing person who got. Who got dragged into this mess. And I feel like there's more to more than meets the eye. But I had coffee today, and I'm really having a hard time articulating my. My feelings on this matter.

[B]

That makes sense. That makes sense what you're saying. You just don't know. We don't know yet. We don't have enough evidence, you know? I mean, I like her okay so far, but.

[A]

Yeah, I think she's actually way better than I thought she would be, to be honest. But I just think. I don't know. Demanding this apology just feels it should just be a. I know things were. I know things were said last year, and I think it was because we were both standing up for what we thought was right, but let's just, like, move forward. We don't need to have this tension between us.

[B]

Yeah. It feels very much like I'm new and I'm gonna come for the villain. You know, I'm gonna have a. I'm gonna have a fight on tv, and it's like, just calm down there. You just got here, you know? So Janet leaves, and she's like, well, I've met Lacy a couple of times, and the fact that you. She thinks I'm digging up information is interesting because everything I know about her, she's come out and told me. Now, do I know the square footage of her house and have interior shots of it? Yes. I love Zillow. Okay. Do I have a tax returns? I sure do. But, I mean, it's just all public information because, you know, Janet probably does have all of that stuff. All of that. And Jason's like, wait, wait, Janet, stay for a minute, Janet. And Jesse's like. And there she goes. This is what she does. She did this in Santa Barbara. Barbara. When I brought up Lacy. And Lacy's like, don't yell at her, Jesse. And he's like, oh, no. It's a Janet thing. That's what Janet does. And she's like, do not yell at her. Don't take my battle, Jesse. This is my scene on tv.

[A]

Yeah. She's like, this is my moment. But also, she knows that Jesse ruins everything. And she's, like, trying to actually have, like, some sort of breakthrough or whatever. And so Jesse just starts clapping. And Lace, like, stop clapping. Don't clap down. And Jason's like, what are you. What's going on? This is, like, too far, you guys. This is too far. Just like you guys. So then Jess is like, yeah, better walk away. She always walks away. And so Lacey's like, don't yell over me. This is my scene. Stop it.

[B]

Yeah, Jesse. So she's like. He's like, she always walks away from a battle. It's not your battle, dude. Go away. And Jason's like, what's your problem? Lacey says, can you just stop talking, Jesse, Okay? I'm gonna get upset with you. And this is kind of why I like Lacy. It's nice to hear somebody be like, hey, maybe, like, let's not yell at women at a restaurant, you weirdo. The hell? Yeah, Especially, like, for me, quote unquote.

[A]

Yeah, well, yeah, exactly. Like, I don't need you to. To be, like, my knight in shining armor, especially when I'm earning all the money in our relationship. So Jess is like, well, don't be my. See, he's like, be my teammate. Like, don't, like, stop me and say that. And she's like, well, because I don't appreciate you yelling at me in my ear because, well, but. Because Janet does the same thing every single time. Janet can just be like. Can't just be like, you're right. I forgot I wrote that to you. I'm sorry. She instead tries to manipulate the situation and then jumps up and storms away. It's like, sit down. Take your medicine. Just grow up. Just like. Just. This drives me nuts. But the thing is, like, how many times has Jesse not sat down and taken his medicine and not grown up?

[B]

But she didn't. She also didn't try to admit. I mean, I hate standing up. I really do not like this position. But I'm gonna stand up for Janet because she didn't try to Manipulate anything. She just said, okay, sorry. And then.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when you didn't like that, she was like, well, you don't mean that much to me. Bye. And she left. I mean, she stayed pretty respectful. You guys, come on, now. I mean, I know Janet sucks, but you're taking, like, a lot of past stuff and trying to, like, still make it a this season thing, and that's just not how it works. And you're all going to look stupid. And, Jesse, you shouldn't be starting five with women, period. But especially, like, in public. Like, what. What's wrong with the men on this show? I'm going to ask it for the 20th time. Like, I don't need to see the men treating women like I just don't need it, you know?

[A]

Yeah. So Janet is. Honestly, Jason is the one who's really emerging the best out of these guys, I have to say. So Janet is like. She's like, look, I'm not trying to poke at you. I'm not trying to start anything. I'm telling you, the only thing I ever purchase light was the legal letter thing. And that's not like this hatred or animosity towards you, even though I will be making fun of you later this evening at least. He's like, yeah, but, like, that's my whole Persona now. Like, you Google my name and it's like, baywatch, cheating, threatening, lying. I'm like.

[B]

She goes, david Hasselhoff blocked me. I mean, oh, my God, I think his new wife did. And I was, like, never referring to him. I feel so bad. I've been blocked by David Hasselhoff's new wife.

[A]

I thought so. It was fun. I feel like if you search Lacy is. Is Baywatch, what comes up? I don't remember. So then Janet's like, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, genuinely. And she's like, I just. I don't go and sit with, like, six girlfriends and gab about it, you know? One thing I am forgetting is that this was filmed last summer, I think somewhere around. I think it was in the summer or maybe late summer, but it was much closer to the last season. So all this stuff seemed probably was fresher in their minds and definitely fresher in Lacey's mind. And because it was just all airing on tv. So that's why, to me, I'm like, this is so old. Why are you rehashing this? But maybe it's, like, not as old for Lacy as it is for us. I'll give her that.

[B]

That was a few weeks ago for her, so. But also, of course, you sit down with six girlfriends and gab about it. Like, who doesn't? And Janice, like, we've. But we don't genuinely. And Jesse's like, yeah, Lacey gave me your car key. Lacey, give me your car key. I'm gonna go get your car. And she's like, can you apologize for yelling? He's like, at some point. She says, no, you need to apologize right now. He's like, okay, forget the car. Then Janet's like, can we, you know, we can all move forward if you just peg him tonight. She's like, ew, what's that? I don't even know what that is. She goes, it means if you him up the butt. She's like, ew, I don't even talk about butt stuff. Add that to the list of things to get offended by.

[A]

She's like, yeah, okay, great. Well, let's get to the car. That was sort of a funny resolution to this.

[B]

Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

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