#3372 Below Deck Down Under S04E16 Part Two: A Tiger Can’t Change Its Stripes

Summary

Watch What Crappens
Episode #3372 - Below Deck Down Under S04E16 Part Two: “A Tiger Can’t Change Its Stripes”
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: May 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this energetic and often hilarious second-part recap, Ben and Ronnie break down episode 16 of Below Deck Down Under’s fourth season, focusing on the interpersonal dramas among the yacht crew, the fallout from a particularly messy night, and the much-anticipated “Garden of Adam” charter. The hosts zero in on the uneven handling of crew behavior, particularly as it relates to Jenna’s demotion, and the rampant double standards at play. As always, the episode concludes with the famously whimsical and beloved “Fish Report.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Charter Guest Introductions & Preference Sheet Meeting

• Ben and Ronnie introduce the new charter guests, especially James, a landscape and floral designer known for working with high-profile but “nitpicky” clients — cue much mockery of James’ name-dropping (Pamela Anderson, Zooey Deschanel, Neil Patrick Harris, Natasha Lyonne).
  • [02:26] Ben: “Can we get Natasha on the phone? Just kidding. She’s so, so nitpicky and needy. Oh, my God.”
• Charter theme: “Garden of Adam” — tying together landscaping with the biblical subtext.
  • [05:05] Ronnie: “It’s so nice they’re doing a Garden of Adam party the same episode we’re blaming the woman for everything.”

2. Daisy and Captain Jason’s Preference Sheet Debrief: Double Standards

• Daisy blames Jenna for causing drama, painting her as the root of the previous night’s chaos, while conveniently overlooking similarly messy behavior by Joao.
• Ben and Ronnie are frustrated by the gendered blame game playing out on the show.
  • [07:16] Ronnie: “Did Jenna ruin the night for everyone or did the guys’ reactions ruin the night?”
  • [08:23] Ben: “You shouldn’t get to go run around and hound them for their private lives… This is crazy to me. I hate this turn.”
• Discussion of how everyone gets drunk and dramatic on this show, but Jenna alone faces consequences.
  • [10:25] Ben: “They’re just grasping at some things so it legitimizes their claim that she should be demoted.”

3. Shifting Relationships and Emotional Fallouts

• Ben and Eddie’s awkward “bro” chat about their respective drama with Jenna. Eddie continues to personalize the conflict and claim victimhood.
  • [13:01] Ben (mimicking Eddie): “My boner never gets completely up either, so you can’t really get mad at it, can you?”
  • [24:04] Ben (on Eddie): “My entire season has been completely emotionally manipulated. Oh god, I hate him.”
• Joao and Daisy’s faux-romantic beach date, which Ronnie and Ben see primarily as reputation management rather than an actual romance.
  • [15:18] Ben: “You don’t feel anything. I do not believe for one second that you feel anything for Daisy. …You’re on a fix your reputation season and I’m not buying it.”
• Joao turns on affectionate charm with Daisy, handing over unsolicited “feedback” on her morning-after attitude.
  • [20:14] Ben: “Here come the notes, the unsolicited notes. She doesn’t have to be any way with you, Joao. You’re begging for cuddles.”

4. Jenna’s Demotion: The Double Standard in Action

• Captain Jason listens to complaints and ultimately removes Jenna’s stripe, demoting her from second stewardess, a decision that Ben and Ronnie call hypocritical and sexist.
  • [27:12] Ronnie: “I’m just going to take away her stripes. That’s an option. It’s not a demotion, it’s a lesson.”
  • [27:54] Ben: “You’re going from two stripes to one. That is literally a demotion.”
• The crew and especially Jason emphasize “not wanting to get involved in personal matters,” while becoming deeply involved in exactly that.
• Emotional responses throughout — Jenna is left in tears, and Alicia tries to comfort her.
  • [29:01] Ronnie: “The guys are totally fine, but she’s the one who’s going to get screwed… all they needed was 24 hours to cool off.”

5. Culinary Chaos: The ‘Whole Fish’ Debacle

• Ben (the chef) insists on serving whole fish, knowing it’s difficult for crew to fillet at the table, seemingly to trip up Daisy after tension over lunch timing.
  • [35:44] Ronnie: “No, no, no, it takes too long, Ben. I’m not going to fillet the fish. I don’t have enough people, I don’t have enough hands.”
• The hosts recount their own experience and struggle with filleting fish, siding with Daisy and ridiculing Ben for using this as a power play.
  • [38:35] Ben on deboning fish: “Easier said than done. It looks simple, but you have to know. You have to know.”
• As predicted, the table-side fish filleting turns into chaos.
  • [43:39] Ronnie: “Everybody’s struggling, nobody knows how to do it. This is a fish disaster.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [05:11] Ben: “They made Eve out of his rib and look what a hussy she turned out to be.”
• [08:28] Ronnie: “Now, granted, Joao wasn’t slamming doors…but otherwise his behavior wasn’t much different.”
• [13:27] Ben: “He gets up to leave like he’s just lost his wife of 20 years to somebody. I respect that. I respect you, man. Not sure what’s going on with your hair, but I still respect you.”
• [24:32] Ronnie: (About Eddie) “The way that you have made yourself the victim in your own story is so obscene and so crazy. I do not trust this man for one iota.”
• [41:39] Ben: “I said it. Shitty restaurant! Don’t ever stay there or go to that restaurant.”
• [43:39] Ronnie: “This is a fish disaster. I mean, this fish looks like it’s being mangled all over the place.”
• [62:15] Ben: (after the Fish Report) “That has been a fish report.”

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:59 – Main show begins; discussion of previous night’s drama and charter guests
• 05:05 – The “Garden of Adam” party and biblical sexism parallels
• 07:16 – Daisy and Captain Jason’s preference sheet meeting; gendered blame and double standards discussed
• 11:02 – Jason’s decision process on penalizing Jenna
• 12:16 – Ben & Eddie’s bro chat about Jenna
• 13:47 – Joao & Daisy’s awkward romantic subplot
• 20:14 – Joao gives Daisy unsolicited “notes” on their relationship
• 27:12 – Captain Jason decides to demote Jenna
• 35:10 – The fish service showdown: Daisy pushed to fillet whole fish at table
• 41:07 – Ben and Ronnie’s culinary sidebar on Ritz-Carlton food
• 43:39 – Fish filleting disaster unfolds at dinner
• 45:36 – “Fish Report” segment begins, with plenty of visual humor and banter
• 62:15 – Fish Report closes and episode wrap up

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The Famous “Fish Report”

• The final 15+ minutes see the hosts go into their trademark aquatic diversion, riffing off a series of fish and sea creature images with enough inside jokes, observational comedy, and improv voices to make this segment stand alone as a comedic highlight.
  • [46:44]: “I made a fish transition. This is my pride.” – Ben, on his editing
  • [52:24]: “Glamorous, very glamorous lionfish. It’s like, hello, today I shall be touring a piece of coral.” – Ronnie
  • [57:37]: Fish with sitcom face, called “Mrs. Poole”
  • [60:18]: “This is Phoenix in the ashes.” (joking about the underwater scene and previous emotional blows)

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Tone & Style

• Signature style: Campy, sarcastic, rapid-fire jokes with sharp pop culture and Bravo-in-joke references.
• The hosts express real frustration over unfairness and gender double standards, while never losing their humor or affection for the “crap” they’re mocking.
• Visual humor and inside bits abound in the Fish Report; audio listeners can still enjoy the zany banter and imagination.

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For New Listeners

This episode is quintessential Watch What Crappens: acerbic, passionate, and wildly funny. If you’re interested in Bravo shows—even if you missed the Below Deck episode—Ben and Ronnie’s unique recap delivers more entertainment and insight than many recaps and perfectly captures the cultural and interpersonal undercurrents that make reality TV so riotous.

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Not to be missed if you love:

• Righteous (and hilarious) takedowns of reality TV misogyny
• Kitchen and service drama
• Fish acting like diva housewives

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End of Summary

Transcript

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[A]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Alicia walks in and she's like, did you kiss Ben this morning, Jenna? She goes, yeah. She goes, fair, fair. So Jason radio's Ben, Daisy and Joao for the preference sheet, meet, meeting. And meanwhile, Alicia and Barbie are gossiping. She's like, oh, my God, I can't believe Jenna kiss. Bands like, that's crazy. All right, prep sheet, meeting. Try to raid. All right, guys, here we are. James, a landscape and floral designer, as well as his partner Kai, simply can't wait to create lifelong memories with their best friends. Let's go see what they're doing in the city.

[B]

James and Garrett, it's his employee and charter guest. So James is like, yeah, we're getting ready to go on this boat trip on the yacht, but I want to talk about this Turks and Kickos thing. So anyway, he tells us that he has worked for billionaires and really nitpicky, needy clients. Nitpicky pains in the asses like Pamela Anderson and Zoe Deschanel, Neil Patrick Harris and Natasha Leone. Ah, fair. There's picky, picky bastards.

[A]

I mean, Natasha, Leon, my guys are at her house right now, actually. Hey, can we get Natasha on the phone?

[B]

Just kidding.

[A]

She's so, so nitpicky and needy. Oh, my God. Can we get a billionaire? Ross Perot, still alive. Call him. I'd love to hear how he'd like that grass I cut for him last year was a real bitch.

[B]

We spent six weeks turning her shrubs and her hedges into A topiary. And then she said, guys, that was my bangs. Oh, my God. She did not appreciate that.

[A]

She got really upset when I put makeup on one of her bushes. She said, we don't do that anymore. All right,

[B]

so. So James is basically saying, I just hope I'm not over the Caribbean by the time we get on the yacht, because I'm always there. And Kai's like, oh, yes, darling. I hope you're not over the Caribbean, darling, by the time you get on your yacht, darling.

[A]

Yeah. I'm glad he called him out for acting like such an idiot, because he's like, oh, God, I'm just so Russian famous. Insane. I know. Pamela Anderson. I was like, shut up. Just get on your discount boat, sir. Who's paying for five minutes on Bravo? You're. You're. Your Groupon half price boat, please.

[B]

Yeah. Welcome back to Bravo. Here's your lounger.

[A]

So you got fired from this network and now you're paying to come back. You're mad, sir.

[B]

So mad at him. He's like, perfectly fine. Like, it's just not.

[A]

He came off really smiling this to me, so I'm giving it to him.

[B]

But the rest of it, he was. Yeah. I mean, he was fine, but he was. It was sort of funny. He's like, yeah, nitpicky. Zoe Deschanel. So Jason is like, I also like

[A]

that he went from billionaires. He's like, I work with billionaires. Pamela Anderson has done a movie in three years or in 30 years. Zooey Deschanel. Neil Patrick Harris. Natasha Leone.

[B]

Yeah, we made a flower bed in Neil Patrick Harris's backyard. That looks like the computer he typed on the opening grades for Doogie Howser. Yeah, I'm that good.

[A]

So back to present. Jason's like, yeah, they're bringing along their friends, Mark, Sam Garrett, Andrew, Ashley, and Courtney. All right. And they all look exactly the same urban names.

[B]

They all will have beards and have the exact same face.

[A]

Is Sarah, Hillary in the mix? No. The only shock on this list of names.

[B]

All right, so they're gonna have a Garden of Adam party. And that's fun because, you know, he's a landscaper. So there's gonna be a garden themed. You guys see what it. This works on so many levels. So now Jenna's mumbling along.

[A]

It's so nice that they're doing a Garden of Adam party the same episode. We're blaming the woman for everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what they did to Eve. They're like, oh, Eve, all of sin is Eve's fault because she ate an apple. Adam was just tricked into it. Just poor innocent little Adam. You know, they made Eve out of his rib and look what a hussy she turned out to be. Ruined humanity forever. And it's on the same episode that we're going to blame the 22 year old drunk girl for all of the pig men on this boat.

[B]

Right? When the pig men had a full choice to deny the apple. Cuz I mean like where did the apple come from? You know where the apple came from. Adam. Come on.

[A]

Where did Eve come from? She came from Adam's rib. Why aren't we blaming his defective ass rib?

[B]

Yeah, why doesn't he have more bible? Yeah.

[A]

So the.

[B]

Anyway preference sheet meeting ends and Jason radios Daisy and he's like, all right, what happened last night? And would you like to wear a commando for this meeting? Well, last night sucked. It was not a fun night. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and you've got a big sweaty arm wrapped around your clavicle? That was my experience. No, no. I don't care about how you actually slept. Tell me about what other stuff happened.

[A]

Oh, all right.

[B]

Well, I don't know. There's a lot of hooking up. Well, Ben spoke to me this morning and then Eddie was about to leave and I don't know the context of any of it. Actually I do. I know there's a girl at fort so please tell me everything.

[A]

Well, that's crazy. So you've talked to both of the men, so why don't you talk to the woman? Wouldn't that be. Wouldn't that. What a crazy thought. So Daisy's like, well, it was wild. Everyone but Johnna was trying to de escalate the situation and she was climbing over furniture, slamming doors and screaming at each and I fucking told you. And I said stay away from them, just stay away. But she couldn't help herself and she played the two of them against each other and it ruined everyone's night. I mean, we had a whole night by ourselves in this town where nobody lives or visits. I mean, it was crazy. All of the. All of the nobody that they disturbed. It was crazy. Look, every single person that's involved.

[B]

Did Jenna ruin the night for everyone or did the guys reactions ruin the night for everyone? So Jason is like, well, I can't believe what I'm hearing from Daisy right now. Jenna has been a solid second stewardess, very professional. And what I'm hearing is, well, it's leaving me in shock. She flirted with a guy and then made out with another guy. I mean, that's just unacceptable. If Eddie left, we're left with only two crew members on deck. And I cannot run a vessel with two crew left down. Okay? One night of drunk and petty drama that could threaten the whole season. I mean, God forbid someone says, eddie, get your head in the game. I can't believe you're thinking about leaving all of us because you're so emotional about a girl who flirted with you. But no, no, no. It's Jenna.

[A]

If Jenna makes me crazy because Jenna was really messy and ridiculous, it's just making me crazy that she's getting all the blame. And, sir, you just said Jenna has been a solid second stewardess, very professional. That's it. That's all that matters. That's all you should give a shit. You shouldn't get to go run around and, you know, hound them for their private lives, and if anything, just say, leave private life out of work. This is crazy to me. I hate this turn.

[B]

I hate it, too. I really hate it.

[A]

Obviously, you know, I'm, like, screaming, because

[B]

also, like, Jenna was really, really messy. And I would have also really have enjoyed just, like, making fun of her being so messy, but I just feel like there's bigger fish to fry, you know? So Jason's like, this will happen again. Because women. Women be women. Women love women be shopping. Women be shopping.

[A]

But it also is. I'm so sorry. Yes.

[B]

No, no, I'm ready. I. I can. I can pause my. My anti woman.

[A]

You're making a joke. And then I'm getting. I'm still getting too mad. Also, it's pissing me off with Daisy because Daisy is, like, with Joao. But look how Joel was so messy. Joao was clearly flirting with Ellie. Even Daisy was, like, could see that he was clearly leading Ellie on and then playing her and Daisy at the same time and then flirting with Daisy while he was, like, still leading Ellie on and all of this. And that was fine. She didn't the captain about that. But now it's a problem, you know. Now, granted, Joa wasn't slamming doors and, like, having a drunken fit like Jenna did. So there. There is that difference. But otherwise, his behavior wasn't much different. So I don't like this whole, like, she's playing everybody against each other when he just did the same thing, and he's fine enough for you to date.

[B]

Let me tell you something about this drunken fit. Like, she was being annoying, and she's being in, you know. You know, petulant and she was being in. She was just being a little brat when she was drunk, for sure. But, like, when they keep bringing this up, it's like, maybe like, this is the basis now. This is where it becomes a professional issue. No, this is just some tenuous thing that you can hang this decision onto. So that way you don't feel like you're being a chauvinist pig. But actually, this is not a demotable offense. People have done just so much worse than the way she acted. I'm sure if we went back in the season, we could find many more obnoxious acts that were committed by people drunk on this boat, you know, but, like, they're just, like, grasping at some things. That way it legitimizes their claim that she should be demoted.

[A]

Well, specifically Eddie hitting walls and beds and stuff when he was upset, you know, which I guess not everybody saw to be fair. Or Alicia fighting with Mike drunkenly, Or Daisy getting pissed at people drunkenly and stumbling all over. I mean, they're all a bunch of drunk idio idiots on this show. So to hold that against somebody is crazy. If she did that when she was sober, I think they could have more of an. If she was still doing it today, you know what I mean? Like, if she woke up and she continued, okay. But I think that there should be kind of a forgiver, forgivable offense on below deck, where they encourage you to get shit faced every single night that you're off after working 16 hour days, you know?

[B]

Yeah, I think so. So any who Jason's like, it's gonna happen again and again and again. Okay. I don't want to penalize someone, and I don't like getting involved in personal stuff, but it's affecting the crew, so leave it with me. Oh, all right, Captain Jason. So now Joao is. By the way, Daisy, I would like to ask if you and I could go for a glass of zinfandel, because I feel like we don't actually get a chance to be by ourselves very often. Huh.

[A]

And I love that Daisy's. I don't Just the Turner phrase made me laugh because she's like, yeah, I'll go for a drink. But it's not like, yeah, I'll go spend some time with you. It's like, yeah, I'll drink. Just show me the drink.

[B]

Very drunk.

[A]

I'm gonna have to listen to this bullshit from you and pretend that I'm really into you for another 10 minutes. Fine, let's do it. Just make it to bar. So now Barbie and Ellie are talking and Ellie's asking what's going on. She's like, oh my God, what's with the kiss, bro? It's like she wants the guy that doesn't want her. It's diabolical. Hi, Ellie. Have you watched your seasons?

[B]

How's that. How's that cheesecake coming along?

[A]

It's literally your storyline for three seasons straight.

[B]

But okay, yeah.

[A]

So now Ben and Eddie.

[B]

Oh, sorry, yeah, Ben and Eddie are on the deck and Ben's like, hey,

[A]

would you be available for a chat? I just wanted to sit you down and say something.

[B]

Look, I let myself down, man. I let you down and I probably let Jenna down. The only thing that has not been let down is my boner still up for those pajamas.

[A]

Wow. Anyway, but to be fair, my boner never gets completely up either. So you can't really get mad at it, can you? All right, now look, this is my weakness, all right? Wine, now cocaine. Wow. No girls. Oh, really? Thought you had more of a problem with wine and cocaine, but all right, I'll go down this path with you. Go ahead.

[B]

Yeah, just. I'm sorry, it's like, I'll be honest, I think you're a massive prick. Yeah, no, that's fine. And I'm just gonna fucking stay away from you. From you. Both of you two.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And could I just ask you to put yourself in my shoes for a sec? No, Ben, Ben.

[A]

No one wants to be in your sweaty cross, weirdo.

[B]

Yeah, this is not the time to ask for empathy like that. No, no, sir.

[A]

He's like, nope, I'm just gonna leave the con, cuz I've had. I've had enough. That's it. So he gets up to leave like he's just lost his wife of 20 years to somebody. I respect that. I respect you, man. I'm not sure what's going on with your hair, but I still respect you despite that. And I want you to remember that.

[B]

And he's like, well, it's just a one way street there. Ha. He's like. So he stomps away all angry. Now Daisy and Jo go off to the beach to go have their date. And Joao's like, can I ask a favor? No work. No, no, no, I promise I won't talk about work. I'm talking about the full moon. So here's a funny thing with a full moon. If the full moon, let's say we're interested in the sun, but then Saturn came along and it sent a text to Saturn, but then it still woke up. The next morning and hung out with the sun. Are we talking about work? No, no. We're talking about the full moon. The full moon.

[A]

No, no, we're not talking about work. We're talking about the moon. Look at the moon. Look how go is. But if you stare at it, doesn't it look kind of dirty? Someone should really wipe that down. I can see holes on it.

[B]

You know what's funny is that that moon hadn't had someone to help it go around the earth. I think we'd call it a moon's assistant, not a su moon. Am I right?

[A]

So they high five, and he's like, daisy can be hot and cold with me. And it's tough because you know there's something there. And I want to know if what I feel, she feels, too. You don't feel anything. I do not believe for one second that you feel anything for Daisy. And I believe even less that Daisy feels anything for you. I'm not buying it from either one of you. Sir, you are on a a fix your reputation season, and I'm not. I'm not buying it.

[B]

It's an FYR season.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Yeah, no kidding. You need to listen to this podcast, sir. Okay, sometimes women pull away when you're creepy and gross. So stop being creepy and gross. Okay?

[B]

Yeah, sometimes women pull away when they see you have no major ambitions in life and they want something better for themselves. That's usually when they pull away, too.

[A]

Jeez. Sometimes when women pull away, it's because you're doing something. Pull away. Able. Okay.

[B]

They want to see if you're needy. By the way, if this person, what they're saying is true, then guess what? You have also failed that tests.

[A]

How about you listen that you are needy? Yeah. How about you put. Yeah, exactly. You're going to a podcast because you're so needy. How about you listen to a podcast called Be the kind of person that women Don't Want to pull away from.

[B]

How about. Oh, you know, it would be a great podcast that you should listen to. It's called how to Pick up a Shammy and Get Back to Work.

[A]

Yeah, do that. Listen to that. So we go back to Joelle and Daisy, and he's like, oh, so a friend at the end of this. What. What are we. What are you. You've kissed once. I know there's wrong with people on this show.

[B]

Where do you think we stand? Well, we're more than friends. And I do like the Zim Cuddles. She's like, okay, well, did you say it was the best thing that ever happened to your. This is still the best season you've ever had? Were you serious about that? It's like, yeah, well, my only ask is that how you are with me. You are consistently in the morning, it's like nothing happened. And that's the difference. I'm like, okay, so you give her all the love, but here comes the. Here come the note notes, the unsolicited notes. She doesn't have to be anyway, with you, Joao. You're the one who's begging for her to cuddle with you. And now you want to give her notes on the performance.

[A]

But also, if you're really thinking about it, she's nice to you at night because she's drinking. You know what I mean? She gets drunk and she gets flirty with you in the daytime. She doesn't feel the same. I think that's when you need to look inward and not asking her while she's drinking, you need to ask her the stuff like, sober. Like, do you even like me sober? She does it.

[B]

Yeah. I also feel like in the morning, it's like, if your chiefs do on the show, you're thinking, okay, gotta wake up, gotta deal with all these idiots. It's like, maybe you're not. Not feeling the most affectionate in that moment. Yeah.

[A]

So she's. He's like, I just can't have distrust. Or maybe I trust him, maybe I don't. This will break us. This will break us. And she's like, well, I've got a lot of walls up, and they're completely warranted walls. They're douchebag walls. And, you know, it's not easy for me. I've had 700 both romances, and none of them ended well. And so I'm just having my own inner conflict, because, let's face it, you're Joel. It's like, we've all seen your seasons. She's. She knows that she dates douchebags, and you're another douchebag in a long line of douchebags. And she knows how this is going to end. And now you're giving her the same lines that every douchebag gives her.

[B]

Yeah. So he's like, well. And I respect that. And I'm at. I'm at your pace. Even if it's for the next five days, I'm at your pace. And at the end of the day, I'm more so scared of losing whatever we have. I'm like, you have nothing. You cuddle at night. That's all you have. It's like, well, I do really like you, even if I'm cold. I love how affectionate you are with me. It's sweet, it's endearing, and I'm glad you invited me for a drink. And I also appreciate that you're paying for this. Right? Thank you so much. Get the bill.

[A]

I loved this because she was like, yeah, well, I like how affectionate you are. She wasn't like, I really like you, and I really like this about you, and I like that about you. She's like, I like that you give me attention. Thanks for the drink. Can we go? And that moon really needs to get cleaned. It is spotty from here.

[B]

It's now the next morning, four hours until the charter. And Barbie's asking Ellie how she slept. And Barbie's like, I love you and your energy and your work ethic and your hair. The list goes on and on. Oh, that's so nice.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Now say something nice about me.

[A]

You like my hair? That's nice.

[B]

Yes. You don't like Joelle?

[A]

That's nice, too. So we go to Ben and Eddie's, and Eddie's, like, in their room, and Eddie's like, I realized the other day when I completely, you know, I was obviously in an emotional spot, and we've both been screwed over by the same person, so I just want to check that you're okay.

[B]

Wait, did Jenna screw Eddie over? How did Jenna screw Eddie over? She dumped him when she saw that it wasn't right, she sent him a text. And then what? Where was the screwing over? What was the. What were the promises that were made? What was the relationship? Where was the cheating? Where was this screwing over? Because I don't see it personally.

[A]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this. I don't intend to pursue her any further. Okay? This is when he does it. I don't intend to pursue her any further. Okay? And he's like, right. So now Daisy walks past Joao and smiles at him. He's. What does that smile mean? Is that a. Is that a smile of trust? Can I trust you? Is that a consistent smile?

[B]

No, it's just your goddamn morning smile that you basically sorted out of me for a free drink. Enjoy it while it lasts.

[A]

So now Jenna and Eddie are sitting on the deck, and she's like, I don't know what's beginning. He's like, look, I'm just going to cut in front now. Got the charter today. I just want to put my best foot forward and the rest of the season, you know, yesterday you didn't deserve my. I didn't. I didn't deserve your time. I'm talking right now. My entire season has been completely emotionally manipulated. Oh, God, I hate him. I hate.

[B]

This is crazy.

[A]

For the first three weeks, I hate him.

[B]

This is crazy that he would even say, see it this way. Emotionally manipulated. You pursued her and you pursued her hard. First, you pursued her just as a way to get Alicia jealous. And then when you realized there was no future for you and Alicia, then you decided to pursue her just to pursue her. And now you're feeling manipulated because she finally gave up and gave.

[A]

Then pursued Alicia again.

[B]

Right? And then you. She. Jenna finally gives in and then says, you know what? This isn't for me. She moves on. She tells you straight up she doesn't want anything with you, which is about as upfront as can be. That's actually not a manipulation. She's messy with you. I could see how that can feel like manipulation. But for you to say the entire season has been emotionally manipulated. The way that you have made yourself the victim in your own story is so obscene and so crazy. I do not trust this man for one iota. Any story he tells, but never trust.

[A]

Yeah, he's gross. So Jenna's crying and Betul comforts her, and she's like, I. That's like, I know sometimes we all up.

[B]

Ruff, ruff.

[A]

You see? Even me.

[B]

Give it time. Meow. See, I'm back.

[A]

I'm back. I'm back.

[B]

So one hour. Yeah. So now Daisy comes in and tells Ben, like, can we have lunch at 11? It's really with our day. Thanks. So Ben's like, oh, wow. So this is why she annoys me. A little bit of crew food doesn't fit with my priorities, I guess. What? Crew foods later. Don't be a dick to someone. Just as the chart is starting. Like, she has to tell you that because you're disorganized. But of course, Ellie's like, yes, they

[A]

can eat Lucky Charms. I said what I said, and I'll say it again.

[B]

These two.

[A]

I know you will. That's what I love about You a true galley soldier, you little dipstick. Diaphragm. Oh, dream.

[B]

So now Jason calls up Daisy to wherever he is, and he's like, well, I've got a second stewardess that created a shitstorm. A man is upset, and we just can't have that on this boat.

[A]

A man is feeling things. Men should never feel things during the work hours. All right, let's stone A right.

[B]

Well, what Jenna did, I've already lost my shit. It's not cool. It's never gonna happen again. And I told her to stay away from them. And they all had a part to play, including Eddie. And I understand that they're all hurting in some way, but everybody else got had to get dragged into their mess. And I agree that's not how a second stool should behave.

[A]

But what I'm saying is someone, you know, going out, causing issues, jumping on couches, slamming doors, that's not second stewardess behavior. It's immaturity on her end. And, you know, this happened off charter, but it starts to affect the crew, and I have to in. Since when? Since when you don't ever step in? Give me a. You're not. You don't step in unless someone is threatening. Threatening to set this boat on fire or until they barge into your bridge and force you to step in.

[B]

Yeah. He's like, I just want this to be a lesson learned from her to take. I'm just going to take away his stripes. That's an option. It's not a demotion. It's a lesson. I'm like, it's literally a demotion. You're going from two stripes to one stripes. That is going down in the hierarchy. He's like, we've rolled through the punches all season long. We've reprimanded Ellie. We've let Mike go. I've even scolded Ben in front of crew. I met my wits end, and although I'm upset at the whole team, Jenna's behavior last night put her at the epicenter of my decision. I have to make something. I'll take a stripe away from her. I can't fire her because I've been told by HR that would be slot shaming. So instead, no stripey for Miss Jenna.

[A]

So now Eddie's still talking to himself, and he's like, you played with my emotions. You're unstable. So Daisy finds Jenna, and she brings her to the bridge. And Eddie's like, you need to toughen up, buttercup. That's what you get for being a good guy.

[B]

God.

[A]

So Jason calls Her up there. And he's like, all right, I don't like getting involved in personal stuff, but the last 24 hours, I've had two people come. Come to me with concerns. You know, we nearly lost Ed. That's his name I've given him. Now that I'm his father, I feel he needs to man up a bit. So he's Ed now. Now, I'm not penalizing you. I want you to look as at this as penisalizing you. All right? Now I want you to learn. So I'm going to take your way. Your role as second stewardess. She's like, okay, I guess I gotta tell the day.

[B]

It's like, well, it had to be done. It literally did not have to be done.

[A]

So now Jenna's crying, so everything's fine today. So it's like everything.

[B]

That's. That's the other thing. You know, these guys make all this. All like this whole. Oh, my God. This. This whole. My goodness, my. You played with my emotions. You played with my emotions.

[A]

And.

[B]

But then, meanwhile, the guys are totally fine, but she's the one who's gonna get screwed. All. All they needed was 24 hours to cool off, and everything is fine. But of course, she's gonna bear the brunt of it. So alicia is like 10. Oh, you're really not okay. What's up? Like, well, James took away my traps. I don't know what you said, but I'll give you a hug. I'm so sorry. Back in Phoenix. To the ashes you can rise. You can rise and be an ash. Just a big pile of ashes instead of a flat pile of ashes. Isn't that how it goes?

[A]

Her bumped fair next? No, it's a saying, but they said it's a pretty serious. No one bombed Phoenix. I don't think you really understand the words in Nashes. It was on fire.

[B]

I don't know even what city Phoenix is. This is ridiculous. You're making things up.

[A]

You can earn your stripes back. You know, there was once a girl, a girl who was very confused in a galley. And a. And a higher up came in and she gave her stripes. No, she gave her a lipstick. And that changed that girl's life. I still always wonder when Alicia is wearing that. That red lipstick, if that's the same lipstick that she got in the galley from that evil stew or that evil chief Stew. What was her name?

[B]

Oh, God, yeah.

[A]

The anti Serena girl.

[B]

Yeah, I forgot her name. I love that. But I. I loved that feud. Oh, it was so good. So now we have Alicia, and she's telling. Barbie's like, captain's taking Janice drop away. And Barbie's like, it's gonna put her in such a bad for the charter. I can't wait. So then Daisy and Jenna are in laundry, and, Daisy, are you okay?

[A]

There's nothing I can do about it, so just take it.

[B]

Take it from somebody who's been doing this for a long time. You're gonna be fine. My advice is move on with it. And if you decide if you want to hang out with Ben, you made your decision. It's like, oh, I'm not over that shit. I just want to do my fucking job right now. It's like, okay, though, don't come back to me and say, you're back into it, because I will come for you.

[A]

So now Eddie and Barbie are in the crew mess. He's like, it took so much not to go off at her. Oh, yeah. She's like, just upset because she lost her second stew today. Yeah, she got her second stew taken from her today. He's like, no way. Oh, she's vulnerable again. This is like putting I spraying his hair.

[B]

Was it. Wasn't there a moment earlier in the episode where maybe. I seem to remember. I think this was, like, after Jenna. Like, Eddie had just walked in on Jenna making out with Ben, and Daisy was so mad that Jenna comes out. She's like, get to work. Jen's like, get to work. I love. She just momed her so hard. Like, go to your room.

[A]

So now the guests are coming, so everybody has to go greet them. So they're lining up. And now Ellie walks and stands right in front of Jenna in the line. Petty ass Ellie. Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Lisa's like, I guess back down to peasant corner. She's like, at least I gave sir chef time to shine. She got what she wanted. And he's like, look at you.

[B]

Look at you. Syrup knuckles. You moved up. Yes. Now we get to be together where we belong. So the gays arrive, and again, I'm always marveled at a pack of gays. Their ability to all look exactly, exactly the same. Like, mainly like white gays. I should say, like, white. White gays with the same exact mustache, same exact beard. Same exact, like, exact everything. It's crazy. So they come on and like, hey. And now they go on their tour, and Jenna is talking with Daisy in the man's launch, like, well, because she said, I felt a million now.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah, she did. Well, she's still not above you. She's a Golly hand.

[A]

So funny. Well, first of all, I'm, like, going through my memory, thinking of all the times we've shown up in exactly the same outfits, which is so funny. But, yeah, I agree with you on that. But, yeah. So now Daisy's pissed off at Ben. She's like, ben, all he does in that galley is inflate her ego. So now she thinks she's queen. Queen bee while she's the lowest person on the boat. It's crazy. They just do what the they want.

[B]

So then Daisy's like, I really wish he didn't do that. So now Joao and Batul are, like, getting ready, getting drink orders and stuff. And they're prepping the anchor because they're gonna leave, and Daisy serving drinks, and then they're getting the sea bobs ready. And then James. What? James is like, have you guys ever done the Seabo? It's like. Like, blows a lot of water out of your penis. So then Ben and Jenna are in the salon, and Ben's like, jenna, are you all right? Oh, yeah. I just want to make sure you're all right. Okay, look, there's quite a few moving parts on this, but I do feel a bit like

[A]

it would be nice if she could just work. That would be great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But she's, like, trying to work behind the bar, and he comes and sits at the stool, and he does that thing where he puts his arm on the back. He's like, all right, listen here, all right? You know, like, if I take my bowl up, there's a lot. It's pretty easy to screw up in my position, all right? There's a lot of pressure. There's no hostility. I'm just here to do a job. All right? My little. My little. My little French burnt peanut fibula. That was.

[B]

That was good, Ben.

[A]

All right, so I'm just gonna hit the brakes here on this romantic situation, all right?

[B]

Like, if I take my football, you

[A]

know, it's like, it'll be a problem.

[B]

So Daisy's like, man, dinner, satite. What's on the manual? He's like, all right, well, we're gonna do fillet and the whole slapper. Oh, another topic. By the way, when you're given a whole fish, you're gonna want to have, like, a station to dissect the fish, for lack of a better term, right? She's like, well, you want me to fillet the fish?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know how to serve a whole fish? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It takes too long, Ben. I'm not going to fillet the fish.

[A]

I'm not going to fill it. I'm not going to do it. There's absolutely no way I can fill it. Eight fish at the same time. I don't. I don't have enough people. I don't have enough hands. It. We'd need eight of me. This is crazy to say go fil at the same time. It. This is nice, especially for people who don't do this regularly, you know, like, sure, maybe one. Maybe one of your staff knows how to properly do this, but this is, like, specialized, you know, And I'm sure there's people who are going to agree with me. It's not easy. Like, when I had to do it, I had to be trained. I mean, I didn't have to go to a school, but, like, the chef took me aside, trained me how to do it. We practiced on a few fish that were really up that we got to eat for crew meal. Like, it was a thing. Like, you have to be trained to do it. You're not just like, oh, well, we're on a yacht. So they do it. Have you worked on this yacht? Have you looked around this yacht? These people are not going to know how to fillet this fish, sir.

[B]

I recently, like, cooked a whole fish, and I watched, like, many videos. I watched them over and over and over and over and over again. I, like, learned. I studied. I did all the things like, okay, I know what to do. Head comes off, tail comes off, top part, bottom part. Then we just cut down the middle, move it out, lift the thing. And I was like, easy enough. It's. The videos are pretty straightforward. Oh, no. Totally mangled. Not. I did not. Bones. The bones were part of my life. You cannot. It's just. It's not just.

[A]

That's not how you do it.

[B]

Anyway, walk into, you know.

[A]

Yeah, we should have a fish filet party. We can do it together. We can. Well, you know, after repeat, we can be like, okay, whose filet is better?

[B]

Say Top Chef. Well, you know that, of course. After watching this episode of Blow Deck, I then spent the next half an hour watching. Watching deboning videos. And I was like, I want to make a whole fish. Just to learn. I want to learn. I want to get this skill down.

[A]

Yeah. I don't take the head and the tail off. I go down the spine with a knife and kind of you separate the thing and then you push it the way of the bones. Like, people. You see them doing it now, they're like, bringing the meat off the bone towards the tail. You know, like going from head to tail. Oh, you don't do it.

[B]

That's not the way the videos do it.

[A]

You go, videos do. Videos. The bone.

[B]

Yeah, the videos do what you say. The videos basically are like, pull the tail off. Like, the little tail off. And sort of like, pull the head off. Because if it's cooked all the way through, they should sort of come off. And then at the top and the bottom of the fish, there's usually like little. Little fins. You look here, pull there, and then once those are separated, cut a line down the spine. And then you push the meat in the way of the bones. Like, follow the bones, moves out the way. And then you lift this entire skeleton up and out. Yeah, and then you put it all. All that stuff. Easier said than done, though. It looks actually pretty simple. But truly, you have to know. You have to know. You have to know.

[A]

So, yeah, it's a thing you have to be trained to do. And so she's right. She's right on this. And he's like, oh, please. You know, like, it's beautiful. The whole fish. They'll enjoy it. Like, this is a ridiculous request. You got to be taught this. You don't hire a waiter and be like, go do a side. Go do a table side. So she's like, ben, it's gonna take too long. Like, please come up with a different plan. He's like, no, I'd love to have a whole fish. She's like, oh, God, then you're gonna need to fill it for me. He's like, no, I'm willing to help you, but, like, we also have a cake to tackle. Then don't.

[B]

He is doing this. He is doing this because she's. She told him when lunch for the crew should be, and he is punishing her because he knows that this is hard. He knows he's also a stickler. He would never want a beautiful whole fish to be mangled by, like, Alicia up there. So he's like, he. But he doesn't care because now he's also has a vendetta.

[A]

He's also a little manipulator because we saw him go to Captain Jason today. Like, could I just talk to you as a bro to get his thing, his comeuppance for Jenna. And now he's doing this thing with her, and he knows that Jason's going to be sitting there at dinner, too, so he's trying to make her look stupid in front of kids. Captain Jason. Oh, you little.

[B]

Ben. Yeah. So now Jenna's getting ready and, like, well, they're all getting ready for this dinner. So the guests arrive, and Jason sits down, and I'm like, oh, God, I can't believe Jason's gonna be sitting here for this whole fish situation. So the. The fish are getting.

[A]

Are.

[B]

Are. The fish are ready to go. They look amazing, by the way. I'm like, oh, I'm so sad how these fish are about to get mangled, because we know that they are going to. And so now Daisy comes in, and she's like, you really want me to fill at them? You really want me to do this? Are you kidding me? I already told Ben. This is an awful idea. You were supposed to think about it over the next few hours and pivot like you normally do. I can't believe we're actually doing this.

[A]

Listen, I could do. I'll come up and help you later, you know, but we've got a cake. It's quite a lot to do, but I've seen people at the Ritz Carlton be able to do it in about one minute. It. You wouldn't last at the Ritz Carlton for five minutes, sir. No, we've been seeing this season with your fucking drippy eggs. Yeah,

[B]

it all to. It takes two minutes, maybe. For. For a real pro, I think it takes two minutes. But, like, all the videos that I watch were about three minutes.

[A]

How about that, Carlton, when you served overcooked fish last week, dish soap in your eggs and runny eggs. Please leave the Ritz Carlton out of it. This.

[B]

Yeah. Also, there's no. Just because it's a Ritz Carlton does not mean that they have a decent food program. Anyway. So anyway, the point is, the Ritz Carlton's a hotel, and you have a good restaurant, but they may not. I say this as someone who once splurged on a Ritz Carlton, and there is a bad restaurant. How about that, everyone? Don't be fooled. Be fooled there. I'm saying all the truths. It was Marina Del Rey, Rich Carlton, Marina Del Rey.

[A]

I said it.

[B]

I said it. Shitty restaurant. Don't ever stay there or go to that restaurant. It was actually.

[A]

So Daisy goes upstairs, and she's carrying this fish, and she's like, I don't know what I'm gonna do with this fish. And Draw's like, I can fill it if you want. And so in the galley, Ben's like, I told you, service is gonna be a nightmare. Yeah, because of you. So now we go to the dinner table, and Daisy's like, all right, for A main course. You've got a whole snapper fish with a burre blanc sauce and New York strip loin steak. And she starts walking away, and someone's like, do I. How do I do this? And she's like, well, would anybody, like, helpful? Like, she tried.

[B]

Would anyone like some cavemen to destroy their fish for them?

[A]

I loved that. She was like, all right, here's your fish. I'm. I'm out of here. Like, can you.

[B]

To be fair, she did say, would anyone like their fish filleted? Fillet.

[A]

She did, but she was gonna walk away. And they said, wait, I don't know how to do this. She's like, oh, wait, Would. Would anybody like their fish done?

[B]

And so now you have Daisy and Drought. And what I was saying before is that, like, these videos, the. The fish, you know, okay, let's say it takes two minutes. Maybe a pro can do it in, like, 30 seconds or a minute. But let's say. Let's go. Let's say that someone can do it in a minute. If there's, like, six fish on the table, that means that someone is waiting six minutes for their fish. Because it takes all those other fish before. Like, it's not smart. You're not going to have. You're not going to be able to have every single person on this crew being able to take care of every single fish. And then if they are able to do it, they're not going to be able to do it at the same skill level. It's just such a terrible, terrible idea, I think. You show the fish and then you bring them back downstairs, and then you fillet them, and then you, like, come back up with the fillets, I think. But, like, sitting there and watching them all struggle, it makes the crew look bad. They're waiting, they're anxious, and it looks just as messy. It's just such a shitty idea. And to say that, like, oh, but we've got a cake to do. You got Ellie there. Ellie's big thing is that she makes the cakes. So this was just total.

[A]

Yeah. So everybody's struggling. Nobody knows how to do it. And this is a fish disaster. I mean, this fish looks like it's being mangled all over the place. And Ben's like, oh, God, do you need my assistance with the fillet? And so he's like, oh, God, it's a bloody nightmare up there. None of the girls were even there. None of them are there. None of them. So Jason is now helping them, and he's like, well, the fish looks Fantastic. And it's well presented. However, the guests should not be witnessing this. I think we're facing the same problem that we've been facing all season. There's a communication discrepancy. No, there's not. He said we're going to do a whole fish. He said that's we can't do that. And he said, you're going to do it anyway. It's communicated. He's just not going to listen. So let's see who you're going to blame on this one.

[B]

I know. I am mortified and for Ben to be shocked that this. Is this the state of affairs? I mean, come on. Here comes one right now.

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[B]

So that was the end of the recap. However, with all this talk about fish, we'd be remiss if we did not do a fish report.

[A]

Now it's time for a fish report. Do I have the fish report? No, I do have the fish report. Okay, it's coming up. It is coming up. It's a fish report. There's a fish. There's a fish who's about to report it on. Here he comes.

[B]

Okay, let's see what the fish report does.

[A]

Isn't it rich? Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think? My collection's complete. This looks like the beginning of A Little Mermaid. Because we're underwater. Oh, I love it. Fish report. Oh, my gosh. It has titles on it.

[B]

It would have. It would have been better if, if, if, if we were singing. Fish report. Fish report. Fish report.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, let's. Let's start over.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Fish report. Fish report. Oh, my God. It's a fish report. Ben. That is so cool. Ben made titles for this.

[B]

I made it a fish transition. I made a fish transition.

[A]

Where'd you get all these fish? This looks so good.

[B]

I just. Well, I subscribe to one of Those sites where you get, like, music and images. And I just got a bunch of fish images and I put them together, and I used Apple motion and I made a fish transition. This is my pride.

[A]

This really looks great. Nice.

[B]

I only downloaded a special font, so almost. I'm just happy. Just a creative. Just a creative outlet for me today now.

[A]

I didn't even notice these fish. These are two sharks. Two different kinds of shark. One is like a black velvet shark. What the. What the kind of shark is that? I've never seen that kind of shark before.

[B]

I don't think that one's a shark. Else. That may just not. Well, it could be.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

We need that on crappy hour this week. We had a marine biologist, and we really need her help right now. Let me look it up.

[A]

Has a fin.

[B]

Black sharks. Is there such a thing as. I think it might just be a dark. Well, there is something called a red tailed black shark, but that's. I don't. That is what it is. I mean, there are. There are things called black sharks, but that doesn't. I don't think that's actually.

[A]

I don't think that's a shark. I don't know. It looks.

[B]

I'm gonna tell you this right now. I don't think it's a shark. Shark. You know what I think it is? I actually think it's a toy. I think someone put in a little fish toy and the shark is chasing it because they're cool.

[A]

It does look like a toy that the shark is chasing. It's like a plushie.

[B]

But look, it looks like it's like a remote control little, like, whale toy. Like a whale shark, but not a whale shark, but a whale comma shark.

[A]

But, you know, here. What. Here's so impressive. They're from different.

[B]

I'm sorry that my bubbles are totally obscuring this shot of the shirt.

[A]

I love it. No, that's kind of why I keep doing it, because I'm like, whoa, those bubbles are so neat. The. I like that they're, like, from different schools, but they can still swim the same. Like, they're even turning their tails at the exact same time. I mean, this is. I love some good choreography. These are good friends.

[B]

I think these sharks are doing that. The. Or these two fish are.

[A]

Are.

[B]

They're basically doing, like, the fish version of Fast and Furious. Like, guys, guys, watch. Okay, so that one over, that's Paul Walker. And then I'm like, the guy chasing Paul Walker. And then, like, watch. Well, it's oh, wait, what happened? We don't. We got news very late down here on mc. Does something happen?

[A]

Paul Walker. Please don't say anything happened to Paul Walker.

[B]

Oh, wait, what was that other goldfish that came in there? Was that from another shot? Yeah, look at this one. Look at this photo. Bomber. Oh, God, these sharks are chaotic. First of all, you got this one.

[A]

This big goldfish is working for the shark. It's like, okay, I'm going to trick the camera. I'm going to. I'll be. I'll cover you. I'll cover you. It's covering you. Oh, there's a shark. It's a attacking you, and it attacks the camera. What the hell?

[B]

This shark is really out of control, just attacking the camera. Okay, you are. You're trying it. But meanwhile, mom, mom fish over there, the red snapper who winds up on the plate is like, oh, honey, have you seen Susan? Mom, you're in the way.

[A]

I'm trying to kill somebody. I'm trying to eat a camera. Get the hell out of my way, Mother.

[B]

It's like when those. It's like when a publicist is, like, walking on the red carpet and just blocks the camera in front of Nicole Kidman. Like, get out of there.

[A]

This is. This is where I come to cry. This shark who is hitting the camera. This is a Jenna shark. Jenna shark.

[B]

Private text. He's not supposed to share. Private text.

[A]

Like, can you even eat me, shark? You are totally flat. Like, am I supposed to be afraid of you? You're no jaws. Okay, you flat face shark.

[B]

I know. You look like an insert for a shoe to keep it, like, properly shaped when you pack it.

[A]

Or like a shoehorn. Like, what, are you gonna help me get on my tight Nikes?

[B]

And.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

You look like you look like one of many different shoe accessories. And look at the shark in the.

[A]

Like, I want to put my drink down on you. You know what I mean? So I don't get a ring on the table. Fucking coaster.

[B]

Hello. Did someone ask for a slipper? Because here I am. Who wants a kiss from a slipper?

[A]

The mom fish is like, I wasn't trying to interrupt. I just wanted to make a heart shape with our shadows.

[B]

Wait, look at the shark on the background on the right with its friend. It's like, oh, my God, get out of here. It's getting dangerous.

[A]

Yeah, it's like they're fighting.

[B]

It's like, guys, we have to go. The other one's like, wait a second. But we're friends. Are there two fish or is it just one? It looks like, you know, on the right.

[A]

I think it's just one. Yeah.

[B]

This one, to me, it looked like a big fish and a small fish, but I'm seeing now it's just one fish. Fish.

[A]

And that's really offensive because that's his tail. I think that you were saying.

[B]

Meanwhile, the other fish in the background is like, oh, you think this is the first time you've seen this? I've attacked many. Look at this. Look at it come in from in the middle of nowhere. From the dust cloud in the center of the screen comes this fish. Like, there he is. Oh, you think, oh, actually, that's the toy shark. It's not a shark. I'm not. I refuse to call it a shark.

[A]

Are you talking about this thing right here?

[B]

Yeah, that one. Look at it come in.

[A]

Oh, that looks like Alien. You know that.

[B]

That.

[A]

The thing in Alien that comes to get you. Oh, look at that big, scary alien head. Oh, but it's so.

[B]

It's so non. So unimpressed by this. It's so unimpressed by this. The shark is being so extra. Attacking the cameraman. The other fish is like, well, just another Sunday.

[A]

I know. Hey, hey. You'd have a lot more fun in life if you smiled more, toots. Okay, what's with the frown?

[B]

Guess what? Internet's down again. This one's attacking the camera. Why don't we deal with the real problems in my Internet?

[A]

This is the person constantly on the neighborhood thread. Like, is anybody else's Internet real slow today.

[B]

Today I was walking around and a shark attacked a camera trying to do something on some. We got. We cracked down on these hooligans. Okay?

[A]

Now we go to this crazy fish, which we love, this showgirl fish.

[B]

Glamorous, very glamorous lionfish. It's like, hello, today I shall be touring a piece of coral.

[A]

Just because I wear gorgeous dresses that have fans all over them doesn't mean I want to have to dust all the coral. But I'll do it. I'll do it.

[B]

The answer is yes. I was at the Cannes Film Festival. My film had a premiere there, and I was wonderful in it. Absolutely wonderful. Seven minute standing ovation. Not that you care.

[A]

Excuse me, did somebody steal my coral? No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Because you were the last person seen with my coral. Not. No idea. What you're talking about is my coral under your dress. Absolutely not. You think you're gonna look under my dress, you little pervert.

[B]

The answer Is, yes, I do utilities at a certain age. Your eyelashes do thin out. But you know what? Nothing some medication can't fix. It's my choice.

[A]

I went to the Botox lady today and she, she offered to remove some of the lines from my face. And I said, what, are you trying to take away my nature, you monster?

[B]

You know, Warren Beatty never gave me a compliment ever.

[A]

But he did give me a penis. Lots and lots of penis. All right here. This is beautiful. This little flower thing.

[B]

It's like a screensaver beautiful anemone type thing to this disgusting moray eel.

[A]

Yeah, this is really beautiful.

[B]

Wow, that personality. I just want to say this is just such a hot a. This is a hot girl anemone. It's like, hi, yeah, just got my hair done. Yeah, like, it has nothing to say. It's just hot.

[A]

This is like too beautiful, I think, to even be in the same shots as like, look what's about to come. Fog O McGee here.

[B]

I mean, I know. Hey, Mel.

[A]

Yeah, he's like, got your order ready? Flo Ding.

[B]

Do you want your burger done all the way?

[A]

It looks like a puppet. Look. It looks like it's being controlled from under the. The coral or whatever.

[B]

It's like a. It's like. I mean, I. I do love the. More eels. And this one is. This is the most puppety looking one of all time. And we just had that big mori. Eel situation. Was it last week? Two weeks ago. But there's all. They were all singing. That one came up in the front and they were singing Bohemian Rhapsody. But this one is just like. This one is so puppety there. You cannot tell me there's more moray eel in like hidden away. Like, that is a human's arm underneath there.

[A]

This is like my. Before getting my waddle surgery shot here. By the way. You don't have bats in your cave. You literally have cat bats hanging out of your nose. Like, what the hell? Wipe your nose, bro. You're on camera.

[B]

It's like, guys, oh my God. I'm just like stuffed up once again. No, it's because you've got. You put peanuts in your nostrils. Take them out.

[A]

More sharks. Underside of sharks. This one has a really nice line here coming down. I think this would be like the V on People, which Erica from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills called cum gutters. Disgusting. But the shark has them.

[B]

The shark is like, oh, my God, I hope I'm not being shot from an unflattering angle. The shark is also a bit puppety. Look at its Mouth. That's like a very puppet mouth, right?

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

It's kind of cute.

[A]

Yeah, that's kind of cute. I love it. I love that it's like, has an Adam's apple as well.

[B]

Yeah, very smooth. Smooth underside.

[A]

Now this one, I want to watch quick. How. How quick it moves. I love the pulsation of this jellyfish. You know, I never learned until fish report how different jellyfish are from each other. And this one is more solid than some. And it just has such a beautiful pulse. I noticed this.

[B]

It's like, it's definitely like at an EDM festival.

[A]

This one's like.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, oh, my God. John Summit's playing in Tampa. Guys, we gotta go. You gotta go. Oh, my God. Did you guys see Cascade? So good. I got to kiss at the pool party. It was amazing.

[A]

Love that, you guys. I'm really smart. You can see my brain. Look at it.

[B]

Guys, are you. Are you guys gonna see Tiesta at Coachella? Yeah, he's playing at, like, the Sahara town. I'm gonna be there. Yeah.

[A]

You guys, Justin Bieber just did a set, like, sitting at a table and watching his own YouTubes.

[B]

Oh, my God. I just heard the Thunderpuss remix of Brave by Sarah Bareilles. Like, it was fire.

[A]

Does my brain make my butt look big? Just like me.

[B]

People think I have a bob that's just the shape of my head.

[A]

Okay, this is a pretty fish.

[B]

This is a gorgeous fish. But this fish is like, God, I love being camouflaged. No one can see me at all. It's like, ma', am,

[A]

we see ya.

[B]

I love when they. I love when they show fish just hanging out when they're not, like, actually swimming. They're just lying on things because they just. Yeah, just. Just feels weird to see a fish lying around. Like that one shark that's always sleeping on the ground. This one just lying against the coral, acting like it's blending in. Like, we see you. You are a bright, gorgeous teal.

[A]

It also has, like an 80s sitcom face where it's just like. And now Ruth McGillicuddy. And she's like. And she just has a big open mouth smile that never closes.

[B]

The next door neighbor to check the mail, she wears a visor. She's Mrs. Poole. I'll say it. She's Mrs. Poole.

[A]

This is that same lined face. Fit, clown fit. What do you call this? Not a clown fish. What'd you call this?

[B]

Lionfish. But this one is now giving you some wisdom that you'll need for your Journey.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To seek the answers, haven't you? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[A]

I really love on these lionfish how they have leaf lips. Like they have leaves coming out of their lips. It's just so cute.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, look at this starfish.

[B]

This is my favorite starfish. It looks like it's a s'. Mores. It's like marshmallow, but it has, like. It has char but also chocolate chips on top of it. It's, like, delicious looking.

[A]

This reminds me of one time my friends were over and they were like, oh, my God, have you guys been on Grindr? And I was like, no, because I still believe in, like, fucking people in real life. And they were like, well, there's like, a new thing going on Grindr, that you have to be. You have to get shot, snapped. For Monkeypox. They're like, did you. Did you have sex with the guy? Did he have his shots for Monkeypox? I mean, this was a few years ago, but this is what I was imagining.

[B]

The starfish.

[A]

You're like, it looks delicious. I'm like, it looks like private parts with monkey parts with monkeypox on it.

[B]

I think it looks like a marshmallow. It looks like a big marshmallow version of a starfish with, like, chocolate chips on it. Like, it's like some. It's like, like some. It was a misguided attempt at making it look delicious. Like someone made a marshmallow star starfish. And then they were like, you know what? Let's decorate with chocolate chips. It's like, oh, we went too far. We ruined it. We never should have touched it any further.

[A]

That's the same fish. And. No, it's a different fish.

[B]

No, that's just. We've. This is a fish we've seen before. Secretary fish. But this, I. You know, I thought what was fun, this one. It's just so alone right now. It's so alone.

[A]

Like, it's like you guys all think you're so above me. They're like, we're literally above you, Ruth. All you have to do is swim up here.

[B]

We're all here. We're just waiting for you. I'd like to be invited, though. You are.

[A]

Looks like they're flying in the clouds, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So pretty.

[B]

It's like. Yeah. And look at these. These. These stingrays are just like. This is. This is Phoenix. This is Phoenix in the ashes.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, what happened to the ocean? They all look like they're in Dances with Dragons or whatever.

[B]

That's I know. This is such an HBO movie. This is like. This is like from the creators of Game of Thrones Come true. Stingrays in a dust cloud. I. I am the one who has earned the rights to call this seabed my kingdom. It's like. No, it is mine. It was promised to me. Oh, yes? Well, then I shall see about that. Because I shall challenge you to a dragon duel. There are no dragons. Fine. I will find a starfish.

[A]

All right. You won't let me have the throne. Smell my armpit. Oh, yeah, you like that? All right, sucker. Now we've got a sideways. Oh, is it over? Now we've got a little sideways fish. I like this one. This is another open mouthed fish.

[B]

I think it's chasing something. Look, it's bullying that little goldfish. Yeah, yeah. This is a real. What? Talk about a real bully fish. Just because it has nice cool blue accents all of a sudden gets a bully this poor goldfish? I don't think so, sir.

[A]

What's happening now? Down near the tail of this fish. Is that another fish? Oh, they're other fit. They're like baby fish swimming with the mom fish.

[B]

You know, they. You know, these. Sometimes these fish really need to observe some personal space. They really get all up in. Up in other fish's business, you know? But that's probably the mom is the kids.

[A]

She's like, you try and afford child care, okay? Sometimes we have to bring our children places. I know this is not appropriate. Okay, so I'm watching an R rated movie, but I'm hunting with my children in the car. Okay, well, forgive me, I.

[B]

Well, now I think she's sh away the goldfish. Now she's like, get out of here, John Cusack. I don't want you playing your stereo on my coral lawn, okay? My kids are my. My angels. They're not ready for premarital sex. Get out of here. Get Shoe. Shoe.

[A]

Fish report. Fish report.

[B]

That has been a fish report.

[A]

These titles killers. Great job.

[B]

They bounce. Loved it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Ben, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.

[A]

All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us. We will be back, you know, for the rest of our lives and yours, hopefully. Bye, everybody. Talk to you next time.

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