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Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts I I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown.
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Who cares what happens when there's so much. That crappens?
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Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Bennuni over there. Hello Ben.
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Hello. Hello. How are you?
B
Good. Everybody, welcome to the show. Today is the first recap ever of in the City. In the City. I wish they would have just called it the City. I know they can't because there was another show called the City. But the Valley. The City. Keep it. Keep it consistent guys. Okay? For my sake. But in any case, in the City started and we will be talking about it. We're doing our cabaret. Forbidden Housewives is all the characters we love on Bravo in New York City June 3rd and 5th. Those shows are sold out. There's three shows on those nights. They're sold out. But you guys should live stream it. There are live stream tickets available for that. You can buy tickets up until showtime and you can stream them for a week afterwards. There will be a big chat room in there where you guys can talk to each other, make fun of us, do whatever you want. That's going to be really fun. So go get tickets at watch what crappens.com or or Lincoln bio or on Instagram. And if you want this recap on video or bonus episodes or ad free listening or you want our weekly newsletter which is free, you can sign up for that for free over@patreon.com Watch what Grapples and Today in the City, Season 1, Episode 1 titled The City.
A
Whoa. It's finally here in the city. After years and years of us requesting more time in the city with the Summer House people, we have received it sort of because it's not happening during Summer House as with a whole different group of people. But, you know, it's kind of, kind of, kind of what we want. And I'm, I loved it. I'm gonna say this right now. I loved it. I thought it was a great premiere. I was on board. I like the dynamics. I like the way it looked. I like the vibe. I like the buttons. I like the zipper. I like the pocket.
B
I like the pleading. Yeah, I liked it too. I mean, I think I'm gonna like it, you know? Yeah, I think.
A
Good.
B
It's, you know, for me it's just a lot of Kyle and Amanda bullshit right after Summer House, which, I mean, I can only imagine how they feel because, geez, it's a lot of terrible couple. And it is worrying me a little bit just to start that it's so the Valley, because this is like, okay, we're growing up now, so now. And we all force each other to have babies, you know, and we see how that's working out on the Valley. And I just watched the screener for this week's Valley and let me just say, not great. It's, it's not working out great for anybody. So I'm hoping that this show doesn't fall into just a pit of misery like that show has. But I enjoyed it. I thought it was a great first episode.
A
I thought it was great. And I also love that it, yes, it is a basically the Valley for Summer House. But these people all feel like they are doing things with their lives and I appreciate that. So I, I, they're all true you know, they're. They're all like, they have careers. I mean, not to say that Luke wanting ambition isn't a career, but they have ambitions. They have.
B
They have fashion. They're all dressed really well. They're all, like, going to nice places that we would want to go to and not places with floor tiles on the wall. You know, I mean, it's definitely a. Yeah, for sure.
A
Yeah. I mean, for sure. We're going to hate probably many of them the way we hate people on the Valley, but it just. It just feels like they live in a different world. Whereas you go to the Valley and it's like, oh, Jesse Lolly, former model who now does real estate, and Danny Zuko, who appeared on the OC and now does voices for zombie video games and is a terrible person. And here's someone else who tried an entertainment and now is kind of doing this thing instead.
B
Yeah, Like a personal assistant for Sheen who has a ball pit in her house.
A
Yeah, Jason. Jason is a lawyer, though. We'll give him credit there. And it's not to say that there's any more merits for having some sort of professionalism versus non. Everyone's allowed to have non traditional careers like we do. But it's just very funny watching it on in the City.
B
It's not career shaming, it's glamor. It's like lack of glamour shaming. You know what I mean? Because this one is something you want to watch. This is like, oh, wow, these are people who are doing well. Like, you want to dress like them and go to the places they're going to. None of that is happening on the Valley.
A
It's. It just sort of seems at first blush like these are people that may just have a little bit more substance to them then, I don't know, like, people in the Valley, like, I'm sorry, I'm Michelle Lolly, perhaps, would be a good example. Michelle. Sorry to be threatening with these comparisons. Anyway, the point is not threatening. Point is it's talk about in the City. I thought it was really good and I really liked what was going on here.
B
Yeah. So we've just left Summer House. So Amanda and Kyle are driving home and it's, like, really sad. And they're looking at street signs and talking about how much a relationship sucks, and
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we suddenly think, I suddenly, out of nowhere, the font has changed on our television. We have transitioned into a new show. We have a serif font, ladies and gentlemen. In the summer, we have sans serif, but in the fall, the serif arrives we're in the sophisticated world of a serif fonted show.
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Trixie Monocle's here, which is nice. I love when she makes it. Trixie Monocle has appeared back on Bravo. I think she's out of rehab and writing music again for the shows. Because there was one show this week that had a song that goes something like this. Oh, it should be illegal to be this blessed. It should be illegal to be this blessed. And I was like, yes, my girl is back in action. It should be illegal to be this blessed.
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Yes, Trixie.
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This one is. Take a breath and close my eyes. All the lows and all the highs.
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Wow. Yeah. Exciting. It is really.
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I love. See, I love hearing her back on tv.
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She did a lot of personal inventory in her rehab, and she's come out. Her music's a little. You know, it doesn't have the same edge. You know, it's like with Alanis, she was best when she was angry at someone. But we still appreciate her for the. For. For what she represents. So, Trixie, welcome back.
B
Yeah, I mean, I do miss Trixie's girl era, where every song was about being a girl. Like, I like being a girl. I'm a girl on the street, A girl on a crosswalk? I'm a girl who sees cars in the street and says stop. Cause I'm a girl or being a boss?
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I'm a boss, I'm a boss? I'm a girl who's a boss. Walking down the sidewalk, all I see are people at loss? Cause here comes a boss and it's me.
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B, O, S, S. I'm a boss, I'm a boss, boss, boss? I'm a girl who's a boss. Love her. So it's really talented. So now we're in New York City. We see the Statue of Liberty. He's like, does my armpit smell anybody? Anybody?
A
Working girl coded. Very working girl coded. And honestly, that's the sort of coding that works for me. Okay. More like working for Ben, girl. Because I was like, just please, please play Let the River Run. That's all I need right now. And then the show, I'm. I'm hooked for the next 10 years. Just. Just get that Curly Simon going. Our audience, who is too young to know what the hell I'm talking about, which is a shame.
B
There at the River Run. There you go. There it is for you kids. So Amanda is riding solo into midtown, and she's like, I can't imagine my life without Kyle. But no matter how badly I want to fix this Relationship. I'm not sure I can. Something has to change. I need time by myself. I'm going to a hotel.
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Now she'll be able to imagine life without Kyle, which is life without hearing coming out of AirPods.
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Hey, man, do you want to hear this crossfade? No.
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Kyle. No. Kyle's driving solo, and he's fidgeting around, and. And she pulls up to a hotel, and he pulls up to his apartment alone. It's like they're going separate ways. And of course, it was just like a really sad moment on. On Summer House, but they had to segue out of that. So now that they've, like, arrived at where they're sleeping tonight, then all of a sudden, the music is going from, like, a mournful divorce music. New York, New York, New York. Gossip Girl was here once. New York, New York. It's fun.
B
January 2026. Four months later. Summer House's Kyle and Amanda have broken up. And we see headlines popping up on screen about the breakup. And then we see a clip of Watch what happens live with Amanda and Sierra being the guests. And Amanda. Amanda's at. Or Andy's asking, who do think is going to start dating first between you and Kyle? And she's like, me. And Sierra's like, yes.
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And then now it's March 26th, and Kyle is on there. And Andy's like, kyle, what's your reaction to the Amanda and West rumors? And Kyle's like, I don't think there's any merit to it. And now we go to another episode where Wes was famously a guest, and he's like, what's your reaction to the rumors about you and Amanda? I mean, that's like. That's like a friend. And, like, it's like, I'm a friend. I'm a boy. I'm a little boy.
B
Then we see on screen headline after headline about rumors being confirmed that west is, in fact sticking his gummy bear into Amanda. And so we see sirens in the city, noise and all this stuff. And now it's April 9, 2026, and we've shot a new scene for this so we can get the aftermath of what happened. You know, they're trying to do, like, a scandal type thing where it's like, oh, show it. And then rewind, rewind. And we see Kyle in his apartment, and we. We know he's upset because he is vigorously scrubbing a cutting board. Very depressed, depression, scrub coated.
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He had just sliced a can of lover boy open. So he's really out of his mind. Like, I Got one of those cool Japanese knives.
B
So I don't want to mix the lover boy cutting board up with the steak cutting board and give food poisoning. Monk, fruit poisoning.
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So Amanda not enters with the dog rioter. Oh, wow. Still got that key of yours, huh? Yeah. Okay, here's a hug. You're eating. You look skinny. I'm worried about you. She's like, I'm worried about me too. So Amanda Chiron, creative director of her own misery, perhaps. And they sit on the sofa. I'm like, what is she the creative director of?
B
I don't know. I've never heard that. I guess I've heard it in the bikini. Lover boy terms, I guess. Lover boy, I guess, right? She's a creative director of lover boy and her. Didn't they only come up with that logo? Well, I guess you do other things. Didn't they steal that logo? Anyway, the point is, she's a creative director.
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Deep thoughts on what's your crap?
B
What do you do? I guess they do a lot of stuff, like Instagram posts and stuff like that. Like, our new flavor is coming out. The new flavor is called Amanda. Okay, well, that's not. That's not an actual flavor name. Okay,
A
so Kyle's like, well, I joined a new gym and I pulled my back doing deadlift. So I want to be there for you through all this, but I also want to clear a few things up, which is that if you thought I my back was in good shape, it's not. Aren't you glad I opened up with this anecdote about the gym? No, Kyle, I don't care about your deadlifts. Well, you should, because I'm a man.
B
What every woman wants to hear when you've left them and they want you to be doing better, and you're like, well, started working out more. So that's good. Wow.
A
It was actually a free gym. All I had to do is pierce my ear and get a Corvette. So I'm really excited.
B
Saying, well. And he says, well, you know, over the summer, it looks like you were just done with me. Which it did. It did look like that over the summer because we just watched that show. And Amanda's like, whoa, that's so frustrating to me because I, like, gave our relationship everything I had. Did you? Did either of you? I can't with these. This conference. I'm sorry. I'm already bitter starting off this because we just finished 17 or 18 episodes of Summer House, so I've heard it. Okay. I'm sick of both of you. So she's like, you know, the thought of you not existing in my life was so impossible for me to wrap my head around, and it was so hard to call it quits. But then, you know, it got so messy, and I was afraid that when we did just end it, we'd be out of each other's lives forever. And, like, I couldn't handle that, Kyle. I couldn't handle that. I haven't been able. I haven't had to pay rent in three years, which we find out later.
A
Wow.
B
I wouldn't leave either. That's an expensive apartment. If I didn't have to pay three. If I didn't have to pay a mortgage for three years, I would stay in a relationship with a DJ who stayed out all night. Yeah.
A
By the way, jumping ahead, I do think it's a little up that. Kyle. A charter background. You guys were, like, married. It's like a joint expense. I'm sorry. I don't think that's fair. Anyway, Kyle's like, there are points during summer and fall where you just. You weren't just, like, one foot out the door. It looked like you were fully out the door. Yeah, Kyle, it was also. It's been a few years when she. What clue do you clued you into? The fact that she was out the door. Was it when she said, I want to live in a hotel?
B
Yeah.
A
I kind of got the sense you were over me a little bit.
B
Yeah. But he's basically saying, like, this whole summer we shot Summer House, I didn't realize you were already broken up with me in your head, which apparently you were, because now you know, of course, the rumors are that she was banging west that whole time. And so she's now raising her voice, crying, and she's like, oh, I was doing. I was done. I was tired. I had nothing left in me to fight, but I still gave it everything I had. He's like, well, can you say that, like, through Thanksgiving was, you know, like, was there an emotional affair with West?
A
Things. I heard things. I heard things. Stop doing your good fellas on me, okay? I was so committed to you the whole time. And for you to even question my faithfulness in any capacity hurts. Well, Amanda, of course he's going to question. You know, you're in a. You're in a scandal right now. Of course she's going to question your faithfulness.
B
You were lying about who you were hooking up with for a lot. Like, you were lying to everybody for a long time. So it's not crazy to think that you were lying. And since you're the one to shame somebody else about this later, you are still technically married to Kyle, and I would not even hold that against you. But you're holding it against Danielle in about five minutes. So you're a hypocrite.
A
Wow.
B
And a liar. So it's not crazy. And also her reaction to this, I. I know that her reaction is partly frustration because she's kind of like the number one villain in the world right now. Or in America. In this world right now. But your reaction's not helping. Like, I would never. Why would you think that? You're acting guilty. Guilty.
A
It's like, well, I had a one night stand. Because she says, by the way, I wouldn't step out or cheat when I've been cheating on. I've been cheated on by you. He's like, well, mine was a one night stand. It's like, kyle, you mean I was someone when we were married? And he goes, says who? She goes, there's a video. He goes, okay, okay. Checkmate.
B
I think that was the best part of the whole thing to me. I don't know why that made me laugh. There was video.
A
Okay, okay, okay.
B
Has he seen the video? Does he know there's video, or does he just know that she knows? She says there's a video because we still haven't seen this video. I just want to say. Not to say that I doubt that Kyle's probably made out with hundreds of people, you know, at his DJ gigs, you know, whatever. So anyway, she's like, but my point is, I would never do that. And he's like, okay, you're not a bad person, but you were reckless. If I'm being honest. I'm gonna say if I'm being honest a lot, but I am still trying to be a good friend to you through all this because I worry about your mental health, Gay.
A
That's not your responsibility. But I do appreciate that. So now he's crying. He's like, everything I do for you from here on out is because I care about you, not because I'm trying to rekindle things. It's because I care. God knows I don't want to rekindle. God know how much ass I'm getting out there on the road, man. I just did a DJ gigging Lodi. Oh, my God. Had a threesome. Talk about a load in the eye, right? Kyle, can you focus again?
B
Dead lifting ass. That's how I hurt my back. Okay, if I'm gonna be honest, did
A
a show on manhasset More like this man has it. Yes. I went up to Scarsdale, did a great DJ gig there. I was scarred from too much sex. I don't know, I ran out of puns, okay. But I did a gigging scars. Yeah, that's the point. Right off of 84.
B
Went bonkers and Yonkers.
A
Point Jervis. More like Point Jizz. Us great there.
B
Wes, Blue John, your Chester. That's where I was doing a gig this weekend.
A
Had a great gig in West Orange in New Jersey. More like West Orange. You jealous of my career?
B
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial.
A
Ronnie, do you remember my patio before the world of Wayfair? It was just a desolate, dusty, dirty, sad space where you'd sit down and be like, oh, God, I ruined my pants and my shorts with all the dirt on this grimy furniture. It was awful, awful, awful, awful.
B
It was just a tumbleweed blowing through there.
A
But then Wayfair came along and now I've got really cool stuff out there. I got cool chairs. You know what I love? I got some Acapulco chairs. They're those chairs that are sort of like. They look egg shaped with like the cables. And you sit in them and you're like, this isn't going to support me. And it does. And it's actually somehow more comfortable than anything else in your house.
B
I got those and it looks glorious. You can get every style, every outdoor space. Whether your vibe is modern, coastal, farmhouse or eclectic, Wayfair has options to help you create an outdoor space that's uniquely yours.
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Wayfair makes it simple to narrow down what works for you and your silent budget. I mean, they got reviews and they've got filters, they've got visual tools. Everything you need to find the right furniture for your outdoor space.
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And there's everything in one place. You can find outdoor stuff, grills, major appliances. You can find storage. There's patio, lighting, rugs, decor. Wayfair is your one stop.
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Shop for home, get prepped for patio season. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.
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Wayfair Every style, Every home.
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Between diets, workouts, and endless advice, it's hard to know what actually works for weight loss and what's worth your time. That's why hers offers access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications that now includes the WeGovy pill and
B
the WeGovy pen with WeGovy at hers lose up to 20% or more of your body weight. When combined with diet and exercise, it helps you regulate your appetite, eat less, keep weight off. Plus WeGovy is the first ever GLP1 pill for weight loss so there are no needles needed.
A
Everything is 100% online. Through hers, you'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door. No insurance necessary.
B
And it doesn't stop there. Weight loss by hers goes beyond medication by offering access to 247 messaging with your care team and tons of in app lifestyle and nutrition tips like rest recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content and more.
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Ready to reach your goals? Visit for hers.com crappings to get personalized affordable care that gets you.
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That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com crappings for hers.com crap ins weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states. WeGovy is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk as to get started and learn more, including important safety information, WeGovy clinical study information and restrictions, visit for hers.com why you remind you the same fucking way, Kyle? We still love each other because there was a version of us that did fall in love for a fucking reason, okay? You need to. You need to.
A
You're.
B
You're the one in the wrong, okay? You need to flip this. This attitude, okay? Because in the earlier episodes we've watched, we've always been on your side because you've been in the right for those episodes, but you've just been caught fucking west for God knows how long. So you need to like stop yelling for now, okay? You're not. You don't have the high ground at the moment.
A
You're going to turn this city right around if you don't stop yelling. We're going home. Kyle is like, that makes on my dick tunnel.
B
That's where I'm going to be going after this
A
man. So again, Amanda says, you know, we did fell in love with an. There was a version of us that we fell in love with for a reason. And he's like. And that's what makes me upset, that because someone else gets that version of you that I fell in love with.
B
Now they didn't spend any time on this line. I thought this was a very interesting line to Kyle. It's something you hear in breakups. I usually hear it from my girlfriends who are like, I trained this man. Like, I'm the one, he's like, complained that I was a nag. He complained that I was this, that I was bossing him around, whatever. But I turned him into, like a decent person. Then he goes and cheats on me. And now this girlfriend has the well trained version that I. Trained, trained, you know, so at first it sounded kind of like that sentiment. But I think what he means is Amanda's seen all over the place going out and partying with West. I mean, she's having the best time. She's going. She's going to bars, she's drunk, she's doing. She's kind of living the life like Kyle wants from her. Because Kyle's only happy with Amanda when she's drunk and they're out. We see them partying. That's when they've been happy on Summer House. And he hates that he's still living that lifestyle and she's not. And she's like, I just want to be home and watch Netflix. Which I think is valid, by the way. But he doesn't want that lifestyle. And I think what he's saying here is, I see you living the lifestyle I've wanted from you all this time, but you're doing it with somebody else. Like, why is it okay for you to go live that lifestyle with west, but with me? You demand I'm home at a certain time watching Netflix, Right?
A
Well, it's like even more sort of like directly the girl that he fell in love with, like, that personality, whatever, whatever she was presenting as, then that went away, and then now all of a sudden it comes back and he doesn't like, he's like, that's what I. This is the car that I bought now. And my car's had, like, transmission issues all these years, and now I sell it, and now the car's working again. And that's not fair because I really like that car. Not to make this reverse lemon. To me, yeah, it's like the lemon unlemoned itself, but it's a pretty profound thing, sort of. So basically, what I'm saying for this show, what I'm saying is that Amanda is a jalopy. No, I don't mean it that way. I mean, it's just like, I. I understand what you say. It is the total inverse of the example you said about your girlfriends and what we've heard before of like, I made this. I moved this person. Now that everyone gets a better version, he's like, no, no, no, I lost the good version. I want the good version back. Anyway, speaking of Going back, we're gonna rewind to September. So now we're back in September 2025, and we're at Lindsay's apartment, financial district, and her big ass apartment, and her
B
baby mother college, Fidai. I didn't know she lived in the financial district. Who. Who lives that far downtown? I'm surprised.
A
CEOs and founders. So Gemma's there. Gemma's a big star. Gemma has a lot of time on this episode and she's a. She has actually very expressive. She definitely.
B
She's pretty cute.
A
Yeah. She has a cute little baby.
B
Oh, my gosh. Well, there are no ugly babies.
A
You know, I feel that that's not true. There are ugly.
B
It's not true. There are some damn ugly babies. There really are some ugly babies. But I do believe that you should never call a baby ugly to its face.
A
To its face, behind its back, all the time. Because it can't get mad at you. It can't be like, you've been saying this behind my back. Say it to my face. Like. Like, sorry, if you. If. If you could say more than goo Goo Gaga. Sure, you have a point, but.
B
Exactly. Yeah. When you're old enough to pay taxes, you're old enough to judge me for calling you ugly. I feel like the only people that you can say like, that baby's really ugly. I feel like the only people you should really ever say that to is like, the parents of the baby because they. They're the ones who can do something about it.
A
Yeah, there should be a podcast about talking about babies. Be like, oh, my God, I met this baby today. So stupid. Coming this fall through its Cheerio on the floor. Like, hello, that Cheerio is for you. Okay, catch us after the break.
B
Yeah, Just rate babies. I'm in. Yeah, let's go. Recap. Yes.
A
Hell yes. You go look. Instead of, look who's talking, look who's being stupid. It's just about babies.
B
Look who's not talking yet.
A
Yeah, look who's not talking yet.
B
Wow. Wait for your baby. Still. That might not be able to speak.
A
That might not land. Well,
B
you know what? Neither do babies. Okay?
A
Why are the babies flying the planes?
B
They will be soon. The way this country is going. Non union babies, your next pilot. Okay, so Lindsay is talking to the baby and she's like, since becoming a mom, life has become a chaos, and there's no doubt that Gemma is my daughter. Like, the way I get a death stare at. Gemma gives the death stare. And we see that Gemma does give Lindsay the death stare.
A
Baby's Like, I am activated.
B
W. So how many peas have you crushed for me lately?
A
How many planes have you landed in the hangar? So Lindsay's saying, like, my friends are all entering a new chapter of adulthood, but I'm just wondering if I'm ever going to have. Have sex again. It's been nine months, okay? I would have had sex, right? And I got the clear of my doctor, but then I got dumped, okay? Because my vagina used to shoot rainbows and butterflies and sandwiches all the time.
B
So I didn't know. Has she ever said this clearly that she just got dumped? I didn't know that that guy dumped her.
A
She hasn't. I don't think so. I should say in the media that I have seen. I have not seen her say it. Maybe she said in some interviews, but.
B
Yeah, but we see flashbacks of her being sexy, and she says that she got broken up with, and it's been a while, and she couldn't have gotten through this year without her support system. She's got her nanny, Liz, and all of her girlfriends. And then her nanny comes in, and she's so cute. I mean, this is how you get along with babies. This is a good nanny because she comes in and she's like, hello.
A
I know.
B
I love.
A
I love Liz. I love Liz. She knows what she's doing.
B
It was so cute. This is how adults want to be greeted. You know, people like, take this away from you when you become an adult. I remember the first time I went to a cousin's house. Their mom used to always be like, ronnie. Hi, Ronnie. And the first time I was old enough that I went over, and she's like, oh, hi, Ronnie. And I was, like, crushed. I was like, really? I don't get any. Like, whoa, Ronnie's here. It's just like, wow, it's Ronnie. I never wanted to go to that cousin's house again. And, you know, I will never forget Sue.
A
Oh, wow. Wow, Sue. You're. You're on blasts for losing enthusiasm. Looks like Ronnie. You want the version of sue you fell in love with.
B
Yeah. What happened to that Sue? I don't want to Sue. Well, when you become seven, suddenly you're just Ronnie again.
A
Says suddenly Sue Sin. Okay, so Lindsay's talking about how, like, she's relying on her. Her support system, which includes Liz, who we love, Icon Liz. And also her friends. And speaking of friends, we see a flashback as an example of her friends. So Lindsay and she meets up with Yvonne at, like, a one of these, like, toddler places. And Yvonne is Like, so is this brunch? I thought we were doing something fun. I mean, this is fun, but, like, actually, like, the way I'm gonna trail off is supposed to imply it's actually not fun at all. And I'm lying to my face.
B
Well, Yvonne's been my best friend for 13 years, and when my ex and I broke up, I went right to her house, and she was, like, milking my tits while drinking tequila.
A
Oh, my God. Yeah, she, like, totally forgot her breast pump. And at home, and so they are, like, milking her boobs and calling my husband, telling him it's not a good time to come home whatsoever.
B
So now the women are sitting on a floor in a circle, and we meet Georgina, Lindsay's other best friend and dermatologist. And so they're talking about Nick. Yvonne's like, nick and I went out the other day. The other night, the wine was flowing. And Georgina's like, one of the best parts about being a mom is that you still get the parent, like, while hungover. It's amazing. I'm crazy Georgina. I'm Georgina. But I also still have a lot of fun. My life is a disaster. My ex left me when I was 32 weeks pregnant. I'm alone with a toddler, a dog, a broken ankle. Don't even ask. In the cold of New York City. So I went a little crazy. I'm surprised I'm not on Snap.
A
They. They didn't say how she went crazy, but I feel like that's going to be something special for us. A little gift for us on a later episode, by the way.
B
When she went crazy, you mean?
A
Yeah. We don't know what she did when she went crazy.
B
Oh, yeah, I need to know. And I need to know, like, how she broke her ankle, too. Like, I would that have something to do with it?
A
It. She kicked in a window at the Capitol. She was a insurrectionist, wasn't she?
B
I went so crazy, I started tap dancing on a subway grate. Next thing you know, broken ankle, toddler on my shoulder, another one in my arms, another one on my belly. At least I don't have pores. You can't see my pores.
A
So, I mean, I wouldn't say it was crazy what I did. I mean, did I bum rush the stage at Les Mis and kick Jean Valjean in the nuts? And I said, you want to talk about Les Miserable? How about being dropped when you're 32 weeks pregnant? But, I mean, I thought that was fun for the audience, personally. Anyway, they fell off the stage Into a tuba and next, you know, broken ankle.
B
Yeah. So here's what we know so far. Lindsay was with a guy who dumped her, what, right after she had a baby? I guess.
A
Yep.
B
And then Georgina had a guy who left her at 32 weeks pregnant. We find out later that this Yvonne's husband is completely disinfect interested and checked out. Doesn't even know when she's out of town for a week. The men are not looking great on this show. I'm just gonna say, right, it looks like we're going to be carrying over the valley tradition of terrible men. If you're looking to this show for, like any hope in love and long term relationships, you're in the wrong place.
A
I mean, the good news for Yvonne is that, like, the breakup is trending sooner and sooner. So maybe she'll breakup with her man before there's even a baby situation. That would be nice.
B
Yeah.
A
Also, I, I just want to say rip, rip To Lindsay and Yvonne because we all know on a reality show when someone says so and so has been my best friend for 13 years, that is the beginning of the end of the friendship. And by season two, they will hate each other. So it's been lovely seeing you guys as great friends and we wish you the best.
B
Yeah, we see. We see past Yvonne in this episode, Danielle. And also, what happened to Gabby? I mean, I'm assuming she's still friends with Clancy, but why don't we ever see Gabby anywhere?
A
I was thinking that, why wasn't Gabby at Softbar? Honestly, why wasn't Mia at Softbar? Maya. Sorry, why wasn't Maya at Soft Bar?
B
Like, she's probably making my cookies that I never got.
A
Still, where was Jacqueline? The fit mom?
B
Never gonna let that go.
A
I know, but we did determine that they were stolen off of your porch, right?
B
I think they probably were because she, she actually did show me a mailing label. She's like, I'm swear to you, I'm trying to send you these cookies. And then we did have a lot of male theft in my neighborhood where, like, I was getting cards that were from my meemaw that were open. They were like taking the money out of my birthday card because, yes, I still was getting money for my. I was still getting $10 every year for my grandma, for my memaw. So, yeah, I think someone ate them and stole them. So that's really not her fault.
A
Fault.
B
It's probably if they were ever sent.
A
You know what? I think we both deserve to have a cookie today. I think that's what. What we've learned.
B
God, I would love a cookie. You know, I'm going to see about getting my waddle done this afternoon, and I'm so nervous about it. And the reason I have to get my waddle done, other than the fact that I'm old. Look, here's my waddle. But why are you nervous about it all the time? Because it's terrifying. They're going to cut. They're going to, like, cut my face. You know, I'm just scary. And also the reason I have a wadd lot of weight. I've lost almost £200 over the past four years. So I've lost a lot of weight, which is great, but it's left me just, like, hanging. So now I have, like, hanging stuff everywhere. So anyway, I'm going to get my waddle done, and I'm so nervous that all I've been thinking about all day is. Is cookies. And I'm like, but then you're going to gain the weight, and then you won't need the waddle then. But then that'll save me some money, but it'll also save me from getting my face cut. I don't. It's a whole conundrum.
A
Don't be nervous about getting your waddle done. I mean, Tamara gets her face done every six weeks. Okay. Like, this is just like, nothing.
B
I need to think about it like that, because the housewives really do. I mean, Kyle comes back with two faces a year now. She's had two faces this year on Beverly Hills, and they all look great. Like, how do you take the pain? How do you take it?
A
It'll be fine. It'll be fine. It'll be. You'll have a few days of. Of soreness, I'm sure.
B
I'm looking at Gabby's Instagram now. God, she's gorgeous. I love Gabby and I miss Gabby, and I want her back. Her first lies. Her first picture is dressed as Colonel Sanders from Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is funny. And then she's at a game of some kind. She's watching tennis. Oh, yeah, she loves tennis. And then the rest of them are her. Looking gorgeous. She has one of her and Lindsay, though, from. Let me see. Okay, so Lindsay's still friends with her, but that's from over a year ago, 62 weeks.
A
So I don't know, I kind of feel like Gabby. Once she left, they were like, okay, well, well, nice. Nice knowing you, Gabby. But I think I saw her in the background of something, actually, like, yesterday, which is why I was Thinking of her. So I know she still circulates around, but she was also. I don't know, I was a little surprised that we didn't see more Gabby.
B
Yeah, I want to know. Okay, I'm sorry. Back to the show, guys. Waddle. And Gabby aside, let's come back. So now we see we. Lindsay says she wants to show Gemma a strong female role model, and that does not require relying on a man, because clearly we can answer.
A
So now she's going to go to Brooklyn Fair, or as it's spelled on its sign, Bookland B apostrophe Klyn Fair. Because their sign is probably too fair.
B
Yeah.
A
But in true Manhattan fashion, it's too far to go to Brooklyn. So they go to a. The place is actually in Greenwich Village. It's like, this is exported from the far away. Imported from the far away land of Brooklyn. So she and Gemma and Amanda are strolling through this grocery store, and they're looking at all these different snacks. And Amanda's like, oh, my God. Does Gemma like these? My dogs love these snacks. I'm sorry. Amanda says that Amanda apparently has been feeding beets blended. Oh, it's blended beef. I thought it was blended beets. I thought, no, it's serving beef.
B
No, she's sending. She's. She's giving that to her dogs, which is very fancy for a dog talk. Blended beef in a bag. And, like, you suck the beef out. And she's like, does Gemma like those? And she's like, blended beef in a bag. She's like, yeah. She's like, no, no.
A
Wants to give their baby blended beef. Blended beef. It's like when a Brady Bunch family gets into a big fight. Blended beef. Think about it, and then you'll say, my giving gives. Gemma gives this side eye. Like, don't give me that blended beef.
B
Or she really does. Gemma. Gemma knows what was just said. And she's like, get this trick out of here.
A
And by the way, Amanda feeds the dog the beef. I'm like, did you? I hope you pay for that. Okay. Oh, it was a flashback. Never mind. I'm a disaster with recounting this scene. You would think I hadn't watched this, but I actually have watched it.
B
Sorry, I don't believe you don't remember exactly what happened in this grocery store scene.
A
Well, I thought it was beats. I thought it was beats. And I couldn't believe that Amanda was feeding beats to her dog. I didn't know that was a thing that dogs like. And then I thought when she was feet in my Mind when she was. When they showed her feeding the dog. It was happening in the grocery store, but that did not happen. It was a flashback.
B
Yeah, well, you know.
A
Can you believe my brain's rotting?
B
It's almost Friday. Kind of. Not really. So Amanda's like, so I haven't seen you since we left summer house. Like, oh, my God, that weekend was, like, so, so crazy. And Amanda tells her she stayed at a hotel for, like, two nights, which fixed nothing, you know? So Gemma is also looking at Amanda with the side eye, like, loser.
A
I know. Gemma's got it all right. Glad I got all the great reads. She really does.
B
She's like, glad I could skip time with the fun nanny to come hang out with sad sack Amanda over here. Hey, Amanda, why don't you tell her who you've been? Check this one.
A
I was this close to being able to put the square thing in this square hole. I swear, I had it almost figured out. And now a mom says I gotta come to the stupid Brooklyn Fair grocery store to watch this feed blended beef to her dog. Thanks a lot.
B
So Amanda's like, yeah, I just didn't want to fall into the old routine of going back to business. Nothing gets discussed. And we're going to couples counseling now, and I'm just back at the apartment. But she made a really weird comment in therapy. She was like, oh, so, like, you guys hate each other.
A
Lindsay's child's like, oh, my God, has she been listening to us?
B
Was your therapist Gemma?
A
Was your therapists anyone who has basic observation skills? Because, yes, that's correct. Amanda's like, yeah, I want some fruit. Okay. Also, after that, Kyle and I talked
B
in the park, and he said, like,
A
maybe I should get my own place. And so now we see them on a park. Lindsay.
B
But. But. But you met Amanda. I met Amanda. So, yeah, the. The shrink was like, I. I've been doing that today, too. I don't know why their voices are
A
a little bit the same when she. When Amanda's really in, like, sad sack mode. Her voice. When I try to do her voice, I sometimes teed her over into Lindsey Berg.
B
Yeah.
A
World.
B
So, yeah, the therapist said that she should get her own place. And so we see a flashback to a park bench with Amanda and Kyle arguing. And Amanda's like, I feel stupid for wanting you to change when you've showed no hope.
A
And he's like, show no hope.
B
Hope I can't continue to be in our home around you with the way that it's been going. If you're Gonna keep acting like this.
A
I gotta go.
B
I. We can't be in the same place. And it's like. So your solution is for me to move out? Well, yeah. I mean, isn't that the lover boy office is what? Like, isn't that where they have the lover boy offices as well? I was actually kind of surprised too that it's just automatically Kyle gets to keep the apartment. But I'm guessing it's because they have the lover boy offices next door or whatever.
A
But weird to be like, I need some time away, so I'm gonna start living in a hotel.
B
And then.
A
But now I'm gonna. Now actually I've decided I don't want to be here anymore. So you have to leave the house. Like it's a. Like it's a little weird. I don't know. I also am surprised she's saying like, your solution for me is to move out. I'm like, didn't originally want to ask me for space. I don't know. I don't understand sometimes. So.
B
Yeah, I just don't understand the diving of the property. You know, because if you own the apartment, which I don't think. I don't know if they. That would be like something that you divvy in a marriage. But maybe this is just a rental and so she can't afford the. Because that's got to be an expensive as apartment. Oh my God. So who knows?
A
Maybe that's why he asked her back rent. It was almost like a. Like this way, like. Well, no, but if it's a back rent, then he would pay her if he was taking over the place. And he should pay her.
B
No, not if she hasn't paid for three years.
A
No, no. But I'm saying theoretically, like you're buying someone out and be like, okay, this will be my space and you got to go to your place. But I also do contend that I don't think that she should pay rent. I really don't. I think if you're married, it's going to. Because they're. They're married. It's like it should be like the. The money. His money should be her money. Etc. Like you may have different.
B
But she said that they have. She said that they don't do it that way. And they keep all their. She said on summer house that they keep all their finances separate. So she doesn't know anything about his. Fine. Because they were asking her about lover boy and how this affects her and she's like, I don't care. Like our finances are Separate. That wouldn't affect me at all. So she's keeping all of her money and all of her influencing money. She makes money, Amanda. Like, we joke about her lack of work, but she makes a ton of money doing deals and stuff. So I don't know. I get it. I get it that, like, you're a couple and that, like, if he's gonna pay, he's gonna pay. But if someone, like, hates you and it's like, you constantly. Wouldn't you be like, well, you don't even pay rent because this goes back to this. Don't do anything. Like, you don't contribute anything. So who knows? Who knows what leads to this?
A
Oh, my God. I think it's still, like. It's not a roommate situation. I. I don't know. I think it's, like, a little weird, especially because she actually professed that she wanted to live in New Jersey, so I don't think she even wanted to live there in the first place. I don't know. I mean, people have different financial arrangements. I get that. It's not a hill. I'm really. I care too much about dying, and I just think it's weird. I think it's like, you guys are a couple and, like, make ultimately may have different accounts, may have different sources of income. You may keep your own. You may keep it separate or whatever, but it's still sort of like your joint thing. So I don't know. You know what? Who knows? God bless, I think.
B
I don't know. Yeah, well, I mean, I. I guess I think it's weird, too. I just don't know how it works or how it was separated. But. So anyway, they're arguing on the bench, and then she's telling Lindsay about this. And so Lindsay's like, so what did you say when he mentioned you getting your own place? And she's like, well, even Sierra had suggested me and him spending time apart, which is kind of funny because Sierra set this whole thing in motion really well, she.
A
Yeah, she just was the person to finally say what everyone else is probably thinking, right?
B
And so Lindsay's, like, over and over to both of them. Like, she really. She really hammered it into Amanda. Then look what happened.
A
Yikes. Well, you guys haven't been partners for a very long time. Like, you guys are just, like, now in couples therapy, tackling the resentment that Kyle has built up for years. But it might be too late. And Amanda looks at her like, what? Like, too late? Commercial. Here comes one right now. Between diets, workouts, and endless advice, it's hard to know what actually works for weight loss and what's worth your time. That's why hers offers access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications that now includes the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen.
B
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A
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A
And then we segue over to Central park where we see Andre, Alexi and Andrea. We are holding hands because he's a model and she's a model too and they're being models together walking through Central park. And Andrea's like, I remember the first time we came here together probably when we first started dating and I don't remember falling to my knees and go Lexi. Oh God.
B
It's like yeah in the beginning, right? He's like, oh call me romantic, whatever you want. But you know when you meet the one. And Lexi. Lexi is the real deal she's priceless, Lexi.
A
You know, she's a princess.
B
I should say, not priceless, but, you know, princesses are priceless as well.
A
I always dreamed of my friends charming. And we see a video sequence. We see her. They get. Getting married in a castle. And it's kind of funny because a lot of times on these shows, it's like. It's like ruler. And. And her. Her husband Brian, he's like, he's my Prince Charming. You're like, this guy's not Prince Charming. This is a. This is a fair case, I think, like, Andrea, strong case for the Prince Charming thing, because he is charming and he is hot. They got married in a castle. He's Italian, sexy accent. It's a fair case. Fair case for the Prince Charming here.
B
And she's like, yeah, I could spend every second of my day with Andrea. I used to dream about getting married at Disney World in the princess castle. And then when I got married to Andrea, it was in a real castle, but in Italy. And I was like, where's the Matterhorn? And they were like, that's. This isn't Disneyland. And I was like, but where's Epcot Center? They're like, it's not Disney World either. And I was like, where am I? Where am I? But then they explained to me what Italy was.
A
And then we see their wedding, their photos, and how everyone was there. And then Andrea's like, oh, baby Gemma was there. Everyone was there, even baby Gemma, because. But Gemma was in Lindsay's belly at the time. But that was just a rumor at the time. But then Danielle caught the bouquet, so you never know. She might be next Alexi. And then we go to a tennis court, and there's Danielle.
B
Married people. It's just Andrea acts like married people do when they get married, and they're
A
like, oh, oh, who's next to get married?
B
Like, they're so desperate to pull you into their cult. You know, it's like when someone gets a heroin addiction, and they're like, just try it. Just try it. Like, you know, mistress company. I don't know what it is, but they just want to drag you in there. Second they do it, they're like, when are you getting married? When are you having a baby? Come on. Water's warm.
A
So then we go over to this tennis court where Danielle is playing tennis with her man Owen, spelled E, O, I, n. And Danielle, founder slash influencer. Founder of. What was the name of her app? It was something like.
B
I don't know, like, Don.
A
It was like Dawn Decked Dawn, I think. I think it was D, O, N, N E. Dawn.
B
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's. You've got a good memory.
A
Don't name a nap after funny.
B
All you have to do is husband. All you really had to do is remove a. Remove one end for it to be a future prediction.
A
Yeah, worked out really well. So Danielle is like, tennis is expensive, so to get lessons for free from this guy over here, he's like, what? What do you mean, for free? Oh, my God. Owen is amazing at tennis, and he's also my boyfriend, and we met nine years ago ago, and then life happened, AKA fame and other relationships, and I guess you could say he slid back into my DMS. Yeah, I sled back into your DMs. Well, I guess. I guess you could say you slid back so I said it. No, it's an expression. You don't actually have to say. If I say, I guess you could say I slid back into your DMs, you don't have to then say, I slid back in the DMs. But you said you wanted me to say it.
B
I slid it. What you want me to do? You want me to slide in or slide out? Which way do you want me to go?
A
I'm so happy. I love this man.
B
She's like, I'm trying tennis. You have to try my things, too. He goes, well, we can make a couple of shitty apps if you want. She's like, oh, yeah, okay. Okay. Well, guess what? It's time to start making babies, because I'm 37, and I'd love to have a baby by 38. Come on, come on. Whoa, whoa. Slow down. You've been dating this man a second.
A
But that being said, she is pregnant. Pregnant. So he's like, well, if you want to do it, I'd love to do it with you, and I want to do it with you. And she's like, well, I definitely want to be engaged before that. So I don't know. My dream engagement. We're on the lir. We're about to pull up to the Hamptons. The train has a emergency. We're stopped. We're stuck there. He gets down on one knee. One knee is in a piece of gum, the other foot is in a puddle of beer. And he says, daniel, yell, will you marry me? God, I would hope that happens to me.
B
Please. Then he slips a pie chart on my finger. So she's like, oh, God, I would love to be able to share this with Lindsay. But, like, last time I spoke with Lindsay, it was like, probably like four months ago. It was weird because, like, we've known each other so long. I mean, God, I took a glass to the chest for her. Sierra throwing the red wine glass. Danielle's chest. And she's like. I'm like, what did I do? Oh, gee, I don't know, Danielle. Maybe watch the last couple of seasons you were on.
A
Yeah.
B
What did you do? Do you have a TV now?
A
Let's go to Tribeca. Up and coming, Tribeca. And we see this guy, Kenny, and he jaywalks. He gets honked at, as he should. And this is Kyle's friend slash venture capitalist. Guys, the people that are making America great, the venture capitalists. Don't we love to see what they do to all of our favorite brands? Oh. Ah. Finally, a real hero on this show
B
automatically fall in love with Kenny. Guys. He seems like a real great guy. So he sits down with Kyle, and Kyle tells us. Kenny and I met in the most stereotypical New York way. What? What would you.
A
Gay sex clubs. Oh, wait.
B
I was gonna say, I think it's different for our cultures.
A
We had a lot of mutual friends. We've known each other about each other for, like, that 10 years. Or we've known each other for 10 years. And he's like the epitome of. Well. And then Kenny goes, I'm a work hard, play hard guy. That's how we really relate because we both have businesses and we like to go out and drink and enjoy the city.
B
And the producer's like, why are you smirking, Kenny? And he's like, oh. I mean, Kyle can be a bit of a lush. Okay? So it's hard to tame that. But, you know, he does have a big personality. So I love Kyle so much. First thing I say about him on TV is that he's a fucking mush. But you gotta love him. That drunk idiot. Yeah. So Kenny says, I never thought I'd be the black guy from Michigan who ended up at the investment bank on Wall Street. But here I am, you know, and I'm 15 years later, I start believing I do belong. I left Wall street to become a venture capitalist investor and ended up investing in lover boy. Ouch. Am I right? Okay, so they can all be winners. Start off there.
A
Okay, so you're saying you're not a good venture capitalist, right? So then Kenny is like, well, so what's going on with your business? And guys like, I had to lay off five people. Kenny's like, okay, well, at a certain point, dude, just like, punta, right? He's like, if I could have sold it, I would have. So Kyle says that like, at one point he was promising a 25x return on, on everyone's investments, but now he basically is like, like, I'm on the verge of going out of business. I. I don't know how he's gonna sell his company if he keeps on going on TV saying how bad it is.
B
But he is the worst at PR for his company. Oh my gosh.
A
He's like, lover boy sucks.
B
Everybody hates it. Anybody want to buy it? Lover boys for sale. I guess I'll figure it out. Girl on the side of the road selling lemonade with a sign that just says piss. Piss five cents. Anybody? Any takers?
A
Kyle was just on a podcast this week and he was talking about, I guess when, when all this scandal broke out that people started buying Lover boy to support him. More like when he had the episode with Carl, he's like, I have no money. I'm dressed as an old man. I got no money. That a lot of people bought Lover Boy. So I think he's kind of leaning in now into like, keep it alive. Buy Lover boy. It's non profit by lover Boy out of pity.
B
So Kyle's like, you know, I appre. Kenny's like, you know, it's a hard place. Let's talk through it. Let's talk through the debt. I love to talk debt. And Kyle says, well, I appreciate your patience. You know, I need to communicate better both in my business and in my marriage. The summer's been a perfect storm. He's like, what? Oh, God, now what's going on with you and Amanda? And he's like, oh, geez, normally, whatever, no matter what, we come together at the end, you know, we leave together at the end of the summer. But she just went to a hotel and I went home solo. And Kenny tells us, yeah, you know, Amanda's a. Or he tells Kyle that Amanda's a great person, but, you know, she's never really been able to meet you where you're at, which is, you know, at the corner of alcohol and ism. And, you know, I think you really deserve somebody who can just get shitfaced with you day in and day out. You know, I mean, you had to go to friendsgiving solo.
A
Yeah. And like, that doesn't go unnoticed. Okay. When you show up and you've only got one. One container of sweet potatoes with you, I mean, that's just sad. And I just feel like three years ago you gave me a similar update as far as Your marriage. And like, you have to ask yourself, if the people that you both aren't met today would you still choose to be with each other? Don't do. I already talked about the version stuff. Don't bring up the versions. Because you know what? Whitney wakes up every day with the zest for life. She's got great energy. I love Whitney.
B
When he said this, I immediately said, let me guess this. She's a model that's younger than you, and you've been with her for five minutes. You gotta love like this. This is so. Guys. Like this. Oh, you need someone like mine. She's always so happy. What a zest for life. Yeah, because you haven't sucked it out of her yet. Let's see by the time you're done with her. Let's see in year three how this is going.
A
Buddy, who actually even says that someone has a zest for life? Are we like in 1952? Well, she has a real zest for life. Have.
B
Okay, sounds like.
A
Like.
B
Like.
A
Oh, wow.
B
I found the perfect woman. Always happy, never argues with me, and has a zest for life.
A
Yeah. So here comes Whitney, and of course she is gorgeous, tall, gorgeous lady with a dog. And she's like, hello, I'm from Minnesota. And I just. I'm just a sucker for love. I love love. Doesn't matter. She says she's from Minnesota, so it's in her. It'll come out. Just. I'm meant to be a mom and a wife in a hot dish maker baker. Okay. That's why I did the Bachelor. Of course, it was Minnesota Bachelor, so I just wound up dating a bunch of pine trees. But it's okay.
B
A lot of cheese. I dated a lot of cheese curds that season.
A
Yeah, it's. Yeah, that's okay. Luke for governor or whatever he's running for. I really. By the way, yes on Luke, no on Spencer Pratt. Just want to say that I really wanted to find love. So I was one of eight of the original 30 girls that lasted. And it was scary moving across the country for someone who for the first time. But I wouldn't do it if I didn't believe Kenny was my person. Or at least pretty wealthy.
B
Wow, what a coincidence. An ex Bachelor contestant shows up to move in with her boyfriend the same week they start shooting a TV show. This is crazy. I'm sure it's love, Whitney. I'm sure it's love with. Apparently. I recapped her season on the podcast. I used to do rose pricks about the Bachelor, but I I don't remember Whitney at all, so I don't know that that bodes well. But, you know, I also don't remember things, so who knows? So Kenny's like, yeah, she's happy and positive, but my fear is not working out or me hurting her in some kind of a way. Because you know, there when. Whenever there's that initial spark or that like, oh, I found my person. And Carl goes, yeah, instant boner. And he goes, yeah. But for me, like, is she the one? It's tricky.
A
He's like, not instant boner owner. Yeah, because like. Oh, yeah, okay, sure. So now we go to a place that was named after a lovely lady who had a place called Edna's Edibles. They go to a bar called the Garrett. And it's a speakeasy that is behind five guys in the West Village. And Kenya's like, Garrett is a New York institution. It's a speakeasy that also sells really delicious brownies and cookies. And it requires you to go through a burger shop just to get there. And I love it. And I'm not just saying that because my friend owns it it.
B
And I'm passing Blair.
A
Apparently George Clooney used to come in here all the time.
B
So we see that this is owned by Gavin and this is Garrett.
A
Oh, Gavin. Sorry, Gavin is owned by Gavin.
B
Yes. And Nick. Yvonne says husband. So these are two guys on the show and.
A
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Two guys in nightlife? Well, I'll tell you one thing. Yvonne and Nick, that is a forever couple right there. Knowing that she's married to a guy who's in nightlife.
B
This is gonna totally work, guys. I assumed that he was like a metal worker in Brooklyn or something. From the previews, doesn't it look like. Why? Why did I think that? Looks like they're like in a Brooklyn loft or like an antique store or something. I didn't know advertising.
A
He sort of had the look of someone who's like pitching, you know, some sort of like non exciting advertising thing. Like a marketing plan for some B2B thing, like information systems. That way tuna canning company knows how to reach their customers better. I don't know, like he just.
B
Well, so that job that you just described, I have as much interest for that as Nick shows an Evon, basically. If that explains it to anybody, she's
A
like the tuna canning distribution marketing firm to him.
B
So Nick's like, yeah, our friend group has made of a lot of people in different situations, which is amazing. It's amazing. And everyone's like, yeah. We met Andrea and Lexi through Lindsay and realize our lives are like, very similar to theirs. We got married within a few months. Months of each other. Like, we're talking about starting families. They're going to probably actually do it. Nick is going to pretend he has a cold and disappear someplace for months at a time, not tell me where he's going. So it's going great for. But similar, similar, similar couples is what I'm saying.
A
So, yes. So they're all gathering. This is their CMOS fire. It's their cheers. It's their whatever bar people go to too, in pop culture. And it's the. Is there a central perk softbar with booze, softball. Central Park Central soft. They're all, Wait, everyone's gathering at the Garrett. And then like, where is a cop? Where's Kyle? Where car? And Amanda. Well, guess what, Khan. Amanda have just emerged from the subway tunnel and they. They come upstairs and Kyle's like, well, not the greatest sign that the therapist wanted to meet us again tomorrow. And also said, seriously, you guys get better divorce. Otherwise I'm hanging up by my therapist go. And going into an artist commune. Not a good sign. Amanda. That's.
B
It's funny. The therapist who just told them, oh, my God, you guys hate each other. Yeah, you should probably come in tomorrow and the next day, you know, you just want to sleep here. Why don't you guys just sleep here?
A
Okay?
B
You should. Don't leave. How about this? Don't leave therapy.
A
I'm just gonna press play on this video and I'm gonna walk out. And by the time it's done, I will have moved to a different city. I'm just. I'm not doing this anymore, guys.
B
I've become a pottery person. Quit therapy.
A
I'm in Santa Fe.
B
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've got a poncho. Bye. Did you know Shirley McLean is actually a very nice lady? Anyway, I'm done being a therapist. Get out.
A
Who's that? Who's that? Shirley McLean. Jihad.
B
She lives in Santa Fe. It's very spiritual. So Amanda's like, yeah, we're moving backwards. Her words. And we're supposed to be taking actions to move things in the right direction. But you go deep DJ at a gig until two, and then you go out after, and then you're home at 4 o' clock in the morning the day we have therapy, like, had it with him. She's like, I'm trying to make this work. I'm trying to make it work. So we don't call it quiz but you're not giving me any help. Listen, if the only way to make this work is for Kyle to not DJ and go out all night, it's not gonna work. So either you change or Kyle changes another one if he wants to. And it.
A
I mean, so are the people of Nyack just supposed to, like, not dance? You know, I gotta help the people. Oh, I'm sorry.
B
Foot tight.
A
Oh, I'm sorry. I guess the people of Tapan don't deserve any sort of music in their lives. Okay, I'll just stay in with you. Good luck, everyone. Sorry I had to drive over the Como Bridge.
B
Listen, don't leave Hoboken. Hopeless, okay? And Amanda is like, I'm trying to make it work. I'm like, sweating. I have to do Kyle. He goes, goes, well, you're wearing a raincoat in the summer. It's like.
A
It's not a raincoat. Oh, well, it looks like it's a tricky coat. It was just like a trench dress kind of thing. She goes, I don't know what you want. Well, I want some sort of apparel that makes some sort of sense. Like if you want to wear a rainco, wear a raincoat. But don't wear something that looks like a rainco but it's not a rainbow. Like, what's even the point of that? That's like booking a gig in Union, New Jersey and then having to stay home. I mean, look at the name unions in it. Supposed to strengthen our union. Why don't you get Amanda? We're both struggling in our own ways and I just want to be happy and I want to be with you and I want. I want you to be with me.
B
Well, I mean, I'm in therapy with you. I'm making an effort. I'm not going backwards. It's like, God, can we just go?
A
She.
B
I'm not going to go meet you guys out. I'm exhausted and I'm not going to put on a face for our friends. I'm going home. Consider this friendsgiving. And every other day for the past 10 years off,
A
consider this friends getting you and not me. Bye. So then he's like, okay, so now we go back to the Garrett. And now it says Whitney gets to know the New York girls as they talk. Whitney? Which one was Whitney? Was Whitney the Minnesota one?
B
She's the new model from Minnesota.
A
Okay. And so everyone's like talking and Lindsay is talking to Kenny and she's like, so how long have you and Winnie been dating? He's like, probably about a year. But we took it slow for a while because why would you ever go fast when you've got, like, a gorgeous supermodel who wants nothing but to just be around you? God. Red flag. Yeah.
B
You know, we. We met it. We started dating a year ago, but it took me about 11 months to realize nobody else wanted to fuck me. So I said, sure. Come on. Want to be on a TV show?
A
So Gavin's like, well, Kenny was going around being a playboy with me. And so Kenny's like, okay, don't do that to me on tv, all right? I'm not a playboy. I'm not a fuckboy. I'm not gonna fall into that trap. So let me pull out this card. Let me be very clear. My mother was passing, so I wasn't the best version of myself. I am now insulated from boy rumors, thank you very much.
B
I no longer have a sick mother, so I'm not as horny. Duh.
A
So Ryan, who's Lindsay's friend, is there, and he's like, what stage of grief is the fuckboy stage? And then Kenny is like, honestly, she's a doll. And we're seeing. Look, she's a doll with a zest for life, and we're just gonna see where it goes. Oh, God.
B
Him calling her a doll when I feel like that's literally how he's gonna be treating her and that. You can just read it all over this guy. You can just tell in his towards her that he's looking condescending.
A
Doll.
B
A doll.
A
He's gonna be condescending to her and then get her gifts when he feels bad.
B
Yeah. And when she has a problem, he's going to be like, what? You used to be so happy and joyful. What is this? It's like you hit this part of yourself from me. I just see it coming. So Lindsay's like, she moved across the country before a ring as a girl. That's a lot. Lindsay, you had a baby with a man you knew for five minutes.
A
Come on. I know.
B
I mean, you're not necessarily wrong, but you are also Lindsay. So out. Like.
A
Yeah, exactly. We sat through a season of straw. Okay? So Kenny is. Kenny goes, whoa, whoa. Lindsay, I'm getting I hate men vibes, which, by the way, like, literally, there's no vibe whatsoever that Lindsay is giving of that. I think Lindsay loves men, to be honest. And Kenny, for Kenny to be, like, the moment that there's any sort of, like, push back, like, oh, man hater.
B
Man hater.
A
I'm like, you, sir. You and your VC ways. You're on my radar right now.
B
Yeah. But by the way, you are giving me those vibes, Kenny. That's like, literally the vibes I'm getting right now.
A
I hate man hater.
B
Just. Yes, I'm getting those. As I watch Kenny, I'm like, I think I might hate men. Of course, this is right after Summer House, and I just watched the Valley, so I've had a whole. I've had a whole day of these fucking men. So Lindsay, he's like, I'm just allergic to annoying men. Which I like. She's not going to take his for two seconds. So I like, it's like they brought somebody on for Lindsay to beat up.
A
Yep. And he's like, you don't have to be engaged to move in together. Like a news flash. I'm just saying it's a big commitment when you're moving across the country for someone. And she's basically saying, for someone who probably is not going to take this seriously. I think that's what she's saying. Thing.
B
Yeah. And, well, it sounded to me like she's saying, be nice to her because that's a huge move. Like, take this seriously and be good to her. And he's. Whitney's like, well, this is like a very expensive chapter for us, so it's nice to do a slow and not all at once. And Kenny's like, yeah, we know what we're doing. We're not rushing it. So Lindsay says, yeah, I'm just trying to get to know Kenny. So, like, if you're feeling pressed by me when I'm asking, like, very generic questions, that sounds like.
A
So Gavin's like, are you feeling attacked right now? He's like, well, I mean, there's a panel of people in front of us, and everyone just like, laughs. And so then Kyle arrives and he's like, man is not gonna be here, by the way. And Lindsay's like, okay, so let's like, talk. Like, Amanda told me after the house. Like, she stayed in a hotel for two days. Like, how does that make you feel? Do you know what type of hotel was it? Was it good? Was a good hotel? He's like, well, despite our ups and downs, we've never not left the Hamptons together. I'm getting more and more confused by our couples therapy. Therapy. Well, therapy is confusing because you're unpacking gears of issues that have gone on addressed. But you could also just watch the show that you've been on to know exactly that your relationship assumed. Yeah, you're Fine.
B
And so Danielle comes in and Trixie sings. I bet you miss me, miss me. I bet you miss me, don't you?
A
The Danielle anthem that America sings whenever she shows up. There she is. Who's that girl?
B
I gotta pee. So she leaves. And then Yvonne's like, oh, my God, are you gonna talk to Danielle? It's like, no, I'm sick of giving passes. I don't need negative competitive energy in my life. Unless it's Gemma.
A
So she's like, every year it's like, something. Let me just, like, pull up all the ways that Daniel has annoyed me. And so she pulls out a phone and the producers look like, wait, you have a list on your phone? She's like, yeah, I have it in my phone. I'm like, she's crazy. Meanwhile, I did stay up to 1am writing down a list of things that Danny Zuko has done for the past two years on the Valley, but whatever. So then Lindsay is like, I can't
B
wait till I get there.
A
I know I am not using my time properly. Lindsay's like, season four, Carl and I try. Try to date. And then one week later, she's giving my hand job in the back of an Uber. And then season seven, do I just really need to talk about the engagement? I mean, just flashback already. And then you see Danielle's crazy reaction to the engagement.
B
So back to the bar. Danielle's like, she has a new home and I have a new man and all this stuff that's like a big deal. Like, I'm not sharing it with my once best friend. That's crazy. Kyle. He's like, yeah, right, right. Okay, right, right, right. So Lindsay's like, I don't even know that guy's name. Name. Like Owen. On, off. Like, what's his name?
A
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Hi, it's Danielle, founder of Saying hello. I just want to say hi. And, you know, I was wondering if maybe you want. Might be open to getting lunch or coffee or getting the D. Sorry. Reflex. But next week or something. Like whenever you're free.
B
Whenever.
A
Or not free or whenever you. You would maybe want to. Should I just go through Gemma? She your calendar? I don't know. What should I do?
B
Can I think about it? Because I'm a little bit busy these days. It's like, dun, dun, dun. And Danielle's like, like, with a newborn. I'm here. Yeah, okay. No, no, I get it.
A
Okay, bye.
B
Danielle just runs the hell out of there.
A
Yeah, I was like, I don't really get the issue. Do so many things. And then she goes through, like, her list of, you know, issues, grievances, and so Kyle's like, well, first of all, hand jobs suck. So just in general, I'm just saying, like, that really sucks. By the way, to be fair, Danielle was with Carl before Carl was with Lindsay, so there may have been enough time passed that. That doesn't.
B
Well, she wasn't with him. She hooked up with them, right?
A
I think they dated.
B
Oh, really?
A
I think they full on dated. I don't know.
B
It's not that I thought that they just, like, hooked up or something. And then Lindsay, like, dated Carl and. But Lindsay didn't care about any of that when that was happening. Like, she didn't. She's adding this to her list now. Like, this is what a shitty person Danielle was. But she didn't care about that then because they were all running around together all the time and were much more casual about sex and hooking up and stuff at that time anyway. So as least that's how I remember. I remember her not really caring. She.
A
I remember this dating thing wasn't even. It was like, basically he fingered her, and then they're like, man, we should have a relationship now that you fingered me. And then, like, it lasted like one night on, like a rooftop, and they had that weird fight and then it dissolved.
B
Yeah, that's how I remember it to you. But, yeah, Lindsay's pissed, so she's going to make a list, and if you're on it, she's going to put everything you've ever done done onto that onto that list. So Kyle's like, yeah, hand jobs suck, but I would pay a lot of money for a hand job. And I have to agree, I'm not really a big hand job person. So then I know that everybody was wondering, so there you go, everybody. Guess what? Not to get me for Christmas. Hand job. Thank you. So we go to Tribeca now, and Yvonne and Lindsay are going to Georgina's dermatology office to get her for girls night. Yeah. Lindsay's like, you don't have clothes. Just come in your scrubs. And she's like, are you kidding? I have like, like everything in here. I have, like, a human abode.
A
Look at this.
B
I have dresses, condoms, lollipops. Like, what else do you need, you
A
guys, it's so refreshing to have mom friends. Like, Georgina just gets it. She has, like, a full dermatology practice. Tribeca, I love my mom friends. Oh, sorry, Yvonne. Yvonne's like, thanks a lot. Thanks for rubbing that into me. That and we don't have a child yet. So Georgina says, a lot of the time, I'm like, look how cool I am living in Tribeca Germ, raising kids, restraining order, Cast of lame is like, look at me. I'm doing it all. And then, like, there are other times where I'm like, my daughter Eloise, of course my daughter's name is Eloise, by the way. Of course my name's Georgina. How do I not have a daughter named Eloise? She looks me dead in the eye and says. She's like, just takes a bite of dog food. So, yeah, you know what I did? I just looked at that nutrition, the nutritional facts, and said, you go, girl. Have that dog treat. Go nuts.
B
That's pure protein. So Georgina does, in fact, have a cute little dog dress in a cabinet that she can pull out to go out, which I loved. And Lindsay's like, oh, my God, Mil city. So now we get girl pods. We're girls going out. We're girls who are going out. And so Lindsay, Georgina, and Yvonne sit in the corner and chat, and Amanda's on her way, and Lindsay's like, things with her and Kyle are not good. Like, they're just living very separate lives. And he was telling me that she hasn't paid rent in three years.
A
And Ivan's like, and he didn't care. No. But then he tallied it all up and Charger last week. I.
B
You not.
A
And we see a flashback. Yeah, maybe see a flashback of Amanda. By the way, if you're. If your marriage is crumbling, you're trying to save it, maybe don't invoice your wife for back rent. I don't know. But Amanda is. Yeah, she basically says, like, she paid, like, $117,000 to Kyle. So now Amanda shows up to this rooftop bar, and Lindsay's like, I'm not gonna lie. I was catching them up on you
B
were talking about you. Y.
A
Like, okay, well, rule one, though, of the night. No talking about me or anything bad. I want to hear about your problems. I need the gossip, I need the tea. I need the drama.
B
I don't want to talk about me. Okay, so my plans with Nick. Oh, God. I didn't mean Yvonne. Can anybody else go? Sounds like. Yeah, well, Nick and I. Like, he's decided he's not ready to. To be a dad. Oh, my God. Is he not ready or just nervous? He's a great dog, dad. Well, I mean, you know how that works, don't you?
A
Nick and I have a great relationship, but when we first Got married, like, hit a few bumps in the road, but. And I was under the impression that we wanted to start trying for a family, but he would consistently push off the conversation. So I was so annoyed with him that I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna go to San Diego. Go. And just not tell him. So I hopped on a plane, got a week long pass for the San Diego Z, saw some pandas, fed a giraffe, and guess what? He didn't even notice. And like, I'm like, hello, I'm not there. I had to like show him a few true crime docs afterwards because I'm like, if something happened to me, he'd be the first person under investigation. Like, this is wild.
B
It's crazy that the Valley is also in San Diego celebrating terrible marriages. It's like San Diego's really not winning in the terrible marriage race. It's not, it's not, it's not. It's not a great moment for Sandy Diego. So Amanda's like, it's always the man that's a problem. I mean, just start turkey basting. Just put a sperm in a turkey maester. So like, Katie was telling me about Danielle. Guys. Okay, gather round. I've got really good gossip. So apparently Danielle just moved in with this guy that's still marrying. And we see a Bravo and cocktails headline. Summer house Homewrecker, Lindsay's former BFF having an affair.
A
She was talking about having kids with him in the fall. And like, what? You're blowing my mind right now.
B
You need to stop.
A
And they're like, it's so hypocritical who does that? So I mean, there is like the one element to this is like, it is crazy that Amanda is the one clocking this when she's, you know, about to be. She is married and she's gonna be, you know, in a relationship with Wes or if she isn't already. But I guess the, the part of it is that like a man, I mean, Danielle was. Had lots of opinions about things moving too fast or timelines, etc. Etc. With Lindsay. And then here she is.
B
Yeah.
A
Jacking up with a married guy.
B
Yep. So then we go to Chelsea living room, I guess that's a. The name of a restaurant. And Amanda and Kyle go for a wedding anniversary scene. This is gonna end well. Well, you already know. This is, this is going to be great. So Kyle's like, yeah, it's been a year since we've been on an actual date, but there's no way we're not doing something on our anniversary. I'm feeling optimistic because, you know, we made a little progress from just a few weeks ago. Really? You were just told by the therapist you hate each other, and you need to come to therapy every day.
A
Let me tell you something. Every time he says we made progress, it reminds me of, like, when I'm, like, installing an app on, like, my phone or on my computer, and I get a progress bar, and then it just, like, stalls out midway through. And I keep on looking at it, and I start convincing myself that it's actually moved forward a few millimeters. I'm like, it's. Yeah, no, it's moving. It's. No, it's not stuck. It's. It's going. It's going. Everything's fine. We made some progress here. It's. It's going to install. It's like, no, there's a glitch in the system, and you're just hanging. It's over. You have to reboot.
B
You got to reboot. Got to reboot, baby. Time to upgrade the vomit own. So Amanda's like, yeah, we're celebrating. The fact that anyone said we wouldn't make it to three years without getting divorced was wrong. We made it to four.
A
Well, I know therapy has been no walk in the park, even though we actually did kind of walk in the park afterwards and sat down on a bench. But, you know, whatever. I appreciate you doing it with me, and I just want you to feel like we're moving forward in therapy. Yeah, well. Well, do you feel like we are? Because our therapists literally burned down her office building. She said, I can't do it anymore. I'm broken. Please let me never see these people again. I won't even turn on the tv. So I don't know if we're doing so well with therapy.
B
I don't remember if I gave them three years or five, but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, did I give them three years? Like, I was. Do you ever feel like that? Like, is the TV talking back to me personally? Some of these.
A
Someone. One of our great listeners will probably find the prediction just, you know, use some sort of AI bot to look up the transcript.
B
Yeah. If anyone. If anyone comes across that episode while you're doing a relisten, let me know, because I know people are right now because of the. The scandal. So Kyle's like, yeah, you know, therapy hasn't been a walk in the park. And she. But we're doing great. And she's like, Are we though? Because, like, I've. I felt lower than I felt in a really long time. Like, how can I be married to somebody who doesn't even know what a raincoat dress looks like?
A
Well, it hasn't been easy. Well, I know, but like. No, seriously, because it's like. Normally I think of raincoats as just being yellow and shiny and thin. So it's like, why is it even like. I don't know, it's like it's fashion's like really difficult. Like maybe there's a raincoat even think
B
it's a raincoat or does it think it's a dress? The questions that keep me up at night.
A
Do they have umbrella dresses? Kyle, I just. It's just not going the way I really wanted to. I'm. I'm gonna move out. Wow. Great time to announce it on the anniversary. Yeah. At least have one final.
B
Jesus, the man just charged you for back rent. You think he's not going to make you pay this dinner bill? You could have done this for free. Do whatever slices, you know what I mean? Jeez. So she's like. And I don't mean permanent, like, this is like a month maybe, like to be. Make things better between us. Cuz I want to stay together and spend time together like this. It's just hard to have west over if you're in the apartment.
A
Yeah, just. It's just like, you know, you go to my place, I go to your place and we can have date nights and like spend time together and like, maybe not spend time together. He's like, what? It's a lot to swallow, but I'm trying to be open and understanding and. Can you just promise me this if I. If I agree to this?
B
Like, no, it's not your blessing. It's not your blessing kind. It's not a matter of agreement. No, it's my decision.
A
No. And I. I did love that she said that. It's like, it's not your choice, but it is. It's her choice and it's her indisputable choice to move out. But it's all. But it. He would have to agree to this whole, like, we now date each other. If he's like, I don't know. If you move out, it's done. Right. Like, so he does have something to agree to here. Yeah.
B
I think he's just like, okay, it's all you. She's like, whatever. He's like, well, I'm just, you know, I'm just. I'm not sold on this situation. The solution, you know, it feels extreme. I've never heard of a couple like separating, you know, to make things better. But maybe it's what we need. I don't know.
A
Hello. It's like all like the cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey. It was like Jackie and her. Jackie's parents. Dolores. Dolores's parents. I feel like that's like the constant thing that everyone has different houses.
B
That's a new way. So then some older squad shows up,
A
the hackies and blue button downs and white T shirts.
B
Yeah. Come over and say, hey, guys, it's our anniversary. And they're like, wow, happy anniversary. And she's like, yeah, it's going great. God, you're such an. Why are you even doing this? Amanda, just send him an email. Like, don't take the guy out on his anniversary. Dump him and then kind of mock him with other dudes.
A
Like, is this arc Sort of kills me me that she does. Like, that does kill me a little bit. So anyway, it's good to see that in the city is. Yeah. Looks like we've got all the pieces in play for a nice toxic season. We'll see how it unfolds. And next week we are gonna finally get into the summer house reunion and the with more in the city. So Tuesday nights are gonna be going off. But don't worry, don't worry, don't worry if all this toxicity is too much for you, you. The good news is the valley is up next. So, you know, God help us. God help us. Sunshine and rainbows.
B
That show is close to irredeemable at this point. But we'll see, we'll see tomorrow.
A
I think it's better now. I think it's great.
B
But anyway, okay, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.
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Episode Title: In the City S1E1: Time for the Fall
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: May 20, 2026
Ben and Ronnie dive into the premiere of Bravo's latest spinoff, In the City, dubbed "the Valley for Summer House," following a new group of ambitious, stylish New Yorkers navigating friendships, romance, career drama, and plenty of Bravo-style chaos. The recap revels in comparing Bravo franchises, dissecting messy relationships (especially Kyle and Amanda’s post-breakup drama), the cast’s professions (real or not), and the show’s focus on the triumphs and defeats of modern adulthood. The hosts praise the show’s higher-glam setting while delivering their signature mix of snark and enthusiasm.
Best Quote to Summarize the Episode:
"It looks like we've got all the pieces in play for a nice toxic season. We'll see how it unfolds." – Ben (85:44)