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Skyrizi Ad Voice
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Skyrizi Safety Voice
Don't use if allergic to Skyrizi. Serious allergic reactions, increased infections or lower ability to fight them may occur before treatment. Get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor about any flu like symptoms or vaccines.
Skyrizi Ad Voice
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Paige (Giggly Squad)
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Ben Mandelker
Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much. That happens? Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love, love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?
Ronnie Caram
Hello, how are you?
Ben Mandelker
I am doing just great. Today we are talking about the Valley. Next week we have two nights of music and joy. We're doing cabaret in New York City June 3rd June 5th. Two shows on June 5th and tickets are sold out but you can stream them. You can buy your tickets@watchwickrappins.com or using the link on our social media. Tickets for streaming are available until showtime at which point the ticket link is no longer available but you can still stream for a week after. Also join us on Patreon and join us every Monday, although not this Monday because we are going to be doing cabaret prep for Amazon Live. And that's all the fun stuff for today. Let's get into the Valley. Ronnie, what did you think about the latest episode of the Valley.
Ronnie Caram
Boring. Oh, the show needs some help. The show needs some help. Get a new crazy couple in there. Get rid of a couple of them. Get a crazy new couple in there. Let's do this. Okay. Let's get this show back. Come on. So I believe in you guys. Sacks having fun though. You gotta have it to that. You gotta hand it to Zach. Zach will have fun in any room. Zach probably that guy who has fun at a funeral. You know, he'll have a good time anywhere, but oof.
Ben Mandelker
Well, because he's probably just walking around a show being like, look at all these crazy straight people. Yeah, I mean, I, I, I mean, I'm definitely enjoying it, I think more than you are. I, I, I like it. I've been perfectly happy with it this season, but I know I'm in the minority. I did have a Valley celebrity sighting over the weekend. I saw the one and only Michelle Lally walking down the street. She was walking with Isabella. So I don't know if I would have said anything to Michelle anyway, but I definitely didn't want to say anything with Isabella there because I was like, there's just nothing I could say to her about the show that I feel like wouldn't traumatize Isabella for life. Like, hey, I'm on your side with that wretched divorce you're in. Or hey, sorry to hear about that terrible thing that happened in your life on the latest episode. Because it's every episode. Oh, sorry about your, your dreams that you had to give up for gymnastics. But yeah, Michelle Lally. And of course I'm like starstruck. This is like how sad. This is, how low the bar is for me. I'm like, oh my God, there's Michelle Lolly. She's walking down the street. She's walking down Sycamore Avenue. It's very exciting.
Ronnie Caram
Really made it.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Michelle lollies in my hood.
Kristen
Cool.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. That was the only Valley sighting I had though. So that was the beginning and the end of the story. So Michelle Lolly sighting. She's alive, she's walking around.
Ronnie Caram
You're out there walking, walking around instead of just being plugged into one of those Tesla's parking spots.
Ben Mandelker
I know.
Ronnie Caram
Recharging, recharging for episode.
Ben Mandelker
She looked like she was at like a 67 charge.
Ronnie Caram
I would have to say, I must be plugged in soon. I use more power when I'm walking down Zigamore Street. Well, that's good. So here we are. The Valley Season 3 Episode 9 Dildev Do Us Bar oh, no, do tell. Deb do us. Barred.
Ben Mandelker
Debit. Do us. Barty was barred. What's kind of funny about this show is I'm noticing a creep back from the Valley. They're shooting more and more scenes on the other side of the hills, I've noticed, AKA not the Valley. And I'm like, this production just not want to go into the Valley anymore because we open up at Salty Girl, which is on the Sunset Strip, and they go to several places.
Ronnie Caram
It was good.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, we went there.
Ronnie Caram
It was really good, you know. Yeah, I've noticed that too. But I'm not gonna complain because we watched the Persian Valley and that they. They really are in the Valley most of the time and that those restaurants are just terrible. I mean, I was. I was triggered. I was lala. Triggered by some of the restaurant locations. Like, the Valley is getting a lot better with cute places. There's a lot of cute places out there now. And they for some reason don't shoot at those places. They only shoot at the ones that use Home Depot floor tiles on the walls and, you know, have flies bigger than fists flying around.
Ben Mandelker
That restaurant with the Home Depot tiles on the wall, I forgot which restaurant that was, but I don't think it was actually in the Valley. I think it was on this side.
Kristen
Oh, wow.
Ben Mandelker
A little bit of redemption.
Ronnie Caram
It's nice to see you guys getting some tasteless shit too.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Because I remember seeing what. What the restaurant was. I was like, that was the restaurant. But now I completely forgot what restaurant it was.
Ronnie Caram
Well, yeah, I've noticed that too. They're going back over the hill more. Know what? I will say this. It's not really helping the show. Here's what I noticed. Kristen, you know, after last week when Kristen was standing up for and this week standing up for Danny and apparently on the after show. I don't watch the after show, but apparently on the after show, she's really going hard for me and Danny too. And then last week when she was saying, you know, they're couples goals and I really want to be like them and just keep all. You keep your shit behind doors and then, you know, you have a different public facing face or whatever. And I've noticed that now, like this scene that we're about to recap is just very Kristen trying to be Nia and Danny where it's like, let's go to dinner and just talk about how happy we are. We're just going to have a happy little dinner. Get the out of here. I don't believe you. Okay. I. I do not Believe you. And when you come on national TV and say that, you're going to be faking it to try and be like Nia and Dani. What are you even doing here? Christian? Just. This is not why we watch you, Kristen. We watch you because you're a messy, messy, crazy person whose, you know, nutcase emotions are worn on their sleeve. I don't want. I don't want to watch a nice Kristen. This is. Get. Let go of this robot. Bring me Kristen back.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Oh, it's. It's gonna come back. It's gonna come back. She's just trying. She's just trying. She can never really keep it together like that effort. I guess now would also be a good time that I think, apparently, last week on our. Our valet recap, I started. I segued into calling Danny Danny Buco into Danny Zuko from Greece. So if any of you guys notice that it has been. It has been brought to my attention. Now, that would be funny if it was Danny Zuko from Greece.
Kristen
He.
Ronnie Caram
If, you know, his whole life, he just wanted to be cast as Danny Zuko, and never, ever was. He was always one of. He was always squeaky or whatever. Well, so that was from Laverne and Shirley, but was. Was squeaky in Greece.
Ben Mandelker
Squiggy. I don't know who Squiggy is.
Ronnie Caram
Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley. Isn't that his name? Squiggy?
Ben Mandelker
You know, I've never seen an episode of Laverne and Shirley.
Ronnie Caram
Guys, I've got huge news. David Lander, who played Squiggy, did not appear in the original movie or stage version of Grease. Wow. Are there any casting directors from the past who could call me to apologize? Because that was some missed casting right there. Okay, so let's get back to this. You haven't seen Greece. The is wrong with you? Do I need to come over there?
Ben Mandelker
No, no, no, no. I've just never seen Laverne and Shirley.
Ronnie Caram
Ben, that's.
Ben Mandelker
I know, but you know what? Growing up, we did not have cable, and we just had rabbit ears on our tv. And so we could only watch the. The TV channels that came in. And because my parents were, like, they didn't care about tv. And of course, as soon as I went up to college, they got DirecTV. They're like, oh, actually, we decided we want to have 500 channels. As, like, my childhood spent, like, watching ABC through, like, know, distortion. And so as a result, if sitcoms were played, if certain sitcoms were played on certain TV networks that I couldn't get in. I just couldn't watch them. We barely got PBS. I rarely watched Sesame street or Mr. Rogers as a child. I just couldn't see it. I, I, it wasn't. It wasn't available to me. It was like, it was an NBC, was the best channel that came in for me.
Ronnie Caram
Well, Mr. Rogers was a good one to miss. I think Everybody, like, kisses Mr. Rogers ass. Now they're like, oh, my God. Mr. Rogers, the hero of positive television. All that man was put on a goddamn sweater and sing like, creepy perv next door. That guy. If that guy was around a whole
Ben Mandelker
lot more than these guys on the Valley do.
Ronnie Caram
That's true. If that guy was around today, I think he would be arrested. He just seems very, like, creepy, like, bring me your children. No. Go. Get away from me, sweater man. Go over.
Ben Mandelker
But I did love that one puppet. That one lady puppet. Wasn't that, like, oh, yeah, that was the best puppet. I loved her.
Ronnie Caram
But the point is, Kristen and Luke have a really happy relationship. Guys. So they're at. They're at a date night. Kristen's like, I feel like my boobs are going to fall out.
Ben Mandelker
Oh.
Ronnie Caram
He's like, oh, those are my fun bags. Thanks for carrying them around for me. I really appreciate it.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, yeah. Well, you. You want to start with an artichoke? I don't know why. That just made me laugh. Kristen Doty's existential question of the week. Do you want to start with an artichoke? He's like, yeah, let's do an artichoke.
Ronnie Caram
How do you follow up? They're my fun bags.
Ben Mandelker
Do you want an art joke? Pretty. That's it.
Ronnie Caram
That's it. Ding, ding, ding.
Ben Mandelker
Correct answer. What's that snowman song? Do you want to play Build a snowman? Do you want to start with an artichoke? So, yes. So Luke is basically going to get some tin fish. And I felt bad for Kristen because I. I remember when I ordered a bunch of tinfish at that same restaurant, and everyone was like, really?
Ronnie Caram
So she's like, I also feel bad for Kristen because he's, like, taking her on date night. So he wants to get laid. Cause that's his whole storyline this season is wanting to get laid. And then he's gonna just sit there and munch on tin fish before he sticks his tongue down her throat. You know, this is. This is when you date a guy like Luke. This is what they do. You know, let's go on a date night so we can bone later, and I'm gonna eat tinned fish and oysters. And also, could you just, like, mush up some garlic and put it into a glass of really stinky wine for me? Oh, and for dessert, I'll have blue cheese. Great.
Ben Mandelker
So Kristen's like, well, I was stressed.
Ronnie Caram
I was.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, I was excited getting out of the house, but then I was stressed because Kai had spit up. So Luke is like, did you hear
Ronnie Caram
Luke call your boobs fun bags?
Ben Mandelker
Gaia was like, I said I wanted to start with an artichoke.
Ronnie Caram
Well, you know, the motherly instinct and the fatherly instinct are two different things. And that's like, something, you know, we can articulate. Because just like, when we talked in San Diego, like, I took it off my chest. That's all I wanted. I'm not asking you to be perfect or be different. Like, be you. And if there are times that anxiety makes you say things to you, she goes, it's always anxiety. That's always why.
Ben Mandelker
See? Yeah, well, it's nice to hear it sometimes. Instead of just like you assume, I always know that's what it is. Well, why don't you know? So their food shows up.
Ronnie Caram
How many times can I have an artichoke? I'm very anxious right now. Is that better?
Ben Mandelker
At least can I just get something that has a heart around here? I don't get it. It's artichoke humor. You would know if you liked them.
Ronnie Caram
Hold on, let me look at the nanny cam. Oh, she's just rocking. Ladies, stop stalking me. Let me do my goddamn job.
Ben Mandelker
Wait a second, Kristen. That's not Kaya. It's just an artichoke at home. Yeah, what's the problem with that? Hi, artichoke.
Ronnie Caram
I've got one of your cousins here. It's an artichoke. Your artichoke cousin is feeling anxious right now.
Ben Mandelker
Is this the artichoke I carried?
Ronnie Caram
I used to have one of those little cameras in my house for Bueller. Well, actually, I got it because one of my landlords was coming into my apartment and stealing weed, and I wanted to catch them. And I did, by the way, they didn't get fired or rebuy my weed, which was crazy. Anyway, what was the point? Oh, I kept it because I was like, oh, this is really neat. I can watch. Bueller had, like, a little speaker on it. And I. Oh, well, this is when I had Xena. Actually, it wasn't even Bueller. And I would be like, hey, Xena, what's up? And she start looking around the house. And finally she just got to the point, if this dog had the ability to raise her middle finger every time she heard. She did not want to hear my voice. She was like, leave me the fuck alone.
Ben Mandelker
You don't.
Ronnie Caram
You're here enough like, I don't get any breaks from you. Can I just sit here and lick my fingers, you know, private parts, without you coming over a loudspeaker, you dick.
Ben Mandelker
I assumed that you still had, like, a little camera when I went to your house yesterday. I just assumed I was on camera for you.
Ronnie Caram
Not in that room. I do. I do have cameras in there. But no, not.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I just figured you were like, you know, just to check in, make sure the place is okay.
Ronnie Caram
I'm like, ben's coming over to my house.
Ben Mandelker
I was like, I feel like I'm in Sliver. I don't know if you look at Carl Sliver. Oh, I'm on Sliver. I'm on Carl Sliver.
Kristen
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
Visit pura.com wholehome to get started.
Skyrizi Ad Voice
As a fitness coach. My active psoriatic arthritis can slow me down. With Skyrizi Risen Kizumab rza, I'm treating my skin and joint symptoms so I can keep moving. Skyrizi, a prescription only injection for adults, helps me move with less joint pain, stiffness, swelling and fatigue. And for those who have plaque psoriasis, 90% clearer skin is possible with Skyrizi. There's no daily dosing. It's just four doses a year. After two starter doses.
Skyrizi Safety Voice
Don't use if allergic to Skyrizi. Serious allergic reactions, increased infections or lower ability to fight them may occur before treatment. Get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor about any flu like symptoms or vaccines.
Skyrizi Ad Voice
Thanks to Skyrizi, there's nothing like clearer skin and better movement. And that means everything. Ask your doctor about Skyrizi. Visit skyrizi.com or call 1-866-Skyrizi to learn more.
Ronnie Caram
Okay, so now they're talking about brunch with the group. They're talking about brunch with Carl.
Ben Mandelker
Saddest liver.
Ronnie Caram
Carl Sliver is the saddest liver of all time.
Ben Mandelker
I'm gonna be a voyeur I'm gonna watch a guy just making his bed.
Ronnie Caram
Although I actually, it's a guy who's playing an app that's crocheting something. So I'm crocheting, but it's thrown up.
Ben Mandelker
Why. Why am I acting like we don't already watch Carl Sliver? It's called Summer House. You could literally even do the thing at the end.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, that's true.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, so Kristen's like, well, by the way, I guess in San Diego, Lala said there was, like, some not good behavior with Danny. He's like, yeah, for some reason they want to keep pursuing Danny in this. Like, having a drinking problem when you can make the case about anybody else. Christian's like, yeah, that's a really good point. Like, yes, you guys all have drinking problems. That's fine. You guys drink a lot. And there probably is a good drinking.
Ronnie Caram
It's not about drinking. I'm gonna say it for the first time right now, and then I'm gonna say it 50 more times throughout this episode.
Ben Mandelker
Absolutely.
Ronnie Caram
It is not about your drinking. It is about your behavior towards people. Sir, stop blaming it on drinking. Like, well, we all drink. We all drink. Yeah. You don't all emotionally abuse your wives in public. So some of you do. I'm not saying none of you do. But, Dan, this problem with Danny is that he is abusing his wife publicly, and people are going to comment on it publicly.
Ben Mandelker
You know what it is? It's like that. It's. It's like. And they all have different problematic things that they do. But I think with Danny, what's hard is that there's also this attachment of. Of nice guy imagery. He. That's a really weird, weird way to say that he has a nice guy image. And. And, like, he is. I feel like he and ne are actively maintaining it. And I think there's one thing to keep things behind closed doors, but there's also another thing to have fakery. And I. I think there's like this. He has. He maintains a facade of like, yeah, I'm just Danny Bucha, just a family man. Love being in the suburbs. Love raising my children. Love making zombie noises professionally. That's just who I am.
Zach
I'm a nice guy.
Ben Mandelker
It's like, well, we're seeing. We're seeing through it. The mask has dropped and we've seen too much, and now you're going to try to lift it up again and act like nothing happened. It's like, no, we've seen it. We've seen it. We suspected it but now we've seen it and like, you, you have to like, acknowledge. You can't act like this. It can't just be like, sorry, I took accountability. Like, that's not enough.
Ronnie Caram
And you're not taking accountability because even in this episode he's like, oh, so now I'm not allowed to drink? Everyone else drinks. See, that's not accountability. It's how you talk to your wife, sir. And if you keep making excuses and then blaming other people, that's not taking accountability, sir. So Kristen's like, well, I want to believe that Lala is not just being an. But I do know Lala and I know Danny Nia, and it's hard for me to believe that he would speak to Nia that way. Okay, well, you were there when he was doing it at the, at the park and at the safari park and at the, you know, whatever. The Western playland. Sorry, that's in El Paso. Whatever.
Ben Mandelker
The Coney Island. When they went to Coney Island. Whatever the was.
Ronnie Caram
Yes, the theme park or whatever. Yeah, you saw it there too, Kristen. So are you just washing that out of your brain? You have seen it. Don't pretend you haven't seen it. You've seen it, but now you have an alliance with somebody and you're just gonna let it slide and that's not cool.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. He's like, I love Danny and I liked it. And I feel like Danny and Nia have just been like, crucial for peace of mind and us becoming new parents. Absolutely. And like, babe, I'm so happy your boobs are so huge. I just could stuff my anchovy face into it right now. Artichoke. Thought that was. I sense you coming near my boobs at a restaurant. I had to say artichoke. I'm gonna have, I'm gonna be throwing you like ones, so get away from me.
Ronnie Caram
And he goes, she goes, are you gonna even sleep tonight? And he goes, well, I mean, I woke up and went fishing. Oh, geez. So you see, she's, she's giving him everything he wants. Boobs and fishing.
Ben Mandelker
And you see, we see how Luke and Danny went fishing together. Where were they fishing? In my memory, it was like in the LA river or something like that. It was like some man made river or pond or something. I don't know. Like, it didn't look like, it didn't look like it was off in a, a pond in the middle of Colorado. So he's like, yeah, I fished with Danny and then I came home and we had sex. And this is a Damn. Good day, babe. Yeah. I was so proud of that can you brought home. It was so cool. Wow. Went fishing this morning. Now I'm at a fish restaurant. I don't know what to do with myself and my girlfriend's boobs are out. You're living the life. He really is.
Ronnie Caram
That's all he wants. He's like, he really presented your. Your boobs great tonight, babes. I needed a bigger dress. Okay, so then they kiss and I make, you know, I stick my finger down my throat. And then Lala and Michelle go for a hike and. And Michelle's like, are you scared of the sun? She's like, yeah, I'm terrified of the sun.
Ben Mandelker
Lala has like a hat on, but then she's like attached, like a, like a band, like a handkerchief, or like a thing around the hat under her chin. I was like, I don't know if that's really going to be helpful, but sure. So Michelle's like, we are going to be sweating. We'll do the cement way of Runyon Canyon instead of these stairs. She's like, yeah, thanks, cuz. I have like a fear of going down. No comment. No comment. That's why I don't usually hike, because I can go up, but I can't come down. How do you feel, by the way?
Ronnie Caram
I have to have a conversation with Jesse. I was going back and forth with a lawyer because, you know about the SBA loan. She's like, during COVID She goes, yes, during COVID I never knew that he got a three hundred thousand dollar loan and put it in his checking account and then spend the money. This guy.
Zach
What?
Ben Mandelker
Just when he was getting a decent edit.
Ronnie Caram
So don't worry, everybody. He's not only over his wife and his child, he's also over you, the taxpayer, getting a Covid loan. What a dick.
Ben Mandelker
I know.
Ronnie Caram
Anyway, what'd you say? Didn't they forgive all of those? I don't.
Ben Mandelker
I don't know. But what I do know, what I do know is that like, not only did he do this, not only did he get a loan and spend it all for himself, he's not even really contesting it. He's not even like, no. No what? No, that was for the family, it was for the business. I had to do it to keep the business afloat, whatever. But he's just like I did and now can you pay me half? Like, there's not even. He's not even bothering to try to like show any shame about this. He's like, no, yeah, like she's like, later on the episode, she's like, I'm going to give you $150,000. And he doesn't have a moment where he says, what? That's crazy. You don't have to do that. That's my own hole. I have to dig myself out of that. He's like, okay, yeah, yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Well, he tells her. She says, right now, she's like, and when I asked for a divorce, he said, oh, yeah, by the way, I've got this 300k loan, and you've got to pay half of it because you were married to me by. What the hell? And it's been in collection. So he hasn't made a payment, and now they have to pay 30 grand up front and then make monthly payments. And he's like, well, I can't pay that money. He called her last week and he's like, I don't have $15,000. Oh, my God.
Ben Mandelker
Like, it's time for you to sell your home, sir. That's what that means. Time to downsize.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Time to do something.
Ronnie Caram
This is crazy. This is. This guy is. This guy's not even hot enough for this. You know what I mean? Like, what. What is happening here? What is this network doing to me? I feel like this just showing is just throwing shitty man after shitty man. Like, I can't take it anymore. Not that it's. I have this huge belief in men or anything, but it's like, come on, I don't watch this for.
Ben Mandelker
This network is women having to support these guys. Which, by the way, I'm fine with a woman supporting a guy, but there's. But these are such deadbeats. Like, what's her face? Britney with Jacks. She had to pay for everything with Jax. Now you have Michelle having to pay for everything with Jesse, but then they make their lives hell. That's what I can't stand.
Ronnie Caram
Luke and Kristen, what does that guy do?
Ben Mandelker
I have no idea what he does still. I really don't have any idea. But I don't. I don't get the sense that there's. I mean, I don't know what she does either. To be. To be fair. She sells T shirts.
Ronnie Caram
I don't know how they're like influencery stuff, but.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, you know, but I think it's. It's like, this is really flagrant in terms of Jesse and. And Jax. They both act like they're breadwinners. They're the man of the house, pater, familias. They're doing all these things. They're not paying a dime. Their wives are doing it all for them, and then they're going to treat them like. And I just think that's terrible. I mean, I'm happy for a wife to support the man. I think that's great. But then in return, the man should be respectful and kind. You know, like, supporting him.
Ronnie Caram
Right?
Ben Mandelker
Like, don't be a dick to the person who's, like, affording you your lifestyle.
Ronnie Caram
Supporting asshole and loose, stained underwear is just beyond. I'd like. It's just beyond me.
Ben Mandelker
I can't with a hairdress.
Ronnie Caram
I'm glad I didn't see Michelle walking on the street, because I would have been like, can I borrow some money? My underwear fit. I should at least get 400k. I mean, what the hell?
Ben Mandelker
So, Michelle, can you buy me my 14 scone from Tartine? Thank you very much.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, really? So Michelle's like, well, I could have gone to gourd, but my lawyer said, you are going to spend the money and time. What's the point is not even worth it. Yeah, it is. I mean, how much is lawyer fees? Is it going to equal $300,000? Because he's like, I think 10 would be worth it to not pay 50, you know, 150. Listen to me trying to do math.
Ben Mandelker
I'm like, I think the thing is that it's going to cost more than that. And then she's probably. Even if she rules in her favor, she probably won't get that money. And then she. If she tries to collect on, you know, lawyer fees, whatever, it just. There's. There's no money there.
Ronnie Caram
Well, I wonder if she's gonna. If she's getting paid. I'm hoping that she's getting some kind of paperwork that's like, okay, I'll pay this. But then you don't get anything from me. Like, you don't get child support, you don't get alimony, you don't get all that because, you know, California's wonky. And Jack, you know, Jax is trying to go for all of that, so why wouldn't Jesse be like, well, we were business partners and she makes more than me, so she should be paying me child support and alimony. So hopefully she's being smart and working out some kind of deal. But she did marry Jesse, so I'm not banking on that one.
Ben Mandelker
But so also, how terrible is Jesse? I mean, how terrible is he that she is willing to take a $150,000 hit just to get out of this situation?
Ronnie Caram
Just to get.
Ben Mandelker
I kind of feel like for people who are like, I'm team Jesse, I'm team Michelle, whatever. Like, you really have to think about that. You really have to think like, how miserable must someone be that they're willing to pay that much money to get out of a relationship? This isn't like, I didn't like how you treated me because of this. And he's like, no, but I treat you like this. And I didn't like how you treat. It's not like a difference of perspective. This is someone who is truly, truly unhappy with this man. This man has made her so deeply, deeply sad and miserable. She's been sad ever seen, ever since we met this poor woman. And she's willing to pay that much money. Like, you've got to like. Like, he's been getting a nice edit and this is a, I think a sobering reminder that he's a piece of.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Truly. So he called her last week and said, yeah, and also, I can't pay for half of Isabella's health insurance because that's 400 total. And he couldn't even pay 200. Dude, this is crazy. And Lala speaks again for everybody when she goes, what? He's a. Fucking clowns. Like, what? And she's like, you know, health insurance is the bare minimum for a child and you can't even do that. Like, I will never again procreate with a man.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And obviously there are people who cannot afford health insurance, but he's living a lifestyle and he's on TV and he can't pony up $200 for that. When we see him going to dinner at Javier's and you know, Newport Beach.
Ronnie Caram
I don't. Yeah, it's wild. Well, obviously trying to move into his new girlfriend's mansion. You know, which, God, I hope this girl smartens up because. Come on, Lexi. Come on, Lexi. If you can, you can date Jesse. Okay, fine. Maybe you believe in believing. Maybe you've believed all the bullshit that he's been giving you up until this point. If you watch this and you're still thinking that this is going to be the man that you want to raise your children, you have. You are nuts. Ok. Yeah. Leave this man.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Seriously.
Ronnie Caram
It's crazy.
Ben Mandelker
So Lala is like, yeah. I mean, if he can't pull together 200, like, where is he getting money to splurge on shoes and wines? And Michelle's like, somebody's being for it. I bet you it's Lacy. Detective Lala on the case. Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Wow.
Ben Mandelker
No, it's the ghost of Nancy Reagan.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, Nancy Reagan. She's like, I'm only supporting you because you were married to a lady who believed in. Don't say gay. Okay, so here's some shoes. Yeah, what was I going to say about that? Where's the money on shoes and wine? Oh, somebody's paying it. Yeah, it's like last season when he was calling her a hooker and saying that she was taking money from rich people. What are you doing?
Ben Mandelker
What do you.
Ronnie Caram
What do you think this is, sir?
Ben Mandelker
I know, exactly. So Lala's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure by the way, I put my pants on backwards. And you cannot tell because everyone's looking at that crazy scarf on your head. So now we go to Kristen and Luke's house and Zach has arrived and. Hi. How you doing? I slept barely at all. Oh, I've been rushing all morning. Like, it's so early. Oh, my God, what do I do? What do I do? Oh, my God. Neo's almost here. Well, I text her over the weekend. Was like, I just want to ask how she felt about San Diego. Yeah. I don't want this to feel like it's like some big deal even though we're sitting her down on the sofa and have cameras in her face. But, like, I just think that's like something where there's like, notice behavior and like, we just, like, want to point it out.
Ronnie Caram
She's like, well, I think that Nia knows exactly who her husband is, so. Yeah, but she's denying who her husband is so she can keep her fragile little world together, you know? And so she's like, you know, Danny's just extra. And Danny sober isn't somebody they think is funny. So if you. You don't like him sober, you're certainly not going to like him drunk.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, well, I think that maybe that that's. Yes, that's exactly right. We don't like him sober, so can he fix his outlook and the way he behaves when he's sober, so that way he's not 10 times worse when he's drunk.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So Nia arrives with Adelaide, who, you know, God bless her, is going to need a back brace after this scene. I've never seen a baby bounce so much. I mean, that baby. What is this, like the 1800s? Is that baby being taken somewhere in a rush on a horse? Because Nia gets agitated. She just starts galloping in place. That poor baby is just flopping all. I'm like, support her head.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, Nia's like, like bouncing the baby in her in the little. In the. In the Baby Bjorn type thing, whatever. But it's like, it's. It's not for the baby.
Ronnie Caram
She starts. Yeah, she starts. She puts the baby on, and then she's like, this baby is going to. This baby is going to lose its head, okay?
Zach
There's gonna be a loud doggy bar. Get ready.
Ben Mandelker
Adelaide's like, I'm fucking ready. Mom, can we go in this house already?
Ronnie Caram
So get me around dogs. Get me around lions. Just get me away from the other three kids. I mean, Jesus, what am I, a cat? Was I born into a fucking litter? Can I have one minute to myself?
Ben Mandelker
Seriously? And of course, Jill is like, whoa. And Chris is like, jill. So then she goes, it's a baby.
Ronnie Caram
And Jill's like, okay. And just lays down.
Ben Mandelker
Jill's like, oh, never mind. I thought it was takeout.
Ronnie Caram
So I thought it was an artichoke stealer.
Ben Mandelker
All right, I'll right over here. I just want to protect this house from anyone who might want to steal the artichokes. As long as you say it's a baby, it's fine. I always think about how them. By the way, season one, when Britney left all those rose petals on the floor, and then Jill ate the rose petals and had, like, massive diarrhea.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Is that. That happened, right? Or did we just, like, make that up?
Ronnie Caram
I think that happened. Or maybe it happened. I know she had diarrhea at the same time those rose petals were there,
Ben Mandelker
and I think we were like, she
Zach
ate the rose petals?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
So Nia comes in with this baby,
Kristen
and she's like, guys, rough night? Oh, God. She wouldn't latch. Maybe there's something on my nipples that she didn't like. I don't know.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, yeah, your boob tasted weird, Mom.
Zach
Yeah, he said weird.
Ben Mandelker
You have funky nips.
Zach
Okay, I'm not gonna. Yes, hand that one.
Ben Mandelker
So then I lay it right in Zach's face. Not unlike that scene with the. With the dinosaur, the brontosaurus that sneezes in the little girl's face in Jurassic Park. So Zach is like, oh, my God. I've, like, only tasted Sheena's breast milk.
Zach
Well, you can try mine.
Ben Mandelker
I think I just did that. That's what I was gonna say. I was setting up a joke, Neil. Let me finish.
Ronnie Caram
I have some frozen breast milk if anybody wants some.
Kristen
Yeah, let's.
Zach
Let's just.
Kristen
You know what? Let's not talk about your breast milk or San Diego.
Ben Mandelker
Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Before we start, does anyone Want an artichoke? No.
Ronnie Caram
It's made out of my breast milk, and I made it in San Diego. Whoops.
Kristen
Damn it. I didn't want to talk about either one of those things. Okay, whatever you do, let's just not talk about San Diego.
Ronnie Caram
We went to lunch with Brittany and Lala, and Lala said Danny was, like, drunk and talking to you in a crappy way.
Kristen
She's like, well, I wouldn't have worded it like that. Actually. Daniel was intense because he was, like, you know, wanting to be super competitive, and it was just a lot. And so he had a moment and he apologized for it, and it is what it is.
Ronnie Caram
Hold on.
Kristen
Creepy wife smile. Creepy, creepy Stepford wife smile. We're gonna drop this now, right?
Zach
Fine. Everything's fine.
Ben Mandelker
So here's the other thing. I. I hate this thing of, like, no, he was intense because he's super competitive. Did anyone tell Danny he was not in a real competition? Isn't that, like, alone kind of troublesome that you guys were in a gag pageant and he was getting super competitive over that? Like, isn't that, like, a red flag for you? Like, this wasn't the Super Bowl. This wasn't even Little League. God, I would be afraid to see him at Little League. He's probably one of those monster parents, you know? So, like, oh, he's super competitive. This wasn't a competition. This was a funny little thing to make people laugh, and then you move on with your nights. The fact that he was being intense and competitive in this moment, that was one of the issues. It's like, he was not in line with everyone else's drunken behavior in that moment. And it's happened too many times where he's been, like, out of sync and too extra and too much. And it's just not enough to be
Zach
like, like, oh, you're super competitive.
Ben Mandelker
It's like, that has.
Ronnie Caram
Well, and also it's been going on all weekend. You know, this had been going on at the park. It had been going. He's been an this whole weekend. And it wasn't always when he was drunk. And this is stupid. So Kristen's like, well, Lala did tell me that Danny went back to her and was like, oh, you're miss Triggered on.
Kristen
She goes, well, he apologized for that. And, you know, he said, I shouldn't have said that. And they literally hugged it out. So for me, in the way I handle things, if I can tell someone is genuinely sorry, I'm not going to keep carrying it on for days and days and Days and days and days and days. And it feels like that's what's happening here. It really feels like that's what's happening here.
Ronnie Caram
Nia, Nia, Nia, mia. Okay, then go forgive Janet.
Ben Mandelker
That's exactly what I was saying. Well, but she added that caveat. She said, if I feel like someone is genuinely sorry, so she's gonna say, I don't feel like Janet is genuinely.
Ronnie Caram
Well, I would say that Janet was as genuinely sorry as Danny is, because Danny 100, same thing over and over, you know, And. And I. And I actually do believe that. That Janet was about as sincere as Danny. So. But if you can forgive her, if you. I mean, she has to forgive him because he's the husband. I guess she doesn't have it.
Ben Mandelker
Exactly. No, but that. That's. That's what she has to say. And that was my first thought, was like, well, then you should apologize to Janet then. I mean, you should be okay with Janet because Janet has given you an apology. And. But that doesn't fit with the world view, especially because she needs to have someone that.
Skyrizi Ad Voice
What?
Ben Mandelker
She's receiving so much from Danny that she needs to have someone that she can just sort of, like, dump that on. I do believe so. Zach is like. I don't think she was, like, trying to make it anything bigger than what it was. I will say that, like, sometimes when he drinks like that, like, masculine, toxic male, like, whatever comes out, and I feel like he doesn't realize he's doing it. Zach's very sweet way of saying, your husband is a toxic man.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, yeah. He's like, when he drinks, he's a toxic. Maybe he just doesn't realize it. And Kristen says, well, does Danny know that when he gets drunk that he acts like a fool? And she's like, yeah, yeah.
Kristen
You know, we. You know, we. I know. It's like, you guys think we don't have healthy communication in our marriage or that we don't have awareness.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, no, we know you have very, very healthy communication. We know that in order to communicate the way that he really wants to communicate, that he insists angrily that his mic be taken off and that you take yours off so that no one else can hear it. That's sounds great.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Sounds. Sounds wonderful.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Zach is like. I mean, it's one of those things where it's like, okay, like, it's a behavior that maybe has been repeated a few times.
Zach
I mean, has there not been everybody in this friend group that's gotten into drunk. You, like, into a drunken thing? Here and there. And, like, why is it this, the thing that. When every single person in the friend group has done that, like, why is it about my husband?
Ben Mandelker
Well, you should think of that. You should ask yourself that, because everyone has. Jack got kicked out of. Out of Jax's a few times, right?
Ronnie Caram
Jax went to rehab. Jackson, plenty of drunken apology. People apologizing for being drunk and people being called out for being drunk all the time. And this is not about your husband being drunk again. This is about his. I don't think they're towards you.
Ben Mandelker
I genuinely don't think that people want to pile on to Danny just to have, like, a reality TV moment, because I think there's. I think if they want to do that, they would just pile onto Janet again or onto Jesse even. But, like, there's. But I think they're like, yeah, this is Danny, basically. I think the long and the short of it is for other people. Danny wilds out, and then it makes it awkward and strange for everyone, and no one likes it. And so it's like, can you get him under control? So that way when we all go out as a group, we can have fun. Like, if you guys are like, if he's gonna be like garbage to you up in Santa Clarita, that's your. This is your choice now at this point, like, you've. You've made your bed. This is the dynamic that you guys prefer. But for us, like, when you guys come around us, can he, like, not be an. Because then we don't know what to do, and we want to jump and we want to say something, but then we feel bad for saying something, and you make it feel like we're the bad ones for saying something, and that's strange and weird. So can you just get him in order? Thank you very much.
Ronnie Caram
Well, they see her constantly trying to get him in order. So she is trying to get him in order. She just can't do it. And so she's frustrated now that she's being called out on her shitty relationship, you know, and she's taking it very personally because she has chosen to stay with this person. And now they're putting themselves in the position of, like, now you're the villain because you're going to talk against my husband. And the first thing that. The first thing in my life is my husband and my children. And if you ever talk about my husband, I'm not going to. Around you. It's like, okay, but they're just trying to help you. And, I mean, I get where Nia I have sympathy for where Nia is coming from, but it only goes up to a certain point because at, you know, there's a certain point where you're enabling becomes. You're enabling the abuse of everybody else around you. And that's not cool. Like if, if that's your choice, then that's your choice. I can't make you stop. I can tell you I'll be there to support you if you're going to stop. I can encourage you to stop and to have self respect, but I can't make you. But when that starts leaking all over the place, sor. Nia. But that's. Now you're, that's what you're choosing to stand up for and that's ridiculous. You're in an abusive situation. You get the out of there. This is crazy. Or you at least need to have enough self awareness to see what everybody else is seeing and say, yes, I understand how Danny's coming off that way. Whatever we need to do to fix it, we'll. We'll fix it and just shut up about it. But yeah, this con, like she does now as she stands up, she straps a baby to her. She starts hopping all over the place and giving that baby God knows what how many neck cricks and freaking out on them and it's like, babe.
Ben Mandelker
No, I mean, I do think like if, if it were, you know, you know, like in terms of like, if it's an abusive situation, it's obviously never as easy to be like, well, just leave. Just leave.
Ronnie Caram
Exactly.
Ben Mandelker
Because obviously that's the whole point is that like it's, it's such a mind. And by the way, we're saying, I think abusive just like verbally or emotionally, whatever, but it's like, you know, it's not, it's not as simple as like, oh, just leave. Because there's obviously so much mind that the person never feels like they can or they shouldn't or whatever. Maybe they can't do better or maybe they'll scare it, whatever it is. Like, so I don't, I totally understand that. I think what's hard for probably the people in this group is that it's like, okay, you're in this situation and we want to. Well, we'll help you as much as we can. But like, don't, don't tell us that everything is fine. Or like, don't, don't make it, don't try to sell us on him. Don't try to tell us that, oh, he's, he's nice. He just Had a bad moment. It's like you're, You're, You're. You're really reading out of the playbook here. Like, it's like, yeah, don't do that.
Kristen
I mean.
Ronnie Caram
And look, as far as I'm concerned, that's her business. So she wants to tell me everything's fine. Okay, that's fine. But don't turn it around and say everybody in here is drinking. Everybody does it. It's everybody. It's everybody. And trying to turn it around on everybody else. It's not. That's not the point. The point is his behavior. It's not his drink. And you can't turn it around on everybody else. Like, that's not cool. You can enable your husband all you want to, but I don't have to. So you can live with a lie as much as you want to or you need to. I shouldn't say want to. I don't think anybody wants to be in this position. But you can't expect everybody else around you to live in La La land with you because this is. This is crazy. And her friends are trying to help her. Hopefully one day she'll see that her friends were just trying to help her.
Ben Mandelker
She will. She will. I actually do believe she will see that. So Nia tells us Daniel had a
Zach
bad moment, and it's been acknowledged and apologized for. But at the end of the day,
Kristen
you get nothing for nothing.
Zach
That's just not who he is. So I don't know why other people want to hold him to his worst moment.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, I think that's why. I mean, those are. I mean, that's what happens in life. That's just.
Ronnie Caram
Ask anybody in jail how they feel about being held to their worst moment.
Ben Mandelker
No, there are a lot of people who get held to not even their worst moment, and they suffer bigger consequences than Danny has, I'll tell you that much. So Nia is like, daniel doesn't drink at home.
Zach
So we go out and he gets a little spicy with me and nobody else. And all of a sudden he's a terrible person.
Ben Mandelker
Wait. Oh, he's a God. Why is he a terrible person? For getting spicy with the person who's supposed to be closest to him? Him. Gosh, why is that nice to everyone else but shitty to his wife?
Zach
God, why is he considered a terrible person from that.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, and it wasn't that he was just spicy with you either. He was spicy with Lala, which is what this conversation is about. She's just gonna. She's just gonna spin herself in circles over this. And she's like, you know, we don't
Kristen
need to be friends with people that don't want to be friends with us, because people who know, know who he is and his heart and his personality, they're the ones we want to be be friends with.
Ronnie Caram
This is bs and he's like, well,
Ben Mandelker
you know, it's just one of those
Ronnie Caram
things where, like, I think that he thinks he's like, joking or having fun or something. No.
Kristen
Daniel will get drunk as many or as often or less than anybody else in our friend group gets drunk. And it just may feel like a lot because we don't hang out very often. And it just happens maybe once every handful of times that he has a little bit too much.
Ronnie Caram
Nia, it's happened many, many times. And he was not drunk this whole time. And it doesn't matter if it just happens one time. If I was out, somebody who acted like this, that's it. If they ever act like that again, I'm gone. And again, I get that it's not the same way in a marriage, but there also is a point where it has to be like, you know, my God, I don't know. I don't even know what to say. It's just such a. It's just such a horrible situation. You know, I know you can't just tell somebody, well, then leave, you know, but at the same time, you're going to eventually anyway. Eventually it does come down to leaving. I just hope she finds the strength to do it because this is just crazy. Listening to her and the watching this baby bounce is making me nervous.
Ben Mandelker
The bouncing was actually very stressful. It was like, so long to talk
Ronnie Caram
about the scene that the baby literally is still bouncing up. It's been bouncing up for 20 minutes now.
Ben Mandelker
Just imagine how Joel felt. Joel's like, is there gonna be a ball coming out of this or what? But, yeah, so now Nia is. Is in a tizzy and she's sort of like lashing out at others. Right. Because of it. Because she's frustrated. It's a frustrating position to be in because, you know, it's hard to confront these sort of things. And so I really feel bad for her. But also, like, don't tell me that Danny is. It was a one time thing. And like, and then please don't give me the whole thing about, like, wait, I barely drink.
Zach
So the one time he does drink,
Ben Mandelker
but that when he does drink, he's a lunatic.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Pounding bottles of tequila in the pantry. He comes to the wine Thing. And it's like he's chugging beers to catch up. It's like, I'm sorry, he's not drinking like a chill person. He's just not. He's just not drinking normally. You.
Ronnie Caram
You also, you know, she's also saying like code words like, he's. He doesn't drink at home. Oh, he can't be an alcoholic because one of the alcohol things is, like, when you drink alone at home, you might be an alcoholic. You know, something they always used to say. And so she's like, well, he doesn't drink at home. Nia, come on, man. And I think it's more frustrating to her because she has tried. She has. It's not like she's not saying anything to Danny. She is saying something to him and she is telling him it's not okay. And she is standing up to him in a way when it's just the two of them and trying to keep it private. She's just having a problem that other people are doing it because she feels like it's only her business. But it's been made public now and it's everybody's business. And if your friends see this happening and they don't say anything to you, they're shooting City friends.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And quite frankly, everyone's on this show has been rummaged through. And I'm not saying that that that means you're not entitled to have privacy, but, like, you know, also don't act surprised that, like, the shit stick is coming towards you now. Like, it's. It's just. That's part of being on reality tv.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So she's like, I'm overwhelmed.
Kristen
And this. I gotta go. Like, I'm glad it was you guys
Ronnie Caram
and not somebody else. And I still love you. But this song.
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Ronnie Caram
Now we go to Nia and Danny's house and he's like, hello, love. It's just me. Perfect little Danny.
Kristen
Sweet, sweet little Danny. Thank you for putting her down. Like, I haven't been able to put her down lately because she just wants my boob. That's all she thinks about.
Ronnie Caram
Well, that's one thing we've got in common.
Ben Mandelker
I'm all right.
Zach
So I know I already kind of vented on the car ride home, which, you know, that was like three hours of me venting because Santa Clarita. Right. And I said I would start, I would kind of finish filling you in. So I got a little heated because Zach and Kristen had lunch with Brittany and Lala the other day and Lala was sharing about San Diego where she felt triggered and blah, blah, blah.
Ben Mandelker
So of course she is, like, coming back and, like, throwing all her friends under, under the bus for the ones who were trying to help her out, which we knew this would happen. This is very, very similar to how Brittany and Jax were back in the day when people would come to Brittany and be like, jax is not treating you right. So Danny's like, well, let's understand.
Ronnie Caram
Because she knows that also that he's going to be seeing this on TV and that they're going to have to have the conversation. Why aren't you sticking up for me? Why would you let her talk about me like that?
Ben Mandelker
What are we doing?
Ronnie Caram
You're supposed to be in my corner. We already saw him do it on TV with Lala. Why would you let her speak to me like that?
Ben Mandelker
You know, I owned up to it. I took accountability. I apologize. Leave me alone. Find someone else to put a target on. You tried to do it last year and it failed. And you're still trying to do it, and she's gonna fail again. I'm like, they're not doing this to single you out to find a villain on the show. You are the one who's stepping into that target right there. So Nia is like, oh.
Zach
So I kept on pushing this point of people in our friend group having a discussion, kind of like saying, you know, he becomes too much like his personality, and he's like, more intense than maybe he realizes. And I'm like, have you seen Zach drunk? Yeah, right. Yeah, that's right. And like, Britney can get so intense when she's drunk, which she often does. Yeah, they drink so much.
Ben Mandelker
But for some reason I have a target on my back. Whatever. Just show hypocritical for some reason. Go back and watch the footage.
Ronnie Caram
Also to say, like, oh, wow. I mean, have you seen Zach drunk? Yeah, But Zach did get called out on that. That was a huge plot line when Zach got all drunk and was like,
Ben Mandelker
I don't care if your baby dies
Ronnie Caram
or whatever he said to Janet. That turned out to be true. And he was disinvited from a trip. You guys still went on the trip. You had no problem with him being disinvited on the trip for his.
Ben Mandelker
Absolutely.
Ronnie Caram
So people do get called out on it on this show. So you're not above it. So cut the. And also, your friend is trying to help you, and then you're sitting here like, throwing your friend under the bus like you just.
Ben Mandelker
Exactly.
Ronnie Caram
So Danny's like, well, you know, whatever. So hypocritical. And so. Okay, sometimes I have a little too much. But, you know, I also do work on that. And I have a wellness coach and a therapist. His name is Jesus. And I'm always trying to better myself and get a handle on it and have self control when I need to. I mean, geez, God, you can't even abuse your wife anymore. What the hell? These people read the Bible.
Zach
I don't know. I just have to figure out how I want to go about things. But I. It's gonna feel uncomfortable because I'm going to Britney's night and all the girls are gonna be there and obviously I'm gonna have to say something a lala.
Ben Mandelker
It's like, well, feel it out. Listen, treat that room like Jasmine's butt. Feel it out and read the room.
Ronnie Caram
So Jason and Janet, one of the more exciting storylines of the season. Jason hurt his knee and this is bad. He blew out his knee. And I feel really bad for him, but I. I Don't know. I don't want to watch a knee blown out story. Sorry, that's just my. That's just my shallow take for the day. It's not that I don't care about your knee. I feel really bad for you, but this is a really long scene about your knee.
Ben Mandelker
So you're on a knee to know basis with this storyline.
Ronnie Caram
I'm on a knee.
Ben Mandelker
So Jason, he blew out his knee. It looked like what did. His hair is like ACL or MCL or something like that. And he's like, getting around right now is really challenging. And like every minute I'm just like, I'm not having this procedure performed. I just wasted into my recovery. I just want the surgery done today. And basically he's like really upset. He's saying he's upset because he wants to be running around with Cameron and bonding and everything. I was like, that's probably true. But you probably also are just like trying to get back to CrossFit. You're like, I was just about to break 400 pounds of a deadlift or whatever.
Ronnie Caram
It's like, this is really upsetting. I don't want my baby to see me fat.
Ben Mandelker
I know. He's like, I'm the hottest guy on the show and if I become Dewey, where will I be? Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
So his. He. He goes for a knee checkup and it's gonna suck. He's gonna be on crutches and stuff. It sucks.
Ben Mandelker
It sucks.
Ronnie Caram
Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.
Ben Mandelker
Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Alison King.
Ronnie Caram
Our way is the Amber way.
Ben Mandelker
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
Ronnie Caram
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her.
Zach
Call.
Ronnie Caram
It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
Ben Mandelker
Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Trickolas. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo Jamie. She has no less namey.
Ronnie Caram
Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.
Ben Mandelker
She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock Kristen
Ronnie Caram
the Piston Anderson Que sera sera Whatever will be Will Lauren Sills be she gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kissarino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Burg.
Ben Mandelker
This is Living with Michelle. Vivian.
Ronnie Caram
I love Aya Olivia Williamson.
Ben Mandelker
She sure is swell.
Ronnie Caram
It's Raquel yes, we can.
Ben Mandelker
It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn skippy, it's Tippy.
Ronnie Caram
And our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10
Ben Mandelker
cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real
Ronnie Caram
with Caitlin o' Neal Put us on a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher Hogle your horses It's Christine Hogle don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides who, what, why, where?
Ben Mandelker
And Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish.
Ronnie Caram
It's Genplay Fish have a kebab with
Ben Mandelker
K Rob My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo let's get savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy Always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers the incredible edible Matthews
Ronnie Caram
sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose she's the lady of the house It's Rachel Sharous There's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's our princess It's Rebecca Prince she's the queen
Ben Mandelker
bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot tell
Ronnie Caram
a lie It's Sarah Tell of son
Ben Mandelker
Shannon out of a can and Anthony, please don't stop at Soly and Pop let's take off with Tamla playing Strike
Ronnie Caram
a pose It's Tori Rose she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.
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Ronnie Caram
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Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: May 28, 2026
Ben and Ronnie dive into the latest episode of Bravo’s The Valley (Season 3, Episode 9), serving up their trademark mix of snark, insight, and genuine Bravo fandom. This episode's central themes include the ongoing drama surrounding Danny and Nia's marriage (especially Danny’s public behavior while drinking), Michelle and Jesse’s post-divorce financial battles, and observations on cast dynamics that range from hilarious to heartbreaking.
"Boring. Oh, the show needs some help. Get a crazy new couple in there." (02:58 – Ronnie)
"This is how low the bar is for me... Oh my God, there's Michelle Lally." (03:27 – Ben)
"They only shoot at the ones that use Home Depot floor tiles on the walls and, you know, have flies bigger than fists." (05:52 – Ronnie)
Kristen tries to present her relationship with Luke as happy and "together," echoing Nia and Danny’s public facade. Ronnie calls her out, saying it feels forced and robotic.
"This is not why we watch you, Kristen... Bring me Kristen back." (07:25 – Ronnie)
The infamous "fun bags" and "artichoke" joke sequence stands out as comedic gold:
Kristen: "I feel like my boobs are going to fall out." (11:11) Luke: "Those are my fun bags. Thanks for carrying them around for me." (11:13) Kristen: "Do you want to start with an artichoke?" (11:21 – Ben)
More playful banter about tinned fish, children, and nanny cams, with Ronnie weaving in stories about pet surveillance and feelings of being watched.
"She looked like she was at like a 67 charge." (05:04 – Ben, describing Michelle Lally)
The group addresses Danny’s public outbursts and Nia’s defenses. Ronnie hammers home that the concern isn’t Danny’s drinking, but his emotionally abusive behavior.
"It is not about your drinking. It is about your behavior towards people. Sir, stop blaming it on drinking." (18:32 – Ronnie)
Ben points out Danny’s curated "nice guy" image, emphasizing that the audience sees through it now.
"He maintains a facade of like, yeah, I'm just Danny Bucha, just a family man... That's just who I am." (19:41 – Ben)
Kristen attempts to believe in Danny and Nia as "couple goals," but the hosts call this alliance out as delusional and possibly strategic.
Ronnie and Ben underscore the cycle of public misconduct, weak apologies, and Nia's denial:
"You were there when he was doing it... so are you just washing that out of your brain?" (20:51 – Ronnie)
The discussion pivots to parallels with other Bravo couples and the broader culture of women on Bravo shows financially (and emotionally) supporting "deadbeat" men.
"This network is women having to support these guys. Which, by the way, I'm fine with a woman supporting a guy, but... these are such deadbeats." (25:45 – Ben)
Nia deploys classic minimization, calling Danny “super competitive” and insisting apologies have been made.
The hosts dissect these patterns and highlight the impossibility of group harmony without Nia’s honest acknowledgment.
"This wasn’t the Super Bowl. This was a gag pageant." (37:27 – Ben)
Ronnie also notes Nia’s increasingly desperate body language, especially as she bounces her baby during heated conversations.
"[Nia] starts hopping all over the place and giving that baby God knows what how many neck cricks and freaking out..." (43:11 – Ronnie)
Michelle reveals Jesse took out a $300k COVID loan she never knew about and now expects her to pay half. Ronnie and Ben roast Jesse for being an absent, noncontributing spouse, yet demanding financial support.
"This guy is. This guy's not even hot enough for this. You know what I mean?" (25:23 – Ronnie)
Michelle is so eager to be free that she's considering paying $150,000 to end things.
"How miserable must someone be that they're willing to pay that much money to get out of a relationship?" (28:40 – Ben)
The hosts ridicule Jesse’s inability to pay basics like health insurance and call out recurring Bravo patterns:
"Supporting asshole and loose, stained underwear is just beyond." (26:54 – Ronnie) Lala: "Health insurance is the bare minimum for a child and you can't even do that. Like, I will never again procreate with a man." (29:55)
Zach and Kristen try to gently confront Nia about Danny's toxicity.
"When he drinks like that, like, masculine, toxic male, like, whatever comes out and... he doesn't realize he's doing it." (39:13 – Zach)
Nia falls back on “everyone acts out when drunk,” but Ronnie and Ben insist Danny's behavior is uniquely problematic.
"This is not about your husband being drunk again. This is about his... behavior towards you." (40:22 – Ronnie)
The hosts note the reality-show pattern: the group is called toxic for “piling on,” but in truth, everyone wants a safe, fun environment.
They highlight a Bravo trope: loyal spouse defends the indefensible, isolates from friends, and goes on the offensive.
"You can enable your husband all you want to, but I don't have to." (44:13 – Ronnie) "Don't act surprised that, like, the shit stick is coming towards you now." (49:14 – Ben)
"Because she knows... he's going to be seeing this on TV and that they're going to have to have the conversation. Why aren't you sticking up for me?" (52:21 – Ronnie)
Ronnie on Danny’s Excuses:
"It is not about your drinking. It is about your behavior towards people. Sir, stop blaming it on drinking." (18:32)
Ben on “Nice Guy” Facades:
"He maintains a facade of like, yeah, I'm just Danny Bucha, just a family man... That's just who I am." (19:41)
Michelle on Divorce Costs:
"I never knew that he got a three hundred thousand dollar loan and put it in his checking account and then spent the money. This guy." (23:44 – Michelle, paraphrased by Ben)
Lala on Child Support:
"Health insurance is the bare minimum for a child and you can't even do that." (29:55)
Ronnie (on Nia):
"She just can't do it. And so she's frustrated now that she's being called out on her shitty relationship..." (41:37)
If you missed this episode, Ben and Ronnie stay true to form with a recap that’s both hilariously biting and sharply insightful. They dissect the delusions and dysfunctions at the heart of The Valley’s core relationships, especially Danny’s emotional abuse and Nia’s enabling; Michelle’s impossible divorce and financial entanglements; and the group’s struggle to hold each other accountable. As always, the hosts’ blend of empathy, skepticism, and Bravo-love keeps things engaging—reminding us why “we mock because we love.”
Skip the ads, but savor every shade thrown, every artichoke joke, and every withering Ronnie one-liner. For more, find Part Two of the recap, or support the show on Patreon!