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Ben Mandelker
Weather, traffic. Hey, stay in your lane.
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Ronnie Caram
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and you and joining me today is the wonderful and effervescent Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie.
Ben Mandelker
Why thanks. How are ya?
Ronnie Caram
Oh, I'm just doing fabulously. Especially because we are doing something really unique today that we're gonna be doing all week long, which is that we're actually recording in a studio together. Yeah, like a real deal grown up podcast.
Ben Mandelker
We're in Acast Studios today, New York City. Thank you for New York City.
Ronnie Caram
Look, if you're watching with Crap is on Demand, which you should be watching, patreon.com watchforcrappens you can actually see that they made us custom microphone box things, you know, which is really cool. And there's like a backdrop. It's just blue, but it's nice. And we've got like, there's fake plants. It's like the real deal place.
Ben Mandelker
More importantly, we're both wearing pants today.
Ronnie Caram
More importantly.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, you gotta leave the house. You put on some pants.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, exactly. Look, there's tchotchkes. We've got Danny Pellegrino's book Giglies Squad. It's all very exciting. There's a Polaroid camera. It's Like, a very exciting time for us right now. Today we are recapping Real Housewives of Atlanta. Before we get into that, we are putting on a cabaret. That's why we are here in New York City right now, recording together. Our first show is Wednesday night. Our second two or our second and third shows are both on Friday night. Tickets are sold out, but you can stream the show, go to watchwithcraftins.com or use the link on our socials, and you can buy your streaming tickets right up to show time, which is gonna be 7 o' clock on Wednesday. Can the Friday people still buy their streaming tickets up till Friday, do you know?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Okay.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, you can buy all the tickets up until the showtime for that show.
Ronnie Caram
For that show. But then after that, you can't buy those tickets. However, you can watch the replay for the following week. So we've been here rehearsing. We've been, like, doing real deal rehearsals.
Ben Mandelker
That's crazy. We're rehearsing at amda, which is from Fame.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, is that. Are they from Fame?
Ben Mandelker
I think so.
Ronnie Caram
American Music and Dance Academy, I think is what.
Ben Mandelker
Isn't that what Fame was based off of?
Ronnie Caram
I've never seen Fame.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, my God.
Ronnie Caram
I know.
Ben Mandelker
Dom was learning so much about you.
Ronnie Caram
Dom was in the new Fame, and I still haven't seen it.
Ben Mandelker
I'm learning so much about your gay hood this week.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
So we're doing some stuff from Chorus Line. Ben never seen A Chorus Line. What kind of gay is that? He was like, how do you do a kick line, babe? And I told him we all. I said, gay people learn this when we're children because we all watch Chorus Line and do the kick lines in our house. And he's like, but I didn't watch that. Did you do. You didn't watch Laverne and Shirley? That was.
Ronnie Caram
But that was. But that. Yeah, but, you know, like, we didn't have it on reception. Like, we had.
Ben Mandelker
That was. That was local tv, though. It wasn't gay.
Ronnie Caram
No, I'm saying it was, like, on channel. The reruns were, like, on Channel nine, and we didn't get channel nine in, so I literally couldn't watch it.
Ben Mandelker
So there was that. There was Chorus Line. What was the other gay thing that you had this week?
Ronnie Caram
I have a lot.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, this new one. What'd you just tell me right now? You've never seen something. You just said it right now.
Ronnie Caram
I'm just saying right now. I don't know what I just said.
Ben Mandelker
You. Come on. We're talking about it right now. Did you hear me? Oh, fame, fame, fame.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, Actually, that's a lie. I remember there was a famed TV show, and I remember watching that when I was a kid and loving it.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
But I never saw the original movie. I never saw the remake again. Dom is in it, and I still haven't seen it. But I. Yeah, but the kick line. I always thought I could do a kick line. Cause, you know, you sort of, like, joke around doing them, but when you actually have to do it to music, it's so hard. And I was in my hotel room last night trying to do a kick line. There's, of course, no room. I'm just sitting there kicking a matt. No room for my leg to go out, but, like, getting the knee to come up and then come down and the leg to come up and all doing that. 1, 2, 3, 4. I couldn't do it. I don't know. Chorus Line is like, a nightmare for me.
Ben Mandelker
I'm like, well, honestly, doing anything to music is hard.
Ronnie Caram
So everyone come to our cabaret. You're SEO. Does anyone want to see me just kick in a sporadic pattern? You will see that it's going to be.
Ben Mandelker
One thing I've asked myself multiple times over the past few days is, what, why? What? Why did we. And it went pretty much that. That was the questioning.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, it's like Chorus Line. All my experiences with Chorus Line. So I watched it for the first time, the movie for the first time, about a month ago, in preparation for this, because we were gonna be doing a big, like, Chorus Line situation. And so I watched the movie, and I was like, I hated the movie. And now I'm traumatized.
Ben Mandelker
Well, that's gay. That's gay. All the gays. But that's the movie.
Ronnie Caram
Okay.
Ben Mandelker
But people are like, I loved it. I mean, I loved it because I was a kid, you know? So I thought it was just so frustrating. Like, people were singing, you know? I loved it.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
So, yeah, gay people notoriously hate Chorus Line. If you ever want to, like, give someone a softie, like, when you're about to have sex with a gay guy, just be like, I love the Chorus Line movie.
Ronnie Caram
I just. I am just like. I feel like I'm just incurring Chorus Line trauma every day. And I'm just. I don't. I don't think I'm going to be able to, like, get on board with Chorus Line. But that being said, it's okay.
Ben Mandelker
It's. It's over. I got canceled, actually.
Ronnie Caram
That's a lie. I'm sure. I'm gonna, like, what's gonna happen is next week I'll be like, ronnie, oh my God, I can't stop singing Chorus Line. I mean, I know it's gonna happen. I'm just. I'm huffy at the moment. What can I say?
Ben Mandelker
So anyway, we're doing that. And then last week was a holiday Monday, so we did not cover Atlanta or other ones, Rhode Island. And those were actually two really good episodes. So let's just go through.
Ronnie Caram
Well, yeah, I was gonna say Atlanta.
Ben Mandelker
We're both doing this to each other.
Ronnie Caram
We're doing jazz hands to each other. Mine was just like a. I'm like, so.
Ben Mandelker
And then you went so.
Ronnie Caram
No, you went like this. You were like, so. Well, we are. Before we dive into this week's episode, let's do like a high level reminder of what happened last week. Actually, like, not a lot happened last week until we got to. What'd you say?
Ben Mandelker
I disagree. I mean, so much happened last week.
Ronnie Caram
Okay. Please.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So much happened. First of all, Shamiya only has one male embryo, and I feel bad for the girl embryos. I hate when people say shit like that. I feel like I'm reading a book from, like, I don't know, like, I just read this whole Rome series, you know, like for months I've been reading this thing and like, the obsession with having a boy, it just makes me crazy. It's like, we're 20, 26. Like, but we have to have a boy. No, you don't. What, are you gonna carry on the air conditioning legacy? It has to be a boy. Like, a girl can run your air conditioning legacy. You don't need another penis in that house. I'm so fucking sick of people. You know? What about all those other embryos? Like, give them a chance. Maybe you have a little chorus line star in there and you're just flushing it down the toilet.
Ronnie Caram
Embryo kick line.
Ben Mandelker
What if the penis is going to be a serial killer? I'm just so sick of hearing it from people. Just fucking have. Be lucky to have a baby. You know? You're sitting here crying over having a baby. Feel grateful that you have the money to do this and just have your fucking baby. I'm so sick of it.
Ronnie Caram
I know. I think it's like I'm kind of. I don't know, there's something about watching these people on TV who are just kind of trying to curate this perfect ratio of types of babies. I'm like, just have a baby. Just have a baby. And however your baby turns out, is how it turns out. You'll love them as much no matter what. And it's like the fact that we have to sit there and sit front row and watch people decide, well, yes, we have the kids, but our plan was to have this number and this number, and we're trying to have this. Now we can't get that number. I'm like, I don't know. I don't have, like, a huge amount of, like. Like, sympathy, passion.
Ben Mandelker
Give a fuck at miss.
Ronnie Caram
I have sympathy. I have sympathy. Because I think if you're trying to start a family, that's a very serious thing, and you have hopes and dreams attached to it.
Ben Mandelker
I have a family. Started these two.
Ronnie Caram
I know, I know. And it's just like. I feel like it's a little, like. I don't know.
Ben Mandelker
I feel like it's ungrateful. And Also, we're in 2026.
Ronnie Caram
I think that if you have. If you have your eggs and you. And you have embryos, I do understand the investment that you've sort of, like, there's a literal part of yourself that's out there that you now want to see flourished. Like, you've already attached stuff to it. I get it. But I don't know. I'm sort of sick of watching on real. On, like, any reality show. Like the. Not like, in vitro. Fine. But like.
Ben Mandelker
Or
Ronnie Caram
what do you call it when someone else carries the baby?
Ben Mandelker
Oh, surrogacy.
Ronnie Caram
Surrogacy, fine. But it's like the. But we wanted to have three boys and three girls. I'm like, okay, can we. Do we have to, like. I don't know. I just. I'm over. I'm over.
Ben Mandelker
Look, I think we're in 2026. You're gonna have that baby, and God knows what it's gonna be anyway, because you could have, you know, you could have a baby born as a boy, and then a few years later, they're like, I was born in the wrong body. And that's like a real thing that happens all the time, so you can't even tell anymore. So what are you gonna do? I think it's more important than worrying about the sex of your baby. Worry about if that baby's ugly. Can. I mean, get the DNA?
Ronnie Caram
I'd be like, which one of these embryos is hot?
Ben Mandelker
Yes. Get the DNA of this baby. Have a future scan made of this baby and be like, I'm not gonna have an ugly baby, because that's gonna be harder for the baby. You know what I mean? But you know Having this boy girl thing. I just can't with Shamia. Shamia is so annoying to me. So she has this also blaming the surrogate. I didn't like that either. Like, her surrogate, one of her surrogates didn't carry to turn or, you know, didn't. What do they call it? Didn't come. It didn't come to fruition. I'm so sorry. I'm like a gay guy who's never
Ronnie Caram
done this, but da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, but, you know, like, it didn't take. The pregnancy didn't take. And so she fired the surrogate and got another. I'm like, what are you blaming her for? It's like a natural thing. I don't know. The whole thing is really bothering me, and I have no. No stake in this game because I'm not having a baby. Never gonna have a baby. Never had a baby. So I get that. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but watching it is annoying. And then Shamia' thing was that she. Gerald. Who? Shocker. That Gerald is like this. I'm not shocked at all that Gerald is like this because he has that attitude of like, go, go do your stupid woman show on tv. I'm not gonna do that. But that he doesn't want her to be in her glamorous acting career, which, by the way, Shamia, you don't have. You're not Meryl Streep. Calm down. I know, but she's like, oh, I have to quit my acting career because Gerald doesn't want me kissing other men in my. In my career, so I might have to quit acting. Were you in acting?
Ronnie Caram
I know I'm about to say, who were you kissing?
Ben Mandelker
You've been in acting for five minutes, and I quit your acting already. So come on.
Ronnie Caram
I know. Shamir really does. She keeps on, you know, talking about her singing and acting career. Well, acting is, I think, a better path for her than singing, because last season, having to watch her try to be a pop star, and I'm like, I hate to be like this, but you're too old. Right? Like, unfortunately, that's the end. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
How dare you?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, I think so. Like, I mean, the industry, it's not my. It's not me. Look, I'm a Carly Rae Jepsen fan, okay? She's 35, and they might as well treat her like she's Cloris Leachman, the ghost of. So, you know, unfortunately, that's like the record industry. That's not me. You know, and so Shamia trying to become like a pop star when she does, like, she just, it's like, I feel like it's too late for her.
Ben Mandelker
I think the only person that would really do Broadway shit is Adele, who like retired when she was like, I'm 30. Bye. What else do you want me to write about? I'm rich, I'm fabulous, I'm thin. Like, what do you want?
Ronnie Caram
Do you know how much shit I'm about to get for saying, like, for dismissing Shamia's singing career while also saying I'm a Carly Rae Jepsen fan? It's not that I'm saying that she's, I'm not saying that Shamia's untalented. I'm just saying the industry is harsh and cruel. And if you're like over 23, it's I think, really hard to break through. And so Shamia trying to sort of have this like, this breakthrough moment I think is gonna be really, really hard for her is what I'm saying. And so to have to watch her sort of do this and then she's obviously dropped it this season and now she's on to acting, which I think acting is the better path for her. But I agree with you, she's acting like she's, she's ridiculous. You know, she's in the hours part two and it's like, you're not the
Ben Mandelker
hours, you're in the minutes, you're in the seconds. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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Ben Mandelker
Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's grilling season and Whole Foods Market has everything you need.
Ronnie Caram
From their 365 brand ground meat to the New York strips and ribeyes.
Ben Mandelker
There are also grill ready beef and chicken kebabs and house made sausages. Yum. All the meat at Whole Foods Market is no antibiotics ever.
Ronnie Caram
And all of the seafood is either
Ben Mandelker
responsibly farmed or sustainable wild caught. So fire up that grill and get all of this and more at your local Whole Foods Market for in store shopping, as well as pickup and delivery. So Portia and Sway went on a date. So we got our first Portia and Sway moment. Believable. I have to say, this was believable.
Ronnie Caram
I like Sway a lot, actually.
Ben Mandelker
I like Sway. This was believable. Unlike Portia and Big Mike. Who was it? Mike. That she's. Big Mike is like, I can't with that guy. That's not believable at all. No. He's like, here's 100 roses.
Ronnie Caram
And, yeah, he's completely fake.
Ben Mandelker
He's like, yeah, that guy's full of shit.
Ronnie Caram
But Sway, I thought, I want to hang out with Sway. Sway seems like a very normal.
Ben Mandelker
I want to marry Sway.
Ronnie Caram
I think Sway's the best.
Ben Mandelker
That's, like, what I'm looking for. Why is it that gay guys can find the perfect chemistry with a gay woman? That doesn't make sense.
Ronnie Caram
Right?
Ben Mandelker
But that's, like, such a. Because I think that lesbian masculine energy, like, I just love that. I love her.
Ronnie Caram
I kind of feel like, in many ways, lesbians are just more emotionally mature than us gay men. I don't know why it is. They just. They just.
Ben Mandelker
Well, the women in general.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. They just have their shit together. Like, God, I love lesbians.
Ben Mandelker
I do, too. You know, and people always say, like, gay guys hate lesbians. That's not true. Lesbians hate gay guys.
Ronnie Caram
And, like.
Ben Mandelker
And I don't blame them.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. I'm about to say, have you been around us?
Ben Mandelker
Have you been around us? Yeah. But it is, like, really hard to work over a lesbian. As a gay guy, you really have to work hard.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, but when you do it, it's so great.
Ben Mandelker
It is. Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
It's. So when you make that. When you get that breakthrough, it's. No, but I thought Sway was great. I like Sway. I also like Sway for Portia in a weird way. I think that, like, Sway could be a good grounding force for her in a way that's not condescending, the way the men always are to Portia, you know?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Okay, so there's that. And then what else? We got Kelly upset because her ex, she's like, I can't shoot with my children. I'm like, this. I mean, you're going through so much. I think it's just that she highlighted the, like, I can't shoot. She's, like, worrying about the casting more than her marriage. Did you get that impression at all? Well, that's kind of how I got it. I Mean, I get that it's hard and her ex husband is an asshole and I think abusive and, like, horrible.
Ronnie Caram
Like, terrible.
Ben Mandelker
Has protests against her with signs that he has made. Like, who does that? I've heard of some shitty men, but this man's the worst. So, like, I'm not even talking about. We know that this is.
Ronnie Caram
I mean, look, we just came off a whole season where Portia's whole thing was. Her arc was that she finally got to shoot the show in her house. So, like, it's very much. I think it's all tied into the ability to provide content for Bravo to stay on the show, which is, like, very meta. But I agree it's not a very compelling. You know, of all the issues that this man is causing for her, like, this is not the one that I care the most about.
Ben Mandelker
I think if you're gonna. I think she has so much. She has so many, like, legit gripes about this divorce and how he's acting that I think it was just jolting for her to be like, I can't shoot with my children. I was like, that's what you're worried about? So much more to worry about than putting your kids on tv. I mean, I don't even know that they should be putting any of these kids on tv.
Ronnie Caram
Honestly, I'm like, okay with you not having your kids on. Just because I, like. It's just not going to be. It would never have been compelling content for me. And quite frankly, last season, when she did have an emphasis more on her children, Kelly was much more forgettable. I am not saying that she's great this season, but notice that she's much more in the mix last season. She's just a side character. Whenever we go to her, she was, like, doing homework with her kids. So, like, no offense, I don't really like kid content anyway on these shows, so. This guy's a dick. But I'm like, I'll take my blessings where I can get them.
Ben Mandelker
And also, look how expensive it is when you film with your kids. I mean, last season she had that birthday party for her older kid who still can film because she's older and she's from a different father, but. Right.
Ronnie Caram
Yes. And she's also over 18, I think.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, but I mean, they're still expensive. I mean, you shot with her and then you had to buy her a designer purse for every year that she was alive. I mean, fuck that, man. She gets out of there. Save yourself some money.
Ronnie Caram
Is she also not allowed to film with her dog? Anymore. Because I swear that dog is barely getting any screen time this season.
Ben Mandelker
I'm hoping that dog just finally refused and was like, I'm embarrassed. Like, you've embarrassed me. I'm out of here.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, so then the big thing for the episode was the sound bath party at Phaedra. So, you know, in case you forgot, Phaedra's got a lot of jobs. She's a funeral mortician lady.
Ronnie Caram
She's a lawyer kinda fitness video impresario.
Ben Mandelker
Donkey booty.
Ronnie Caram
Donkey booty.
Ben Mandelker
Probably criminal. If you've ever read Angela's book about her and Apollo's past, which. I didn't read the book.
Ronnie Caram
I did not.
Ben Mandelker
Angela. Angela Stanton. Angela Stanton. Read a lot about that on Reddit. Thanks, Reddit. And then what else does she do? She does a lot of stuff. What was she doing in Dubai? She went to Dubai to import.
Ronnie Caram
She does something new every single season. And so her latest thing is that now she's a Reiki healer. So she had this sound bath in her home. And by the way, off topic, but related. Aiden just turned 16 last week. Isn't that crazy? Yes, crazy.
Ben Mandelker
Wait, but weren't we there when he was born? I mean, not there there, but like, as an audience, as a podcaster. Were we there when he was born? I think we were there for Mr.
Ronnie Caram
President, the younger s. The younger son.
Ben Mandelker
She already had a child. When. No, she didn't. Is he lying?
Ronnie Caram
How about I look this up?
Ben Mandelker
Because if we've been doing this almost 15, we're 14 and A. But maybe we weren't recapping that back then. I don't know.
Ronnie Caram
Well, the show started around 2009, so. Okay, so Aiden was born in 2010, and Dylan was born in 2013. Phaedra. So Aiden was born already? Because, Phaedra, the Show started around 2009. Phaedra. She wasn't season two, was she? She was season three.
Ben Mandelker
She was season three.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Candy was season two. So I think that. I don't. I think Aiden was just.
Ben Mandelker
I don't know.
Ronnie Caram
I don't think.
Ben Mandelker
Because, you know, when you come from Portia, you come back to your timeline.
Ronnie Caram
No. Their births, plural, were prominently featured on the Real House House of Atlanta.
Ben Mandelker
So I guess I just watched it. We didn't recap it. I don't know. But imagine telling someone they're not their age. Although that has happened to me. That's like I was a different age, literally, for years.
Ronnie Caram
That's like our. That's. By the way, that's like our job.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I thought I was a year older than I was for, like, three years.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Remember?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
It was so weird. Who does that? Like, I can't do the math. I thought my dog was a different age. My dog is 15. I thought he was 14.
Ronnie Caram
Wow. By the way, I stand corrected. Aiden was. So Aiden was the baby that was born at, like, five months, right? Quote, unquote, five months. I thought that was Dylan. Okay. Either way, Phaedra's a Reiki healer now. She's having a sound bath. She invites everyone over and.
Ben Mandelker
A flautist.
Ronnie Caram
And a flautist. So. Which I don't know if she was really a flautist. It looked more like a recorder. And on top of that, it didn't really look like she was playing a melody. It was just more like she was making tones, sort of like, you know, standard. Like, hey, what everyone does when they get a recorder for the first time, which they blow into it and then move their fingers.
Ben Mandelker
And then it's like, you just make their mothers crazy. I wish I could have seen in Utero if you were going to be a terrible recorder player.
Ronnie Caram
Poor recorder.
Ben Mandelker
Wouldn't add you.
Ronnie Caram
Poor recorder. What?
Ben Mandelker
So anyway, it's like the most disrespected.
Ronnie Caram
It's like, not even in orchestras, right? No. Is it not even part of the.
Ben Mandelker
It's completely disrespected. And, you know, Phaedra didn't even buy that one of the kids had it left over from school. And she's like, I'm a flautist now.
Ronnie Caram
So anyway, so she has the sound bath and she. First of all, they all come dressed nicely, and they put these big floating recliners in the pool that they're all supposed to lie on and then, like, meditate with. Which, by the way, was just. If I were dressed so nicely, I would just never get on one of those things. Cause I feel like at one moment, I'm tipping into that water and Shamia's actually starts to sink, which was funny.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, her float starts to kind of sink and lose air. And then she's still. This episode, like, did they do this on purpose to me? No, Shamia, stop. Just stop trying so hard. You're so annoying. I can't.
Ronnie Caram
With this scene, Shamiya constantly inserting herself, acting as if she's really annoyed, while actively being the one who is reasserting the narrative that everyone's out to get her and that she caused this drama. They keep saying that I caused this rift. I didn't cause this rift. It's like, stop Saying it like, I don't think anyone in the audience is like, oh, wow, look at this injustice.
Ben Mandelker
She's really trying to make herself the storyline. So she. She was thinking they all floated in this thing, okay? The big part of this was they sit around and they have dinner, and K. Michelle. God love K. Michelle. I know. She's very controversial. A lot of people have already turned on K. Michelle. I think she is so fucking funny. She comes up with something new every week. I mean, this lady comes to work, you know? So first she was mad because Portia said, did you have a miscarriage? Okay. Which tasteless. But she wasn't being mean, I don't think. But okay. You know, she had that.
Ronnie Caram
Maybe delicate would be the word to use.
Ben Mandelker
Maybe tacky. So then she gets upset because Drew says, oh, so, you know black. Mm.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Very upset. Very upset about it. So she's been carrying that around. So now she's super mad. She's saying that plotting. Plotting is scheming.
Ronnie Caram
Don't forget the oysters.
Ben Mandelker
Then she adds in. Portia was making oyster vagina jokes, and she's like, that's about me. And I know you guys are plotting and planning because I've heard you're gonna bring up vagina rumors from eight years ago. Okay? So that was her latest thing. So then this week, she brings in. And I was talking to one of my exes, and it turns out he also dated Portia at one time, and she didn't tell me. I'm like, come on. So that was last week, and then this week, she added something this week too. What was it this week?
Ronnie Caram
Well, we'll find out, but it's. Yeah, I agree. Every week there's a new thing, and there's also this thing where she was upset that Portia confronted Kelly because it gave mean girl energy. I mean, this is someone who's been so deeply traumatized, truly, from being on other reality shows, that she is looking. She's trying to preemptively get in front of every single thing that comes to her, and she's actually creating drama that's not there. And it's like, to me, it's, like, really funny. Every single week, there's something else where it's like, what is K. Michelle thinking? But she's so funny, and her comebacks are so good. So she starts after they meditate. They have Portia. They're gonna clear the air. And so K. Michelle is talking about her issues with Portia and how she feels, and somehow in this discussion, like, Drew gets in It. She sort of gives. I forget exactly what she says. She sort of makes an offhanded remark about Drew that's kind of like dissing Drew, which is always so funny. Like, I always think when people do that to Drew, it's like, one of my favorite things to watch on Atlanta. And so she does it. So then she and Drew start getting into. Into it. And, like, my favorite line of the entire thing, Drew is getting really upset. And she goes, I mean, who are you? Come in here. You know, my whole resume. And she goes, you don't have one. It was easy. Oh, my God. I rewound that five times. Just how quick it was. You don't have one. It was easy. Oh, it was great.
Ben Mandelker
So then it turns into Kelly, who. Kelly's like, I'm so depressed, I don't even want to go to this party. I'm not gonna speak to anyone. I'm not gonna put on any makeup. I'm just gonna sit there and upset. She comes out right, you know, as fast as she can to get Portia and starts. Her and Portia start squabbling and getting into it, and, you know, they're both ho. Shaming each other for sleeping with married men. I don't care if you sleep with married men. I blame the married man. Fuck your married man. And then Kelly's like, portia has slept with every Nigerian in Atlanta. So then they find about that, and it was pretty good. Portia starts yelling that she is not gonna say who the man Kelly slept with, but he is a pastor, and he is a client of Phaedra's. And then we learned today that he is Nigerian. So I feel like we've got a lot of.
Ronnie Caram
We're very, like, little clues. It's like in a video game. In a video game, when you're trying to figure out a puzzle, and then every now and then, the video game is like, why don't you try looking on the left side? You're like, oh, thanks, video game. It's like we're getting, like, little. Little.
Ben Mandelker
An npc. Shamia is like. Like, maybe look on the left side. Did they deflate this raft on purpose just to get at me? I hope my. My baby will be a male, by
Ronnie Caram
the way, while this whole fight was going on, like, Pinky and Phaedra in the corner being like, oh, this food's really delicious. Yeah, this is great. What I was going to say about this, I don't remember what I was going to say, but what was very funny to me was, you know, Kelly Starts acting up, and she starts. You know, she starts going at Portia, and like, the moment Kelly picks up, like, a wine glass and she just sort of puts it forward, like, maybe like. Like, starts moving it towards Portia's face. It was like the moment she did that. Out of nowhere, like, three security people come. I was like, they are trained. They know they're ready. They immediately were like, oh, yeah, we're not waiting for this. We are anticipating. So, yeah, that was. I. I kind of thought, honestly, last week's episode was a little dull until it got to that sound bath. And then the sound bath just like. I mean, I'm just, like, cracking up. I thought it was so good. I mean, I feel like that's kind of been not the general story of the season, but I feel like every episode this season has either been, like, really, really good, or it's been a little slow, but then has ended on a really high note. And so I think this has been, like, a really. Probably their strongest season in years.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I think it's been really strong too, and I think they're all super enjoyable. Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. The cast chemistry is really, really fun. Like, I'm really enjoying. Like, Shamia is, like, very annoying to me this season, and I liked her a lot last season. She's very annoying to me this season, but I love her role in this. I like that there's an annoying person who's like, what about me? Ugh. You know, like, you need to have these people.
Ben Mandelker
I'm enjoying her more on the show because now she's pissed that everybody doesn't like her.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
And I think that really worked. That kind of energy really works for her. I didn't like it when they were all acting like, oh, Shamiya's the new lead of Atlanta, you know, and she was walking around like, I'm the star of Atlanta Tribe. It's me, Shamia. I've been working at this for years, and finally I'm the star. And I was like, shut up. But now that she's on the out and she's like, why does everybody not like me? I love it. I think it's such a funny energy.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. I think the energy is really super strong right now. And I think when people annoy me on shows, it doesn't mean that I necessarily don't like them for the show. It just means that they're annoying me. But, like, you need to have people that annoy you.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, yeah. You know, you can't play Whack a Mole without moles popping Up. So we pick up where we left off. Kelly is yelling and, you know, screaming at Portia. They're yelling at each other, and she's being pulled into the house, and Shamia and Pinky are trying to talk her down, you know. So we split into the teams where Shamia, Kay, and Pinky are one team and everybody else is the other team. And Portia's in the house screaming at them at the top of the steps. Everybody knows that man knows you had sex with. And, yes, he was married and you were lying on me last year, so I licked your ass back. And you made it. You're mad about it. Okay. But Portia, to be fair, we all saw your relationship with Simon. You went to that man's house when he was married to that girl, Phelan, which I still love. Fallon.
Ronnie Caram
Fallon thought, I love it.
Ben Mandelker
It's kind of Fallon. She won. Sees her name, Fallon. So with Fallon, we saw you take that man. I mean, we saw it. I mean, they say you can't steal a man. Yes, you can. Yes. You can see some of these schlubby men walking around, and they get any other option. It's like, you can't steal a man. Okay, well, you can't put a man on a bus, sure. But the bus stops and the man's like, I need to get somewhere. I'm getting on the bus.
Ronnie Caram
I'm shocked they really have not had Fallon back because, like, this is such a thing. And, like, I feel like my lasting memory of Fallon is her. I think she was dressed as Medusa in the Halloween. And she came, like, running out with a golf club and chasing someone. And, like, yes. That's all I think of as, like, she had, like, scales on.
Ben Mandelker
Was it Kenya that she was fighting?
Ronnie Caram
Probably. We'll never see that Native American.
Ben Mandelker
So they had to cut it all out.
Ronnie Caram
I'm about to say we'll never see the episode again because Kenya made a national controversy, deservedly so. But, like, that's all I think of. This poor girl who went on TV dressed up like Medusa, chased someone around with a golf club, and then lost her husband.
Ben Mandelker
You know what I remember?
Ronnie Caram
Oh, I think she was also doing something on the side. Right.
Ben Mandelker
You know what I remember the most about Phelan was after the show. So she gets this thing, this big thing with Simon where she's like, simon's a piece of crap or whatever. And then Simon came out with his own videos. He's like, she was cheating on me with a pool boy. And then Phelan had Like one of those sit down interviews on YouTube with somebody. And they made like a huge set, like an all white set with these curtains. And it's like this very glamorous interview for failing to like come out about banging the pool boy or something.
Ronnie Caram
I was like, this is so good. How.
Ben Mandelker
How did they not continue that?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, you just, just. Especially because it's just. You'd think with Portia there, I'm surprised they haven't had like a sit down to be like the jilted exes of Simon. And we come together and we realize that, like, we shouldn't be at each other's throats. But I'm sure Portia just is like, nope.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I think even as jilted exes, you're gonna both be at each other's thr. No one's dating Simon cause he's like, hot and charming, you know, they're dating Simon cause he's rich as fuck. So you're gonna be fighting over the spoils. Yeah, you know?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, so Portia is, you know, she's going off and Kelly's like, I've been played with enough. Play with someone else. Cause when they go low, I go to the depths of hell. And Shamila's like, yeah, you went to hell, baby. You went to hell. She's like, I don't have time. So now Portia's out front now and she's like, you know why she popping
Ben Mandelker
off for a while? And you know when I'm talking to Kay and I'm yelling my ear, and I like picking her glass in my
Ronnie Caram
face just like, too much. And Angela's like, I mean, every Nigerian, Atlanta, I mean, she must have gotten that from somewhere. Where is that from?
Ben Mandelker
They've been saying that to each other for years. Remember that? Used to. Wasn't that a Portia versus Phaedra thing when they were accusing each other of. Oh, no, it was Kenya. Kenya and Portia were like, shaming each other for dating Africans.
Ronnie Caram
There was always like this, like. There's always like nameless. Nameless, like African, rich African men. Yes.
Ben Mandelker
They're all like, dating these, like, billionaire African men.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
So Angela, she got. She got it from watching the show. And Portia's like, well, that Nigerian, she just. Once she got off that plane, that was a married man and she's mad. And Angel's like a pastor. Who are these pastors? They get away with a lot in Atlanta.
Ronnie Caram
I feel like the pastors, of course. Yeah, they get a lot with.
Ben Mandelker
They get away with a Lot everywhere,
Ronnie Caram
I'm about to say.
Ben Mandelker
But on this show, seriously, the pastors on this show, I feel like, have Lamborghinis and mansions and.
Ronnie Caram
I mean, never, never forget Prophet. Lock.
Ben Mandelker
Exact lot.
Ronnie Caram
Lot. Profit lot.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Profit lot.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, I'll never forget Prophet.
Ronnie Caram
He was the. The. One of the greatest late. The late season plot twists that was such a. The, like, at the second to last episode. And they turned everything into, like, what about this unseen person who has not been part of the show the entire time? Profit lot.
Ben Mandelker
Profit lot.
Ronnie Caram
So Kelly is like, I don't want to tell you all what I went through this week. You think I'm gonna give you my pain for you bitches to laugh at? Absolutely not. Guess what? You're not gonna do what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna chest up, bitch, nipples out, and get the fuck out of here. Okay? Kelly's saying she doesn't want to tell us about what she went through this. This last week. It's a lie. Because all you do is tell us. What you do is you sit at a table somewhere with, like, a Diet Coke and mournfully talk about the latest thing that happened to you. Like, I didn't get my library card. It's like, you know, you're gonna tell us about it anyway, so don't act like you're not gonna. You're gonna withhold anything.
Ben Mandelker
And she wasn't. She wasn't laughing at your pain of your divorce. She was just accusing you of sleeping with a married man. So stop using your. Your pain for profit.
Ronnie Caram
Also, you jumped in. You jumped in. Kelly is the one who jumped into this whole conversation anyway.
Ben Mandelker
Although Portia did start it with her. Because they were gonna start. Remember, they were gonna start all peaceful. That typical housewife scene were like, let's have tea at this really weird tea place, and then we'll be peaceful. Right? But you did sleep with the married preacher. Remember that? So Portia started it, but also. Portia handles it better, but she also ends it better, you know?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
So she's like, yeah, chest up, bitch. Nipples out, and get the fuck out of here. And she meant, goes, you got good nipples. Your nipples are crazy.
Ronnie Caram
So then outside, Portia, one thing nobody has ever said to me, meanwhile, outside, Angela's like, so are we not gonna eat? Like, yeah, let's go back to the table. Cause we still want to eat food. So they're gonna head back.
Ben Mandelker
They're the only housewives they actually eat on.
Ronnie Caram
I know. Cause by the end of this entire scene, it winds up being I think Angela, Portia, and Phaedra just sitting at that table, they're still like, we're gonna eat. Cause they're like, oh, no, the chef's gonna make to go plates. Like, no, no, we're eating right now.
Ben Mandelker
And Kelly left. Like, you're the poor one. Like, Kelly and Pinky are leaving. You guys are the poor ones. You need to stay and get the food. Get the food.
Ronnie Caram
Pinky was like, damn, when she leaves, she's like, I don't even get to eat anything. I was like, this happens to you every episode. There's either food that you can't eat or you just don't get to eat. Like, this woman's never gonna be able to have anything to snack on.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
So Phaedra's like, the devil has entered the details. And I do mean Satan, honey. Because I've got two groups of women who can't be in the same room at from meditative to mayhem.
Ben Mandelker
And Kelly's saying, I don't want the old me to come out, so I'm leaving. I'm five feet tall, but I will six foot seven A.
Ronnie Caram
Okay. All right, all right.
Ben Mandelker
Kelly's got a lot of them in rapid fire, but they're. They're all just kind of like going down, you know, it's like a rapid fire gun.
Ronnie Caram
Just like the missiles are just like, yeah, yeah.
Ben Mandelker
But I did love when she starts getting into it with Portia again. And they're going in each other's face, and Kelly is just, like, down here waving her finger up. She's like, you're shouting. It's like the old man on the lawn shouting to the skies.
Ronnie Caram
Right?
Ben Mandelker
These damn kids.
Ronnie Caram
So Angela, Drew, and Portia sit back down. So Drew is part of this table thing. And Drew is like, you know, I tried to be supportive to Kay and get to know her, but she just has it out for me. It's just like, a lot of energy coming from her. Angel's like, well, Kay said that she had a tough time having female friends who. So I made it my business to try to get to know her. And we see that Angela and K. Michelle went to, like, lunch or dinner earlier. And basically Angela was like, don't worry, you'll get through this.
Ben Mandelker
Here's the problem, though. You go, you know, we've seen now multiple instances of people going to lunch with K. Michelle and trying to, like, be nice with K. Michelle. And K. Michelle is always so reserved and like, mm, thank you so much. Well, this is a great talk. I'm just Glad to be here. You need to speak with the other K. Michelle. So it needs to be like one of those Lifetime movies where somebody has, like, multiple personalities and then they have tricks to get the others out, you know?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Because you're not talking to the one that has the problem. You're talking to, like, the calm one.
Ronnie Caram
It's like the Exorcist.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. You just have to get the pea soup out.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Like, don't talk to the little girl.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Start reading prayers or something. Like, do it. Do your version of the Exorcist. The power of Andy Cohen compels you. Yeah. Whatever it is, you need to talk to that one. You guys are negotiating with the wrong terrorist.
Ronnie Caram
I know. So now Phaedra is. I mean, Pinky's like, wow. She said, we need another sound bath at this point, you know? And Kim, Michelle's like, yeah, no one
Ben Mandelker
wants to disrespect your house.
Ronnie Caram
And I tried.
Ben Mandelker
I'm talking.
Ronnie Caram
I'm trying. I tried, you know? You know, she's like, yeah, well, it got a little spicy with Drew there.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, yeah, because she's just yapping like a gnat. Like a.
Ronnie Caram
You know, as gnats. Do they yap?
Ben Mandelker
This was my favorite part. She goes. I mean, to watch a funny face girl. You know what I call her?
Ronnie Caram
Huh?
Ben Mandelker
Face. Which is such a good description of Drew. She's always like, what, me?
Ronnie Caram
What do you mean?
Ben Mandelker
What do you mean? You haven't gotten any award for anything. Okay.
Ronnie Caram
Huh?
Ben Mandelker
What has it done?
Ronnie Caram
Just kept wound up with a man in the basement with no shirt and taco hairs.
Ben Mandelker
I love that. The editor stood up for Ralph and showed a screenshot of Ralph with his blazer and no shirt on, and it said, no taco hairs.
Ronnie Caram
At the very least, he is wax. Yeah, but she says, you should change your face. I mean, K. Michelle does great, great interviews. I mean, like, she is.
Ben Mandelker
I call her Humpace Humphrey. Huh.
Ronnie Caram
So anyway, K. Michelle leaves, and Pinkie leaves with her and, you know, et cetera. And Pinkie's saying how Drew really inserted herself. Like, while K. Michelle is trying to share what she had to say. And Pinky's like, I didn't get to have my entree.
Ben Mandelker
And Phaedra's been doing this a long time. She knows to have the chef bring to go boxes for people, and she just packs everybody's food up to go. So I. Yeah, it's like, I know half of these people are going to leave after a fight during this. So let's make sure they get fed.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Like Yankee Doodle Dandy. Portia is like, yeah, you know, okay, Michelle, you know, she liked me.
Ben Mandelker
You know, I've got a good heart. But she feels like she has to
Ronnie Caram
fight with me for whatever reason. I just don't even know why. Probably because whoever told her the. The. What's it called? The conspiracy. Do you think it was a producer or a messy glam squad person? Or do you think it was a cast member?
Ben Mandelker
I don't even know. I mean, it was in the blogs that day, wasn't it? Weren't people seeing. Didn't they say, like, let's go check Twitter? What were they even talking about? I guess she said she was. She was pissed off on Twitter. I don't think it was in the blogs that day. I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't even be surprised if it was Drew who was like, well, you know that this girl had this gossip going on about her eight years. But the thing is, for you to be the one to bring it on camera is just so stupid. Like, why would you do that? Make yourself the victim when someone else does it? You can't. It's like that Tom Cruise movie where they. They can tell the future and they know who's gonna commit a crime, and they go, What is it? Where they are to report. Was that what it was? They can see. It's like the future police, and they can see who's gonna commit the crimes. They arresting people before they murdered someone. They're like, but I didn't do it. And he's like, but you will do it. And then he runs like this.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, it's like that.
Ben Mandelker
Like, they didn't do anything. You can't arrest them.
Ronnie Caram
You have to make screens out of your way like this. And Samantha Morton's gotta be in a fetal position somewhere. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
It's not fair to arrest people like that.
Ronnie Caram
That's not fair. Okay. I used to this, for years and years on this show, whenever something like this would happen, like, someone told me. But they don't ever say it. They don't say their name. In my mind, I'm always like, it was a producer. It was like, it's always a producer who got into someone's ear and said, by the way, you should do this because you should. You should be aware of this, because this is what's coming down the pike. I used to always believe it was producers who were up to bit, like, funny business. But honestly, I've really shifted away from that and I've really shifted into just messy glam squad team members. I think. I think the glam squad people are always at fault now. And you just have to wait like 20 minutes until we get to Drew wrangling her messy team together. What seemed to me like it was.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I was gonna say that's a perfect example of that.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. I was like in what's felt very much like a sizzle reel for a spinoff, which honestly, I would not be mad at. I actually could. I would.
Ben Mandelker
I would watch that a lot.
Ronnie Caram
I would watch Drew's messy ass team.
Ben Mandelker
Me too.
Ronnie Caram
The idea that an entire team of people to hoist up Drew Sedora, you know, like, again, you know who just
Ben Mandelker
said or who we just found out. And divor filings is making $12,000 a month. And she's got all these people supposedly
Ronnie Caram
that she's paying, by the way, K Michelle Yen later on calling Drew toobie
Ben Mandelker
to said aura said, I don't watch tubi. I've got toobie. Okay, that was a great scene. That was the best scene, I think, of this episode was that assistant scene. So, you know, they're talking like, why is this? And then Angela's the one. Cynthia's not here right now. So Angela's the one who was given this line. This group is fractured bad. I was like, that's kind of Cynthia's thing to say, which I'm sure she'll say later. This group is fractured bad. I see both sides and I just want to side with who's right now.
Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
Phaedra comes back and she's like, okay, well, you know, we talked. She apologized. She said, phaedra, I was not getting rowdy. You know, I don't know how it got to that point. And Portia's like, but every time Kelly was butting in, you know, k. Michelle would just be like, giving the supportive
Ronnie Caram
looks, and they show that she does do that. So Portia's like, okay, so, like, is
Ben Mandelker
this like a double? You know, like, because if you're wanting to be mature, then, like, why haven't
Ronnie Caram
you sent it to me?
Ben Mandelker
Like, you have not called my phone. You've not done anything, and this is
Ronnie Caram
not the place for you to do that at a sound bath. I'm like, well, this actually. Actually could be like, you know, I mean, she's right. K. Michelle should call Portia if they're really friends and be like, why the are you, like, plotting and scheming against me? Although if you find out that someone's plotting and scheming against you, you might be like, whoa, they're plotting and scheming against me? Like, like, you would. Maybe you're not. You know, I'm not even going to justify trying to understand the inner workings of Kate. Michelle's, like, conspiracy theories.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Because, I mean, even the whole way to go about it, like, doing it at a dinner where you're like. You're all blind and scheming. It's like, what? What are you talking about? Take the crazy lady away. So in the car with the other ladies came, and Shell's like, I'm trying to talk to you like a woman. And I'm not wrong in that. You gotta make me. You gotta make me be crazy. I've gotta make me try and try and make me look crazy. That's your own plotting and scheming against yourself.
Ronnie Caram
You know, the other thing is with Portia, you know, I don't know who. How. How any of these people are really, but I never got the sense that Portia was a plotter and schemer. I feel like Portia, anything that she is planning is only purely to raise her, is to focus on herself. Like, oh, I need to show people, like, a fun side, so I'm gonna force feed America. You know, endless scenes of Dennis, me and Dennis. Like, I never feel like she's trying to take other people down. I feel like she's just manufacturing scenes to build an image for herself. I just don't see her as, like, Kenya. I would see.
Ben Mandelker
I was gonna say, so you don't see her like a Kenya who's like, let's go to the cookie ladies store.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Like, where let's put up revenge porn, you know, Like.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I mean, Portia did have the thing with Phaedra, which got them both kind of canceled at that time, which was the Candy allegations.
Ronnie Caram
That's true. That's true. She did. She was an accessory.
Ben Mandelker
But if you believe. If you believe Portia, that was just Phaedra, and she fell for it.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
I mean, I just think that.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
I just don't see. I can see Portia saying something like, you know, that's bullshit. She needs to be sharing more on screen. If she doesn't share more, we're gonna make her share more. But, like, I don't see her being like, oh, we're gonna take her down and we're gonna destroy her. Like, I just don't think that's. Like, I don't get the sense that that's really her nature. I think that she really is mainly focused on herself, and she's just. I think Portia's too self involved to be conspiratorial about taking other people down.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. She's not thinking about anybody else. I think she's shocked when she's even in scenes with other people. She's like, what are you doing on my show? Like, I didn't cast you here.
Ronnie Caram
Isn't this still Portia getting married?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, exactly. Or the one with Simon. That was the best one. I mean, that show is truly great. If you haven't watched that yet.
Ronnie Caram
I watched some of it. I didn't watch all of it.
Ben Mandelker
That's one that you definitely need to watch on like just a weekend where you're, you're sitting around like you have the flu or something. Like there's nothing, you know, Watch it. It is. She is unhinged on that show.
Ronnie Caram
So, okay, so after all this happens,
Ben Mandelker
doesn't this feel weird being in a studio?
Ronnie Caram
I like it.
Ben Mandelker
I do too. I think also because we're together, you know, we're not doing together.
Ronnie Caram
I know, it's fun. Well, it feels like we're like a slumber party.
Ben Mandelker
How are you doing over there? You okay? Do you watch any of the Housewives show?
Ronnie Caram
No.
Ben Mandelker
No. You poor thing. God bless you. Having to sit here.
Ronnie Caram
Doesn't this make you want to watch?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, she's going on leave after this.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, seriously.
Ben Mandelker
Don't worry.
Ronnie Caram
We only have six more hours.
Ben Mandelker
We'll only be here till tomorrow.
Ronnie Caram
So now we go to Shamia's parents house, which is nice. Her mom's like making grits and everything. And it feels very sit commie over there, like, you know, like, oh, come on in, Shamia. So she comes in and now Shamila,
Ben Mandelker
can I say, this family does not want to hear. This family is so sick of your bullshit. And they're only listening to you because you're rich as hell and you're paying for them all to live. Because this family, when she's going on and on about her friends, every face was like, really? I have to hear more of your bullshit?
Ronnie Caram
Okay, so Shamia starts talking about going to the sound bath. She starts talking about how she starts sinking in the pool and everything. And she's like, well, if that's not a sign, I don't know what it is. And I was looking around. Did you do it? Did you do it? Did somebody do this to me? I was like, I just couldn't believe it. Anyway, this group is divided and stemming from Dallas, and I don't want that. But that's where we are in the division. They're trying to say it's me. I'm like, literally no one said it's you. You called a house meeting because you, you were suspicious that they would say it was you. So you called a house meeting to get in front of it. And everyone sat there and was like, what's going on? Like, who said this? Shamia, what's the issue? You're the one that's saying it, and you've got to look on your face.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, there is plotting and scheming. And they're like, wait, but that's what she said. That's what. That's k. Michelle's line. Plotting and scheming. So we're plotting and scheming. I love her confusing Portia. I mean, they did kind of ask her because k. Michelle said, so last night I heard somebody was plotting and scheming. And they're like, well, but you were just with. With Shamia and Kelly last night, so who told you? And she's like, and now you're blaming me. I will put on a bikini and confront all of you at house.
Ronnie Caram
And the way she's telling the story to her family, her family would probably think like, oh, my God, Shamia, she's like the villain of the season.
Ben Mandelker
Wow.
Ronnie Caram
That's kind of high profile. Because she's like, they're blaming it on me. And I just can't believe this season has come down to a she versus she disagreement. And I'm one of the. She's. Can you believe it? I'm basically the linchpin of this entire thing. And they're like. They're like, wow, what's going on?
Ben Mandelker
Can I have another hundred dollars? My rent is late. Did the automatic transfer not go through?
Ronnie Caram
So she's going through this whole thing and she's saying like. And you know what? Angela's definitely trying me. I'm like, Angela basically looked at you and said, why do you have that face on? Like, that's, you know, like, that's what that came from.
Ben Mandelker
So anyway, well, she's saying that Angela said, you know, you're telling Kate Michelle something to where she's not liking us. I like how vague she is with all of this. Of this stuff to her family, you know, so Shamia's like, you know, I don't know why I'm being blamed for this. I don't have any clue. Maybe I'm delusional. Maybe I need to sing that song. Delusional girl. Just. At least that's one that people remember. That's a good song, actually.
Ronnie Caram
Delulu. Delulu. Oh, yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So Shamia's mom is like, at the end of the day, you could take care for Daycare, you got people that want to make you negative Shamia, you know, they're jealous. Someone's like, they're jealous. She's like, let them have their garbage thoughts to themselves and take it and run with it. And when you get that garbage thought, you put it in your purse, you turn it into a rainbow and you ask that horse when it's gonna run around the block. I was like, are you just saying words? What the fuck kind of motherly advice is she even giving at this point? She's just making things up. That mom. It's just like, I'm tired, Shamia. I've already stole Portia's mother's daycare. What more do you want from me, okay? I'm doing my job.
Ronnie Caram
The dayc, the daycare fight, which based on the mid season trailer, looks like it's going to be coming back.
Ben Mandelker
And I would like to think, you know, I'm one of those people. I think maybe it's mental illness where you, oh, I thought she was waving at us. There's someone out there. She's hanging something. She hanging. I want to know what it is.
Ronnie Caram
That was very Shamia of you. Can you believe it? And I was at ACAST and people just started waving at me left and right. It's like, I can't have any peace
Ben Mandelker
charging something on a ship shelf. Weird. Anyway, yeah, so I feel like I have mental illness where, you know, crazy people on TV see the news and they think it's about them. They're like, oh, they're watching me. I feel like that with Housewives where I'm like, I requested this because I remember when that mother daycare storyline was out, I was like, forget Shamia, I need this mother storyline out here stat. Because I was reading all about it on Reddit and here it is. It's like when we went on Watch what Happens and I was like, sheree needs to be back. And she was back the next season. You know what? God. God is listening.
Ronnie Caram
God provides.
Ben Mandelker
God, I love you.
Ronnie Caram
God really, really provides.
Ben Mandelker
I need to really start focusing on more positive things probably.
Ronnie Caram
I don't know if I've used this secret very effectively because last time I checked, real Girlfriends of Paris is still not on the air.
Ben Mandelker
That's true.
Ronnie Caram
So anyway, they talk about surrogacy and now like Shamia's crying because she can't have like another boy.
Ben Mandelker
Don't keep care.
Ronnie Caram
I mean, like I, I, I understand some of it. Like, you know, I think she just is, it's, it's challenging but Like, I already. I already said this during Beverly Hills, which is that I'm kind of over watching Fertility Journal journeys in general. And again, I don't know if that's. That might be just, like, some obnoxious male bias or whatever. And I know this is, like, a real journey that people go on, so it's very relatable to many, but it's kind of like, always the same thing on Bravo. It's always the same thing. And I feel like for a lot of times, it's. We see a lot of women on. On the network sort of like putting their bodies at risk just for men. I'm not saying that that's what's happening with Shamia here, but I'm now just going on a tangent, so.
Ben Mandelker
Well, it's not that she doesn't want a kid. You know, she's saying she needs to give Gerald a son.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
I'm like, this is not Renaissance times. Whatever. So Shamia gets up thinking about how Shiloh, you know, she's talking about Shiloh and her illnesses and stuff like that, which I'm not gonna fuck with, obviously. So then we go back to everybody just doing stuff, and Portia and Dennis taking Pilar to school. Presumably, it says in our notes. And. No, that's Drew's kids. Where you're like, presumably. Yeah. So Angela's looking at spiders in her new house. You know, we're just doing stuff like that. So restaurant Drew and her manager, Drew's late, as always. And she's like, wow, you've got 15 people waiting and you're still late, ma'. Am.
Ronnie Caram
Yep. Then we have. We go to Phaedra's house, and Kelly comes over. The butler greets her, and Phaedra's like, wow. So your. Your boobs. You know, Kelly's boobs are like a sweet chariot. They hang low. Because apparently she does not like brush. I did not realize that. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, I hate wearing bras.
Ronnie Caram
So she's asking how things are. And Kelly's like, well, I truly want to apologize for my behavior at the event. I would never want to come into your home and disrupt anything. It's like, you would never want to. And yet that's literally what you did. And you didn't have to.
Ben Mandelker
You do that often. So I don't. I don't need the apology. He knows his housewives. Phaedra knows. She had the to goes. She knows. So she's like, you know, when it comes. When. In regards to Portia, I definitely take ownership of things. That I've said about her, but, you know, I've had enough of her putting her finger in my face. And then they cut to them wagging. You know, this is the giant waving up to the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk. How dare you terrorize my neighborhood. No one stole your golden goose. Go back to your house.
Ronnie Caram
And so, yeah, Kelly's like saying, you know, she's like, yeah, Portia has to take ownership. And. And then she's like, you know, this is the same person who married a man in their divorce documents. Well, and so Phaedra's like, well, I don't know what's in those divorce documents. Well, I'm. I'm telling you, I've seen them online, and I'm not interested in being friends with Portia when she thinks it's convenient for her. I am a friend. Three, six, five, not two, six, five. And we have a flashback to when. When Portia said to Needy that this is a 265 day a year situation. I've forgotten about that.
Ben Mandelker
So she doesn't know she's ever gonna be good. And Phaedra's like, I may need to bring out my flute again. So then she's like, come on, just make up with the girls. And Kelly's like, you know, now I can't shoot with my children. And they're like, am I just not good enough to be on this show? Is that what it is? Yes. Do the children need extreme talent to
Ronnie Caram
be on this show?
Ben Mandelker
If you watch his show, some of these children are like pencil erasers. It requires nothing. You just have to sit there.
Ronnie Caram
So then Phaedra starts. Phaedra's like, by the way, I heard you gave a special shout out to somebody, somebody named Jarvis. Was he named after the port in Pennsylvania? She's like, yes, Port Jarvis. You know, he's been a really, really good man. She's like, oh, is this a prospect? Yes, he's a good prospect. He's wonderful. But then she says, well, I. You know, I don't want to announce. Well, Phaedra says that she doesn't want to. That Kelly doesn't want to announce Jarvis to the group because she's very nervous about what the group will do, and she understands that. But Kelly, on the one hand, is like, I can't believe. I can't believe my husband will let me shoot. I have my children on screen. But then when it comes to her man, she's like, oh, no, I'm not putting them on. Yeah, yeah, I will let my Children face national ridicule. But not the guy I'm interested in.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, he's gonna earn. He's gonna buy me a whole new set of teeth first, and then we'll see.
Ronnie Caram
Until my children start buying me veneers. They do not get any protection. Exactly.
Ben Mandelker
So then we go to someone who does let their kids or whose kids are allowed to shoot Pinky's daughter doing a cute little photo shoot.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Pinkie's daughter is amazing. What we also did not get to recap last week was the daughter making her a really big star making moment. Was. Which is her walking into the room and did she. Was it she. Was she singing the Alphabet? Was she going.
Ben Mandelker
She goes, ab. Yes. That was so cute. They're like. And now here she is.
Ronnie Caram
Tqtv. Oh, my God. I was like, give her a show.
Ben Mandelker
You know, like her little princess outfit. They're like, here she comes. There she is. Go ahead, honey. It's like A, B, T, D, E, F, T, jll, abcd.
Ronnie Caram
She was so. That was so adorable. And you know, I say that as someone who really does not like children. So she's doing a photo shoot because they're gonna have Pinky. Pinky's daughter is gonna be, like, representing a brand or a fashion label or something like that. So Angela comes in the Milano de Rouge. Milano D. Rouge, which is the brand.
Ben Mandelker
Is that a cookie?
Ronnie Caram
You know, I don't know. But you know what, though? Can I say something? Delta Airlines now carries Milanos as a snack.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, how about that? Look, you just worked so hard to get your diamond status.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
With that airline. And you got rewarded.
Ronnie Caram
But, like, this is for everyone. It's not like, you don't have to be at a status.
Ben Mandelker
It's for you.
Ronnie Caram
It's a diamond. It's a diamond status. No, it's. You know, but the thing is, they did. As a result, they took away. They had these really good shortbread cookies that had, like, a big chunk of fudge right in the middle.
Ben Mandelker
I didn't like that. I don't like that.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, I like those quite a bit. But those are gone, which makes me sad. But the Milanos are there now.
Ben Mandelker
And I'm like, when did they get rid of the stroopies who had those?
Ronnie Caram
Those were United.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, that was United.
Ronnie Caram
And I got to give a shout out. I got to give a shout out to. Oh, wait, I don't. I'm going to say their name wrong. So I'm not going to give their shout out until I get their name right. But I'll look it up because they sent me stroopwafels, but I'll get to the bottom of it.
Ben Mandelker
Well, those still have those.
Ronnie Caram
I, I haven't flown United.
Ben Mandelker
I'm wondering how much they got sued from just ruining people's teeth, because those are the worst things for your teeth.
Ronnie Caram
No, no.
Ben Mandelker
Like, my teeth would literally hurt out and I would still eat them every time. But I was like, is this pulling out my teeth?
Ronnie Caram
Oh, my God. Actually. So United famously stopped carrying the stroopwafels and they replaced it with some sort of, like, maple cookie. And everyone got mad because everyone loved the stroopwafels. And I don't know if the cookie. I don't know if. I don't know if that. I don't know if they ever went back to the stroopwafels. But, like, the stroopwafels on United, like, that would be almost enough for me to change. Changed all of my loyalty to United. But the fact that they got rid of them, I was, like, never going back. I don't know why, like, the Stroopwafel company did not go, like, Daleman's was the brand. I don't know why they did not go to another airline. Because, like, the stroopwafels. And I'll tell you one thing, like, I'm over the biscoffs. Like, biscoffs are nice, but, like, I
Ben Mandelker
don't like the biscoffs either. I don't.
Ronnie Caram
It's basically like a thick graham cracker.
Ben Mandelker
I just don't understand why it's so difficult to make a casual cookie. Why? It's actually not good. They're all so dry and shitty.
Ronnie Caram
They're fine. They're fine. But, like, but what, What I don't like is this. It's like. And as a snack, we have a cookie available. So when someone says cookie, I'm thinking something a little decadent. Maybe there's a chocolate chip in there or maybe it's a whatever. But, like, if it's a biscoff. To me, a biscoff is, like, not even, like, a cookie. It's, it's a biscuit or a, it's just like its own entity. But I, I, I feel misled, quite frankly, whenever they say there's a cookie available and it's only a biscoff and I'm sick of it.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it feels like a dog cookie. Yeah. But sweeter.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Anyway, so anyway, let's see this Stroopwafel company. So they're doing a photo shoot. It's cute. I don't care. So then Dutch waffle Cynthia comes, and Angela comes, and they're talking about this party again. And Angela's like, oh, it was bad, Cynthia. There were already issues walking into the room. And then Kay had an issue with Portia and Drew. And Cynthia's like, this group is fragmented. Well, I already said that. This episode, Cynthia. Okay, cut that. Okay. This group is like a bunch of kids on a school bus. You just want to pull that bus over.
Ronnie Caram
Child.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, that was better. Keep that.
Ronnie Caram
Okay. By the way, I do want to also mention that. So Angela brought her daughter, and so then her daughter started doing poses. And I'll tell you, the real star. I mean, as much as I love Pinky's daughter, Angela's daughter striking those poses, they only showed it for, like, one second, and if you missed it, you missed it. But I could have just sat there and watched 20 minutes of Angela's daughter doing those poses because she was living out every gay boy's adolescence at that moment. She's like a hand behind the head, hand out. She's like, every pose looked like she was auditioning to be in Punky Brewster. It was great.
Ben Mandelker
So Pinky updates them on what K. Michelle's problem is. She's like, look, Portia, the first time K. Michelle met Portia, she was accusing somebody of, you know, fucking some married guy. Then she brings up the. You know, she just goes through it. She brings up the, was it a miscarriage? And all of that stuff. So she feels like Portia gives a mean girl energy. Okay? You know, that's not a terrible take. But K. Michelle is also the one who's like, you're ugly. You're as career sacked. You don't have anything. So. So it's not like K. Michelle's the nicest person, you know. That's what cracks me up. She's always acting like I cannot stand women tearing each other down. These ugly hookers calling each other thing when they don't even have money or a job. They're ugly, and they should get a new face. I'm sick of mean people. You are one of them.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
You are one of them civil plates.
Ronnie Caram
She's like, I can't. I don't like this mean girl energy. Meanwhile, I'm not gonna allow any woman to work at my husband's dental practice because I don't trust women. It's like, well, that's mean girl energy right there. So anyway. Yes, there. So Angela's like, You know, and then you know that. That apparently they share a next boyfriend of sorts. And Cynthia's like, what?
Ben Mandelker
What?
Ronnie Caram
Tim X boyfriend? What are you talking about? And then boyfriends in this group, they're so fractured. And then Angela saying, yeah, and then Kelly said that Porsche fucked every Nigerian in Atlanta. So Cynthia's like, ah, gosh, I felt like a calling from God that I came early. And then I was removed from that space because when the shit hits the fan, the Lord says, oh, not today, Satan. Not these cheekbones, honey. Because Cynthia's like, thank God I got out of that sound bath before all this happened.
Ben Mandelker
Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap. That's it, part two. See you over there, suckers.
Ronnie Caram
Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Ben Mandelker
Our way is the Amber way.
Ronnie Caram
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
Ben Mandelker
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Danielle. We never miss her call. It's Diane call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
Ronnie Caram
Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no Trickolus you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less
Ben Mandelker
namey Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout.
Ronnie Caram
It's Katie Manock, she's our favorite streamer. Carolina on Peacock.
Ben Mandelker
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
Ronnie Caram
This is Living with Michelle Vivian.
Ben Mandelker
I love a Ya. Olivia Williamson.
Ronnie Caram
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Ben Mandelker
Yes we can. It's Savannah.
Ronnie Caram
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Ben Mandelker
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors, she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10
Ronnie Caram
cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the
Ben Mandelker
gold with Brenda Silva.
Ronnie Caram
Let's get real with Caitlin o'. Neal.
Ben Mandelker
Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses It's Christine Hogle don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides who, what, why, where?
Ronnie Caram
And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish.
Ben Mandelker
It's Jen Plish have a kebab with
Ronnie Caram
K Rob my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo let's get savage with Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthi always killin it It's Lola Al Kalani Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers the incredible edible Matthews
Ben Mandelker
sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose she's the lady of the house It's Rachel Sharous there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's our princess It's Rebecca Prince she's the queen
Ronnie Caram
bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot tell
Ben Mandelker
a lie It's Sarah tell of son
Ronnie Caram
Shannon out of a can and Anthony please don't stop at solely and pop let's take off with Tamla plain Strike
Ben Mandelker
a pose It's Tori Rose she ain't no shrinking violet coutar we love you guys.
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Watch What Crappens – Episode #3387: RHOA S17E09 Part One: Sasquatch What Happens Release Date: June 1, 2026 | Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
This episode of Watch What Crappens finds Ben and Ronnie gathered in person at the Acast Studios in NYC to dissect the Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 17, Episode 9 (Part One). The hosts bring their signature blend of adoration, shade, and over-caffeinated glee, focusing on Bravo’s drama: Shamea’s embryo saga, Kelly’s divorce struggles, lesbian energy, K. Michelle’s endless grievances, and the infamous sound bath gone wrong. Buckle up for sharp asides, queenly banter, and plenty of quotables.
Shamea’s Embryo Journey
Portia’s Love Life
Kelly’s Divorce & Filming Limits
Phaedra’s Many Jobs/Sound Bath Setup
The ladies arrive—nicely dressed—to meditate on pool floats (Shamea’s promptly starts sinking). (“If I were dressed so nicely, I would just never get on one of those things … at one moment, I’m tipping into that water.” – Ronnie, 22:12)
Shamea’s “Victim” Complex
K. Michelle’s Weekly Drama Drop
Quote of the Episode:
Dining Table Battle Escalates
Shamea’s Family House Scene (49:37–55:13)
Phaedra & Kelly’s “Boob Talk” and Friendship Tensions (55:59–57:42)
Pinky’s Daughter’s Scene (59:15–60:53)
The recap is both loving and eviscerating: Ben and Ronnie bask in the meta-absurdity of modern Housewives, poke fun at the cast’s self-mythologizing, and revel in K. Michelle’s weekly drama bombs. The banter is fast-paced, shade is plentiful, and every housewife is both a muse and a target for the hosts’ wit.
Memorable Ending Exchange:
End of Part One Recap. For the next explosive batch of drama, check out Part Two!