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your outside Watch up Crash what happens, Watch what happens, Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie. Hello. Hello.
D
How's it going?
B
Great. It's our second episode here in the ACAST offices because we're here in New York City. We have a cabaret this week which will be very exciting. You can stream it. If you're not here and you don't have a ticket, go to our website watchwalkcraftens.com or there's a link on our social media and you can buy streaming tickets. You can buy those tickets all the way up to showtime of the show that you are going to be watching, at which point you will then have that available to watch for a week. But the tickets stop going on sale the moment you hit showtime. So come join us for that. That's going to be a big silly evening of music and hopefully remembering all our lines then also that's it. Patreon. Ronnie put up a great new newsletter so check that out. Read what happens, read what crap ends, I should say, and ad free listening. All that great stuff and videos. You can actually watch us in this beautiful set here. And today we are talking about Real Housewives of Rhode Island. We did not recap last week's because we were on break, but it was a. It was a big old fun episode. Ronnie, what what are you thinking? What are your thoughts?
D
That was a really good episode. It was a rough one to miss, but God it was worth it.
B
It was worth it because I'm really. I've not been loving Kelsey all season, and I'm like, I need something that was going to help me. I need something to help me, like, really start to solidify why I don't like her. And I think how that episode opened was with her mashing her garbage down with her bare foot.
D
With her bare foot. What the.
B
When I saw that, I was like, ben, please remember this. Remember this for next week. Remember, you have seven days to remember this. And I'm so happy I made it to seven days. And I was like, I have to say this. I know it's not the lead of the episode. There are bigger things that happened.
D
Oh, that's a pretty big one.
B
But I feel like no people were people even talking about that. I thought it was gonna be, like, a meme. I thought it was gonna be a thing. Like, look at this girl. She just put that barefoot in her garbage.
D
That was disgusting. I mean, talk about somebody who's never had to do anything by herself.
B
Yeah.
D
Like, who does that? It's like when Catherine from Southern Charm got some new apartment in the city that. I don't know who was paying for that. Some rich guy was paying for that, I think, on the plot of the show. And she moved into this new place, and we saw her take out the trash, and she just took the trash can and turned it upside down into the dumpster. With no trash bag or anything.
B
None.
D
It's like a. It was a. Almost. This one was worse because it was. Because this was the barefoot on top of the trash.
B
But also, like, you're. You work in, like, the beauty space. And I just feel like I don't know if I want someone touching my hair who, like, just puts their foot into garbage. I don't know why. It's two different body parts.
D
It is two different body parts.
B
But, like, it's just like the. But it's the standards. It's like the standards, you know?
D
If you'll put your foot in the garbage, where will you put your hands?
B
Yeah. And then that foot's walking around. That foot is like. It's like garbage footprints all over your.
D
All over your house.
B
Yeah, I don't want that.
D
People who make you take your shoes off in the house because they don't want you to track shit from the street into your house, which I get. But then those feet, it's just disgusting. So there was another scene with her and Billy, her new boyfriend. Her quote, unquote new boyfriend. The guy that she's Been banging for a long time now. And they go on a date with Liz and her husband and Jo Ellen. It's like a triple couples date. And Kelsey is sitting there talking about how she's still getting everything paid for by the ex. And Bill's trying to assert his manhood, and he's like, I don't like that guy paying for all this stuff for you. You know, that's not cool. I'm your man. You know what? I'm a man. And I'm a man who loves a bargain. If you've got an ex who wants to pay for shit that I don't have to pay for, I'm in for it. Who's not into that? Also, Billy. You don't have any money.
B
What does Billy do?
D
Ever dated a poor person? Like, yeah, what do you think you're going to pay for her health insurance and her car and her this and her that? No. You're going to try and make her downsize, like a Toyota and, you know, get her on the cheapest HMO plan and shit?
B
No, Billy, when she comes to you and she's like, my foot is infected from stepping in the garbage too much, do you want to be the one who has to pay those medical bills?
D
You want to be the one to pay for that? And also we found out that she has. She had, like, a brain. She had a brain. Was that last week or this week?
B
This week.
D
She talks about she had a brain thing, like a brain tumor. That scared me. Like, you just go to the doctor. Like, for you, she.
B
It was like an accidental. A car accident. But you know what happened to my friend, too? My friend fell off of a hammock. And so she went to the hospital because her. Her husband at the time was afraid that she may have had a concussion. And so when they checked her out for a concussion, they discovered that she had a brain tumor. It's crazy scary.
D
So is that something we should just go check for?
B
I mean, it's probably. It's probably a good. Good reason to get one of those, like, full body scans. It's like, I kind of want to get a full body scan because it's
D
like, they offered us that and we said, no, you said they were problematic, so.
B
Well, that was like an RFK thing. And I was like, I'm not doing any medical thing that's associated with rfk. I'm sorry.
D
Called rfk. What was it called?
B
It was like his best friend's. I don't remember, but it was like his friend's medical Company. And I was like, was it, like,
D
the Pro nouveau or whatever?
B
It wasn't that. That's Jeff Lewis's thing, but this was something else entirely. And at first I was excited to do it, and then I was like, oh, I just don't. I feel like RFK gives me the ick.
D
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but like, a full body scan. I mean, he's not going to be there.
B
No, I know. I just was like, someone. I don't know, someone who medically is, like, down with rfk. I'm just not sure I trust what they're going to have to say to me.
D
Well, I'm not sure I trust my full body scan. God knows what's in there. I feel like there's gum from, like, the fifth grade still floating around in there.
B
Yeah, I'm scared.
D
Cigarette butt.
B
But anyway, the point is, so they did go on this, like, triple date. And the most relevant part of that was that they started talking about Alicia and whether or not she was actually homeless. And so Joellen's. Joellen's man, Gary, he was like, no, I knew her. She wasn't homeless. She wasn't homeless. No, I know she wasn't homeless.
E
Then they're like, yeah, my God, she wasn't homeless. Like, yeah, she wasn't homeless. They're all saying, like, yeah, she wasn't homeless.
F
Yeah, if you're not home, if you're not coming up to my windshield, spraying it without me giving you consent, you're not homeless.
D
All right, this.
F
Homeless. Almost homeless.
D
You guys, you get what she's saying? She was a little kid. Her dad left them. He took their home from them. They had to move in with family.
B
Yeah, they didn't have a. In that moment, they were not just. They were displaced, but like I said. And I understand why. Why. What's her face. Liz is, like, a little perturbed by it, because it's, like, to say that you were homeless, you're going to be earning a lot of sympathy that maybe is not earned. It's not like you were literally out on, like, on a sidewalk. You were not, like, you weren't, like, in a car. But they were displaced, and it was traumatic for them. And so. But, like, Liz is. Liz is essentially saying, you know, there are people who are in much worse situations, and you're gonna kind of be. You're on TV now, and you're saying that, and you're gonna be gaining so much more sympathy. It's like, when Bethany said it, it wasn't cool. And Bethany said it.
D
Well, that was different because Bethany was literally in a luxury hotel.
B
That was great.
D
And complaining about it to her driver and her gigantic.
E
I'm the wealthiest homeless person in all of New York City.
D
Yeah, so that was different. I mean, Alicia. I think it's different with Alicia.
B
The core of. It's the same in that, like, you know, she's saying, like, it's not. It's not cool to sort of appropriate this sort of status.
D
Oh, stop. Gatekeeping. Homelessness. Not you.
B
No, no, but it's not. But meaning that, like, it's like, you weren't on the street and, like, she was kicked out.
D
Her dad took their house and had to move in with family. I mean, if she didn't say that part, if she was like, no, no, we were homeless, okay, then she would be lying. But to say, like, she said I had to leave my house as a very small child and had to move in with family. She's not saying she was on the street. She just. Look, I don't.
B
I'm not mad at Alicia. I'm just saying, like, I understand why Liz was like, you shouldn't be saying that, because you're really applying something different.
D
Let it go. I mean, it's like you're arguing with somebody who has a very limited vocabulary. You know what I mean? You can't expect Alicia to know a lot of words. She doesn't know a lot of words. She knows Cracker Haas. She doesn't know Dal. She doesn't know very many words. Just let her have it, you know?
B
Oh, I agree.
D
And this, like, gatekeeping of homelessness is annoying, too. It's like, well, what is real? You know? I don't know. It's like all of you just said.
B
I don't think it's really gatekeeping. I think it's just more like she's
D
saying, you're not homeless enough.
B
Well, I think it's just saying, like, I'm more. Say. If you look, the good news is she was. She was neither homeless nor was she toothless. So those are two good things for her.
D
That's great.
B
But I think that ultimately I understand, like, that's Liz's bone to pick. I do think, though, that it's like, she just has to drop it, because it's just. It's. It's like we all understood what Alicia meant. We didn't. She used the wrong word, probably. Yeah, maybe she should have said displaced.
D
But, like, you can't play semantics with somebody who doesn't know the word semantics. You Know what I mean? Yeah.
B
Well, and speaking of which, we also had, last week, we had basically Shark Tank with Alicia where she basically, she wanted to make a pitch to Billie as to why she should have ownership
E
of Pizzeria Mama and Pizza Mama. Pizza Mama? Yeah.
D
I came up with the idea for Pizza Mama. Like, I showed a pot of Pizza Baba.
E
Pizza Mama.
B
Pizzeria Mama. That's way too fancy.
E
Pizza Mama.
B
Yeah.
D
Give it a lot of credit.
B
I know. So she does this whole presentation with their daughter. What's the daughter's name again?
E
Mama, Mama. Little Mama, Dada.
D
Pizza Chip.
B
Dada. Spelled D A, D O. Dada. D A. I love my Dada Dada. And she does this presentation and it's like, it's like a science fair experiment in sixth grade. She has like the foam core and she actually literally got like the science fair thing that folds open and the daughter's there and she's like, okay, press play. It was so funny. But the thing that was crazy was I thought actually several of her ideas were very good.
D
You know, her ideas were like, okay, first of all, we gotta make the employees hotter. So I want them to dress cuter. So, like, we gotta get hotter clothes. You know, we're gonna have to. The waitresses are gonna dress hot. He's like, okay, I'm down for that. And they're like, who doesn't want to? You know, you're bringing sexual harassment back into the workplace. Can we call them toots? Yeah, call them toots. They like that.
E
Also chandeliers.
B
Yeah. Well, actually, I think she'd already put in the chandeliers.
E
She's like, you know, when I came into Pizza Mama, my big idea, chandeliers, that was it. Cause like, the chandeliers make it like an elevator thing. And that was me. I care about chandeliers.
D
Boom. Give me 50% of that company. You know, we should get a chandelier. I'll take half this business. Thank you. And I also like when she said, oh, yeah. So you know what? It's like a romantic place for girls. You know, it's a pizza place for girls. So, like, we should have, like, hearts. You know, the pizza should be shaped like a hot.
B
I think that's a good idea. I think a heart shaped pizza is really good.
D
I don't think it'll cook evenly. There's like, things you have to think about in a pizza. There's a reason a pizza's fucking round.
B
I think I've seen heart shaped pizza.
D
Well, was it raw in the middle?
B
It was well, that. Isn't that love?
D
Probably.
B
Isn't that what RJ pizza should be?
D
That's true love.
B
But I think it's actually a great idea. People will get it for Valentine's Day. But also I think people will get it as, like a novelty. Like, you know, there'll be someone who'll go, oh, yeah, a heart shaped pizza. That might be fun. I don't know. I think.
D
Imagine cutting it. Like, who gets a bigger piece? Like, it's just an awkward thing.
B
You can figure it out. You can figure it out.
D
They should just make them personal pan so that only, you know, you can only get a personal sign. And then, you know, it's like you're celebrating love. But only single people get it.
E
Yeah.
B
Or several pan pizzas put together in a heart formation. Oh, it's very small, tiny pizzas. No, I just.
D
Two round pizzas with just a slice at the bottom. That can make a heart kind of.
B
Yeah. I mean, honestly, I think that, like. I mean, her ideas were not, like, okay, put her on Forbes 500. But, like, her ideas are not terrible.
D
Well, how are you gonna reinvent a pizza place? It's a fucking pizza place.
E
Yeah.
D
You know.
B
You know, but like, she's gonna find a way to do it. So that was her thing.
D
She's gonna find a way to get that 10% and good for her.
B
Good for her. And Billy was like, yeah.
D
She's like, okay. So he's like, I love your ideas. Well, first it started contentiously because she's like, you know, like. Like, what do you want me and my daughter to have? Nothing. Like, when you leave me? He's like, no. He's like, when I die, everything goes, who? Nobody. I don't get it.
B
No, she. Yeah, she was like, yeah, she actually thought she was gonna get it. He's like, no, I'm not giving it to you.
D
No, he said he was gonna give everything to him. Her and her daughter. And she was like. She cut him off and was like, no, no, no, you're not. Like, she was ready to fight with him, but I don't know if he was just very aware that he was on tv, but he was like, what are you talking about? I'm gonna leave you everything when I pass. Like, oh, no, you're not. No, you're not. And then he's like.
B
He said he had systems in place to make sure.
D
It was like, I've done estate planning and I've done this. She goes, oh, yeah, you've done estate planning to, like, leave me Nothing. What's that? He goes, listen, I don't really think you understand what we're talking about, so you're getting upset. She goes, oh, really? Now I don't understand. You're leaving me homeless with nothing. He's like, lady, like, he literally don't understand English right now.
B
And then she's like, I want 50%. He's like, okay, well, 10. Oh, she said 10.
E
I thought she.
D
Yeah, she said 10.
B
Oh, 10.
D
I said 50 earlier, but I was being ridiculous. Yeah, she wanted 10. And he's like, okay, I'll give you 10. I was like, girl, you could have gotten so much more than 10. But then she wrote into her own contract, if she works. She wrote, why'd you add that?
F
Why are you.
D
Why are you negotiating against yourself?
B
Well, I don't know if that contract will hold up in a court of law, considering it was, like, written on, like, you know, a notepad with, like, a troll doll pencil. So then the. The big climactic thing, which was pretty epic, is that they all were gonna drive up to Boston. Shockingly, they were not going to Newport again. They were going up to Boston because Rich was doing his Frank Sinatra cabaret thing. So they were going to drive up, and they're going in sessions. Oh, oh, by the way, if you want to know if Rula was gonna go, it. No, she wasn't, because Rula does. Rula does not show up. People were upset. You know, they had the seating arrangement for this show for the reunion, and Rula got, like, second seat. And people like, this is. Rula should be first rulers. Like, it's been all about rule. I'm like, I'm sorry. Rula does not deserve first seat. She just. She has to show up now. I heard from someone that Rula was originally supposed to be a friend of. And because of everything with Brian, she got elevated to Real Housewives status, which would explain why she's not showing up to a lot of stuff, because she probably wasn't intended to it. But, like, Rula is, like, nowhere to be found. And, like, that's the joke with her, is that she's, like, working remotely on this show, and she really is. Like. She's. She shoots. She has in one scene every episode, and that's it. Like, today, she got her one scene, but she's not doing group events at all, which is crazy.
D
Well, one scene last week was really funny. She was walking on the beach, and she's like, oh, my God, what a shock. My neighbor Amanda. And Amanda's like, oh, my God, Jo Ellen's such a bitch, right? She's like, yeah, tell them. Tell the people.
B
Tell them.
D
What a crazy coincidence.
B
What a crazy coincidence.
D
Amanda here to badmouth Joellen.
B
That cracked me up. So anyway, they're gonna go to watch Rich do his Frank Sinatra. So in one car, we have four people. In this car, we have Alicia, Liz, Joellen, and a charcuterie platter. A charcuterie platter. That might as well be a fourth cast member, because basically they. I think they started at. I don't remember whose house they started at. Maybe Alicia's or Joellen's. Whoever. Wherever they start, there's, like, this massive, massive charcuterie tray. And they decide they got this whole tray and they've got to drive. They're like, let's just bring it into the car. And already I was like, what are you doing? It's gonna get everywhere, you know? So Liz is in the back, and Joellen and Alicia are. Liz is in the back. Back. Liz and Joellen are in the back seats. Like, they're. And they're holding this charcuterie tray, and they're balancing it carefully, and they're going over bumps, and, like, Joellen's drink is spilling on the cheese and everything. I was just like.
E
And they're like, I guess we should pack this up, huh? Why don't we pack it up?
B
And so they're trying just balancing this thing. Things are, like, falling on the floor and everything. So that alone made this hilarious, the way they were, like, stewarding this charcuterie triangle.
D
I, like, finally, Jo Ellen put it on two of the armrests to balance it, and they're like, oh, my God, they're so smart. But why don't we think of that? That's so smart. You're so smart. Yes, that's smart. You're so smart. You're so smart.
B
So smart. So just, like, the balancing and why they did not put it in Tupperware is hilarious to me. But they're navigating with that. And then they're talking, like, Joellen and Alicia are talking about who knows what.
E
And then Liz is like, I can't see your faces. I haven't seen the back of your heads. I don't it back here.
B
So now, of course, Liz. Liz and Joellen swap in, like, from the backpack. And I was like, liz is that sort of person. She's like, she's not a. Do not put her in the backpack. Not because she's claustrophobic, but she's like, you're not Going to make me. You're not going to make me have the. The worst seat on tv. Like, I'm going to get the best seat at all times.
D
Yeah, stare at your behind the ear scars or whatever. Like, so they get in there, and then immediately they start fighting. Because Alicia is upset that Liz keeps saying that she's not homeless.
B
Well, because Liz starts off by, like, quote, unquote, apologizing.
E
Liz is like, I just want to say I shouldn't. This. I. I shouldn't have.
B
I shouldn't have questioned you, not being homeless. So it's like an apology. But then she goes. She, like, then, you know, I shouldn't question you.
F
Happy homeless. The thing is, you were never homeless. You had a home. Everybody knows you had a home. I don't know. You think homeless.
D
And then she starts. She just gets so worked up about it. It's like everything. She gets so worked up on everything. I mean, this episode, this new episode, I was finally like, oh, she's just completely blitzed out of her mind. I think it's a mix, because that
F
party at her own house where she's like, seawall, Seawall.
B
The ongoing crazy.
D
And then we had that one, and then we've had this one, and then we have the next one. This episode we're doing today where she's just completely bonkers and eyes are, like, literally crossing. There was one point where her eyes went like this. They, like, shook. They both went. They both blitzed out in opposite directions. And I was like, oh, my God, what drug is that? Because I've done all the drugs, and I love to read pupils. Like, that's one of my favorite things to do on these Bravo shows is figure out everybody's drug regimen from their pupils. And I couldn't even read hers. I was like, is she on some new shit? Because I've never seen anybody's eyes do that.
B
Well, whatever she's making in that lab must be really working.
G
She.
D
Those were not weed eyes. And Dino just went to jail for. Or he just got arrested for the cocaine distribution and stuff. But those weren't coke eyes either. So, I don't know. Is it a mixture of things? Maybe she's taking the coke and then that makes the eyes one thing, but then the. The weed makes the eyes. I don't think weed make. Weed just makes you bloodshot. I don't know. Maybe it's just a cocktail is what I'm saying.
B
Yeah, well, either way, it's funny because Liz's whole thing all season has been,
E
you Know, people say I'm scary. I'm not scared. I'm actually a kitten. But people get scared when I come into a room. And I don't know why people get scared.
B
It's because the switch flips, and we don't really know when it's gonna really, you know, flip. And then when you get mad, once it switches, you're raging mad, and you have a smile on the entire time. And that's what's scary. If she was like. If it's switched and you're like. She was like, you know. You know, ranting and raving and she's. And she looked like she was ranting and raving would be one thing, but the fact that she sits there and her eyes are bulging and she has
E
this smile on her face, like, I know, okay.
B
And it's like this joker's smile, like Batman. It's honestly terrifying. Like, I would be scared. I couldn't even believe Joellen. Joellen got right up in her face, like, which, you know, she. You know, Joelle, look, she's basically was at juvie. She was at.
D
She went to Girl Interrupted three times.
B
She was in, like, unmerited juvie.
D
She outlasted Angelina Jolie in Girl Interrupted.
B
Yeah, she's not a.
D
She went to Girl, comma, comma, comma, interrupted. She was there a long time.
B
So you have, like, Joellen, who was like. She was Girl Interrupted so long that. That was. Now the main thing that, like, going back to regular school was the interruption. But, like, she was.
D
Yeah, she was interrupted so many times. It wasn't even Girl Interrupted. It was just like, Girl kept talking. It was.
B
Girl was talking like this.
D
The girl never stopped.
B
But she was. I mean, she basically was in juvie. And then you have her with juvie, and then you have Liz, who just has, like, sort of a lot of mafia speculation around her. And I'm like, this is just not gonna end well between seasons.
D
No, it's not gonna end well. Someone's gonna get killed on this show.
B
This will be our first housewife murder. Yeah, it'll be on this show.
D
Yeah. But it won't be anyone you suspect. It won't be, like, Liz. It won't be Joellen. It'll be like Alicia, you know, or running somebody over, you know, who knows?
B
Oh, yeah, Alicia already ran someone over.
D
I know, but, you know, that might become her thing. It'll probably runs people over.
B
It'll be. What's her face? Crybaby1. Ashley.
D
Ashley.
B
Why are you guys fighting?
D
When Frank Sinatra's singing It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
C
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B
So they're having this. They're in the car, this charcuterie is spilling everywhere and they're having a fight. And this isn't a squabble. They are having a full on fight. Alicia is crying. Liz has that look on her face. Her veins are bulging up from all sides of her face. And Joelle and so Joellen is going back for. Joellen's basically saying like Alicia, Alicia.
E
What? You went through that ballad and she's like, she's like Liz, stop it. Just calm down. Let's calm down.
B
And Liz is getting dually mad because she feels like Alicia is. Is not using the word homeless correctly. And she's getting mad because Joellen is not only mediating but the night before where at that triple date, Joellen was also like yeah, she wasn't homeless. She wasn't homeless. And Liz feels like Joellen is being two faced because like how is it that you were. Yes. And ing me at dinner and now you're not even coming to my defense?
D
Well, like I'm. Yes. Anding your, you know, her poor use of the word homeless. But I'm not. Yes, anding your crazy assault. Yes.
B
Your verbal assault and not letting it go.
D
I mean, by the way, yes, I
B
think Liz was in the wrong here 100%.
D
But Liz was really mad because. Because she felt like they were both putting her in a villain position. She's mad at Alicia for crying and making herself look like a victim. And then she's mad at Jo Ellen for supporting Alicia and making her further look like a villain. But Liz, you look like a villain because you're a fucking villain. I mean it's like Cruella De Vil crying. Just drive your car, kill some puppies and make a coat. Like, no one wants to hear Cruella cry. You know, I hated that Cruella movie where, like, oh, Cruella's so nice, and it was just all a tale that she was meeting. No, Cruella was a heartless bitch. And that's why we love Cruella. Yeah, sorry. Redhead girl from la. Whatever. La La Land. But you know Cruello. Emma Stone. Okay. You're like Emma Kidney Stone in that movie. I don't need you in that. I need Cruella. I want mean puppy murdering Cruella.
B
Yeah. Oh, like, she was bad from the beginning. Yeah.
D
And Liz just pretending like, oh, they're making me a villain. No, you're making yourself a villain. Well, I like, you can't stop crying.
B
I don't know if Liz was thinking about, like, oh, I'm being. I'm. I'm being seen as a villain. I think it's more like. What. We were talking about this the other night, and we. You, like, you totally have my back on this. You totally agreed, and we were both going to basically correct her. And now. Now, like, you just don't have my back, you know? And maybe it's, I guess, sort of like, oh, now I look really shitty that I'm doing this. But, like, you're just gonna, like, act like we didn't have this conversation. It's like, yeah, because she was, like, laughing about it. Because it was ridiculous that Alicia said that she was homeless, but it wasn't like. I don't think Joellen probably felt so passionately that she had to be like, I'm going to correct you. Alicia, in this car right now, she's like, this girl's crying. She went through trauma.
D
Her dad abandoned us, took their house and all their money. I mean, I think that's. That's worth something in the victim.
B
Yeah.
D
Category on Bravo 100%.
B
So it's in the context of this
D
crazy crash for three weeks because your husband had a boat that he went fishing on. What the fuck this lady's allowed to cry about?
B
Yeah.
D
Her dad abandoning her.
B
Yeah, exactly. The ongoing. And the sea wall. So she said, ongoing.
E
Ongoing. I've had enough.
B
So it's in the context of this that they arrive at this cabaret, and
E
Alicia's like, I don't know. I can't stop crying. I can't stop crying. I love my sunglasses behind. I love my sunglasses. She's like.
B
She is bawling, everyone. It's just. It's so tense with them. So they arrive at this place called Capo, which is appropriate that they go to a place called that.
D
That's where he's performing. Capo.
B
Yeah. And Joellen is waiting for Alicia to get her sunglasses, and she's like, oh,
E
I just want my sunglasses. My eyes are sweatling a hat and my sunglasses. And she's like, okay, you know what? Just take. Take my sunglasses. And so Alicia's like, that was a rat. And pal, I feel like Liz is taking something that was so personal and out of respect for my family, she should have, like, never questioned me or, like, talked to me like that. And, like, I'm just, like, so mad at myself. Like, I can't stop crying. I can't talk.
D
And Liz is mad at them for coming out of the car late.
F
She's like, oh, you guys had a lot of time to work that out.
E
Two against one. Two against one.
D
It's like she was trying to find her sunglasses. Jo Ellen cracks me up, because Jo Ellen is that girl who's known she's gonna be on reality TV her whole life, but she's now getting her chance. And every time she gets a chance to fight, she just starts, like, shaking her head. She's like, really? We're just looking for sunglasses.
B
You know, Joel's really good at this show. I think she's really good. She really stands her ground in a way that I really appreciate, in a way that I almost wish I could be. Like, I wish I could stand my ground more. I'm very sheepish as a person, which is why I podcast, because I can, like, get it out on a microphone. But, like, I really respect how she, like, she actually kind of. She was able to. She's able to be sympathetic, but she's also able to, like, bow up if necessary, and I really appreciate that.
D
She doesn't only stand her ground. She comes at you like, Liz was
F
like, leave me alone. Walk away.
D
She's like, no, no. Why you sing that? Why are you saying it? Why are you saying it? Like six.
B
She was being so nice to Liz for a while, and then finally she's like, okay, fine, I've been nice to you. And now. Now. Okay, now you're going into timeout, you know?
D
Yeah.
B
But Liz, by the way, the other thing with Liz is not so much even. Yeah, she doesn't want to look like an asshole. But also, I think Liz is very sensitive about being ganged up on. And so for as much as she doesn't like Alicia sitting there being a victim about being homeless, she's the One who doesn't. Like, she's the one who wants to be like, oh, it's. Oh, so you guys became friends. You went back. I guess you guys made friends. And I'm gonna be the one on the outside. I'm gonna be one that you guys are gonna gang up on. It's like, Liz, like, calm down. It's not that deep.
D
Yeah, but it's also what she's kind of been doing this whole time, Right. Because they've kind of done that against the others. So it's like, it's your turn. But, yeah, to me, it just. It just seems like. And I'm not just disregarding what you just said, because I think that's definitely it, too. But I think she's just like, now you guys are making me look like I'm a fucking bitch.
B
And I don't like that. Yeah, I think that's for. I just don't think she was thinking on, like, a level as high as, like, I'm the villain. But I think that she was like, now I look like an asshole because I thought you had my back. And I was gonna bring this to her.
D
Yeah. And I've got one crying over here, and the other one consoling her like, oh, you poor thing. So Joanna's like, oh, my God. She was just trying to find her sunglasses, stop over, assuming.
F
And Liz goes, fuck off.
D
So now they go into this place, which is pretty much what you'd think. Think. I mean, it's one of those places where you walk in and you're like, how does an act like this get all of these people? I mean, Frank Sinatra can still pull them into a pasta factory or spaghetti factory. You know what I mean? Just because his name is Frank Sinatra. It's not even Frank Sinatra. You just use his name, and people are like, oh, my God.
B
Well, what was so surprising to me
D
was that they didn't even imitate Frank Sinatra.
B
I was just surprised that there was a curtain at one point. Like, you know, Rich is like, okay, everyone, I'll be right back. And a curtain dropped. I was like, what? This place has a girl.
D
There was a curtain. There was a whole band there. I mean, it's actually like a kind of classy operation. Unfortunately, he's not great. I have to say, I was expecting more from him. Weren't you? Me, Frank Sinatra. You get yourself a band. You're performing all over. You gotta sing better than this.
B
Like, I. I just thought he was gonna sound more Sinatra. Ish. But I think he's just singing Sinatra songs. I think that's. I think that's what I was surprised at. I thought he'd be more of an impersonator, and he was just singing the songs.
D
Well, look, if you're not gonna impersonate Frank and you're just gonna sing the songs, then you have to sing better.
B
Mm, yeah.
D
Than this, anyway. Not than Frank.
B
But by the way, don't forget to stream our cabaret later this week, where you're gonna hear us singing. Well, actually, Ronnie sings great.
D
You'll hear how dodgy we should be over people.
B
Ron. Ronnie sings great.
D
No, I will.
B
On the other end.
D
You'll see me. You sound great. You sound great in here.
B
Yeah. Okay. Just wait for my kick line.
D
That's not singing. That's. Yeah, you practiced all night.
B
What's the reverse of the total package? What's the reverse of a triple threat?
D
A threat?
B
Just a. Just a threat. No, a triple.
E
A triple.
B
Like, peace time. That's why I am so.
D
You're ridiculous.
B
Anyway, so then they. They get in there, and I like Alicia going, so is this, like, the
E
stage over here with the red thing is.
B
I'm like, you mean the stage with the curtain? No, that's the kitchen.
D
I love her. That's why I love her. She's like, what is that, a stage? Yeah, it's elevated. It's made out of wood.
B
And there's a red curtain.
D
There's a band on it, and there's a red curtain.
B
She goes. The red thing. There's a red curtain.
D
It's a red thing. We should get that at Papa Pizza Mama. So she's. She's like, oh, that was the ride from hell. Oh, my God. So I'm sorry. I got lost here. So we're doing it like this on my iPad and looking at you and then having to find myself in the notes. Sorry, everybody.
B
Find yourself in the notes. That actually sounds very poetic.
D
Everybody sits down, and it's really awkward. Cause Liz is still pissed and Alicia's still crying, which is making her even more pissed. And Joelle's like, oh, my God, this is so uncomfortable. Like, I wish I could just, like, slide under the table right now. Cause that's another thing we didn't say that happened last night. Oh, yeah. That was a big part of this.
B
Oh, my God. We didn't even talk about the thing at Audrey.
D
The. The scene last week was great.
B
Cause what's her buns, Kelsey?
D
No, the crybaby Ashley was finally like, okay, I'm gonna throw an event for these ladies. I'M gonna have a trivia night at Audrey's. So she has this trivia night, and Rosie's like, well, I'm not gonna go if Kelsey goes. But her little elf husband is like, just invite everybody. Stop being stupid. So she does. And so they both show up, and Kelsey comes in wearing a sash, like a beauty queen sash that says slam pig.
B
I'm like, she's beauty, she's grace, She's
E
Miss Slam Pig United States.
D
Yeah. Why are you wearing a slam pig sash? To show everybody that you're not a slam pig.
B
You know, she's trying to own it.
D
Just crackers. Labeling themselves as crackers to prove they're what? Not crackers.
B
Well, now she's gonna probably, like, come out with T shirts to say slam pig and everything. She can do, like, what Luann did with Giovanni, which is that Dorinda is the one who said it, but Luann's the one who's actually capitalized off of it. Yeah, yeah. But so they. So then that was Kelsey and Rosie coming face to face for the first time, and it's very tense.
D
I'm stuck on the slam pig thing. It can't be the first time this woman's been called a slam pig. I mean, no offense, not by me, but, like, in general around there. I mean, yeah.
B
Kelsey does that thing in that. In that moment where she goes up to Rosie, goes, hi, Rosie.
E
How are you?
B
And Rosie's like, you know, I really don't want to talk to you. She's like, well, I don't want to talk to you either. I'm like, kelsey, you just walked over to talk to her. So what happened was that they wound up getting into a big fight altercation, and the group was trying to heal them, and it did not work. So then they wind up actually just hiding under the high tops, and they're all crowded under the high tops. So the two of them are still actually fighting.
D
They're screaming and yelling at each other and calling each other bitch and all this. And then it would keep cutting to the kids at trivia night. They're like, I know.
B
And Ashley was like, I just don't want any fighting at Audrey's.
D
Oh, God. Her husband's like, just shut up. Like, you guys are so ridiculous.
B
I have some. I have some thoughts about Audrey's that I'm excited to share later on in the episode because I've decided I have a hot take on Audrey's.
D
Oh, okay.
B
That I've now officially overhyped.
D
Can't wait. So, yeah, they had this big fight at Audrey's. Kelsey. Kelsey.
F
Kelsey.
B
So anyways, we're at the table, and so it's awkward. And, you know, Alicia's, like, hiding behind the menu because she doesn't want to show everyone that she's crying and everything. And.
E
And Eliza's like, my friend was never homeless in the general sense of the term that we. We want. We think about it. You know, you have to have a big. You know, she has a big, beautiful family. Like, no one's ever going to allow you to be homeless. And also, I don't want you to go through that life being with that marriage.
B
So Joel's like, okay, so you guys. You guys want to get a drink? Guys want to get drinks? They're like, yeah, we got a drink. This, like, small talk.
D
John's like, well, I'm really worried about you guys. This is really awkward. Like, worried.
F
You worried? Are you worried about us?
E
Oh, you're worried? That's nice that you're worried, aren't you?
D
Nice.
B
So, Joelle, it's like, stop, stop. Joel's, like, talking to Liz. Like, she's like her daughter. She's like, stop it.
E
Stop, stop.
B
We're at a restaurant.
F
It's like, are you worried?
E
It's like, liz, relax, relax.
B
And then Alicia's just crying.
E
There's. I don't know why I'm crying. It just seems so fake. Ah, you know what? This just. Joellen just seems so fake and phony and disingenuous. She said Alicia was never homeless herself.
B
And we see at that dinner when Joellen's like, yeah, I mean, you're not sleeping under the stars in a sleeping bag and homeless, you know?
D
So Liz is saying, you know, Joe Allen.
F
There's been so many instances with Joe Allen where she said one thing and did another, and I'm really angry with her. I need to shift my emotions just for some respect my space at the other end of the table.
D
So Jo Ellen is still comforting, or no, she puts her hand on Liz's hand, and Liz is like, get your
F
fucking hands off of me.
D
I'm just trying to be there for you. That's what friends do. Can I just be there for you?
B
And this entire time, Liz keeps on with a big smile, keeps saying, I'm fine.
E
Everything's fine, Everything's fine. Don't get your hands off me.
B
Like, the moment, like, she touches her, it's like, no, she's absolutely not fine. I mean, not that it was like, not that we were fooled in any way.
D
So the other girls start coming in and Ashley's like, hi, friends. Is everybody doing okay? Oh my God, here's Ashley. It's like the over happiness right in the middle of all of this.
B
Yeah.
D
So she sits down and Joanne's like, don't worry, Alicia's not crying. She just has allergies. She just has that, right, Alicia?
E
Yeah. Cracker. Right now I need a cracker.
B
So Ash is like, is everything okay? Like, what's going on? There's like, the tension's like really palpable. Like, tell me what's that? What? Summer always changes how I'd get dressed. I want pieces that feel lighter and more breathable. Things that are easy but still pull together.
D
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B
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D
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B
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D
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B
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H
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D
Palpable. Palpable was that. Palpable was that.
B
It means that there's Palpatine, I guess what's about. It's like, it's the thing you feel. And so if it's palpable, you can feel it.
D
Never heard of that. No. Never heard of that. It's too big of a word at this table, ma'. Am. Just like, what is going on? I'm known Monique for like, oh, I brought my friend Monique, everybody. And Monique comes in and looks just like one of them.
B
Yeah. I was like, oh, here's that other cast member.
D
Yeah.
E
So Alicia's like, I've known monique for, like, 20 years. And, like, we used to work at a hair salon together. And Monique is married to Patrick Pass, a former Patriots. Patriots player. And Rosie's also, like, best friends with Monique. So, like, that's how we know him. Her.
B
So I feel like at this point, this is the point of the season where they said, you know what? We're going to make Rula a real housewife. So we're going to need a new friend of. So let's bring in Monique.
D
Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I've heard that thing about Rula, too, if she was a friend of. But she has been named in all the events because they're always like, where's Rula? Why isn't Rula here? Rules to come. We should call Rula. So I wonder. But I noticed when. Because they're just doing. They just did their reunion, I guess. And so the reunion seating chart was posted and. Well, you mentioned that already. I'm so sorry, I'm out of it. But they posted that. And you really see how small the cast is. It looks so tiny. There's only five or six of them, right? Is it.
E
Is it only five or six? I thought there was like seven.
D
It looks so tiny. Maybe it shows the last reunion we did with Summer house. And it like.
B
Yeah, that's the thing. Summer house reno is so massive. But you have Alicia, Joellen, Rosie, Kelsey, Liz.
D
It's over.
B
No more Rula. No, no, you got the. You got the three youngins, which is Ashley, Kelsey, Rosie. Then you got Joellen, you got Liz, Alicia, and you got Rula. That's seven people. Oh, that's a standard size. In fact, there's one. One of the Real Housewives right now has eight people. That might be Atlanta has eight people. I think that one's a really big cast. Actually, it's the only other housewife that's on, so that's definitely the one.
D
Yeah. Okay, so we meet this new chick. So then the show's getting ready to start, and Alicia says that if Monique was in the car. Right. Monique would have fucking tore a new asshole. She's still crying, by the way. So welcome, everybody. It's Sinatra Sunday. And then Rich comes in, but he comes in holding hands with Rosie.
B
Yeah.
D
And they walk down the aisle together like the President and the first Lady.
B
Yeah.
D
Really, Rosie? I mean, I think that's really sweet to be proud of your man, but sit down.
B
Like, it's a lot. And so he's like, oh, when the saints go marching in. When the saints go marching in. And Rosie's like, oh, you know what? In this situation, Rich is the star, and I'm totally cool taking the backseat. You know, when you host a local lifestyle show for Rhode island on Saturday afternoons, it's hard when you to get away from the spotlight. So it's nice to take that break from celebrity and let Rich be the star for once.
D
So Ashley's like, oh, my God, you guys should do a duet. Cause he's so talented, and you do whatever it is you do. That would be so fun. She's like, oh, yeah, I could never. I'd rather die. So Rich is on the stage doing crowd work. He's like, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Sinatra Sunday. I'm Rich Demer. I'm gonna live in an 8,000 square foot home. Don't argue with it. It's the run poster trio. Please eat up, drink up. We'll see you on the other side of the break.
B
All right, two and two and curtain drops. I'm like, wait, there's a curtain here. So then they all applaud.
E
Alicia's like, no, I'm actually having fun. I have fun.
B
And Joel's like, no, he's such an entertainer. Like, oh, yeah, he's great theatrical.
E
It's like, so Liz is Like, I got a cigarette. If you guys want to talk about what happened, that's fine. You guys talk about. Make me the boogeyman. That's fine.
B
So Joellen's like, no, I'm going to come with you. So it's kind of. At this point, I'm like, joellen, just stop. Just let her cool off. Because, like, I. I'm largely on Joellen's side with this. But, like, Liz is clearly someone when she's going off the handle. You just gotta just let that. Let that sparkler burn all the way down.
D
Because, yeah, Joellen is just coming at her and at her, shaking that head in her and, like, getting up in her constantly.
B
And Joel. And has a whole hit. Yeah. And Joellen has this whole thing about how Liz is her best friend. And, like, she's shocked that Liz doesn't think. It's like, if you were. If she was your best friend, you would know how to handle her in these moments. And, yeah, like, don't go after her. You're gonna make it worse. Just stay where you are. Let her have her tantrum. You enjoy yourself.
D
Yeah. And Alicia's saying, liz, I do love you. I don't want to fight with you. I really love you. I really love you. And so she goes outside all mad. Liz. So Alicia says, I don't wanna make you upset, Liz. And Liz's like, you lied.
F
I'm sorry. I can't for making you upset.
D
That crazy smile. So all the other girls are like, what the hell is going on now? She's like, they had a fight. They had a fight on the way here, you guys.
F
And once again, I'm the fucking monster. All right?
D
It's like you are eating a baby arm right now. Put the baby arm down.
B
You are about to go gas all of Gotham City right now with that joker face, that sm.
E
So Alicia's like, I feel like I'm trapped in a nutman. She wants me to be, like, the Wicked Witch, but, like, honey, I'm just sitting here like, you're doing yourself. You're just being mean right now. All I want is a cracker.
D
So, you know, Liz, I have to say, a lot of looking at Liz, I think maybe it's the facework that makes her look so, like, evil because she's, you know, had some facework, but she posted on Instagram her facework, you know, because they all get the discount for posting the doctor.
B
Yeah.
D
God, I long for those days. I'm gonna get fucking everything done. But she. She posted it and it's good. It's good facework. Can I say the before picture, she's just as terrifying. She's very pretty. It's in the eyes. I think it's in the eyes and the smile and.
B
Yeah, it's a big smile. And again, she smiles when she's angry, which is a terrifying thing. That's what villains do. That's like, when there's tension, like, there's a. Literally, a movie called Smile, it's about it. Okay. Like, I mean, I haven't seen it, but I just have to assume it's about someone.
D
That movie infuriates me. I mean, I've said it before, but God forbid we smile at somebody. It's like the greatest horror of the, you know, mid-2020s.
B
Oh, I thought the movie was about, like, riding in cars up I95 to Boston with a charcuterie in the backseat. And it's like, you just have to smile through it.
D
Okay, so Liz and Alicia, do they go outside or what? Yeah, they keep threatening to go outside, but they don't do it. So Joellen's like, listen, everything's done. Alicia. Okay, that was done in the car. You guys talked it out.
F
She's like, but I just wanna apologize again.
D
She's like, no, Liz apologized 46 times already. And she's like.
F
And Liz is like, I get it. I mean, to be honest with you, I'm not lying.
D
Neither one.
F
I never forget it. Sorry. Okay, you do what you gotta do. This is just not how I respond. I'm gonna go have a cigarette now. You guys just continue making me the villains.
B
And so she. They go up and leave, and Monique is like, what happened?
E
And Alicia's like, she's not llama.
B
So Liz and Joellen are outside in this, like, back alley, and. Which, of course, like, it's a. It's like a somehow a very quaint back alley. Joellen's like, so, what, you didn't get
E
me a cigarette too? Liz like, oh, did you want one?
B
She's like, no, I'll just share. Which I was like, I don't think she wants to share with you.
D
She doesn't want your trader spit on her cigarette.
E
I know how much you love Alicia, and, like, dude, you are like a. You're like a loving, amazing person. You know her your whole life. Just. Yeah, I'm. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And I. And I got. I got you going like, oh, can you just understand what she meant? Like, I do. I did, like, all I ever did was. I said sorry. I'm like, no, I don't do it again.
B
Like, I'm like, oh, God, she's losing her mind.
D
It's like, honey, her dad fell. You know, her dad felt. Her dad left her. She's fucked up shit that happened. We all have. We all have. You have. I have.
F
You know what?
E
Got it.
F
I agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. Joe Allen. I agree. However, Dolly said I was sorry. I said I was sorry 12 times. Dolly. All right, Dolly. And Dolly in there was never homeless. All right, Dolly. All right, Dolly.
D
So she starts coming up with Dolly now. And just.
B
Dolly, just like.
E
She's like, you were the first one.
B
And she's like. And so were you.
E
She was like, do you. Oh, do you want to do it?
B
She's like, stop.
E
Why? It's like, I will. I'll so do it.
B
She's like, what?
E
Why are you going at me? She's like, she was never homeless. She's like, what did I do? It's like, get the fuck out of my face. Get the fuck out of my face.
B
Not Joellen. Joellen is now. Liz has now transformed into Joellen's mom. So now Joellen is in a, like, fuck you, mom mode. So she's like, what did I do? What did I do? Why'd you send me away?
E
Huh?
B
Why? Why, Liz?
D
Well, I'm sorry. I got boobs, and I've dated boys. What do you want from me?
E
What are you talking about?
D
And they get right in each other's face. What are you doing? What are you. Joelle is just shaking her face. Shaking at her, like, coming at her from this way, coming at her from that way. I'm surprised Liz didn't just smack the shit out of her.
B
I was shocked that didn't get physical.
D
Cause while Liz is being an asshole in all of this. I mean, I hate to say it, because I know I'll get a lot of pushback from this, but I was. I mean, I kind of get. Once Liz kind of explained where she was coming from, I kind of get it. Like, I kind of at least saw where she was coming from. I don't necessarily agree with her, but it's like, Joellen, get out of my. Joellen needed to get away, remove themselves from the situation, and then other people follow them. I hate that. I feel like that's out of bounds for a reality show.
B
Yeah. And I feel like. I feel like Joellen. Her response in the car was the correct one. I think that Liz was being overly sensitive about this But Joellen needed to just drop it at this point. Now I'm like, joellen, don't like. You're at. You're looking for answers that you don't want to hear. So Joanne's like, knock it off.
E
Stop being cut fitness to me.
B
This is.
E
This is not a you and me fight. It's a you and Alicia.
B
And I'm trying to be here for
E
both of you, and you're both being na. You're gonna both be nasty to me, huh? Joanne's like, why.
B
Why you doing this?
E
Why you have to be so combative? Okay, I'm trying to be there for you, and you act like a fucking asshole to me. And I'm the. I'm one of your best friends, you disingenuous motherfucker.
F
Why?
E
Why, Liz? Why? Don't walk away.
B
Say it.
E
Say it, Liz.
D
And they're in each other's face, and Joellen's saying she doesn't want to fight her head to head, but she's putting her in this situation. She's like, you're looking for a fight. You're looking for a fight, trying to fight me.
F
She's like, I don't attack anyone. I bring up no one's shit. You want to fuck with me? I'm ready. I'm down. I'm ready. Bring it on, Dolly. Come on, Dolly.
B
But there is something funny, because Liz is mad that she feels like Joellen is very fake, but, like, Liz is the one who is actively putting on a fake smile and not actually saying what she's mad about, so.
D
Well, she's saying what she's mad about.
B
No, she's not. She's not. She didn't say, listen, the other night, you're with me on this, and you co signed, and now you're in here and you're taking her side and you're not even, like, admitting that you also feel the same way. And you're making your. You left me out here to, like, hang out here dry. She's not telling her. That's why I'm mad at you. You know, later on, she says you try to mediate. She just said she's being kind of. She's being very. She's vague posting right now.
D
Vague posting?
B
Yeah.
F
I've never had such a depressing day. Please don't ask me what's wrong to anybody. I haven't been answering my phone.
D
I'm sorry.
F
It's that kind of week.
E
Well, that just happened.
B
So Joellen's check, please.
E
Joanna's like, you're looking for a fight and you're trying to fight me. She's like, I don't want attack anyone. I bring up no one's shit. You want to fuck with me? I'm ready. I'm down.
D
So meanwhile, Rich is in there like wise men say, could someone speed up this record player? What is this even? What is this even?
E
And Alicia's like, oh, my God, this is my song. Oh, my God, I love this song. I love this song so much. How's happening?
B
She, like, gets up, like, the words.
D
She's like, no.
F
Other fools fall downs and. Yeah, you know, I was a stage also.
B
Isn't that Elvis?
D
Yeah.
B
Not Frank Sinatra.
D
Well, Frank sang it too. It's a cover. You know, back in the day, they used to all sing covers.
B
Was it Frank's originally?
D
I don't think so. Who did sing that originally?
B
I thought it was Elvis, but probably. If it was Elvis, he probably appropriated it from someone else. Yeah. So Rich is singing this, and Joanne's
E
like, listen, listen, Liz, you're supposed to be one of my best friends, and you're gonna sit here and, like, talk shit to me, like. And be nasty. It's, like, hurtful and it's mean. And all you do is be mean
D
to everyone who originally sang. I can't help falling in love with
B
with you Like a. Like a river flows Shirley to the sea.
D
He recorded it in 1961. Sorry, Elvis, but real ones know it's
B
the UB40 version that really slaps UB40.
D
How does that go?
B
It was on the Sliver soundtrack.
D
God, you're really. Or have you been jerking off to Sliver lately?
B
I've actually never seen Sliver.
D
You've never seen Sliver? I've just seen keep coming up.
B
I feel like I've seen all that I need to see of it, which is that there's someone watching and Sharon Stone's in it, and Enygma was on the soundtrack.
D
Wow. Can't help falling.
B
You know, the UB41, it's like, W
E
me say because, you know, they sing
B
in that weird way Only Fools Fresh. And it has, like, a lot of weird sound where it's, like, in the background a lot.
E
It's like.
B
It doesn't sound anything like reggae either.
D
You know, we can only play like, a second us. Oh, well, there's an ad. Does that mean that we can. Shut up. I said go to YouTube. Why are you playing it here?
E
Hold on.
D
What are you playing a minute, a second of this song? I want to hear how it sounds. We can't play too much because it's copyrighted. And they'll be like, you can't put ads on this episode.
B
Yeah, you actually can't even play a second. I hate to break it to you.
D
Really.
B
It's a myth that you can do, like, three. All right, well, we're not monitoring.
D
Oh, yeah, I remember this. See, that's all I needed to hear.
B
That's too late.
D
Yeah. No, it's not.
B
It's too late.
D
Are we gonna get kicked out of ACAST already?
B
Yeah. I can't believe of all the places that you do a copyright infringement, it would be right in the heart of acast.
D
Oh, yeah.
F
Come for me. You want a piece of me?
B
Acast?
F
I'll fuck you up. You're supposed to be my best friend.
E
You're supposed to be my best friend. And you're, like, ruining the monetization on the YouTube video. I could do that.
B
So Joellen's like, why are you being
E
such a nasty human?
F
She's like, I'm a nasty human.
E
Good job. You did it. You did it.
B
And so then Liz. Well, it's kind of funny because our note taker says Liz caresses Joellen's hair. Later on, this becomes a point of contention. Was it a caress? I don't know if it was a caress. I think it was more than a caress, less than a tug.
D
Well, remember Real Housewives of Potomac was a flip. She did the flip. Like, we watched that video, like the Zapruder film. I know she did a flip. This one. She, like, went like this on her. She went like that. But she didn't pull it.
B
It wasn't a pull, but it was also. But fingers were closed around.
D
Don't be touched, people.
B
Don't touch the hair. Don't touch the hair.
D
That's crazy, because.
B
Yeah, yeah. Especially in this. Especially when five minutes ago, you're like, don't touch me.
E
Don't you dare touch me.
D
And especially in Rhode island, because, you know, that's the thing in Rhode Island. Touching people and touching their hair. You just know what happens.
B
Touching you, touching me.
D
You 40.
B
This is going sweet. Sweet Jo Ellen. Okay, so she's like. Joanne goes, oh, you know what?
E
Pull my hair again, Liz. I'm literally. I'll literally fucking punch you in the face.
B
I was like, here comes juvie so far. Juvie versus Mafia.
F
You want to know I'm a horrible person? You want to know I'm a nasty human to you.
E
You're my best friend. You're My best friend. The more I say it, the more true it is.
F
Oh, you are not my best friend. You are not. Knock at the friend.
E
Oh, she goes, knock it the fuck off.
B
She basically is like, you are a child who is misbehaving in Applebee's.
E
Knock it the fuck off.
D
But now we didn't mention. Now they're back.
B
Oh, yeah, they're back.
D
They come back to the table. Rich is singing this terrible. L. I mean, he just sounds terrible singing this song. And there's. They're fighting in front row. In the front row, face to face.
B
There's like a centimeter between them. And last episode, Rosie's whole thing was like, they just better not have a fight in front of Rich. I was like, okay, they're not gonna fight. While Rich is singing and Rich is singing, and they are face to face. And that's when Joelle's like, knock it the fuck off.
D
So they're yelling at each other, and Rich is kind of looking around. Everyone's mortified. But this again, Jo Ellen. Liz tried to walk away, and Joe Ellen just follows her in there, like, what's your problem?
F
What's your problem, Liz? What's your problem?
B
But at this point, though, I think
D
I'm kind of team Liz at this
B
point, I'm team Liz in terms of frustration. But I think this was inappropriate, which is that then Liz takes Joanne's Cher and shit, shoves it forward. I was like that. To me, the chair is part of the body that's undeniable right there.
D
Well, with me, it literally is. Like, it's melded to my body.
B
I think that, like, that's. If you shove someone in the chair, that's like, you're. You are causing them to. To move. That is physical. That is. That is physical.
D
God. See the subway.
B
No. Meaning that, like, if. So if you're doing this whole thing, like, don't touch me. Don't whatever. Like, if you. If you're pushing someone's chair, like, that's. That could start a fight right there.
D
I would say, but if someone's in your face, it's better to just get them out of your. I think. I don't think someone.
B
But Mom's allowed. But Mom's allowed to get in your face and say, shut. Knock it off. Otherwise, I'm turning this cabaret around and we're going home. Please do.
D
Oh, my God, please turn this cabaret. Or at least turn it down. Just turn it down.
B
So Joellen.
E
Joellen.
D
It's like Elvis is just, like, flicking himself in the forehead. Please just fucking make it. Stive's tapping. It's like, oh, God.
E
So then Alicia's like, joelle, don't react. Don't react to Joelle. Don't react. Joellen, don't react.
B
Don't react. It's almost like some sort of, like, hazing, where it's like, how much abuse
D
can you take before you can take this?
B
So finally, and Liz is like. Liz is up in Joellen's ear, sort of like the alien to Sigourney Weaver in the trailer for Aliens 3. And she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, you like that?
E
You like that at least. She's like, don't react. Liz, you better stop right now. You better stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop right now. You gotta stop.
B
Wise man say, oh, divorce. So Jo Ellen just is like. She gets up and she just leaves. Which I was like, that took a lot of that was. I feel like a millimeter away from being physical. And by the way, amusing that security did not jump in because on Atlanta, Kelly just raised her glass up and like, three people were there on Portia. But here they're like, yeah, you know, let's see.
D
It's a good. They don't have security.
B
They need to have a good trailer.
D
Yeah, they don't have the budget for security yet. Portia's been kicked off, what, two times, I think, for kicking somebody's ass on Atlanta. So she's earned it. She's earned the budget. Yeah. So Rosie's like, just happy it's not me. So Jo Ellen gets in the car and leaves, and meanwhile, Rich is still like, yay, falling in love with you. And it goes to Rosie and she's like, wow, isn't Rich amazing at singing?
B
Yes.
D
Is all the yelling hurting your all's eardrums? That sucked. How would you fuck a man after that?
B
Yeah, I don't know.
D
Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.
B
Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thank like Allison King.
D
Our way is the Amber way.
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It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly. Clap.
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Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offit. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call it's Diane call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gautier.
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Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no tricholas. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less
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namey Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.
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She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.
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Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kissarino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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This is Living with Michelle Vivian.
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I love Aya Olivia Williamson.
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She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
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Yes, we can. It's Savannah.
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Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
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Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10
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cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the
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gold with Brenda Silva.
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Let's get real with Caitlin o' Neal.
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Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogel. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.
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Have a kebab with K. Rob.
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My favorite myrtle. Karen McMurdo let's get savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.
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The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sharrous. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.
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She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
D
We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.
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Tell of son Shannon out of a can and Anthony. Please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing Strike a pose.
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It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Cootard we love you guys.
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Watch What Crappens — Episode #3389: “RHORI S1E10 Part One: Homeless Not Truthless”
Released: June 1, 2026 | Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam are back in New York City, recording from the ACAST offices, fresh off their own cabaret show. In this episode, they dive into The Real Housewives of Rhode Island (RHORI) Season 1, Episode 10, remixing last week’s missed recap with this week's drama, most notably the messy semantics over “homelessness,” the group’s disastrous road trip to a Frank Sinatra tribute, and an escalating feud between Liz and Joellen—set amidst spilled charcuterie and off-the-rails group dynamics. The episode is part one of a two-part recap, focusing on the interpersonal chaos and Bravo-style theatrics that define the series.
Kelsey’s Garbage-Foot Scandal
Kelsey’s Relationship & Entitled Attitude
Alicia’s “Homeless” Backstory
Car Fight Escalation
The Core Feud
Quote Highlights
Physical Escalation
Comic Relief
Ben and Ronnie mix loving mockery (“we mock because we love!”) with sharp Bravo insight, amplified by their signature blend of recaps, over-the-top analogies, and references to classic reality show moments. The hosts’ tone is irreverent, hyperbolic, and affectionate for the genre’s absurdity.
Key Takeaway:
This RHORI episode exemplifies why the Bravo formula endures: semantic squabbles and social hierarchies combusting into real, emotionally fraught drama. The ongoing “homeless, not truthless” fight is both very “Bravo” and surprisingly deep, exploring class, trauma, and performative sympathy—fueled by unreliable narrators, showbiz delusions, and plenty of spilled cheese.
For Part Two of this recap, look for the next episode in your feed.