Loading summary
Ad Host 1
A better help ad. Hold on one second. I just need to. What if you had a room where no one interrupts, no notifications, no expectations, just space to talk with BetterHelp Therapy happens in a space that's yours. Visit betterhelp.com randompodcast for 10% off your first month of online therapy.
Ad Host 2
Running a business means juggling a lot of moving parts. And when your communication tools can't keep up, things start to slip. Missed calls, slow replies, scattered conversations. They're not just frustrating, they're lost opportunities and revenue left on the table. That's where Quo comes in. Spelled Q, U, O. Quo is the 1 rated business phone system on G2, trusted by over 90,000 businesses. One shared business number for calls and texts. So every conversation stays visible, organized and accountable. It works from an app or computer. You can keep your existing number, add teammates and sync your CRM, letting you scale without adding complexity. And with built in AI, Quo logs, calls, summarizes conversations and flags next steps. Even after hours. Stop missing customers. Stop leaving revenue on the table. Try quo free and get 20% off your first six months@quo.com tech. That's quo.com tech
Michelle
quo.
Ad Host 2
No missed calls, no missed customers.
Michelle
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
Ben
Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one.
Aaliyah
Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.
Ben
Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one.
Ashley
Bye.
Ben
Enjoy the show.
Michelle
So now we go to the Ocean State School of Gymnastics because Narula and her daughter Lila. Layla, we're gonna practice gymnastics. Okay, well, okay, why don't we do some straddle jumps? Okay, I'm gonna do a jump. Okay. I wish I could do a back tuck, but I'm not gon risk it. And so she does a front talk into the.
Ben
Into the phone pit.
Aaliyah
She's like, wow, this is amazing. I wish I could retire and do this every day.
Michelle
Brian's like, oh, so you would like to stay out of the house and be at a specific location every day for a certain number of hours.
Joellen
Great.
Michelle
I support it.
Ben
This is the first time you've been around things that match your energy on this show. Just the blocks of foam in that fucking pit.
Michelle
I know, right? So we go to Rosie's house and she's like, rich, I'm gonna put on some eye masks. Which one should I do?
Alicia
Clouds or bows.
Michelle
She's like, I really, really don't give a fuck.
Ben
How about something that wasn't made for 5 year olds with eye bags? I know.
Michelle
And then we wind up in Cranston at Twin Oaks Restaurant. And Alicia's there.
Ben
And I wonder if those oaks resent each other.
Michelle
Deep down, oaks are like, we look nothing alike. And I'm like the younger oak. So Alicia is. She's there.
Joellen
She's like, there's something about Twin Oaks with my family that's like nostalgic, you know? Cause like, you know, it's nice. It's a restaurant.
Michelle
And they're like, hey, Susan in?
Alicia
What's up?
Michelle
They come in because their daughter Selena won a trophy for dancing.
Ben
Yeah, she won like the state.
Aaliyah
The state championship. It's a big deal. And we're here, we're here all getting together. Like we're going to celebrate because she, she won a national title. Like, you know, like. Wait, what does she win? Wait, hold on. Let me think about it. It's a title. It's a championship. Hold on, what's it called? Just name for it.
Ben
Ms.
Ashley
Title.
Aaliyah
This title. It's a big deal.
Michelle
Yeah. And so all the ants. The. Mom, the ants are there. The ants have multiplied. Something has happened. We've now gone up from four or five ants to 10 of them. There's just more and more ants every single time. And honestly, I can't get enough. The more ants the better. Like, I love the ants.
Ben
It's like watching DNA split under a microscope. Keep popping up. And each one is more than the last one.
Ashley
How you doing, honey? You did something in Miss Title. We're so proud of you. Yeah. So proud of you. You did. Mr. Who are you?
Aaliyah
I just popped up.
Ben
Just split off this one. Just split off under your anti. Arm.
Joellen
Yeah, yeah, that's, that's. That's Sharon over there. And that's Sharon number two.
Michelle
Yeah, I. I love. Each one has been more wronged by a man than the next one. And they're just bitter and jaded. But like, what you going to do? You get to this age, you just live with it.
Ben
Yeah.
Ashley
Well, you got a crown in there, honey. What is that a crown?
Aaliyah
It's like. Yeah, yeah, it's like Miss America, but for like, you know, the dance world. It's like huge. Ma, it's Twin Oaks.
Ben
She tells us about Twin Oaks and
Aaliyah
she's like, it's such a staple of Rhode Island. There's just something about it, you know, it's like out of a movie. You Know, but the rumors are like, that the mob used to hang out at the bar there a lot. Like, crooked cops, crooked lawyers, you know, it's like, basically, it's like dating. It's where you go to date.
Michelle
Is there a place in Rhode island where the mob did not hang out? It's a pretty small state, and there's, like, a very high ratio of mob to land mass in Rhode Island. So I think they pretty much hung out, like, at all the restaurants.
Ben
There's also such a pride in this town of just being a shitty person, you know?
Aaliyah
It's like, wow, we love this restaurant. It's where all the crooked cops came.
Ben
That's why I bring my daughter, who just won a national title.
Joellen
If you need to bribe someone to get out of the pocket ticket, you come here, get them some garlic bread.
Michelle
You're set.
Joellen
You're good to go.
Michelle
So now Alicia's cousin Brianna Nicole is there. Brianna Nicole. I feel like Brianna Nicole is always in a state of having to pick up the laundry from the floor.
Joellen
Brianna Nicole, can you pick up the laundry on the floor? Why are you leaving so bad?
Ben
They just use both names at all times.
Ashley
It's like, what has been going on? I've not seen you. This summer's been so crazy.
Aaliyah
She's like, oh, my God, there's so much going on.
Ben
You don't even know. Like, selena, pay attention. You know what?
Aaliyah
Selena, move to the other end of the table.
Ben
I don't want you listening to this.
Aaliyah
You're a stalker.
Ben
And the daughter's like, nah, just go to the other side. That was me around my mom's friends. They're like, please go over there. So I'd go to school the next day and be like, did you hear
Aaliyah
what that bitch Jackie did to Hilda? It was ugly.
Michelle
Hilda.
Ben
Oh, God. Mom's friends.
Michelle
Ms. Title. Get out of here.
Joellen
So Alicia's like, everyone come closer so my stalker daughter doesn't listen. Okay, Aunt Judy. Okay. And Aunt Judy number three, get over here. Okay. I've been hanging out with these girls, and we all went to the castle, and we all wore a mask, and everyone would share their emotions. And, you know, I couldn't even have a Triscuit. It was so. It was so intense. And I talked about my dad and things I remember. Do you know, remember? And I was like. One of the things I remember is that, like, basically my father, he left me for homeless. And then Liz went. He's like, you know, homeless. And then she went. She was. We were in the car to Boston and all of a sudden, I don't know, something just like snapped, you know,
Michelle
and her mom's like, oh, yeah, we were homeless. We were homeless.
Ben
Yeah, we were homeless. What's this girl talking about? Yeah, how could she do that?
Joellen
They were homeless.
Ashley
I remember. They were homeless.
Joellen
They were homeless.
Ashley
That's not a friend right there.
Ben
Yeah, that doesn't sound like a friend right there.
Joellen
Marissa, you remember them being homeless? Yeah, they were homeless.
Ashley
I remember. Yeah. Yeah, they're homeless.
Michelle
Yeah, very homeless.
Ben
Homeless.
Joellen
They were more homeless.
Michelle
You can imagine.
Ashley
Homeless with a bed.
Ben
Don't you fuck with me, all right? Homeless. Onto the bed. What kind of friend are you?
Joellen
Don't break out my sports.
Ashley
Homeless. Homeless with a bed. You had cabinets.
Ben
What are you bringing up the cabinets right now for? We were homeless with cabinets in the bed.
Joellen
I still miss my Corvette bed.
Michelle
Didn't Alicia have like a convertible bed? Yeah, a little race car bed. So Alicia's like, I've known this since
Joellen
I was born and, like, she should know better. But, you know, she's abusive. So I just. It feels good to say that. Sorry.
Michelle
I'm like, oh, that's coming back at the reunion, big time. That's. If you say that someone's abusive, it's both. And your best friend, that. That and Liz, that this is going to be an issue. Right?
Ben
Liz is going to get so mad. She's going to abuse her ass at the reason why.
Michelle
She'd be like, let me show you how non abusive I am by tearing her apart right now. Yeah, exactly.
Ben
So Alicia's saying she embarrassed me. She's focused on trying to destroy me. And, you know, and the mom's like,
Aaliyah
you know, she's gotta, you know what if she wants to walk in the room right now? You want. She's what, she gonna pretend she's your friend?
Ashley
Is she gonna pretend she's your friend?
Joellen
I don't know. Cause I'm not talking. I haven't. I haven't answered her phone or call her back. And I think that she's just like, a little bit jealous. You know what?
Michelle
Like.
Joellen
Cause you know what? You know why? Cause, like, you have a perfect life. That's why.
Michelle
Or actually, I'm sorry, The mom's her mom.
Ben
Yeah. And she's like, no, I don't have a perfect.
Aaliyah
It's far from perfect. It's far from perfect.
Ben
And so she's saying, yeah, you know, I don't agree with my family. My life's not perfect.
Aaliyah
I'm not married yet. Like, I've been engaged for nine years. Like, I don't even like the way Billy proposed to me. Like, he didn't even give me my Cinderella moment. Where's my Cinderella moment?
Michelle
Well, you know, we didn't see Cinderella get proposed to either.
Ben
To be fair, Cinderella didn't have great moments.
Boost Mobile Announcer
Really?
Ben
I mean, she had, like, one. And honestly, like, she had it, like, clean a lot, too. You know what I mean?
Michelle
And, like, maybe she should have cleaned better.
Ben
Yeah, I feel like you should compare yourself to a Disney princess who didn't have to work so hard, like, where's my Snow White moment? Would that lady ever do?
Michelle
What about Belle? Belle?
Ben
Belle literally did nothing.
Michelle
She just walked around and got books.
Ben
She read.
Michelle
She actually was very fucking day.
Ben
And back then, that wasn't when they were like, oh, my God, you're reading. You're so smart. Like, if you read a book now, people are like, oh, you are so smart. You read. Back then, it was like, sitting around watching TV all day, you know?
Michelle
And this should annoy everyone. Saying hello to everyone. Like, ladies. Oh, God, I gotta say, it gotta be perky for this fucking asshole coming through the town being like, hello, bonjour. I'm like, you know what? Let me just wipe this counter down.
Ben
I know. It's like, Belle. We all want to give her credit because she was, like, the first one to marry an ugly dude for his mansion.
Michelle
More like. More like bell biv Duno. Get out of my face. So Alicia's Aunt Judy comes in, and by the way, I'm sorry, this. I'm making bad jokes over here.
Alicia
It's Aaliyah quitting.
Michelle
Aaliyah just had a look on her face like, wow, I. What am I doing? My life.
Ben
But also, Sleeping Beauty is the laziest bitch out of all time. She still got everything. What she do? She did nothing but sleep all day, that one's.
Michelle
But also, she had, like, one job, which was like, not to get your finger pricked.
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
Like, how often do you. How often in your life does your finger really get pricked?
Ben
Wasn't that Rapunzel?
Michelle
No, Rapunzel had the hair.
Ben
Oh. But wasn't Rapunzel the one who was stuck with the weaver guy? The troll who was, like, weaving shit?
Michelle
That's Rumpelstiltskin.
Ben
But he wasn't with her.
Michelle
No, Rumpelstiltskin was just, like. Rumpelstiltskin was like, that's like a real annoying fairy tale. Oh, I forget how that worked. But something like, he basically riddles. He, like, stomped his foot into the ground so hard he wound up going into the. I don't know. Rumbelstiltskin's such a mat. It's such a low end fairy tale.
Ben
It really is. And it's also like an old guy, you know, like, who wants that?
Michelle
Yeah. Like, you always know you're a bad fairy tale if you haven't been made into a Disney movie already. Yeah, like, at this point, if it hasn't been made, then you're just like, not.
Ben
Oh, I remind myself every day. So a few days we see a flashback of her saying, you know, Billy,
Aaliyah
like, I think it would be nice if you asked me the right way. Like, I don't know, like, surprise me. And he's like, you're almost 50 years old.
Michelle
Why do you need this? What surprises you? Let me tell you something. When Cinderella turned 50, I guarantee Prince Charming was not doing anything special for her anymore. So now the aunts are still talking and Judy's like, so maybe what it
Joellen
is is the medication that. That Liz takes.
Michelle
Huh?
Joellen
She's like, no, no, I don't think she's on anything. But you know what they deal in? Medical marijuana.
Aaliyah
Like, she doesn't need it, though. She doesn't need it.
Joellen
You're a liar.
Ashley
That lady doesn't have the medical marijuana. Come on, take notes.
Ben
She doesn't like it, Ma.
Aaliyah
She has the mess with plants. It's very sacred.
Joellen
No, it's the paranoia from the medicine. I'm telling you that right now. Alicia, think about it. Okay? You can tell. You can't tell me. I've been around the block.
Ashley
Yes, she's been around the block.
Joellen
Yeah, well, you know what? The cooker cops used to hang out
Michelle
around the block too.
Joellen
Yeah, I know. I was married to one of them. Oh, yeah.
Ashley
By the time I was done with
Ben
him, he was straight again. We'll break him and put him in a split.
Michelle
Now let's go to Wickford, Rhode Island. Cause Dolores summer rental is here. So Liz shows up and Dolores is like, hey, dawg, watch out, dog. Liz is here. So Liz is like, hello, Dollywally dog. I know, it was nice to see dog.
Joellen
Liz is like, hello, Dollywally. See, I introduced Dolly this episode, but
Michelle
now Dolly, Wally, we're just growing fast.
Ashley
I'm really catching on to me, you know? Mommy dressed you up. Ooh, got you coffee. Crystal on. Kelsey's on the way.
Ben
So they go sit outside and talk. All the ladies. These three ladies sit out and talk. And so Kelsey's like, well, Joellen texted me. Do you wanna hear what she said?
Ashley
She's like, yeah, I wanna hear what she said.
Aaliyah
Okay. And so it begins. Liz and Alicia.
Ben
I'm trying to calm Liz down, but
Aaliyah
she thinks everyone's against her.
Ben
Nothing's helping.
Aaliyah
I wish you were here.
Ben
This is all I know.
Joellen
Yeah, something.
Michelle
She's like, yeah, I mean, well, I need to hear what happened.
Joellen
She's like, okay. So we sit in the car, and Alicia starts saying, my mother's saying, she's so proud of me for telling my truth.
Aaliyah
And.
Joellen
And I said, alicia, you were never homeless. And as I'm saying it, I got Joellen going, oh, my God, Alicia, your feelings are validated. Your feelings are valid. Oh, my God. And that's coming out of the devil herself. Right? Like, so. Yeah, now I'm feeling it. I'm feeling offense to that. This human is taking the role of a mediator.
Ben
Yeah.
Ashley
And it's like, instead of saying, you know, no, she didn't mean it that
Aaliyah
way, she's saying she's sorry, stupid Joel.
Ashley
And saying, you deserve to feel the way you feel. Nobody has the right to take that away from you. I mean, who the fuck wants to take it away away from her? I said I was sorry 1200 times.
Joellen
You know, I always question everything that comes out of Joellen because I just feel like it's disingenuous.
Michelle
And Kelsey's like, and Joellen just wants to be liked by everyone.
Joellen
Like, yeah. You know what she does is she goes, she's so phony. It's like a. It's like phony baloney. You go to the deli and you're like, can I get some ham, cheese, and some bologna of the phony variety. Because that's what she is.
Aaliyah
Kelsey's like, if I just want to
Ben
stay out of this, okay, just leave
Michelle
me out of this.
Ben
Like, she's already been yelled at by Liz. She's like, no, thanks. So she's like, yeah, I think Liz's problems stem from trust. Like, she doesn't trust Joellen at all. And that's the nucleus of the problems. Thanks, Kelsey.
Michelle
Yeah, thanks. Have you washed your foot yet?
Joellen
So Liz is like, yeah, we get a restaurant. And like Joellen, she kept putting her hands on me. Like, calm down. Like, that makes me more mad. Like, you're enraged. You're fuming. Like, why are you so nasty?
Ben
Oh, you know what? See, now she's making her even more worked up. This is what happened.
Joellen
Correct. I had no choice but then to shut it down.
Ashley
Yeah.
Ben
But eventually, you know what? She's gonna. She's gonna Come to her senses. Hey, you know what?
Aaliyah
I'd reach out to her, because you have history. She's like, jo Ellen, it is what it is.
Ashley
But when I do look at her, and she's like, I'm so kind and. And, like, who I've gotten to know through the years, that's not a kind person.
Aaliyah
Be yourself. You're all the human being. Be horrible.
Michelle
Well, it's funny because she also says,
Joellen
you know, they call me the scary one, but I truly believe Joellen is
Michelle
capable of anything, and this is her thing. I think she just. I think Liz is like, I'm a nice person, and no one is. People always think I'm scary, and no one ever, like, is kind to me or they are not open to me because that I'm like. They think I'm scary, and I'm not scary. But this whole situation, I think it's hitting this thing in her where she's like, see? And now I'm gonna be called scary again. And I think that's what's, like, setting her off so much.
Ben
Yeah, so. And it's also, like, when you're a bitch like me, you want to be friends with another bitch.
Aaliyah
That's just how it goes.
Ben
Like, you. Yeah. And so if we're both bitches, then we get in a situation with somebody else, and you act nice, and I'm still acting like a bitch. It's like, I thought we were a team. Like, the funny thing, only bitch.
Michelle
But you're not really a bitch. You're just like. You Play 1 on TV. But I'm, like, really a bitch. But, like, for some reason, people think I'm the nice one on this podcast all the time. People like, ben is so sweet. He is so nice and so sweet.
Ben
I'm like, you are sweet and nice.
Michelle
No, I'm not.
Ben
But you're also a bitch.
Michelle
People don't realize I'm like, I'm a real bitch. And then they. If I. Then if they see that, they'll be surprised. Like, ben's mean. I'm like, yeah, I've always said I was mean, but for some reason, people say I'm nice because you, you know, you.
Ben
You are not. I don't think you're mean.
Michelle
No, I'm.
Ben
To me.
Michelle
Well, I think I'm.
Ben
I mean, I've seen.
Joellen
It's not that I'm mean.
Michelle
It's just that, like, I have, like. I have, like, a lot of snotty feelings about things, you know, in a way that I think people are surprised about.
Ben
I don't think people would be surprised that you're snotty. I think that that's why you're celebrated. I love your snottiness. I feel like people are so weak and can't be snotty anymore. They have to pretend that everything's, like, the same and everything's not the same. That's why there's rating systems. That's why there's star systems. There's a Yelp for a reason.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
Okay.
Michelle
Well, it's always so funny to me on all these shows how it is always the messenger. It's always the person who's trying to broker peace between two people that winds up in the biggest feud. Because what's going to happen is Liz and Alicia are going to. They're going to mend fences, and it's now going to become Liz and Joellen. And this happens on Housewives, on any reality show, over and over and over again. I mean, it's why we have a saying, don't shoot the messenger. Because it happens enough that someone.
Ben
They literally would kill the messenger. Those books I was reading on Rome, they killed them all the time. The messenger would be come and tell them something. They would behead them. Yeah.
Michelle
It's crazy.
Ben
But it's also, like, why anybody is a mailman.
Michelle
I think that people. I think ultimately we seem to value people just saying what's on their mind. And even if you're mad at them in that moment, if you have a fight, it's like, well, okay, well, you said what was on your mind versus someone who is trying to. People who are trying to broker peace, whether it's real or not, are often perceived as phony because it's like, ultimately, like, who are you trying to. You can't say that you're neutral. That's how people view it.
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
And so it's like people are. Would be angrier at someone who they perceive as inauthentic than they would be at someone who might say something that's actually hurtful or mean or whatever. Like, they will always get over something. They'll always get over the beef with the person who said the mean thing or the wrong thing or whatever it is before they get over, you know, someone who they feel like is the
Ben
worst, that you can't read.
Michelle
But sometimes someone is being authentic, but they're in a position where they're. The someone feels like they're not. Not authentic. And once you have that stink on you of you're not authentic, that's always going to be the Biggest. That'll always be the biggest crime in any of these feuds. Well, so think about that. Everyone who's stopped listening.
Ben
Yeah, shut up.
Michelle
Shout out. Shout out to people who are not here anymore.
Ben
At first glance, I thought this next note said sourdough beach. And I was like, finally, a beach for me. Fucking finally I can go somewhere and take off my shirt. Because that's what I look like without my shirt. I look like a new sourdough. And at least it's new. But, like, I look like a new sourdough. Boulay. Is that what they're called?
Aaliyah
Like the. A bull?
Ben
They're called boules.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
It's not called boule?
Michelle
No.
Ben
What, have we just forgotten our French?
Michelle
No, that is. No, you're just. You've done the. You just. You. You added like a little extra sizzle to it. But it's a bul.
Ben
I like that because my grandfather was Lebanese and if you were lying, you would say bull. Maybe he was just asking for bread.
Michelle
Sourdough Boulevard B O U L L E. Boull. Well, anyway, I can only imagine how many bakers have been like, do you guys sell sourdough boulets?
Ben
Well, don't forget, I also live in Texas, so I'm sure that's normal there. Can I have one of them boulets?
Ashley
Hand it over.
Michelle
I have a boulay, please.
Alicia
Someone speaking French.
Michelle
I got a nice boulay over here. Boo.
Alicia
You bully
Joellen
me forever.
Michelle
You stay so. Yeah, I feel like I look like. I feel like what I look like with Astron is a piece of. Non. Kind of.
Ben
I wish.
Michelle
Just like, kind of flat but lumpy in areas.
Ben
That's good, though. You've got the flatness down. And who doesn't love none?
Michelle
I love naan.
Ben
Me too.
Michelle
I think, like, if you were. If bread were like a body goal, what would you. I think you would probably want to be like a ciabatta.
Ben
Right?
Michelle
It's got the ripples, like abs on top.
Ben
Maybe I would want to be a breadstick.
Michelle
Like a baguette. Or as you might call it, a baguette.
Aaliyah
Baguette.
Ben
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
Blue Lizard Announcer
Be adventurous in the sun. Be protected in the sun. Be confident in the sun. Be fearless in the sun with Blue Lizard Australian sunscreen. As experts in mineral sunscreens for nearly 30 years, we've earned awards for our high quality products and the trust of healthcare professionals. Embrace every moment in the sun with your family and Blue Lizard by Your side beef Fearless in the sun Shop Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen now on Amazon.com
Boost Mobile Announcer
Unlock the savings at Boost Mobile and save up to $600 a year. I've been scouting these big carriers for a minute now and I've seen them pull the same play a thousand times. They promise you the world, then hit you with a price hike right when the game gets tight. But boost mobile, their $25 a month unlimited wireless plan, is the most consistent player on the floor. No contracts and no price hikes. Unlock the safe today@boostmobile.com Unlock based on average annual single line payment of AT&T Verizon and T Mobile customers compared to 12 months of the Boost Mobile unlimited wireless plan as of January 2026. For full offer details, visit Boost Mobile.com
Ben
now we have a Rosie and Rich scene where they go to film at the beach with their whole family. And I'm fast forwarding through a lot of this because this whole scene is
Alicia
like, when are you gonna have kids? Yeah, what kind of life you're gonna live if you don't have kids, huh? What are you, how old are you? How your ovaries, honey?
Ashley
Huh?
Alicia
How, yeah, doing, honey, you got. You guys gonna make kids? Ain't no one no life worth living without the kids. What are you doing with this?
Ben
Shut up about you and your kids, you human polluters, all of you people. Dropping all these losers all over the place. I'm sick of picking up your litter and hearing your kids run around. Just everybody stop having kids. What's going to happen to the human race? Maybe it'll end. And God bless the earth.
Michelle
Yeah. Because for every doctor you birth, you also birth a Kelsey stick in your her barefoot into a pail of garbage.
Ben
Yes. You have one doctor and then you have 20 people who are like drinking fucking Drano because they saw it on TikTok.
Michelle
You know, that's why you have the doctor to take care of those things.
Ben
Exactly.
Michelle
But one thing I will say, my takeaway on this that I did enjoy was that I actually think that Rich and Rosie have a really good banter. Like, they have a really good rapport. That feels very healthy to me, which means they'll probably get divorced. But I have to say I think that they have, like, I like their vibe together. I think that, like, he gives it to her, she gives it back. It's like. Cause then we're gonna go right into, I believe, an Ashley scene. Yeah, it's an Ashley scene. Cause it struck me they have a really, I really enjoy their Banter. And then when we go to Ashley, you can see that Ashley's almost like afraid to say things to her husband. She's like, oh, you hate it. You love it when I'm here, right?
Ben
So they always had that dynamic too. Cause even on Bachelor in Paradise where they got together, I covered that season and she was, she was like, oh,
Alicia
I'm Jared's best friend, but we don't have anything more there. I mean, maybe I like him. It's like he's like dating all these other people.
Ben
And then you'd see Jared, like, literally trying to be with anybody else. And finally at the end, he's like, well, I guess no one else is into me, so I guess it's you, Ashley.
Alicia
Are you sure?
Ben
And so they've got this like, fucked up dynamic that has lasted into their marriage. And like, she's the gorgeous. I mean, he's pretty hot, but she's like the gorgeous model who's making all the money and being famous. And he's just kind of this hot. Not schlubby in a looks way.
Aaliyah
He's a hot guy, but he's just
Ben
kind of this, like, I'm just. I just want to stay in my coffee shop and make some fucking so coffee and just be left alone and like play my PlayStation. Is that too much to ask? You know? And she's the one acting like she's
Michelle
punching up, that she's actually punching down.
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
Yeah. Well, speaking of which, let's move on to Audrey's. So I was decided. I was like, what's going on with Audrey's? Because, like, oh, it's not making money. It's not making money. Well, I noticed a few things. One, I just, I decided to look around. Audrey's in the scene. And I looked at it. This is an enormous space. I should have realized it last week when they had their trivia night. But, like, it's very big. It's very airy. This is too big for a coffee shop. I'm sorry. So you're losing money because you don't have a. It's not cozy the way a coffee shop should be. A coffee shop should either be cozy or chic, and it's neither of those things. So.
Aaliyah
Need a chandelier.
Michelle
Needs a chandelier. Like, if I'm going into a coffee shop, like, I want to either go to a blue bottle where everything is sleek and like, it's stark and I feel very cool and hip, or I want to go into someplace cozy. Like, I want to go into a Central perk place where the comfy couches. But either way, this was just sort of like. It's like a very big, generic space. It's echoey. It just. If you look in the background, it goes forever. There's couches, there's tables, there's a fireplace. It just goes. It goes and goes. I was like, okay, it's in a mall.
Ben
I think somebody. I think I read somewhere that it's, like, in a mall or it's part of a shopping center. So it's also not convenient to go to. Like, you're not gonna go to the Starbucks at the mall unless you're at the mall.
Michelle
Right?
Ben
You know, but if it's part of
Michelle
a strip mall, like, okay, fine. But then on top of that, we have this whole scene here that we're about to get into.
Ben
About. But wait, I want to still talk about coffee shops.
Michelle
No, no, no, no, no, no. It's part of that.
Ben
Okay.
Michelle
It's that thin. I like that.
Ben
That was only an hour into this.
Michelle
That was, like, a very serious moment. You're like, no, no. We have. No. And this whole scene is about, like, cocktails. And, like, we have a cocktail program we want to introduce.
Ben
I literally am not going to your coffee shop to drink booze.
Michelle
This is why you're a failing business. No one goes to coffee shops for their cocktails. I'm sorry. That's called a coffee shop. And actually, then I saw the sign. It's called. It's called Audrey's. Audrey's Coffee. And it's not coffee and cocktails, but it's coffee and something else.
Ben
Toys.
Michelle
But it was like, this is your problem. It's mixed messaging. You just cannot make. You cannot. You're not odd. If Audrey's becomes, like, super successful, maybe you can bring that in. Starbucks couldn't even do this. Starbucks introduced a fancy line of Starbucks. Do you remember these? Starbucks. They were like, the nice Starbucks Aaliyah. Did you ever see those? Nice Starbucks.
Ben
Those stores?
Michelle
There were these, like, their specialty Starbucks. There was one that used to be on La Brea. And you could get beers on tap. I don't know if you could get cocktails, but you could get alcohol.
Ben
Weird.
Michelle
Not take off. Well, I'm so mad about this point. I'm like, they're serving alcohol. They shouldn't. It's like, you either be a bar or you're a coffee shop, but you can't be, like, a mix of this and that or whatever.
Ben
Pick a lane.
Michelle
Pick a lane. And I have a big footprint.
Ben
It Is amazing how much design really does matter. So I went to three coffee shops today because we're in SoHo, and I wanted to walk around. I was here early, and so I went to the closest one, which is this one.
Michelle
Oh, I went to. You know what? I went there with Michelle once. It has, like, the thing in this middle, right?
Ben
Well, it's just. No, it's just like, a little, small, tiny place. You walk in, there's just, like, a counter, like, some little benches that you can sit at.
Michelle
Oh, I went to a different place,
Ben
and you just walk in. It's very simple. Okay. And I was like, I don't want to go in there, because I don't, like, is our pastry. And then down the street, there's one called Velvet, and you look in, and it's just gorgeous, glittering pastries. And there was a line around the store to get into that one, so I didn't want to go to that one because it was a line. So I went to one down the block. I forget what it was called, and
Aaliyah
it was just ugly.
Ben
It was like, what are you, 711 or a coffee shop? I'm not even going in there.
Michelle
It was a Radio Shack.
Ben
Yeah. I'm not going in there.
Joellen
And they're selling old keyboards.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
The girl was, like, spraying, like, banaka in her mouth. I'm like, I want to get coffee from you.
Aaliyah
Stinky, stinky breath. So I walked back.
Ben
Ultimately, I went to Velvet. I mean, it looked gorgeous. It has a line around the block. It's like the pastries are gleaming. You're gonna go in there. They didn't have decaf coffee, though, so I got my pastry from there, and I still ended up at La Colombe. But at least in there, you know, La Colomba's really good. Fast, and it's good. They're simple, you know. You know, you see what you're getting with each one. Audrey's is like, what are you, a trivia night?
Michelle
That's the thing.
Ben
Is it a pogo stick competition? Like, what are we doing? Am I getting coffee? What's happening?
Michelle
And also, the thing is that, like, there is, like, an aesthetic for coffee shops, and if you don't follow that aesthetic, then what it sort of says, the consumer is they don't know what they're doing.
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
And so therefore, the coffee's not gonna be good.
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
And, like, why am I gonna waste my time here? Because the thing is, I actually sometimes don't even like a coffee shop that looks a little too bougie and fancy. Like, I don't want a coffee shop that looks like it's for influencers. I want a coffee shop that. Again, I just want it to. I want the coffee shop to be a lifestyle that I aspire to. Because if you really. No, if you think about it. If you think about it, the coffee at most of these places is largely going to be the same. Some places have better coffee and you can taste. But, like, by and large, like, I think. I think the average person really is not gonna taste a huge difference between too many of the coffees. You might notice this coffee's a little bit more acidic or this or that. But a lot of times, I think the reason why I think we're gravitating towards certain coffee shops is because we like what that coffee shop says about us and how we feel when we go there. And when I go to certain coffee shops, I feel smarter, I feel artsier, I feel whatever. I feel more motivated to do my thing. But if I go into a coffee shop that is, like, just doesn't have the right vibe, it feels like a waste of a coffee shop experience. I can't explain it when we go out.
Ben
No, I think you're explaining it well. I mean.
Michelle
Yeah, I think it's like. I mean, I don't like to say, like, oh, I go to a coffee shop because it makes me feel like I'm smarter or whatever. It's, like, embarrassing to say that. But I think if I really drill down, some of these places are about the vibe you want to be surrounded by, because coffee is ultimately coffee.
Ben
Well, it's everything, you know, like, every place you go into is like that. I guess.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
I mean, for me, it's not. For me, all a coffee shop is is a place that has a croissant. That's all I think about. So maybe that makes me a croissant of a human being. Like, I don't know. I'll take that.
Michelle
Yeah. I mean, look, I will get coffee in a. In a.
Ben
An hour to be on my couch with the croissant.
Michelle
Yeah. But you know what? Like, I just. There is, like, a vibe that you're going. And by the way, I say coffee is coffee. And I know different coffee shops, they do literally have different flavors. Like, you. You can tell a difference. But ultimately, like, a coffee. If two coffee shops have the exact same coffee, you know, if you go to. How about this? You go to a. You're. You're staying at a hotel, and the little cafe downstairs says, we proudly serve La Coulombe coffee And. And then there's like, LA Column down the street. I'm probably going to go to La Columne down the street because I like the vibe there more, you know?
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
So I've proven something.
Ben
So the point is, Audrey sucks.
Michelle
Audrey sucks.
Ben
I can't believe this place is still fucking open. Yeah, so Ashley's there.
Alicia
It's like, I'm actually starving. Can you make me a grilled cheese or, like, tomato soup or. No tomatoes. Oh, God, would tomato soup be ridiculous?
Ben
And he's like, oh, no. She says, can I have a grilled
Alicia
cheese but without the tomato soup? Will that be ridiculous?
Ben
Yes, lady, you own the place.
Michelle
You own the. Just get a grilled cheese. Or actually, how about this? Why don't you go back there and put the two pieces of bread and the butter down on the hot plate that you need to do, and then put the cheese on it and you'll be ready in two minutes.
Ben
Yeah. You're the owner. Get back there and work. So she's decided she's going to make this a more profitable coffee shop by bringing in cocktails. As you mentioned, we're gonna do a summer menu. She's like, you hate me being here.
Alicia
Don't.
Ben
She's like, I mean, not any more than I hate you being at home or in my life in general. Sit down.
Michelle
So he. They start experimenting with some cocktails to make for this coffee shop, which already. I don't like that they're making cocktails, but they're doing it. And so he makes like this neon blue cocktail. I was like, what are you. Like, if a coffee shop is going to serve cocktails, it does happen. It can happen. Like, why are you serving a cheesy ass blue cocktail from 1993? Like, what is happening?
Ben
It's not like a frat place.
Joellen
Yeah.
Michelle
No one. No one serves blue cocktails anymore. Like, this is not how it goes, you know?
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
Like you want. It should be like artisanal island. Yeah, I guess so. It should be artisanal and it should be, like, muddled and there should be limelies everywhere. But you know what they got. They also have. I also noticed this too, but this coffee shop, the back wall had all those Italian syrups.
Ben
Yeah. Yeah.
Michelle
And I feel like whenever I see that, I'm like, this is not my vibe.
Aaliyah
You're not.
Ben
You're not serious people. I don't feel like that's like the guy from Succession.
Joellen
Yeah.
Ben
Not serious people.
Michelle
I don't think that's what coffee shops in 2026 are. Those. Those Syrups are like. They're like a relic of 1997.
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
Like, it's like, it's just so out of touch. Like, these are people who don't know what they're doing. Well, I'm not been this fired up in a month. I'm like, so mad about this coffee shop.
Ben
It's so funny. Yeah, that blue drink actually triggered me too. I was like, can you just get a vodka soda at this place? Cuz then the other one they made was also a really brightly colored thing.
Michelle
Make a mojito.
Aaliyah
Yeah.
Ben
Why are we making these for like college girls on their first.
Michelle
It's like they don't know it. These are people that just don't know what. What. They have no reference.
Ben
But I think maybe they're trying to bring the kids into drinking, which is actually smart because they had trivia night and they had all the kids in there. There were like a lot of kids. And so I think they're trying to make alcohol look good to the kids. And then they should open a bar across the street. So create alcoholism. Create some alcoholics young who like your brand and then you transition them into alcoholism. So I think it could be a good idea. I just don't think you're thinking on that level.
Michelle
But you know what's also doing is that you know that this place is like last calls at 9:30. You know, they close at probably, okay, 8 or 10.
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
Like, so you're like, you want to like what you're trying to like, court some sort of like happy hour thing. Like, so you're not gonna be bar enough to be a bar. You're not gonna be coffee shop enough to be a coffee shop. So just like burn the whole thing down.
Ben
I say burn it down.
Michelle
Burn it down for sure.
Joellen
Her.
Michelle
Yeah. Laburna down.
Ben
Yeah. So this scene was sad because he clearly hates her and so do you. So that. That works.
Michelle
I just think she's a poor casting choice. I'm sorry.
Ben
And I'm not.
Michelle
I have not understood why she's on this show yet.
Ben
I mean, yeah, I like her. I get it. I mean, I know why I really earned her stripes. Especially like the other. The other ladies on here putting in a lot more. Except for you, Ruler. But at least she has a cheating husband, you know? And she's Lebanese, which I always approve of.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
So then this is boring. So then we go to Kelsey's apartment and she has easels. So we learned something about Kelsey today, which is that she is a somewhat higher end, mediocre. Artist, which I was very surprised. She can draw.
Michelle
Yeah. She, like, did some art that was like. You know when they do those commercials or they used to do them, like, oh, it's a starving artist Sail at the airport. You know when, like, the people.
Ben
And you're like, well, I get it.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
I get why they're starving.
Michelle
It's like she watched some Bob Ross.
Joellen
Yeah.
Michelle
But she was, like, way more talented than I thought.
Ben
Me too.
Michelle
I mean, I totally give her credit for.
Ben
Or is, like, someone with a kid
Aaliyah
that you always thought was really, like,
Ben
kind of a dumb kid, but then they can draw something, and you're like, wow, that's pretty good. You know, you'll be great when you're not three. It's like crayons on a menu. But still, I was impressed.
Michelle
Yeah. Unfortunately, she used the sole of her foot as her paint palette. But that's okay.
Ben
She needs to paint the bottom of her foot with a wet N. That's her brush.
Joellen
I know.
Ben
Okay. So Jo Ellen comes over for art day, and she's like, oh, my God, you're in painting. And she's like, yeah, I've always done it my whole life.
Aaliyah
I had a scholastic art award in high school.
Michelle
And Joellen's like, shut up. I didn't know this about you. And we see that three weeks ago, she found a. She had this big. She had this big drawing that she made of herself. So they're painting, and Joellen's like, you
Joellen
know, I haven't talked to you about my last time I saw Liz.
Michelle
But, like, honestly, like, it was just, like, aggressive and, like, really hurtful, and, like, I just. I don't want to fight with her. Like, she's one of my best friends. I've now announced this for my 15th time.
Joellen
She's one of my best friends. And she was, like, berating me, and, like, it, like, wouldn't stop. And, like, Kelce.
Michelle
It was, like, a lot. And, like, we were in public, and I'm like, I'm not doing this. I don't know why you're so mad at me.
Ben
Yeah. And Kelsey's like, yeah, knew this was gonna come. This day was gonna come. And she's like, I've already been yelled at her. I'm not getting in the middle of this bas. And she's like, so, Kelsey, like, where do you stand in all this? Like, I'm not trying to make you,
Aaliyah
like, pick sides, but, like, it's a little uncomfortable. So, like, pick a side.
Ben
You know? Did I do something wrong? Am I crazy?
Aaliyah
Like, like, what's.
Ben
What's going on? She's like, no, I mean, look, I just. I don't think there was malice in you consoling Alicia. But listen, I already had my.
Aaliyah
With Liz, okay?
Ben
Just, this is my art day. Can we just concentrate on my art?
Michelle
Part of me feels that, like, Kelsey is scared of her, but, like, we're all like. Because, like, there's no reasoning with Liz.
Joellen
And, like, at a certain point, it's Liz's way of the highway. And, like, she's scary as fuck.
Michelle
Like, she's going to come through this
Joellen
fucking screen like the Ring and, like,
Michelle
climb out with a fucking hair and be like, wow. You know, like. Because that's what she does.
Joellen
It's like a scene from the Ring.
Michelle
Like, Right?
Joellen
It's like a ring.
Ben
That's so funny. I just told my friend on a. On a comment on one of his Instagram videos, I was like, this is like watching the Ring, this video, and I was wondering where that came from. From watching Rhode Island. Damn it. I hate how this stuff just seeps into your brain.
Michelle
Well, to be fair, we. I think we've mentioned things being like the Ring many times also. You know who's not gonna like that? Liz.
Joellen
She's like, I'm not scary.
Michelle
You look like the possessed girl coming through the tv.
Ben
But also, Joe, Ellen's wanted to talk about someone being scary. I mean, Jo Ellen's got her friends following somebody around with a private eye to get videos of, like, your husband cheating. Like, she's pretty fucking scary too.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
And I still don't believe that she did absolutely nothing to get put in those hospitals. I just don't believe it. She set something on fire at the very least.
Michelle
So then they're like, okay, let's look at our paint. Let's look at what we did. So then Kelsey turns around and she made like, this very lovely ocean sunset painting. And the music's like, like, oh, wow. And then Joellen turns hers around and it's like a amateurish painting of, like, a Slut Pig or Slam Pig.
Ben
Slam Pig. It's like Slam Pig commercials.
Michelle
Here comes one right now. Summer always changes how I'd get dressed. I want pieces that feel lighter and more breathable. Things that are. Are easy but still pull together.
Ben
That's why I keep coming back to Quinn's.
Aaliyah
They focus on high quality essentials that
Ben
feel and look amazing. Think breathable linen, soft, organic cotton, well
Aaliyah
made, basics, but without the luxury markup.
Ben
It's that rare balance where everything feels
Aaliyah
elevated but still effortless, Quince European linen
Michelle
pants and shirts are the perfect warm weather upgrade to add to your rotation. Starting at just $34, their tees are
Ben
soft and easy to wear. And their lightweight cotton sweaters are perfect for cooler summer nights. Heights.
Michelle
Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.
Aaliyah
They work directly with ethical factories and
Ben
cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup.
Michelle
Let me tell you something. That Mongolian cashmere sweater that I got from Quince, that is like a real icebreaker at parties. Because when people ask me about that sweater and I'm like, oh, I got it at Quints, they're like, oh my God, I have one from Quince too. And then we bond. You would actually would never think a Mongolian cashmere sweater could be such a bonding thing. But it is a lovely, luxurious item. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com crappins for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com crappens for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com crappins
Jake Stauch
I'm Jake Stauch, co founder and CEO of Cervel. We built Servl to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding password resets, access to applications. My laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. It desperately wants to automate this work and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Servil what you want to automate in plain English and it's built. No drag and drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Cerval, it becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run it. We guarantee you'll automate 50% of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four week pilot. Go to serval.com acast that's S E-R-V-A L.com acast.
Ben
Now we go to Bristol, Rhode island and. Oh, guys, hold on a second. Something big is happening. It's a ruler scene.
Aaliyah
Wow.
Michelle
Get excited. Buckle up. It's about to get real intense. It's Rula and Liz. I haven't seen Liz since the polo match. And Liz checked up on me and sent a text message when I was sick in bed. And then like, I, I hearted it, but I Was so dead out of it that I didn't have energy to send the proper response. Thanks for that update. You sent a heart emoji.
Ben
Wow. This text from Liz is so long.
Ashley
My last text never went through. I get the notion that you like to keep things private. I mean, I'm cautious to impose.
Ben
The fuck kind of sentence is that structured that I get the notion that you like to keep things private and I'm cautious to impose. Are you even. Who's writing?
Michelle
I feel like she's lyrics to like. Isn't this like a song?
Ben
Yes, probably it will be notion. I've maintained from the beginning that I can only go as far as you're willing to meet me. I'm hearing that you've not been well, I'm sorry to hear this. Tell me it's my none of my business, but I suspect a lot of that has to do with mental and emotional stress and you need to be so guarded during a turbulent time. We've been there at some point and I'm no exception. It's raw, it's real, it's life. Menopause, gummy. But I can't be there for you if you don't allow me to.
Aaliyah
That being said, I personally would want
Ben
someone to tell me this, dot, dot, dot. But it doesn't say, is she saying your husband is cheating? Is that after the dot, dot, dot or just the whole text?
Joellen
I. I don't know.
Michelle
I don't know if she's saying like, yeah, I don't know if it's implying about like the, about the cheating or if she's saying like, oh, I wish someone would check in on. On me the way you check.
Ben
So ruler goes.
Aaliyah
I hearted her text. I was so dead out of it. I just didn't have the energy to
Ben
send a proper response.
Aaliyah
When I was ill with that virus that they couldn't figure out or pinpoint.
Ben
If I sent a three page text to somebody and they just hearted it and never wrote back. I mean, what the hell, Rula? You don't even show up. You can take the time to just write thank you.
Michelle
Yeah, seriously.
Ben
Or Ty, Ty.
Michelle
You had time to do a front flip into a film.
Ben
Yeah.
Michelle
So they're sitting down and there's like a B. And I was like, oh my God, it's a baby. I'm scared. Look at. Oh God, be careful, Liz.
Joellen
Like, I'm actually the one that's allergic here.
Michelle
It's like, you know what? I don't know if I am and I never want to know it's my one thing I can't handle. Bees. Oh, no, look how distraught I am.
Ben
So she's like, what happened with Jo Ellen? So Liz tells her the story.
Ashley
She's like, we went to bathing. I fell down. Boozled and Jack teamed. I was on the defense. Joellen taking the space of peacemaker, a mediator.
Aaliyah
Oh, Joellen, who cares about everybody? She plays this role in that role. I'm like this. I'm like that. I'm like that person.
Ben
I'm like this person. You know what I'm saying?
Joellen
Yeah. I'm doubting Joellen's authenticity.
Michelle
Wake up. Good morning. Good morning, Elizabeth.
Joellen
I'm not waking up because this is where you're wrong. I felt this way since the beginning.
Michelle
And then they do. Air of quite lengthy montage of Liz pushing back on Joellen.
Ben
Joellen's starting shit constantly.
Joellen
She's like, ah, no, I'm constantly questioning her authenticity.
Michelle
Well, I'm flattered that she's so interested in my life, but at the same time, you know, go fix yours. Don't lash out at my husband. I wouldn't do that to yours. And there's a lot I could lash out on her with. I was like, well, is there with Jo Ellen, she sort of has this hot guy, and maybe Joel, maybe it's
Ben
a lot of stuff they've already talked
Michelle
about, but, like, that she has to
Ben
fix that she's like a swinger and that they're always cheating on each other.
Michelle
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ben
They're always.
Michelle
Well, there's like. Is the sister banging. Banging Gary?
Ben
But Rula's like, that sister is probably banging Gary. I mean, come on.
Michelle
Let's just say if you were the sister, of course.
Ben
Shit, I'd be.
Michelle
Let's just say. Let's just say Jo Ellen might be guilty of what she accuses Brian of doing. So one thing I've heard is that Jo Ellen is not the most loyal to her husband. It's like the pot calling the kettle black, you know?
Ben
No, it's not. Because she's calling out your husband, not you, and you're calling out her.
Michelle
Because the thing is that she actually has, like, she has hard evidence on Brian. And, like, we all see it. That's the issue.
Ben
I don't know how hard it is. I mean, it is Brian. I would guess it's at least, like, half.
Michelle
That's for our Housewives show. That's.
Ben
That's, like, considered what Just mean his heart on.
Michelle
Oh, yeah.
Ben
So he's like, definitely a helicopter. Like, he's got to work.
Michelle
Yeah. Now we go over to Thrive Performance lab, and we know it's a real. A real deal fitness place because it's not spelled with an I, it's spelled with a Y. Why?
Ashley
Ew.
Michelle
I don't know.
Ben
Yeah, I see that. Gross.
Michelle
Thrive.
Ben
Why are you going to go to a performance lab that can't spell itself?
Michelle
No. Thrive.
Ben
Why?
Michelle
Thrive. Oddly enough, it's also at Audrey's. I'm like, what? They really do everything in this coffee shop.
Ben
So she's there with Billy, right?
Michelle
Billy and David, the fitness coach. And they're working. It's Kelsey and Billy, Bill, and they're. They're working out and everything. And she's like, you know, touching his butt and stuff like that. And she goes, it's nice to look at a man that knows what he's doing. He looks like Hercules with the muscles and the blondish hair. And if he had like, what, like a mermaid tail. Is that what Hercules had, a mermaid tail? It's like, lady, this is why. This is why you don't get with a sugar daddy. Like, just do some.
Ben
Just basic. Basic. Not even reading. Like, pamphlet reading maybe.
Michelle
Yeah, I'm like, I'm not even saying go to college.
Ben
Partly Disney movie, wasn't it? You at least know that.
Michelle
It's just. It's like, just do some basic. Anything, anything. Get yourself some awareness of Hercules.
Ben
Like, how do you put on your shoes in the morning? I don't know how she does a
Michelle
mermaid tail on her shoes.
Ben
She and Bill are.
Michelle
She is the definition of a low functioning AI machine. Like, it's like, hey, can you generate me an image of Hercules? And you're like, why does my Hercules have a. Have a mermaid tail on it?
Ben
Yeah, she's an idiot AI so she's like, flirting with Billy and stuff. And the workout guy, David's like, what is this? What is all this? Baby, baby. What are you guys, like, official? What do we got going on here? Come on. And Bill. Kelsey, like Bill, you want to answer that?
Ashley
Would you call us official?
Aaliyah
He's like, of course.
Ashley
Say it with integrity, baby.
Michelle
He's like, yeah, yeah, definitely. So they basically are official. And Kelsey's saying that, like, loyalty is a really big thing for her, which is of course why she was in a relationship with a guy who had another wife. But.
Ben
And you were just running around with Bill while you were with that guy.
Michelle
But loyalty.
Ben
Talking about, we just saw you with two boyfriends at the same time last week. What are you talking about? Loyalty? So important.
Michelle
I Want to make sure that when you put your foot in a garbage can, it's only in your garbage can.
Ben
She's crazy.
Michelle
So she said, like, for the last. In the last relationship. She was in it for 10 years. So she really tested Bill, and he passed with flying colors. And then they're like, what? How? She's like, he was celibate, waiting for me for a year. I was like, lady, I have bad news for you. He was not celibate.
Ben
He was not celibate. At the very least, that guy was getting steam room blowjobs. At the very least, There was no way that that guy was celibate. Celibate. Nobody who looks like that is celibate for a year waiting for your ass. No. Knowing that you're with some guy for his money that's also fucking ten other people. No. No.
Michelle
Yeah. Yeah. Get out of here. So they're talking about.
Joellen
He.
Michelle
Bill really wants her to give up her attachments to the. To the ex. Like, the car and everything. And then this is when they talk about the health insurance. So this is when she talks about being in the car accident and finding out that she had a brain tumor and that's been removed. But, like, she has to get an MRI twice a year to make sure it doesn't grow back. And so health insurance is even more.
Ben
You know. Have you noticed how they're. How she's talking is just like talking about leaving a job. I can't leave. This is my health insurance.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
I had a brain tumor. I'm not leaving this company. Like, this company is, like, gonna keep me on part time. I'm staying. Okay.
Michelle
What the hell? I think what would be great for her if she actually got a job, and then she could try to pursue some health insurance. Hopefully she got the right type of job.
Aaliyah
Yeah.
Ben
I mean, I don't know where I stand on this. I think she has a decent point. And, like, if you're with somebody for 10 years, even if you weren't married, you're still with them for 10 years. So it's not crazy to keep taking some money from them. I think her thing is just. She's doing this whole, like, independent woman thing. Like, look at me. But she's still paying for everything. And I can get how Bill would maybe be annoyed by that, but she makes the point. She's like, so you want to take my car? He's like, it's not your car. She's like, but it's the car I'm driving. Like, what are you gonna put me in, you know.
Michelle
Yeah.
Ben
That's her only thinking is like, well, what are you gonna get me instead? And, you know.
Michelle
Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just think I. I think that she should aspire for. I. She's giving kind of like a complacency vibe. And I want to. Like, that's fine. Like, it's fine to transition, but, like, you should, like, try to. Try to get a job.
Ben
Okay, let me put it this way. Her lifestyle of just living off of other people because she's hot, I think that's not something new in the world. Right. Men and women both do it.
Joellen
It.
Ben
And I don't think it's like, an invalid way. Like, it's a lifestyle. People do it, and I accept it, but I don't respect it.
Michelle
That's all fine. That's all fine. But, like, weird.
Ben
It's weird behavior. But, like, you want me to get rid of a car? Then what are you gonna get me? Get a life.
Michelle
Kelsey and I got a job. Get a job, you know, work at Audrey's. So now we go over to Providence, Rhode island, and Joellen calls Alicia. She's in her car, and Alicia's like,
Joellen
oh, my God, I was getting my hair done and my makeup done. Where are you?
Michelle
She's like, I'm driving right now, and I'm gonna actually go meet up with Liz.
Joellen
Oh, my God. She reached out to me, and I just. I need a break. Like, how'd this happen? I'm happy that you guys actually meet it up. But, like, what. What's going on?
Ben
Yeah. So they go meet up, and Joellen's like, I just. Here's what I want from today. I want to make things better, you know?
Aaliyah
And Liz is coming in with the same energy that I'm coming in with.
Ben
She owes me a big apology, but
Aaliyah
truly, I don't think she'll ever give it. Like, if Liz has something in the head, she thinks people against her, even when they love her. Even when they love her.
Michelle
So Joellen's like. They sit down and Joellen's shivering. She's like, thanks for meeting me. I'm so cold right now.
Joellen
Liz is like, oh, yeah, wow. Is it bad?
Ben
This is where Liz is clearly fucked up. There's something going on with Liz in this scene, and I was cracking up. She doesn't even know what she's.
Ashley
She's like, oh, yeah, you feel good. When you feel bad, you feel cold.
Ben
Her eyes start.
Michelle
Were they not allowed to film inside? Like, what was going on?
Ben
I don't know, because it starts raining on them, and they just sit out there.
Michelle
Yeah, well, it's raining, and Joanne's like, oh, my God, it's like, raining. So, Liz, they both want an apology, and they both don't think they're actually going to get an apology, but they're going to hope for something.
Joellen
So Liz is like, all right, I have no desire to fight with you. None. What I'm not going to do right, though, is go back to homeless things. Explain it. But I took offense to you positioning yourself as a peacemaker in that ride. Like, wouldn't you think a mediator say something along the lines of, hey, Alicia, you know what? You know how hard where heart is. You know that, like, you know what she meant, what she didn't mean by it, you know, like, rather than, oh,
Michelle
your feelings are justified, and no one
Joellen
else can take that away. Which is true, by the way. I wouldn't take that away from her.
Ben
So. But you were going at her heart, you know, and you were stepping on your own. Your own toes, you know, with the things you were saying.
Joellen
Oh, I was stepping on toes. Oh, so now that's assault. You're saying I'm physically assaulting people.
Aaliyah
She's like, I don't know what the phrase is. I don't know. But you were just mean.
Ben
Okay, I'm just saying, you were mean.
Aaliyah
She's like, oh, really?
Ashley
Well, I think this part of you that likes to escalate, let's be honest, you don't try to make anything better ever.
Aaliyah
Liz, all you had to do was
Ben
say, okay, I get what you're saying. You weren't technically homeless, but I get how you would feel that. That way. That's it. Why do you have to say, like, I'm sorry, and then keep walking away going, I said I'm sorry. She was never homeless. Like, oh, my God.
Michelle
Or. Or say, hey, Alicia, I think a better word for you to use would be displace or this or that, whatever. But, like, she would say, this is coming from a place of love, but just so you know, you're gonna get. You're gonna get, like, raked over the coals for this. Stop saying homeless. You should use this word instead, because you're gonna. People are gonna think you're saying this, whatever, like, but she just, like, she's not handling it well either.
Alicia
And I get it.
Michelle
I sort of get Liz being like, you know, if you're gonna be a mediator, like, also st. Like, you know, Cause, like, advocate for me being like, I wasn't trying to be mean. I was just trying to correct her. So Joellen's like, why are you so cruel to me? Like, what did I do to you? Like, what did I do to you? What did I do to you that night? What did I do to you in the past? Why are you so mean? I've been nothing but a good friend to you.
Joellen
I look at you as one of my best friends.
Michelle
We're best friends of all time.
Ashley
Stop saying we're best friends. We are not best friends. We were never best friends. Never been?
Michelle
No. When my grandfather was dying, she was my first phone call.
Joellen
She's one of my best friends.
Michelle
And to hear that she's not, like, doesn't think the same way of me is, like, really heartbreaking and gut wrenching.
Joellen
It's actually disgusting.
Michelle
It's really hurtful.
Ben
You know what?
Ashley
I'm real and you're fucking fake.
Michelle
No, I. It's. It's not real. It's cruel.
Joellen
It's mean. You know what?
Michelle
You pulled my hair. Did you kick my chair? Were you aggressive towards me?
Ashley
I pulled your hair. I kicked your chair, darling. I pulled your hair and kicked his ear.
Michelle
Yeah, I remember you tugged it. I remember you kicking me in my chair.
Joellen
Oh, yeah. Oh, you remember I tugged your hair? You're a freak. I pulled your hair. You're a fucking devil. I didn't pull your hair, and you know it.
Ben
So see, she's like, what you're doing is now you're trying to make it look like I'm physically abusing you, and I did not do these things. And Jo Ellen's like, you did. You pulled my hair and you kicked my chair.
Alicia
And then you put me into a hospital for getting boobs.
Michelle
Okay, there's something so fucked up about you, you know?
Joellen
Well, why is it me that's fucked
Michelle
when you're the one who's fucking kicking me?
Joellen
Huh? It's like, I don't need to be here with someone. Someone attacking me, attacking my character. It's kind of getting late. I think I gotta go.
Ben
And she tells us, you know, the
Ashley
minute she said I put my hands on her, I knew. I fucking knew right there, right when I hear to reconcile, we're here to do battle. And I couldn't take it, you know, I just. I did not put my hands on her in any kind of way, except maybe just to get her chair away
Michelle
from her, maybe that.
Ben
There's a difference. There's a difference.
Joellen
You know, I'm trying to get past this.
Michelle
After her with all the things that
Joellen
she said to me after the way you treated me. And I'm trying to move past this. I don't want to fight with Liz. Like I care about Liz.
Michelle
It's just. It's so embarrassing to know somebody that you care about doesn't care about you the same way.
Ben
And Liz is parked right on the street and gets in her car and passes and rolls down her window and is like, fuck you. She rolls down her inner she piece of shit. She drives.
Michelle
So that's where it leaves off. Wow, an exciting episode. All right, well, now we're all caught up on all those shows. Thank you all for being here for this Rhode island episode. And we'll catch you on our next episode of Watch Watch Crappins.
Ben
Yes. Thank you, Aaliyah.
Michelle
Thanks, Aaliyah. Bye, everyone. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Ben
Our way is the Amber way.
Michelle
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
Ben
Get on the right foot with Chrissy offered She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gautier.
Michelle
Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no Tricolus. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less
Ben
namey Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout.
Michelle
It's Katie Manock, she's our favorite streamer.
Ben
Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
Michelle
This is living with Michelle Vivian.
Ben
I love Aya. Olivia Williamson.
Michelle
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Ben
Yes we can. It's Savannah.
Michelle
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Ben
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors, she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10
Michelle
cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the
Ben
gold with Brenda Silva.
Michelle
Let's get real with Caitlin o'.
Joellen
Neal.
Ben
Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
Michelle
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish in the It's Jen Plish.
Ben
Have a kebab with K. Rob.
Michelle
My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. Let's get Savage with Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthie. Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.
Ben
The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sharrous. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.
Michelle
She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
Ben
We cannot tell a lie.
Michelle
It's Sarah Tell of son Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing Strike a pose.
Ben
It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys.
Kat and Nat
This is Kat and Nat from Catnat Unfiltered and this episode is sponsored by Michael's, your destination for all things birthday parties. If you've ever planned a birthday celebration, you know it goes from cute idea to full on chaos real fast. The party shop at Michael's makes life easier with over 4,500 party supplies in the 60 plus themes like Bluey rodeo, soccer, rainbow and more. Starting at just 99 cents. You can shop same day delivery or order online for pickup in store. And they even do free helium inflation on select balloon styles. Michaels everything. To celebrate anything, visit Michael's in store or shop online.
Boost Mobile Announcer 2
Now here's how to stay alive longer so you can enjoy Boost Mobile's unlimited plan with a price that never goes up. Do not mistake a wasp nest for a pinata. Stay alive and switch now at boost mobile after 30 gigs, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Mobile unlimited plan.
Ad Host 1
Hey there, it's Wayfair here where delivery and setup are as easy as a few taps on your phone. You're relaxing in an old hammock scrolling Wayfair's app when you spot it. A brand new patio set. Next thing you know, Wayfair delivers it right to your patio and sets it up. Oh, you need a new grill too. Alright, Wayfair's got you covered. With Wayfair's room of choice delivery and fast expert setup on qualifying orders, life gets a little easier. Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app.
Michelle
Wayfair Every style, Every home.
Podcast Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Episode Date: June 1, 2026
The hosts dive into Real Housewives of Rhode Island (RHORI) Season 1, Episode 10, Part Two, focusing on the evolving and often absurd webs of drama, alliances, and betrayals among the cast. This episode zeroes in on the “Homeless Not Truthless” debacle, ongoing family and friendship feuds, and the eternal struggle of bad coffee shop business models. Mandelker and Karam balance biting satire with earnest observations about class, authenticity, and the Bravo universe.
[03:12–05:47] Alicia’s family celebrates her daughter Selena’s big dance win.
[07:07] The family recounts Alicia’s claim of being left “homeless,” triggering a chorus of aunts validating the homeless label:
[08:00–08:59] Alicia and her mother allege emotional abuse from Liz, Alicia’s ex-BFF.
Michelle notes this “abusive” accusation will explode at the reunion.
Michelle: “If you say that someone’s abusive...this is gonna be an issue.” [08:08]
[09:22] Tangent: Are Disney princesses fair role models?
[13:05] Dolores, Liz, and Kelsey gather; Joellen’s text is dissected. Debate: Did Joellen support Alicia too much in the “homeless” feud?
[14:36] Liz claims: “They call me the scary one, but I truly believe Joellen is capable of anything.” [15:34]
Michelle critiques the cavernous, mall-adjacent space: “It’s too big for a coffee shop...not cozy or chic.”
Both mock Audrey's for serving neon blue cocktails and outdated Italian syrup bottles.
Michelle: “You cannot, you're not odd. If Audrey's becomes, like, super successful, maybe you can bring that in. Starbucks couldn't even do this.” [26:58]
Ben: “The point is, Audrey sucks.” [31:45]
Michelle: “Burn it down for sure.” [34:52]
| Time | Segment | Summary | |-----------|----------------------------------------------|-------------| | 02:21 | Gymnastics w/ Narula & Lila | Family energy, foam pit jokes | | 03:12 | Twin Oaks Restaurant / Mob Jokes | Family nostalgia, Rhode Island pride & mob talk | | 07:07 | “Homeless” Feud | Rehashing Alicia’s life story, all aunts weigh in | | 08:00 | Alicia vs Liz | “Abusive” claims, foreshadowed reunion drama | | 13:05 | Wickford Sit-Down | Trust, authenticity, and Joellen’s role | | 17:20 | Messenger Curse Discussion | Reality show feuds, authenticity as ultimate crime | | 24:59 | Audrey’s Coffee Shop Roast | Why Audrey’s business model is doomed | | 35:23 | Kelsey & Joellen Art Day | Diplomacy, fear of Liz, art surprises | | 51:13 | Liz & Joellen Final Showdown | Heated accusations, dissolving friendship, dramatic exit |
Snarky, irreverent, and insightful; both hosts oscillate quickly between biting wit (“burn it down, Audrey’s!”), pop culture tangents (Disney princesses, bread as body types), and moments of genuine psychological observation on Bravo reality dynamics.
You love Bravo’s unique brand of messy, cyclical drama, enjoy deep dives into reality TV social psychology, or simply want to laugh at the expense of doomed RI coffee shops and ridiculous friendship feuds.
For further episodes and bonus content, support at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.