#3395 The Valley S3E10 Part One: Monsters and Critics

Summary

Watch What Crappens #3395: The Valley S3E10 Part One: Monsters and Critics — Recap & Summary

Main Theme / Purpose

Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam bring their signature humor and shade to dissecting The Valley, Season 3, Episode 10: "Red Flags and White Claws." This episode kicks off with a deep dive into the cast’s evolving dynamics—especially the monstrous (literally!) emotional connections, messy marriages, and Bravo-style event planning disasters. Through witty banter, tangents about gay subtypes, and pointed pop culture analogies, Ben and Ronnie explore authenticity, taste, and Bravo’s relentless mess.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

A. Opening Banter and “Cabaret Debrief”

• Ben and Ronnie thank their audience for supporting their cabaret debut, "Forbidden Housewives" ([02:16]).
• They chat about recent performances, outfits (“matchy” summer vibes), and how their audience’s support improved the on-stage experience.
  • “You guys were a great audience. You made us feel so comfortable...even when we were goofing. It made the goofs all the more fun.” – Ben ([02:35])
• Reminder: Live show streams are available for a limited time, not archived on their feed ([03:08]).

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B. The Saga of Zach’s Monster Fridge & Taste Levels

• Zach’s emotional reaction to a stolen Monster Energy Drink fridge becomes the defining metaphor for the episode’s discussion of gay subcategories and taste.
  • “Some gays, we're like, that's…that's not taste gays.” – Ben ([05:53])
  • Ronnie wonders aloud: “Is that a big refrigerator?...What kind of gay is that?” ([03:34])
  • Ben identifies as a “scarcity gay”: “If I received something for free, it was…displayed prominently and part of my identity.” ([04:14])
• They riff on categories of gay identity—“taste gays,” “scarcity gays,” “standards gays”—comparing personal histories of holding onto free swag.
• Notable quote: “The monster fridge was objectively hideous. That’s like crying over an affliction T-shirt that you had draped over a sofa.” – Ben ([07:10])
• Ronnie muses: “We’re really categorizing ourselves all week. It’s a week of self-discovery for sure.” ([13:39])

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C. The “Britney Curse” in Pop Culture

• The hosts joke about the bad trajectory of Britneys in pop culture—Britney Spears, Britney Murphy, etc. ([09:39])
  • “Britneys have a tough go at it in pop culture…Tell me a Britney in pop culture who’s winning?” – Ben ([09:49])
  • “Britney's really don't win in pop culture. You're right.” – Ronnie ([09:52])
• Internal show joke about their producer “Edie” dodging the Britney name ([10:54]).

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D. Fitness, Masculinity, and CrossFit: Another “Gay Subtype” File

• Luke and Zach’s CrossFit scene sparks debate: Is CrossFit gay or straight-coded? Ronnie claims it’s a “big gay thing,” Ben calls it straight ([12:16]).
  • Ronnie: “Listen, any workout where they give you giant ropes and tell you to do this…come on.” ([12:49])
  • Ben: “CrossFit is gonna go more on the straight side of the wavelength.” ([13:02])
• The evolving, tongue-in-cheek taxonomy continues:
  • “When can we stop being a type of gay and just be a type of person?” – Ronnie ([13:52])
  • Ben: “Never. I'm a categorization gay.” ([13:56])

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E. Comparing Valley Marriages: Jason & Janet vs. Danny & Nia

• Jason is cranky and mean post-surgery, which prompts a debate about their marriage’s “perfection” veneer ([16:50]).
  • Ronnie: “What is this marriage like? Because…they pretend their marriage is perfect, Danny and Nia, and…Janet and Jason [too].”
  • Ben disagrees that Jason’s anesthesia-fueled attitude reveals cracks; instead, he credits Janet’s handling ([18:03]).
  • Ronnie pushes: “Isn’t this a sign they keep all their problems behind closed doors?” ([19:05])
• They note the thematic Bravo trend of couples trying to project perfection while hiding messes ([20:03]).

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F. Event Planning Disaster: Why Is Britney in Charge?

• At Jasmine and Melissa’s, wedding invitation drama leads to skepticism about Britney planning their party ([21:19]):
  • Ronnie: “Who in the world has ever said that? ‘We know this is going to be super classy, because Britney's planning it.’”
  • Ben: “She has the Monster fridge of party planning.” ([23:32])
• The hosts discuss better candidates for party-planning (Janet vs. Britney), and why Britney’s post-surgery state makes her the wrong choice:
  • Ben: “If it’s fine, get your surgery. But then don’t also be like, 'I’m gonna throw you the party.' I would want my party planner to be up and at ’em.” ([24:19])

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G. Zach’s Emotional Arc: Grieving a Monster (Fridge)

• Zach’s upset after losing the Monster fridge gets recapped with mock solemnity: “It’s like they show a black and white, it’s like a tribute almost…” ([28:31])
  • “That's Zach's big emotional arc. Because we really haven't seen any emotion from Zach until now. And it's over a monster fridge.” – Ronnie ([28:53])
  • They note the oddity that Zach is more upset about the fridge than a stolen TV ([29:24]).

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H. Nia, Michelle, and the Santa Clarita Realness

• Nia and Michelle meet at Cafe Shira; Nia blames her husband’s behavior and location for her struggles ([35:21]):
  • “If she made me wait for an hour and then started defending her husband, the only answer I would have for her is ‘Santa Clarita.’ ” – Ronnie ([35:57])
  • Ben explains LA traffic and frames production’s decisions as a subtle dig at Nia ([36:03]).
• Michelle stoically avoids agreeing with Nia’s rationalizations for Danny’s bad behavior—and the hosts give her credit for not enabling ([45:11]).

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I. The “Double Standard” of Bad Behavior: Nia’s Excuses for Danny

• Nia argues there’s a group double standard where Danny gets more criticism for drinking/behavior than others. Ben & Ronnie call her out for deflecting, noting that other cast members don’t excuse bad behavior ([38:30]).
  • “It’s about his behavior, not his drunkenness.” – Ronnie ([40:04])
  • Ben: “Do you want to drive a car whose brakes work only 90% of the time?” ([40:48])
• The “Dark Side Danny” nickname and analogy: “The fact that there’s even a name…means it happens enough…That’s not acceptable.” – Ben ([42:44])
• Nia’s enabling gets torched:
  • “She married a piece of shit. So let’s all tune in—what’s she going to do?” – Ronnie ([35:21])
  • “Enough. Put your trad wife dress away and go back…” – Ben ([44:47])

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J. Britney’s Mommy Makeover Recovery: Pills, Partners, and Ball Sacks

• Britney is frustrated after her boyfriend Brandon fails to pick up her post-surgery pain pills ([45:37]):
  • “The only thing that I had asked for Brandon to do was to make sure that he picked up my pain medication…He waited until it was too late.” – Britney, quoted by Ben ([46:16])
  • Ronnie: “I knew…from cargo, like, dirty cargo pants and a T-shirt, that this man was no good.”
• The duo mock Brandon’s laziness and weird Paso Robles pronunciation ([47:46]).
• Notable moment: Britney shows off her lipo “ball sacks” full of drainage fluid—Ben and Ronnie riff on gross-out details and Brandon’s lack of helpfulness ([49:02]):
  • “I wouldn't trust this man with my ball sacks.” – Ronnie ([49:51])
  • “If he does not take care of those lipo-filled sacks…he’s out of here.” – Ben ([49:33])

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Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “If I received something for free, it was…displayed prominently and part of my identity.” – Ben ([04:14])
• “Some gays, we’re like, that’s…that’s not taste gays.” – Ben ([05:53])
• “Britney's really don't win in pop culture. You're right.” – Ronnie ([09:52])
• “We’re really categorizing ourselves all week. It’s a week of self-discovery for sure.” – Ronnie ([13:39])
• “The monster fridge was objectively hideous. That’s like crying over an affliction T-shirt that you had draped over a sofa.” – Ben ([07:10])
• “Who in the world has ever said that? ‘We know this is going to be super classy, because Britney's planning it.’” – Ronnie ([23:15])
• “That's Zach's big emotional arc. Because we really haven't seen any emotion from Zach until now. And it's over a monster fridge.” – Ronnie ([28:53])
• “If she made me wait for an hour and then started defending her husband, the only answer I would have for her is ‘Santa Clarita.’ ” – Ronnie ([35:57])
• “Do you want to drive a car whose brakes work only 90% of the time?” – Ben ([40:48])
• “I wouldn't trust this man with my ball sacks.” – Ronnie ([49:51])

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:18] Cabaret show & audience shout-outs
• [03:23] Episode theme intro (“The Valley”)
• [04:14] Zach’s Monster fridge metaphor & “scarcity gays” discussion
• [07:10 to 07:41] Taste, standards, and growing up gay in relation to swag
• [09:39] “Britney curse” & pop culture riff
• [12:16 to 13:39] CrossFit, masculinity, and gay categorization
• [16:42 to 19:55] Jason & Janet’s marriage, authenticity, and anesthesia
• [21:19 to 25:45] Event planning, Britney v. Janet, and wedding disasters
• [27:44 to 29:44] Zach grieves the fridge
• [35:21 to 38:30] Nia and Michelle at Cafe Shira: Santa Clarita & divorce
• [38:30 to 44:47] Nia’s enabling, group double standards, and “Dark Side Danny”
• [45:37 to 50:07] Britney’s mommy makeover, Brandon fails, and lipo ball sacks comedy

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Recap Tone and Style

True to Watch What Crappens tradition, Ben and Ronnie maintain a playful, snarky, self-referential, and conspiratorial tone, mixing in sharp pop culture analysis, self-deprecating insights about gayness, and cathartic laughter at Bravo's messiest personalities. Their (loving) ridicule pierces through the manufactured gloss of Bravo reality to find the universally relatable mess underlying every drink, marriage, and event-planning mishap.

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For Next Time…

Episode concludes with a note: “Congratulations, you’ve reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.” ([50:12])

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Summary prepared by Watch What Crappens Recap Assistant

Transcript

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[Ben]

I sold my car in Carvana last night.

[Brooke Devard]

Well, that's cool.

[Ben]

No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong.

[Brooke Devard]

So what's the problem?

[Ben]

That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch.

[Brooke Devard]

Maybe there's no catch.

[Ben]

That's exactly what a catch would want me to think.

[Brooke Devard]

Wow. You need to relax.

[Ben]

I need a knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood?

[Brooke Devard]

I think it's laminate.

[Ben]

Okay. Yeah, that's good. That's close enough.

[Brooke Devard]

Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on pick up. These may apply.

[Ben]

Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

[Ben]

Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

[Ronnie]

Good, how are you?

[Ben]

Oh, I'm just fabulous. What's new in your life? Anything interesting happened in the past 24 hours?

[Ronnie]

No. Nothing at all.

[Ben]

No.

[Ronnie]

Normal, normal times.

[Ben]

Just another day in New York City.

[Ronnie]

I realized I did save my white. My white jean pants for the wrong day. It should have been summer house.

[Ben]

Well, we're still talking about Southern hospitality later, which is true, you know, it's all good. And I'm actually wearing a very summer house.

[Ronnie]

Oh, actually, I opened Southern Hospitality Notes. I guess I' wrong page today I'm

[Ben]

wearing a like, I'm wearing a J. Crew. You can't really see it on camera. It's like a green and white sort of like seafoam and white kind of shirt. It's very.

[Ronnie]

We are pretty matchy today. Yeah, we are.

[Ben]

We're summer and we're breezy here in the city. A huge massive thank you to everyone who came to our cabaret last night, the debut of Forbidden Housewives.

[Ronnie]

It was so fun.

[Ben]

So fun it all. You guys were a great audience. You made us feel so comfortable upstate on stage there, even when we were goofing. It made the goofs all the more fun. Like, we were just laughing all the way through that entire show.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's a good time. So thanks, everybody, for coming. We have two more on Friday. You can stream them both, and once you buy the tickets, they're only available till showtime. Once you buy them, you can watch them for a whole week. So get [e-mail] or Instagram. Lincoln Bio. Yeah, there's like a big chat room and party in there that was going on. It was really fun, too. So go do it.

[Ben]

Yeah, once it's done, it's done. We're not recording it. It's not going on our feed. It's. It's a once once.

[Ronnie]

We might sell it somewhere else, like on our Patreon or something, but.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But, like, it's not going on our.

[Ronnie]

But this, like, the live stream is. Is available for a week. It's not going to be, like, a free episode or whatever.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So welcome to the show. Today is the Valley. Oh, my God. Somebody stole my monster refrigerator.

[Ben]

I know.

[Ronnie]

I thought, is that a big refrigerator? He literally had a monster branded. You know, Zach, I sometimes wonder, what kind of gay is that? Like, where is it a generational gay? Is this like a new kind of Zach?

[Ben]

No, Zach and I are very similar. Like, Zach and I.

[Ronnie]

You would have a monster.

[Ben]

No, No.

[Ronnie]

I would not have a drink fridge in your house that you cry over and a denim suit with diamonds all over it.

[Ben]

No, it's not so much that I would never have that fridge, first and foremost. But I think the reason why I say Zach and I are very much the same type of gay is that if I were. If I received. I think especially at his age, although I guess he's, like, in his mid-30s now, but especially, like, when I was like. Like, probably like, 28, 31, whenever, if I received something for free, it was, like, in my apartment and displayed prominently and part of my identity. So it's like, oh, he got, like, a free monster fridge. Which.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah, I got this.

[Ben]

I'm like, well, I got it.

[Ronnie]

I know the people at Monster.

[Ben]

No, it wouldn't. It wouldn't even be a flex. It'll just be like, I got this free thing, and isn't it cool I got something for free? I'm. I'm having it. I'm using it. Like, and this is my thing. Like, I'm so proud I got this free thing. Like, it was like an accomplishment that I somehow got something for free. And so I totally get that. I mean, the amount of random, like, branded tchotchkes I got, you know, when I was younger that were not. Yeah. Or even just like B side blog that were not even. They weren't monster energy drink. Because I honestly, I like hate energy drinks, but so I would never like,

[Ronnie]

I just stick with cocaine.

[Ben]

See? Coffee. Coffee. No, I just don't like the flavors. All very fruity. Like Red Bull makes me like. I just don't like the smell, you know, like weird with like, fruity smells.

[Ronnie]

Well, also, all you need is one drunken night on Red Bull vodkas and barfing that up to never want to drink.

[Ben]

Yeah, like, I think it's like, I think it's really gross anyway.

[Ronnie]

Sure. You know where I'm coming from, Danny.

[Ben]

Like, I've gone to like, how many times? Like I, I, I went to like E3 several times. And you always come back with all these stupid, like, video game chachkes. And like I got some stupid poster and I put it in a frame. I was like, I got a free poster. So I framed it. You know, it's like so like Zach and I are like, I don't know, I guess maybe we're like scarcity gays where it's like, oh, I got something for, for free. Gotta hold on to it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I mean, I can see that, you know? Yeah, I can see that.

[Ben]

They were not taste gays.

[Ronnie]

Not taste gays. Okay.

[Ben]

Yeah, some gays were like, that's, that's,

[Ronnie]

that's kind of what I was getting at. But I didn't. When you said I'm a gay, like Zach, I didn't want to say, like, tasteless. No. Or trash.

[Ben]

No.

[Ronnie]

Like there's some garbage, you know, or anything like that.

[Ben]

I think most gays, I think the majority of, you know, gays were not monolith, but I would say a large number of us can see items like you like. But your house, for instance, your house in la, both houses, but especially one in la is just like so well appointed. Such a, like, great eye for design. And like, I am not a taste gay. I used to say I'm not a fashion gay, but I think I, I think it may just not be a taste gay in general. Because I would be like, oh, you know, it'd be great. Right here would be like my tote bag from Orbitz or something like that, you know, and hanging it, it's like not everything, you know, not everything needs to be like swag.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I mean, I can see that. You know, But I was like, wow, this is, this is not Your typical gay, like crying over a monster fridge and then wearing that denim. I mean, I guess you would think the denim suit with the diamonds all over it would be gay. You know, it's like a. I will say, but it's more like an old Maxine and, you know, in the Burbank Mall.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Kind of thing.

[Ben]

The crying.

[Ronnie]

Love the guy.

[Ben]

The monster fridge was objectively hideous. And the thing is, it's like, that's like crying over, like an affliction T shirt that you had, like, draped over a sofa. It's like, really? That's the thing you're gonna cry over? Like, it's just even. I as not really being a taste gay would really just never have any, like, energy drink sort of logos in my apartment. And I do. I am happy that now, as I've gotten older, I think I've become a standards gay. And I just feel like I have to have a certain standard. So, like, I may not totally know how to put things together, but have a certain standard of what I want.

[Ronnie]

You know, like, in general, like, with, like, taste. What do you mean standard?

[Ben]

Like, well, meaning, like, I think that, like. No, meaning that like, like, if you are going to get something for free and display it, it has to be of a certain standard.

[Ronnie]

Like, it can't be that could be on your Instagram.

[Ben]

It can't be.

[Ronnie]

Who knows when you'll be doing content you'll be giving free to monster.

[Ben]

Yeah, it would have to be like, something cute and like, like, we're recording right now in Soho when. And everything around here is so bougie and cute and so, like, if it was like a brand I saw downstairs, I'd be like, that could be the fridge. I'll do a J. Crew fridge. I'll do a. I love that.

[Ronnie]

That's your idea of Fant. J. Crew.

[Ben]

I would have their fridge. Well, compared to monster.

[Ronnie]

I mean, compared to monster. Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so that was that. Let's get into it. So. The Valley Season 3 Episode 10 Red Flags and White Claws Still a big medical episode. We've got what's his buns and his knee.

[Ben]

Jason knee. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Super exciting stuff.

[Ben]

Wounded knee.

[Ronnie]

It's er. If ER was just pronounced, It's er. Dot, dot, dot.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

Capital E, small R dot, dot.

[Ben]

And then Luke and Zach and Brittany

[Ronnie]

getting her mommy makeover everything. Makeover. My friend hadn't seen the show. My best friend was spending the night last night and she has never seen this show. So she watched Vanderpump Rules and she was like, who Is that so? What do you mean, who is it? That's Britney. I said, yeah. She goes, what happened to Britney? I said, a lot, a lot, a lot has happened to Brittany. Okay, sit down. Let me tell you a little story.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's been a journey. We see just clips of people doing things around town.

[Ronnie]

It's just not a compliment like, who do you want? You walk into a place like, that's Ronnie. What happened to Ronnie?

[Ben]

You know, Britneys have a tough go at it in pop culture. I think across the board. If we were to look at all the Britneys that we know in pop culture, it has not been great for them. I'm gonna say I think. Tell me a Britney in pop culture. Brittany.

[Ronnie]

Britney's really don't win in pop culture. You're right. Brittany Murphy. A ghost killed her in her house. Yeah, Britney. Regular Britney. God knows she's back in the. She's back in the some somewhere now. Oh, dui.

[Ben]

She's had a dui. And then we have this Britney. We have Britney Bateman.

[Ronnie]

Britney Bateman.

[Ben]

Britney Snow just even had a. Had something bad happen, right? Like, didn't Britney Snow just have something bad happen? Like a bad headline for her like a week ago.

[Ronnie]

Which one's Britney Snow?

[Ben]

She was in Pitch Perfect.

[Ronnie]

I love that movie.

[Ben]

The first one, Britney Snow was in the news because I had to specify

[Ronnie]

the first one because I tried with that.

[Ben]

That the other one I think Britney Snow was in. Am I just dragging her into this mess.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, with Britney Snow. I don't know. I didn't hear anything about it.

[Ben]

I thought there was a headline. If I could have sworn I saw Brittany. So had. Like, there's also Britney. There's another Britney out there that's not. Think something bad happened to her. So. Yeah, it's rough.

[Ronnie]

It's not a good name to have.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So sorry, Brittany. Sorry to our producer Brittany today. Just kidding.

[Ben]

Culture.

[Ronnie]

Her name's.

[Ben]

Yeah, her name's Edie. Waving. She's waving it. We've had, by the way, so many producers this week. It's been very exciting.

[Ronnie]

Edie, are. Is there anybody named Brittany who works here?

[Ben]

Yes, there is.

[Ronnie]

Is she a mess?

[Ben]

No, she's awesome, actually. But she's not on pop.

[Ronnie]

Does she have a lot of tragedy happen in her life? See?

[Ben]

See?

[Ronnie]

Called it. She doesn't listen to this. Like, Whitney, that was enough. You gave us enough. We were right. That's all we needed to know.

[Ben]

Well, by the way, Britney Snow had a highly publicized divorce two years ago from television star.

[Ronnie]

So who is the television star?

[Ben]

I guess someone from selling the O.C.

[Ronnie]

oh, God. Well, you get what you deserve if you marry somebody from selling the O.C. i mean, what do you expect?

[Ben]

Seriously? Seriously.

[Ronnie]

So, okay, so Luke and Zach are working out. Ew. I want another thing. My friend said watching this show, she goes, ew, who's that? I said, his name is Luke. She goes, oh, Kristen married that guy. Look, when she saw that he was with Kristen, she said, oh, why did she do that?

[Ben]

Why does he have two ears? It's not Van Gogh.

[Ronnie]

So Luke is working out with Zach, and they're doing. And here's another. Wait, what kind of gay is Zach? I just had this big. What kind of gay is Zach Knight? Because they're at CrossFit, and Zach's like, what is this? Why would you bring me to a straight workout? CrossFit is the gayest workout you can do. I. That's where you see gays lifting tires over their head and throwing them at other gays.

[Ben]

No, I think. I think CrossFit's still a pretty straight thing. I think those. I think those are gays who are visiting straight worlds in that. In that point.

[Ronnie]

No, I've seen a lot of big unsheathed wieners at the CrossFit. I mean, I've lived in West Hollywood, too, so maybe that's why. But there was a little. I mean, there were girls there. Well, maybe they were gay, man. I don't know. But there were. That's a big gay thing.

[Ben]

I mean, there's definitely. I know a lot of gay.

[Ronnie]

Listen, any. Any workout where they give you giant ropes and tell you to do this, like, jump rope is. Come on.

[Ben]

Yeah. I don't know. I still think the CrossFit is gonna, like, still. It's gonna go more on the straight side of. The straight side of the wavelength.

[Ronnie]

Listen, I'm a workout queen. Yeah, so are you. We're both wearing one. The one kind of gay we are in queen.

[Ben]

And I'm gonna say, no kidding.

[Ronnie]

You. What? My working out is telling you, you're wrong. No, but I think it is kind of gay. But you know what? That's. That's a gay. I never got into the working out thing. And last night, you know, looking at little clips here and there of the. Of the show.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

My arms just flapping like I've got a flag that I'm waving at people.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

I'm sorry. I don't like lifting things. I don't like.

[Ben]

We're learning all sorts of things. We've learned this week that I'm not a chorus line gay. I'm only learning the.

[Ronnie]

The.

[Ben]

The musical this week.

[Ronnie]

We're really re categorizing ourselves all week. It's a. It's a week of self discovery for sure.

[Ben]

Yeah, we're just by the end of like going through all these filters of like, what sort of gay are you? Like, we're gonna finally have like a defined.

[Ronnie]

When can we stop being a type of game, Just be a type of person?

[Ben]

Never. That's like. No, no, I'm. I'm a categorization gay. So I'm gonna.

[Ronnie]

Me too. I need to label things and put them in my categories. That's how you know where they are. That's why, you know. And I say this all the time, but I don't believe in the saying, don't judge a book by its cover. We. You wouldn't read the book without a cover.

[Ben]

Yeah, I'm also like, I don't want to be a generalist, so I really need to have some specific. Actually, by the way.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I generalize. Yeah, I'm a generalist gay.

[Ben]

Well, I was going to say, by the way, shout out to Rolling Stone, who gave us out of nowhere, mentioned two days ago in an article about niche audiences, speaking of generalists. And they were talking about how people are really leaning into like being like, niche. So they said, you know, people are niche. Like, for instance, you know, look at reality TV fans. They're either. They're either listening to Watch Happens or. Or whatever else, but like, that Ben

[Ronnie]

is a blurb gay. Ben is really big. And Ben is a gay. He's turned on by blurbs.

[Ben]

But I'm also a never remembers things exactly gay. Like, I'm really bad at quoting things like whenever I'm around. Whenever. Whenever I'm around movie quoters, which are normally the straight people, let's be honest. I never. They're. They're always coming up with all these crazy quotes and I'm like, how do you remember all these specific quotes from movies? Or like, this is how we come to the office.

[Ronnie]

You'd look like a blood clot.

[Ben]

I know. We.

[Ronnie]

We're not movie quoter games.

[Ben]

No, I. Well, because those are like. I guess I have been quoting Jerry Maguire a lot lately.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, if you're. You're a movie quoting gay too.

[Ben]

But all those Jerry Maguire quotes were embedded in a popular song in 1997, which made it easy to learn those quotes. If they put more quotes into. Into songs, I'd be great. At it.

[Ronnie]

Request noted. I just wrote Elton. Okay. Elton John. Still writing all the pop music of our time. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Now we go to Jesse Lolly's house and he's with Isabella and Lacey. And I don't know if that's not

[Ben]

a pitch to watch this show. I mean, I know.

[Ronnie]

So they're. She has fruit roll up in her hair, which I totally get.

[Ben]

And origins of hair dents.

[Ronnie]

Jason is four hours post op. Oh, to Jason's knee hurt scene. So we get that. And he's being really bitchy to Janet. He's being a jerk to Janet and she doesn't like it. And the doctor warned her that after anesthesia people are kind of dicks for 24 hours. So she's going to let him be a dick for 24 hours. But that did get me to thinking, what is this marriage like? Because there's a lot going on right now on this show with like, oh, they pretend their marriage is perfect, Danny and Nia, and they don't want anybody to see the cracks in their marriage. But I think the marriage is really like that as well because Danny and Mia are definitely like that. But. But I think another marriage that's like that is Janet and Jason because you never see them argue, you never see them do anything. And Jason's always coming out like my wife is right, you know, and he's having that whole thing. So we see the perfect side of their marriage, but we see Jason like on anesthesia and, you know, we talk about all the time when your drunk personality comes out, that's still your personality. It's just less filtered. So when I see this side of Danny, I'm like, oh, okay, so this, this is the unfiltered side of Danny.

[Ben]

And that. I don't know. I didn't. I actually did not pick up. I did not get that vibe from this, believe it or not. Because you know why?

[Ronnie]

It wasn't a vibe. It was the literal. He was on anesthesia and being a dick.

[Ben]

I mean, yeah, I mean, he was. He was. He was being a dick. But, like, I did not feel like, oh, the. The facade has dropped in this marriage because Janet was like, okay, he's being a dick and he has one more day and then he can't be a dick anymore. And I felt like, she's got it.

[Ronnie]

I just thought it was. I'm not. I'm not saying their marriage sucks or anything. I'm just. It's just interesting because their dynamic is always like, so, you know, perfect.

[Ben]

I actually. So what's interesting to me is that I don't feel like they are trying to sell themselves as a perfect couple and everything is great. And I think the difference with Danny and Nia is not that Danny are trying to sell themselves as everything is great. Is that, like when someone says, like, nia, what's going on? She's like, oh, well, you know, he's tired. Oh, well, like, she's sort of always making these sort of sing song excuses. And what about everyone else? And I think if you were to say, hey, Janet, Jason's being a real dick, she's like, yeah, I know. I didn't. I didn't serve mashed potatoes last night as a result. I said, that's your punishment. Whatever she would say. But, like, I don't think I did not get a sense. And this is not me being any sort of janitor.

[Ronnie]

Stan, you've been a Janet apologist for 10 years.

[Ben]

But even if I. Even if I were, I just don't. I watch this. I'm like, I cannot put this on the same level of Danny.

[Ronnie]

And I'm not putting it on the same level. It's just the general, like, you're. You think you're a parent. You act that. You guys like, your act like your marriage is perfect and you guys, like, keep everything. You keep all your problems behind closed doors. I'm just saying there are signs that this is that way, too. Here's another sign. She served him a banana as a snack. A couple.

[Ben]

Is that he probably loved that. He's like a health person.

[Ronnie]

Disgusting. I just don't get to talk about carbs.

[Ben]

Counting carbs ever since he came onto the show. So he's probably like, banana Is a carb.

[Ronnie]

I know I say that as a

[Ben]

CrossFit gay, but he's like a hell. But, like, to him, that's like the banana. To me, a banana is a healthy snack. To him, it's like, oh, my God, why is she a feeder now? So I don't know. I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying.

[Ronnie]

Listen, it's just a little thing. I'm not, I'm not throwing any, like, any. I'm not throwing any swords at their relationship. I'm just saying

[Ben]

he's being a dick. And he was being.

[Ronnie]

I would like to see more of this. I like to see less of the people faking it. Like, that's why I like Danny, because everyone accuses them of being perfect. But you can see this whole time, no one's been like, wow, what a perfect marriage. We're like, oh, Jesus, he's forcing her to have more kids.

[Ben]

Kids.

[Ronnie]

Or she's forcing it so she can get the mommy. But whatever it is, it's like. And then even this one, they're talking about having, like, their 17th kid. Oh, this show's just so confusing to me in general.

[Ben]

So we go to Jasmine and Melissa.

[Ronnie]

I saw a woman the other day. I was at pizza with my parents, and there was a lady there. We were in Texas, and there was a lady there. Two ladies, but I think one was a sister. This lady had six children. And they were. When I tell you they were just running amok, because how can you control six kids? You can't. I mean, there were little, all of them little kids. It was like Danny and Neil, like, one after the other. And I just, I was, you know, I love kids. So I was like, that's so funny. And my mom's like, I'm gonna kill him. I'll kill him. You know, she's trying to trip him from her wheelchair. I'm like, mom. But I just gave a look to the lady, and she's like, oh, my

[Ben]

God, you guys, I'm so sorry.

[Ronnie]

She was, like, horrified. I was like, I know. Why do you do this? I just am. I did this. This was the look I gave her. But I hope my eyes said, why

[Ben]

are you doing this to yourself?

[Ronnie]

Sell them.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

You know, go on Craigslist. List them. Yeah, get them out of here.

[Ben]

It's too many. Yeah, I, I, I'm sick of children, to be honest. I don't. I think we can, we can cap them. So we're at Jasmine and Melissa's house, and Melissa is Very upset because the invitations for. Are messed up.

[Ronnie]

And I would know anything about that.

[Ben]

Were these the wedding invitations or the engagement party invitation? I'm assuming wedding invitations, I think.

[Ronnie]

I don't know. I don't know. I think it's just.

[Ben]

I think there was a stationary.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I think it's the wedding invitations. I did our programs for our show. They're all wrong. Completely wrong. 400 of wrong. So thank you.

[Ben]

Funny. So here, wait. There's three things. So it's. I'm not gonna let you take the full blame. So one of the things was, I told Ronnie. I was like, hey, let's make the back of the program look like a real playable with like these, like the dots, like, you know, going from it. And so I put like a temp thing in there. And I should have just, like, done it. I should put the temp thing in there. Like, okay, that's how it looks. Let me do it and get it final and put it in there. And that would be done. And whatever. I put the temp thing in there. And I was like, okay, I'll come back to this later. So I didn't come back to it later. And then you thought it was done because the file was. So you printed it. But the thing is that since it was a temp file, there are these little squiggles on it. Like the spelling.

[Ronnie]

Everybody. Like Garcelle spelled wrong.

[Ben]

You know, like the red line under our pianist. We. I spelled his name wrong on it.

[Ronnie]

It was just his name was. Did you respell his name?

[Ben]

I fixed it for the new one.

[Ronnie]

But didn't I put his name in there?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Did you change this?

[Ben]

I put his name in as Brandon James. And I remember, I was like, no, it's Brandon James. Gwynn. Oh, wine. And then I put in. I spelled it gwy, but it's gwi.

[Ronnie]

Well, anyway, I get it, but I just went with it, so I hope they don't reprint theirs. We spent 400. We're keeping it. So they're bummed about this and they're talking about their engagement party and how they know it's going to be super classy because Britney's planning it. What? Who in the world has ever said that?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Only in the Valley would they say, we know this is going to be super classy because Britney's planning it. I know.

[Ben]

It's gonna be like a dung tank.

[Ronnie]

Have you seen Brittany? Nothing on Britney is planned classily. Yeah, not a damn thing. Not even her flip flops.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

From her cuticle to the tip of her hair.

[Ben]

She would not.

[Ronnie]

She's not classic.

[Ben]

As a standard gay standards gay. I would say she's not who you're gonna go to. She has the monster fridge of party planning.

[Ronnie]

So Britney has just had a mommy makeover. So Jasmine's like, how's this gonna be an amazing party?

[Ben]

Which, by the way, also annoys me because it's like, why did you. Why did you take on the responsibility of doing this party? But also, you got a mommy makeover, so you're gonna be bedridden. Like. Like, I feel like that's like, don't. If it's fine, get your surgery. But then don't also be like, I'm gonna throw you the party. Because it's like, I would kind of want my party planner to be up and Adam a little bit. Like, that way we could, like, go check out things together. Like, I don't know. That stresses me out.

[Ronnie]

Well, when it's free, you don't. You don't get much other people that

[Ben]

could have just done it. Who? Anyone. Any.

[Ronnie]

Zach. Did you see his party?

[Ben]

No, not Zach. I know he's not a standards guy.

[Ronnie]

That's it. Who else would have done.

[Ben]

There could have been. What? Does Melissa not have friends? Why do we have. Where's Melissa's friends?

[Ronnie]

I don't know. I wonder about that too. Melissa's friends. I mean, I'm never in a relationship and I don't really wonder about relationships, but this show makes me wonder about relationships.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And it really reconfirms my decision to never be in a relationship.

[Ben]

I also, by the way, you know what? I'm going to push back on this idea of, like, well, if not Britney, then who? I mean, like, how does that. How is that a situation? Literally, Brittany should be the last choice.

[Ronnie]

I just mean, like, there's no one better. I don't mean like, wow, there's no one better than Brittany. I just mean there's like, literally no one that I would say, wow, they're more. They're classier.

[Ben]

Never. Nia. Because it'd be a trad wife carnival.

[Ronnie]

Yes, much. Yeah. It would be like your husband. It's like, well, this is a gay wedding. There is no husband here. Okay.

[Ben]

Believe it or not, I think actually Janet would be the right choice. Because Janet, I feel like, is the sort of person who would just get really anal about. About, like, party planning. Because she'd be wanting to do it to promote herself as being a good friend. And so she'd be so into showing how good of a friend she is. Especially while she's doing an apology tour that she would do an amazing party. I think you could really capitalize.

[Ronnie]

Look at, look Ben saying, Janet's a great party person. I'm telling you, I Janet T shirt. I think that face on a T shirt.

[Ben]

Honestly, if I'm going to choose a party plan by Britney vs Janet, I would use Janet. And then after Janet, it's like Zach and then there's Kristen.

[Ronnie]

Janet would bring Jared, though. She'd be like, oh my God, like Jared, my co host Jared. And he'd be like, hi, everybody, it's me, Jared. No, no, no, no.

[Ben]

Yeah, well, I mean, whatever. I mean, I think like, ultimately I would be a little annoyed if someone's like. If someone's like, I'm gonna throw this for you. I'm gonna throw this party for you. I'm gonna throw this party. Oh, by the way, I just got surgery and I'm bedridden. And I'd be like, well, yeah, but

[Ronnie]

nobody thinks it's gonna be as bad. When you plan that surgery. They tell you, oh, it's nothing, honey. Because they've done a million of them. Like when I got my, my upper bluff, like my eye fat or whatever cut, they were like, oh, you'll be fine in a week. And I planned a birthday, an out of town birthday party with all of my friends in Palm Springs. I mean, yeah, I was like, I'm gonna. Okay, fine. And this will be like, what, a month after this? I showed up there looking crazy. Two giant purple eyes. I didn't look fine for months. So you just keep planning shit. You know, you do. You don't care. And that's what Brittany did. And also, this is not Britney's first time at the rodeo. So I think she just remembered it as like, well, it wasn't so bad the last five times I did this, but it was.

[Ben]

Well, I hope that Jasmine and Melissa are excited about getting some Beauty and the Beast roses under bell jars.

[Ronnie]

Exactly. Wasn't it her who did that? Yeah, it was Britney, right?

[Ben]

It was for. It was, I think, for Britney's. Her party.

[Ronnie]

Yes.

[Ben]

It was her wedding, her engagement. I love beauty at the base.

[Ronnie]

We're getting married in the castle.

[Ben]

And for sales, Ripon rip.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, people. Bryson passed. Yeah. So sad. I saw him on the news that people in New York are so funny how they do the news. She's like, peo Bryson died. What a shame. Sounds like, okay, news lady, calm down, all right?

[Ben]

And then she said, I'll Off. Okay. Someone just. Tyson's got to tell Sue Simmons to calm down. So anyway, they're, they're. They're talking about this party and everything. And so then Zach calls and Zach is like, oh, my God. I'm just like so upset. Or they call Zach because he text. He's like, I'm really upset because I'm like dealing with getting my roommate out today. And like, I don't want to cry about it, but just like, he basically was like, he's like, was not even gonna tell me. And then just like took the monster fridge. And I'm like, dude, no. Like the number one. Like, where the are you gonna put that? Like, it's like your fiance is not gonna bless you. But anyway, he probably doesn't wanna. And like, like you. We all thought monster fridge. Like, I thought was like.

[Ronnie]

I thought it was like one of those big garage refrigerators just throw in from the Costco for years at a time.

[Ben]

Yeah. I thought it was some cool thing.

[Ronnie]

Bodies, whatever show.

[Ben]

It's like, like, it's like a six foot tall, slender fridge that you'd see it like a pizzeria or a deli that he has in his kitchen. Yeah. I just seem like they show like a black and white. It's like a tribute almost. It's like when. When Dog the Lizard died. It's like they show him like putting like pulling a drink bit. I was like this.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's Zach's big emotional arc. Because we really haven't seen any emotion from Zach until now. And it's over a monster fridge.

[Ben]

Yeah, he's like upset about this fridge. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And he goes, I mean, your fiance is not going to let you put that anywhere. So he just probably wants to sell it for profit.

[Ben]

Whereas it's my thing.

[Ronnie]

Like, I'm the monster fridge guy.

[Ben]

He's made me the monster. When he's taking the monster fridge, that's my thing. I'm like.

[Ronnie]

He's like, that's part of my personality. And he's just taking it to sell it.

[Ben]

You know, Zach, when. That's just funny when, when life closes the door on you, it also opens a fridge door for you instead. And that fridge is much better than a monster fridge. Please, like, let's move on, please. And then later on we find out that actually the roommate also took Zach's TV that Kristen bought him. I'm like, that you're not upset about the tv, but you're upset about the monster.

[Ronnie]

The TV is where you die.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

You touch my tv, you are dead in the ground.

[Ben]

Yeah. The TV is like, where you're getting tied to the bed, like, in seven, and you're being left there for a year. Seriously, you know?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So Jasmine's like, you know, cried out. Cry that. You know, get it out of your system. It's gonna be okay. I'll call you in a little bit.

[Ben]

She's like, rip to the monster fridge.

[Ronnie]

Really upset about that fridge.

[Ben]

So now Nia and Michelle go to Cafe Shira, which is. It's the cafe of power. Some would say

[Ronnie]

one letter away from. I could be on your show.

[Ben]

You know, I loved Shira when I was a kid. Loved it.

[Ronnie]

You did?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

I didn't really know Shira was she He Man's friend.

[Ben]

She was just like, he man for girls. I was a Shira gay.

[Ronnie]

I don't even think I was really a He man gay. I. A little he man doll.

[Ben]

He Man.

[Ronnie]

I think my mom tried to make me a He man gay because she thought that would straighten me up a little bit. Do you know, getting me a doll. But it was a He Man.

[Ben]

Do you know there's a He man movie coming out tomorrow? Isn't that crazy? I saw the preview for it. It looked like the biggest piece of garbage I'd ever seen. Of course. Yeah, but that.

[Ronnie]

You know who else was a piece of garbage? My he man doll. That never. Not one compliment.

[Ben]

You know who's misunderstood? Skeletor. Skeletor had body, by the way.

[Ronnie]

Well, we used to call him Skeletor. Now we call him Goal Weight.

[Ben]

Now. Now we under. Like, now we understand. We, Skeletor, Captain Hook. We understand these people. Now, I know you were just talking the other day about how you hate these movies about, like, let the villains be villains, but sometimes the villains are just, like, chill people have to deal with all the time.

[Ronnie]

Peter. Yeah, that's true.

[Ben]

What a. And on top of that, He Man. He man was always. He was pretty dull. I mean, again, sick body. But, like, he was pretty dull when he was Adam. He's like, oh, I'm Adam. Like, no one likes me. I can't do anything. It's like you. I would just relax, Adam, okay? I've had enough out of you.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I wasn't. I wasn't a He Man. I think I just didn't like that. I didn't like his name. Like He Man. Okay. Wow. We got it. Really proud of our gender. You know, they were very good for you.

[Ben]

They were very creative.

[Ronnie]

Which restroom are you using? Guess we're not going to need to look at your Instagram, you know, description in your bio for your pronouns or whatever. We got it. He slash Matt. Okay. All right, sir, you're very manly. Sorry about your penis.

[Ben]

So Nia and Michelle go to Cafe Shira.

[Ronnie]

He man. My man. He man.

[Ben]

Or as Michelle Lolly would sing it,

[Ronnie]

he is a he man. I did love that he man grew up and he was like this big manly man, like trying to make us all feel like little wussy girls. And then he had Captain Sandy hair.

[Ben]

I know, that's my favorite part. He has captain. Captain Sandy hair.

[Ronnie]

When he called Captain Sandy hair, he man hair.

[Ben]

But yeah, you know, the funny thing is I loved Shira, but I remember not a lick of it. But of course, he man. I just had stronger memories of it.

[Ronnie]

I'm sure you did. You had your dick in your hand. Probably a little winky in your hand the whole time you were watching the he man.

[Ben]

I was feeling things as a child that I didn't understand.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, commercials.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.

[Ronnie]

They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup.

[Ben]

Let me tell you something. That Mongolian cashmere sweater that I got from Quince, that is like a real icebreaker at parties. Because when people ask me about that sweater and I'm like, oh, I got it at Quints, they're like, oh my God, I have one from Quince too. And then we bond. You would actually would never think a Mongolian cashmere sweater could be such a bonding thing, but it is a lovely, luxurious item. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com crappens for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com crappens for free Shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com crappins

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[Ben]

Nia and Michelle go to Cafe Shira and Neil.

[Ronnie]

Her son's really into he man. Oh, I know. We know. We all, we're waiting for him to figure that out.

[Ben]

I had one he man toy. I was a guy whose face would kept on changing. Like he would rotate it and his face would be a monster. He rotated be like a man. Rotated be a robot. Oh, the best. Talk about being in the closet. It's like, who are you? Are you a man? Are you secretly a monster?

[Ronnie]

So this is another scene of Nia enabling her husband. So it's another super fun scene of Nia coming to run defense for her loser fucking husband that she is going to try and villainize everybody else on the show now because she married a piece of shit. So let's all tune in. What's she going to do, everybody? So she's like, oh, it took me almost an hour to get here. Okay, divorce. How are you going to use this as a defense mechanism or a defense scene for your husband when he moved you to fucking Santa Clarita? Divorce. If she made me wait for an hour and then this was her excuse and then she started defending her husband, the only answer I would have for her is Santa Clarita. Yeah, well, Danny doesn't drink as much as anyone else. Santa Clarita.

[Ben]

I'm looking up to see where Cafe Shira is.

[Ronnie]

Well, Danny wants another child. Santa Clarita.

[Ben]

Santa Clarita. You know what's actually really up about this, though? This Cafe Shira is in Beverly Hills. It's in the Golden Triangle, which is, you know, bound by Wilshire and Santa Monica, so that's annoying for anyone to get to. And the fact that production made Nia travel down from Santa Clarita into Beverly Hills, that is not an easy. That is they don't like her. I'm telling you that right now. We're telling you this. This is some Los Angeles insider traffic understanding former Uber driver ways they do not like this woman if they are making her drive from Santa Clarita into Beverly Hills. It's also just on a show called the Valley.

[Ronnie]

It's also just rubbing it in.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Coming. Coming from Santa Clarita to Beverly Hill.

[Ben]

Have you noticed that every time they shoot with, like, Michelle or Jesse, they just go over the hill to where Michelle and Jesse are. They. They don't make Michelle and Jesse really go up to the Valley very much. They almost always do it on the other side. And what's Hollywood? Hollywood, Beverly Hills. Which is kind of funny.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Even the Valley, it's like, let's get the out of here. Even the production of the Valley, it's like, let's shoot here as little as possible. Let's get out of this modern farmhouse hellscape.

[Ben]

I know.

[Ronnie]

Seriously. So she's like, yeah, I would have. I was late. You know, thanks for being patient with me. I'm good for the most part. I had a conversation with Jesse. We finally going to get divorced. And so they talk about that a little bit. And Michelle talks about how she cried all day when she left Jesse.

[Ben]

I also cried all day when I just went to aerobics. I cried all day when I went to the grocery store. I basically cry all day, all the time.

[Ronnie]

So anyway, I cried all day until I remembered I was coming to lunch with you. And I thought to myself, well, at least Jesse didn't make me live in Santa Clarita. Maybe he was a good husband after all. Coming out of my eye.

[Ben]

Zaldi, I am so glad that he did not threaten me with Santa Clarita.

[Ronnie]

Jesse will always be my family. So she says that he apologized, she apologized, and hopefully they can get along now. And Mia's like, well, it's a lot being a mom of a baby, but of 10 babies. But, you know, it's worth it. Like, you are a Zuber woman. You are a G man. Wait a minute.

[Ben]

So she's like. So our group dynamic is very interesting to me when it comes to Daniel, because I sometimes in our group, there's like a double standard because, like, you know, Jesse drinks like crazy, does all these things like in Santa Barbara. And, like, it's a bother in the moment, but. But nobody talks about it the next day. And I feel like it's similar with Zach. And I feel like the same with Daniel. And he's loud or whatever, but, like, whatever. It's like, we talk about it for a week later when Daniel gets on, I'm like, the difference is that when Jesse gets drunk and mounts off to Michelle. Everyone was like, that's up and that's terrible. Like, it wasn't like there was no hiding. I don't know. I'm not excusing Jesse's behavior whatsoever. I think it was abhorrent.

[Ronnie]

No, but Nia's full of here. They did all talk about it, first of all. And she's saying they did talk about it, but then they just let it go the next day. Yeah, because they weren't denying it and making excuses for it. Michelle wasn't running around going, no, no, Jesse's really a good person.

[Ben]

On top of that, actually, Michelle was, if I remember correct exactly from last season. Because of course I don't remember anything from five days ago. If I remember correctly, Michelle was actually saying all Jesse does is get drunk. Right, doesn't she? Wasn't she saying like he spends money and gets drunk.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah. But they were about to divorce, so they were in a contentious relationship.

[Ben]

But it was, there was no cover up. It wasn't like.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's why I think we're both saying the same thing. Like, yeah, we're both saying the same thing. Nia's running around, enabling the behavior, saying, it's not a big deal, it's not a big deal. Whereas everybody else was like, no, that's up. That's a big deal. He can't call you a. Like they all said that.

[Ben]

And as we have mentioned a million times times, Danny was also being a dictania. When he wasn't drunk at the amusement park, he was talking. He was being condescending and rude.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So again, it's about his behavior, not his drunkenness. Yeah, you dumbass. So Michelle's like, well, do you care if he drinks? And she's like, well, no, that's the thing. I mean, 90 when we drink and it's not unia stop making it a week because it's not a. When you drink, you're no problem. When we drink, you know, it's like 90 of the time, it's fun. Well, guess what? You know, serial killers, 90 of the time are watching TV or eating a sandwich or jerking off and not killing people. But the 10 of the time they're not eating or watching TV or jerking off, they are killing people. Okay? So, you know, worry about the 10.

[Ben]

I was about to say, do you want to drive in a car whose brakes work only 90 of the time?

[Ronnie]

You want to fly in a plane

[Ben]

that flies 90 of the time? 10.

[Ronnie]

Do you want a condom that only works? Never mind. Who am I asking?

[Ben]

Yeah, can I just. Can I tell you something? I don't want to brag. Like, I kind of feel like I'm a 100 super fun drunk like you are. I don't think, like anyone has had a story maybe over. Over the past was how old am I now? Like, so I think probably like 25. 25 to 28 years of me drinking. I think it's only been what? Oh, your time to stand up, I think. No, it just wants you to take a stand on something.

[Ronnie]

I'm not doing that enough. Enough.

[Ben]

So I'm not doing that enough.

[Ronnie]

I'm not taking enough of a stand. Go back to he man.

[Ben]

I'm about to say, Ron, go back to Heman. Ronnie has just become a. My grandmother gay. So wrong that I don't want to take a stand at this.

[Ronnie]

Okay, go ahead. So, yeah, you're a fun drunk and nobody's ever complained in all of these years. I mean, I will say you're meaner when you're drunk and I love it.

[Ben]

Yeah, but like, I'm not.

[Ronnie]

You've told me things about myself when you're drunk.

[Ben]

I have.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah. Oh, but I love it because I know it's been. I know it's been inside of you this whole time and I'm like, it feels like therapy.

[Ben]

Oh, that's so funny. I had no idea that I was for you.

[Ronnie]

Just kidding.

[Ben]

I had no idea that I was just kidding that I was laying into you what I was.

[Ronnie]

No, you don't lay into me. But you're like your filter, you know, it takes your filter off.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And that's, that's good. I mean, I think it's fun. I love it. I'm always encouraging you to be mean.

[Ben]

Well, either way, I mean, I think having like less filter when you're drunk, that's fine. It's more like. Like the belligerence.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Like I'm not. Like, you're not. I don't think I've actually ever been belligerent.

[Ronnie]

No.

[Ben]

When I've been drunk and I think, like, I understand every now and then some people will get blizzard. But like, if someone's at a 10 belligerence rate, that's a problem. Because honestly, that's a big rate. It's a really high rate. If I, if I find, especially as I've gotten older, if someone's belligerent even like once or twice, I'm just not going to get drunk with that person. Anymore because I don't.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

If you know it's there, you can't really get drunk because you don't know when is that. Are we, Are we having a ten moment right now? It's a real issue. And so for Nia to be like, yeah, 10 of the time. And I know, like, whatever she's estimating, even she, Even if it's 1%, like, I don't know if belligerence. The fact that there's even a name for it. That's the thing. The fact that there's a name for Dark side Danny means it happens enough. It happens enough that there's a nickname that's not acceptable to me.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You know, and she would stop this if she just stopped trying to make it okay because people are now arguing with it because she's. They're both going over the top and being like, what? What's the big deal? What's the big deal? It was a big deal. You got shit faced. You yelled at your wife in front of everybody for hours and hours and hours and hours for days and days. You ruined an entire vacation with your terrible couplehood. Yeah. And now you're acting like, well, everybody else sucks. Yeah, we're watching Bravo. Everybody sucks on Bravo. And that's how sad it is that you suck this badly that we have to waste time on your Planet of the Apes husband for this long. That's saying something about you, you know?

[Ben]

Yeah. And. And you know what's also so obnoxious about this? What she's doing here is it really discredits, you know, the intellect. And I, I, you know, I'm. I don't like to use that word with this cast, but it does, it does discredit the intellect of these adults. These are adults, adults who are in their 30s, if not in their 40s, who understand drunkenness. They understand behavior. They understand how like things. I don't think that they're doing this purely to drive a storyline. They, they see it the way we see it. Like people are not. Like, people may be idiots in life, but they also, like, on a certain level, people sort of understand behavior. And we all know a bad drunk versus. Versus a not bad drunk. We just know it when we see it. And Nia trying to be like, no, you guys are all crazy. Like, it's a double standard. It's like, no, lady, enough. Yeah, put your trap life dress away

[Ronnie]

enough and go back. But everybody does it. Everybody does it. So, yeah, she's full of. And I have to credit Nia because not Nia, I have to credit Michelle because Michelle did not agree with her. And she didn't. She didn't do anything except stay robotic. I mean. I mean, it's like thinking. It's like thanking an Alexa for, like, giving you the weather report.

[Ben]

But still like.

[Ronnie]

Like, she was just like, I will not agree with you, but I will not make you uncomfortable either because I know you have to drive six hours to get home.

[Ben]

I will just focus on memories of gymnastics.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

So now we go over to Britney's house. She's in bed with Cruise, and she's got, like, all of her, like, accoutrements. Her recovery coach. Once there, she's got, like, little claws and stuff that she can grab.

[Ronnie]

Second look, honey, Mommy's got a boo boo. You just hear boo boo. Tex, get away from my window. Sorry, that's your father. But I also got a real boo boo.

[Ben]

My boo boo. So here comes Brandon and he's like, hey, I can't find your pills. You know? She's like, so we don't have pills. He's like, yeah, so your doctor will have to call them in to the 24 hour pharmacy and then I can go pick them up. So she tells us. The only thing that I had asked for Brandon to do was to make sure that he picked up my pain medication because I was going to be completely out and he waited until it was too late and just drives my crazy because it's like the thing that I need the most right now because this is a very painful recovery. I'm like, this piece of shit couldn't get his girlfriend's pain medication. What the. I mean, that is. You're fired.

[Ronnie]

I knew when he showed up to that free dinner that they got for her influencer deal or whatever at that steak place, and he showed up in cargo, like, dirty cargo pants and a T shirt.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

That this man was no good. And you think, like, that's not a good thing to judge somebody on, but it is, you know, books, covers.

[Ben]

He also kind of use them. He also kind of gives the energy of like, Ophi sidekick in, like, a cartoony mafia movie where it's like, hey, did you. Did we take care of Vinnie? He's like, vinnie? I thought you meant Ginny. I killed Ginny. Oh, man.

[Ronnie]

He was very like, Turtle from Entourage.

[Ben]

Yeah, Turtle vibes.

[Ronnie]

He came on to social media and he was like, yeah. Someone was like, what a loser. He can't even pick up the pills for his girlfriend. He's like, I live three hours away. And by the Time she told me about it, everything was already closed. So I tried. So I don't know.

[Ben]

Okay, Missy gr.

[Ronnie]

But I will believe Britney on this one. Yeah, but also, don't count on somebody who lives in Roble. Not that people in Paso Robles are too stupid to pick up pills.

[Ben]

What Paso?

[Ronnie]

Paso Roble? I don't know. Because they pronounce it. They just make up their own pronouncing. Because he didn't even say Roble. What did he say? He's like, I'm from Robles. Didn't he say Robles?

[Ben]

I would call it so robe.

[Ronnie]

He's like, I'm from Robles.

[Ben]

I call it sorrow. The end of pass at the front of rebels.

[Ronnie]

But don't count on somebody long distance to get your local pills.

[Ben]

Like, you need to get your pills.

[Ronnie]

You know what I mean?

[Ben]

I agree. But I'm still gonna blame him because I feel like whatever you make.

[Ronnie]

Well, I blame him too. I'm just saying, when it comes to pain pills, you don't count on a man that you don't know to get your pain pills. Pain pills are extremely important.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Whether or not you've had surgery.

[Ben]

I agree. I agree. I, I, I, I. I feel like these are two not smart people trying to coordinate a very simple task and it was not going to work out. But I'm gonna blame him more because I feel like he's the one who's actually able to move around. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie]

No, I blame him, too. I'm just, you know, I'm just saying, like, Britney, take your power back. Like, part of being away from Jax is like, taking power back, and part of having power is having pain pills.

[Ben]

Come on.

[Ronnie]

Don't hurt yourself is what I'm saying.

[Ben]

I was going to say the one thing that Jax would have been good at would have been getting those pills. Never going to sit there for too long.

[Ronnie]

I would tell anybody, don't ever count on a man. But especially Britney, because we see how Britney picks like, Britney doesn't have a picker. You just don't rely on a man.

[Ben]

Yeah, but good news, everyone. Her little liposuction section. I mean, drainage.

[Ronnie]

My ball sacks are getting full. Look at them. So she whips out these little sacks that collect all of her juices, and he's like, ew. He's like, gross.

[Ben]

She's like, yeah.

[Ronnie]

He's like, is that blood? No, it's just all stuff that comes out of your body, like grains and

[Ben]

comes out of there.

[Ronnie]

I don't know.

[Ben]

But fats all sorts of stuff.

[Ronnie]

Oh my God, look, there's a little bit of chicken wing in there.

[Ben]

She really did say, ew, that one has a chunk in it.

[Ronnie]

We're either going to get.

[Ben]

We're either going to have to flush

[Ronnie]

these or we're going to have to get some ranch to dip them in to mar.

[Ben]

Come drain this one. I was like, I think Brandon should do it because he's like, oh, it's gross. Like, no, I don't want you to do it because I still want you to be attracted to me. I'm like, if he is not, this is your man and he messed up your pills. If he does not take care of those lipo filled sacks, he's like, he's out of here. Like he needs to take.

[Ronnie]

I wouldn't trust this man with my ball sacks.

[Ben]

So.

[Ronnie]

And yeah, and this I think was a test because she goes, maybe I should have Zuli come in. And he goes, yeah, Zuli's here, so she may as well do it. And just lays back on the bed.

[Ben]

He's like literally sitting right there.

[Ronnie]

Lazy. What a lazy.

[Ben]

Yeah, like take care of, take care of your woman. So.

[Ronnie]

Oh, this just gets worse and worse for Brittany.

[Ben]

Oh my gosh.

[Ronnie]

So that'll come in a later scene. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

[Ronnie]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

[Ronnie]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella.

[Ben]

Etchells we know.

[Ronnie]

Never miss or call. It's Diane call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Ben]

Darren McNicholas. She don't miss no Tricolus. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey.

[Ronnie]

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.

[Ben]

She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.

[Ronnie]

Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

[Ben]

This is Living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ronnie]

I love Aya Olivia Williamson.

[Ben]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[Ronnie]

Yes, we can.

[Ben]

It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldredge.

[Ronnie]

Darn skippy, it's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10

[Ben]

cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real

[Ronnie]

with Caitlin o' Neal Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily Besides who, what, why, where?

[Ben]

And Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.

[Ronnie]

Have a kebab with K. Rob My

[Ben]

Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo let's get savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's me, Marlis Rogers the incredible edible

[Ronnie]

Matthew Sisters she eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose she's the lady of the house It's Rachel Charouse There's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's our princess It's Rebecca Prince she's the

[Ben]

queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie.

[Ronnie]

It's Sarah Tell of son Shannon out

[Ben]

of a can and Anthony. Please don't stop. It's solely and pop let's take a look off with Tamla Plain.

[Ronnie]

Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.

[Brooke Devard]

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