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Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast
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Food with Mark Bittman.
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It's grilling season and Whole Foods Market
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has everything you need from their 365 brand ground meat to the New York strips and ribeyes.
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There are also grill ready beef and chicken kebabs and house made sausages.
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Yum.
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All the meat at Whole Foods Market is no antibiotics ever.
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And all of the seafood is either
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responsibly farmed or sustainable wild caught. So fire up that grill and get all of this and more at your local Whole Foods Market for in store
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shopping as well as pickup and delivery.
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This episode is sponsored by Klarna. You know when you buy something practical like groceries, plane tickets or honestly I just did a whole I need a new summer clothes because apparently none of last year's clothes survived my emotional support snacking era situation. And you realize you're not thinking about what you're buying but how you're paying for it.
B
I've actually been using Klarna for that because it gives you options. You can pay now, later or over time, depending on how you want to handle it. Sometimes I'll split something into a few payments so I don't have to deal with it all at once. And I like that. You know, I like that everything's super clear in the app. You always know what you owe and when, so there aren't weird surprises.
A
And it's not just for huge purchases either. I've used it for everyday stuff. And you can even get cash back and deals in the Klarna app, which honestly feels like kind of a smarter way to handle spending day to day. Less pressure, more flexibility.
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Download the Klarna app today or visit klarna.com to learn more.
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California resident loans made her arranged pursuant to a California financing law license and MLS number 1353190 Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cashback points. Limitations, terms and conditions apply.
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Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
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Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys. It's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.
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So speaking of which, we now go to Alicia's house and Rosie shows up and she's got some pink balloons. She's got all her pink stuff and she's very excited because they're going to be decorating little ducks for a tradition amongst Jeep wrangler drivers called ducking. Something I had not heard of, I'd heard of. You know, I've heard of things like Punch bug or whatever it is when you see, like, a Volkswagen buggy.
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What'd you say, Slug Bug? Where if you see a Volkswagen, you punch each other in the arm.
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Right. But I hadn't heard of people putting little ducks on Jeep Wranglers. And I looked it up, and apparently it started in Canada in 2020. It's a really relatively new fad. And now I guess they all do it to each other.
A
Honestly. Came back when Liz was cast on tv because honestly, anybody in the scene with her better be ducking. Yeah. At this point, self preservation.
B
It feels like. I don't know. Is there. Is there. Can we start a Kia tradition beyond just stealing them? Everyone that was Kia's big contribution to pop culture was that, like, people on Tick Tock were just breaking in and stealing them. Can we do a good Kia thing? But how about instead of leaving ducks, why don't we leave bags of Tate's cookies just in case someone driving a Kia might want some? I'm not saying who might want them, but, like, let's start. Let's go. Let's call it teeting. We're gonna leave Tate's cookies on Kias. Any Kias, especially Kia Sportages.
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This is those little rubber ducks, and you decorate them, and I guess you. You give them to other Jeep wrangler people. So very exciting. So they're gonna make these crafts with Alicia's daughter, who's dressed like a princess.
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Yes.
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And so they come in and they're making these little ducks, and they're talking about the. The ride at Sinatra night and how terrifying it was. And it's like, yeah, you know what? Liz should have come to my house with, like, balloons and ducks. That's what I would have done. If I question soul. If I really. What'd you do to the lady that you ran over? Because I think you just kept driving.
B
She wasn't a Jeep wrangler driver, so I couldn't. I couldn't do an aunt for her.
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Have little ducks in your glove compartment for people that you hit in crosswalks.
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To be fair, Alicia probably leaves little crackers everywhere on people's cars. Or at least slices of pizza.
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Yeah.
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So Rosie is like, selena, we have to decorate these ducks. I need your help. Do you know what ducking is with Jeeps and Selena's like, yeah, pet ducks on There. She's like, yeah. And then you go and you find other Jeeps and you put ducks on them. And then so we have to decorate our docks. And the pink ones come with crowns and sunglasses. And Alicia's like, I'm dead. Oh, my God, I love her. This is great. I love her so much.
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Yeah. And Rosie's like, I love getting ducks. I get talked all the time.
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Feels wasteful. Also, like, you have to, first of all, buy all these ducks and you have to leave them on people's cars, and then you receive a duck, and then you have ducks. Or do you just keep paying it forward and giving other people the ducks? Or do you just, like, amass a collection of ducks and then just have, like, this collection of ducks? And people come over and say, oh, my God, why do you have so many ducks? People have been leaving them for me on my car.
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I just don't feel like that would work where I live. Like, where I live in Texas, I live in a suburb, and I'm elder, you know, so we all drive like Lexuses. We're like old ladies and Lexuses. If there was like a Lexus thing that you put on the other old ladies cars, you'd get shot.
B
I'll tell you what goes on. I'll tell you what they do with the Lexus is probably. It's probably notes that are like, excuse me, you parked a bit too close to my Lexus. Just leave notes. Excuse me.
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It's just a little duck. You squeeze in, it goes, we all overpaid for a Toyota.
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So Alicia is like, I really like these pink ducks. I. I don't think you understand how much I love the pink ducks. And Rosie says, well, I know you like birds. That's why. That's why I was like, look, I can't get you a real bird, but at the very least, I can get you one of these. It's a disco duck. And she's ready for Studio 54. So I couldn't get you a real bird. I know you desperately would love a parrot or a parakeet or cockatiel. So instead I got you a rubber ducky with little sunglasses on it that you can't even keep because you have to put it on a car, a stranger's car.
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I love how these lines work. She goes, yeah, this is Disco Doc. She's ready for Studio 54. And then Alicia goes, speak it of Liz.
B
Well, I guess technically Liz had the Studio 54 party. I know, it's just. But it's still such a funny Transition.
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Because Disco Duck, you know, it's like the lips and everything. Like, I didn't answer her because I wasn't ready. And, like, I don't even want to fight back for her because it's like. It's like too much family history, you know? And, like, we're talking about it with my family. It brought it back. It brought back, like, so many memories.
B
I always see her talking to her aunts at Twin Oaks. Oh, my God. Twin Oaks. I saw that the aunts were doing a. Some sort of event at Twin Oaks. Be like, come meet Alicia's aunts at Twin Oaks.
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Like, remember when I talked about List of the Ants being like, oh, yeah, since we ain't homeless, that's disrespecting me. Yeah.
B
You know, it was nice to have my family be like, you know, like, validate me. But, like, also, like, I've been through, like, a lot, so, like, don't discredit me, you know, because, like, that's the thing too. Like, I. I think I'm gonna have to see her. I don't know. And Rosie goes, well, what are you gonna do this weekend for the Arabian Nights party? She's. I don't know. I don't know what type of crack I should bring. What's. What's a good Arabian cracker? Do you think Tris gets right? I don't know. It's a lot of straw. What about, like, a Cheez it? I don't know. I don't know. What's rape? What's an Arabian crack? I' stressed about this.
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We see flashbacks of Ruler being like, hi, ladies. Thinking about having a party at my house. Arabian Nights come for the belly dancer, stay for the toe lift.
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I really don't want to see her. And Rosie's like, well, you're gonna have to see her. So, like, what are you gonna do? I don't know. The thing is, like, because, like, I don't want to be in this position anymore that I feel this way. I just. It just puts me in a bad situation. Like, do you think you're gonna talk to Cassa?
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She's like, no. I mean, we'll just have our own party this weekend. We won't go. She's like, yeah. Like, sorry, guys. I'm just, like, so sick. I'm just so sick. I have a wicked bad cough or something.
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Although, I guess, really, really. She's like, well, you should pull a ruler. Although, I guess ruler really is sick, and I kind of feel bad. Oh, well, anyway, I can't wait to confront her with the fact that her husband's cheating on her again with a video.
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I can't talk to her about the video. I can't do it. I can't do it. Like, is there. Is there a kind of duck that you can put on someone's car when the husband's cheating on them?
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Well, she needs to know what's going on.
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Why, though? She doesn't. And Rosie's like, we can't just keep talking behind her back. We have to tell her. This is why this show doesn't have a vacation.
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Our only vacation is a day at Block Island. Okay? We gotta tell her. So by the way, they're talking about all this right in front of Selena. And Selena's like, mama, should I put
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the crown on the sidelock?
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And Rosie's like, oh, my God, that's such a good idea. Look how cute it is. Yeah, I know, because it looks like a fancy Blake the Boss. I don't even know what that means. Blake the boss.
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So now we go over to everybody getting ready and Kelsey's laser removing her armpit hair sponge. Alicia's FaceTiming Joe Ellen. And she's like, are you with your kids? Oh, oh, you're with Gary. Hi, Gary. Gary's like, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be Gary. Yeah, he does that. Gary talks like that. He's like, let's go down with the body. That we're gonna go over this body and have a good time for Arabian nights out. Nobody starts no at the Arabian nights. Handle that. I'll tell you. You know what, if someone starts something with you, you just keep your head held high to it, all right?
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He's also wearing this shirt that says, like, Gary's Mortgage Bonds. Yeah, this is the guy I'm gonna go to to get my mortgage bonds for my house. This guy right here.
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I love it, though, because everybody else is wearing, like, their lover boy merch or their whatever, soft bar. Gary's like, I can get it on that train. Gary's Mortgages.
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Yeah, it doesn't. Doesn't have the same appeal. So anyway, they're Alicia, Mortgage, house, mortgage, house. Hey, I hear there's a pool party coming up. I mean, I gotta go to it and tell everyone about mortgages. Yeah, my interest rate is high. So Rosie is there too. So Rosie, Alicia, and Joellen are all FaceTiming. And Joel's like, so what are you and Rosie getting ready for? Like, where you. Where you guys going? And, well, we actually got invited to Rula's Arabian night dinner. Party tonight. So we're going there. She's like, oh, I wasn't invited, so obviously she's not comfortable around me.
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Yeah. You know, like, rulers had an Aladdin themed party. Like, what if she thinks she's Princess Jasmine? Does she think she has a lamp? And, like, genie, tell my husband not to cheat on me. Oh, burn. That was a rule of burn.
B
She had to get there. It took her a moment. Yes. What? She thinks she's princess Jasmine. She has her lamp. She has, like, a genie. Genie's, like, never had a friend like me. You never had a friend like me, Jo Ellen, because I showed you the video. Ha. See there? Aladdin burn.
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She might want to tell that blonde lady to stop letting let the husband ride her magic carpet. Am I right?
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Am I right? King Ali magical. He Ali babwa. Okay, how about we talk to Baba Walters, the ghost of. Because she could ask a lot of questions, and maybe then she gets the bottom of why Brian was cheating on you. I got there. I got there, guys. I eventually got there.
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So we go to Rulas, and the Arabian nights party is getting set up, and she's getting a huge headdress put on her as Brian orders his first drink. And he's like, wow, look at this. I feel like I need a second one. You look great. Huh? You look great. God, my wife looks like a damn stripper. So good.
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Thank you. I'm trying to give you a little dance and rule. I was like, brian and I, we're good. Ready to roll. We're ready to host. I'm ready for tonight because it's going to be a party. It's our end of the summer party, Arabian nights, because we haven't had a party all summer, so we're going to have an end of the summer party.
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She's like, Sabrina Carpenter's like, stop it. I don't like that. I don't.
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Does Sabrina Carpenter have you at. What'd you say?
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You didn't see what that was? It was like a Coachella or one of those. And Sabrina Carpenter was performing, and someone.
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La, la, la, la, la.
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She went, oh, what? And she's like, oh, you know, that's my. It's ethnic. It's like. It's like a. A call. You know, it's my. It's my ethnicity. You know, it's my heritage. And Sabrina goes, oh, I don't like that. She got in all this trouble, so she had to apologize.
B
The next day. She's like, isn't like that.
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Sorry, I didn't understand. The ethnic, you know, importance of that. And I'm really sorry.
B
See, when you said it, I was like, I'm feeling like there's, like, a pop culture reference I'm not getting right now. Like, something happened that I missed. But I also liked it just being totally out of context of, like, Sabrina Carpenter weighing in on this moment. Like, no, I draw the line here.
A
Ew. I don't like it.
B
So they're saying cheers and stuff, and then Ashley and Jared show up first and rule is like, oh, you too. I have to kiss her first. Hi. How are you? Who is this man who's holding a latte for me? Jared, I got your latte. It's ready for you. Okay. Is there a Cindy here? Got your flat white.
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And she kisses Ashley. Now she's like, oh, my God. I don't know why, but I thought you'd do, like, a double kiss. No, I'm Lebanese. We do three. Three more than dare. My husband gets me three.
B
That probably blew her mind. A triple kiss. I didn't even know you could even go further than a double.
A
Whoa.
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So she said she hasn't seen Rilla in so long, and she's, like, really interested in seeing how. How Rilla is next to Brian, like, hosting this. This party with Brian. Like, because, like, how do you look at somebody in the face and have a conversation that's just like, we know that you're seeing another woman?
A
Oh, you're from the Bachelor.
B
Yeah.
A
Seriously, what are you acting like this is something new? You dated 30 men at a time, Ashley.
B
Okay, yeah.
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It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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It's called age band. Okay. Age.
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shopify.com WWC that's shopify.com WWC this episode is sponsored by Klarna. You know when you buy something practical like groceries, plane tickets or honestly, I just did a whole I need a new summer clothes because apparently none of last year's clothes survived my emotional support snacking era situation. And you realize you're not thinking about what you're buying but how you're paying for it.
B
I've actually been using Klarna for that because it gives you options. You can pay now, later, or over time, depending on how you want to handle it. Sometimes I'll split something into a few payments so I don't have to deal with it all at once. And. And I like that, you know, I like that everything's super clear in the app. You always know what you owe and when, so there aren't weird surprises.
A
And it's not just for huge purchases either. I've used it for everyday stuff. And you can even get cash back and deals in the Klarna app, which honestly feels like kind of a smarter way to handle spending day to day. Less pressure, more flexibility.
B
Download the Klarna app today or visit klarna.com to learn more.
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California resident loan suitor arranged pursuant to a California financing law license and MLS number 1353190. Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cashback points. Limitations, terms and conditions apply. So is like I love an Arabian diet, you know, like this camel's sand, you know, maybe a donkey.
B
Billy's like, why a donkey? I don't know. Just got into the feeling of it, you know, I just hope there's like a lot of people so that way, like, so if I see Lizzie, it's like not going to be aqua. Yeah.
A
Billy's like, whatever. Why stress out? Come on. Like if there's a problem, just say there's a problem. Just work it out. Come on. What are you nuts?
B
Yeah, I just, I always had to have My guy up with Liz because I had to, like, put on my Alma just to be around her. And, like, my heart's racing, so it's like a sky.
A
So now Liz and Jerry are arriving, and Liz is like, well, I haven't spoken to Alicia because she chooses to ignore me. But, you know, Jer, I blurted out what I blurted out, and then I apologize. So I see her. I'll smile, and I'll be cool. And Jewel. Okay.
B
It's like, why is she that mad? Apparently, I think that my reaction was. Was knee jerk.
A
And, like, if I could take it back, I would like.
B
I guess the word homeless has different meanings for people, just as the word scary apparently means different things. But if she wants to talk, we'll talk. Come with me. I just want to have a good time, if that's possible.
A
Yeah, but she's got those crossing, like, flittering eyes that, like, do the. Like, they vibrate right in the center different ways.
B
She's, like, ready for someone to say the word ongoing. The ongoing and such. Now we're not doing that.
A
All I wanted was the God of the sea,
B
Not the end going.
A
So
B
they. They show up, and they say, hi. And Kelsey, Kelsey's. Billy goes to get her a drink. And so Ashley and Jared are talking, and Ashley's like, well, Jared has to leave in 10 minutes. He's like, yeah, Fridays, I do trivia.
A
I'm like, bro, come on, Jared.
B
Like, it's like. It's like a Friday night, and it's like a big party. It's your wife's show. It's your show. You're trying to talk about bringing income in. You can hide. You can bring someone else in to do the. The trivia. He's probably thinking his. His mind. No, I have to do it because I was on the Bachelor, so people
A
want to see me, dude, coming for me. They're coming for Jared. Jared's trivia nights.
B
Yeah, bro, just give it a rest, okay? Reschedule.
A
It's like, speaking of trivia, I wanted to apologize to you guys, because the trivia. That's a trivia thing. And he's like, you're fine. And Ashley's like, it was so funny. It was very entertaining. We loved it. The first time you yelled, I was like, oh, she was. I don't even think anybody heard me. All because you guys were yelling so much. Like, everybody was under the table. I was like, crazy.
B
So we saw a flashback to trivia night, and then Rula goes, I missed something. Didn't die. That's the story of that should just be your tagline for the season. I missed something, didn't I? My name's Rula and I missed something.
A
Like, yeah, you missed it. Kelsey and Rosie were just so in love with each other. Meanwhile, Rosie and Rich arrive and now she's like, oh, my God, she's wearing a fire outfit. I'm just so dollop.
B
So Kelsey says the best thing that me and Rosie can do at this point is just to coexist. Like, you don't have to be friends with me and I don't have to necessarily be friends with you and we can just be like kosher.
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So Rosie comes and she's like, I'm evil Aladdin.
B
And Jared's like, you're evil Jasmine.
A
Oh, whatever. So now Kelsey and Bill are by themselves talking about how they're gonna go canoodle. And Rosie's like, well, I've accepted that Kelsey is never going to see me. She's never going to understand me. She's never going to ask me basic questions. So she's supposed to hate me. So whatever.
B
So now guess what? Jared's going to have to leave soon.
A
Yeah, it's a big deal.
B
Big deal.
A
Trivia night comes and goes to say hi to Rula and she's like, oh, my God, she's so excited to be at a party. Like, I wanted to have fun at a party because it's a party like she's having at a summer party and it's summer. They haven't had one yet. I don't want to talk about the affair video. Don't make me do it, please.
B
Oh, my God. And Rosie, you look absolutely gorgeous. I love the way it looks. You know, it's very hard for me. Like, I don't want to tell her I can't do it. A happy but like, I don't want to be like Liz and ruin all the fun and tell Rula about the video. I. I can't. So Rosie, they're just sort of making small talk and Ros asking if Alicia seen Liz yet. And, you know, and they've got this
A
big, intricate lease, lease leaf on someone's hand. And Rosie goes, oh, my God. Really cute. Looks like a weed leaf.
B
Like, thanks, thanks. Sabrina Carpenter is like, I don't like that.
A
I don't like that.
B
I don't like that, Hannah. So then Alicia's asking Jared if he drinks because he still hasn't left. But don't worry, guys. In case you're worried if he is going to leave, he this to say, don't worry, I drank, I had one. But I got to get going. I'm most in trivia. So, guys, he's still. Trivia is still looming on the horizon for Jared. He hasn't left yet, but he will be leaving for trivia.
A
Yeah. So Liz comes in and everyone's like, oh, my God, it's Liz. What are we going to do with Liz? Oh, we're all terrified of Liz. And so Rosie is checking with Alicia. She's like, you nervous? She's like, oh, my God, I'm so nervous. Like, it's so scary, Liz. What if she says I'm not homeless again? It's gonna be crazy.
B
It's never ica. So Dolores shows up and so does Liz. Basically the same person. And Dolores, like, oh, my God, look at her. Are you gonna belly dance for us tonight, Rula? Look, she's flashing. Look how shiny this is.
A
I'm.
B
I'm starstruck all over again. It's like I'm seeing Senator Liz again. Wow, Amazing.
A
And Rosie is really pushing Alicia to go confront Liz, but she won't do it. She's like, oh, God, I just. I. I haven't thought of. I just need to go off. And Rosie's like, just be the bigger person. Okay. Oh, no, this is about Rula. Oh, no, it is about Liz.
B
That's about Rose.
A
It's about Liz. You know, I saw Kelsey and I didn't talk to her, and I'm fine with that. I'm not going to be the bigger person, but you can try it.
B
Sash is like, I'm actually feeling like, like, really, like, divisions here at this Arabian Nights party. Like, there's friction between Rose, Rosie, and Kelsey right now. And then Alicia and Liz had this huge fight with Rula. And then, like, just like, trying to figure out the magic carpet rise. Because, like, I would love to escape the awkwardness. God, Kyle gone. Take me away.
A
So they all make a cheers. And then Rula comes in wearing this crazy lit cape, which will make me laugh every time I see it. It just reminds me of the stripper part of Gypsy, when all the strippers come out and want all Christmas lights and stuff. You gotta get a gimmick if you gotta get.
B
Well, what cracked me up was not when she necessarily came out with it, because she came out, was doing, like, a little bit of a dance. She had the wings. It was like the lights were flashing. It was like, okay, fine. But then when she was, like, done with it, and then it's just like talking with People, her whole dress was flashing. Just kept on flashing. It's like, we're trying to tell you about how your husband's having an affair. Could you, like, turn off your dress, please? Thank you.
A
So this is an Aladdin themed party, but then we have the candlesticks from Beauty and the Beast come out as the. As the belly dancer wearing, like, on her head. So she comes out and she starts dancing while the other women are like, oh, my God, should we talk to her about her husband cheating video? And meanwhile, their belly dance is like. Like, kind of grinding in the house. Oh, yeah, good.
B
Maybe it's a celebration of the Michael Eisner era of Disney. Like, here comes the Lion King. So then, yeah, they're watching the belly dancer, and of course, Brian is like. Brian starts. He's actually dancing with the belly dancer on point. He's doing this little. This little jig. It's like the first time he's shown any energy all season long is with that belly dancer.
A
Yeah. So then Rula starts doing the call again. She's like. And it's like, I love a good belly dancer. So does your husband. Look at him motorboating.
B
The belly dancer, Seriously, he's gonna have lots of wax on his head from all the candles.
A
The other guests are like, oh, my God, Brian, close your eyes. Kelsey's like, yeah, I'm sure Brian has a lot of bellies and titties shaking in front of him. This is just another day for him.
B
So Rich starts talking to Billy, as in Kelsey's Billy. And he's like, billy, you know what? I just want there to be peace, you know? Just let's be able to be in the same place where there isn't hostility, you know? He's like, yeah, I know. I want guilty to smooth it over. Yeah. You know, Rosie can be a little stubborn with stuff, but I think she gets. She can get there as well. You know, women. Women with women fights. Okay? Let's make them be good. Okay? Yeah.
A
Let's make these crazy women talk to each other. Women. Am I right?
B
Women.
A
He's getting the way of a good night. Am I right? I mean, so Mea is nervous to talk to Liz. She's like, as much as I don't want to talk to her ever again, like, I just don't want negative energy, you know? I don't want to feel like I don't like that feeling.
B
So she goes up to Liz and Dolores. She's like, hi. Hi, guys. How you doing? And Lo's like, oh, Alicia, how Are you? She's like, hi, Liz. How you doing? Hi. Hi.
A
Hi.
B
And then everyone just pretty much goes away. She's like, oh, okay, don't go. Okay. Okay. I guess it's me. All right. So as much as I just want to tell America this, as much as I never want to talk to Liz again, I just want. I don't want that negative energy around me, and I just. I want to feel free, and I don't want to feel like I don't want that.
A
So she goes up to her, and she's like, listen, I can't hate you. I can't hate you. Okay. I can't hate you. I can't quit you. Okay? I just, like, I. I needed some time away. And Liz is like, listen, I never got a moment to have compassion for you, Dolly, because I was tag teams, and it was very difficult being tag teamed. And never once did Joellen say, hey, Alicia, you know, Liz is high, and I'm gonna make it really simple. I blurted something out that I should not have, and I apologize. In no means did I mean to be little. You're never having a house. You're never not not having a house else. But I'm not mad, and I don't want to fight with you ever. I don't want to fight with you ever.
B
Listen, I love her. I love you, Chess. I really do. This is, like, a huge deal for Liz to apologize. I hope she means it, because I hope she realizes how much anxiety and pain she caused me, that not because I'll forgive her, but, like, I'm not gonna forget her.
A
So they say I love you to each other, and it's over.
B
Yeah.
A
The end. So then Liz is like, you know what? Things just blew out of my mouth before I had time to think about them 20 times. But, you know, I never really mean to hurt anybody ever. I'm not, like, this angry. You what? What are you moving the camera for? Do I look like I'm moving? Stay still if you want to keep your hands. Evil, heartless woman. But I'm really not. I'm just a woman who wanted to go to the sea wall with Dino.
B
Well, meanwhile, let's have the men fix things for the women. Okay? So now the Rich and Billy have gotten Kelsey and Rosie together, and Rich is like, you know what? She was just saying that she was cold. And Kelsey's like, yeah, that's why I've been hanging out at the heater. Right. Okay, well, speaking of thawing things, we're gonna try to warm it up. So, you know, we're just gonna try to resolve what transpired because, like, we should be able to come to a party, have a good time without, and not have to worry about hostility from what transpired, you know?
A
And the women are just quiet by these heat lamps like this. They hate each other. And Rosie's like, I don't want to have a problem. I mean, I'm on the news, so, like. I mean, I kind of need to get along with people. So, like, I mean, I. I don't. I just want to get along with you. And Kelsey's like, yeah, like, look, I. I didn't mean to beat the dead horse. You know what I mean? But sometimes the horse is lying there, and you're like, get out of the road, and you kick it a couple of times. So I did a joke. I did a joke. And then we see the. The joke of her and her stupid car being like, it's the square footage police. What is this, 8,000 square feet or 8, 000 inches?
B
Look, I don't. I don't want to be a. I don't want to beat a dead horse, even if that dead horse does live in a stable that's much smaller than it said it lived in. So Rosie is like, you know what? I think it's important to say that's, like, not a real apology and is the worst apology I got in my entire life. It's like, okay, just. So Rosie says, I apologize for my reaction. We should just, like, move forward. And Kelsey's like, I agree. Okay.
A
Yeah. And they move on. So now not resolved whatsoever. I'd also like to add, yeah, they both still hate. Then it cuts to them, like, still hate the.
B
Yeah.
A
So now Rula is with Rosie and Alicia, and Ruler's still blinking on and off. You know, she's like, I'm having the best time.
B
This is the first time. Like, because she's been compared to Teresa a lot, they sort of have that same energy, but, like, Teresa uses her eyes to blink, but this is the first time we've seen someone actually use their dress to blink. And so Alicia is like, well, you look beautiful tonight. And Rose goes, yeah, I love the eyeliner. It's, like, so good. And I just. I feel like you've missed so much recently, Ruler. Like, I have, but, you know, I got my toenail. I hit a vanity. It was hard. Hard for me.
A
Well, you were a pretty big topic of conversation at the Newport Mansion weekend. Oh, God, I'm so afraid to say it. Why are you afraid? I Mean, it's just so messed up what we learned at the mansion. You haven't heard about what we learned at the mansion. Leeches. Like, I got goosebumps.
B
It's a new brand of cracker, actually. It's delicious. So Rosie's like, you don't know about the video. Ruler rule is like, I know nothing about the video. So Alicia's mad because she doesn't want to be part of this, and she didn't realize that Rosie was gonna bring this up. So Rosie's like, oh, well, do you want to know what's in the video? Maybe like, okay, so here's what happened. Joellen called all of us downstairs, and she shows all of us in the living room of the mansion. And Rula, I think you should know what's in the video because it was dated the day before Polo. And so it's like, it's not an old video.
A
But then how do you know the whole date is valid on it? Oh, my God, Your husband really has you so screwed up.
B
I know.
A
Question. The husband really has her believing that this woman is going around, you know, changing the digital identities, the identity markers on every video.
B
Come on, Brilla, seriously. And Rusy goes, well, because on the car, which they keep on saying this. It's like, on the car, somehow the date is showing on the vehicle. And I don't know how that happens. Do you know?
A
No, I didn't know what that meant
B
because I don't understand that. But Rosie goes. I mean, it's just like it's this blonde woman kissing and hugging him, and I just felt weird having this information not telling you about it because everyone's talking about it. I just felt like if it was me and that happened, I would want someone to tell me.
A
And Rula's like, well, why aren't you telling me any of this, Alicia? Because I. I don't want to know. And I. Yeah, I just don't want to know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
B
So Rosie says that they just want to protect Rula, you know, but it's out there. And rule is like, I'm not really appreciating the fact that Rosie chose this time, which, in case you forgot, is my end of the summer party, because we haven't had a party yet this summer. But she chose this time and place. This place, of course, is my house to share this information because I haven't seen any video do it. Do I even see this thing? Do it? Do I even consider this thing? Like, how do I verify? Do I get upset with Brian. Like, I don't want to process this. I don't, like, have the bandwidth. I've. I've got to figure out where to put my flashing dress. How do I turn it off? There's, like, bigger questions in my life right now.
A
So Brian comes over and Rosie's like, yeah, I mean, it was very odd to be called into her room. You know, Brian, Brian, you know, and she's like, they're talking about some video the day before Polo that came out. I was like, I don't want to know. And Rosie's like, well, I mean, Brian, it was canoodling and kissing and hugging, leaving her house. You know, there's a time stamp on it. I mean, he goes, yeah, she changed the timestamp. That's what they do. That's what hoods do.
B
You just do.
A
That's got a digital timestamp changer in the thong, all right, that they pull out.
B
Rosie's like. She's like, well, I don't know who Joellen is getting her information from. He goes, I trust her as much as gas station sushi. Does.
A
Heard that one before. I like it.
B
Well, you know, there could be different levels of gas station sushi. Okay, like, what about the place in tech? What's the place in Texas we always go to?
A
Bucky's.
B
Bucky's. I wouldn't actually trust sushi from there at all. Yeah, I'm looking up how. How difficult is it to change the date of a video you shot on your iPhone? It's not difficult at all. You can easily change the display date and time of a video right inside the built in iOS Photos app. Open the photos app, tap on the video you want to edit, swipe up the video, or tap the info button, tap adjust, and use the calendar and clock to select the new date and time you want.
A
Well, you're welcome, cheaters.
B
Is it really that simple?
A
That's cray cray, I guess, but it's not the point. It's like there's a video of you making out with this woman at her house and, like, hugging her for 10 minutes. Like, who cares? Ruler's whole thing of like, oh, but that was then. I already forgave him for that. This is all old videos rule that there's this many videos that keep popping up or, like, many pieces of evidence, I guess I should say I'm making
B
a video of you and I just made it, and now I'm gonna see if I can change the date on it easily, because this could Be adjust. Huh? It really is that easy. Guess what? I made this video five days ago. Wow. Okay. This is. I guess they do have a. Except the thing is this. I don't. Well, he's.
A
There's still.
B
My mind is like blown by this.
A
The video is still made like I don't care when the end of package exactly jumps right up and says change the. Change the date of the video. You know, he's got that like ready to go. I will leave you, Brian.
B
I will also say by the way that like they said that it's not because of the time stamp on the video itself. They said it's because there was something on the car. It was like right there. That could not have been adjusted or manipulated. So there it is.
A
So rule is like. It's almost like the Joe Wellen bug is coming through even without Joel and being here. You could wear designer, but that doesn't make you not a cockroach.
B
Just got ruled real hard.
A
Roses and Gucci are like off like
B
so then Brian goes, I mean it's not like Hoellen. I mean Jo Ellen is our friend.
A
Classy. So now you're calling a woman a ho. Brian, you're really just stacking up the points there, buddy.
B
When you're the one who's cheating. He goes, there's so many things about her that I don't and I don't say it. I take the high road. Do you take the high road? You're the one that's cheating. You're literally cheating. And you just called her Hoellen.
A
If you take the high road, it's only because that's like where make out point is, you know, so rules like Rosie, I feel like you're not coming that place and yeah, like when is that in a low place? It's always the top of a hill somewhere.
B
No, I just.
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B
Do you? What are your ways? We have yet to see them. So they're doing some shots, and then they, like, all do you know, Alicia goes, Bitches love summer. That's what we should cheers to. Bitches love summer. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. Bitches love summer. So that's. That's how they end that party. And just when you think the episode's over, it's not. Because now we're going over to Potter's Cove, which, as you may remember, is Kelsey's favorite beach. Right. Wasn't this the same place, the dingy beach? And now she's there, and she's dragged Liz over there, and they've got some contraptions to go clamming. Yeah.
A
So it's kind of funny watching people go climbing. I didn't know this is how you do it. Like, you rake the sand and then what?
B
I want to do it. I want to do it. The last time I saw something like this was when they went to Top Chef. Top Chef Portland, and they went to the beach and they sort of dug up clams and stuff, but it didn't look like this.
A
So they're, of course, gossiping duck. Rhode island is known for its, like, clams and clamming and, like, I don't know, the audit clamming.
B
We're known for our clamming. So Liz is like, I haven't done this in so many years.
A
I haven't done this since I was a kid.
B
And Kelsey's like, yeah, well, there's some clams that are more underground, so you just have to wait for the air bubble to come up. I'm like, I guarantee those clams are burrowing away from your garbage foot. Because that's all I can think of,
A
is step on the beach, all jump up, and try and get out of there as fast as they can.
B
I know they're like, the garbage foot is back. Everyone burrow.
A
So Kelsey's like, it's the end of summer. And like every. I don't know if you know this, but I know it because just Rula had an end of summer party because she hadn't had one yet. But send a summer. And, like, we should have a trip to Block island because everyone's relationships have been all over the map, especially Liz and Joellen. The little issues, like, you know, as me, as the friend, I'm responsible To bring them together. So they're talking about how special Block island is, and they're gonna.
B
There's no better island for this group of. Of of dimwits than some place called block island. Because that's basically what's all heading there. A bunch of blocks.
A
Yeah. So they're like, up now. We're gonna have our big finale at block island, guys. And then we go to Joellen's house, and she's packing stuff, and the son lays on the bed, and she's like, we're going to block Island. I want to make sure my mom's ready with the kids. Okay.
B
Gary's like, how many nights? Just one. Should I bring any portfolios for mortgages? And she's like, yeah, it's just gonna be one night. Okay.
A
For you guys over there. Block Islands, you know, real important place for ladies to bother them. I just want everybody to know interest rates are low. Could they be lower? Possibly? I don't see it happening anytime soon.
B
Gary, take your shirt off. Stop talking about mortgages. So he. They're doing only a, like, one night at block Island. Geez. So. But everyone's going. All the husbands, too, because, you know, Bravo. Bravo likes to have a few of these shows on per year where the husbands have, like, a big role. So they're all gonna come, and Gary's like, everyone's going. Ruler's going. She's like, ruler. And Brian are going. And I think Brian's going, yeah. So they're gonna be there. And he's like, oh, and what about queen bee Elizabeth? When was the last time you seen her? How about that?
A
So she's saying how awful Liz was to her. Just awful. But this friendship means something to me, and I'm gonna try and fix it. I'm gonna try and fix it no matter what. I never let anybody talk to me like that. But it's Liz, and we're friends. We're friends to the end.
B
I love when she goes. She goes, she was awful, Awful, awful, awful, awful, awful.
A
Yeah, but if she the type of person that says super meat thinks in the heat of the comet, that retracts it after it says, I went a little over the top. She's like, are you trying to turn this around on me, Gary? I'm just saying.
B
So then Kelsey is. We're back on the beach, the clam clam squad. And Kelsey's like, so how are you gonna deal with Joellen on Block Island? She's like, yeah, you know, whatever she brings, she brings. I'll do it by the moment. You know what I mean? I think for me, her weight is lifted so she can come at me and say, whatever, but, like, the worst of the worst, I put my hands on her. It's never, okay, I did this. I'll handle it in the moment. But, like, I think I really don't care, to be honest.
A
Oh, yeah, Well, I deserve an apology. Joy's like, I will get an apology. And he's like, I don't think she's gonna give you any apology, though. She doesn't seem like the apologizes type.
B
Well, maybe when she's had time to sit and think about this and how awful she was. So then Kelsey back at the clams. Kelsey's like, have you ever felt so far that you're actually wrong on something? By the way, you know, with all these ongoing issues, what's wrong with you?
A
Kelsey says, yeah, so have you ever been wrong, Liz? And let's go. Nah, no, no, I'm never wrong. All right, sure, Maya. My reactions can be up. I know, but I know that they come from a place of me looking over my shoulder. You know what I mean?
B
Yeah. It's just rich that when someone hurts you, becomes the victim. Like, Joellen has a crazy way of doing something insanely bad to you, and then you react and she comes back to you like, oh, you hot me. You hot me. I'm like, liz, do you even hear the words that you're saying?
A
Some terrible things I didn't expect to say, but you walked in there expecting to say these things to me. And what I'm saying is you deserved it, and that's that.
B
I think a lot of that is me responding to something that I think was premeditated, because you can call that paranoia. But, like, even paranoids have enemies. So Liz is saying that night she. She was. She got mad. She said stuff sort of, you know, unexpectedly, like, because she was so emotional. But Joellen was intending to say all that stuff.
A
Yeah. So it counts, because Joellen meant it, but Liz didn't, so.
B
Sure. Tracks sounds great.
A
So then meanwhile, Joellen's like, oh, my God. She fights with everybody. She fought with Kelsey. We see the Studio 54. I'm going. I'm going. See? Well, Dino, she fought with Alicia.
B
Who else? Yeah, Alicia.
A
We see a clip of that. We see, uh, now look at her now. She's fighting with me. This time it's me. And how many times can I keep getting knocked back down? He's like, you gotta put it to bed, though, because you gotta be on an island you can't go nowhere.
B
Lock Island. Well, the big season finale is is this Sunday. So we will see what will happen on Block Island. It's great.
A
All right.
B
In the season.
A
Thanks so much for being here. We will see in a little while for Amazon live and crappy hour and then we'll be back tomorrow with some Bel Deck Mediterranean.
B
Bye. Watch what crap INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call it's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King Our
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Podcast Date: June 8, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
This episode is the second half of a two-part recap dissecting Season 1, Episode 11 of "Real Housewives of Rhode Island" (RHORI) – "Arabian Slights." Ben and Ronnie bring their trademark mockery and devotion as they break down all the drama from the Arabian Nights party, a mounting cheating scandal, and the tangled web of shifting alliances in the group. Listeners are treated to the hosts’ sharp observations, tangents into pop culture references, and hilarious off-the-cuff commentary as the Housewife drama builds toward a Block Island finale.
Timestamps: 02:25 – 07:01
Timestamps: 07:01 – 09:21
Timestamps: 09:43 – 11:34
Timestamps: 12:08 – 16:25
Timestamps: 18:36 – 19:19
Timestamps: 21:24 – 24:07
Timestamps: 31:31 – 36:39
Timestamps: 40:53 – 43:34
Timestamps: 42:12 – 46:47
Timestamps: 46:47 – 48:20
Timestamps: 48:20 – End
On ducking:
“Can we start a Kia tradition beyond just stealing them? ... Let's leave bags of Tate's cookies, call it teeting.” – Ronnie (03:25)
Bravo husbands hustle:
"This guy right here. This is the guy I'm gonna go to to get my mortgage bonds for my house. He talks like that." – Ben mocking Gary (10:20)
On Liz’s confrontational energy:
"She's like, ready for someone to say the word ongoing. The ongoing and such. Now we're not doing that." – Ronnie (19:27)
On Housewives apologies:
“That’s not a real apology and is the worst apology I got in my entire life.” – Rosie, on Kelsey (30:57)
On the cheating video timestamp defense:
"She changed the timestamp. That's what they do. That's what hoods do." – Brian (35:01)
"If you take the high road, it's only because that's like where make out point is." – Ben (38:13)
On Block Island trip:
"There's no better island for this group of dimwits than some place called Block Island. Because that's basically what's all heading there. A bunch of blocks." – Ben (43:34)
On Liz's view of herself:
“Nah, no, no, I'm never wrong. All right, sure, Maya. My reactions can be up. I know, but I know that they come from a place of me looking over my shoulder. You know what I mean?” – Liz (46:27)
| Time | Segment/Topic | |--------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 02:25–07:01 | Jeep “ducking” trend; Kia “teeting” riff | | 07:01–09:21 | Fallout from Sinatra Night; Arabian Nights snacks | | 09:43–11:34 | Alicia & Joellen FaceTime; party themes | | 12:08–16:25 | Arabian Nights party setup; Lebanese traditions | | 18:36–19:19 | Liz’s entrance; “homeless” drama revisited | | 21:24–24:07 | Relationship tension; forced apologies | | 28:01–28:52 | Alicia & Liz make peace (sort of) | | 31:31–36:39 | Cheating video reveal and iPhone timestamp debate | | 40:53–41:32 | Party wraps up; “Bitches love summer” toast | | 42:12–43:34 | Clamming, Block Island trip planning | | 46:27–48:20 | Liz & Joellen on apology and confrontation | | 48:20–end | Season finale preview; sponsor thank-yous |
This episode is a must-listen for anyone catching up before the RHORI finale: Ben and Ronnie deliver not just a blow-by-blow of the Arabian Nights party but also plenty of tangents and sidebars, including personal research (on iPhone video timestamps!) and outlandish riffs on Bravo tropes, Real Housewives logic, and regional oddities. Listeners who missed the episode will feel caught up on the petty drama, the group divisions, and the brewing storm that promises to blow up on Block Island.
End of Summary