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Brittany
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Sutton
Yep, he's planning another project. So this Father's Day at Lowe's, tap into free gifts for dad. Get a free select Craftsman power tool when you buy a Craftsman B20 charger with 2amp hour and 4amp hour batteries. Plus get a free Dewalt power tool when you buy a select 20 volt max XR 4amp hour battery kit. Dad knows our best lineup is here
Brittany
at Lowe's, valid through 714 while supplies last selection varies by location. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens over little feature? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?
Sutton
Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. This is is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys. It's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Sandy radios everybody for a captain's meeting. And she's like, hey, everyone. Really happy you're here. God, you guys look eager.
Brittany
Also amazing that you all fit on this tiny, tiny love seat that we have that in this salon. This boat is really small. Gosh,
Sutton
I look around and I look at all your energy. Look at you just sitting there. God, maintain that energy for the next charter and the charter after that, the charter after that, the charter after that. In 70 years. I want to look at you just sitting there smiling the exact same way.
Brittany
Oh, Sandy, I'm sorry, but we couldn't quite hear you. We could only see the soles of your feet. God, this chair.
Sutton
We got each other's back. That's how I roll. Now we're gonna dock. We're gonna anchor, we're gonna dry run. Then we're all gonna get together. What are we gonna do? Drop the anchor, Hug. We're gonna hug. What are we gonna do after we take a hug? Drop the anchor and take a nap. Okay, then what? Drop the anchor. We're gonna nap. Hug. That's where we take naps while we're hugging.
Brittany
When do we eat the branzino? So they all cheer for this pep talk because they're Gonna do a dry run. And then Sandy's like, the last few charter seasons, we step on a boat, we don't know the boat. It's just a mess. And I want seven star service from day one. So she has the grand idea that before people come on the boat, we're gonna make sure people know what they're doing. I'm like, why did it take, like 12 years of this show for someone to finally have this idea instead of just like, oh, welcome to the boat. You've never been on a boat before. Okay, great. Well, the next charter starts in three minutes, so I don't know, learn how to fold a.
Sutton
They must have had a cancellation or something, because this time is money. You're not just going to pay people to, like, go float around for nothing. Yeah, they must have a cancellation or something. So she's like, this is a bigger boat than Bravado. So we're gonna set two anchors every time. It's more of a challenge for the deck crew. There's more working parts, I trust. Nathan, we got this.
Brittany
Well, she also says the boat. The boat is called Akira 1. And she's like, Akira 1's an older boat. So, you know, it's solid. It survived the test of time. I'm like, have you seen an old house?
Sutton
I don't know. I think they're stronger than the new ones. You know, like, look at airplanes. We're still riding airplanes from the 1950s and 60s because they hold up better. The new ones are like our whoops. Like they hit a bird and they're explode.
Brittany
I don't know. But I also remember Parsifal, too, and that was an old boat, and that one required a bit of assistance. I don't know.
Sutton
As an old boat. I'm defending the old boat.
Brittany
Okay, that's fair.
Sutton
These damn kids come in here with their mushroom hair. These damn boats.
Brittany
Well, that's true. When they did have a new boat, there was that one boat where the stabilizers went out. They had built in those stabilizers.
Sutton
And then boat was a city boat, remember? Yes. They couldn't keep the stabilizer. What else is wrong with that? But so much wrong with that.
Brittany
That was terrible. Yeah, yeah. So now Joy is in the gallery.
Sutton
The chef with the mirror glaze.
Brittany
I wish I remembered. I wish I remembered. What was my favorite boat. Like, there's some boats. I do the mirror glaze boat. What was annoying about that one was that the galley had, like, a hallway next to it, remember?
Sutton
With a window, like a bank window.
Brittany
And for some Reason that drove me nuts.
Sutton
Me, too. It made me crazy. Like, the chef needs privacy.
Brittany
I think probably the best boat that they've had was the one that we just got off of on down under because that galley was so massive. Like, they've never seen a galley as big as that.
Sutton
I don't really remember the boats that much unless there's very. Like, I remember the modern boat, and I remember the sailing boat.
Brittany
Surely you remember the one yacht that used to be a Japanese merchant boat or something like that.
Sutton
Remember?
Brittany
It was like, every episode. Well, this boat used to be a Japanese fishing trowel. Whatever.
Sutton
Every single day, I remember hearing about it, but I don't remember what it looked like.
Brittany
It was brown. A lot of brown on the inside.
Sutton
All right, so Genevieve and Kat are in the cabins, and Genevieve is like, I hate beds. Luckily, I'm moving to a point where I never have to do another bed again. In yachting, I'm trying to become a purser. So, yeah, beds. Am I right?
Brittany
Seriously, Just the worst thing I've ever seen my entire life.
Sutton
And then she tells us what a purser is. So I didn't know because I just said it was the person who ordered things. That's incorrect. A purser runs hr. They take care of crew contracts. It's the highest you can get on the interior. I wish we could see the purser on these boats. I think that would be a fun character.
Brittany
Yeah.
Sutton
The HR Purser.
Brittany
The HR Purser.
Sutton
Yeah.
Brittany
Yeah. So again, she's saying. Did you just say this part? I grew up in a New York City in a wealthy neighborhood, and I went to. She goes, I went to school with celebrity kids. Success stories all around. My parents were successful, and I want to be more successful with them. By running HR on a boat.
Sutton
Yeah. It's like, that's the American dream, isn't it? I was like, no, the American dream is like winning the lottery and not having to do shit and be rich anyway.
Brittany
Right. It's like, I don't remember this episode. The Gilded Age, where someone, like, one of the Vanderbilt kids were like, guess what, Mommy? I will be running HR on a boat. I'll be overseeing conflicts amongst.
Sutton
Well, you never know, because there is some Gilded Age shit. That was crazy. Like, one guy invented the alarm clock. I think he invented the alarm clock. He was like a butler. And they're like a clock that makes noise. Stupid. And now look at him.
Brittany
Now look at him. And that man's name was Reginald G. Alarm Clock. His name was Dream Machine.
Sutton
Yeah. So now Joy's in the galley. And she's like, let not cut my hands today. Let us not cut my hands today. I mean, I like that she sings. I would have preferred not to drop and to serve little fish First I cut off the heads and I. You know, they removed that song from the live action Little Mermaid.
Brittany
Why?
Sutton
Why would you do that? I was so upset, and it was a cute movie otherwise, but I was like. You removed.
Brittany
That's the one they removed?
Sutton
Yeah.
Brittany
That was stupid.
Sutton
I was extremely offended.
Brittany
So then meanwhile, there's a lot of
Sutton
controversy over that movie. That was just unfounded, uncalled for, and disgusting. But when I saw it, I was like, why isn't this a controversy?
Brittany
That should have been.
Sutton
This is why people should be pissed.
Brittany
Exactly. Well, so Nathan is. He's. He's agitated. He's like, primary on the te. Get on the te. And seems like, hey, don't yell. You're gonna learn your rhythm. Because you know what? You know what's gonna get you? The rhythm always happens. So that's what today is for. Okay? Anchors and rhythm.
Sutton
Anybody know what happened? Gloria? Stefan? No. You know why? The rhythm got her. It got her. It came through in the night.
Brittany
But you know what, though? She never yelled. She never yelled. Okay, so now the students and Cooper are in the crew master. And Cooper's like, oh, my God, I would love some sty. I'm cramping real bad. And so they're like, yeah, wow. Like, I saw you do all that today, but you're really flexible. It's like, oh, I can do a split. Like, really? So he does a split, and they're all shocked. Johnny was delighted for the rest of the night.
Sutton
A lot of people doing splits. There's that girl on love island who. That's her thing. I know. I do a split. Like when you really work your groin every day in the morning. Like, our groin is attached to us, you guys, and it's like, so attached to us. And then they just show her do the splits and then rub her groin all over the ground, like, rhythmically, while everybody gets haired. Sorry, guys.
Brittany
Gorgeous water is pouring me a delicious glass of Saratoga water. They're not even a sponsor. But they're. But they're sponsoring my.
Sutton
Damn it, Van. We said the other day they were a sponsor. Now you're admitting that we're liars?
Brittany
Some nice cloud trying to shame them into being a sponsor.
Sutton
Me, I still have some chai tea latte in here, so.
Brittany
Oh, delicious.
Sutton
I love some cloudy.
Brittany
Bonnie, did you not learn anything from Love Island. When you say chi, it's like saying tt, which, by the way, that's Padma's big thing. And then Charl and then Zach from Love island said it. It's like Padma did it first, like, dt.
Sutton
Okay, so let's see. Cooper does the splits. It was hot. Asia enjoy her in the galley. And she's like, oh, my God. Look at you, so organized. So what made you decide to be a chef? And she was in Miami working as bartender. I met a gentleman. We fell in love, and he said, you should be private chef. And that was the beginning of the story. Oh, my God. What happened to him? He made mistakes. I didn't forgive. I cook him. I cooked the man.
Brittany
He's gone.
Sutton
I love her. She's like, he made mistake. I didn't forgive.
Brittany
You did well. Because, you know, he was like, you should be a private chef. So that way she would go to culinary school, and that way he could bang someone else. So Joy is. Yeah.
Sutton
Is that a thing? It's a lot of work. Yeah. Most of the guys on this show don't put that much effort in. They just bang somebody else.
Brittany
So Joy is like, right now, I'm focused on my career. I need to have someone that supports me and bring me peace, not someone that puts. Can put his Kiki somewhere else. Okay, so then Asia's like, great day. Everyone go to sleep. And Sandy's like, okay, deck hands, get ready to dock the boat. This is the big practice, and we're not gonna mess up whatsoever. Dry run.
Sutton
So Genevieve, Cat, and Kaylee are in the crew mess, and Genevieve's like, oh, my God. Who's on lights with me for the deck team? It's gonna be Luke. She's like, love that. Oh, my God. That's gonna be so funny. So tall. He's so sexy. He's older. I like older men.
Brittany
And then Kelly's like, I reckon Cooper is the guy that you. That you take home to mom. He just seems so innocent. And Joe just seems a lot trouble. Like, he's like, trouble. Am I right? Did you hear the one about the end and draws a bunny? It's in the battery commercials. So then outside, they're. They're coming into dock, but there's these two party boats, and they're making so much noise. I mean, you've never heard the Macarena this loud.
Sutton
Yeah, they are partying on these boats. And Nathan's like, captain Sandy, what's that noise? The. Do you think it is?
Brittany
She's like, oh, you're talking about wind. New season just started.
Sutton
Look out the window.
Brittany
I know.
Sutton
She's like, oh, we're going next to the party boats. They are definitely breaking the noise ordinance.
Brittany
Wait a second. They're singing a song about a concept I never even heard. We can do that. Electric slides. Okay, we're getting that on our boat.
Sutton
What? Is Hannah back having a drug den party over there? So by the way, did you see Hannah in the preview?
Brittany
Yeah.
Sutton
Oh, these kids in the new fangled boats. I know. She is back on here.
Brittany
She's back.
Sutton
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
Brittany
Ronnie, can I tell you something? I was shopping online the other day and I don't know what's happening with me. I can never remember my password anymore. Does that happen to you?
Sutton
It's called age band. Okay. It's age.
Brittany
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Sutton
Oh my God. Shopify makes it so much easier. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Thrive Cosmetics, Chubbies, Death Wish Coffee, Magic Spoon to brands just getting started.
Brittany
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Sutton
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Brittany
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Sutton
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Brittany
Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com WWC go to
Sutton
shopify.com WWC that's shopify.com WWC goodbye, Ching.
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Brittany
So they're trying to dock this boat, but no one can hear anything over the sound of love shack. So she's like, what was that? Do I need to pull back? Do I need to pull forward? Which way? Which way do I go? Am I doing the Macarina or am
Sutton
I parking the boat?
Brittany
What am I supposed to do?
Sutton
How am I supposed to know what I'm doing? All the orders are turn the beat around. Oh, geez, Captain, stop rotating your chair.
Brittany
I can't help it, Captain. Sandy, we're gonna need you to stop doing a line dance up there. I don't know if the rhythm got me again. I can't help it.
Sutton
Oh, Gloria, there you are. Let me out of here.
Brittany
So she crashes.
Sutton
They crash. Yeah. So basically she's like, can you see? I can't see. Can you see? I can't see. Can you hear me? Two meters. Two meters. A boom.
Brittany
Yeah, there's a big crash. And she's actually pretty chill about it. Nathan starts losing his mind. He's like, I'm going to get fired. And then I can't provide for my family. How then my family is out here and my heart is beating out of my chest. She's like, wow, I can't believe what just happened. If there's structural damage, our charter season's over before it even got started. And to think it all happened while I was upside down in that damn chair.
Sutton
So she comes to inspect the damage, and it's cracked all along the. What do you call it? The dock.
Brittany
It's like the thing. It's like. Yeah, the.
Sutton
The. The entryway, the foyer, if you will.
Brittany
The passer. It wasn't the Bachelor.
Sutton
Have we been recapping this for 14 years or we still.
Brittany
Naughty boy. Parts of the book. Yeah. It's the butt. Especially the boat's butt.
Sutton
It's the butt.
Brittany
It's the butt.
Sutton
It's got a crack like every other.
Brittany
It's got, like a chaplet.
Sutton
Yeah. So it's like, oh, we damaged it. I don't believe it. He's like, I'm sorry. I don't even know what happened. It's like, just be calm. See if there's damage on the inside. And Joe's like, I don't want to sound like an op ed.
Brittany
Too late.
Sutton
If I were down on the stern. Here we go. If I were chief Stew, the boat wouldn't even be within 2 meters of hitting the dock. As a person, you've got to understand that there's a loud environment. You've got to pre plan this. If she's on the port side, wing station, set up two people on port side to say 2 meters. 2 meters. 2 meters. Like a channel of communication. But that's just me. Well, a, you're right. But B, you were also here.
Brittany
You know, why aren't you doing anything? Yeah, exactly. He's. He's such an underminer. He. Yeah. So then Sandy's like, well, obviously this sucks. But I think, you know, because I've been through so much of my life, you know, Somali pirates, basically Saddam Hussein
Sutton
on a boat through a desert.
Brittany
Yeah. Getting almost run over by a giant ball after I picked up that trinket in the cave. If something happened.
Sutton
Stymied again and again, trying to rob Macaulay Culkin's home.
Brittany
Oh, my God, those two velociraptors in that kitchen. Oh, God.
Sutton
That time that Richard's gear best friend called me a hooker and tried to bang me at a wedding.
Brittany
Running away from the feds, but thankfully flying up in my bicycle against the backdrop of a moon,
Sutton
rescuing Princess Leia from that big blobby thing.
Brittany
It's been a lot and, you know, thankfully, if something I. I know that it takes a lot to rattle me. Okay.
Sutton
Whoa.
Brittany
Sorry, just a spider. But if something happens, you know how people get excited and are like, oh, my God, I've always gone quiet. You know? You know that thing when people get excited and they're like, oh, my God. Yeah, I'm a quiet type. Yeah.
Sutton
I don't do that.
Brittany
You know, I want. I want to find a way out. You know, I've had a lot of battles with Skeletor over the years, and the only way to do that is to become clear headed and strategic.
Sutton
You know how I stole he man's ear? I just stayed quiet. Billy went to sleep.
Brittany
I look, I look. When I just looked at the back of that yacht and I said, I have the power.
Sutton
So she's like, ah, you know, it's just a crack going along the whole boat. That's repairable. I just saw a Titanic. A crack is a big deal. Little water Gets in there, you're all dead. I'm just warning you now.
Brittany
Yeah, it's over. Sandy's like, okay, look, what did you. Did you look up and we were right there? Is that what happened? I'm trying to give you an excuse on camera. And he's like, half a. Half a meter. A meter. I say, okay, you know what? I'm gonna push you in the water if you say the F word again. No more saying that. It's like, sorry. It's like, you know, you gotta learn. Okay? Do not let this bother you because I'm sick of you cursing. So don't let this bother you. You're the leader of a team. You don't have to be down, okay? It's superficial. We still need to pick up charter tomorrow. Correct the mistake, be better tomorrow. Understood? Capiche?
Sutton
But I can't believe I did that. I'm suddenly. Do you want me to scream at you?
Brittany
Oh, my God, look, it's Captain Sandy calling.
Sutton
Why is my ringer not off? It's an iPad. I didn't know even know it rang. And guess what, guess what, Guess what. I'm gonna stay quiet about it.
Brittany
You know what? You know. You know, I don't get rattled anymore by phone calls. Even when I do put it on. Do not disturb. I know you don't. Happens to me all the time.
Sutton
It's already on. Do not disturb.
Brittany
It on. Do not disturb.
Sutton
Geez.
Brittany
And it's like, guess what I want. Guess what, Ronnie? Today's been a bad day for you. Do not disturb. People are like, we're gonna disturb him no matter what.
Sutton
They're coming for me. It has been.
Brittany
Yeah.
Sutton
The hotel. The hotel came to clean my room because it's. It's like an apartment hotel. So you only get one day where they come in and I put do not disturb on there so I could sleep. Like, knock, knock, ring, ring. Knock, knock, ring, ring. Oh, we needed to clean your room, but we see you have a do not disturb thing on. I was like, yeah, so you did see that. So just ignoring that now. All right, well, come on in. Come on.
Brittany
Yeah, please go lay down. That makes me so mad. That makes me so mad. Full mad.
Sutton
I guess it's better than just not cleaning it because trust me, that room needed it. I was like, look, for M and M's. There are M and M's all over the place. I spilled some M and M's. I think I got them all.
Brittany
I got woken up at 7am the day after our cabaret, and by a text Message. It was my fault because I forgot to put my phone on silent because I passed out because I was so exhausted, I passed out. It's not a happy camper, guys.
Sutton
They'll get you, so stay calm, okay?
Brittany
I thought.
Sutton
He's like. But I'm disappointed. She's like, I'll murder you. You stay calm. I'm cutting your throat. I'm gonna kill your baby, too. You shut the up, or your whole family's dead. He's like, okay. Geez. Okay. Wow. Back to it. Everybody's safe here. Except you and your goddamn family. If you say one more thing. All right, everybody, let's go take a nap.
Brittany
Okay, well, before this. This experience is over, let me go complain to Stipe, our port liaison. Stipe, I just want to say, have you found your religion yet besides the Michael Stipe joke? So I'm sure you heard that I'm standing in the place where you lived, geek. I can't stop myself. But we are not shiny, happy people. Oh, God. That's three. I can't do any more rules of three unless I can get to five. Do I have two more in me? But there were two party boats blaring music after curfew at 8pm Right?
Sutton
Are you complaining to me after you just let Gloria out of the. Out of the vortex. The rhythm got her for a reason. She's like, sorry. Jeez.
Brittany
Do you know we have an ordinance here that if you're. If Gloria Stefan's in the. In the vicinity, you can't make Michael Stipe jokes. Two genres that do not mix.
Sutton
So Nathan continues to sulk, and Luke sees Joy, and he's like, hey, do you ever get a break? She's like, in 45 days,
Brittany
by then, I will have taken this knife and dragged it from your chin all the way down to your ball sack.
Sutton
And Joe's like, oh, these. These beds are so tiny.
Brittany
How am I supposed. I'm so sorry. Sarah, our producer, she just gave me this look, like, what are you guys talking about? Our sweet producer was like, what is happening here?
Sutton
What the are these guys doing? Well, so now it's the next morning, 7:01am okay, five hours before charter. And Nathan comes to the bridge, and he's like, good morning. He's like, you're really taking it like a champ, aren't you? I was like, God, last night. We still talking about that? All right, that's it. Get over here. I've got a straight razor. Your throat's mine.
Brittany
It's like, no, I was talking about the Fact that you're somehow dangling diagonally off that chair. Well, you know, it takes a while to get to understand these things.
Sutton
It's like, all right, let it go already. Okay, so here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna have people here, people there, people on the bow, people hanging upside down, people under the water, under the boat. You know, that'll be fun. See if they can hold their breath. All right, well, we'll bring Asa on the bow. That'll free up your hands, Kalisha.
Brittany
So the caller and Nathan basically said he's like, okay with docking. We have to. We're gonna. We're gonna have. I'm gonna need you to be on the bow. He needs to be on radio also. Furthermore, as we come into the dock, I'm gonna need everyone who's out there on the deck to dance, Do a little dance to Blame it on the Sunshine. It's a. It's a fun song if you think about it. Don't blame it on the boogie. Blame it on the sunshine. Oh, no, actually, I'm sorry. Don't blame it on sunshine. Blame it on the boogie. It's very confusing on who you're supposed to blame at any given moment. No problem.
Sutton
I used to be a dickhead. All right, so now it's preference sheet meeting time, and we're doing the separate thing where Asia has prep sheet meeting with her people, and then captain has it with the deck people for whatever reason.
Brittany
But now we're getting a little bit of. They've been experimenting with ways to jazz up the preference sheet meeting, which I don't know why they need to. I think it's fine. But on Blow Deck down under, we would get like, a whole big video segment, which I enjoyed. Now we're getting kind of like a small video segment where they're like, she's Sandy Candy. Sandy is like, hey, Angela and Matt, they sent us a video. Who? Okay, gather round. Let's see these two. Give a video. So we see this woman, Angie, Angela. And she's like, hi, Captain Sandy. We produce these shows on the Las Vegas strip, and we're celebrating our 23rd year x burlesque, x rocks, and x country. And we're bringing the ex girls with us to celebrate.
Sutton
I love a classy triple x. A nice, classy charter.
Brittany
It is funny. I forget that sometimes. Like, like, on Blow Deck down under, we had so many groups of gay men come on as guests. Like, it was, like, a lot of gays this season, and I forget that on Blow Deck Med we often get like bikini girls instead and. Right. Or am I just making that up?
Sutton
I don't know. Don't you feel like I'll trust you?
Brittany
Isn't blow deck med the one where there's like a lot of like there's like a skeevy guy who winds up taking photos like women in bikinis.
Sutton
DVR erased. There are too many below decks.
Brittany
Someone look that up. I may be. I may be making a theory based off of nothing.
Sutton
Yeah. No, I. That stuff is. It's. It's too much for me. So it's all women in one man. Guys. And Cooper's like a lot. So Asia's meeting. She's like on day one. They want to kind of play lunch and make the most of the yacht water toys.
Brittany
Joy goes something lat sounds boring. I want to make onion soup. So Genevieve is like the guests would love to experience a traditional Croatian meal with white glove service. I love that. I love that a little bit more than everyone else here. I guess I just like I'm a more successful purser person. Right.
Sutton
Yeah. So back to Sandy Cooper's like on the second morning. Angela and Matt want to treat their team of girls to the island of la croon. That's lockrum Stupid.
Brittany
I think stupid corn fed. Let me guessing person.
Sutton
Yeah. Let me guess. You played football.
Brittany
Okay.
Sutton
Knew it.
Brittany
Calv. I have to look room the girl. The group will come back for an extravagant Las Vegas themed dinner to give thanks back to their best performers at the center of this exist.
Sutton
So 2 hours until guest arrival. So it's just like, oh, starting when we've already crashed the boat. That could be perceived as a bad omen. But I'm looking at it as we've set the bar so low we can only go up from here. Businesses needs to go away well because it's about to be me wedding.
Brittany
And also Asia. Asia's always done this thing. But now it's even more severe than ever before. In her interviews, she is bending over so much that I feel like she's on one of those like boats that's going under a very low bridge. She's like, it's beautiful.
Sutton
Commercials. Here comes one right now.
Brittany
Summer always changes how I'd get dressed. I want pieces that feel lighter and more breathable. Things that are easier, easy but still pull together.
Sutton
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Brittany
Quint's European linen pants and shirts are the perfect warm weather upgrade to add to your rotation. Starting at just $34, their tees are
Sutton
soft and easy to wear. And their lightweight cotton sweaters are perfect for cooler summer night.
Brittany
Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.
Sutton
They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup.
Brittany
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Sutton
so everybody lines up to greet the guests. And Cooper's like, this is charter yachting. All right. Look at all these light.
Brittany
Yeah. And then the crew gets goes the guests come on. Crew gets changed, Asia gives the tour and Joe and Cooper are getting changed their cabin. And Joe's like, it's very hot. You know what that means though? Minimal clothing for the females. If I were boson, I would make sure that although wear bikinis.
Sutton
I'm just here to respect people that's all I care about. I'll see a bunch of ladies like that. And I just say, respect. I'm here to respect every My mama would would me otherwise.
Brittany
So then he's really. He's so corn fed, it's crazy. So Nathan's telling everyone to change, and the stews are serving snacks on the sun deck. And then Sandy's like, okay, Nathan, ready to go? Let's get this party started. Gosh, I really can't stop doing that Macarena. I really have been gotten by that rhythm.
Sutton
So Nathan is giving orders, and Cooper's like, wow, you're like my deck daddy. Nathan's like, like, oh, Jesus. Jesus Christ, man. Tech daddy sounds like I should be wearing leather and a gimp mask.
Brittany
And so, chop, chop, do it.
Sutton
You've heard your instructions, so anchor up. The women are eating on the sun deck. Joy is with some of the stews in the galley. And Kaylee's screaming, joy to the world. Food is sick. It's so good, I could scream.
Brittany
Oh, my God. This is the moment where I was like, I think I do not like this person. She was just like. Everyone was just trying to focus on work, and she's doing, like, a cheer routine while doing Joy to the world. Like, none of it made sense. It was all annoying.
Sutton
Yeah, she's a very high energy lady.
Brittany
Yeah, this one.
Sutton
So Asia is helping the deck crew and talking about how she used to be a deckhand. Everything goes smoothly. People are asking for a lemon drops because of course they are.
Brittany
Yeah.
Sutton
And now they're gonna go change into our bikinis.
Brittany
Yeah. And so Nathan tells Joe he wants the toys out of as fast as possible. And Joe goes, yeah, just no more accidents. Nathan's like, right, I'm just hitting the obvious. I just really don't want to scratch the boat again. Like, you're taking the toys out. Nothing to do with what happened on the deck.
Sutton
Oh, yeah. So it's just checking on dinner, and she's asking how many courses there are. She's like, three zucchini rolls, like a moose bush lamb for four, and a calamari risotto for the other four people. Then raspberry hot dessert.
Brittany
It will be actual hearts of men who've betrayed me coated in raspberry sauce. So she says that the guests want some canopies. And he's like. She's like, maybe they are not allowed to eat. It's very annoying because I'm eager to show my talent to the guests. I mean, my Picasso era, you know, I Want to impress the world.
Sutton
So Nathan's radioing Joe, and Joe's like, nathan, I have my hands full. He's like, it's taken seven years. I know. Respectfully, this is an organization issue. Like, we haven't got order. Is anybody even in charge here? Oh, geez. I can't even work when the boat is so scratched.
Brittany
So Nathan's like, what the fuck, Joel? I know things are a little different between us now, but if it gets any worse, we have to have conversations.
Sutton
Where's our sun cream? Are we supposed to all die of skin cancer because our leader can't even give us sun cream? Ah. I'm dying. Ah.
Brittany
So the guests want dinner at 8, and they start playing in the water toys. And Cooper's driving them around this jet skis going around. And Joe's talking to Kaylee and about, like, food. Like, you know, if there's any food left as she's doing the dishes. And Kaylee's like, oh, wait, I really fed him, like, a dog. And Joe's like, woof, woof. Oh, that's right. Because he comes in and he comes around the corner and he's like, I'm really hungry. Could someone please put some food in my mouth? And so Kaylee puts, like, a pastry in his mouth, and he just, like. He, like, chomps down on it. And then whatever isn't in there just, like, falls out into her hand. And she's like, well, he's like an actual dog.
Sutton
Yeah. Santa Fe's like, oh, my God. What the fuck? Mercers would never do this. So we go to the galley and dinner's at 8, and just like, great. I need the girls to be ready before we send down the food or I lose my tempo.
Brittany
I really feel like when she loses her temper, we should all steer clear.
Sutton
I cannot wait for her to lose her temper.
Brittany
Her name is Joy. It's going to be terrible.
Sutton
This is the most excited I've been for a cast mate in a long time. I think she has so much promise. And they're just like, oh, I'll have a waiting.
Brittany
She's scary. I'm a Ulbert. People called me the Little Dragon. When I will say service and the girl will not be in the galley, I will scream. Are you stupid? Stupid or what? Let's hope with Asia we match good together and have the same standard, because. So let's see. On the 13th.
Sutton
Yeah. So now Nathan and Cooper are helping guests with water toys. And Nathan's like, cooper, did you tell the guests to stay around the Boat. He's like, no, like, well, same thing. I told you. It's the same thing. You need to tell the guests. So go tell him. He's like, jeez, the ways. Jeez.
Brittany
And you're tall.
Sutton
Hey, guess you're. Y' all are tall. Damn. What you said to say the same thing you said to me.
Brittany
And now it's time for Below Deck's version of the Thunderdome. It's a tablescaping fight.
Sutton
Oh, my God.
Brittany
Two women enter, one women leave.
Sutton
And some doilies. Yeah. Kaylee, the energetic blonde lady, is like, jin, you can help us out with this. I think it's going to be quite simple. Scape I admired, literally just, like, gold candles everywhere, you know, Tablescapes. I'm so good at them. I love tablescapes. I dream of tablescapes. The other day, I was at a restaurant. They asked me what I wanted to eat. I said, a tablescape. They actually served it. It chipped a tooth but was worth it.
Brittany
So Genevieve says maybe I'm being dramatic, but it feels like Kaylee is trying to take charge of this.
Sutton
Well, I used to be a wedding coordinator, so, you know, themes, table, decor going a bit too crazy. That's my jam. It's where I belong. You know, people proposing, even though the bride is standing right there. It's just sort of out girls, you know, gorgeous, talented, and a tablescape artist.
Brittany
I have done hundreds of tablescapes. So Kaylee being, like, let me take charge of the situation. It's like going to Captain Sandy and trying to tell her how to dock the damn boat. I'm like, well, might not be the
Sutton
worst thing I was going to say. This is not the episode to say that.
Brittany
And we're seeing, like, comparative photos of their tablescapes over the years, which is really fun. I'm like, ooh, tablescape territory fights.
Sutton
This is also Captain Sandy's wet drain. To have two people fighting over, like, oh, my God, I want to do the tablescapes.
Brittany
The tablescapes are so extra. I feel like as a charter guest, I don't think I would need a tablescape. It's, like, nice, but, like, I don't think I need all, like, I. I would rather my students spend that time cleaning than, like, putting, you know, tweel on a table, you know, Like, I
Sutton
mean, it's the thing, though. It's like a big. It's an art form. Look at all the pictures. They have 100, like, their whole, you
Brittany
know, you know, our friend Derek, a book. Our friend Daria, she Puts together an amazing tablescape. And so if I ever have, like, a potluck and she comes over, she makes a. She makes a beautiful tablescape. She does a great job. It's so wonderful and amazing, but, like, it's also like. It's. It doesn't take like, three hours, and she does. And it make. It looks beautiful and refined. And here they, like, do it for, like, hours and hours. And I'm like, they're putting pebbles everywhere. I'm like. Like, I would. I just. If I'm a charter guest, I'm gonna say, you don't have to do this. You can, like, take this moment to get rest.
Sutton
It's like the shot put. Okay?
Brittany
You see that?
Sutton
And you're just like, why? I mean, good for you.
Brittany
But, like, who does that?
Sutton
Like, who wakes up as a kid and they're like, that's what I'm gonna do, the shot put. But, you know, good for you.
Brittany
It happens.
Sutton
So now Nathan and Matt are out on the deck and talking about the girls, of course. And Nathan's like, well, I have a partner now and a baby. And Matt's like, really? Well, is that. Oh, Emily, the blonde from France. She just had a baby and she looks great. Oh, no, this is the guest, right? Okay, so the guest is like, you excited? I'm.
Brittany
Something about shot putting. My friend Elena from college was a shot put person.
Sutton
Sorry, Elena. And Daria, because Ben just called you useless.
Brittany
No, I said no. Daria does it quick.
Sutton
I'm kidding.
Brittany
Daria does a great job.
Sutton
I just see. I just see that as a useless job. I'm just kidding.
Brittany
She can do it. She can do it quickly and efficiently. And on these shows, it's not wasting your time.
Sutton
Okay. And thank you for giving me a moment to reset, because I was wrong. So this is the main guy that lead, whatever guest. So he's like, are you excited about the girls? Nathan says he has a partner and a baby. And he's like, really? Because Emily, that blonde from France, she just had a baby. She looks great. Her tits got better, they got bigger. Now they stay a little firmer. Know what I mean? He's like, oh, my God. Jesus Christ, man.
Brittany
I've not really heard that.
Sutton
That.
Brittany
That's always the experience after. After nursing a baby.
Sutton
What a thing to say. Like, who says that?
Brittany
I know. And our notion taker says, as a mother. No.
Sutton
Well, I guess, like, when they're still, like, full.
Brittany
Yeah, maybe. I mean, I don't know.
Sutton
Talk about some pregnant ladies. Boobs. God bless their hearts. But at least this guy's being positive.
Brittany
Yeah.
Sutton
Not like most of the guys on this show.
Brittany
Sure. I guess he's also being gross. So. Cat.
Sutton
Yeah, but I'm just saying, at least he's positive while he's not like, yeah, she just had a baby. So we put her out to pastor. He's like, she just had a baby. And she's even hotter now.
Brittany
Yeah. Oh, okay. See?
Sutton
There you go.
Brittany
So Cat then takes Asia. She's like, oh, my God. Do you want to see the table that I made? So it's just like, oh, my God, that looks amazing.
Sutton
Who did this? And.
Brittany
And so Cat is like, oh, actually, I saw. I said that Cat made it, but it was Kaylee. So Cat's like, oh, Kaylee did it. It was her vision. And so now Asia's like, by the way, I want everyone in the boat to know that the table is gorgeous. Well done. And I'm sure this won't upset anyone who ever did this as a genius. And everyone should always take order from
Sutton
the person who made this beautiful tablescape. And Kelly's like, oh, my God, stop. But I couldn't have done it with that cat. And Genevieve as well. Seriously, my right girl, stand behind me and take a bat behind me. Great. Genevieve was like, I'm an only child. And my mom likes to say, I have a problem competing with other people. I mean, well, they don't know that we have a competition going on. I like, it's literally my head, but there is an alarm going off in my head. Okay. And that's the fake bitch alarm. Because she knows what she's doing. She wants to be second student. I don't like this at all.
Brittany
I love her spiraling already.
Sutton
Already. It's so funny. And then she walks upstairs.
Brittany
I was like, she's got a little bit of what's her face. And it. The Dutch girl who would fight on islands with her sister.
Sutton
Yeah. She's like, my dad used to take me and my sisters and drop us off on a deserted island until one of us beat the out of each other.
Brittany
What was her name? Like Sunday or holiday?
Sutton
Yeah, Rainbow.
Brittany
Rainbow. Sunday.
Sutton
Sunday.
Brittany
Close.
Sutton
It is a typo. Sunday. And it's spelled with an e at the end, wasn't it?
Brittany
Yeah, no, it was like, rainbow. Whatever. So.
Sutton
So now they just go to the table, and they're like, oh, my God, you guys. Is it, like a full moon? We should walk over here and see if it's a farming. It's a full moon. And then they're showing Their butts. Because their butts are out of their dresses. Oh, my God. Yeah. In heart shapes.
Brittany
Yeah, they got.
Sutton
It's.
Brittany
You know, it's exciting. So then Joe texts his mom. He's like, nathan's on the boat. And then Nathan is with Sandy. And Nathan's like, how do you think today I want? She's like, well, went well. I mean, this. This chair won't stop spinning. I'm getting a little dizzy. But other than that, I think it's been great.
Sutton
So Sandy's like, well, I mean, it went well, considering. He's like, yesterday. Considering yesterday when I cracked the boat. Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna kill you, you goddamn flight. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We can improve. And she's like, eat your meal. Just eat your meal. You're finish whiny, baby.
Brittany
The guests love the table setting, and then they're being served food. So Joy's like, good evening, madame, messieurs, peasant people who don't like Picasso's offerings. Here comes your canape dinner. I thought you'd start the menu tonight with some asbar, which is eggplant spread with bell pepper and zucchini. Eat it if you can, but I'd rather shove it in your face. Because you're grateful for my art, I
Sutton
wanted to serve you something you receive in your text from every man that comes across from you. Eggplant. Enjoy. So Matt's like, that's really good for a non pregnant lady. And Katie's like, oh, my God. Like, I really don't like eggplant, but this is like really good.
Brittany
So Genevieve and Cat are cleaning dishes or something. And Cat's like, are you. How you doing? And Genevieve is like, good. It's an interesting first charter. I don't like being told what to do. So she is now going to start her. Her campaign.
Sutton
Yeah,
Brittany
Kaylee, or whatever her name is
Sutton
like the nicest person in the world by the way. This girl, it's like the sweetest person ever born. She's like, yeah, I don't like being told what to do. And she says, who? Who's who did that? She's like, Kaylee, just. Yeah, I don't with that. I would say something before she gets on your nerves. So I like Cat. Yeah, Cat's gonna stir.
Brittany
Yeah, exactly. I mean, Kaylee is kind of annoying, but also she seems very nice. So now then, the guests are joke with Asia about like teaching her how to like, make her boobies spin tassels. And then Luke is helping Genevieve wash dishes and now it's time to clear. And they all like the. Everyone like the food. And then they're serving, like some risotto and lamb and all this good stuff. So now we go back down to the pantry as Genevieve and Kaylee. And Kaylee is like, oh, by the way, the white gloves can just go in that little bag over there. You just can feel the flames coming out of Genevieve's eyes. About the white glove instructions.
Sutton
Yeah. Because at first I was like, wow, Genevieve is really just being too sensitive. Like, this girl didn't do anything wrong. But then they cut. Now, from now on does. She does become really bossy. And it's funny. She's like, you put the water gloves over there. She's like, if I would have told my senior stew on any of my previous posts what to do, I literally would have been bitch slapped in the face. Yeah, but you're not the senior stew.
Brittany
You're not. But she has more experience. I can kind of understand her frustration because she's like, I'm sure in her mind, she's like, I know where they go, but. Yeah, but it's also like, hilarious to see this. This person who comes on super ambitious. Like, what was her name with the. I'm sorry, I'm asking all the trivia for below deck. Like, or. Or Leon or. Or whatever her name was who was on Blood Deck Adventure. And she was, like, really ambitious. And she first was like. She kept on, like, hooking up with, like, higher and higher people on the boat.
Sutton
Anyway, so sorry. It's like, I haven't even been here.
Brittany
She used to be in the circus.
Sutton
Oh, yeah.
Brittany
I was like a silt walker.
Sutton
Oh, yes. Yes.
Brittany
She's like, why would you hook up with a boat when you can hook up the captain? She was crazy.
Sutton
I don't remember that about her. But I do remember making a lot of circus jokes about that chick.
Brittany
Yeah.
Sutton
So Genevieve calls her mom and she's like, I mean, there's so much hierarchy on about. And Asia hasn't picked the second stew. But I do have more experience, like, years on this girl Kaylee.
Brittany
Okay?
Sutton
And this girl today is like, barking orders at me like, we should do this and we should do that. And her mom, who knows her very well, goes us. Honey, just be cool. Be cool. It's better to be a leader with calmness. Don't get kicked out of another school, please. I know we can't afford to pay another year's tuition at another private school.
Brittany
Please, honey, we had such high hopes for you at Dalton and she's like, listen, honey. It's like what I always tell my staff of 40 people. It's better to be a leader with calmness. Is that what you tell your staff? Oh, you don't have a staff, honey.
Sutton
Oh, okay. Well, listen, I always will support your single stripe. Now just stay calm, okay?
Brittany
We can't wait for you to be a purser someday.
Sutton
So she's like, I've been put to put too much into this to be taking direction. Direction from a green stew I've never tolerated on any of my boats, and I'm sure as hell not gonna tolerate it now. You're in service. Your job is literally to be bossed around. Calm down.
Brittany
She was spiraling so early.
Sutton
She's folding a towel. She's like.
Brittany
So then Genevieve is giving herself a pep. Pep talk. She's like, I am great. I am sexy. I'm so good at my job. Like, what? I feel like this girl went to, like, Smith College and just got bullied the entire time she was there. She is really going through it. So now Kaylee and Cat are talking and kills. Like, is Gina okay? She didn't look very happy, and I was like, oh, my God, she hates my guts. It happens a lot when you're good at tablescapes, though. It's the burden of success.
Sutton
Well, bet she wishes she could table escape me. But unfortunately, we're working together, and Cat's like, she thinks she hates you. She's like, she does now. Oh, God. And Kate's like, oh, wow, shit's gonna happen. I'm not gonna feed into that unless it's funny, and I want to see what happens. Yes, Cat, that's our girl right there. Yes, Cat.
Brittany
So the guests love dinner. They love dessert. The dessert. The. The raspberry hearts are really cool. They're the. These big hearts with, like, a mirror glaze on them, actually. And then we see Nathan and Joe, and Nathan is like. He's like, yes, sir. But, like, he does. Yes, sir. In a way that's like, whatever. And then Nathan's like, listen, I don't appreciate the energy or whatever these past two days. I want it professional. We'll smash it this season. And that's where I lay with it. Just do a deck check, and then we're done. Okay.
Sutton
Like, oh, go do a deck check now. What the. What the, mate? Because Nate just walks away. He's like, what the mate? Give me a break.
Brittany
So then in the galley, Asia is like, congratulations, Joy, on your first day. Are you happy with this service? I don't have anything to say, so I guess I'm happy first.
Sutton
You know, it was perfect, amazing. It's really a lot of pressure off my shoulders because she matched with my standards. So good. So I like that. That was good. I want them to get along. But then Joy to, like, literally rip everybody else.
Brittany
Yeah. Yeah. That's what I love that. So then Joe is mumbling. He's. He is doing a deck check. He's like this. So this guy who's dedicated himself to the craft of being a bosun or whatever, suddenly is, like, annoyed at having to do a basic job on this boat. And so now we go into Joe and Cooper's cabin, and Joe, afterwards, he goes in the cabin and he's like, I'm gonna be very open with you because I'm an open man. I've got a lot of personal shit with Nathan, and it's hard. So now here, he's gonna go and try to turn the deck, the deck crew against Cooper's.
Sutton
Like, I'm pretty open, too. I'm gonna be open with you. I played football. We know.
Brittany
Could you please stop doing the splits? There's not enough room in here.
Sutton
Yeah, Football face. So Joe's like, my number one goal this season is to prove to Captain Sandy that I'm ready to take the next step in my career. So I want to be boats in someday and then captain. But let me tell you, I'm gonna have a tough time doing that with Nathan in charge. So let's get rid of him.
Brittany
So then Gail is on the phone with Nathan. Hello, Bob. How you boys? How you doing? Well. And he's like, I just don't trust Joe. So he's a issue. He wants to step on toes. And he's mentioned a few times how I've been bosom, but I'm like, you have an alternative motive here or ulterior, but that's fine.
Sutton
Yeah. Oh, well, he always has an alternative motive. That's Joe. He's like, well, I don't trust him. And I'm choosing Luke as the lead deckhand, and I'm telling Captain Sandy tomorrow, and Joe's gonna be pest, and I don't care. So is that fair that he's just automatically gonna choose somebody else just because he doesn't like Joe?
Brittany
Well, I don't know what Luke's experience is. Joe is saying that he has a lot, a lot of experience now, but also
Sutton
say that he's the one who can't keep a job. And he's new to Yachting.
Brittany
Exactly. He's new to yachting. But Nathan also probably doesn't want to put someone at number two who's going to be undermining him. And Joe's already doing that.
Sutton
Yeah. And just smarting thank you to him and stuff. Like you can't put somebody.
Brittany
You can't have someone who's gonna be an underminer in this. In. In the second position. Well, we'll see what happens. We'll see. Fun little premiere. Back to it.
Sutton
All right, everybody. Well, thank you so much for being here. We will talk to you next time.
Brittany
Bye. Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Sutton
Our way is the Amber way.
Brittany
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Claire. Clap.
Sutton
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
Brittany
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Sutton
Sip some scotch with Jessica Trot cats. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.
Brittany
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Sutton
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera. Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
Brittany
This is Living with Michelle Vivian.
Sutton
I love Aya. Olivia Williamson.
Brittany
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Sutton
Yes, we canna. It's Savannah.
Brittany
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Sutton
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get
Brittany
us 10 cc's of Betsy MD we're
Sutton
taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Brittany
Let's get real with K. Caitlin o'. Neill.
Sutton
Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Brittany
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds A candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.
Sutton
Have a kebab with K. Rob.
Brittany
My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. Let's get Savage with Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick Sick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi, always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlas Rogers, the incredible edible Matthew sisters.
Sutton
She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Charouse. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.
Brittany
She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
Sutton
We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out
Brittany
of a can and Anthony. Please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing Strike a pose.
Sutton
It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.
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Brittany
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Guest Host
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Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Original Air Date: June 9, 2026
In this raucous part-two recap, Ben and Ronnie dive headlong into the second half of Below Deck Mediterranean’s Season 11 premiere. The hosts bring their signature blend of snark, affection, and Bravo-lore expertise as they break down the crew's chaotic first prep sail, a literal boat crash, tablescaping drama, and the beginning of some key (and classic) “Below Deck” character feuds. The recap is peppered with trademark impressions, Bravo in-jokes, and the philosophical question: why does anyone care so much about a tablescape?
[01:24–04:41]
“God, maintain that energy for the next charter and the charter after that, the charter after that. In 70 years I want to look at you just sitting there smiling the exact same way.” (Sutton, 02:03)
“I’m defending the old boat. These damn kids come in here with their mushroom hair. These damn boats.” (Sutton, 04:21)
[05:41–09:57]
“I grew up in a New York City in a wealthy neighborhood… my parents were successful, and I want to be more successful than them. By running HR on a boat.” (Brittany, 06:21)
“He made mistakes. I didn’t forgive. I cook him. I cooked the man.” (Sutton, 10:33)
[11:54–17:04]
“No one can hear anything over the sound of Love Shack… Am I doing the Macarena or am I parking the boat?” (Brittany, 15:16)
“Can you hear me? Two meters. Two meters. A boom.” (Sutton, 15:55)
“I’m going to get fired. Then I can’t provide for my family. My heart is beating out of my chest.” (Brittany, 16:03)
“You know, I want to find a way out. I’ve had a lot of battles with Skeletor over the years, and the only way to do that is to become clear-headed and strategic.” (Brittany & Sutton, 18:44)
[23:17–40:58]
“It feels like Kaylee is trying to take charge of this. I’ve done hundreds of tablescapes… it’s like going to Captain Sandy and trying to tell her how to dock the damn boat.” (Brittany, 36:10)
“Cat’s gonna stir… Yes, Cat, that’s our girl right there.” (Brittany, 47:19)
[42:32–50:40]
“Just be cool. It’s better to be a leader with calmness… please don’t get kicked out of another school.” (Brittany, 46:02)
The hosts delight in this accidental private school saga.
“I want it professional. We’ll smash it this season. And that’s where I lay with it.” (Nathan, 48:08)
Ben and Ronnie remain quick-witted, irreverent, and Bravo-nerd adjacent throughout, oscillating between detail-oriented snark (“I call that the fake bitch alarm,” Sutton, 40:58), wild digressions (inventing Reginald G. Alarm Clock), and genuine appreciation for production upgrades (tablescape montage!). They land recurring jokes around Sandy’s stoicism, the existential futility of deckhand ambition, and the canon of ridiculous Below Deck personalities.
For listeners new and returning, this episode delivers all the Crappens touchstones—quotable lines, meta analysis of Bravo’s reality formula, impressions galore, and a running tally of career crises (real and imagined) on the high seas.