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Ronnie Caram
Some rituals start with a candle, others with a deep breath. This one starts when the air shifts. The Scent of Calm Collection from the Pura Calm Partnership is three fragrances designed with sensory science to ground your space and quiet your mind.
Ben Mandelker
Sleep Story A lavender drift into deep rest. Breathe Bubble a mindful reset wrapped in white tea and cashmere. Soundscape a fresh clearing rush that restores your energy.
Ronnie Caram
Ground your space, quiet your mind. Explore the Sense of calm collection@pura.com Calm this episode is sponsored by Klarna. You know when you buy something practical like groceries, plane tickets, or honestly, I just did a whole I need a new summer clothes because apparently none of last year's clothes survived my emotional support snacking era situation. And you realize you're not thinking about what you're buying but how you're paying for it.
Ben Mandelker
I've actually been using Klarna for that because it gives you options. You can pay now, later, or over time, depending on how you want to handle it. Sometimes I'll split something into a few payments so I don't have to deal with it all at once. And I like that. You know, I like that everything's super clear in the app. You always know what you owe and when, so there aren't weird surprises.
Ronnie Caram
And it's not just for huge purchases either. I've used it for everyday stuff. And you can even get cash back and deals in the Klarna app, which honestly feels like kind of a smarter way to handle spending day to day. Less pressure, more flexibility.
Ben Mandelker
Download the Klarna app today or visit klarna.com to learn more.
Ronnie Caram
California Resident loans made her arranged pursuant to a California Financing law license and MLS number 1353190 Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cashback points Limitations, Terms and conditions apply.
Ben Mandelker
Hello and welcome to Watch our Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?
Ronnie Caram
Well hello. How are you?
Ben Mandelker
I am fabulous. It's Tuesday. It's a big, big night of TV tonight. The summer house aftermath thing is going to air. We are so excited to talk about it. That'll be tomorrow of course though, even though some of us may have already seen it and we will just keep our mouths shut until then. But today it's below Deck Med. Very exciting. Join us on Patreon patreon.com crappin for bonus episodes ad free Listening Free Newsletter Video Crap on demand. You can watch us not just listen the full schmiggi. Okay, Discord. It's great. It's a whole community. It's a whole life. It's a whole full Crabbins experience over there. So come join us for that. And I just want to say, also, and some of you know, I have a. I have a little substack on the side where I talk about food, and I wrote a very lengthy cookbook review over the weekend for a cookbook called Better at Home by Clue Henry. And it's such a good cookbook. So I encourage you all to go check it out and read my review, mainly because I put a lot of time into it on this one. So that's nbd.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. Those are great. My aunties all are huge fans.
Ben Mandelker
Thank you.
Ronnie Caram
When SPAN's new newsletter coming, I'm like, shut up. You're like, I not heard about me and my piano recital that I'm giving in my home.
Ben Mandelker
Feel like a little kid. You're like. Like, I literally write a newsletter every single week.
Ronnie Caram
I learned how to play Willie Nelson.
Ben Mandelker
What? What?
Ronnie Caram
What are you going to say about that? Send it to your voicemail. Auntie from hell.
Ben Mandelker
Listen, But I made chicken with olives.
Ronnie Caram
They love it.
Ben Mandelker
They really.
Ronnie Caram
It's a great. It is a good newsletter. I subscribe to it as well. Also, I was on Sarah Gailey's podcast, and these girls, we talked for two hours about Summer House Part 3 reunion and Jesse's timeline and all that good stuff. So if you need even more Summer house in your life, it's out today. So go check it out. Wow.
Ben Mandelker
That's huge. So, yeah, check out all our little side. Our little side things that we've been up to. And now let's focus on the main. The main event, which is hopping on this yacht in the Med in Croatia, Dubrovnik. So she went to Dipravnik. Auntie W. A yada, yada, yada. If you know that song, tell Norma. So the point is, we're in Croatia. It's night one.
Ronnie Caram
Norma calls it Schlubrovnik.
Ben Mandelker
She's gotta ring them bells. Taco Bells.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So here we are. Nathan is on the phone with Gail, pissed, because he feels pressure to name the obvious person lead deckhand, which would be Jill. But he doesn't want to because he doesn't like Joe now because Joe's a dick, but also because Nathan's pretending he's, like, a better person than Joe when we all know he's not really not that Much. I mean, if so, maybe a smidge. But, you know, Nathan has had a child now, and that makes him a good person in his eyes.
Ben Mandelker
Right, Exactly. I do think that Nathan is probably. I do think he's, like, a little better than Joe, although his reactions on social media last year were pretty disgusting. So he's definitely, like, losing on that front on, you know, like, xenophobic fronts. I think that's really bad. But he is. I think Joe is really bottom of the barrel when it comes to. When it comes to being a fuckboy on Bravo. Like, he's really one of the worst that's out there. So, you know, half. Half six of one, half a dozen of another. And that does not include brain cells with these guys. So Nathan is like. Yeah, he. He basically, you know, he knows probably deep down that Joe should be lead deckhand, but he doesn't want to do it. My solution is just don't. Don't. Don't give out.
Ronnie Caram
Why?
Ben Mandelker
Why would you be even giving this out on the first charter anyway? Don't you want to, like. Don't you want to see how they all fare? I mean, if Asia's not even giving out stripes yet, like, why. Even giving out lead deckhand? Yeah, like a real role.
Ronnie Caram
Do the decky thing. I mean, the service thing or the daisy thing. We're like, I'm gonna wait to see how you do, ladies, and then give stripes out later, you know? You know, but he doesn't. And he knows that Sandy wants it, and he knows that Joe deserves it, and it's pissing him off. So he's. He's got, like, anger issues. Like, he's handling it terribly. And also, you're not, like, you're not great at leading. First of all, we've seen multiple examples of this. And you kind of ran into the doc last week, and you're about to do it two more times today.
Ben Mandelker
So, yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Yay. Let's get into it.
Ben Mandelker
Really. He's really treating this yacht like it's like. It's like one of those inflatable raft things that you go down the lazy river with and you just bump into the side. Just float back.
Ronnie Caram
Yes.
Ben Mandelker
Into the.
Ronnie Caram
Just holding a beer, you know?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. He's, like, in a tube just waiting
Ronnie Caram
for me for the stop.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, he's not. I would say that his reservations are not totally without merit, because Joe is a total underminer, and he is a toxic person in the workplace. He will say and do things to get ahead if need be. If he feels threatened, he is he is going to. To launch a stealth campaign to poison the waters against you. So Nathan's not totally wrong for. For really not wanting this guy as his number two, but he's gonna launch that stealth campaign no matter what. So at least. At least put him in the position where he can be more helpful.
Ronnie Caram
Right. But be smart about it. And when Sandy is saying, why don't you want him as lead deckhand? Say, listen, we didn'. At the end of last season, he's already undermining with me, with the crew. He's already talking bad about me. He's already trying to, like, put his hands up and be like, your fault. He's doing a lot of undermining things. So that's making me cautious. But instead, Sandy asked him anything. He's like. And he just sweats and, like, tries to talk his, you know, tries, like, cute face his way into it. And it's like, that's just. It's bad leadership, you know? So despite how shitty Joe is, which Joe is shitty, and I think all the reasons you just gave are so correct, but the fact is, Nathan shouldn't really be leading. Nathan's not good at this.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
And Nathan would also be as much of a boy as Joe if he had had the opportunity, let's face it.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. He really should be called bad, young, unreliable Nathan. If you ask me, so.
Ronnie Caram
Person develop a baby. So he's like, well, you know, Joel will be Joel, but what if he gets in the way of my season? I want to have words with him. And Gail's like, fair enough. For your sake, I hope they sound. And he's like, I don't care. I want to pick someone I actually trust. I mean, look, I've got this guy. He's 35. He seems, like, motivational. I mean, I can't even believe he's 35. That's a senior citizen. He's still walking around. He could teach us all something.
Ben Mandelker
Could you believe it? I can't believe he even remembers my name. You know, I've been trying to feed him applesauce and prunes, but last year, you know, Joel was my lead deckhand. But this year, I don't feel comfortable doing that. I forgot that he was lead deckhand last year, so he's already been in this position. Okay, come on now. So after he's like, after everything we've gone through, my career is really important to me. I'm a young Bolson, and I want to carry on. We've crashed once already. We don't need to Crush again. I don't trust Joe. Like, okay, relax. Just put him in the position. We can all move on with our lives. We heard you. We've seen you. Like, none of us actually really care who gets to be the deckhand on this boat. So can we just, like, move the needle and get on with it?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So then we go to Joy cleaning the galley and talking to. I don't know, everyone's just cleaning and stuff. And of course, Asia's like, wow, amazing job, everybody. And Joy's like, you did amazing. Sleep tight, everybody. And she's blowing kisses. Meanwhile, Jen's like, who is she to say that? Who? Shelliff, we did a good job. So this Gen chick is like a young Tina Fey. I can only see Tina Fey's face.
Ben Mandelker
I think Victoria de Lesseps.
Ronnie Caram
Who's that?
Ben Mandelker
Personally, Victoria de Lesseps. Maybe like a mixture of Tina Fey and Victoria de Lesseps.
Ronnie Caram
Okay. But she's an. Okay. Her. Her face may look like Victoria de Lesseps and Tina Fey, but her soul looks like a puckered butthole.
Ben Mandelker
I know, but I think in a way that I like, it's like, I enjoy. Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Love it.
Ben Mandelker
Sometimes we assholes on the show and we're like, get off the boat. Sometimes we meet them and we're like, good for you.
Ronnie Caram
Stay forever. Yeah, stay forever and also become the captain because you are. You are unhinged and you're gonna. You're gonna lose it. And I'm here for it. I love every second. Apparently, Captain Sandy was on watch what happens saying that Joe, you know, Joe's a womanizer, and she doesn't like that. And that, like, one of the most unreliable people or. I don't know. I don't know the exact question because I can't remember Instagram posts that well. But basically, she just. Jen. Like, Jen's just that. Wow.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, wow.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. And she doesn't like her. So I guess Jen is going to get fired. And I'm already pissed off at Sandy for firing Jen. Come on.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, Yeah. I don't like that because. Because Jen is the sort of. That I really, really enjoy. And I loved her passive aggressive retribution for Kaylee taking charge of the tablescape. And the retribution happens right now when Jen is like, oh, hey, Kelly, just remember, no shoving of the placemats anywhere. I've noticed it a few times now. I was like, wow. Checking her placement. Placemat shoving frequency. That's. That's really like. And, you know, like, I. The thing is this. I was so happy for Jen in that moment. Because I know what it's like when someone pisses you off and you don't want to make a scene so you just try to get a small victory somewhere and you just make that tiny little thing and you're like, got him to you to like Jen. You know, that's just like, it's like, oh, like she should be carried through like the, the streets of the city. Like Katniss Everdeen with her fiery dress or something. She's like, I told her about the place. Yes, I won.
Ronnie Caram
Yes. And also she's getting revenge because she looks at Kaylee as being so bossy. She's like, who is she to boss me around? So she's like, oh, really? Well, the place nats are in a. They're being shoved somewhere and I don't like it. And Kaylee's like, placements. Placement. Shoved where? Now it's like the lunch ones
Ben Mandelker
can't even tell the difference between the two placemats. I mean, you make a tablescape and yet to you all the placemats are the same and then you shove them. I don't think think so.
Ronnie Caram
Well, wait, I put the, I put them neatly in the drawer under that. She was. Oh, really?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Well, it's supposed to go in the cupboard underneath the naked lady and it neatly. I mean, can anything be neat when it's in the wrong place?
Ben Mandelker
I, I think it's like pretty much like Yachting 101. Lunchtime placemats get put nicely under the naked lady in the cupboard. Everyone knows. Everyone knows.
Ronnie Caram
Also, could you be more specific? Because there was a half naked lady doing pole dancing on an umbrella. I was waiting for that umbrella.
Kat Nat
She's like, oh my God, pole dancing on an umbrella.
Ronnie Caram
And the other girls are like, yeah. I was like, please break. I just want that umbrella to break.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
And possibly stab her in the thigh because this is crazy. Get off the umbrella.
Ben Mandelker
This is the first resilient umbrella in the history of umbrellas. Normally umbrellas, like, if they have a chance to flop over or blow away or invert, they will take it. There's.
Ronnie Caram
They should remake the like platform with that umbrella because it is very. It's like unbreakable.
Ben Mandelker
It's like every umbrella known to man will just like flop out of its hold. You can have an umbrella that is in the. It's in the table, in the hole in the table and its base is in the sand block that holds it down. There's a gust of wind at the umbrella's like, I'm Out. It just, like, flies up and out and just goes off to the dock. I'm like, but this umbrella is fine. Strange.
Ronnie Caram
They should put. They should put this umbrella in Nathan's hands for every time he crashes the boat into something.
Ben Mandelker
I know. Yeah. Just, like. It's just. It's just a protective force. But, yeah, so the placemats. Not put. Not put in the right place. So Kelly's like, well, we were trying to keep the decorations together. That's why I did that. Sorry. It was, like, intentional. That was her way of saying, I'm so sorry that I did it properly. I'm so sorry.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. She knows what this girl's doing. And Jen tells us. I really feel like I'm the most qualified to be a second Stew because I do have years more experience than Kayla. And now she's lying for that. She's vying for that second Stew role by trying to be this happy little go lucky cheerleader. I do not trust it. I see you, smiley.
Ben Mandelker
I see you, future purser here. Out of the way. So then Jen is like, saying, like, I just need everything in its place. So let's put you in the trash can. Thank you.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, I knew everything in its place.
Kat Nat
Oh, yeah.
Ronnie Caram
There's the gates of hell opening for you to go.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, can we call up a shark so I can feed you to it? Thank you so much.
Ronnie Caram
And Kelly's like, oh, okay. Well, we'll learn. I. I'll learn how you like to work it, so just let me know. She has that, like, back scratching of her button, like, all right, I'm listening to Time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. My mom is the queen of the bargain find. I mean, you can't even compliment the woman without finding out how much something costs. I was like, mom, I really love your new dress. She's like, it was $5. I got this as a bargain, and I found the new place to make her so happy. I've never seen her so thrilled. It's called whatnot.
Ben Mandelker
You can go onto whatnot and, like, you can watch people sell things live and buy from it. That's the real magic of whatnot and why other apps really don't compare.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, it's real people, real conversations, and incredible deals on whatnot. You're connecting with sellers and other shoppers. It's like hanging out with a group that gets you. It's a fun way to shop.
Ben Mandelker
You almost never pay full price. You shop name brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry, and More all without the retail sticker. Shock the this is the best place to find great deals on products you love.
Ronnie Caram
There are amazing sellers with great taste going live 24. 7 and you can comment in real time and they'll show you a closeup of the clothes, explain the sizing and answer any question you might have.
Ben Mandelker
It's a really cool site. It's really cool app. I was just clicking around on it this morning. I mean I'm always on the hunt, believe it or not, for like interesting bunt pans and there were so many on there, shockingly. But people are selling so much stuff on there.
Ronnie Caram
Download whatnot today and get $20 off and free shipping your first purchase. Search whatnot W h a t N o t in the app store. Sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with $20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Your outdoor space should feel like you. I have this gigantic patio deck thing that I wanted to use for parties and I could just not find any, any fashionable patio furniture. I needed a lot and I needed it to go together. I needed different pieces that all kind of look the same. I was able to go on Wayfair and search for exactly what I needed. Different brands, different, different things all coming together in one style. It was so easy to do and it looks great.
Ben Mandelker
I can confirm that his outdoor area looks great. And the thing is that you can get more than just seating. You can get grills, major appliances, storage, patio lighting, rugs, decorations. Wayfair really is your one stop shop for home.
Ronnie Caram
And the best thing about this place, well, not the best, one of the best is that you don't even have to put this stuff together. You can hire somebody from Wayfair to come put it over, put it all together for you. You know, and that's the best part because if I put it together, it's rickety. It's falling apart no matter where it's from. I just don't have that skill. But they do.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that is actually probably the part of Wayfair that I just tell my friends about just unsolicitedly. I just will say, like not only can you order the stuff, you someone else can put it together for you. Patio season is here and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now and get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W a Y F A I
Ronnie Caram
R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. Now listen, Kaylee, at first I was worried because I thought, oh no, Kaylee's going to be this too nice person who's trying to impress Kaylee, sees what Jen is doing, and Kaylee is gonna win this war. She's like, oh, really?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
You think you're gonna go try and make me look stupid and talk shit behind my back? I'm gonna undermine you in the most effortless way you've ever seen. So enjoy yourself, Purser.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, she's. She's a. She's. She's perky, but she's not dumb.
Ronnie Caram
She's not dumb.
Ben Mandelker
She gets her. Good.
Ronnie Caram
She gets. What'd you say to finish?
Ben Mandelker
It's not. That's the most dangerous. Perky. Perky, but not dumb.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, intelligent. Perky. It's a very scary combination.
Ben Mandelker
It's a very scary, scary combination. I'll tell you someone who is not that perky and maybe not that smart is Cooper. Cooper's on the bridge. And what's so funny is Cooper is from Charleston. And on Love island, there's a guy named Caleb who's from Charleston. And I swear to God, these are the same people. I was like, I'm waiting for it to be revealed that they're brothers or is this just the way guys in Charleston look? I'm like, they look exactly the same to me. Did you see that?
Ronnie Caram
Same. They talk the same. They're very similar. Yeah, they are very similar on Love Island. That one, I was. We were just talking about this before we recorded. But that one is telling the girl. He's like, yeah, you know, I'm from Charleston. I really. She goes, what do you like to do? And he's like, oh, I like lawn dancing. You know how to do that? She's like, never mind. Dance. But, like, do you know how to, like, dance with one other person? He's like, yeah, I could do that, too. I can't.
Ben Mandelker
You see?
Ronnie Caram
And this guy seems very similar.
Ben Mandelker
Did you see there was a discussion between two people? I don't remember who it was. Maybe it was. Maybe it was Kenzie, but I don't remember. But someone. Someone was saying how, like, they were a Southern belle. They're like, what is the man version of Southern Bell? The other person goes, cowboy. I was like, okay, no, that's not. No.
Ronnie Caram
What would be the opposite of a Southern Bell?
Ben Mandelker
It's not cowboy. I feel like Southern Bell would have, like, some, like, Colonel Sanders type. Someone who's like, it's Foghorn Leghorn. Okay. But it's not a. I'm not seeing it as a cowboy.
Ronnie Caram
A cowboy. Well, I don't know.
Ben Mandelker
It's a Southern. A southern gentle. It'll be. I don't know.
Ronnie Caram
It's a Southern knocker who's a southern door. He's a southern knocker.
Ben Mandelker
Southern ring cam. Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
I don't know.
Ben Mandelker
So.
Ronnie Caram
So Nathan is fist bumping Coop because now Nathan is going to figure out who he can make lead deck. He's gonna try and pick anyone but Joe. So he's like, okay, this is your radar, and that's the land. Okay, this is land right here. He's like, yeah, so land. So if there's significant movement inside the circle, wake up, Captain Sandy. And he's like, oh, this is my first anchor watch.
Ben Mandelker
Land.
Ronnie Caram
It's just different color than the water. How am I supposed to know what that is? I'm a little insecure about my knowledge of the nautical world in general. I'm just nervous. How do boats even float? It's crazy. How come you can put soap in the water and that'll float, but if you put a spoon in the water, that'll sink? I just don't get it.
Ben Mandelker
Someone help me. By the way, I looked it up. We're both idiots.
Kat Nat
The.
Ben Mandelker
The. According to Google, the. The. The male version of a Southern bell is a Southern gentleman, so.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, I said that.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, you did say it. Okay, good.
Ronnie Caram
Well, for. That was my first answer that. Then I changed it to Southern knocker because I was going opposite of bell.
Ben Mandelker
But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It could have been a Southern Gaston.
Ronnie Caram
And Southern bell just sounds like so much more creative than Southern gentlemen.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Because, like, a gentleman's a gentleman sort of everywhere. Like, a southern belle feels more unique. I think we need to have a. We need to come up with a better phrase for that. But anyway, back to this Southern gentleman. He is learning anchor watch, as you were talking about. And Nathan's like, this here is your wind monitor. You have all the episodes here every season. They're all there on demand. They're never going anywhere because they were built on this platform. So, you know, to catch up. Captain sand will be real happy with you if you.
Ronnie Caram
If.
Ben Mandelker
You know, if you can talk with her about it.
Ronnie Caram
This is a wind monitor, otherwise known as Captain Sandy. Yeah, that's right. I'm monitoring wind.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Caram
Biggest viewer across all across all demographics. Okay. Love wins season 12. If it goes above 12, wake her up. And Cooper's like, okay. And Nathan's saying if he has someone green, he wants to show him how to do it right. Okay. So he's like, all right, good night, bro. So he leaves him alone. Meanwhile, the girls are still sliding down the umbrella like, oh, my God, it's like a pole.
Ben Mandelker
Meanwhile, Cooper is the first person in the history of all blow decks to be put on anchor watch and actually, like, take initiative and. And basically take initiative in. In the task. Most people, when we see them on anchor watch, they sit on a chair and then they doze off or they do something else, or they just go back to their room and go to sleep. But he's, like, staring at the numbers, and he's very scared because the numbers are inching towards 12. It's like 10, 11, 11 above 11. 10 again. 9, 11, 10, 11. Like, it goes to 12 for a second. He's like, what do I do? What do I do? So he goes in and he likes. He basically wakes up Captain Sandy, and she could not be any happier because she's like, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love it. No, you're good. You know, I love someone who's. I love someone who wants to learn, who wants to do things like, he's cute. You know, I love that Cooper's this proactive. That means he's paying attention. And people who pay attention are people who hug. And even though it's blowing 10 night, 10 knots, it's fine. Because I want green crew members to get experience, because the more experience you get, the more you need a nap. And the crew members that nap are the crew members that are happy. You see what I'm doing? So watch out, Somali pirates. I've got a new green stew or group green decky coming for you. Okay, I. I should probably go back to bed now.
Ronnie Caram
You know, some people need bread and some people need to be needed, so. Thanks, Cooper. Thanks for waking me up. Felt. Felt great. Okay, listen, it was a little above 10 knots. I get it. And he's like, I promise. It moved. She goes, I believe you. I believe you. Okay, wake me up again.
Ben Mandelker
She loved it. She was so happy.
Ronnie Caram
I like when she was like, I believe. Yeah, I believe. Okay, there, Coop.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, here's the great thing. It was just a bad dream. You go to sleep now. So it's the next morning, everyone wakes up, and Joy is going to figure out breakfast. She's like, I'm going to find this lu. Like. And I'm like, it's just like, give up. Give them a meal. It's not that deep.
Ronnie Caram
And it's like, why are you wearing a croissant as a mustache? Well, I'm sorry for watching American tv. Okay, so cat nature in the main salon and Everything's prep. Everything's prepped. You're ready. You're ready. Asian like, oh, my God. The way you did the fork is absolutely amazing. It's tear and dizzy. They cut some Aisha faces today, some Asia faces. They had one where she was just like this for a solid five seconds on screen. And I'm sorry for people who aren't on video, but I have to do it for that.
Ben Mandelker
I know. Just. I know I saw that moment. What the hell? Oh, my God. And then, so Kaylee's asking Asia, let's say, how did you go to sleep? She's like, oh, my God. You guys love to play sportless. That's beautiful. So they're going to be going to this island of locrum, lockrum, lock, caram, Ronnie caram. And it's. It's perfect because it's a lot of flat rocks right next to the air. We can go cliff jumping. God. Nothing says fun like cliff jumping into an area that's next to a bunch of flat rocks. I'm like, give me those head injuries. I am ready for them.
Ronnie Caram
I think this. These guests have enough. Honestly, they're still swinging from umbrellas. They do not need more head injuries. Okay, Meanwhile, we've got Joy and Luke flirting. She's not really flirting. He's really flirting because he's a very G man who needs a lot of protein, and he is going to flirt with you. And I'm not saying that Joy isn't worth the flirting. I'm just saying beware any muscular man flirting with the chef, cuz all he wants is protein. You know, the man will use you for protein.
Ben Mandelker
He reminds me of one of those. Those really big Dalmatians. There's one in my neighborhood. It's like a Great Dane Dalmatian combo. It's huge. This huge, big old dog with spots.
Ronnie Caram
Sounds like a lot of knee problems to me.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, Cruella would die, but, yeah, that's his vibe. And he. You're right. He's just. He just wants a snack. He wants some kibble and a steak on the side, if possible, which he actually gets.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So Kaylee's like, you working your magic again? She's like, I'm making. She's like, I'm making bagels. Homemade bagels. We don't see that often on this show. Is she trying to get me to marry you? I will. I will propose. Yeah, they were homemade. You can always tell a homemade bagel because they look crazy. They're never just, like, totally round little things. They look like, oh, yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Because you know what? I don't think I heard her say, I'm making bagels. I thought she was just putting out donuts. And I was like, those donuts look crazy. But they were homemade bagels. That makes so much more sense. I would. Wow. I've actually been thinking about trying to make. Try my hand at making bagels, but they take hours. They take hours and hours to make.
Ronnie Caram
There's a lot that goes into a bagel. That's why they all. They're all so different, you know, as you know, you have bagel Thursdays, you're a bagel aficionado. There's no. Every place has a different bagel. Every brand has. It's not a cons. It's not like just buying white bread, you know, where it's all very similar bagels are. There's tents.
Ben Mandelker
There's a lot of factors, and there's like multiple rises and there's like a boiling and then there's a. There's a baking. And then you gotta add like the. Is it the barley syrup or something to it. Like, there's like a whole bunch of crap is on there. That's just so much of Ronnie reacting to the barley syrup.
Ronnie Caram
It's just so much. You know, it's one of those things. Like it's a dollar. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I will give you the dollar to not.
Ben Mandelker
I'm gonna do it once. Yeah, I'm gonna do it once. But like, you really. I think, like, if I were to do it, I think I would have to like, wake up at six in the morning in order to have my bagel ready at 10, 10am I think it's like a three to four hour process.
Ronnie Caram
Isn't it even longer? Don't they have to like, sit and stuff or rest there?
Ben Mandelker
There's an initial rise and then, then you have to. Then you have to like. I think you have to like, make them into the shape and then there's like another rise and then you do something. There may even be another mini rise. And then you, you do the boil and then you're baking.
Ronnie Caram
That's a lot. There's just so much. I know, like, how did people even invent bread? It takes so many steps. Like, how did you figure out all the rises? And it was lazy person who's like, oh, I've made the dough. I'm tired. They just leave it there. And like, oh, it's bigger now. All right, I'll miss it. I don't want to do It.
Ben Mandelker
I think so.
Ronnie Caram
I don't want to do it. And then they mush it a little more, and they're like, I can't finish this. And then finally, someone's like, just bake it. Like, this is perfect. I gave up five times.
Ben Mandelker
I guarantee all the food that we enjoy, it was an accident. There was a Carol Burnett sketch years ago. I remember seeing it as a kid where she's like a cave woman, and her caveman husband comes home, and she's like, here, try this. She's like, what is this? She' like, it's milk. He's like, oh, this is delicious. How'd you make it? She's like, well, I was in the field, and I saw a cow, and it looked so pretty, and I just decided to go up and just squeeze it, and the stuff came out. So I just put this cup under the cow, and I drank it. And the guy's like, oh, why?
Ronnie Caram
But, like, I assaulted a cow. I basically assaulted a cow.
Ben Mandelker
If you think about it, so much of our food is like, what? What were you thinking? How did you even come up with this? Yeah, what was wrong with you? Why did you side go up that cow and squeez. Squeeze it?
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, this up.
Ben Mandelker
This was the thing.
Ronnie Caram
Yep. Well, as someone who's eaten a lot of pencil erasers, I get it. So Nathan is talking to Luke, and he's telling him to go get changed. And Luke's like, thanks. If by some miracle I have energy in the morning, can I work out on the bow? I really want to work that out. He's like, sure. So then in the galley, Cat spills champagne off a tray, and she's like, I am definitely at the bottom of, like, the hierarchy. And it's not. I'm, like, used to. Because, like, academically, I've always been, like, top of my class. Like, top of everything. I wanted to be a lawyer at some point. I got a 165 on my LSAT. I could probably get a 175. Like, I work so hard to be the best. My mom and dad are so pets. Like, thanks for my school. I'd rather clean toilets.
Ben Mandelker
I really appreciated this monologue. It's like, the first time in a long time where we've had a stew Come on here and acknowledge, like, what they're really doing here. As opposed to Jen, who's like, I'm gonna be more successful than my two very successful Manhattanite parents. I'm gonna be someone who cleans toilets. I'm like, okay, like. Like, let's not really forget what you're doing here. And it's not any snobbery about the profession, but, like, let's. Like, it's just funny how there are so many people that come onto the show. Like, I'm looking to lead the. To lead the. To go transition into, like, the golden life. I want to be happy around glitz and glamour. I want to be that. It's like, you're still cleaning toilets, though. You're still serving other people, and that's a perfectly fine profession. But, like, don't lose sight. Like, don't confuse. You are not above. You're not above deck. You're below deck. And I like that. Cat's like, yep, I'm cleaning toilets. That's what I'm doing. Sorry, mom and dad.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, I really like Cat. So she sees herself in the mirror, and she. Or like, a window, and she's like, oh, my God, Why am I shaped like this? My posture is crazy.
Ben Mandelker
Like, is that me on screen? I also like that she's not even trying to buy for first or for, like, second or third. So she's just like, yeah, I'm. I'm bad at this. I'm just fully bad. Don't worry.
Ronnie Caram
I don't care. I get to travel with, like, lots of hot people.
Ben Mandelker
I'm fine with it. I'm just happy.
Ronnie Caram
So then Asia is talking to the guests and asking where Mad and Angela. And the guy's like, do you think we could have breakfast without him? Come on.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, my God.
Ronnie Caram
One of the ladies is like, come on, mom and dad. We're starving. Doing our mom and our dad. I don't know. Except they're selling you. Which I guess happens, you know? But the mom, the one they're calling mom, looks so much like Rula from Real Housewives of Rhode Island. It's. I think it's the lips. I think it's, like, the lip work. But, yeah, I just see Rula, and I feel so almost bad for her, except I'm like, run, Wor. Get. Move. Go. I'll come pick you up.
Ben Mandelker
So then we. Then Asia is. Is, you know, offering pastries, and then she's talking to Jen and Cat, and she's asking if they want to get started on cabins. So they do that. And now we go to Matt, and he's talking to Sandy, and Sandy's like, hey, so, Matt, what did you think of your dessert? Did it. Did it make your hair happy? And he's like, oh, God, yeah. Oh, wow. And I love those little pink butts. Last night, that was amazing. I'm like, those were hearts, you idiot. Those are raspberry hearts.
Ronnie Caram
This is the guy. Every single thing is sexual to him. He's like, yeah, it looked like a bunch of little pink asses. I loved it.
Ben Mandelker
Like, it was. Those were hearts, not butts. But I'm glad. I'm glad you have revealed your Rorschach test.
Ronnie Caram
Yes. So the crew mess, Josie's Nathan, and he's like, morning, lad. I had a good solid three and a half hours of sleep or something like that. Why? Well, I Woke up at 4 today. And he's like, but your shift is at 5, and now I have to put you down essentially an hour early. Let's just stick to our roster, shall we?
Ben Mandelker
If I were Chief Steve, I would have woken up myself a little bit earlier. He's like, the reason why I'm here. It's a showcase my career advancements to Captain Sandy. You know, I've been a Boston before. I could do any job that you give me. But is Nathan going to allow me to show my tulip colors, my true potential? Probably not. You're not here to show your career advancement to Captain Sandy. You're here to do your job. And so settle down. Wake up when you're supposed to.
Ronnie Caram
But he knows. He knows what's happening. He knows that Nathan is gonna block him. Like, I. I love that about both of them this season, that they're just. They're starting off like, I'm gonna ruin this life.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, seriously. So Joe's, like, saying, it won't happen again. I just thought I'd let you know so I don't keep anything from you. Oh, sure. Thank you. Thank you for pretending this is a virtuous moment of honesty. So the guests are all very happy with the food, and Sandy is doing one of her favorite activities, which is putting up some binoculars and looking out in the distance going, huh? That's it.
Ronnie Caram
God, I love this banana. So Joe and Luke are now on deck. And Joe's like, we're looking spot on. Scuppers is Nathan's pet hate. So I get on me hands and knees to do that. You really want to please him? Get on your hands and knees.
Ben Mandelker
He demands it and looks like, dude, you've got very strong character. You have a basin. And Joe's like, I love this gig. He's like, yes, I know you do. This gig suits you well, too. I'm like, this is sort of sounding like the beginning of a gay porn, so not bad at it. Yeah. Yeah, we're ready for it.
Ronnie Caram
So then Nathan and Sandy, he's like, well, I wanted to have a chat with you about. Regarding the point in the lead. Dark hand. Such like, okay, who is it gonna be? Does his name rhyme with Snow? No. Does it rhyme with Bo?
Ben Mandelker
No.
Ronnie Caram
Does it rhyme with.
Kat Nat
No?
Ronnie Caram
No.
Ben Mandelker
Running out. You gotta help me. He's like, I'm thinking about Cooper. You know? You know, I'm sorry. No, I didn't mean Cooper. Jesus Christ. Cooper's so green. God, I love how green he is. You know, he woke me up three times last night just because he saw an ant on the floor. I was so happy.
Ronnie Caram
I woke up this morning, he was just standing in the middle of the bridge, staring at the screen, saying, there is a castle on a cloud. I used to go there in my sleep. So, no, not him. Luke. Luke is very professional. She's like, luke? Yeah. He's very attentive. Wait, come on now. Why not Joe? Why not Joe? Come on. He's like, why not Joel? Well, I feel like the past seasons, Joe's been great. Okay? He's helped me out. But there's certain times I feel like I can't trust him enough. I. I trust Luke more than I can trust Joel now. This is where he should have just been. Like, I can't trust that little.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, exactly.
Ronnie Caram
He's under my. Exactly. And he's trying to make me look stupid. And he doesn't like me because I stood up against him, acting like crap to that girl all season, who he treated like total dog. And he's not a good person. I don't want him under me. You deal with it. Replace him, and I'll put your replacement up as lead deckhander. Whatever.
Ben Mandelker
No, What. And what he really should have said on top of that was, I can't trust him. And on top of that, Luke has a willingness to learn. And I really feel like I. Not only can I mold him, you can mold him. And he's just a sponge. And, yes, he's a little rough around the edges, but by the end of the season, I know he is going to be an inspiration to everyone. Santa, like, oh, yeah. Oh, God. He can learn. Oh, my God. Just put him in the tender. Let him crash it five times. I don't care. It's a learning experience. Experience.
Ronnie Caram
He's got a T shirt, A T shirt that says hugs, not drugs. Oh, my God. Just climaxed. Okay. Put him in charge. Put him in charge of the whole boat.
Ben Mandelker
That's. That's what he needed to do. Yeah. Sandra's like, listen, I'm having a hard time with this decision. I mean, why did they move wind from 8pm to 9pm okay. Some of us have to wake up early in the morning. Oh, and your decision, too. I don't like that either. I'm struggling with it. Is it cool to wait for the second charter? Why don't you wait? Okay. Just. Just maybe think on it.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. She's like, joe has more experience than Luke. And Nathan's worked with Joel before. Nathan needs to pause and think about the decision before he makes it. Okay, well, yes, Joel has a skill set, but he's gonna try and undermine me. Does he have my best interest at heart? Is he gonna fuck every girl on the boat and ruin crew morale? Okay, you don't care that he fucks every girl on the boat, so stop bringing that into it. And that's not business. I mean, in any other job, yes, it could be business. But this is below deck. Like, suddenly you guys are going to make that matter. And why are you making me stand up for Joe? I hate Joe.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I just. Well, I'm not really standing up for Joe. I think this is clearly a. He's definitely going with emotions on this decision, but I don't know. I don't think it's like. I really don't think it's the worst. But then later on, I'm like, well, yeah, maybe he just. She should go with Joe, because Luke did crash the tender right away, but
Ronnie Caram
I'm such a wuss and say, Joe, we don't say it.
Ben Mandelker
Stand in it.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, we don't get along. We ended badly. I don't agree with how things went last season. Let's start over. You know, you're obviously the best person for this job. I'm gonna trust you with that, and I'm gonna trust that you're not gonna go undermine me and try and do all this. I mean, be an adult. Bolt. But he's. He's being as undermining as Joe, you know? And then he's flying off the handle and bringing personal stuff into it. He's just bad. He's just bad at this.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. You know, God, thank God they're not both women. Because you know what? Women are so emotional. Thank God these guys have it all together. Here comes one right now.
Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
I've actually been using Klarna for that because it gives you options. You can pay now, later or over time depending on how you want to handle it. Sometimes I'll split something into a few payments so I don't have to deal with it all at once. And I like that. You know, I like that everything's super clear in the app. You always know what you owe and when so there aren't weird surprises.
Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ronnie Caram
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Ronnie Caram
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Caram
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Ben Mandelker
so Luke is flirting with joy. He's like, hello, Shift. And she's like, hello, how are you? He's like, I'm amazing. How are you? And they're just like, you know, he
Ronnie Caram
does the French thing. So many French people have told me this. Why are you laughing? It's like, I'm just. I don't know. Why are you laughing? It's like when I see you smiling, you know, I don't know. I laugh when you smile. I don't know. You should be lucky. I am smiling at you.
Ben Mandelker
So now here's his story. He's growing up. I was scrawny, weird kind of voice kid. And I never really had the confidence to go to girls. But when I was 15, my mom gifted me a Men's Health health book, which is a really funny thing to gift your son.
Ronnie Caram
No kidding.
Ben Mandelker
What the hell is the mom. She's like, stop late.
Kat Nat
Here's.
Ben Mandelker
Here's a magazine.
Ronnie Caram
Mom's like, all right, enough jerking off. To international mail. Here's a male men's fitness. Okay, Geez. At least there's more words in it and you can read something.
Ben Mandelker
So he basically read it and then got into it and took him 14 years, and in 2019, he made it to the COVID of Men's Health. So there you go. His backstory. I actually like Luke so far. Famous last words. I'm sure he will reveal himself to be a douchebag soon enough. But you can tell he was, like, a dork growing up because, no, he
Ronnie Caram
was not a dork. What was. He makes like a completely normal child. What?
Ben Mandelker
He makes all these weird voices that I feel like someone who was, like, a nerd would have made. You know, I feel like anyone who is, like, like, popular and cool would never make the. Do the weird little jokes that he does. So I feel like it's an encouraging sign.
Ronnie Caram
Well, God forbid someone makes weird little voices around here.
Ben Mandelker
No, I'm saying it's a good thing. I'm saying that someone who is popular doesn't have to rely on, like, developing that instinct, right? Because they're just accepted. Are you defending the popular people right now?
Ronnie Caram
No, I'm defending myself. Like, what the hell are you making fun of me for? And by the way, I.
Ben Mandelker
It's all of us.
Ronnie Caram
I know.
Ben Mandelker
It's true.
Ronnie Caram
I have. My penis has looked at a lot of Internet or a lot of men's fitness catalogs, and I still struggle with my weight. So what the hell kind of reading was he doing?
Ben Mandelker
Well, he just was.
Ronnie Caram
My penis is very strong, though.
Ben Mandelker
He's just he's, he, you know, he just didn't have a lot of activities, I guess. I don't know. Not a lot of. I don't know.
Ronnie Caram
I just. Whenever. It's like a really hot guy is like, oh, it was just such a dorky kid. And then they cut to him as a kid. He's like a person. Perfectly cute kid. I'm like, I'm sure. Okay, yeah, you're real hideous.
Ben Mandelker
I thought he looked legitimately dorky. I was like, okay, I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give him this one, I think. I just like that he's done, like a one or two little weird, like, voices, like, jokey voice, things where I'm like, I, I love that he is, like, this big, buff guy, but he still sees himself as a dweeb. I love, I love when, when guys are like that.
Ronnie Caram
I don't think he sees himself.
Ben Mandelker
You don't think, But I get you.
Ronnie Caram
I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. I'm not getting huge douchebag vibes from him so far. I'm just getting a using the chef for protein vibe from him, which makes me wary. But, yeah, I mean, look, I'm not a hater or whatever. He seems, like, cute and nice.
Ben Mandelker
He's gonna annoy us. He's gonna annoy us. I'm just saying right now, I, I, I'm enjoying him. He's gonna go down the path of Culver, where he'll be like, oh, he'll be fine. And then he'll turn out to be lazy and annoying and then sort of shitty. So, like, that will happen. But for right now, I'm, I'm enjoying this aspect of his personality.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So Asia is talking to Kaylee, and she's like, all right, you're gonna go with the deck team to sit up, and then when the guests want to come, all come. Okay. You're gonna do the beach picnic. It's very exciting. It's gonna send Jen into a spiral for a reason that nobody can really understand. Stand.
Kat Nat
All right. Fun.
Ben Mandelker
Don't forget to not shove the place mats on the island. Jen in the background, angrily looking out the window like she's putting the placemats out wrong.
Ronnie Caram
So Joy is making sushi, and she's like, I love sushi. A yacht chef is very important to know every cuisine. When I was working for my boss, he was professional baseball player. He loved my cuisine so much, he offered to pay for my culinary courses all around the world. And I went to Varona Chocolate School, Thailand, Master Sushi Academy in Japan. I flied from McDonald's so many. I've cooked crazy things. Chicken feet, crocodile, the bowls of a rooster,
Ben Mandelker
an entire human.
Ronnie Caram
I've never heard the balls of a rooster. Was that a thing I've heard of?
Ben Mandelker
I guess so. Yeah. I've heard of different testicles, but I haven't rooster balls. Wait, it sounds vaguely familiar. It sounds vaguely familiar as a cuisine. I feel like I heard about it somewhere in some random ass thing. But generally speaking, I would say no, that's not something that like, pings on my radar as like a cuisine. Who is eating the rooster balls? That's what I'm. I'll look it up, everyone. Guys, don't worry. I'm on the Internet. I will take.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, I've heard of that. I mean, I've heard of eating lots of different kinds of testicles, but I've just never heard of the rooster.
Ben Mandelker
In what cuisine are rooster testicles consumed? I asked it very formally and we're gonna find out very soon what's really thinking about it.
Ronnie Caram
Huh?
Ben Mandelker
It's really thinking.
Ronnie Caram
It's a long time for the Internet.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, a lot of mine. Okay, so rooster testicles, often referred to as chicken testicles or chicken balls, are consumed as a delicacy in several global cuisines. They are particularly prominent in Chinese, Vietnamese and Hungarian cuisines. So there you go. They're prized for their soft tofu like, or custard like texture, and are frequently used for their purported health benefits, such as boosting male virility and improving skin tone. You would have known that if you've been reading Men's Health since you were 15 years old.
Ronnie Caram
We asked a very prominent rooster what he thinks of this and he said, ow. Okay.
Ben Mandelker
He said, cockadoodle. Don't.
Ronnie Caram
Oh, so Joy doesn't have to go to the picnic. And she's like, good. I can focus on cake. Which is literally how I decline every invitation. Like, I'm so sorry. Gotta focus on the cake.
Ben Mandelker
Great. I can focus on the cake. The autobiography of Ben Mandelker.
Ronnie Caram
That'll be my political stance because they have like, focus on the family and they're like, down with gay people. I'm going to be like, you know what, let's forget about the gay people for a second. Focus on the cake. Who's not going to vote for that?
Ben Mandelker
Well, the problem is, unfortunately, you try to focus on the cake and then some baker in Colorado makes that an anti gay issue. It's like, I'm just trying to Focus on the cake. Why you have to give this to us. Okay,
Ronnie Caram
so I just ate a down with Adam and Steve cake. It was delicious. It's not Adam and Steve. My acid isn't
Ben Mandelker
so Joy is. God, I would love a cake right now.
Ronnie Caram
I would love a cake right now. I'm so hungry for cake. By the way, I did eat that candy out of the trash yesterday. I'm. And then I woke up mortified. Of course. I threw some chocolate reasons, some choco reasons in the trash and I was like, well, there's nothing disgusting in the trash and they're wrapped individually, girl. I took them out and wiped them down and unwrapped them and ate them while I watched Love Island. The worst thing to watch while you're binging out on something like, oh my God, am I hot enough?
Ben Mandelker
Like, let me have my garbage reasons.
Ronnie Caram
I'm eating garbage Candy and watching 22 year old Perfect bodies bang.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I've got my College reunion, my 25 year college reunion coming up this weekend. So of course, if you have a college reunion, you have to get the best shape of your life. Which is why naturally, I went and bought like some Kinder Boy nose this morning because I'm just, I can't stop eating those.
Ronnie Caram
Do people do that before high school
Ben Mandelker
reunions or a college any reunion? I mean, the idea is that you want to go and look good, right? Be like, oh, hey, how's it going?
Ronnie Caram
No, I didn't look good then, why should I show up looking good now?
Ben Mandelker
I put all my effort into looking good for BravoCon. And since then I've now been like, I can't be bothered.
Ronnie Caram
Those people wouldn't fuck me then, they ain't going to fuck me now, I don't care. I'm gonna do the same thing during the reunion I did during high school, which is smoke at the smoker's wall with the smoking people.
Ben Mandelker
I'll be very intrigued if Mindy shows up to the reunion. That'll be really fun. I'm like, hey, Mindy, I have been really into Kinder. Kinder. Buenos. Would you like one?
Ronnie Caram
Like, really? I've really been into making successful television shows. It's been, it's been fun.
Ben Mandelker
I've been really into hanging out with Kate Hudson. Like, oh, well, I, I met Meredith Marks. She's like, I don't know.
Ronnie Caram
Okay, so we have the beach picnic getting set up and there's been a request for a special cake celebrating their years on the Las Vegas strip. Now listen, these people keep telling us how Successful they are in Las Vegas. I've been to Vegas many times. Have you ever heard of the X shows? I mean, I've seen shows that are like x. X adult show, but that's kind of literally never, right? Yeah, literally never.
Ben Mandelker
But I also tune out all the. For straight guys except for the sports stuff. But like the. But like the. The scantily clad women showgirl stuff for the. For the straight guys. It's like it does not even. Like it's.
Ronnie Caram
It's.
Ben Mandelker
It just goes, right? It just cascades, right?
Ronnie Caram
I see those billboards and I'm like, oh, my God, I wonder if those girls want to go to Legend with me. They look so.
Ben Mandelker
By the way, was there you know that the Vanderpump Hotel opened this weekend?
Ronnie Caram
Of course I do.
Ben Mandelker
A lot of our colleagues were invited to it. It looked like a. Looked like a fun old time, Right? Did you. Has there been any gossip that's come out of that that you've heard of?
Ronnie Caram
No, I didn't know that people were invited and we weren't worried. Trying to ruin my day.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, why should we be invited to a. It's not like we've been supporting Vanderpump rules since the very beginning, including this season that everyone hated but we liked. It's okay, don't invite us.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah, whatever, jerks. Whatever. I will go stay there. I mean, it used to be the
Ben Mandelker
Cromwell, now it's the Crom. Better. But yeah. Okay, well, if there's any good stories, someone tell us. So now we're back. Can you tell how much we're like trying to talk about anything but this show right now, so.
Ronnie Caram
And it's a good show too, so I don't know why. Because it's season so far, so they're talking about the decoration of the cake and she's. Joy's asking if she can have Kaylee decorate the cake because Kaylee is of course also good at doing cakes, which is great, but. Oh, my God, Jen is gonna lose her fucking mind. Oh, you do cakes too? Oh, don't think I don't see what you're doing.
Ben Mandelker
You want to see how I decorate a cake? And we'll just cut you a picture of a wedding cake with a giant cleaver in the middle of it. There's your decoration. So now Luke is. Nathan's talking to Luke and he's. He's like, I did. He's like, I did tell Captain Sandy that Luke could be a patcher, could be a lead back deckhand material. So now I Just have to test him a little more and see that. Like, that I can make a. The decision based on facts and not emotion. So let's see how he is as a. As a potential lead deckhand. Oh, no, Luke, you've. You've just thrown the anchor into the. Into the wheelhouse. That's not where it goes. No. Oh, no. Oh, terrible.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah. So he lets him drive the tender. So Luke Nathan is sitting next to him. He's like, okay, turn right. You're gonna go right here. He's like, am I going past the brown hut? He's like, yes. Okay, now walk down these steps. Set it up. It's like, copy. So we know this is going to be a disaster. We just see it coming. So Kat is like, oh, hello there, Jen. Are you going to the beach? And she's like, no, it's fine.
Ben Mandelker
It's like, oh, I'll just be here fixing all the placemats that were shoved everywhere. So then Kaylee is there. People are setting up at locker room and everything. And then Joe is. He's talking to the charter guests and they're putting in drink orders. They ask for a Malibu Coke. And he's like, what was that? He's like, malibu. Malibu cock. Malibu cock. Malibu cock. Cock. Malibu cock. They want a Malibu cock.
Ronnie Caram
So he's giving these orders on the radio, and he gets to that, and he's like, and a Malibu cock.
Ben Mandelker
I'm sorry, that wasn't clear.
Ronnie Caram
A Malibu Cock.
Ben Mandelker
Of what?
Ronnie Caram
He's like, so wait, guys, what's in a Malibu Cock? And they're like, oh, my God, it's a Malibu and Coke. Oh, it's a Malibu Coke.
Ben Mandelker
So she's like, that makes way more sense. So the guests, they arrive at their picnic and they're very happy, and there's a peacock. And then someone goes, I got bitten by a peacock at the Detroit Zoo. That's on you. I'm sorry,
Ronnie Caram
girls. These girls are so funny. I got bitten by a peacock at the Detroit Zoo. I died.
Ben Mandelker
Why were you that close to the peacock at the zoo? Anytime someone gets injured by an animal at the zoo, I'm like, that's your fault. That's your fault. The animals. Those are animals, and you're humans. You should know better. And there's. There's probably healthy barriers between you and the animal. So, like, don't complain to me about your stupid incident.
Ronnie Caram
It's like, this is why Carol never ate a peacock in that sketch.
Ben Mandelker
That's right.
Ronnie Caram
They better ask.
Ben Mandelker
That's why we. And that's why we don't have peacock milk. Nor are peacock balls part of any sort of world cuisine.
Ronnie Caram
Yeah.
Kat Nat
Hey everyone.
Ben Mandelker
This is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Ronnie Caram
Our way is the Amber way.
Ben Mandelker
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Karlie Clapp.
Ronnie Caram
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
Ben Mandelker
Darren McNicholas she don't miss no Tricolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.
Ronnie Caram
It's no BS we love Hugo es Jamie. She has no last namey.
Ben Mandelker
Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch she's our favorite streamer.
Ronnie Caram
Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets a name from us it's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O' Halloran. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore.
Ben Mandelker
This is Living with Michelle Vivian I
Ronnie Caram
love Aya Olivia Williamson.
Ben Mandelker
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Ronnie Caram
Yes, we canna It's Savannah.
Ben Mandelker
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Ronnie Caram
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10
Ben Mandelker
cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin o'.
Ronnie Caram
Neal. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Ben Mandelker
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.
Ronnie Caram
Have a kebab with K. Rob.
Ben Mandelker
My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo let's get savage with Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy, always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlas Rogers.
Ronnie Caram
The incredible edible Matthew s sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sharrous. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.
Ben Mandelker
She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
Ronnie Caram
We cannot tell a lie.
Ben Mandelker
It's Sarah Tellifson Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
Ronnie Caram
Strike a pose. It's Tory Rhodes. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.
Kat Nat
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Below Deck Med S11E02 Part One: Baby On Board
Release Date: June 16, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
In this lively recap, Ben and Ronnie dive into episode two of Below Deck Mediterranean Season 11 (in Croatia!), gleefully dissecting the drama between the deck team, the interior stews, and the eccentric charter guests. The focus is on Nathan’s struggle with appointing a lead deckhand, the emerging rivalry between Jen and Kaylee as second stew candidates, and the inevitable chaos that follows new crew members learning the ropes. The duo, in classic Crappens fashion, mock, praise, and cackle over every Bravo detail—with plenty of sidebars, tangents, and Bravo-adjacent musings.
The episode is classic Crappens—mocking but affectionate, filled with digressions about food, Bravo lore, and the general absurdity of reality TV. Ben and Ronnie gleefully point out every foible, celebrate the inevitable incompetence of green crew, and revel in the petty war between stews, always anchored by their sharp wit and love of all things Bravo.
If you missed the episode:
You’ll get a vivid sense of crew drama (Nathan vs. Joe, Jen vs. Kaylee), comedic mishaps (wrong drink orders, placemat wars, resilient umbrellas), and the hosts’ delightful digressions on everything from culinary oddities to self-esteem at class reunions. Plenty of shade, food asides, and inside Bravo jokes make this recap a treat for Bravo superfans.
Memorable Line of the Episode:
Ben (on crew hierarchy):
"Let’s not forget what you’re doing here. You are not above. You’re not above deck. You’re below deck. And I like that Cat’s like, yep, I’m cleaning toilets. That’s what I’m doing. Sorry, mom and dad.” (33:33)
End of Part One. For Part Two, check your feed—coming up next!