#3412 Below Deck Med S11E02 Part One: Baby On Board

Summary

Watch What Crappens Episode #3412 Summary

Below Deck Med S11E02 Part One: Baby On Board
Release Date: June 16, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

In this lively recap, Ben and Ronnie dive into episode two of Below Deck Mediterranean Season 11 (in Croatia!), gleefully dissecting the drama between the deck team, the interior stews, and the eccentric charter guests. The focus is on Nathan’s struggle with appointing a lead deckhand, the emerging rivalry between Jen and Kaylee as second stew candidates, and the inevitable chaos that follows new crew members learning the ropes. The duo, in classic Crappens fashion, mock, praise, and cackle over every Bravo detail—with plenty of sidebars, tangents, and Bravo-adjacent musings.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nathan’s Leadership Dilemma (04:44, 07:10, 37:31)

• Nathan is under pressure from Captain Sandy to select a lead deckhand but is reluctant to choose Joe despite his experience due to Joe's toxic behavior and past undermining.
  • Ben: "Joe is really bottom of the barrel when it comes to being a fuckboy on Bravo. Like, he's really one of the worst." (05:15)
• Ronnie and Ben both point out Nathan’s indecisiveness and less-than-stellar leadership style, especially given Nathan’s track record for mishaps.
  • Ronnie: "Nathan shouldn't really be leading. Nathan's not good at this." (08:28)
  • Ben: "He really should be called bad, young, unreliable Nathan. If you ask me." (08:33)
• The consensus: Nathan should be honest with Captain Sandy about Joe’s undermining, but instead, he fumbles and avoids clear communication.

Notable Moment:

• Ben and Ronnie riff on Nathan’s reluctance:
  "My solution is just don’t—don’t give out... Why would you be even giving this out on the first charter anyway?" (06:04)

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2. Interior Hierarchy & Jen vs. Kaylee Rivalry (09:54, 15:04, 19:16)

• Jen feels entitled to the second stew role, leveraging her experience and being passive-aggressive towards Kaylee, particularly regarding placemat protocol.
  • Ben: "I was so happy for Jen in that moment...trying to get a small victory somewhere and you just make that tiny little thing and you’re like, got ’em." (12:11)
• Kaylee, however, is observant and strategic, not easily outmaneuvered:
  • Ronnie: "I was worried...Kaylee’s gonna win this war. She’s like, oh really? You think you’re gonna go try and make me look stupid and talk shit behind my back? I’m gonna undermine you in the most effortless way you’ve ever seen." (19:16)

Quote:

• Ronnie, about Jen: "Her soul looks like a puckered butthole...but I think in a way that I like!" (10:32)

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3. New Deckhands & the Cooper Chronicles (20:13, 22:17)

• Cooper, the green deckhand, is learning the ropes—painfully so. Hilarity ensues as Cooper tries to distinguish land from water on the radar and agonizes over the wind monitor during anchor watch.
• Captain Sandy is charmed by his earnestness, appreciating someone ‘who pays attention.’
  • Ben: "He’s the first person in the history of all Below Decks to be put on anchor watch and actually, like, take initiative..." (24:15)
  • Ronnie (as Sandy): "I love someone who wants to learn, who wants to do things...that means he’s paying attention. And people who pay attention are people who hug." (25:04)

Memorable Moment:

• Ben jokes about umbrellas’ usual frailty versus the show’s “resilient umbrella”—then suggests it would better prevent Nathan from crashing the yacht (14:42).

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4. Crew Flirtations and Chef Joy’s Credentials (28:45, 33:33)

• Luke, the muscled deckhand, flirts shamelessly with Chef Joy, supposedly driven by his need for protein and a backstory involving a “Men’s Health” magazine his mom gave him at 15 (44:46).
  • Ben: "He just wants a snack. He wants some kibble and a steak on the side, if possible, which he actually gets." (28:45)
• Chef Joy impresses with her culinary background, having trained globally and even cooked "rooster balls" (49:03).
  • Ronnie: "I’ve never heard the balls of a rooster. Was that a thing?" (49:05)
  • Ben: [looking up rooster testicles] "They are particularly prominent in Chinese, Vietnamese and Hungarian cuisines. They're prized for their soft tofu-like texture..."_ (49:56)

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5. Charter Guests and Beach Picnic Set-up (37:37, 54:01)

• The charter guests are a self-proclaimed Las Vegas success story, requesting a special cake to celebrate their years on the strip.
  • Ronnie: "These people keep telling us how successful they are in Las Vegas. I’ve been to Vegas many times. Have you ever heard of the X shows?" (53:37)
• Classic Below Deck chaos:
  • Kaylee is tasked with cake decorating, which visibly irks Jen.
  • A “Malibu Coke” drink order is misheard as “Malibu cock” (57:20), leading to a classic radio confusion.
  • The beach picnic features unintentional comedy as someone claims: "I got bitten by a peacock at the Detroit Zoo." (57:58)
  • Ben, dryly: "Anytime someone gets injured by an animal at the zoo, I’m like, that’s your fault. That’s your fault." (58:06)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On Stew Drama

• Ben: "Sometimes we assholes on the show and we're like, get off the boat. Sometimes we meet them and we're like, good for you. Stay forever and also become the captain because you are unhinged and you’re gonna lose it. And I’m here for it." (10:50; 10:56)

On Leadership and Underlying Issues

• Ronnie: "He’s being as undermining as Joe, you know? And then he's flying off the handle and bringing personal stuff into it. He's just bad. He's just bad at this." (41:09)

On Cake & Food Tangents

• Ben: "Focus on the cake. The autobiography of Ben Mandelker." (50:53)
• Ronnie: "That'll be my political stance...focus on the cake—who's not gonna vote for that?" (50:57)

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Funniest Sidebars

• Bagel-Making as Existential Crisis: Ben and Ronnie go deep into the process of making bagels, comparing it to the accidental nature of food invention—a philosophical detour linking bread to comedy skits (29:09–31:42).
• Peacock & Zoo Anecdotes: Charter guest stories lead to a dramatic reading by the hosts about animal encounters gone wrong (57:58).

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Essential Timestamps

• Nathan’s Deckhand Dilemma: 04:44–09:54, 37:31–41:09
• Jen vs. Kaylee Stew Clash: 09:54–19:16, 15:04–15:23
• Cooper’s Anchor Watch Fiasco: 22:17–26:03
• Luke & Joy Backstory/Flirting: 28:45, 44:29–47:35
• Chef Joy’s Credentials & Rooster Balls: 33:33, 49:03–49:53
• Charter Guests, Cake, and Beach Picnic: 53:37–58:35

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is classic Crappens—mocking but affectionate, filled with digressions about food, Bravo lore, and the general absurdity of reality TV. Ben and Ronnie gleefully point out every foible, celebrate the inevitable incompetence of green crew, and revel in the petty war between stews, always anchored by their sharp wit and love of all things Bravo.

If you missed the episode:
You’ll get a vivid sense of crew drama (Nathan vs. Joe, Jen vs. Kaylee), comedic mishaps (wrong drink orders, placemat wars, resilient umbrellas), and the hosts’ delightful digressions on everything from culinary oddities to self-esteem at class reunions. Plenty of shade, food asides, and inside Bravo jokes make this recap a treat for Bravo superfans.

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Memorable Line of the Episode:
Ben (on crew hierarchy):
"Let’s not forget what you’re doing here. You are not above. You’re not above deck. You’re below deck. And I like that Cat’s like, yep, I’m cleaning toilets. That’s what I’m doing. Sorry, mom and dad.” (33:33)

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End of Part One. For Part Two, check your feed—coming up next!

Transcript

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

I've actually been using Klarna for that because it gives you options. You can pay now, later, or over time, depending on how you want to handle it. Sometimes I'll split something into a few payments so I don't have to deal with it all at once. And I like that. You know, I like that everything's super clear in the app. You always know what you owe and when, so there aren't weird surprises.

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Hello and welcome to Watch our Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?

[Ronnie Caram]

Well hello. How are you?

[Ben Mandelker]

I am fabulous. It's Tuesday. It's a big, big night of TV tonight. The summer house aftermath thing is going to air. We are so excited to talk about it. That'll be tomorrow of course though, even though some of us may have already seen it and we will just keep our mouths shut until then. But today it's below Deck Med. Very exciting. Join us on Patreon patreon.com crappin for bonus episodes ad free Listening Free Newsletter Video Crap on demand. You can watch us not just listen the full schmiggi. Okay, Discord. It's great. It's a whole community. It's a whole life. It's a whole full Crabbins experience over there. So come join us for that. And I just want to say, also, and some of you know, I have a. I have a little substack on the side where I talk about food, and I wrote a very lengthy cookbook review over the weekend for a cookbook called Better at Home by Clue Henry. And it's such a good cookbook. So I encourage you all to go check it out and read my review, mainly because I put a lot of time into it on this one. So that's nbd.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. Those are great. My aunties all are huge fans.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thank you.

[Ronnie Caram]

When SPAN's new newsletter coming, I'm like, shut up. You're like, I not heard about me and my piano recital that I'm giving in my home.

[Ben Mandelker]

Feel like a little kid. You're like. Like, I literally write a newsletter every single week.

[Ronnie Caram]

I learned how to play Willie Nelson.

[Ben Mandelker]

What? What?

[Ronnie Caram]

What are you going to say about that? Send it to your voicemail. Auntie from hell.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, But I made chicken with olives.

[Ronnie Caram]

They love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

They really.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's a great. It is a good newsletter. I subscribe to it as well. Also, I was on Sarah Gailey's podcast, and these girls, we talked for two hours about Summer House Part 3 reunion and Jesse's timeline and all that good stuff. So if you need even more Summer house in your life, it's out today. So go check it out. Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's huge. So, yeah, check out all our little side. Our little side things that we've been up to. And now let's focus on the main. The main event, which is hopping on this yacht in the Med in Croatia, Dubrovnik. So she went to Dipravnik. Auntie W. A yada, yada, yada. If you know that song, tell Norma. So the point is, we're in Croatia. It's night one.

[Ronnie Caram]

Norma calls it Schlubrovnik.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's gotta ring them bells. Taco Bells.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So here we are. Nathan is on the phone with Gail, pissed, because he feels pressure to name the obvious person lead deckhand, which would be Jill. But he doesn't want to because he doesn't like Joe now because Joe's a dick, but also because Nathan's pretending he's, like, a better person than Joe when we all know he's not really not that Much. I mean, if so, maybe a smidge. But, you know, Nathan has had a child now, and that makes him a good person in his eyes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right, Exactly. I do think that Nathan is probably. I do think he's, like, a little better than Joe, although his reactions on social media last year were pretty disgusting. So he's definitely, like, losing on that front on, you know, like, xenophobic fronts. I think that's really bad. But he is. I think Joe is really bottom of the barrel when it comes to. When it comes to being a fuckboy on Bravo. Like, he's really one of the worst that's out there. So, you know, half. Half six of one, half a dozen of another. And that does not include brain cells with these guys. So Nathan is like. Yeah, he. He basically, you know, he knows probably deep down that Joe should be lead deckhand, but he doesn't want to do it. My solution is just don't. Don't. Don't give out.

[Ronnie Caram]

Why?

[Ben Mandelker]

Why would you be even giving this out on the first charter anyway? Don't you want to, like. Don't you want to see how they all fare? I mean, if Asia's not even giving out stripes yet, like, why. Even giving out lead deckhand? Yeah, like a real role.

[Ronnie Caram]

Do the decky thing. I mean, the service thing or the daisy thing. We're like, I'm gonna wait to see how you do, ladies, and then give stripes out later, you know? You know, but he doesn't. And he knows that Sandy wants it, and he knows that Joe deserves it, and it's pissing him off. So he's. He's got, like, anger issues. Like, he's handling it terribly. And also, you're not, like, you're not great at leading. First of all, we've seen multiple examples of this. And you kind of ran into the doc last week, and you're about to do it two more times today.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yay. Let's get into it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Really. He's really treating this yacht like it's like. It's like one of those inflatable raft things that you go down the lazy river with and you just bump into the side. Just float back.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Into the.

[Ronnie Caram]

Just holding a beer, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. He's, like, in a tube just waiting

[Ronnie Caram]

for me for the stop.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, he's not. I would say that his reservations are not totally without merit, because Joe is a total underminer, and he is a toxic person in the workplace. He will say and do things to get ahead if need be. If he feels threatened, he is he is going to. To launch a stealth campaign to poison the waters against you. So Nathan's not totally wrong for. For really not wanting this guy as his number two, but he's gonna launch that stealth campaign no matter what. So at least. At least put him in the position where he can be more helpful.

[Ronnie Caram]

Right. But be smart about it. And when Sandy is saying, why don't you want him as lead deckhand? Say, listen, we didn'. At the end of last season, he's already undermining with me, with the crew. He's already talking bad about me. He's already trying to, like, put his hands up and be like, your fault. He's doing a lot of undermining things. So that's making me cautious. But instead, Sandy asked him anything. He's like. And he just sweats and, like, tries to talk his, you know, tries, like, cute face his way into it. And it's like, that's just. It's bad leadership, you know? So despite how shitty Joe is, which Joe is shitty, and I think all the reasons you just gave are so correct, but the fact is, Nathan shouldn't really be leading. Nathan's not good at this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Nathan would also be as much of a boy as Joe if he had had the opportunity, let's face it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. He really should be called bad, young, unreliable Nathan. If you ask me, so.

[Ronnie Caram]

Person develop a baby. So he's like, well, you know, Joel will be Joel, but what if he gets in the way of my season? I want to have words with him. And Gail's like, fair enough. For your sake, I hope they sound. And he's like, I don't care. I want to pick someone I actually trust. I mean, look, I've got this guy. He's 35. He seems, like, motivational. I mean, I can't even believe he's 35. That's a senior citizen. He's still walking around. He could teach us all something.

[Ben Mandelker]

Could you believe it? I can't believe he even remembers my name. You know, I've been trying to feed him applesauce and prunes, but last year, you know, Joel was my lead deckhand. But this year, I don't feel comfortable doing that. I forgot that he was lead deckhand last year, so he's already been in this position. Okay, come on now. So after he's like, after everything we've gone through, my career is really important to me. I'm a young Bolson, and I want to carry on. We've crashed once already. We don't need to Crush again. I don't trust Joe. Like, okay, relax. Just put him in the position. We can all move on with our lives. We heard you. We've seen you. Like, none of us actually really care who gets to be the deckhand on this boat. So can we just, like, move the needle and get on with it?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So then we go to Joy cleaning the galley and talking to. I don't know, everyone's just cleaning and stuff. And of course, Asia's like, wow, amazing job, everybody. And Joy's like, you did amazing. Sleep tight, everybody. And she's blowing kisses. Meanwhile, Jen's like, who is she to say that? Who? Shelliff, we did a good job. So this Gen chick is like a young Tina Fey. I can only see Tina Fey's face.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think Victoria de Lesseps.

[Ronnie Caram]

Who's that?

[Ben Mandelker]

Personally, Victoria de Lesseps. Maybe like a mixture of Tina Fey and Victoria de Lesseps.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay. But she's an. Okay. Her. Her face may look like Victoria de Lesseps and Tina Fey, but her soul looks like a puckered butthole.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know, but I think in a way that I like, it's like, I enjoy. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sometimes we assholes on the show and we're like, get off the boat. Sometimes we meet them and we're like, good for you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Stay forever. Yeah, stay forever and also become the captain because you are. You are unhinged and you're gonna. You're gonna lose it. And I'm here for it. I love every second. Apparently, Captain Sandy was on watch what happens saying that Joe, you know, Joe's a womanizer, and she doesn't like that. And that, like, one of the most unreliable people or. I don't know. I don't know the exact question because I can't remember Instagram posts that well. But basically, she just. Jen. Like, Jen's just that. Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, wow.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And she doesn't like her. So I guess Jen is going to get fired. And I'm already pissed off at Sandy for firing Jen. Come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't like that because. Because Jen is the sort of. That I really, really enjoy. And I loved her passive aggressive retribution for Kaylee taking charge of the tablescape. And the retribution happens right now when Jen is like, oh, hey, Kelly, just remember, no shoving of the placemats anywhere. I've noticed it a few times now. I was like, wow. Checking her placement. Placemat shoving frequency. That's. That's really like. And, you know, like, I. The thing is this. I was so happy for Jen in that moment. Because I know what it's like when someone pisses you off and you don't want to make a scene so you just try to get a small victory somewhere and you just make that tiny little thing and you're like, got him to you to like Jen. You know, that's just like, it's like, oh, like she should be carried through like the, the streets of the city. Like Katniss Everdeen with her fiery dress or something. She's like, I told her about the place. Yes, I won.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes. And also she's getting revenge because she looks at Kaylee as being so bossy. She's like, who is she to boss me around? So she's like, oh, really? Well, the place nats are in a. They're being shoved somewhere and I don't like it. And Kaylee's like, placements. Placement. Shoved where? Now it's like the lunch ones

[Ben Mandelker]

can't even tell the difference between the two placemats. I mean, you make a tablescape and yet to you all the placemats are the same and then you shove them. I don't think think so.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, wait, I put the, I put them neatly in the drawer under that. She was. Oh, really?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, it's supposed to go in the cupboard underneath the naked lady and it neatly. I mean, can anything be neat when it's in the wrong place?

[Ben Mandelker]

I, I think it's like pretty much like Yachting 101. Lunchtime placemats get put nicely under the naked lady in the cupboard. Everyone knows. Everyone knows.

[Ronnie Caram]

Also, could you be more specific? Because there was a half naked lady doing pole dancing on an umbrella. I was waiting for that umbrella.

[Kat Nat]

She's like, oh my God, pole dancing on an umbrella.

[Ronnie Caram]

And the other girls are like, yeah. I was like, please break. I just want that umbrella to break.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

And possibly stab her in the thigh because this is crazy. Get off the umbrella.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is the first resilient umbrella in the history of umbrellas. Normally umbrellas, like, if they have a chance to flop over or blow away or invert, they will take it. There's.

[Ronnie Caram]

They should remake the like platform with that umbrella because it is very. It's like unbreakable.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like every umbrella known to man will just like flop out of its hold. You can have an umbrella that is in the. It's in the table, in the hole in the table and its base is in the sand block that holds it down. There's a gust of wind at the umbrella's like, I'm Out. It just, like, flies up and out and just goes off to the dock. I'm like, but this umbrella is fine. Strange.

[Ronnie Caram]

They should put. They should put this umbrella in Nathan's hands for every time he crashes the boat into something.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. Yeah. Just, like. It's just. It's just a protective force. But, yeah, so the placemats. Not put. Not put in the right place. So Kelly's like, well, we were trying to keep the decorations together. That's why I did that. Sorry. It was, like, intentional. That was her way of saying, I'm so sorry that I did it properly. I'm so sorry.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. She knows what this girl's doing. And Jen tells us. I really feel like I'm the most qualified to be a second Stew because I do have years more experience than Kayla. And now she's lying for that. She's vying for that second Stew role by trying to be this happy little go lucky cheerleader. I do not trust it. I see you, smiley.

[Ben Mandelker]

I see you, future purser here. Out of the way. So then Jen is like, saying, like, I just need everything in its place. So let's put you in the trash can. Thank you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I knew everything in its place.

[Kat Nat]

Oh, yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

There's the gates of hell opening for you to go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, can we call up a shark so I can feed you to it? Thank you so much.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Kelly's like, oh, okay. Well, we'll learn. I. I'll learn how you like to work it, so just let me know. She has that, like, back scratching of her button, like, all right, I'm listening to Time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. My mom is the queen of the bargain find. I mean, you can't even compliment the woman without finding out how much something costs. I was like, mom, I really love your new dress. She's like, it was $5. I got this as a bargain, and I found the new place to make her so happy. I've never seen her so thrilled. It's called whatnot.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

It's a really cool site. It's really cool app. I was just clicking around on it this morning. I mean I'm always on the hunt, believe it or not, for like interesting bunt pans and there were so many on there, shockingly. But people are selling so much stuff on there.

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

I can confirm that his outdoor area looks great. And the thing is that you can get more than just seating. You can get grills, major appliances, storage, patio lighting, rugs, decorations. Wayfair really is your one stop shop for home.

[Ronnie Caram]

And the best thing about this place, well, not the best, one of the best is that you don't even have to put this stuff together. You can hire somebody from Wayfair to come put it over, put it all together for you. You know, and that's the best part because if I put it together, it's rickety. It's falling apart no matter where it's from. I just don't have that skill. But they do.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that is actually probably the part of Wayfair that I just tell my friends about just unsolicitedly. I just will say, like not only can you order the stuff, you someone else can put it together for you. Patio season is here and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now and get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W a Y F A I

[Ronnie Caram]

R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. Now listen, Kaylee, at first I was worried because I thought, oh no, Kaylee's going to be this too nice person who's trying to impress Kaylee, sees what Jen is doing, and Kaylee is gonna win this war. She's like, oh, really?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

You think you're gonna go try and make me look stupid and talk shit behind my back? I'm gonna undermine you in the most effortless way you've ever seen. So enjoy yourself, Purser.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she's. She's a. She's. She's perky, but she's not dumb.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's not dumb.

[Ben Mandelker]

She gets her. Good.

[Ronnie Caram]

She gets. What'd you say to finish?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's not. That's the most dangerous. Perky. Perky, but not dumb.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, intelligent. Perky. It's a very scary combination.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's a very scary, scary combination. I'll tell you someone who is not that perky and maybe not that smart is Cooper. Cooper's on the bridge. And what's so funny is Cooper is from Charleston. And on Love island, there's a guy named Caleb who's from Charleston. And I swear to God, these are the same people. I was like, I'm waiting for it to be revealed that they're brothers or is this just the way guys in Charleston look? I'm like, they look exactly the same to me. Did you see that?

[Ronnie Caram]

Same. They talk the same. They're very similar. Yeah, they are very similar on Love Island. That one, I was. We were just talking about this before we recorded. But that one is telling the girl. He's like, yeah, you know, I'm from Charleston. I really. She goes, what do you like to do? And he's like, oh, I like lawn dancing. You know how to do that? She's like, never mind. Dance. But, like, do you know how to, like, dance with one other person? He's like, yeah, I could do that, too. I can't.

[Ben Mandelker]

You see?

[Ronnie Caram]

And this guy seems very similar.

[Ben Mandelker]

Did you see there was a discussion between two people? I don't remember who it was. Maybe it was. Maybe it was Kenzie, but I don't remember. But someone. Someone was saying how, like, they were a Southern belle. They're like, what is the man version of Southern Bell? The other person goes, cowboy. I was like, okay, no, that's not. No.

[Ronnie Caram]

What would be the opposite of a Southern Bell?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's not cowboy. I feel like Southern Bell would have, like, some, like, Colonel Sanders type. Someone who's like, it's Foghorn Leghorn. Okay. But it's not a. I'm not seeing it as a cowboy.

[Ronnie Caram]

A cowboy. Well, I don't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's a Southern. A southern gentle. It'll be. I don't know.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's a Southern knocker who's a southern door. He's a southern knocker.

[Ben Mandelker]

Southern ring cam. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

So.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Nathan is fist bumping Coop because now Nathan is going to figure out who he can make lead deck. He's gonna try and pick anyone but Joe. So he's like, okay, this is your radar, and that's the land. Okay, this is land right here. He's like, yeah, so land. So if there's significant movement inside the circle, wake up, Captain Sandy. And he's like, oh, this is my first anchor watch.

[Ben Mandelker]

Land.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's just different color than the water. How am I supposed to know what that is? I'm a little insecure about my knowledge of the nautical world in general. I'm just nervous. How do boats even float? It's crazy. How come you can put soap in the water and that'll float, but if you put a spoon in the water, that'll sink? I just don't get it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Someone help me. By the way, I looked it up. We're both idiots.

[Kat Nat]

The.

[Ben Mandelker]

The. According to Google, the. The. The male version of a Southern bell is a Southern gentleman, so.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I said that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, you did say it. Okay, good.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, for. That was my first answer that. Then I changed it to Southern knocker because I was going opposite of bell.

[Ben Mandelker]

But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It could have been a Southern Gaston.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Southern bell just sounds like so much more creative than Southern gentlemen.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Because, like, a gentleman's a gentleman sort of everywhere. Like, a southern belle feels more unique. I think we need to have a. We need to come up with a better phrase for that. But anyway, back to this Southern gentleman. He is learning anchor watch, as you were talking about. And Nathan's like, this here is your wind monitor. You have all the episodes here every season. They're all there on demand. They're never going anywhere because they were built on this platform. So, you know, to catch up. Captain sand will be real happy with you if you.

[Ronnie Caram]

If.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, if you can talk with her about it.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is a wind monitor, otherwise known as Captain Sandy. Yeah, that's right. I'm monitoring wind.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Biggest viewer across all across all demographics. Okay. Love wins season 12. If it goes above 12, wake her up. And Cooper's like, okay. And Nathan's saying if he has someone green, he wants to show him how to do it right. Okay. So he's like, all right, good night, bro. So he leaves him alone. Meanwhile, the girls are still sliding down the umbrella like, oh, my God, it's like a pole.

[Ben Mandelker]

Meanwhile, Cooper is the first person in the history of all blow decks to be put on anchor watch and actually, like, take initiative and. And basically take initiative in. In the task. Most people, when we see them on anchor watch, they sit on a chair and then they doze off or they do something else, or they just go back to their room and go to sleep. But he's, like, staring at the numbers, and he's very scared because the numbers are inching towards 12. It's like 10, 11, 11 above 11. 10 again. 9, 11, 10, 11. Like, it goes to 12 for a second. He's like, what do I do? What do I do? So he goes in and he likes. He basically wakes up Captain Sandy, and she could not be any happier because she's like, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love it. No, you're good. You know, I love someone who's. I love someone who wants to learn, who wants to do things like, he's cute. You know, I love that Cooper's this proactive. That means he's paying attention. And people who pay attention are people who hug. And even though it's blowing 10 night, 10 knots, it's fine. Because I want green crew members to get experience, because the more experience you get, the more you need a nap. And the crew members that nap are the crew members that are happy. You see what I'm doing? So watch out, Somali pirates. I've got a new green stew or group green decky coming for you. Okay, I. I should probably go back to bed now.

[Ronnie Caram]

You know, some people need bread and some people need to be needed, so. Thanks, Cooper. Thanks for waking me up. Felt. Felt great. Okay, listen, it was a little above 10 knots. I get it. And he's like, I promise. It moved. She goes, I believe you. I believe you. Okay, wake me up again.

[Ben Mandelker]

She loved it. She was so happy.

[Ronnie Caram]

I like when she was like, I believe. Yeah, I believe. Okay, there, Coop.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, here's the great thing. It was just a bad dream. You go to sleep now. So it's the next morning, everyone wakes up, and Joy is going to figure out breakfast. She's like, I'm going to find this lu. Like. And I'm like, it's just like, give up. Give them a meal. It's not that deep.

[Ronnie Caram]

And it's like, why are you wearing a croissant as a mustache? Well, I'm sorry for watching American tv. Okay, so cat nature in the main salon and Everything's prep. Everything's prepped. You're ready. You're ready. Asian like, oh, my God. The way you did the fork is absolutely amazing. It's tear and dizzy. They cut some Aisha faces today, some Asia faces. They had one where she was just like this for a solid five seconds on screen. And I'm sorry for people who aren't on video, but I have to do it for that.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. Just. I know I saw that moment. What the hell? Oh, my God. And then, so Kaylee's asking Asia, let's say, how did you go to sleep? She's like, oh, my God. You guys love to play sportless. That's beautiful. So they're going to be going to this island of locrum, lockrum, lock, caram, Ronnie caram. And it's. It's perfect because it's a lot of flat rocks right next to the air. We can go cliff jumping. God. Nothing says fun like cliff jumping into an area that's next to a bunch of flat rocks. I'm like, give me those head injuries. I am ready for them.

[Ronnie Caram]

I think this. These guests have enough. Honestly, they're still swinging from umbrellas. They do not need more head injuries. Okay, Meanwhile, we've got Joy and Luke flirting. She's not really flirting. He's really flirting because he's a very G man who needs a lot of protein, and he is going to flirt with you. And I'm not saying that Joy isn't worth the flirting. I'm just saying beware any muscular man flirting with the chef, cuz all he wants is protein. You know, the man will use you for protein.

[Ben Mandelker]

He reminds me of one of those. Those really big Dalmatians. There's one in my neighborhood. It's like a Great Dane Dalmatian combo. It's huge. This huge, big old dog with spots.

[Ronnie Caram]

Sounds like a lot of knee problems to me.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Cruella would die, but, yeah, that's his vibe. And he. You're right. He's just. He just wants a snack. He wants some kibble and a steak on the side, if possible, which he actually gets.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So Kaylee's like, you working your magic again? She's like, I'm making. She's like, I'm making bagels. Homemade bagels. We don't see that often on this show. Is she trying to get me to marry you? I will. I will propose. Yeah, they were homemade. You can always tell a homemade bagel because they look crazy. They're never just, like, totally round little things. They look like, oh, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because you know what? I don't think I heard her say, I'm making bagels. I thought she was just putting out donuts. And I was like, those donuts look crazy. But they were homemade bagels. That makes so much more sense. I would. Wow. I've actually been thinking about trying to make. Try my hand at making bagels, but they take hours. They take hours and hours to make.

[Ronnie Caram]

There's a lot that goes into a bagel. That's why they all. They're all so different, you know, as you know, you have bagel Thursdays, you're a bagel aficionado. There's no. Every place has a different bagel. Every brand has. It's not a cons. It's not like just buying white bread, you know, where it's all very similar bagels are. There's tents.

[Ben Mandelker]

There's a lot of factors, and there's like multiple rises and there's like a boiling and then there's a. There's a baking. And then you gotta add like the. Is it the barley syrup or something to it. Like, there's like a whole bunch of crap is on there. That's just so much of Ronnie reacting to the barley syrup.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's just so much. You know, it's one of those things. Like it's a dollar. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I will give you the dollar to not.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm gonna do it once. Yeah, I'm gonna do it once. But like, you really. I think, like, if I were to do it, I think I would have to like, wake up at six in the morning in order to have my bagel ready at 10, 10am I think it's like a three to four hour process.

[Ronnie Caram]

Isn't it even longer? Don't they have to like, sit and stuff or rest there?

[Ben Mandelker]

There's an initial rise and then, then you have to. Then you have to like. I think you have to like, make them into the shape and then there's like another rise and then you do something. There may even be another mini rise. And then you, you do the boil and then you're baking.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's a lot. There's just so much. I know, like, how did people even invent bread? It takes so many steps. Like, how did you figure out all the rises? And it was lazy person who's like, oh, I've made the dough. I'm tired. They just leave it there. And like, oh, it's bigger now. All right, I'll miss it. I don't want to do It.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think so.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't want to do it. And then they mush it a little more, and they're like, I can't finish this. And then finally, someone's like, just bake it. Like, this is perfect. I gave up five times.

[Ben Mandelker]

I guarantee all the food that we enjoy, it was an accident. There was a Carol Burnett sketch years ago. I remember seeing it as a kid where she's like a cave woman, and her caveman husband comes home, and she's like, here, try this. She's like, what is this? She' like, it's milk. He's like, oh, this is delicious. How'd you make it? She's like, well, I was in the field, and I saw a cow, and it looked so pretty, and I just decided to go up and just squeeze it, and the stuff came out. So I just put this cup under the cow, and I drank it. And the guy's like, oh, why?

[Ronnie Caram]

But, like, I assaulted a cow. I basically assaulted a cow.

[Ben Mandelker]

If you think about it, so much of our food is like, what? What were you thinking? How did you even come up with this? Yeah, what was wrong with you? Why did you side go up that cow and squeez. Squeeze it?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, this up.

[Ben Mandelker]

This was the thing.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yep. Well, as someone who's eaten a lot of pencil erasers, I get it. So Nathan is talking to Luke, and he's telling him to go get changed. And Luke's like, thanks. If by some miracle I have energy in the morning, can I work out on the bow? I really want to work that out. He's like, sure. So then in the galley, Cat spills champagne off a tray, and she's like, I am definitely at the bottom of, like, the hierarchy. And it's not. I'm, like, used to. Because, like, academically, I've always been, like, top of my class. Like, top of everything. I wanted to be a lawyer at some point. I got a 165 on my LSAT. I could probably get a 175. Like, I work so hard to be the best. My mom and dad are so pets. Like, thanks for my school. I'd rather clean toilets.

[Ben Mandelker]

I really appreciated this monologue. It's like, the first time in a long time where we've had a stew Come on here and acknowledge, like, what they're really doing here. As opposed to Jen, who's like, I'm gonna be more successful than my two very successful Manhattanite parents. I'm gonna be someone who cleans toilets. I'm like, okay, like. Like, let's not really forget what you're doing here. And it's not any snobbery about the profession, but, like, let's. Like, it's just funny how there are so many people that come onto the show. Like, I'm looking to lead the. To lead the. To go transition into, like, the golden life. I want to be happy around glitz and glamour. I want to be that. It's like, you're still cleaning toilets, though. You're still serving other people, and that's a perfectly fine profession. But, like, don't lose sight. Like, don't confuse. You are not above. You're not above deck. You're below deck. And I like that. Cat's like, yep, I'm cleaning toilets. That's what I'm doing. Sorry, mom and dad.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I really like Cat. So she sees herself in the mirror, and she. Or like, a window, and she's like, oh, my God, Why am I shaped like this? My posture is crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, is that me on screen? I also like that she's not even trying to buy for first or for, like, second or third. So she's just like, yeah, I'm. I'm bad at this. I'm just fully bad. Don't worry.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't care. I get to travel with, like, lots of hot people.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm fine with it. I'm just happy.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then Asia is talking to the guests and asking where Mad and Angela. And the guy's like, do you think we could have breakfast without him? Come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God.

[Ronnie Caram]

One of the ladies is like, come on, mom and dad. We're starving. Doing our mom and our dad. I don't know. Except they're selling you. Which I guess happens, you know? But the mom, the one they're calling mom, looks so much like Rula from Real Housewives of Rhode Island. It's. I think it's the lips. I think it's, like, the lip work. But, yeah, I just see Rula, and I feel so almost bad for her, except I'm like, run, Wor. Get. Move. Go. I'll come pick you up.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then we. Then Asia is. Is, you know, offering pastries, and then she's talking to Jen and Cat, and she's asking if they want to get started on cabins. So they do that. And now we go to Matt, and he's talking to Sandy, and Sandy's like, hey, so, Matt, what did you think of your dessert? Did it. Did it make your hair happy? And he's like, oh, God, yeah. Oh, wow. And I love those little pink butts. Last night, that was amazing. I'm like, those were hearts, you idiot. Those are raspberry hearts.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is the guy. Every single thing is sexual to him. He's like, yeah, it looked like a bunch of little pink asses. I loved it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, it was. Those were hearts, not butts. But I'm glad. I'm glad you have revealed your Rorschach test.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes. So the crew mess, Josie's Nathan, and he's like, morning, lad. I had a good solid three and a half hours of sleep or something like that. Why? Well, I Woke up at 4 today. And he's like, but your shift is at 5, and now I have to put you down essentially an hour early. Let's just stick to our roster, shall we?

[Ben Mandelker]

If I were Chief Steve, I would have woken up myself a little bit earlier. He's like, the reason why I'm here. It's a showcase my career advancements to Captain Sandy. You know, I've been a Boston before. I could do any job that you give me. But is Nathan going to allow me to show my tulip colors, my true potential? Probably not. You're not here to show your career advancement to Captain Sandy. You're here to do your job. And so settle down. Wake up when you're supposed to.

[Ronnie Caram]

But he knows. He knows what's happening. He knows that Nathan is gonna block him. Like, I. I love that about both of them this season, that they're just. They're starting off like, I'm gonna ruin this life.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, seriously. So Joe's, like, saying, it won't happen again. I just thought I'd let you know so I don't keep anything from you. Oh, sure. Thank you. Thank you for pretending this is a virtuous moment of honesty. So the guests are all very happy with the food, and Sandy is doing one of her favorite activities, which is putting up some binoculars and looking out in the distance going, huh? That's it.

[Ronnie Caram]

God, I love this banana. So Joe and Luke are now on deck. And Joe's like, we're looking spot on. Scuppers is Nathan's pet hate. So I get on me hands and knees to do that. You really want to please him? Get on your hands and knees.

[Ben Mandelker]

He demands it and looks like, dude, you've got very strong character. You have a basin. And Joe's like, I love this gig. He's like, yes, I know you do. This gig suits you well, too. I'm like, this is sort of sounding like the beginning of a gay porn, so not bad at it. Yeah. Yeah, we're ready for it.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then Nathan and Sandy, he's like, well, I wanted to have a chat with you about. Regarding the point in the lead. Dark hand. Such like, okay, who is it gonna be? Does his name rhyme with Snow? No. Does it rhyme with Bo?

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ronnie Caram]

Does it rhyme with.

[Kat Nat]

No?

[Ronnie Caram]

No.

[Ben Mandelker]

Running out. You gotta help me. He's like, I'm thinking about Cooper. You know? You know, I'm sorry. No, I didn't mean Cooper. Jesus Christ. Cooper's so green. God, I love how green he is. You know, he woke me up three times last night just because he saw an ant on the floor. I was so happy.

[Ronnie Caram]

I woke up this morning, he was just standing in the middle of the bridge, staring at the screen, saying, there is a castle on a cloud. I used to go there in my sleep. So, no, not him. Luke. Luke is very professional. She's like, luke? Yeah. He's very attentive. Wait, come on now. Why not Joe? Why not Joe? Come on. He's like, why not Joel? Well, I feel like the past seasons, Joe's been great. Okay? He's helped me out. But there's certain times I feel like I can't trust him enough. I. I trust Luke more than I can trust Joel now. This is where he should have just been. Like, I can't trust that little.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's under my. Exactly. And he's trying to make me look stupid. And he doesn't like me because I stood up against him, acting like crap to that girl all season, who he treated like total dog. And he's not a good person. I don't want him under me. You deal with it. Replace him, and I'll put your replacement up as lead deckhander. Whatever.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, What. And what he really should have said on top of that was, I can't trust him. And on top of that, Luke has a willingness to learn. And I really feel like I. Not only can I mold him, you can mold him. And he's just a sponge. And, yes, he's a little rough around the edges, but by the end of the season, I know he is going to be an inspiration to everyone. Santa, like, oh, yeah. Oh, God. He can learn. Oh, my God. Just put him in the tender. Let him crash it five times. I don't care. It's a learning experience. Experience.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's got a T shirt, A T shirt that says hugs, not drugs. Oh, my God. Just climaxed. Okay. Put him in charge. Put him in charge of the whole boat.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's. That's what he needed to do. Yeah. Sandra's like, listen, I'm having a hard time with this decision. I mean, why did they move wind from 8pm to 9pm okay. Some of us have to wake up early in the morning. Oh, and your decision, too. I don't like that either. I'm struggling with it. Is it cool to wait for the second charter? Why don't you wait? Okay. Just. Just maybe think on it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. She's like, joe has more experience than Luke. And Nathan's worked with Joel before. Nathan needs to pause and think about the decision before he makes it. Okay, well, yes, Joel has a skill set, but he's gonna try and undermine me. Does he have my best interest at heart? Is he gonna fuck every girl on the boat and ruin crew morale? Okay, you don't care that he fucks every girl on the boat, so stop bringing that into it. And that's not business. I mean, in any other job, yes, it could be business. But this is below deck. Like, suddenly you guys are going to make that matter. And why are you making me stand up for Joe? I hate Joe.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I just. Well, I'm not really standing up for Joe. I think this is clearly a. He's definitely going with emotions on this decision, but I don't know. I don't think it's like. I really don't think it's the worst. But then later on, I'm like, well, yeah, maybe he just. She should go with Joe, because Luke did crash the tender right away, but

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm such a wuss and say, Joe, we don't say it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Stand in it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, we don't get along. We ended badly. I don't agree with how things went last season. Let's start over. You know, you're obviously the best person for this job. I'm gonna trust you with that, and I'm gonna trust that you're not gonna go undermine me and try and do all this. I mean, be an adult. Bolt. But he's. He's being as undermining as Joe, you know? And then he's flying off the handle and bringing personal stuff into it. He's just bad. He's just bad at this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. You know, God, thank God they're not both women. Because you know what? Women are so emotional. Thank God these guys have it all together. Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

This episode is sponsored by Klarna. You know, when you buy something practical like groceries, plane tickets, or. Honestly, I just did a whole. I need a new summer clothes, because apparently none of last year's clothes survived my emotional support, snacking era situation and you realize you're not thinking about what you're buying but how you're paying for it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I've actually been using Klarna for that because it gives you options. You can pay now, later or over time depending on how you want to handle it. Sometimes I'll split something into a few payments so I don't have to deal with it all at once. And I like that. You know, I like that everything's super clear in the app. You always know what you owe and when so there aren't weird surprises.

[Ronnie Caram]

And it's not just for huge purchases either. I've used it for everyday stuff and you can even get cash back and deals in the Klarna app, which honestly feels like kind of a smarter way to handle spending day to day. Less pressure, more flexibility.

[Ben Mandelker]

Download the Klarna app today or visit klarna.com to learn more.

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

crappkins

[Ben Mandelker]

so Luke is flirting with joy. He's like, hello, Shift. And she's like, hello, how are you? He's like, I'm amazing. How are you? And they're just like, you know, he

[Ronnie Caram]

does the French thing. So many French people have told me this. Why are you laughing? It's like, I'm just. I don't know. Why are you laughing? It's like when I see you smiling, you know, I don't know. I laugh when you smile. I don't know. You should be lucky. I am smiling at you.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now here's his story. He's growing up. I was scrawny, weird kind of voice kid. And I never really had the confidence to go to girls. But when I was 15, my mom gifted me a Men's Health health book, which is a really funny thing to gift your son.

[Ronnie Caram]

No kidding.

[Ben Mandelker]

What the hell is the mom. She's like, stop late.

[Kat Nat]

Here's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here's a magazine.

[Ronnie Caram]

Mom's like, all right, enough jerking off. To international mail. Here's a male men's fitness. Okay, Geez. At least there's more words in it and you can read something.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he basically read it and then got into it and took him 14 years, and in 2019, he made it to the COVID of Men's Health. So there you go. His backstory. I actually like Luke so far. Famous last words. I'm sure he will reveal himself to be a douchebag soon enough. But you can tell he was, like, a dork growing up because, no, he

[Ronnie Caram]

was not a dork. What was. He makes like a completely normal child. What?

[Ben Mandelker]

He makes all these weird voices that I feel like someone who was, like, a nerd would have made. You know, I feel like anyone who is, like, like, popular and cool would never make the. Do the weird little jokes that he does. So I feel like it's an encouraging sign.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, God forbid someone makes weird little voices around here.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I'm saying it's a good thing. I'm saying that someone who is popular doesn't have to rely on, like, developing that instinct, right? Because they're just accepted. Are you defending the popular people right now?

[Ronnie Caram]

No, I'm defending myself. Like, what the hell are you making fun of me for? And by the way, I.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's all of us.

[Ronnie Caram]

I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's true.

[Ronnie Caram]

I have. My penis has looked at a lot of Internet or a lot of men's fitness catalogs, and I still struggle with my weight. So what the hell kind of reading was he doing?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, he just was.

[Ronnie Caram]

My penis is very strong, though.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's just he's, he, you know, he just didn't have a lot of activities, I guess. I don't know. Not a lot of. I don't know.

[Ronnie Caram]

I just. Whenever. It's like a really hot guy is like, oh, it was just such a dorky kid. And then they cut to him as a kid. He's like a person. Perfectly cute kid. I'm like, I'm sure. Okay, yeah, you're real hideous.

[Ben Mandelker]

I thought he looked legitimately dorky. I was like, okay, I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give him this one, I think. I just like that he's done, like a one or two little weird, like, voices, like, jokey voice, things where I'm like, I, I love that he is, like, this big, buff guy, but he still sees himself as a dweeb. I love, I love when, when guys are like that.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't think he sees himself.

[Ben Mandelker]

You don't think, But I get you.

[Ronnie Caram]

I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. I'm not getting huge douchebag vibes from him so far. I'm just getting a using the chef for protein vibe from him, which makes me wary. But, yeah, I mean, look, I'm not a hater or whatever. He seems, like, cute and nice.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's gonna annoy us. He's gonna annoy us. I'm just saying right now, I, I, I'm enjoying him. He's gonna go down the path of Culver, where he'll be like, oh, he'll be fine. And then he'll turn out to be lazy and annoying and then sort of shitty. So, like, that will happen. But for right now, I'm, I'm enjoying this aspect of his personality.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So Asia is talking to Kaylee, and she's like, all right, you're gonna go with the deck team to sit up, and then when the guests want to come, all come. Okay. You're gonna do the beach picnic. It's very exciting. It's gonna send Jen into a spiral for a reason that nobody can really understand. Stand.

[Kat Nat]

All right. Fun.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don't forget to not shove the place mats on the island. Jen in the background, angrily looking out the window like she's putting the placemats out wrong.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Joy is making sushi, and she's like, I love sushi. A yacht chef is very important to know every cuisine. When I was working for my boss, he was professional baseball player. He loved my cuisine so much, he offered to pay for my culinary courses all around the world. And I went to Varona Chocolate School, Thailand, Master Sushi Academy in Japan. I flied from McDonald's so many. I've cooked crazy things. Chicken feet, crocodile, the bowls of a rooster,

[Ben Mandelker]

an entire human.

[Ronnie Caram]

I've never heard the balls of a rooster. Was that a thing I've heard of?

[Ben Mandelker]

I guess so. Yeah. I've heard of different testicles, but I haven't rooster balls. Wait, it sounds vaguely familiar. It sounds vaguely familiar as a cuisine. I feel like I heard about it somewhere in some random ass thing. But generally speaking, I would say no, that's not something that like, pings on my radar as like a cuisine. Who is eating the rooster balls? That's what I'm. I'll look it up, everyone. Guys, don't worry. I'm on the Internet. I will take.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, I've heard of that. I mean, I've heard of eating lots of different kinds of testicles, but I've just never heard of the rooster.

[Ben Mandelker]

In what cuisine are rooster testicles consumed? I asked it very formally and we're gonna find out very soon what's really thinking about it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Huh?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's really thinking.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's a long time for the Internet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, a lot of mine. Okay, so rooster testicles, often referred to as chicken testicles or chicken balls, are consumed as a delicacy in several global cuisines. They are particularly prominent in Chinese, Vietnamese and Hungarian cuisines. So there you go. They're prized for their soft tofu like, or custard like texture, and are frequently used for their purported health benefits, such as boosting male virility and improving skin tone. You would have known that if you've been reading Men's Health since you were 15 years old.

[Ronnie Caram]

We asked a very prominent rooster what he thinks of this and he said, ow. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

He said, cockadoodle. Don't.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, so Joy doesn't have to go to the picnic. And she's like, good. I can focus on cake. Which is literally how I decline every invitation. Like, I'm so sorry. Gotta focus on the cake.

[Ben Mandelker]

Great. I can focus on the cake. The autobiography of Ben Mandelker.

[Ronnie Caram]

That'll be my political stance because they have like, focus on the family and they're like, down with gay people. I'm going to be like, you know what, let's forget about the gay people for a second. Focus on the cake. Who's not going to vote for that?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, the problem is, unfortunately, you try to focus on the cake and then some baker in Colorado makes that an anti gay issue. It's like, I'm just trying to Focus on the cake. Why you have to give this to us. Okay,

[Ronnie Caram]

so I just ate a down with Adam and Steve cake. It was delicious. It's not Adam and Steve. My acid isn't

[Ben Mandelker]

so Joy is. God, I would love a cake right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

I would love a cake right now. I'm so hungry for cake. By the way, I did eat that candy out of the trash yesterday. I'm. And then I woke up mortified. Of course. I threw some chocolate reasons, some choco reasons in the trash and I was like, well, there's nothing disgusting in the trash and they're wrapped individually, girl. I took them out and wiped them down and unwrapped them and ate them while I watched Love Island. The worst thing to watch while you're binging out on something like, oh my God, am I hot enough?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, let me have my garbage reasons.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm eating garbage Candy and watching 22 year old Perfect bodies bang.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I've got my College reunion, my 25 year college reunion coming up this weekend. So of course, if you have a college reunion, you have to get the best shape of your life. Which is why naturally, I went and bought like some Kinder Boy nose this morning because I'm just, I can't stop eating those.

[Ronnie Caram]

Do people do that before high school

[Ben Mandelker]

reunions or a college any reunion? I mean, the idea is that you want to go and look good, right? Be like, oh, hey, how's it going?

[Ronnie Caram]

No, I didn't look good then, why should I show up looking good now?

[Ben Mandelker]

I put all my effort into looking good for BravoCon. And since then I've now been like, I can't be bothered.

[Ronnie Caram]

Those people wouldn't fuck me then, they ain't going to fuck me now, I don't care. I'm gonna do the same thing during the reunion I did during high school, which is smoke at the smoker's wall with the smoking people.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'll be very intrigued if Mindy shows up to the reunion. That'll be really fun. I'm like, hey, Mindy, I have been really into Kinder. Kinder. Buenos. Would you like one?

[Ronnie Caram]

Like, really? I've really been into making successful television shows. It's been, it's been fun.

[Ben Mandelker]

I've been really into hanging out with Kate Hudson. Like, oh, well, I, I met Meredith Marks. She's like, I don't know.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay, so we have the beach picnic getting set up and there's been a request for a special cake celebrating their years on the Las Vegas strip. Now listen, these people keep telling us how Successful they are in Las Vegas. I've been to Vegas many times. Have you ever heard of the X shows? I mean, I've seen shows that are like x. X adult show, but that's kind of literally never, right? Yeah, literally never.

[Ben Mandelker]

But I also tune out all the. For straight guys except for the sports stuff. But like the. But like the. The scantily clad women showgirl stuff for the. For the straight guys. It's like it does not even. Like it's.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's.

[Ben Mandelker]

It just goes, right? It just cascades, right?

[Ronnie Caram]

I see those billboards and I'm like, oh, my God, I wonder if those girls want to go to Legend with me. They look so.

[Ben Mandelker]

By the way, was there you know that the Vanderpump Hotel opened this weekend?

[Ronnie Caram]

Of course I do.

[Ben Mandelker]

A lot of our colleagues were invited to it. It looked like a. Looked like a fun old time, Right? Did you. Has there been any gossip that's come out of that that you've heard of?

[Ronnie Caram]

No, I didn't know that people were invited and we weren't worried. Trying to ruin my day.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, why should we be invited to a. It's not like we've been supporting Vanderpump rules since the very beginning, including this season that everyone hated but we liked. It's okay, don't invite us.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, whatever, jerks. Whatever. I will go stay there. I mean, it used to be the

[Ben Mandelker]

Cromwell, now it's the Crom. Better. But yeah. Okay, well, if there's any good stories, someone tell us. So now we're back. Can you tell how much we're like trying to talk about anything but this show right now, so.

[Ronnie Caram]

And it's a good show too, so I don't know why. Because it's season so far, so they're talking about the decoration of the cake and she's. Joy's asking if she can have Kaylee decorate the cake because Kaylee is of course also good at doing cakes, which is great, but. Oh, my God, Jen is gonna lose her fucking mind. Oh, you do cakes too? Oh, don't think I don't see what you're doing.

[Ben Mandelker]

You want to see how I decorate a cake? And we'll just cut you a picture of a wedding cake with a giant cleaver in the middle of it. There's your decoration. So now Luke is. Nathan's talking to Luke and he's. He's like, I did. He's like, I did tell Captain Sandy that Luke could be a patcher, could be a lead back deckhand material. So now I Just have to test him a little more and see that. Like, that I can make a. The decision based on facts and not emotion. So let's see how he is as a. As a potential lead deckhand. Oh, no, Luke, you've. You've just thrown the anchor into the. Into the wheelhouse. That's not where it goes. No. Oh, no. Oh, terrible.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So he lets him drive the tender. So Luke Nathan is sitting next to him. He's like, okay, turn right. You're gonna go right here. He's like, am I going past the brown hut? He's like, yes. Okay, now walk down these steps. Set it up. It's like, copy. So we know this is going to be a disaster. We just see it coming. So Kat is like, oh, hello there, Jen. Are you going to the beach? And she's like, no, it's fine.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, oh, I'll just be here fixing all the placemats that were shoved everywhere. So then Kaylee is there. People are setting up at locker room and everything. And then Joe is. He's talking to the charter guests and they're putting in drink orders. They ask for a Malibu Coke. And he's like, what was that? He's like, malibu. Malibu cock. Malibu cock. Malibu cock. Cock. Malibu cock. They want a Malibu cock.

[Ronnie Caram]

So he's giving these orders on the radio, and he gets to that, and he's like, and a Malibu cock.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm sorry, that wasn't clear.

[Ronnie Caram]

A Malibu Cock.

[Ben Mandelker]

Of what?

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, so wait, guys, what's in a Malibu Cock? And they're like, oh, my God, it's a Malibu and Coke. Oh, it's a Malibu Coke.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she's like, that makes way more sense. So the guests, they arrive at their picnic and they're very happy, and there's a peacock. And then someone goes, I got bitten by a peacock at the Detroit Zoo. That's on you. I'm sorry,

[Ronnie Caram]

girls. These girls are so funny. I got bitten by a peacock at the Detroit Zoo. I died.

[Ben Mandelker]

Why were you that close to the peacock at the zoo? Anytime someone gets injured by an animal at the zoo, I'm like, that's your fault. That's your fault. The animals. Those are animals, and you're humans. You should know better. And there's. There's probably healthy barriers between you and the animal. So, like, don't complain to me about your stupid incident.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like, this is why Carol never ate a peacock in that sketch.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's right.

[Ronnie Caram]

They better ask.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's why we. And that's why we don't have peacock milk. Nor are peacock balls part of any sort of world cuisine.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Kat Nat]

Hey everyone.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

[Ronnie Caram]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Karlie Clapp.

[Ronnie Caram]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Ben Mandelker]

Darren McNicholas she don't miss no Tricolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's no BS we love Hugo es Jamie. She has no last namey.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch she's our favorite streamer.

[Ronnie Caram]

Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets a name from us it's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O' Halloran. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is Living with Michelle Vivian I

[Ronnie Caram]

love Aya Olivia Williamson.

[Ben Mandelker]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes, we canna It's Savannah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Ronnie Caram]

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10

[Ben Mandelker]

cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin o'.

[Ronnie Caram]

Neal. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.

[Ronnie Caram]

Have a kebab with K. Rob.

[Ben Mandelker]

My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo let's get savage with Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy, always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlas Rogers.

[Ronnie Caram]

The incredible edible Matthew s sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sharrous. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Ronnie Caram]

We cannot tell a lie.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's Sarah Tellifson Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.

[Ronnie Caram]

Strike a pose. It's Tory Rhodes. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.

[Kat Nat]

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