#3426 House of the Dragon S03E01: A Total Ship Show

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3426: House of the Dragon S03E01: A Total Ship Show

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: June 23, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this lively, irreverent recap, Ben and Ronnie celebrate the triumphant return of House of the Dragon’s third season and break down the explosive, dragon-filled premiere after a two-year gap. With their trademark humor and affectionately snarky insight, the hosts analyze messy Targaryen politics, disastrous dragon battles, and that unexpectedly emotional ship showdown. As always, expect deep dives, off-topic Bravo references, and good-natured confusion about character names.

---

Main Themes & Discussion

• Season 3’s Premiere: A Worthy Return

  • Both hosts are thrilled about the show’s improved pacing, brighter cinematography, and tightly-packed drama, noting that this episode recaptured the “spirit of original Game of Thrones.”
  • [03:07] Ben: “This is the first time where I was like, ‘oh, this was, like, legit, really good episode. Really strong, tight. Everything moved together really well.’”

• This Episode Was Originally a Finale

  • The hosts reveal the episode was intended as last season’s finale but delayed due to the writers’ strike, making for an especially explosive season opener.
  • [04:38] Ronnie: “Apparently this was supposed to be the season finale of the second season... So it really makes more sense that way. Right? Because everything was leading up to this big, you know, war starting.”

• Visuals and Catching Up (or Not)

  • Both struggle to remember characters but agree the show is much more colorful now.
  • [03:07] Ben: “The first season was almost entirely a black screen... This year, they're like, okay, we're actually gonna add a little bit of a color palette.”

---

Key Storylines & Recap (with Timestamps)

Reina & the Wild Dragon Sheepstealer

• [05:35] - [10:35]
  • Reina is still questing for Sheepstealer, the wild dragon notorious for overcooking sheep and flaunting a pronounced underbite.
  • Ben and Ronnie riff on the dragon’s lack of self-respect and its “embarrassing” name, imagining how dragons could use modern conveniences like air frying or Apple CarPlay (!).
  • [09:13] Ronnie: “I would be offended too if someone was just like, hey, Eminem Eater. Like, excuse me.”
  • Comic banter about Reina being the “worst babysitter” for abandoning her charges to dragon hunt.
• Quote:
  [07:20] Ben: “How cute was this Invisalign? So cute. I was like, but I did want it to have some Invisalign.”

Aegon & Larys’s Great Escape

• [14:12] - [23:54]
  • Aemond is on a rampage in King’s Landing, searching for his missing brother, Aegon, who’s fleeing town with Larys (who they note is looking especially “glowed up” this season).
  • Border patrol-style banter as soldiers stop their carriage, demanding fealty to Queen Rhaenyra; Larys reveals Aegon’s identity to avoid death.
  • [17:17] Ronnie: “Laris definitely had a glow up. I don’t know what it is either... but there is something subtly different.”
  • [18:55] Larys (paraphrased): “I’m a simple man of service from the Citadel and we are taking these ravens to White Harbor.”
  • [19:14] Aegon: “I’m the king of nothing, with raven shit for a throne and a cripple for a protector. I’m pathetic.”

Rhaenyra (Ray Ray) Weighs Alicent’s Surrender

• [24:14] - [27:18]
  • Rhaenyra debates Alicent’s peace offer; her son Jace warns it’s a “ruse, mummy, cloaked in a style friendship.”
  • [25:14] Ronnie: “She basically flew on a stool to get here. Surely she's not lying.”
  • Discussion about how current timelines and communication would help (“If she had, like, Threads, she’d be like, oh wait, the king’s missing!”).

Triarchy Battle Prep and First Signs of Chaos

• [32:23] - [34:47]
  • Ship talk: Corlys (Sea Snake) prepares his fleet; Daemon wraps a brutal campaign in the Riverlands.
  • They joke about the inescapable “Triarchy” storyline and the over-the-top characterization of new villainess Lohar.
  • [33:42] Ronnie: “And what about the gorgeous Lord Lannister? And Tully’s like, he ran when the cavalry broke rank.”

---

Memorable Moments, Banter & Quotes

• Sheepstealer Comedy
  [08:37] Ben: “It’s a good thing that her hair is already just like white because like, she... I was like, this is not the same young woman that we met before.”
  [09:21] Ronnie: “Can you give me some better [names]? Like, what the hell?”

• Dragon/Boat Analogies
  [12:23] Ben: “Dragons are like boats. Their best days are the days you get them and the days you sell them.”

• Show Lore Confusion
  [34:33] Ben: “You know the River Man Tully. House Tully. That was Red Wedding House, right? Or was that...”

• Parenting & Drinking at Sea Snake

  • [45:33] Ronnie (on SASDad talk): “I want to teach you the best time to drink is when you're driving.”

• Ship Battle Mayhem
  [65:03] Ben: (on dragons being good at commands) “They just have a good instinct.”
  [67:46] Ronnie: “She throws [Tyaland] over and starts throwing everybody over.”

• Character Deaths

  • Emotional reaction to the dragon and Jace’s demise in battle, viewed as both inevitable and painful.
  • [72:06] Ben: “We don’t like it because it’s like the dragon gets killed because of Jace’s stupid ego... Now look what's happened. There are not a lot of dragons left and you’ve just killed one."
  • [74:18] Ben: “Hell no. I’m not gonna cry for this twerk burp like he lost his mom. No, I. No, no. This is toxic masculinity. He locked his mom in that room. He gets what he deserves. Sorry.”
  • [74:53] Ronnie: “What’s gonna happen now to Reina?... Now she’s got this dragon that, like, burned a bunch of their own ships and got the son killed.”

---

Important Timestamps

• 00:32 – The podcast kicks off with announcement and show context.
• 02:10 – First reactions: “So bad, it was amazing.”
• 14:12 – Aemond interrogates the court about missing Aegon.
• 19:19 – Larys & Aegon’s disguised travel intercepted.
• 24:14 – Rhaenyra discusses peace with Alicent.
• 32:23 – Corlys & battle strategy scenes.
• 45:33 – Father-son bonding on Sea Snake.
• 60:35 – Ship battle erupts, dragons join in.
• 68:01 – Reina’s dragon runs wild, chaos in the skies.
• 71:31 – Jace’s dragon is killed; Jace follows.
• 75:32 – Alan defeats Lohar; fallout from the naval battle.
• 80:31 – Final reactions: best episode yet, bullish on the season.

---

Final Thoughts

• The hosts agree this was the most thrilling, cohesive episode the show has delivered yet, crediting its action, high stakes, and character-driven chaos. Ben finds it “the most excited I’ve been about this show,” while Ronnie is still emotionally devastated by the dragon carnage.
• Both look forward to seeing more focus on Rhaenyra’s resolve and hope Daemon’s side plots get reined in for more direct impact.

---

Notable Quotes (With Attribution)

• [03:07] Ben: “And this is the first time where I was like, oh, this was, like, legit, really good episode. Really strong, tight.”
• [17:17] Ronnie: “Laris definitely had a glow up. I don’t know what it is either. ... He was hot.”
• [24:48] Ronnie (as Alicent): “Kill my kids. Kill my kids. Okay? I do not even care. I’ll give you my children. Just let me go on a vacation. Celebrity is so hard.”
• [12:23] Ben: “Dragons are like boats. Their best days are the days you get them and the days you sell them.”
• [25:14] Ronnie: “She basically flew on a stool to get here. Surely she's not lying.”
• [66:07] Ben: “Nothing can possibly go wrong from this point forward.”
• [72:06] Ben: “The dragon gets killed because of Jace’s stupid ego.”
• [80:31] Ben: “I think it may have been their best episode yet. It was just very, very exciting.”

---

Episode Tone and Style

As always, Ben and Ronnie blend sharp pop culture wit with loving exasperation at confusing Westerosi genealogies and plot twists, never hesitating to mock dragons, ships, and themselves in equal measure. Their recap delivers both laughter, genuine engagement, and a surprisingly comprehensive rundown of the chaos that launched season three.

---

For further discussion and bonus content, listeners are invited to join their Patreon and Discord.

Transcript

[Ronnie Caram]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[Ben Mandelker]

Foreign. Welcome to Winter is Crappening. It is our Game of Thrones House of the Dragon podcast and it is back after two year absence because that's just the way House the dragon rolls. Four episodes, a bunch of dragons and then 10 years between the seasons. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today to talk about the season three premiere is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how's it going?

[Ronnie Caram]

Good, how are you?

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm doing fabulously. Very excited to talk about this episode. Before we dive in, a reminder for people who may have not been tuning in for a while that we have a Patreon. And on our Patreon we offer a whole bunch of amazing stuff. We do a weekly bonus episode. We also Ronnie writes a fabulous newsletter that's kind of like a recap of the shows of the week and that's free even if you're not a Patreon member. We also have ad free listening and we also have video where you can watch us not just listen. If you would like to sign up, you can go to patreon.com watch what crappens and all the good stuff is there. And there's actually even more than that. There's quips, there's discord, there's like a whole thing going on on Patreon. So go check that out. And in the meantime, we can just get right back to our dragon, our dragon living lives. We are here to talk about it. Ronnie, what did you think about this season premiere for House of the Dragoons?

[Ronnie Caram]

It was so bad. It was amazing. I was screaming, I was yelling, I was crying. I watched season two again. I did a rewatch of season two minus some Heron hall scenes. I have to say those got a big FF for me. Okay, shot through those once. But season two, I really love House of the Dragon for the most part. You know, there's been some weak parts here and there, but I love it. And watching season two was really good. I forgot how blue it was like everything all time. And this one, the first thing I thought was, wow, there's like color this season. That's. They took that to heart. But watch the whole season. Watch some recaps of the season. I still probably don't know anybody's name or how it goes. And now is the time to remind people if you're looking for a very serious and accurate recap of these show of House of the Dragon, this is really not. This is not where the masses when

[Ben Mandelker]

it comes to this stuff, I am not judicious the way Ronnie is. I did not go back and rewatch because I also don't think that a TV show like you should be obligated to do that. I am sitting on watching it the way I would have watched it anyway. And so you will hear some maybe frustrating questions from me, like, what's that person's name again? Who did they do? What was their thing? And I apologize. But don't act like you weren't doing the same thing, too, okay? We all were in the same boat, I have to say, about the color. It was more colorful. I feel like every year, this show takes a step forward towards looking nice. The first season was almost entirely a black screen. Like, you literally could see nothing. Last season, they're like, okay, we'll give you some light, but we're gonna make sure everything looks blue, like the. Like, certain scenes from the movie Traffic by Steven Soderbergh. And this year, they're like, okay, we're actually gonna add a little bit of a color palette. So I agree. It's sort of moving in the right direction. And I have to say, I agree. I thought this premiere was great, and that's, like, the first time in this show where I feel like I was like, oh, my God, that episode was so good. Like, I feel like in the past, there have been episodes where I've said, that was a really good episode. Almost like, wow, they have so many dull, boring episodes that I'm so impressed that they had, like, a really good episode. And this is the first time where I was like, oh, this was, like, legit, really good episode. Really strong, tight. Everything moved together really well. It sort of had the spirit of, like, the original Game of Thrones to me. So I'm, like, really excited for where the season goes now based off that opening up.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, apparently this was supposed to be the season finale of the second season, but. But due to the writers strike and stuff, they had to end it at season eight last year, so they didn't have this episode. So it really makes more sense that way. Right. Because everything was leading up to this big, you know, war starting. So really, really strong. Also, I don't. I didn't watch it again because I felt obligated. It wasn't like, oh, I have to do this for work. It was because I literally don't remember anything. I mean, when we talk about Below Deck every season, I'm like, who? Like, we'll talk about last season. You know, that may have just air a week ago. And I just. Everything's deleted out of my head. So I just have to. Because I don't remember. And also, I really love this show. I watch. I rewatched all of Game of Thrones too, back when we started doing this podcast. Because we didn't start doing this show until the last season, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Last season, yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So I watched it all and I just love it more because I understand more, you know, when I see it a second time. But yeah. And also you can. You can fast forward stuff, which makes it helpful. We ended last season with Reyna, not to be confused with Ray Ray or Rainier, is looking for that, you know, dragon, wild dragon girl, because she heard from Lady Jane that there is a dragon and is roaming around and it's just frying sheep. Dragons for reasons they need to be more chill with how they're cooking. I mean, this guy just like cooks

[Ben Mandelker]

that it's black, you know, it's just like, it's all. It's always cooked the same way. It's like, okay, we get it. You love to grill.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

But if you're ancient, like, you guys

[Ronnie Caram]

haven't learned any Z.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you know about air frying? Have you heard about that? I think it's so funny. Well, first of all, poor Reina spent all of last season, it felt like wandering around hillsides looking for this giant dragon. And I think it's funny. It's like, rumor has it there's a giant dragon out here. The dragon is enormous. How's no one seen it? Like, and it flies around. It's so. It's just, it's such a visible thing. And they're like, well, we hear there's a dragon. Like, did you not hear that noise? Did you notice how the sheep are gone? Did you see the things?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, they knew that there was a dragon. It's just that Lady Jane didn't tell Reina there was a dragon necessarily because it's a wild dragon. So she's like, like, it's not like that dragon's protecting our land. You still have to send us more dragons. Like, what? I got a couple of baby dragons and then some wild ass underbite dragon. Oh, my God. We finally see this dragon and it has this huge underbite.

[Ben Mandelker]

How cute was this Invisalign? So cute. I was like, but I did want it to have some Invisalign. I was like, you know, let's. Let's help this dragon out a little bit. I forgot about Lady Jane, by the way. She's very withholding, so it makes sense that she wouldn't Say where the dragon is, because she just didn't seem to like these kids anyway.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, it's a wild dragon, you know, what are you gonna do? Yeah, Lady Jane. Arryn like, had to take them in and stuff. So Reina has. She knew about this. So she's been trying to get this dragon because everybody wants her own dragon until they get one man. So she goes looking for this dragon and finally finds it. And at the end, the dragon is over cooking some fucking sheep again. Yeah, just like a little dry nothing by the time it's done with it. And she. First of all, her thing. Fifth of all, I should say, because it's not the first of all, but she. Her whole job on this show is to look both, like, horrified and scared and nervous and upset all at the same time. So she's always like. And by the time we've waited for two years, I mean, the last scene was her finding the dragon. And then this season we start with her still finding their dragon. This girl is aged 40 years. I was like, this poor thing is a vacation and a facial.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know it's a good thing that her hair is already just like white because like, she. I was like, this is not the same young woman that we met before. Okay. Which makes sense. I mean, I would be haggard too, after spending an entire season roaming around what looks like Scotland looking for a giant dragon. So she finally finds the dragon, Sheep Stealer. Which I'm sure, by the way, I'm sure this dragon really appreciates that name. He's like, why can't I be called something cool? Like, like there's like Vegar, there's Vormax, Vermax, Carmax, Carfax. Like, can I be called something better than Sheep Stealer?

[Ronnie Caram]

I know, it's the most obvious name. I would be offended too if someone was just like, hey, Eminem Eater. Like, excuse me.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, can I.

[Ronnie Caram]

Can you give me some better? Like, what the hell?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Sheep Terrorizer. But like, like, literally every other dragon has such a scary, strange, medieval sounding name. And it's like, I'm a sheep stealer. Watch out. I'm a threat because I steal a very docile animal that's easily stealable. Watch out, everyone.

[Ronnie Caram]

Sheep Stealer. So she comes up to Sheep Stealer and it ended with them. Last season ended with them kind of facing off. But this season, the dragon's just eating and she kind of sneaks up on the dragon and then just gets on him. Can I get on you? It's like, sure. Well, what do you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Where are we going? Just not the dentist. Anywhere but the orthodontist.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. Sheep stealer apparently was people curious because I think a sheep steer would have like, like sheep steer knew that Raina was getting on board. It wasn't like sheep was like, oh, whatever. I think sheep was like, I'll give this a try. But you know, sheep seller is kind of annoying. I'm not going to lie. Like, sheep seller is like, we'll get into it burning the wrong things, flying all crazy when you got this sweet lady on board. Like, just like, can you just try to like rein it in a little bit? I mean her name is literally Raina. So like Raina it in.

[Ronnie Caram]

Listen, it's. These people are just like, I want to. She, you know, I want a dragon. And so everybody's getting a dragon. The last season, the last season ended with just everybody getting dragons. You know, they're like, I found a dragon. I'm a, I'm a bastard who deserves a dragon. They're like, okay, we burned 12 other

[Ben Mandelker]

bastards but you, you, Hugh and Ulf

[Ronnie Caram]

and the other dude, the. I forget his name right now. But the other sailors, son, they all, they all get their dragon. You guys have to, yeah, you have to teach these people what? And you have to teach the dragons. The dragon doesn't know what to do and she starts speaking Valerian to the dragon. Well, congratulations on your tutoring. But the dragon doesn't know this. Who taught the dragons?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, like you don't give your kid, you don't give your 16 year old kid a Lambo when they turn 16. Okay. They're just gonna crash it. There needs to be some sort of like Honda Civic of dragons that they start with. I know you like, once you get your, your dragon, you're bound for life. But I think the dragons should have a little bit more self respect to say, you know what, you look like a great kid, but I'm gonna let you get some reps on a, on a, on a JV dragon and then you can work your way up to me because I feel like the fact that the dragon's like, sure, like you're totally unqualified to ride me, but I guess you'll just ride me. That actually speaks a lot to the dragon's self esteem. Like the dragon has to really center themselves a little bit more and raise their standards of who's gonna ride them because this is just, it's just a, it's a mismatch.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, you know, maybe it could be good. They Just have to. They have to train. I mean, you can't just, like, get in your car and be like, oh, wow, I'm. Let's drive into a battle and kill it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know.

[Ronnie Caram]

Like a battle. Yeah, but, you know, It's. Hindsight is 20 20, am I right?

[Ben Mandelker]

You know what they say. Dragons are like boats. Their best days are the days you get them and the days you sell them.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, it's like I told my dad when I crashed my first car. Sorry. So then we go to. So she's flying this dragon all over the place and screaming her head off, as we all would.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, do you have apple carplay? I want to listen to my music.

[Ronnie Caram]

I know. It's like us telling younger people, like, we used to not even have Apple maps or Google Maps. Like, we used to have to use a Thomas guide where we would have to pull out a map from the ground. It would be as thick as an encyclopedia, and hold it open to find out where we're going. She didn't even have that. How does she know where she's going?

[Ben Mandelker]

She just has, like, a Discman and then, like, one of those, like, tape cassette adapters, and she's just trying to, like, plug it into its scales. Like, is there somewhere I can insert this? I. I got the new Sarah McLachlan CD.

[Ronnie Caram]

Is there still cigarette lighters that we can plug things into in the car? Also, by the way, also Reina and the cassettes. Also, Raina is the worst babysitter I've ever seen. Listen, you were supposed to bring some dragon eggs and some children, okay? That's all you had to do. And she skipped out on babysitting the children. She was like, bye, I'm gonna go find a dragon. Excuse me. Those little blonde children wandering around. Everybody wants to kill those children. What do you do?

[Ben Mandelker]

Especially lady Jane. She's unhinged. Well, Serena finally goes up, and then she. She goes off, and then she's screaming, well, what did you think was gonna happen? You just got onto a wild dragon. And she's like. I kind of feel like you either get on and you and you and you hold your composure, or you don't get on the first place. But don'. Start screaming like crazy. Make the dragon upset.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So then we go to Aond, who's a real rascal, this guy. So we used to call him Laura Dern. We used to say Aond was playing by.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think we can make.

[Ronnie Caram]

And it's the first thing when I saw him. He's a really good actor. God, this guy's evil as hell. So he pulls Orwell, who's like the nurse guy, out of his bed and takes him to the council room and throws him down. And he's like, near I can make it clean. He's like, what I do?

[Ben Mandelker]

What the fuck?

[Ronnie Caram]

You gonna. At least tell me what I did first? And he's like, where is my brother? Because at the end of last season, Larys got Aegon the hell out of there. He's like, they're gonna kill you, stupid. Let's go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So he's like, where is he? He's like, who? Like my brother, you idiot. Who else do I care about?

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like, Tom Hanks.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tom. Thanks. We're supposed to have lunch later. I made a reservation at the Grail on the alley. So I was like, well, he's in his quarters. He's like, well, you're a traitor to the crown. I sentence you to die. And then all of a sudden, he's about to, like, chop his head off. But then Sir Jasper comes in. And Jasper's like, my prince. It appears Lord Laris has fled the keep as well. And so now you know, Lord's like, well, this is awkward.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And.

[Ronnie Caram]

Or it's like, I mean, thank God I didn't do anything to help the king. The last person I helped escape this place was your mother. Sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whoops. Yeah, sorry. Sorry I'm not up on my TMZ subscription to know where Tom Hanks is at every good moment.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial. Then we go to Larys and Aegon in a carriage, fleeing the city. Aegon, I have to say, has healed up pretty well. He looks great. I mean, for really. For being burned by a dragon and having, you know, half of his face burned off. He's really healing up quite well, I'm telling you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, but he's. He's in need. And so he's like, I need milk of the puppy, which I forgot about. Milk of the poppy. That always makes me laugh. What a silly name for a drug. And so, Larry, you know, it's not

[Ronnie Caram]

like the poppy seed milk.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like people shoot up heroin, I'm assuming. Yeah, but it's just sort of a funny. Milk of the puppy.

[Ronnie Caram]

Milk of the puppy, where you've been getting your Arnica. Because you're healing up really, really well.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Laris, by the way, speaking of healing up really well, I feel like Laris looks better. I feel like the actor, like, I don't know what happened if. Did he feel out or. Or he. He looks younger. But I'm like, Laris got. Got like a little bit of a glow up in a way I can't put my finger on. I'm like, I love Lara. Shouldn't be looking good.

[Ronnie Caram]

Laris definitely had a glow up. I don't know what it is either. I mean, he's dressed the same, he's got the same hair. He's still acting the same, but there is something subtly different. I don't know, but he was definitely finer today.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, what it was, it's almost like, you know, most actors are like, very attractive, and then when they do these roles as being creepy, they're made to look like creepy. And I wonder if he was like, all right, so I, I put in my two years of looking creepy, but I'm actually a very attractive actor. And I graduated top of my class at the English School of English Acting. So is it okay if we start making me look better now?

[Ronnie Caram]

The Royal Academy of Acting of English. I've. I've done it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Her Majesty's Acting Royals Academy of Acting. Her ladies, sir. Hrh.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, my thought was definitely. Does he have a dimple in his chin now? Like, what. What happened to Laris? And how can I. Because it is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it is a glow up.

[Ronnie Caram]

He was hot. So, yeah, Egon's like, give me some drugs. And he's like, oh, I. I'm afraid of my hasty flight. I neglected to bring any because he loves seeing a bitch in pain, Larry.

[Ben Mandelker]

He does.

[Ronnie Caram]

Like, I got a club foot and I like everybody else to be miserable at all times.

[Ben Mandelker]

Also, it's really dangerous to. To do interstate travel with milk of the Poppy in your. In your luggage. Like, because if you get. It's really. Each. Each region of Westeros has different laws. And, you know, it's like, technically, it's like, yes, it's legal locally, but not nationally. So it's a whole issue. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

And he's like, please give me some drugs. He's like, oh, just chill, okay? Listen, we're escaping. Things are gonna get better. Go back to bed. And he's like, I'm the king of nothing. With a raven for a throne. With raven shit for a throne and a cripple for a protector. I'm pathetic. Well, you don't need to.

[Ben Mandelker]

What else is new?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, you don't need to come at Laris. Jeez, gotta call about it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, oh, sorry for saving your life and getting handsomer While I did it. Sorry. So all of a sudden, they have to stop the carriage because there's, like, some soldiers there, and they're like, hello.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, it's like border patrol, basically. I know anybody who's ever driven around with weed in their car knows this experience. To El Paso. Oh, here we go. There's that dog circling your car. They're looking under your car, like, I did not hide the weed under the car, okay? It's in my pocket.

[Ben Mandelker]

Solaris is like, I'm a simple man of service from the Citadel. And we are taking these ravens to White Harbor. They're like, oh, your skin regimen. Can you tell me about it? You look quite good for someone who's traveling so far.

[Ronnie Caram]

Wait a minute. You look like you've had a glow up. And you look like you've had a glow down.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you go to the gym a lot?

[Ronnie Caram]

Do you use red light? Yes or no?

[Ben Mandelker]

You're in the Queen's lands. Emphasis on Queen girl. Hey. But anyway, in order to pass, you have to first denounce that usurper, bend the knee and swear fealty to her grace, the one true queen. Ray Ray. And so Lars like, okay, whatever. And so he gets on his knee. But then, of course, Aegon's like. And they're like, what. What's happening over here? What's going on with this one over here?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, and they're like, you better kneel. And he's like, you the queen. So they. You know, they punch him in the stomach to make him go down. Dude, aren't you burnt enough? You're burnt and broken. Just. Just kneel, bro.

[Ben Mandelker]

Be better at, like, being undercover, okay?

[Ronnie Caram]

Terrible. And also, his hair is kind of sticking out. Like, his blonde hair. Like, a hoodie does not cover anything. It's like in this week's McBee dynasty when Galena, the crazy Russian lady, goes to knock cameras off of buildings, and she just wears a hoodie and then stares straight into the camera. What do you think the hoodie is gonna do? Okay, your hair is still hanging out of there. We see your whole face.

[Ben Mandelker]

He sort of looks like Galena meets Emily from Survivor, you know?

[Ronnie Caram]

Which one's Emma? Oh, my God. Emily from Survivor.

[Ben Mandelker]

Really think about it. And he. I would love it if. I would love it if his character was more like Emily from Survivor.

[Ronnie Caram]

I gotta tell you something. Got a secret.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Larys is like, okay, well, the gig is up. Thanks a lot, King. So he's like, oh, well, it's a very lucky day for you, my Lord, the reason this man won't swear fealty to Rhaenyra is because he is Aegon Targaryen. And you're being told this by a very surprisingly handsome man.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's a king, you fucks. And he's like, wait a minute. Why wouldn't you tell us you're king? What is going on here? And Aegon's like, uh. And Larys is like, yes, he was. He was burnt by Dragonfyre and by Rhaenys Targaryen and her dragon at the Battle of Brooksrest. And I am in spaces loyal counselor and lord of hair and all.

[Ben Mandelker]

So wait a second. Wait. Wait a second. But he's the one who's like, Emily. Oh, but Rhaenys has been off in the. In what looks like Scotland looking for a dragon. No, that's Rayna. Oh, but Serenis. Yes, well, that's our queen. No, that's Rainier. Up here's Rennie's again. She's the one who was always sucking on a. Sucking candy till she died. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[Ronnie Caram]

Andy Rooney. Ain't that the one that passed away after giving us all so much information on 60 Minutes? It's not. It's not even similar.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they. So, so Laris is like, by the way, check this out. Got the crown. And of course, these guys who probably have never even seen the crown and have never. I mean, it could have been a dupe. Who knows? But they. They're like, this is enough for us. Like, wait a second. And so the cap's like, oh, pretty hair. Take the heads. We'll make a rich balance for the Queen. And Solaris is like, well, forgive me, my lord, but you would lose your own less attractive head for such a misstep. This is the Challenger himself. And you can name your price for delving him and his most trusted confidant to the Queen as living hostages.

[Ronnie Caram]

Take it from a newly hot person, you'll get more for him.

[Ben Mandelker]

You don't understand what it's like. Ugly for so long, and you can become hot. Think of what that money could do for you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And so they're like, okay, we'll just kill everybody else with them then. So then they kill the poor extras. I mean, Jesus, people can never know. Can never catch a break. So now they're gonna take Aegon to Dusk and Dale and hire a ship to Dragonstone. So then we go to our beloved Ray Ray.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And Ray Ray has just met with Alicent because Alicent, like, had made her way to Dragonstone to be like, yeah, things are going to shit.

[Ronnie Caram]

Kill my kids. Kill my kids. Okay? I do not even care. I'll give you my children. Just let me go on a vacation. Celebrity is so hard. I'm so sick of being known. Let me go on a break. Just give me somewhere with half affordable fish tacos. Okay. In a beach. I'm totally fine. Kill my children. They suck. Did a terrible job.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And so Jace is like. So now Ray Ray is like, well, I have to believe that Alison's author was genuine and Jace's author, I mean, offer. And Jace is like. Because Jace is so annoying and he's been annoying all this time. He's like, it's a ruse, Mummy cloaked in a style friendship. He's like, no, the. The risk she took in coming here is beyond question. She flew Spirit Airlines in its final days. A middle seat. Do you know what she sacrificed to get here?

[Ronnie Caram]

She basically flew on a stool to get here. Surely she's not lying. And he's like, no, it's a trap, dumbass. She's trying to lure you and Daemon into Vhagar's jaws. And she's like, no, no. Vhagar and Aemond are gone. They've flown to Harrenhal and done a very, very long storyline that's bored the audience in tears. Aegon is bedridden and I could take Aegon and the throne in a single stroke. Surely he's not semi hot again yet. Surely he's not.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jace is like, no, you cannot trust him, Mother. And so then the Council walks in and Ray Ray is like, no. Alicent came and came to Dragonstone under a banner of peace. She also brought a half eaten croissant from the airport Starbucks. I appreciated the gesture. Wish she hadn't dug in. She said she was starving. She got nothing on the flight. Anyway, neither here nor there. The Greens know already that their defeat is written. Aemond flies on Vhagar to join Cole in the Riverlands. And with him gone, Alicent will open the gates of the Red Keep and surrender Aegon to me. And I will take the head and the throne. Of course. It's all very simple because we're in the first episode of a season, so what could possibly go wrong?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, man, she really wants to believe out. I mean, Allison was telling the truth, you know, Allison doesn't know. Everybody else was up. Allison's like, just kill him. Take them literally. Terrible. Okay, nobody gets this until like I get the lady who drove into the ditch with her with her kids, like I get it. Just.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, yeah, like, you try going

[Ronnie Caram]

through a mall with these kids for two days and tell me you don't want to murder them, too.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay?

[Ronnie Caram]

They're terrible. Seriously, get a menu to color and shut him up or kill him. Like, I literally don't care. So they're like, well, what are her. You know, the staff or whatever. It's like, what are her terms, though? Like, she just came in here, she snuck away and still had perfect hair, by the way, and then just like, no. No dirty clothes or anything, and just offered you everything. I mean, what does she want? She's like, well, she just wants, you know, her Helena and Jaeha spread. You know, so what? Whatever. She doesn't want her glamour bloodshed.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Mazaria is like, that is a low price. Are you sure she can be trusted? And so Rainier is like, get word to Lord Corliss in the gullet. I require ships to deliver fighting men enough to secure the sitting. So she basically want. The sea snake is doing sea snake things, and she wants some of the sea snakes ships to help with this, you know, surprise attack on King's Landing.

[Ronnie Caram]

And she needs Damon back. So get him back here. I'll write him. I will write him immediately. Something that always really gets me when I watch this show is I'm like, it's so. It's, like, so hard without phones because I know just, like, all this shit's already happening, and she doesn't even know. And she's like, well, write a letter. You know, you're just so behind. And then Allison can't just call her and be like, oh, sorry, plans have changed. Okay? Plans.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Changed. We have to do things a little differently now. You know, things like even a telegram, like, there's nothing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, like, if she had, like, threads, she could be like, oh, wait, the king's missing. Okay, so we won't do this. But now she's gonna find out the long way. It's amazing how we got.

[Ronnie Caram]

Imagine if Rainier has Facebook. She'd be like, don't even ask.

[Ben Mandelker]

Rainier would be like. She'd be like, can you believe these are the bombshells they sent home?

[Ronnie Caram]

Check. Oh, my God. Don't even ask about the day I've had.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just fake posting. Yeah. Vegar posting.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then. So then Allison, she is back at King's Landing. Took her forever to get to. To Dragonstone, but now she just waltzes right back into King's Landing, and she's like, I need to speak to the king. So she walks the council. But then she's like. They take her to the throne room, and she's like, what? And Aond is sitting there. Laura Dern, that is. And she's like, laura, what are you. Why are you here? And he's like, aegon has abdicated the throne, Mother. She's like, abdicated? What do you mean? He's like. What do you think it means, abdicated? It's in the definition. It's gone. He fled.

[Ronnie Caram]

Left with that newly hot toad, Larys. And she's like, oh, wait, but he was in bed. How the hell is he?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, that's not cool. So I have to make out with him when he's ugly. And then he leaves and now he gets hot. That's just not cool.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So is Aegon giving him feet to jerk off to because. Hi. You got prime. You got a prime toe right here. The. Where is he gonna go? And he's like, he's most stupid than he is craven. She's like, oh, my God. We gotta send a search party. Oh, my God. Find him. Find him immediately. I suddenly want to be around my son. Get him back.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he's like, by the way, where were you, Mother? You've not been seen in the keeping days. Well, long pause. I was in Kingswood, Aemond. It's a new casino. It's a Native American reservation in the east of Westeros, and they've got great slots. I saw Winona Judd. It's a great performance. Why do you care? I have found myself of little use of here late. And what of Harrenhal? You and Vhagar were meant to fly to meet Ser Criston and challenge Daemon together in a very boring part of our country. Why didn't you go there?

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, well, Aegon has left me no choice but to remain here and defend the city. I will be here to defend King's Landing, which, by the way, I've enjoyed starving. I've enjoyed watching starve. And he's basically like, nope, things have changed, okay? We've got war about to happen, all right? And the triarchy fleet is going to ambush a blockade for the Force. Thrice the sea snake strength.

[Ben Mandelker]

I swear to God, the triarchy truck, it drives me nuts. I can't deal with the triarchy season. Remember, season one was all about the triarchy. There's a triarchy blockade. Watch out for the triarchy. And then they. Then there was like, that strange leader of the triarchy. And then finally killed that guy. But. Oh, the crab. He was like, what? They call him like, the crab crab.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, the crab guy. You know what? They even cut him out mostly of all of the recaps of the show. Like, most of the recaps are like, okay. And then they killed the crap guy because it was.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is he supposed to be like the grandfather or like, some sort of, like, paternal figure to Loja? Because they do sort of look alike, and there's sort of like a vibe there. And I think she was trying to avenge his death in this episode.

[Ronnie Caram]

To who?

[Ben Mandelker]

No, Loha. The. She's the. The triarchy baddie.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, God, that lady. That lady is like a. She's like an actor from the Saturday afternoon. Xena, the Warrior Princess, or Hercules, one of those where she's like, I will. She's a lot. I thought she was better this season. Like, they. Tone. I don't know. I don't. I wouldn't say tone her down. I don't know. I don't know why I was even wondering so much about her, but I was like, what. What's the difference between her last season and this season? She was more palatable, I think, this time. But I liked her boat. What was her. They're like, get on the. We've got to get her ship. The. The ship. Or whatever.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whatever it was called. Ship. It was called something like that.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's so funny.

[Ben Mandelker]

We'll get to it.

[Ronnie Caram]

So now we go to Corliss and his crew on the sea. Snake sailing through the sea. And then we go to Damon, and he's fighting his battle in the Riverlands. Just a lot of fighting in this

[Ben Mandelker]

one, which is just like having a casual battle. Just like, you know, just. It's sort of like wrapping it up. We're at the sort of the end of it, and.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, but he, like. He's gonna clean every last table off perfectly. He's gonna get every crumb off the table. He's, like, pushing people down, stabbing them, and then taking his knife back out and then stabbing them in the face, too. It's like they can't even. He's like, you will not even look cute when you're dead. I'm gonna make you so ugly when you're dead. Congrats.

[Ben Mandelker]

At what point do you just, like, step out of the way and let the dragon just incinerate everyone else? Who's left? I mean, like, you're sort of, like, wasting your. Your effort at this point. But then. So it's killing people and then he Talk. He goes up to Lord Oscar Tully. And so Lord Tully is like, the Lannister host has scattered, my prince. The vanguard has smashed, and the rear guard broken and fled. And Damon's like, could you just speak to me in proper English? What? Everyone ran away? Yes. They're gone. They. Everyone ran away. Thank you.

[Ronnie Caram]

And what about the gorgeous Lord Lannister? And Tully's like, he ran. He ran when the calvary broke rank. Okay. Our scouts believe that he might be regrouping near the gods.

[Ben Mandelker]

The gods?

[Ronnie Caram]

Every time they say the gods, I'm like, oh, this is where Helena said, the daemon's gonna die. I can't wait to see it bring on the God's Eye. So Damon's like, okay, well, let's keep fighting them, you know? Don't let any of those get away. All right, guys, well, we're gonna dig some graves for all these dead people. He's like, just have the dragon kill him.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, that is not how we do it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Rivermen must be returned to the mud. We're very respectful. After we all. I like how everyone has so much respect after they're just, like, wanton, murdering each other. All we've seen on the show is murder. And then they're like, I know. Please.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know the River Man Tully. House Tully. That was Red Wedding House, right? Or was that. What's his face. The House Tully. I always got.

[Ronnie Caram]

Don't start asking me History.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, totally. They were the ones that. The two, like. The two, like the twins or something like that. And there was like, that. That's the. You know, that was the House. The guy who set up the whole Red Wedding. It was House Tully. The House Tully is just a pain. And so now, of course. Of course, it's Lord Tully being like. Wait a second.

[Ronnie Caram]

No.

[Ben Mandelker]

Rather than, like, us going home and getting good night's sleep, we have to return all the Rivermen to the mud. Great.

[Ronnie Caram]

Wasn't Red Wedding the phrase Walter Frey. Remember that old gross guy? And then Arya goes and kills him. Like, that's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, Tully was the guy who went to. Who went to become, like, an academic at the end, right?

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, gosh.

[Ben Mandelker]

See, this is the part we warned everyone.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. Don't ask me questions. Okay, so, Lord, where are we? So they're gonna just. They have to now. They have to take some time out to bury these people.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, I'm sorry. The guy that. One of the Tullys was killed in the Red Wedding. That's why I got it confused. You're right. Frey was the Were those people Waldo Frey? Yes. Sorry, everyone.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then the army, the old bastard army shows up, which I like the guys from the wall in the beginning of the season where he's like, I've got the old people. I can send you the old people. He's like, damn it. I don't want a bunch of old men. And they're like, we're here. We got the head of this Lannister, and they throw the head of the Lannister twin down.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And I just want to do an update. Tully. Tully is the family that Cat. Cat was from. From Game of Thrones. I kind of completely wrong. That was the family. That was her brother. Well, you know, you all know.

[Ronnie Caram]

Everyone knows how many people just beat the. Out of their steering wheel.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, that's why I had to correct it. I had to. I will always correct it. When I. When I feel myself just going astray, I'm gonna correct. Just that way no one loses their mind. But, like, we figured out the telly thing. I mix it up with the phrase, and I also mix it up with what's his. The guy from the wall who became an academic.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So my brain. So then we go to Kristen Cole, who is so funny right now. I love watching Kristen Cole feel things. He's like, something like an existential crisis. I don't know why it makes me laugh, but he's just like, I'm depressed. I've realized that it's all death. And now I'm painting swords. You've got to have a hobby. Leave me alone.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, so swords.

[Ronnie Caram]

Shields. She's, like, sitting there painting dots on shields.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, this is a. This is a sword, right? It's a shield. God damn it. It's more confusing than trying to remember who the Tullies are. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Shields now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Gwain goes in, and Gwain has just seen a lady basically get well. The assumption is that she basically just got sexually assaulted in a tent. And so he's really upset about that. And so Gwain's like, so, by the way, have there's. Has there been any word from Damon or anything? He's like, no, because, you know, he and Veigar were supposed to have joined us, remember, at the Antlers? Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Person's like, whatever, I'm making a ladybug shield, so can I have some time? And he's like, well, there's another matter. One of our men ravaged a village girl, and I will not have it. Something must be done. He's like, oh, God, Hang him. What do I care? God, does this look like a ladybug or a dot?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I am not his Lord Commander. Punishment is due, yes, but also a statement to the men that we are not beasts, but knights and soldiers of honor. And Kristen's like, have you seen my resume?

[Ronnie Caram]

No kidding.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's just focus on the arts and crafts for tonight.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And he's like, have you looked around you? There's dragons. We're all dead. I do not give a. Have you ever heard of something called needle point?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's kind of like embroidery, but a little bit different. But we. We can't abandon our principles. He's like, needle point. Needle point.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now we go to the Isle of Faces on the God's Eye Lake, near Heron Hall. Beautiful at this time of year. And by the way, Ronnie, as I set up the scene, you have a little crackle on your microphone from your phantom power. Oh, thank you. Yeah, no problem. So now it's gone. So, yeah, look at that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Not that I'm old school.

[Ben Mandelker]

Did you. Did you use a spell? So now we have Ulf, Hugh Glass, which, by the way, doesn't sound like a real name. Hugh Glass sounds like something that Bart Simpson would call Moe's. Be like, I'm looking for Hugh Huge Glass. Somebody can name Hugh Jazz Huge Glass and Adidam of Hull. They're sitting around a fire waiting for Damon. One of them is evening.

[Ronnie Caram]

Thank you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So, yeah, Ulf is telling them that he never knew his mother and he was looked at like a mongrel dog, and he used to wish for death, and he was molested by a priest. And because he had blonde hair, the priest would tell him, oh, you have king's blood, so you're born for a purpose. And he's like, I mean, I took that story and I owned it off the Dragon Seed. And the Red Cut Fitness was right. Okay, you guys, where'd you get your dragon's blood? It's like, geez, isn't it sad enough we're sitting on the fucking Isle of Faces? Jeez. At least Kristen Cole's doing crafts. Can we do anything else?

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you have the trauma dump? Literally, after you take a dump as we try to bond right now?

[Ronnie Caram]

Gosh, the show's obsessed with watching people poop. Because the other Game of Thrones show that they had this year was the Night of the Seven Kingdoms. And the very first episode, you get to watch the guy pooping by a tree. Except that one. You saw the poop splurting out of his Butt like, like bent over and you just watched a poop coming out. I don't know. You know, I don't. There's. I don't need that. I don't need.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, these shows are just famous for how charming and cozy they are. I. I actually like the detail of it because it's. You know, whenever I'd watch 24, I'd be like, when does Jack Bauer go to the bathroom? And like, sometimes it's good to sort of insert these kind of like, this is how they spend the times of their. This is how they do the things in this universe. So I think it's oddly world building, even if it is not like involving sound effects that may not.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, I don't like it. And I think that's a difference between us in general because you will talk about poop. I'm just not like a big poop discusser, you know, I don't care. Like, I know that everybody poops, but I. I don't know. We should be shameful of it and keep it to ourselves.

[Ben Mandelker]

You should be ashamed. Yeah, we should be ashamed of it. So they're waiting around because they're waiting around for the queen or something. They're waiting for date. Well, who are they? What are they doing?

[Ronnie Caram]

They're supposed to be there to. They're supposed to be there to. They're supposed to be there to meet Veigar, you know? But wait, is it Vegar?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Stop asking me questions.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I don't.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes. They were supposed. They're supposed to kick Vegas. They're supposed to kick Vegar's ass. That's why there's three of them there. But Veigar's not coming because they changed the plans, remember? Because he's still at the castle. Left with Amand. Because now they have to like, watch King's Landing. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Again, some text messages would really solve this for them, not for me. So they're like all excited. They're waiting.

[Ronnie Caram]

And also, Steve Jobs in hall has not come onto the scene yet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Office like, well, it. The fight will be worth it for the castle. And Adidam is like, what castle? It's like. But the queen promises to make us not. So we get a castle. Rot. Like, no, you have to be named a lord to get a castle. It's like, well, what not get. Then like a horse. It's like, what? What? Oh, I need a horse without got a dragon. It's like, that's. That's why we're laughing at you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. They're like, well, Maybe you'll get laid. Like, you'll get laid more. He was like, you'll get. You'll get more. But he's like, oh, God, great. He's like, I'd get more ass with a castle. Thank you. So then we are back to Reyna being thrown off this, you know, wild sheep dragon. Sheep stealer being thrown off. So he takes her to the very top of the mountain, throws her off. And she's like, jesus. And so she tries to sing to him. She's like, I'm gonna calm him down by singing.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, hello, my honey hello, my

[Ronnie Caram]

baby hello, my right time. He's like, shut up. You suck. Harry Styles or death karaoke is this.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, by the way, this has been fun, but I. I actually am technically babysitting, so could you take me back to Lady Jane? Thanks. So now Allison is doing her favorite thing, which is writing a letter quietly and mournfully. And Helena comes up, and Allison is like, did you know that Aegon had fled? He was meant to be here. It's a who should have flown. And Helena's like, you're frightened? It's like, yeah, well, no, your mom is, like, pale, and she's shaking. Sounds like. Well, Sir Kristen and Sir Gwain are in great peril, and I fear only for our knights. Aon should be with them.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, she. Okay. I just made a plan with Ray Ray. Everything is. And she's trying not to let it show too much to Helena because Helena. Psychic. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's not. She's gonna see through this. And Allison's, like, shakily, like, doing the wax on the letter thing, and she calls somebody in to take the letter, and she's like, it's from the king. Take it. Take it immediately. Dispatch one of your fastest riders and deliver this quickly. And Helena's like, the king's orders. What the are you talking about? With haste. Don't listen to. Don't listen to the psychic crazy one, okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's good for Cocoa Puffs. Don't worry about what she has to say. So now Corliss and. And Alan, his son Alan, they're on the sea snake. And Coral is like, alan, sit. Now, here's a bottle of booze. I saved it. It's from. It's from I.B. and I was like, oh, I don't really drink, so. It's too late. I already opened it up. You're off the wagon. All right, well, I'm not gonna drink alone. And, you know, so have some of this Enjoy it. Get wasted. Let's have a great time tonight. What could possibly go wrong? We're about to have an absolutely super fun afternoon.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, as your father, I know I haven't been there for you a lot, but as your father, I want to teach you the best time to drink is when you're driving.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's get shit faced, right?

[Ronnie Caram]

Let's get shit faced. At first I was like, oh, God, I don't want another, like, daddy sun scene. I can't with the sun being like, you were never there for me because I just had watched the last season. So I was like, oh, God, please don't be another long scene. God, this episode really gave us so much more. And they added in some more mommy son issues. Super sexy ones, too. So they made up for it. But this drink looks crazy. It's like a purple drink that he was drinking.

[Ben Mandelker]

I would not have ordered it, but Quarles is like, well, good news. Rhaenyra's advantage is now absolute. She will surround the city with her dragons and force the surrender of Aegon and Aemond. Everything is just going perfectly, so perfect. We have time to sit back and drink this alcohol. And you have enough time to even fall off the wagon, get back into rehab, and then start going to your group. Your group therapy again. So cheers to that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, it's like, ah, don't worry. Ray Ray's gonna take the city. It's no problem. Let's get shit face. And Alan's like, yeah, I don't think Eamon's the type to just sit around and abandon the throne. This doesn't sound right. Thank you. And Corliss is like, oh, let's have a father son scene. There are rough seas before between us, but I accept that I did wrong. Sorry about it, father.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, I know that we're like a Navy family and all that, but, like, when we're talking about our relationship, you really don't have to compare everything to seafaring. It's like, I get it with Navy people, but can we just, like, focus on us? You have to, like, really go out of your way to make everything about rough seas and waves of emotion and things like that. Like, I really do get it, son.

[Ronnie Caram]

Ever since you blew me off, I. I've been like a. A rope that's docking a boat. I've been in knots. All right. God damn it.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're really taking the wind out of my sails. Damn it, Now I'm doing it.

[Ronnie Caram]

I get that drinking doesn't really float Your boat. But I wanted to have a discussion. Dad, you're not even trying now, for Christ's sake.

[Ben Mandelker]

Or am I spelled O, A, R, dad now? You don't have to spell it out. I understood the time you were making.

[Ronnie Caram]

So he's like, sorry for being a bad dad. Whatever. I'm here now, okay? And so then everyone's screaming outside. He's, like, pouring himself another drink. He's like, people are screaming. I think something's going on outside. Dad is like, yeah, yeah, guess what's going on inside. Dad's getting a break.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right.

[Ronnie Caram]

Let's go have a drink.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, guess what? Enemy ships are sighted. 350 and counting. So far. They already outnumber us. So Corliss is like, all right, put the oars out again. Ohar. You see? Yes, Dad, I know what an awe is. Send ravens to Dragonstone. Take us to the head of the blockade and signal the fleet form battle lines. Is it the Lannisters or the Greyjoys? It's the Triarchy.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, those are triarchy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

So now we go to the giant fleet of ships of the Triachy and Thailand. Lannister is on board. Just saw his head.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was his brother.

[Ronnie Caram]

And he's freaking out because, you know, he's made. He's made a partnership with this Lohan chick and she's terrifying. And so he's like, okay, the Galette has three inlets to the Blackwater, all right? So the. The largest opens to the south at drift marks. So we need to press towards the southern inland. All right? Because if we engage with the Valyrian fleet at close combat, it will blunt the threat of Rhaenyra's dragons. Do you understand? They will not burn their own ships. She's like, ah, fuck it. I'm here to get Sea Snake. Point me to Sea Snake. I don't give where he is. I can take him.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Talon's like, well, yes, my strategy is expressly not to end up in the drink. So we will face death on this deck before we face it in the sea. And you will be glad of our armor when the fighting starts. She goes, I know I will. Because she, like, does not want the armor. And then they're like, oh, no. Sea Snake has raised the alarm. So Lohar has this. This idea. She's like, if only to see his face. Signal Half Jaw to take his detachment and penetrate the northern pass. He's like, what? The northern pass? I mean, that's takes us so far out of the way. I mean, you know, there's not going to be a recharge station for miles and miles and miles. I think we should just take the. The highway and just get there as soon as possible. She's like, no, we're gonna go there and hide. We're gonna sack High tide. Because High Tide is a monument to the sea snake himself. And do you think his focus will hold when he sees the. His treasure room aflame?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. He's like, here's the thing we don't want to do. We don't want him to see us and we don't want to go to his neighborhood. And she's like, him. I want him to see my face

[Ben Mandelker]

while I burn his house down. Killed the crap. The crab guy. I'm gonna get back.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then we go to Reyna and the sheep stealer, he's left her on the mountain, flown away. But then he comes back and she's like, oh my God, thank God I've aged another 10 years. And he comes down and just barfs up some sheep.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yep.

[Ronnie Caram]

I didn't know they could do that. They can like put.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's very bird like.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. It's like he brings her some sheep and then cooks them for her. And yeah, bless her heart, she's so hungry. She just goes and rips that thing open and starts just chowing down. So embarrassing. You never know when there's going to be cameras there to catch you.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know she's. She's starving. I mean, like, there's. There's no seasoning. There's nothing. But she just needs it. She just needs that food. So then Lord doesn't even complain that

[Ronnie Caram]

it's overcooked, which we all know it is.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lord Ormond is Hightower and his army are. They're in the reach. And then the Allison's letter comes and you know, it says like, this is from the king. So he's like, eamon says we have to make camp here and wait for the word. He shall join us in three days time. And they're like, but isn't Aegon. So it doesn't mean that, like Aegon's dead. He's like, whatever. One king is as good as another, right? Mayhaps the weather will hold.

[Ronnie Caram]

Ormond. Hottie. Yeah, Hottie McTotty. Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

This guy from last season. I forget.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, I don't think so. I think he's new, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

I think he is new.

[Ronnie Caram]

And I think he's like raising Allison's other son that we haven't seen. Yet, either. Well, we haven't seen adults, but this guy is so hot. And he's always got coke. Like, he's got this little thing, and he's, like. He's, like, sniffing it. It's like, this guy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God.

[Ronnie Caram]

Just what I wouldn't have given for this guy in my.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's gonna be a problem.

[Ronnie Caram]

Even two years ago. Rawr.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's gonna be a problem, though. I mean, I think. Or I should say his drug addiction will be a problem. It's gonna put him in a compromising position. And, like, at a time that's like the worst of all, like, at a time when they need most, he's going to be, like, either seeking out that high and he's going to get captured, or he's going to be overdosed, or something's going to happen. And that. That little detail is going to be his undoing.

[Ronnie Caram]

But it's this show, so he's going to be like, I learned it from watching you, dad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So, meanwhile, back over at King's Landing, Allison to Damon are talking, and Allison is like. Like, oh, it's my fault we're in this position. I strove tirelessly to put Aegon in the throne, but I failed to prepare him to rule. Oh, but that's just a mother's plight. It's all my fault. And Aimond is like, oh, yeah, she's

[Ronnie Caram]

trying to manipulate his ass, you know, because he's so old and evil. And she's like, you should have been

[Ben Mandelker]

trying to get him out of there.

[Ronnie Caram]

Unfortunately, you weren't born first, but maybe you should have been king. That would have been great. Okay, that's. Go to Heron Hall. Go to Heron Hall. Do that. Okay? I've set you up, so I need you to follow through with this. And he's like, why? She's like, because it's a stronghold. We're all fighting over here. And hall, remember? That was, like, kind of the whole thing, so. Aaron, hall is super important. We've said it a million times, okay? And you're not safe here. It's. You know, they're coming. Ray Ray's coming for you. He's like, I'm not afraid of Ray Ray.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, well, you. You should be afraid, maybe. But you're like. You're like, she's gonna kill you. Like, do this. Look, look here. Okay? Fly to the Riverlands. Pull out Damon. I've got some tickets to Hamilton. It's playing regionally over there. I think you'll love it. And they're really good seats. So go there and you can just, like, go. I also got you an after, like a meet and greet afterwards. Just take as much time as you need if you want. There's a really good restaurant. Just go. Get out of here. I'm just saying. Just go. And you have to do it soon because they're not going to hold curtain for you. So please just leave. Just leave. Get out of here. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

And she's like, please, I can't lose you like I did egg on.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Please. And he. You know, he gets really close to her, and she's like, okay. And then he. You know, he has mommy kinks because we saw him with that older hooker that he's, like, obsessed with at the. At the brothel or whatever. But, wow, he's really taking it literally. And chosen for the kiss. Yeah. And she's just. She does not pull away. She just is like, oh, Jesus Christ. This too. Now I have to deal with this, too. Are you kidding me?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, wow, my roster is not great. I had a king whose face fell off. I had this guy Laris, who would jerk off to my foot, and now my son.

[Ronnie Caram]

So my literal.

[Ben Mandelker]

Although she did have Kristen Cole. Kristen Cole was her. Her high point, I guess, in terms of.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, but Kristen Cole was only with her because he wanted to get revenge after getting dumped by Ray Ray. I mean, yeah. Really can't. She really can't win this one. She just seems, like, great acting from her, though. My God.

[Ben Mandelker]

She was like. Because he's kissing her, and she's just, like, looking like, I guess this is what I have to do.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So he's like, okay, I'll. I'll host a feast there in your honor. And Black Heron's hall, whilst my uncle Head looks down from a spike, keeps a boat warm. She's like, oh, Jesus.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now back to Ul. Hugh and Adam. And UL is. Oh, this is where he's going to the bathroom. I'm sorry, everyone. I thought that already happened.

[Ronnie Caram]

I was gonna say. Yeah, the pooping, I think, because I remember something crazy happens while he's pooping. So at least they made it worth it. So he's pooping, and then he hears a noise, and he sees, like, a goat guy, a goat man or something.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, what the is that?

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like Mr. Tumnus in the. For what the is all of this? This is all the forest people or what?

[Ben Mandelker]

No, it's the witch creating images. Because anyway, he's like, what the hell? What the hell? I'm getting out.

[Ronnie Caram]

Making them see things. I thought it was one of those children of the tree people.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it could be, but I just assumed that she's just trying to, like, mess with them. Because that's what she does. Like, that's like her little. Literally, her favorite thing is that she loves that's. She makes people see things. So they're like, we gotta get out of here. This place is wacky. And Olaf is like, what? Who made you the Queen? I don't like it here. I won't gonna leave. And Adam's like, well, why don't you tell that to her Grace? Okay. You think we're gonna leave? We're not gonna do that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, they're all hearing noises. They're like, this place is scary. And then Alice just comes out. She's like, hello. Your friends are. Hi. I'm missing the battery. The Queen needs your Dragonstone. Who the fuck are you? And she's like a witch.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just a standard witch, you know, only about 630 years old. So Ulf is like, all right, bye. He's like, he just gets out of there.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, it's like, that's enough for me. Okay? I just saw a Goatman while I pooped. Listen to her. So now we're back to Baela and. Oh, no, we're to Baela. We haven't been with Baela yet. Sorry. So we're with Baela, and she's running through the halls of Dragonstone screaming out that there's war. She's like, ray, Ray. There's war. There's ships. They're coming from the east. What the hell? And Jace is like, I told you it was a trap, dummy.

[Ben Mandelker]

It wasn't a trap. It was just things got messed up. That's all. And so she's like, okay, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna fix this. And then, of course, Jace is like, mother, stop. You cannot do it. You're just a woman. She's like, there's nothing you could say that I have not heard. But if you die, then she's like. Then she's like, well, then you'll be the. They'll be. You'll be king. So, like, calm down. I'm going to take care of this. So she goes,

[Ronnie Caram]

yeah, yeah. So she slams the door on him, and then he goes to Sir Laurent, and he's like, you better lock this door. The Queen must be confined until she regains her defense, until she regains her senses. And he's like, yeah, that's the Queen. I can't really do that. He's like, you are a knight of the King's God. You swore to protect Her Grace, even from herself. Who has the brain of a woman now, who probably died for this, but

[Ben Mandelker]

it's your life for hers. So who do you follow? An 18 year old man child or a lady and her lady brain? He's like, oh, man child. So he locks the door, this guy.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Bela is following him. And she's like, yeah, you can't do that. That's treason, dumbass. And he's like, I'm joining the fight. And she's like, but you're making war with your mom and the Queen. Hello. And he's like, this is all the work of an ambush, like Rook's Rest. So they're trying to get her and she's falling for it. Which, I mean, listen, to his credit, Ray Ray does seem all over the place at all times. You can't. You're the Queen. You can't just fly right into the battle, but you also can't lock up the Queen. I mean, what are you gonna do? But he gets crazy eyes. He gets the Targaryen crazy Eyes where he's like, oh, I'm gonna do it whether you like it or not. He was like, oh, all right. Guess. I guess it's time for you to die. You got the target, guys. Let's do this.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Ray Ray is like, all right, well, I like this outfit. This looks good. I'm gonna go, by the way, don't wait up for me. I'm just gonna go, like, destroy some boats, then I'll be back. So she goes, but of course, the door is locked. Hold the door. Hold the door indeed.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So now we go to ships burning and war happening and people screaming, and

[Ben Mandelker]

it's like, war, war, war, war.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Corliss is yelling to keep up the chase. And they're. Alan goes, flagships have been sighted, my lord. It's the Bitch Fist. That's what it is.

[Ben Mandelker]

The Fist. I feel like that's not the official name of the boat, but I feel like it's what they call it because Corliss is like, you mean Loha? It's like, yeah, Fist. So then Corliss is like, I want her. She's. He's like, I want her to see me. So that's what happened. There's like lots of fighting. Lots of fighting. And Thailand.

[Ronnie Caram]

It is the official name.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is it the official name? The Fists?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes. Why are you putting it Past Lohar to name her both the Bitch Fists.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lohar is like, here she comes, lads, our jewel in the rough. Signal the fleet. The sea snake belongs to us. An equal share of the plunder. When we take thou shalt. So Thailand is like, yeah, but like, should we like, let's not get like distracted by like this one ship. I think we should probably like focus on all these other ships. Ships. And she's like, oh, whatever. Do you think I sailed across the Narrow Sea to. To win your king's war for him? And he's like, yeah, yeah, basically.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, we're the flagship. We are literally the lead ship. We cannot. We're not supposed to be doing the fighting because we have to survive to lead everybody else. Like, who cares? The sea snakes. The sea snake sucks. Kill him.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Get his ass.

[Ben Mandelker]

So meanwhile, Ray Ray and Missouri are locked in their room. And Missouri is like, he only wishes to protect you. She's like, I've never asked to be protected. I expected from my council those craven men clutch get their doublets. Stupid doublets that are so out of fashion. But my queen's God, my own son. Huh.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then she takes the dress and she just starts stabbing it and ripping it apart. Which hopefully signals her turn to like sue suit pants and stuff, you know, I hope she's like this. This symbolism of me having to wear a dress all the time. And she comes in like some sweet slacks or something.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, this is what Hillary Clinton did. I hear. This is how. This is how she pivoted her fashion choices. So then Rhaenyra is like, I may appear to have the weak and feeble body of a woman, but I possess the heart and spirit of our king. So back at the battle, of course,

[Ronnie Caram]

now how do I get this door unlocked? Like literally, I'm a king. How do I get out of anybody? A king would have a pick. You know what I mean? Or something.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, seriously would really help here again.

[Ronnie Caram]

Or like a ladder. Like a rope ladder or something. I don't know. Always be prepared.

[Ben Mandelker]

So the bitch fist is following Alan and Corlys in the seas. And then Jason Bela arrive on their dragons because, you know, Bella came to help Jace because Jace is being so obnoxious.

[Ronnie Caram]

And they're like, I think she's gonna help him. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they're like burning things up. And you know, everyone is like, everyone's excited because like the dragons will fix everything. They're flying around and Corliss is observing that Lohar is just like the only thing that Lohar wants. Is him. Lohar just wants like. Is like. And he's like, like, this is why I wanted to show myself, because I knew I would draw Lohar and then we'd kill Lohar and then their entire army would just be like, useless without her.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So the dragons come in, they start burning a bunch of. And then Lohar gets the. That spear on a rope thing and. Yeah, you know the dragon killer thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

And she gets it in one shot. I mean, she's.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's pretty good. She's really good. She's an icon. Yeah, Too good.

[Ronnie Caram]

But she gets him. And it's tied to a rope, so it's like dragging the dragon, dragging Vermax back, and it looks like he's dead. And I knew. I figured something like that was gonna happen when I saw the crazy eyes. So I was like, okay, there he goes. But then Bayliss saves him by having the dragon come down and eat the rope. Like bite through the rope and. And make. Help them escape or whatever. How do the dragons know such good commands? Like, they're so good at following command.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're really good. They just have a good instinct. And so. So it looks very scary for Vermax, but then it's like everything's okay. So then they're like going back to being like crazy dragons, burning things up. And then Corlys is like, we're gonna go through Dragonstone Pass because this is like a trick. So this is like below deck here. This is when it's like Captain Sandy's like, okay, we got a really narrow slip to park the boat and we're gonna get in between. Put your fenders out because it's gonna be really narrow. Okay, I need everyone's attention. We're gonna get right through here.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And they're like, we can't do this. And Corliss is like, I can do it. Don't you worry about it. And as soon as we get past this pass, I want you to put out the water twice.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's everybody. Understand? So, coral assistant, did you make a tablescape?

[Ronnie Caram]

He's trying to guide the guy and the guy's kind of freaking out a little. He's really nervous. He's like, you got to get. They're like, the tide is too low. He's like, just go a little inch to this way, inch to that way. Oh, just give me the wheel. I've only had 10 drinks.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know.

[Ronnie Caram]

Let's get out of here, you guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, I thought this was gonna be my big break. My agent said I'd have a really big role on this TV show. Well, drive the boat better. Okay? So they're. They're just driving through it, going through. It's like, scary because there's a lot of, like, rocks underneath the water that they call the teeth that are gonna, like, get a lot of the boats. But, like, Corliss understands the water. The water is in his soul. It's in his veins. And he's pushing through. And after a lot of scary moments, the boat pops out the other other side. He's like, we're clear. And they're like, yay. Everything is fine. Nothing can possibly go wrong from this point forward.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And they're like, let Lohar follow us into the teeth. And she does. She's like, I'm gonna get that. I don't care. I've been following this for years. Probably drunk anyways. Get him. They're like, no. What are you doing? So she does it, and two of her. Two of her boats crash on the rocks and stuff, but she keeps going and she makes it through. I mean, Lohar is. Say what you will about the lady. She's a good aim. She shot a dragon with one shot, and now she steers through this crazy, trepidatious thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

But, well, she. She does have, like. She gets, like, a little bit snagged. And she realizes, you know what? We just have too many guys on this boat. We need to, like, be a little bit lighter. So we'll be. We'll rise up over the teeth. So she promptly pushes Thailand off the boat because he's wearing heavy armor. And that was an issue because he, like. He was like, you should really put on some armor. Just. I'm just saying because, like, we're like, in a battle, and she's like, I don't need armor. So now she's like, here, now. Your armor's gonna be the death of you. So she pushes him off. Little will she realize that she will rue the day she. She. She turned her nose up at that armor.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, so. But also, he was just so yappy.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, shut up. She's like.

[Ronnie Caram]

Throws them over and starts throwing everybody over. So Reyna, meanwhile, is riding sheep Stealer and she wants to go home, but she sees that there's a battle, so she's like, you know what?

[Ben Mandelker]

It.

[Ronnie Caram]

Let's do it. Let's do this. We got this.

[Ben Mandelker]

The problem is that, like, sheep stealer is sheep stealer. Like, there's still some communication issues and sheep Steelers, like, a little goes A little rogue in this battle. And that's a, that's a problem. Not, not, not always the most helpful dragon here.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So meanwhile Lohar, it's like, okay, we got him where we want him. Let's just run into his ass and board a ship. So she just crashes right into his ship, jumps on it to try and get him. Meanwhile, Reina and sheep stealers just start burning ships. And then she's like, well, those aren't even enemy ships. Now you're burning our own people. So she's screaming and freaking out and this thing is like, I don't care. I do not give a. And it's just flying around burning everything and trying to kill the other dragons too. Oh my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. She was like, I must prove to people I do more than steel sheep. I'm a. I'm a real dragon. I'm a. I'm a big boy. And so she's like, okay, stop it. Stop it. That's my sister, by the way. That's my sister. Kind of like your aunt. Stop that. And then meanwhile over in the boat battle, like the. So the, the, like the slip or whatever it's called, crashes the fist. Pitch fists. The pitch slip. The fist crashes into the sea snake's boat. So then now it's like hand to hand combat. And. And then you know, sea snake Corliss gets like hit and it's like, like knocked over. And he's like, oh. And then you know, Allan's like, father.

[Ronnie Caram]

And.

[Ben Mandelker]

But then Allan sees Loar. I was like, I'm gonna binge. I may be a little bit drunk, I may have fallen off the wagon, but I'm going after Loar. I'm gonna settle this.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So he falls into the water. He's like the. The ship starts tilting so corless.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, and notably by the way, and notably as the. Before this, even this collision happened. Like we're like right before it. As they came out of that pass, that's when Corlys gets a glimpse of high tide burning. And he's like, oh my God. And he's sort of like out of it. It's like in that moment where he's distracted is the moment where this like critical like boat crash happens. And he's like, not with his wits. So things are like, you finally pay

[Ronnie Caram]

off your mortgage and they get you every time. So he falls into the water and Alan's like, father. So now he goes after Lohar and they fall into the water to continue their fight. Meanwhile, Jace is chasing after sheep. Stealer and he's like, vermax, kill this dragon rider. But then he sees who it is and he's like, oh no, don't do it. Evade. And dragon scoops under. I mean, see that's. You got to train dragons people. I don't know, I can't say it enough, you know. So then sheep stealer starts chasing after Vermex. Now sheep. She was like, all right, let me add him. Sheep stealer is like the dragon version of Lohar.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, Sheep still, it's just like sheep. It was just too soon for cheap still to go into battle. And so I think the implication here is that if Jace hadn't been distracted trying to like deal with sheep stealers antics, he would have also been a little bit more focused. And he is like looking behind at like, oh my God, that was. That's like Reyna. And then Vermax gets hit by yet another spear and this time we don't even see who shoots it. Like obviously like the dragon's flying so sort of like basically that even some it has to.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, it has to fall. It has to fly really low because it's trying to stay the hell, you know, it's trying to evade this dragon. So it's flying really low. So they get it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It like nameless extra got him this time. Like that's bad when like someone who's like not even a famous person kills the dragon.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh my God. The extras kill it in this ep.

[Ben Mandelker]

Literally.

[Ronnie Caram]

Like they, they do a great job in this episode, but I hated this. I hate watching dragons die. I mean, I know they're like weapons of mass destruction, blah blah, blah. We just saw dragons burn like hundreds of people, but still they're so cute. I hate seeing them.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's. Well, we don't like it because it's like the dragon gets killed because of Jace's stupid ego. And like, honestly there are kids riding these things and like if the Queen were there, she would have had like wisdom and she would have avoided the spears and like all this silliness. But because you have Reyna with her new dragon, she joins and she, she created chaos. You have Jace who shouldn't have been there. It's just like, it's. Yes, appreciate the help, but you guys are in way over your heads. And now look what's happened. There are not a lot of dragons left and you've just killed one.

[Ronnie Caram]

One Chase. You know, I don't blame him too much because he is a dragon. Like his job is literally to go into war with people But Ray. Ray would never send him out because she already lost one son. And so she's like, you can't. You know, so she's overprotective of him. So it's like he is. He is a soldier. That is his job. I think he did a good job for the most part. Until. Stupid sheep stealer everything up. And then he had to fly low and get shot again. And then the dragon gets. It's just so sad, you know? I didn't like it, but I was like, no. So he gets pulled into the water, though. We see the dragon just sinking and bleeding into the water everywhere. So we know it's screwed. So he cuts the rope or he unchains himself or ropes himself or whatever from the dragon from his saddle. And we. We're like, oh, my God. Well, at least Jace made it. But now he's gonna do Dragonless. And that sucks. Ducks. And then he gets speared right in the neck by an extra. And then speared again and then speared again.

[Ben Mandelker]

The arrows, they just take out Chase. Honestly, I was like, good riddance. Wasn't Jace's dad Kristen Cole? Or is it the other guy?

[Ronnie Caram]

No, it's. No, no. Reina. No. Kristen Cole didn't father the children. Reina was having an affair with the strong guy. Strong. Strong.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. That's. What. Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And she had three. Didn't she have three kids with him?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

And then he got killed by Larry. He got killed in his own castle by Laris. Along with his father.

[Ben Mandelker]

Clarice.

[Ronnie Caram]

Killed them.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right. Yeah. Well, I have to tell you, honestly, I didn't like Jace. I've not liked him for a while, and I felt like this was his own. His own doing. Sorry. Really?

[Ronnie Caram]

I was crying. I was like, no, Jay, no.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hell no. I'm not gonna cry for this twerk burp like he lost his mom. No, I. No, no. This is toxic masculinity. He locked his mom in that room. He gets what he deserves. Sorry.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. Don't you even feel bad for Ray? Ray? She lost another kid.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well. Well, yes, I do feel bad. I feel bad for her, but I don't feel bad for Jace. I'm saying I don't feel bad. I feel bad for the dragon. I'm mad about the dragon. That's the thing. The dragon died because of this kid and because of Reyna. And indirectly with that, With. With Sheep sealer. They were all, like, irresponsible kids. I'm just like. I'm not gonna feel bad for Jace. Sorry. Bye.

[Ronnie Caram]

I did I felt so bad for him. So what do you think's gonna happen now to Reina? Because she's like her sister. She just killed. She just got her sister's husband killed. She's got this dragon she's technically not authorized to have, even though she wouldn't really get in trouble for that in this plot. But now she's got this dragon that, like, burned a bunch of their own ships and got the son killed. Killed. Are they going to kill the dragon? Are they going to kill her? What's going to happen?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. But one thing that we, I think, maybe accidentally zipped past is the fact that Alan, when he. When he fell in the water, he went. He winds.

[Ronnie Caram]

I got so excited with the other stuff. Yeah, thank you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it was a lot of stuff happening all at once. And I want to actually say that this was also exciting because it was like, you never know who's going to die on these shows. You never know, like, what dragon's gonna die, what person's gonna die, what's. You just don't know. So I was really like, on the edge of my seat, like, is this going to be Coralissa's last episode? Who's going to go down? Who's going to survive? Very, very exciting. And so Alan winds up going into like, melee combat with. With what's her face? Lohar. And there. It's like fist to fist, hand to hand combat. It's very intense. There's like a knife. There's all sorts of stuff. And in the end, Alan winds up killing Lohar and it's. It's very dramatic. And she dies in the water. And he winds up triumphant. And then Corliss. It doesn't. Corliss doesn't appear to be. He's Corus. Like, knocked out.

[Ronnie Caram]

But.

[Ben Mandelker]

But by as far as we can tell, he'll be fine. He's already in the previews. Yeah, so he'll be fine. So Allan did this tremendous act of heroism on behalf of his father while drunk, too. I like dad and. And now these dragons are dead. And Alan wasn't drunk. Well, I'm saying he drank something, so he might have been a little bit. He.

[Ronnie Caram]

Alan didn't drink, though, did he?

[Ben Mandelker]

He didn't. I thought he took a shot. He did. Remember, because you. You coughed.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, oh, yeah, I took a little sit.

[Ben Mandelker]

But I mean, it probably felt like a lot. You know, he might be a lightweight these days. I'm just saying these two guys did a lot while they were.

[Ronnie Caram]

You can't even have a shot before you drive anymore. Listen to me standing up for the other side. I'm like, you can't even have one shot and take a.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maybe I do my best work, but I'm drunk. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is crazy though, because we know. I mean this story is literally about the end of dragons. So we know that they're. Everyone's gonna die, basically. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right.

[Ronnie Caram]

But I don't like it. Still upset. It really upset me. I don't. I think the only other time on this show. Well, no, of course there have been other times. I guess this one is just the more recent, so it's the most upsetting. But yeah, When Rhaenys died. Oh my God. When that little boy. When AIM had killed the little. When Eamon's dragon killed the little boy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, that was. That was a. That was impactful. But.

[Ronnie Caram]

But yeah, that was another one where it's like, why are you letting your son. First of all, your son is not old enough to be driving and long distances and to deliver messages like about in a war. Like, what the fuck is just.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, it would probably help would be if Damon got involved with any of the central storyline of the show. That would probably help is that these kids going around making a mess.

[Ronnie Caram]

He will. But, you know, it's. It's kind of been nice having Damon separated and not just being all bossy, you know, the whole time, like undermining Ray Ray the whole time. But now he's decided that he's super into her now because he had all those visions from Alice Strong.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he's like, oh yeah, Alaska Journey.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, he did. And then he touched that wormwood tree or whatever the. Whatever that tree is. And so he. He saw the visions of the future and he saw everything happening and the tree people and the White walkers. Who do you think the White Walker is? The main White Walker?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, the theory is that it's him, right? Right. Isn't the theory that's like Damon becomes the White Walker? Is that what it was?

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, there were. Yeah, there were some that it was him or that it was like Bran going. But it couldn't be Bran, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Brand going back in time?

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm thinking of old rumors. Yeah, I'm thinking of like old rumors who it is. But once I saw that White Walker face, I was like, oh, wait, who is that? It's got to be somebody. Maybe we won't find out until the books are done. Are the books ever going to be Done.

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ronnie Caram]

Where you at, buddy?

[Ben Mandelker]

He's. Yeah, he's in New Mexico just playing around. I. How old? I mean, do we. Do we know how many seasons this show is? Is this one of those shows where they said there'll be five seasons or is it sort of open ended?

[Ronnie Caram]

Next season is its last season. There will be four seasons total.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. So we're gonna get some stuff happening. Like that's. Yeah, they're gonna cover some ground. And this. And this book, the. Or the. Whatever. This is a complete book, right? Like this is the. Whatever it was, the preamble to Fire and Ice.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. This is a completed story.

[Ben Mandelker]

So we know the full arc of it.

[Ronnie Caram]

I think on pretty much off. It's gone off the rails kind of, you know, because it's a TV show, so it doesn't follow the book exactly. Like, I don't like this Ray Rainier and Alicent like being in love or like whatever the hell they've got going, like all being like a story about girls and their friendship. It's not really supposedly what the book's about. That's why a lot of the audience got so mad. They're like, what is this shit that you're serving us? But I haven't read the book, so I don't really have anything to compare it to. And I love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I thought it was a great season premiere. I think it may. May have been their best episode yet. It was just very, very exciting. And I think if this was supposed to be or not, if apparently it was of the. Supposed to be the season finale, I actually think it was better served as a season premiere because I think it was like that exciting jolt we needed to just like get us all excited about the season because yes, it could have been an exciting season finale, but then you spend two years and like that excitement doesn't carry. After a certain point you're like, what. What happens? So like shoot us out of a cannon to start the season and get us excited to see where this goes. I have. This is the most excited I've been about this show in terms of like where starting us off. And I'm really like, I generally am like curious what is going to happen next. And that's a nice place to be in because I felt like with Game of Thrones it was always like that. And I felt like with House the Dragon, it's like a little like sometimes, sometimes you feel that way and then you get stuck with like a big long, languid episode. So I'm like, I'm Very bullish about. About the season right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

Bullish. Yeah. Well, you know, the. It was a long two years of blue balls for sure. Because the last season, it's like, easy to say. Well, not easy, but you know what I mean? Like. Like, I was thinking the same thing, like, this was better as the season premiere. But, man, I remember being pissed at the end of last year because how did.

[Ben Mandelker]

Last year.

[Ronnie Caram]

The whole season goes and goes, and the Heron hall and this and the that and the. Like, you're waiting for something huge. And then the last season ends with everybody heading towards battle. You know, you see all of the. All of the different armies and factions heading somewhere, and you see Aegon in the.

[Ben Mandelker]

The.

[Ronnie Caram]

You know, the buggy or whatever being carried away. And then. Oh, at this one. Was that the end of season one that we saw Otto Hightower in the. In the.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, it was last season.

[Ronnie Caram]

Look, we see. Yeah, we see.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ohio Tower was banished.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And it's like in a jail cell or in a carriage or something, like,

[Ben Mandelker]

saying, like, he's alive. Don't worry. Next season he'll come back and do something.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, but we saw everybody heading towards battle, and then the credits rolled and I was like, what the hell? And then they're like, well, just wait. You'll be graduating. Your kids will be graduating from school by the time we put this back out. So it's really annoying. But, yeah, it was a great, great beginning. I hope we get to see, like, a badass Ray Ray not taking any and not, you know, getting all upset over anything and just telling everyone to off and winning something.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think we need to see some more of that. And I. I do think that they've. They've put Damon out in the wilderness for way too long. And it's just. That was just the. All that stuff was just so plotting and old and long and just, like, get him back in the mix. Have him, like, do something that really seems to impact the story instead of putting him on some sort of, like, internal journey that they try to justify with these little vignettes after the show ends. Like, well, actually, like, Damon is confronting his demons and things. He's always bottled up, and this is his first time really thinking about consequences. I'm like, I really don't care. Like, have him affect the story so well.

[Ronnie Caram]

He was gone so long. He came back with a tan. Did you notice? It's like, whoa, he is full on tanned. I never thought I would see that in that guy. Yeah. All right.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. Well, fun times. Yeah, fun times. And off to a good start for season three.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, good times, everybody. Thanks for being here. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call It's Adia Paul Ain't no thing like Allison King Our

[Ronnie Caram]

way is the Amber way It's the

[Ben Mandelker]

Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.

[Ronnie Caram]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella it's all we never miss her call. It's Diane Call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Ben Mandelker]

Darren McNicholas she don't miss no Tricolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's no BS we love Hugo Es Jamie she has no last namey Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch she's our

[Ben Mandelker]

favorite streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen the picture Piston Anderson.

[Ronnie Caram]

Que sera, sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a DAISY It's Maisie McHenry come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O' Halloran Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is Living with Michelle Vivian I

[Ronnie Caram]

love Aya Olivia Williamson.

[Ben Mandelker]

She sure is swell It's Raquel, yes we can. It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Ronnie Caram]

Darn Skippy. It's Tippy and our Super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get

[Ben Mandelker]

us 10 cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real with Caitlin Onision Put us

[Ronnie Caram]

on a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher Hogle your horses It's Christine Hogle don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily Sides who, what, why, where?

[Ben Mandelker]

And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's Jen Plish have a kebab with

[Ben Mandelker]

K. Rob My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo let's get savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick Sick. It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers, the incredible edible Matthew Sisters.

[Ronnie Caram]

She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Charouse. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Ronnie Caram]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop at solely. And pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing.

[Ronnie Caram]

Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys.