#3450 Below Deck Med S11E06 Part 1:

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3450 Recap

Below Deck Med S11E06 Part 1
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: July 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

Ben and Ronnie are back from vacation and ready to deep-dive into Below Deck Mediterranean, Season 11, Episode 6 ("Part 1"). This episode is a hilarious, pointed, and at times exasperated dissection of one of the messiest charters yet – featuring Game of Thrones-obsessed guests, crew love triangles, shockingly unsanitary yacht life, and… an infamous “splooge sheet” incident. Trademarked by their irreverent and affectionate mockery, Ben and Ronnie relive every uncomfortable and absurd moment, from Dubrovnik tourist clichès to disaster deckhand romances and beyond.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Hosts Return: Setting the Scene

• Ronnie and Ben recap missing a week, but assure listeners they're back to “talk about all the splooging on sheets that we can muster” (03:00).
• They reference bonus content: Big Brother, Love Island, and catching up on all missed Bravo shows.

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2. Dubrovnik & Game of Thrones Charters

• Last week’s charter guests were self-consciously Game of Thrones–obsessed, reenacting “shame, shame, shame” on the Dubrovnik steps (“These people, they just… walk to every tourist location and then start yelling the lines.” – Ronnie, 05:20).
• Ben reminisces about his own Dubrovnik trip (“Even back then, people were doing this. So this poor city has been enduring all of us annoying tourists…” – Ben, 06:15).
• Laughter about tourists looking for western fast food amidst historic scenery:
  • Ronnie: “You got a bunch of people around there asking like, where's the Sbarro?” (09:08).
  • Ben: “Everything looks the same… beige and beige and terracotta kind of old timey structures, you know?” (09:30).

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3. The “Splooge Sheet Scandal”

The Infamous Hookup

• Recap of Luke and Jen’s extremely audible sex, including a morning round in Nathan’s bed, which Ben and Ronnie dissect for both the grossness and etiquette failure.
  • Ronnie: “You can't just jump in somebody else's bed. That's so nasty… a slept in bed. Nate slept in that bed. We see how often they do their sheets.” (11:00)
• The handjob, the “blurred” spot on the sheet, and the wild overuse of pixelation for comic effect.
  • Ben: “They blurred out to really make it seem like it was a giant puddle of splooge.” (12:00)
• Etiquette and blame debate:
  • Ben: “If you sleep in someone else's bed, you clean those sheets. …There’s a courtesy infraction.” (11:31)
  • Ronnie: “I think it's ultimately [Luke’s] responsibility… but she is a stew also.” (14:40)
• Hysterical tangent comparing yacht reality TV sex to cam-boy economics:
  • Ronnie: “You guys need to have higher standards for what you're willing to do on reality tv… splooging all over a bed is like a six-foot-five model from Men's Fitness. I feel like maybe he should have a union.” (12:42; [notable quote])

No One Cleans Up

• Both Luke and Jen abdicate responsibility; Jen, despite talking up her stew credentials, takes no initiative – a running joke for the rest of the recap.
  • Ben: “If you want to be a higher ranking stew, you've got to show some initiative… you're showing more initiative for that hand job than you are for cleaning those sheets.” (15:05)

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4. Awkward Romance & Love Triangle Dynamics

Cat & Coop’s Innocent Date

• Scene-jumping hilarity as Ben and Ronnie contrast messy Luke/Jen drama with the ultra-wholesome Cat and Coop date:
  • Ronnie: “...two sweet little angelic people just walking into each other and being like, oh my God, I love you. I love you too. Let's have babies.” (17:20)
  • Ben admits surprise at getting a Below Deck date this early in the season but suspects it’s for dramatic contrast.

Luke’s Unraveling: Jen, Joy, and Indecision

• Luke acts hot and cold with Jen after the hookup, eyeing Joy instead. Jen tries to out-maneuver Joy by staying up late, but Ben and Ronnie aren’t fooled.
  • Ben: “Did you not think at any of that time to, like, brush your hair? She's like, I'm gonna show. Oh, he's into Joy. Well, I'm going to seduce him back, and I'm going to have the craziest hair in the process.” (24:20)
  • Ronnie: Describes Jen’s wild look as “very Game of Thrones poor extra.” (25:19)
• Jen’s attempt to emotionally manipulate Luke by describing herself as “always second choice” is met with brutal honesty:
  • Ronnie: “You're giving people an instruction manual... you're saying: here's how to hurt me.” (27:00)
  • Ben: “You going up and talking to Luke and saying, ‘I'm never picked first.’ That does not elevate you to first place.” (27:56)

Sympathy for Jen, Blame for Luke

• Both want Jen to have higher standards but recognize Luke’s manipulations.
  • Ben: “I ultimately blame Luke for this.” (29:44)

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5. Comedy Interludes & Podcast Chemistry

• Ronnie and Ben riff on bread machines, baking, and the price of sourdough, drawing parallels to on-yacht drama.
• Recurring joke: “Is it an owl or a sourdough?” – referencing viral animal-looks-like-food videos.
• Satirical comparison of reality show romance tropes to old-school romcoms and Love Island disasters.

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6. The Hygiene Horrors Continue

Nathan’s Sickness

• Nathan falls ill, but the main concern is how he (or anyone) handles sheets after the splooge incident.
  • Ronnie: “I don't think sleeping, like, next to... that, by the way, did they show Nathan sleeping next to the splooge yet? …His face was cuddled right next to this stain.” (41:23)
• Discussion about whether Nathan should visit his sick baby at home, or stay away. Ben Googles if dried semen transmits disease (“No, you cannot contract an STD from dried semen on a sheet … dead germs cannot transmit disease.” – Ben quoting Google, 42:00).
• Debate: Parents’ duties if they’re sick (“If she says she wants your help, get your ass there and don't go out for drinks, you dick.” – Ronnie, 59:17).

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7. Boat Morale & Leadership

• Captain Sandy sets an example by stripping her own bed. Kaylee proactively changes Sandy’s linens – a subtle dig at Jen’s lack of initiative.
  • Ben: “Kaylee is taking the initiative to change someone's linens around here. And you know, Sandy's like, oh, yeah, thanks so much.” (35:37)

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8. Crew Gossip, Tip Meeting & Night Out Prep

• Cat bonds with Kaylee and admits her vulnerabilities about past relationships; Kaylee reciprocates. Both “ugly cry” while folding laundry (52:30).
• Luke is distracted at docking, still haunted by his romantic mess. Nathan has to step in when Luke “mucks it up” (54:00).
• Tip meeting: $27,000 tip – “You really brought Game of Thrones to the boat. Shame, shame…” jokes and all (61:56).
• Jen brags to Cat about being “chosen,” but Cat rightly questions if that’s actually true validation.

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9. Joy’s Stand

• Joy completely freezes out Luke, who laments (“The mountain is very high. I hope that he has a lot of stamina because it is going to be long.” – Joy, 56:47)
  [MEMORABLE QUOTE]
• Ben and Ronnie cheer for Joy’s strong boundaries and hope for a massive Jen tantrum in retaliation against Luke’s typical “boy” behavior.

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10. The Episode Endgame – Setting Up More Drama

• Kaylee and Joe have a touching moment; Kaylee tells him about her late brother, echoing last season’s emotional arcs.
  • Both hosts notice the reboot of last year’s Joao “I can’t handle your grief” storyline.
• Crew gets ready for a night out, split into vans – tension simmers between Luke and Joy/Jen.
• Ronnie and Ben toast Joy (and France) for Bastille Day with a final celebratory shoutout.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Ronnie, on Dubrovnik tour groups: “Can I get through my day without people screaming shame? It’s hard enough living with my brain as it is…” (05:30)
• Ben, on etiquette: “If you sleep in someone else’s bed, you clean those sheets.” (11:31)
• Ronnie, on CamBoys vs. yacht sex: “You guys need to have higher standards for what you’re willing to do on reality tv… splooging all over a bed like a six-foot-five model from Men’s Fitness.” (12:42)
• Ben, on initiative: “You’re showing more initiative for that hand job than you are for cleaning those sheets.” (15:05)
• Ronnie, on Jen’s love appeal: “It’s like going into a job interview… and being like, I always come in second, like, I never win.” (28:48)
• Ben, on Joy’s boundaries: “The mountain is very high. I hope that he has a lot of stamina because it is going to be long.” (56:47)
• Ronnie: “Is it sourdough or an owl? …and then you splooge.” (40:44)
• Ben, on bread prices: “I bought a sourdough loaf recently. It was $12.” (39:59)
• Cat, on Coop: “He just makes me Googoo a bit.” (51:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening/Return from break: 02:38 – 05:00
• Dubrovnik & Game of Thrones tourists: 05:00 – 10:13
• Splooge Sheet drama unfolds: 10:13 – 17:00
• Cat & Coop’s wholesome date vs. Luke/Jen chaos: 17:01 – 19:30
• Jen: ‘Always second choice’ speech: 26:37 – 29:44
• Joy’s epic standalone moment: 56:44 – 57:07
• Tip meeting/Game of Thrones jokes: 61:56 – 62:27

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Episode Tone & Style

The hosts balance playful, catty derision with generous empathy for the crew (especially Joy and Cat), never shying away from the gross or awkward. Their comic banter, Bravo meta-references, and ability to turn yacht hygiene into a 10-minute comedy routine all shine. Ronnie and Ben’s signature, loving snark is at its peak – this recap turns messy reality TV into podcast gold.

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For the continuation of this recap, look for “Part 2” of this episode.

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Transcript

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

What happens?

[Ben]

Who cares?

[Ronnie]

Well hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben, uni over there. Hello, Ben.

[Ben]

Hi. How's it going?

[Ronnie]

Whatcha doing there, little Ben?

[Ben]

Well, I'll tell you what I'm doing over here. I'm just getting ready to talk some below deck med with you. What are you doing?

[Ronnie]

The same diff. Well, go work. We're gonna. We're gonna go for it today. We missed last week because we were on vacation. So sorry, everybody about that. But we're back today to talk about all the splooging on sheets that we can muster. If you want this on video, go to patreon patreon.com watchwellcrafts every day we do something called crappings on demand. Okay, well, videos, you know, you can hear us and see us as well. And also we do bonus episodes over there, so you can check those out. This week we caught up with on Life, my neck lift and which is why I'm all bruised, by the way, for anybody watching this. And good stuff like that. And tv, all the TV we missed last week. We went through all the shows. So that's our bonus episodes over there. And that's it for today, you know.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Otherwise we're doing this and then we're going to do House of the Dragons after this one.

[Ben]

Also, I just want to say thanks to everyone who joined us for Crappy Hour last night. We actually spent the whole hour catching up on all the Bravo that we didn't watch last week. So if you're wondering what are our thoughts on the Valley last week, what are our thoughts on Below Deck Med last week or all these shows, we actually talked about all of them on Crappy Hour, so. So definitely tune into that episode. It should already be on your feed. So.

[Ronnie]

Yes, and also I said that was the bonus episode, and that was not. That was Crappy Hour. But on the bonus episode we did. We did still talk about stuff that we.

[Ben]

Yeah, you're right.

[Ronnie]

We watch a lot. Yeah, we actually watch a lot of tv. We talked about Big Brother, Love Island, Survivor a little bit. Even though that's not on right now. You know a lot of stuff like that. So go check. Anyway, the point is Below Deck, Below Deck Med is killing it this season. They're having an amazing season. I can't believe this episode was as good as the last one. I mean, they're really arguably better. They're keeping it just like that model on the show. Luke.

[Ben]

Yeah, I would say that this was. This was even better than last year, last week's episode, because this week's episode was like, it had all the cringiness but also then maddening boy behaviors, too, which I thought was exciting. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So let's get into it. We see some of last week, which I guess we can go through because we didn't talk about last week. Okay. So last week was a Game of Thrones themed crew. What? The last week was a Game of Thrones themed yacht trip, charter, and. Wow. These people, they just. They're the. They're the kind of tourists that we're all afraid of, I think, where they just walk to every tourist location and then start yelling the lines like they went to the shame. The stairs of shame. And then they just walk up and down the stairs yelling, shame, shame. And I felt so bad for whoever sells the Nate's hot dogs or whatever at the bottom of those stairs, just having to hear that all fucking day. Like, can I get through my day without people screaming shame? It's hard enough living with my brain as it is without, you know, people going up and down stairs screaming shame all day at me. You know, I just be grabbing my muffin top and being like, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm good enough.

[Ben]

Yeah. I mean, I went to Dubrovnik in 2018. I was, like, on a cruise, and so I had, like, an afternoon in Old Town Dubrovnik. That was before I watched Game of Thrones, and even back then, people were doing this. So this poor city has been enduring all of us annoying tourists coming through and standing on staircases and saying things like, shame, shame, shame. Game of Thrones. It was. Of course, the funny thing is that when I went in 2018, while all the. All the tourists were like, this is where the old Sept Is, or whatever, Cersei stood here once. I was like, oh, my God, this is where they got into that fight on Below Deck Med. Because I think it was season two Below Deck Med that they literally got into a fistfight in the middle of Old Town Dubrovnik. I don't know if you remember that. So I was like. I was starstruck by Below Deck Med. So it is funny that they're back there now.

[Ronnie]

When you go to those stairs in Dubrovnik, you're like, wind, wind. God, I love that banana. Do you want to hug? Naps are important.

[Ben]

It was that Boson who looked like Lisa Vanderpump. What was his name? Wes. Wes, right. Remember him?

[Ronnie]

You know not to ask me stuff from below decks because my brain DVR deletes them the second the new season comes out. There's just too many. Too many people on These shows to remember. No offense, people on these shows. But yeah, the yelling of shame is a lot. I just imagined myself standing there at the bottom like selling hats or something and someone passing me every day yelling, shame. Like, mom, leave me alone. Stop torturing me. But you know, they sell the ticket, so whatever it takes. Yeah, I feel like that so much to erase from Game of Thrones. So it makes me think about the like, special effects in Game of Thrones because you're shooting in this town that is old, but it is kind of modern. Like some of the, you know, it's modern. Obviously it's thousands of years later, so there's like probably a gap or something that you have to erase. And I thought, is it worth it just for the brick walls that you are passing by? Like, there just so much erasing to do. I mean, we would like a house on Instagram erasing half of the image that you put up there. It's a lot of special effects, I

[Ben]

will say, like old school. Oldtown. Brnick looks like it's truly Game of Thrones. I mean, if they really do keep it the way it. I mean, I'm actually looking through my photos from this time from 2018 and it really, it's. It looks like Game of Thrones. I mean, this is just like. Oh, I did. Are these the stairs? Are these the shame stairs? No, that's just a regular staircase. But they, they preserve it, they keep it looking. They're like, we're going to keep this looking as close to, to, to Game of Thrones as possible. Now that we see it's a cash cow for our city. So there's not a. There's like, not. There's like barely any signage. There's some like little, little umbrellas up with pizza under it, but that's about it. It's a very old fashioned city.

[Ronnie]

You got a bunch of people around there asking like, where's the Sbarro? Like, how am I supposed to tell when everything is where everything is?

[Ben]

Well, you know what's so funny is I'm look, where's the Sbarro?

[Ronnie]

Why can't I see the signs? Like, what the hell? What is this restaurant called? You know, they're like, it's not that. It's just a, an old stone wall. We're keeping a match.

[Ben]

I think what's funny to me is that like, I'm looking at these pictures and I actually remember one of these pictures. They're like, oh, this is where Cersei was locked up. But the truth is, whenever they're in King's Landing. On Game of Thrones, everything looks the same to me. So I look at these, I'm just looking here at this, I'm like, this all looks the same. I can't tell. It's all just like beige and beige and terracotta kind of old timey structures, you know? Yeah.

[Ronnie]

It looks more beachy on the show than. Well, I guess Game of Thrones uses those dark filters, you know, especially the House of Dragon, because that one uses, you know, blue on everything. So maybe you can't tell what anything looks like the blue filter on everything.

[Ben]

Nevertheless, the point is we are here in Dubrovnik on Below Deck Med, and it's very Games of Thronesy and these people were being very annoyingly Games of Thronesy on the show and. But the real thing was that actually had the episode began sort of with, with Luke and Jen having sex and then we, we had previously left off with them banging so loudly that everyone could hear. And then the last week's episode began with them decided to do a morning session on Nathan's bed and wherein Luke.

[Ronnie]

I have to, I have to stop you. Only to rewind. And I know that's so annoying, but it's because the most annoying. One of the most. And there's nothing, there's nothing more annoying than the splooge part. But. So they have sex. Then he says, I'm sweating, but don't leave. Just go on Nate's bed. And she's like, okay. And then she goes down and moves into Nate's bed and like holds his hand from below, like, oh, yeah, we're gonna hold. Yeah, the, you know. What are you doing? You can't just jump in somebody else's bed. That's so nasty. That is so nasty just to begin with. Especially a slept in bed. Like Nate slept in that bed. We see how often they do their sheets on this show. It's not often. Yeah, gross.

[Ben]

Well, if you're going to do that, then also like, you know, change the sheets afterwards. Like if you sleep in someone else's bed, you clean those sheets. You know, that's the courtesy. So just even before anything happens in this bed, maybe there's a courtesy infraction that's happening. But nevertheless, Luke jizzes on, on Nathan's sheets and they, they blur it out. They have like a little. Which is funny because I, I doubt we could actually see the splooge on camera. Maybe we, I guess maybe we could see some like darkness but like they blurred out to really make it seem like it was a giant puddle of splooge.

[Ronnie]

They were blurring out the hand job, right? Because she.

[Ben]

But no, they also, like, she.

[Ronnie]

She reached around, he was big spooning her, and she reached around and gave him a hand job. And then he can't. Like, he. He was getting a hand job on camera and then came on camera. Yeah, on the bed.

[Ben]

But. But they still. When they. When they show, anytime they cut back to those sheets and there was no one in it. They had a pixelated section every single time, like, way after it had dried. And it was, like, clearly not visible. The producers were like, we're still gonna put a pixelation as if it's a big turd that's there. So that was horrifying because it just stayed there.

[Ronnie]

I feel like they don't make enough money on this show to be coming on camera, you know, like a Camboy or something. Those guys, you know, me and my friends watched a Camboy and stuff. We're cracking up just at the, you know, like, kind of like getting naked one little thing at a time and then playing with their wiener, but then talking to you the whole time being like, oh, hey there. Hey, Molly. Hey, Molly. Good to see. Oh, yeah. You want to see more? Better give me some tokens. Oh, hey there, Jeff. Jeff. Has it been going at work? Hey, I want to drop some tokens there, Jeff. Like, they're constantly trying to sell and do all of this. Like, they're hustling. It's like watching a Costco sampler person masturbate. Like, they're hustling so hard, but then they're also, like, jerking off. And then on this show, they're just like, freehand job right on the tv. I mean, what do you get paid for this show? $5 a week? You know, that's just. You guys need to have higher standards for what you're willing to do on reality tv. Because splooging all over a bed is like a six foot five, you know, model from Men's Fitness. I feel like maybe he should have a union. I don't know. But that's just not enough money.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's fair. So they have this intimate moment, and then one of them. I could have sworn Jen said, I'll clean that up. But then somehow it becomes Luke, who's going to clean it up? Like, I was a little confused about. I don't know, did he. Did I miss something where he said, no, you don't clean it up. I'll clean it up.

[Ronnie]

I don't Remember who said, I'll clean it up, but your first instinct should be to grab that those sheets and be mortified and throw them.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

Right.

[Ben]

The moment that you're reaching for the doorknob is the moment that there should be like one hand on the doorknob and one hand on all those sheets in a bundle. And you put them in the laundry room. If the machines are going, you put them in, you just put them on the floor. Like these have to be washed.

[Ronnie]

You know, you got it. You got to watch this. I mean, that's just so fucking nasty. I think it's ultimately his responsibility because he was the one fucking in his room and then told it's his, you know, the lady he was having sex with to go down on the other thing and it was his splooge. So I think ultimately it was his responsibility. But she is a stew also.

[Ben]

So that's the thing. And she's saying, and she's not only a stew, she's a stew who's bragging about how good of a stu she is that she's been first due elsewhere or that she wants to be first due and why she should be second stew. And like, I think if you want to be a higher ranking stew, you've got to show some initiative. And good Lord, there could. You're showing more initiative for that hand job than you are for cleaning those sheets. So get your priorities straight. I mean, I say do both. Well, I have a hand. Let's do a hand job. Have fun with it. But like, yeah, come on, don't complain.

[Ronnie]

Was. Yeah, we're not even. We're not shaming the sex part.

[Ben]

It's the 100% that's the cleaning part. Don't. I'm, I'm saying don't complain about the fact that you don't have seconds to. And then here is a moment where you should show some true initiation and you're just not. Not initiation. Initiative to you should do this. If I mean, I'm not saying like who, I don't know who's who's response responsible for cleaning these sheets, but I'm just saying if this is literally your job and you want to show that like that like I will, you know, I deserve a second spot because even if it's something that I probably don't have to clean, I will do it because that's how dedicated I am to my job and do it, do it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, but she doesn't and he doesn't and yeah, because he's the one who's

[Ben]

actually saying he's going to do it. That's the thing. So I feel like she failed because she didn't show initiative. And this is her. This is her job. And she's complaining about how she's being passed over, yada, yada, yada. And here's a very simple area where she could, you know, excel at her job. And I think he's fails because he actually says he's going to do it and then doesn't and spends the whole episode being like, well, the machines are. Are full every single time. I'm like, no, no. You put that on the floor, someone's going to pick it up and put it into a machine at some point.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So we open. So then, you know, other stuff happened that really nothing compared to that. I mean, that was pretty much the whole episode.

[Ben]

Irrelevant.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, Cat and Coop went on a date. And the juxtaposition of just the most innocent people on the planet going on a date, they were like, intercutting it with hand job and all of this other stuff because they're on a date. And he's like, I won't even kiss a girl until I'm sure, you know, I got to talk to my daddy about it first. I hope Nate comes back soon. And she's like, this guy is like, so amazing. He's like rom com goals. No, because in rom coms, the guy's like a jerk at first or he, you know, he doesn't know who you are. You're just like the, you know, the mousy little secretary who takes off her glasses and then is suddenly gorgeous. And then, I don't know. There needs to be some conflict. It's not just two boring people walking into. Well, I shouldn't say two boring people. Two sweet little angelic people just walking into each other and being like, oh, my God, I love you. I love you too. Let's have babies. Let's have babies. I mean, that's too much real life to be on a movie, but it is really cute to watch them do it.

[Ben]

Yeah, they're. They seem very sweet so far. I was a little dismayed that we're so early in the season to be saddled with a below deck date scene. But I think it was really there just as a contrast between what was going on with. With these, With. With Luke, et cetera.

[Ronnie]

Also, here's the thing. This man is from Charleston. So are we really believing he's not a douchebag? Because we've watched a lot of shows that take place in Charleston. And I don't think that anybody on there has turned out to be just some sweet guy.

[Ben]

So can I say something with something that was, like, not pointed out on really, even on the show itself, but something I observed, and I think this is a. On an episode where there'll be a lot of complaining and a lot of ranting. I want to have a positive moment, Ronnie, which is as part of their Game of Thrones dinner. I want to give a shout out to whoever made the little Game of Thrones Throne for the primary. I don't know if you noticed that they took a whole bunch of plastic swords and taped them to the chair. And I was like, you know what? I see that creativity, and I would like to recognize it because someone put some thought into that, and I really liked it.

[Ronnie]

Wasn't it the Chief Steel?

[Ben]

I don't know who did it. If they did show it, I zoned out because I don't pay attention to when they make their table skips. But, you know.

[Ronnie]

Well, I think it would be the chiefs, too, because she's like, the tablescape queen. She loves the tablescapes. But, yeah, I thought that that was pretty. I thought that was pretty good, too.

[Ben]

Like, it was so cute. The guy was sitting there with all these plastic swords on his chair. I loved it. I was like, you know, on an episode full of splooge and jizz and poor hygiene, like, give me a good throne.

[Ronnie]

I know. I think it's important to, you know, really stay with the theme when you're doing a show and you're celebrating one specific plot. Oh, my God. It just came. Just kidding. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. You know, one thing I love about summer is how easy everything feels. The days are more relaxed, and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

So Cat and Coop go on a date and then it ends with Luke trying to end things with Jen. Okay, so of course they have sex. And of course you know, this guy does obviously what we all know he's going to do, which is immediately look at the camera and say oops, yeah, maybe I'm not into her. I like Joy because Joy's got something deeper I want. What do I do? Sir, this was not some drunken whips. Your penis did not just fall into that vagina. You've known this person. You've known her level of like cuckoo bird and you went right into it twice on two different beds. So no, no.

[Ben]

Yeah. And so then he starts trying to be really nice to Joy, but Joy's already over him because Joy's like No, I do not deal with these stupid d. So he is. And he realizes he's messed up. He's messed up a shot at Joy, too. And he's probably messed up his free food. So now he's gonna start distancing himself. And so what does he do? He. Eventually he's like. He starts. First of all, he starts staying up later after his bedtime to help Joy in the kitchen. He, like, cleans a few dishes. And of course, Joy's like, you clean two dishes, that doesn't fix anything. But then what's her face. Jen is like, oh, two can play at that game. So then she stays up extra late after her shift is over. So that way, when he comes down, he comes downstairs, he's asleep, and he. He wakes up at like 2:30am or something for his anchor watch. And she's like. She's like, oh, yeah, they just went to sleep, but they'd gone to sleep like, two hours earlier. And so the conversation.

[Ronnie]

She's like, I'm gonna show him. I'm gonna stay up extra late working, too, and getting less sleep. He thinks he's gonna get away with it. Wow. Diabolical.

[Ben]

I'm like, Jen, as long as, by the way, she stays up two extra hours just wasting time, so that way she can talk to him privately. Did you not think at any of that time to, like, brush your hair? She's like, I'm gonna show. Oh, he's into. He's interested in Joy. Well, I'm going to seduce him back, and I'm going to have the craziest hair in the process.

[Ronnie]

She. Her hair was like a rat's nest sticking all out. She had two little braids coming down the front of her head looking crazy. I'm guessing that was her Game of Thrones effort. And then she. Maybe her whole hairdo was, like, from the Game of Thrones thing, because she does. She looked like one of the people in Game of Thrones that's just like, in a tavern that they're throwing a cup at or something. It's like, yeah, and it's very specific that they're throwing a cup at. But, you know,

[Ben]

she's like, I've had to give up my house for a soldier of the high towers.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it was very. She was giving, like, very Game of Thrones poor Extra. And I thought, no, she kind of

[Ben]

made Reina look pretty good. She was. I was like. I was like, wow. You know, looks kind of put together compared to Jen. Oh, God.

[Ronnie]

So, yeah, so she decides to, like, Confront him on why he's being distant or, like, confront him on their relationship or. Okay, look, this man not only moved you to the bottom bunk, but that made you, like, lift your hand to hold his hand. That's like, this man is not here to make you comfortable. And you know what I mean? Every little sign is that this guy is not going to be the guy.

[Ben]

The hands. It's like the Sistine couple, you know, touching fingers. But so she's there and she's like, he. So he's decided he's going to call things off. So he's from the Joao school of direct communication. And he's like. He's like, well, as far as I'm concerned, there is no more love triangle. And so she's like, well, she starts this. Oh, I wanted to hear.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, yeah. So is that the discussion we're having right now? We're starting with the episode, right? Or did they have.

[Ben]

It's sort of like blends. But was there other stuff before that that you wanted to.

[Ronnie]

No, no, no, no. I just thought it was funny how she starts off the conversation because she's so pushy and the way when they were. When initially she walked up while he was talking to Joy. When. On their night out. When on their night. You know what I'm saying? On their night out, she walks up and she's like, can I pull up for a chat? Or whatever. And Joy leaves, annoyed. And then she sits down with him and she's like, well, first I have to tell you that, like, I'm always second choice. And, like, everybody I've ever been with has cheated on me. Oh, my. I know that you're doing that because you think you're going to guilt him into not doing that to you, but sometimes I think you're giving people an instruction manual. You know what I mean? It's like you're saying. That was almost like you're putting. I know. And I. I feel like I've done that before. Like, when you give your insecurities to somebody and then they know exactly what to harp on with you, or they know exactly how to get you.

[Ben]

You know, it's almost like. Or if you go up to someone and say, like, you're not mad, are you? And they're like, I wasn't mad, but should I be mad about something? Wait a second. I realized, yeah, I actually be mad.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. But she thinks she's gonna kind of manipulate it. And this is before they hooked up or anything, but she's like, I'm gonna win this guy by saying, I'm always second. You don't want someone there because they're feeling bad for you. Come on, Jen. I mean, Jesus Christ.

[Ben]

And also, what, like, what about you interrupting him talking to another woman to announce that you're sick of being like you, you want to be chosen first, suggests that you were chosen first in this situation. Because the, the mere fact that. That he has prioritized talking to Joy over talking to you means you're already in second place. So you going up and talking to Luke and saying, like, I'm never picked first. You're not. That does not elevate you to first place. And now if you have been picked and if you guys do everything from this point forward, no matter what you say, you're still picked second. Because he was talking to Joy first and he was showing interest in Joy first.

[Ronnie]

That's true. But you're also telling. It's like going into a job interview even though it's not a job, but, you know, like a situation where you're trying to impress somebody. Somebody and being like, I always come in second, like, I never win.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Want to hire me? No, not really. Yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

Like, I don't know, complain about that to your friends. You don't complain about to the person that you like. Now, that being said, I. I still am extraordinarily sympathetic to Jen because I think she is. Well, I think. I don't think she knows how to, you know, interact with other humans properly. And I also feel like she's like, she. She's like, pining for love and she's pining for. For this stuff and she doesn't know how to go about it. And so she's sort of desperate and this guy's taking advantage of her, honestly, because he knows he has all the control and he's like, sweet. This is an easy way for me to get, you know, to get. To get laid, maybe even have a hand job in the morning. And for her, she's like, ah, finally, like. So I, I mean, I just, I want her to. I want her to raise her standards and do better for herself, but I ultimately blame Luke for this.

[Ronnie]

Well, yeah, well, listen, I.

[Ben]

Not saying that, but I'm just saying I want to reiterate before. If people are like, wow, you guys are like going in on Jen so hard. It's like. No, no, it's more just like, you know, this is like the, the antivan here. This is like the video that's going to play in the anti van when we put you in it, which is like, this is. These are the things you have to look out for if you don't want to be chosen. Second, don't go to the guy who's already chosen you a second.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And talk about how you're always second trying to guilt him. Guys are not going to feel guilt like that. You know what I mean? They. They don't operate on the same. On the same emotional wavelength where they're going to be like, oh, I feel so bad for you. I can't sleep around. It's like you're saying, I'm insecure, so I'll do anything to get your attention or, you know, your whatever. And then he just uses you. I mean, oh, and it so sucks because all of us who are involved with men get this. We've all been through it, and we're like old guys. So we're watching this young, you know, girl do it, and it's like, no.

[Ben]

I mean, we just got through Love Island. We're. We're still. We're still dealing with the Melanie and sincere. The ramifications of Melanie and sincere. But it is the same pattern of like, don't hurt me, don't hurt me. I swear to God, I've been hurt before. Don't hurt me, don't hurt me. It's like the guys. Like, the guy will then pretty much just go and do that thing, which is what sucks.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my gosh. So, okay, so she decides she's gonna have this talk with him. And she's also really pushy, you know, and she's competitive, obviously, and she's. She's just that kind of personality. Like, my parents are so successful, but I'm gonna be even more successful as a purser or whatever. So she's got that kind of personality. And she's one of those people who's gonna tell you what you're thinking and then let you just nod your head. So she goes up to him, and she's like, yeah, after the other night, like, I feel good with everything, and you seem to have the same thought. And then she just nods at him. Meanwhile, she's got, like, dark circles from, like, eyeliner coming down and crazy hair and these little braids. And she's looking at him so intensely. She's looking at him like the girl from, like. I wouldn't say Blair Witch, because she's facing the. She's facing a corner. I don't know, like a horror movie where they just, like, obsession flash on the lights real quick, and you just see someone giving you that intense look like, I just came out of the toilet and I'm going to kill you.

[Ben]

Yeah. God, ghosts love crawling out of weird places. So then, seriously, like I said, the ring. Yeah. Rip, rip, ring, girl. But so then Luke is like, well, nobody wants to be in a love triangle, and nobody wants to be the second choice, which is why I am making you the first choice. A person that like to dump this season. Congratulations.

[Ronnie]

So first place in the race of people that I don't want to be with. But he's not. He's not even that clear. And she's like, well, I mean, from where I'm standing, it sounds. It seems pretty easy. And he's like, well, that's why I want to take the time just to step back and just to reassess and realign.

[Ben]

She's like, yeah, like, I mean, you and I were just chilling. That's like her attempt to be like, I'm a cool girl. He's like, yes, we are cool. She's like, yeah, our vibes are just, like, good right now. And that's why I needed to, you know, with you today, you know? And he says, I know what she hears is what it's just like. It's just like her and I. But really what I mean is my heart is with joy. Like, oh, your heart is with. Your heart on is with joy. Your heart is with joy.

[Ronnie]

Too late. Too late. That's not how it works. And you're on an enclosed space. You're in an enclosed space. You're on a boat. Like, there's no running, sir. There's no waking up and just walking away, you dumbass. So. And this is very joao to be like, well, I don't know why she's not hearing it. I mean, all this girl needed to do was make him a goddamn cheesecake for two days and walk around with it, you know? Oh, for Christ.

[Ben]

We really need Ellie on this boat to, like, read this guy for filth. Although he actually gets read for filth pretty well. So then Jen is like. So she's like, I mean, there's no more triangle, so none of this has to be weird what's going on here? And Luke says, you know, over time, I've learned when to have difficult conversations. And with Jen in the middle of a charter, I can't push it any farther than it is. Like you. This is the time to have your awkward, your difficult conversation because she clearly has Goo Goo Gaga eyes for you. And you're sitting here giving her this like. Like, either don't have the conversation or have the conversation. But the quasi half conversation is where you're really going to get into trouble, where you're going to semi say it. And then she'll be confused and then you're going to make it seem like it's almost her fault for not understanding your cryptic words.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Like, you don't have a. You don't. You can't push it right now. You had no problem pulling it over and over again, you douchebag. So he's like, oh, yeah, I can't do anything right now. It's just going to be too stressful at work. Yeah, it's going to be more stressful when people find splooge on their sheets.

[Ben]

I know. How about you think about when to have the difficult conversation while you clean the sheets? How about that?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And so she's like, are you gonna deal with the bins? I mean, they're not that full. He's like, yeah, I'll do it. She's like, yeah, thanks. Going to bed. Bye. Wow. Just solidified that one. I've got a boyfriend. There is no more. There is no more competition here because

[Ben]

you called the race off, Jen. It was worth it to stay up those extra few hours. So now it's the morning final day of charter. Everyone's waking up. Joe says hi to Luke. Cat begins her morning shift. Kaylee's on the bridge with Sandy. And by the way, Kaylee is like, want me to change those. Those linens? So we see, like, that's a subtle contrast. Like, Kaylee is taking the initiative to change someone's linens around here. And you know, Sandy's like, oh, yeah, thanks so much.

[Ronnie]

Well, Sandy.

[Ben]

And then we see Joy.

[Ronnie]

And that's another thing. Sandy is. The captain walks up to her and she's like, here's my sheets. Thank you.

[Ben]

That's what you do.

[Ad Voice]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

That's what you do when you're a boat professional. You take your sheets off and you hand them. Even the captains, you know, doing that with her. Not split sheets, but still, you know, you get your own sheets. So then Joy is making some bread and muffins, and then we go and she's braiding a brioche, which I thought

[Ben]

was really what I'm gonna bake. I'm. You know what's great? You know what's great, Ronnie? I. I thought I had a doctor's appointment today, this afternoon. Turns out it was this morning and I missed it entirely. And I was really annoyed by it, but. I know, but it means My afternoon's free. I'm gonna make some. I'm gonna make a. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make, like a bready type thing. I'm gonna make something that has, like a rise, you know. Now I have, like a period of time to do it.

[Ronnie]

That's my kryptonite in the kitchen. I cannot make decent bread. I just can't do it. I've tried it during the pandemic where everybody was like, oh, my God, let's make a sourdough together, you guys, we're all inside. Let's make some bread. So I got with that and I, you know, I've been talking to you about trying to make bread for years, and I've just never been able to do it. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I'm not a bread maker from, like, Amazon and made a bread maker.

[Ben]

Bread maker doesn't work.

[Ronnie]

Years ago it made it, but it came out like a big kind of hard loaf and it smelled so yeasty. I just didn't like it. I've just never made. I've never made a bread that's up to my standards as a bread lover. I mean, really, all I am made of is bread and potatoes.

[Ben]

So I enjoy my bread machine. I think it's really fun. And I accidentally bought a thing of bread flour this weekend instead of regular flour. So I'm like, even more motivated to make some bread. But I agree, like, it's not the same. I saw a video this morning and it was like, oh, look at that nice round of sourdough. And you're just looking at it and then someone touches it and it turns out it was an owl and, like, its head turns around like, I love those videos. I thought you would love that. Yeah, I do. Sourdough. It looks like sourdough, but really an owl. What a great misdirect.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Oops. Ouch. Just ate an owl. That was. That was awkward.

[Ben]

Also, owl. What's up with your survival instincts that you just let yourself be poked by a human? It's a gen owl. Like, this love triangle's over, right?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. But I love this because Joy was braiding a brioche. And I love the contrast between this last scene of Jen being, you know, crazy eyed, looking at Luke being like, so you're saying there's a chance and her braids coming down. And then it's like Joy, you know,

[Ben]

braiding a beautiful brioche.

[Ronnie]

It's like, this is like poetry.

[Ben]

It really is. Also like, I just don't understand how you'd even mess up up the chance to just have to be with someone who could just make a brioche without having to consult a recipe. Like, to me, that is special. Like, those people who really know how to make bread, just, like, they just know you put in this much ease and this much flour, but. And they just can make something like, make a bread like you do. Not that up. It's a beautiful.

[Ronnie]

It really is a beautiful. And you don't see bakers on Love Island. You know what I mean? Like, you don't see people. You don't see bakers on these shows where people are like, oh, my God, I'm, like, so massively into a baker. Why? Why is that on these shows?

[Ben]

Yeah. All we got was gal who could make coffee and apparently claimed to love to cook because he has a little cafe in Mar Vista.

[Ad Voice]

Sick.

[Ronnie]

So also, bread is still a really under. It's one of the only industries that hasn't gone crazy trying to charge us $9 million for things. Like, I bought a sourdough loaf the other day, and it was $4, and it was so beautiful. Like, it's stunningly beautiful. It's one of the only things that hasn't gone insane in prices where they're like, you know, a sourdough is now $12. I wouldn't be surprised.

[Ben]

I love that for you. I love that for you. I bought a sourdough loaf recently. It was $12, so.

[Ronnie]

Oh, wow. I guess the price of your sourdough in my dystopian future.

[Ben]

So I love that for you. I love your depressed sourdough prices. Maybe you bought an owl and didn't realize it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's. He. Maybe I did sourdough, but it was beautiful and it was very lovely. Where did you get a 12? I'm sorry. People are like, this show is about to vote people. You've been talking about bread for 10 minutes. But where I got it, I got.

[Ben]

It was fancy. It was. I got a tartine.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, there's you go. Those are gorgeous, though. Oh, my.

[Ben]

They're gorgeous and delicious, Honestly.

[Ronnie]

You want me to splo on your sheets? Put a sheet in front of the counter at tartine. Because that. That. Those things are gorgeous in that bakery case. Wow.

[Ben]

Is it sourdough? It's a new show on Netflix where you have to decide, is it sourdough or an owl, and then you splo. So Joy is making her brioche, and. And everyone's. Nathan is, like, sneezing. He doesn't feel well. So now Nathan is under the weather. I'm sure he did not get a cold from the splooge, but I think we're all thinking like he got something from that splooge and his body's trying to. Is trying to fend it off. Right. He got good old fat. The good old fashioned common splooge gold.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I don't think sleeping like next to. By the way, did they show Nathan sleeping next to the splits yet?

[Ben]

They did on it. He was on it without a short.

[Ronnie]

That. Yeah, that was the, that was the big, huge circle they showed. It was nasty. And they showed him like cuddled up to it sleeping too. You know, like sleeping on your side and then cuddling. And he was, his face was cuddled right next to this stain. So disgusting. Okay, I know we've gone for a long time about splooge, so now I'm gonna get mad about someone coming onto the boat sick. I don't like that. So it's like on a tiny little thing, you're going to get everybody sick now. I mean, what are you supposed to do? Just not have a chief or a lead deckhand? I guess you have to come to work.

[Ben]

But yeah, I, I have.

[Ronnie]

I.

[Ben]

By the way, for those who are interested, I did ask Google and said, can you contract a disease from dried semen on a sheet? And says no, you cannot contract a sexually transmitted disease or HIV from dried semen on. On a sheet. The viruses and bacteria that cause STIs require a moist, warm. Why do you have to say moist Google? Warm environment to survive and quickly die. Once the fluid dries out, dead germs cannot transmit disease. So I guess that's the upside. Assuming that Google is actually correct. But these days, considering all, all the issues with funding for cdc, etc, I don't know what to believe anymore because it's just an intern there being like, I think it's okay. Yes, as, as, as parasites, you know, take over all of our fresh produce. Oh yeah.

[Ronnie]

God, I read about that parasite thing.

[Ben]

No salads for a week.

[Ronnie]

Oh really? Is that what it is? Obviously I didn't read too much about it. I just read one going around.

[Ben]

So the, our, our wonderful government cut funding for tracking like many, many like foodborne illnesses. Last year, one of them was this parasite that has now taken over Michigan and is spreading. It's now in California. So it's like, I, I don't know, the official guidance. Don't look to me for official guidance. Go look it up properly for your region. But people are now saying, like, stay away from fresh vegetables and prepared like salads and everything. And if you are going to get like vegetables, get them whole and peel out the outer layers. It's a whole mess. So really glad we stopped. We cut funding for the CDC on that thing there. That's great.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, great.

[Ben]

Love that we did that.

[Ronnie]

Great. Glad our taxes are going to nothing.

[Ben]

No, they're going to war. Don't you worry. Oh, that's true.

[Ronnie]

That's true. They're going into bloodshed and murder. So we've got. We've got that going for us.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Wow. It's all going great over here. Anyway, my point is that sourdough not. Is like no splooge. And you shouldn't be blowing it all over the place at work. There. I got it out.

[Ben]

I will say that. There. There is that too. Everything's got. This is a boat of horrors right here, okay? Like, we. We literally just got through hantavirus and then this is happening. I mean, it's just not fair. It's a lot for us to take it. Take on.

[Ronnie]

It's not. But I would like to put some grateful energy out there into the world. That sourdough is not made from vegetables. Thank you. Because I'm eating that.

[Ben]

Thank you.

[Ronnie]

So. Owls are not a vegetable. For those of you shaking your heads at home. So Nathan is sneezing all over the place. And Coop's like, you okay, Daddy?

[Ad Voice]

You okay?

[Ronnie]

Please, Daddy, no. We're worried about you. He's like, you don't have to sit at my bedside. I'm not your father. Please leave me. I thought you weren't coming back last night, Daddy.

[Ben]

Gail calls up, Nathan, could you help me take care of Coop? I just need your help. So then Sandy says to Nathan, how you feeling, huh? What an episode of Wind last night, right when he got out of that bathtub all naked, just staring at us and made those. Those orders about the wind. Wow. I was. Couldn't believe it. And Nathan's like, well, I feel mucusy and sneezy and puffy. She's like, okay, well, stay away from me, okay? No, I'm. I'm not joking. I know you're laughing. I'm not joking. Just stay away from me, okay? Because we gotta. I'm the cap that I can't get sick. Okay. All right. Get away from me, you sneezy mc. Sneeze and mix mucus. A lot like a sleeping in someone's dried semen. Geez.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I'm surprised that Sandy wasn't like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You are hugging. That's like quarantine. But, you know, people hug you. Okay? It's where you stay alone, but people come up to a window and they just give you, you know, spirit hugs through the window. I'm surprised that she didn't quarantine him because usually Sandy's like, oh, no, no, no. Watch her sick. Oh, my God. Hold on, let me pull up my. My toolbox here of positive affirmations for you. Okay. Because she's a big quarantiner, but she, you know, I guess. What are you gonna do without your lead backhand?

[Ben]

Yeah. By the way, we see the previews for next week. I think Joe starts puking off the side of a naughty boy. So it's just nothing but bodily fluids this season. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

There you go.

[Ben]

Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie]

One thing my mom loves is to bargain hunt. She will go to a garage sale, to a flea market, any old sale at the mall. I'm taking her from sale to sale to sale to sale. And I finally found someplace online that I can just park her and she'll have the time of her life. And that is whatnot.

[Ben]

Whatnot is an app that does live shopping. There's a whole community there on whatnot. You're connecting with sellers and other shoppers and it's kind of like, like hanging out with a group that gets you. And this is like a really fun way to shop.

[Ronnie]

You never pay full price, Sarah. You can shop name brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry, and more, all without the sticker shock. It's the best place to find great deals on products you love.

[Ben]

And there are amazing sellers with great, great taste. And they're going live all the time, like 24, 7. You can comment in real time and they'll just show you, like close up of clothes. You'll be like, hey, can I get. Can I see that a little bit closer? I want to see that detail on that shirt. And they will show it to you

[Ronnie]

because it's real time and you can sell too. Do you have clothes, bags, or accessories sitting in your closet that you don't reach for anymore? What not makes it easy to turn them into cash. Connect with shoppers who share your style and have fun going live while doing it.

[Ben]

It's amazing what you can find on there. I literally just purchased a mid century modern Dansk yellow paella pan for 35 and I've seen it listed elsewhere on the Internet for $80. It was a bargain.

[Ronnie]

Download whatnot today and get $20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Search whatnot W h a t N o t in the App Store. Sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with $20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Lately I've realized that when my energy dips or I feel off, it's usually hydration related. Not sleep, not coffee hydration. Drip Drop is my go to fix because it helps me bounce back quickly and stay clear headed and get back to my day without feeling like I'm playing catch up.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

So Nathan is talking to Joe and telling him stuff to do and he's like Luke was supposed to do that and he didn't do it. Like what the hell, these rails aren't clean. And Nathan's like damn it Luke, where's Luke's head at? And Joe's frustrated. He's like I'm very frustrated with Luke. He's in his head with Jen and Joy. See, I've been in a love triangle myself so I understand you better step real carefully with what you're doing, man, the Internet's gonna hate ya. But God, it's good to see it be someone else this season.

[Ben]

If you make this awkward between a chef and interior, those three departments that you're already affecting, you're practically affecting the whole dynamic of the boat. Well, that's true. So sounds like if this were last season to Below Deck Down Under, I guess we'd have to fire Jen. Because remember when they or I demote Jen? Remember last season when they basically, like, Jenna was like, in a love triangle with Ben and Eddie and.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God.

[Ben]

Yeah. Losing your strike.

[Ronnie]

Oh, Jesus.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

Oh, God, you're infuriating me all over again. We've got enough to be pissed about in this episode. Don't bring that one up. Jesus.

[Ben]

So then Joe's asking Coop if he's excited for the. For the night out. And Joe's saying he's just like, really excited to get drunk with Kaylee. She's perfect with me because she's down for anything serious. She's not. She's not down for anything serious. And. And Coop is saying how he and Cat are like, well, we're really on the same wave. And then the guests come out and they have a lovely lobster Benedict breakfast, which looks really great. And then everyone's cleaning and Nathan's telling Luke to do some lines, and Luke is all distracted because he's in a love triangle.

[Ronnie]

Don't have to ask me twice. So then Kaylee and Cat are talking and Kaylee's asking how you feel about Koopa? And Cat's like, who makes me Google a bit? Holy. She's like, have you ever had a long term boyfriend? And she says that, yeah, she's had a long term boyfriend and it was over a year and it was really tough when they broke up and it really ruined her a bit. And then she starts telling us that they were obsessed with each other. And then he was starting a business and she was in law school and, you know, she had her whole life planned out and it just went to. Because they were at different places in her life. And the producers like, have you gotten over. It's like, not really. Oh, no. I knew this would work. Like these two, like, just really sweet, good, giggly, dorky people.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

I just had a feeling. Well, maybe it will still work. I don't know.

[Ben]

Yeah. Listen, Cat, I know that after your boyfriend went off to law school, things fell apart, but there's hope for you guys. Just watch Southern hospitality. I think Emmy and Will are. Are doing great. So Cat is like, oh, God. It just sucks. Like, I haven't been with anyone, and Cooper's the first guy I've opened up to since my last relationship. And so feeling vulnerable again is just, like. It's super, super difficult. She's just, like, ugly crying over Cooper and this guy.

[Ronnie]

Poor Cat.

[Ben]

She's so lovely. So she.

[Ronnie]

She is really lovely. And Kaylee's like, yeah, my last boyfriend. I thought I was gonna marry him too. And she's like, yeah, just sit over and that. And then they make some hospital corners on a bed.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's. That's the best way to suppress her feelings.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Making hospital corners.

[Ben]

My tears into a nice.

[Ronnie]

But these two.

[Ben]

It's like you're around a sourdough.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I don't think either one of these guys is gonna be the one to, like, help your feelings. Geez, Joe. You've got Joe over here and Luke over here. Oh, my God.

[Ben]

Yeah. So it's time to dock, and Nathan is telling Luke to do something. He's like. He's like, just watch that line doesn't fall in the water. Just go back to the cleats. We need that line out of the water. Look. And Luke's like, yeah, I know how to do it. And Dave is like, just go to go back to cleats, bro. But Luke is basically up left and right. And Nathan's like, I don't know what the is going on with Luke, but he seems really distracted. He just needs to snap out of it. So they. They dock. Luke is. Does not do a great job, but they're there. They don't crash or anything, so it's a success.

[Ronnie]

What's he. What's he like that for? You just came twice. Like, what are you so distracted about?

[Ben]

Well, that was yesterday. He's all filled up and ready to go.

[Ronnie]

Yesterday, he's filled up again. So let's see. Whatever. Oh, so then Jen is talking to Cat, and she's like, yeah, so last night I had a really good conversation with Luke. Yeah. Who's like, so guess what? There is no love triangle anymore. And I was like, oh, my God. That's all I wanted to hear, bro. Nailed it. Won that one. That's pretty good.

[Ben]

And so Cat's like, so he gave you validation? She goes, yeah, I mean, just like, the clearest validation. I mean, I believe that his words were, yeah, maybe we'll hang out again. I'm not sure. I don't know if I really like you that much. I was like, enough with the sarcasm.

[Ronnie]

Right?

[Ben]

I just love A sarcastic guy.

[Ronnie]

Then even he was that clear. But geez, this guy. So then Joe is telling Nathan like, oh, my God, this Luke guy's on one today, you know, and he's like, yeah, since last night out, there's been something bothering him. All crew, let's meet the doc for guest departure.

[Ben]

So everyone leaves, and now it's time for the tip meeting. And they, they, they. They do some cleaning before the tip meeting. And so right before the tip meeting starts, Luke turns to Nathan and go. He's like, well, I was going to do your betting. And he's like, no, I'll do mine, bro. I'm going to do my betting. I'm going to. I'm going to take it. I. I like to do my own. He basically is like, I want to do my own betting. And so he's like, now gathering up and handling all the semen. Sheets, Sheets. And Luke says, Jenna were intimate on Nathan's bid, but I never had the opportunity to clean the sheets. But I should have, should have, could have, didn't. What can you do? You know? I'm like, no, no, you don't get to be, like, coy and do. I should have, could have, didn't. Like, you had so many chances. You. It does not take more than 30 seconds to rip those fitted sheets off that mattress and throw them in the laundry room across the hall.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And Nathan's like, I'll do it myself. I don't want to make anyone sick. Oh, God. Oh, if only if we all had that thought process. So then Luke sees Joy. She passed. Well, she passes right by him, and she passes through the crew mess, and he's like, thank you for breakfast. And she's like, just ignores him. She doesn't even know any of this happened yet, and she still has already written him off.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah. That's great.

[Ronnie]

This is what I like to see.

[Ben]

She's wonderful. So then Joy is like, we look engine. I don't know what they have done, but even if they have just kissed, it is disrespect. I did really think that we really liked each other, but there's now no chance I will talk to him again unless he proves that he really wants to be with me. The mountain is very high. I hope that he has a lot of stamina because it is going to be long.

[Ronnie]

I was cheering at the TV when she said that. She's like, the mountain is high. I hope he has lots of stamina. Pretty good. So now we go to everyone cleaning. We see changing sheets again. I think production is like, look how much sheets are changed. Here's the ninth. Like, how we're going to show you sheets being changed on this episode. It's like, this is the. What, the splooge bed is the only bed on the episode that has.

[Ben]

This is not going to change.

[Ronnie]

Two days to be changed, you know?

[Ben]

So now Gail. Nathan's speaking to Gail on the phone. She's like, what are you doing? And he's like, nothing much. Just washing down the boat. I'm gonna. I'm gonna come back to the boat tonight because I don't want to risk her baby gotten sick. It's like, really? But I thought you were gonna come home. And he's like, no, but I don't want. I'm looking out for my son. I don't want him. I want. I don't want to be selfish. I actually care about not making people sick, unlike some other people here, I suspect. Oh, gosh.

[Ronnie]

Isn't this the part where she was crying? I remember one part she was crying and saying, like, it's just. Or it sounded like she was crying, but she's like, it's just really hard to do this all alone in the middle of Croatia.

[Ben]

I think she's. Later. Another. It's another conversation later on. But basically she's pissed. She's like, okay, do whatever you think

[Ronnie]

is best, because guess what moms have to do when they're sick. Be around their baby.

[Ben]

Take care of their baby.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And then he's like, oh, yeah, I don't feel good. I can't go out with the baby. I can't come see you and the baby. Still going out with everybody to, you know, breathe all over the. All over them at dinner and, like, enjoy myself and have drinks. Well, it's like, you can't be there with the baby.

[Ben]

You can wear a mask. I mean, I don't know. This is actually one I have. I. I don't know what the protocol is with parents. Like, is it better if you're sick to stay away from the baby, or is it better to. To help out your. Your wife? Right. Like, I don't know. I really don't know. But I do know that he hadn't

[Ronnie]

gone out drinking if he hadn't gone out with everybody to have dinner and drinking later and had, like, stay confined or something. Okay. But I got pissed when he's, like, out and he's like, oh, sorry, just can't be there with the baby.

[Ben]

I agree.

[Ronnie]

The baby sick. Don't. I don't Know, just. That's gross. And she's obviously crying that she needs you there. So I would. I would take the mom's decision. I would take the mom's wants over you thinking about the baby. If she says your help badly enough that she's willing to risk it, then you get your ass over there. Dude, what the hell?

[Ben]

He's basically like, he's gonna be a nuisance to everyone because if he stays on the boat, he's gonna make everyone on the boat sick, which can make everyone's life harder. And by the way, congratulations to whichever guests wind up sleeping in the guest room that he sleeps in, because you're all gonna get sick now.

[Ronnie]

And killed me when he was like, I'm gonna just sleep in the guest room because I'm not feeling well. Well, that's great for the guy who works with you because he's not in, but.

[Ben]

Yeah, I thought someone just paid like, $20,000.

[Ronnie]

Yes. They're not going to be wiping down every, you know, section of it with bleach.

[Ben]

Yeah, I don't know. I actually really don't know. I, you know, I think. I don't know what. I don't know what the protocol is with us, but luckily, I don't have children, so I don't have to worry about it.

[Ronnie]

So I say to the mom, that's the protocol. And if she says she wants you there, get your ass there and don't go out, you know, for drinks, you dick.

[Ben]

That's. That's probably a good, like, because the other thing is this. You can go home and you can, like, mask up and help out, and then, like, maybe you sleep in a different room or maybe.

[Ronnie]

I was gonna say you've told me and you're. Well, that's. Sorry. That's not really anybody's business, I guess, but, like, there have been times when you guys have been. One of you has been sick and the other one has, like, slept in another room or whatever. So, yeah, like, if there's been, like, you're trying to help each other, you're still being there for each other, but not trying not to get each other sick as well.

[Ben]

You know, more like in the, like, sort of in the peak of, like the past few years when I was like, oh, like, I might be coming down with the COVID Does this mean I'm gonna be like, you know, I don't want to give you Covid by accident. And then all of a sudden, your whole, you've got a gig coming up. Up, and vice versa. So we try to be mindful, but there are, like, ways. There's just. There are ways to. To deal with all of it. But the point is that everyone's sick on this cast in some way. There are germs going left and right. I still. By the way, I also don't know why he doesn't, like, put on a mask if he's feeling. I don't understand with anyone. Like, this is, like, it's not even a political thing. It's so annoying that you even. I even have to give a disclaimer if you're feeling ill and you're gonna be around a lot of people, like, just put on a mask as a common courtesy. It's like, the same courtesy as, like, covering your mouth when you cough. Like, I just don't understand, like, why you wouldn't do that. But.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, whatever.

[Ben]

But here we are.

[Ronnie]

So sent. Now's tip meeting. It went really well, guys. $27,000. You really brought Game of Thrones to the book. Shame, shame. Just kidding. I wish I had a staircase so I could just stand in it. Get a bell. Go. Hugs, hugs.

[Ben]

Hey, do we have anyone else coming to this meeting? Asia, do you mind? If you just hold the door. Hold the door, hold the door.

[Ronnie]

Get it? So now Luke is saying, you know, he's telling Joe, like, I'm gonna have some big conversations tonight. And they're like, oh, no. Joe's like, o. Oh. So then we cut to Jen and Cat, and Jen's like, oh, my God. This was the position I was in the other night with, like. And she just, like, splays out on the floor.

[Ben]

Cat is in the unlucky position of having to, like, be, like, Jen's audience because, like, Jen's like. Jen is so eager to tell the world about all the different things going on in her life, and Cat is the one who's stuck hearing it because she's not going to tell anyone who's superior to her. So Cat just has to listen to Jen as she natters on about everything stupid, like, sexual conquest and, you know, primal urge that she has. And Cat's like, oh, wow, great. Thanks. I'm so good to hear this. So happy.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So Luke is still talking to Joe, and he's saying that he's gonna talk to Joy, and he's like, I need to tell her just truths, only truths. Maybe I get a chance at redemption. Come on, man. It's like, one night after or two nights after. What are you talking about?

[Ben]

No.

[Ronnie]

Why? What is even going through his head? Do you think he's just so tall and muscular that he's used to people doing whatever he wants and just getting away with? I think so, because this can't be the first time.

[Ben]

I think so. So Kelly asked Jen if Jen and Jen had to talk with Luke, and Jen's like, well, there's no more love triangle. He confirmed it, everyone, mission accomplished. Can we have a banner up here in the. In this. In the crew mess?

[Ronnie]

And she's like, finally, I'm someone's first choice. This is like the valid I needed. We can all move on with our lives, guys. Okay? Don't worry about it. I won.

[Ben]

So now Luke and Joe are on the deck, and Luke is like, it doesn't feel right. And I. I want to do things that feel right and maybe even like tight and sort of stimulating and things like that. And he says, enough is enough. I have to end things with Jen, and I'm going to try to repair things with joy. But if Jen doesn't get her way, big tantrums, so watch out. And, you know, he's saying these things with such gravity where I think he starts to believe that he's actually taking the high road and he's being a gentleman here and that he's actually like, we should actually be congratulating him for being such an honorable person. It's like, no, bro, you're a boy. Shut up.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And the whole huge tantrums if she doesn't get her way. Well, it's not like you just met her. You know what I mean?

[Ben]

This is your fault.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Like, yeah, this is you, you dumbass.

[Ben]

When he says enough is enough, it's almost like, I. I am so above this situation. It's like you caused the situation.

[Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Into you. And you knew that you were not into her.

[Ronnie]

You knew at this point. Well, he was into her enough to come twice, but at this point, I'm really cheering for her to have a tantrum and make a love.

[Ben]

A tantrum from her.

[Ronnie]

I would love it because I hate when they get away with this. On this. This show specifically. Constantly. Get away.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

You know, so, I mean, to the. It's not like no one has ever stood up for themselves. But not enough for me, you know, I mean, I need a supreme. A supreme telling off. I thought the last time Joe was in a love triangle, she handed that. She handled that really well when she found out what a boy he was. What was her name?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Blake Lively.

[Ben]

Girl V. V. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

God, you're good. You're really good. With below deck people.

[Ben]

Memories here and there, here and there. So everyone finishes cleaning. It's. I can remember their names, but I can't remember what happened last night. I'm like, I'm like, what happened next? Now Asia, I guess, talks to Scott, which is fun.

[Ronnie]

She. She calls Scott and updates him on every single thing going on on the boat. Like, this is good.

[Ben]

She's a sweet.

[Ronnie]

Oh, there's this girl. She's a little rougher, but still a great job. So they're talking about their wedding and all that good stuff. And then we go to interior and Kaylee goes for cuddles with Joe and they get in bed together. And then she shows him her pocket locket in memory of her brother who passed away. And that's crazy that it's the second Joe season in a row.

[Ben]

I know, right? Like, here we go again.

[Ronnie]

Because V had just lost her boyfriend the year before.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And needed support from Joe. And then Joe immediately was like, I can't take it.

[Ben]

Yeah, he. And, and so, yeah, because Kaylee, she tells about how her brother had, I think, cerebral palsy. I. I could be wrong. And he passed away when he was five, so it was a long time. But she, she, she has a very nice monologue about how she set love saying his name to keep his memory alive, etc, and she's telling Joe this. That's why she has the locket. And he's like, that's lovely. What a beautiful thing to share with me. I can't believe she shared with me. And I was like, this is. Joe's gonna with this girl again. Especially when we've seen the previews for next week. When she says the anniversary of her brother's death is coming up, I'm like, he does not do well with those death anniversaries. No kidding. Watch out, Kaylee.

[Ronnie]

Like, how is that possible? That that's a plot again? That it's like someone else's death anniversary coming up for Joe to up. So I don't know, let's see if Joe's learned his lesson. Because from what I've learned, what I've learned from the show is that people don't learn lessons. But we'll see. So then we see Cat talking to Jen and she's like, whose betting is this? And Jen's like, I think I saw Nathan and Luke doing their sheets. It's the juice sheets. It is legit sheets. And Cat's like, oh my God, thank God these are finally here.

[Ben]

And then Nathan is telling Asia that he's not gonna go see Gail. And Asia says, well, no matter how much support you've got, it must be so hard sitting at home with the Bab all the time. But it's short, too. And it's yet another show on Bravo where new parents are spiraling, because this is all that Bravo is all of a sudden the Valley. This show in the city a little bit. Yeah, Definitely next season. There was some other show that wasn't there. Some other show that's McBee Dynasty. They're all. They're all going through it. This is.

[Ronnie]

I mean, I've never. Obsessed with the Valley. And then they're like, you know what people want to see? Miserable people with babies.

[Ben]

Wow. You really have not never seen such strong marketing for staying single and, I guess, childless. This is why. This is why I love Old School Roni. Because they already had their kids. Their kids are 20 years old. They're off to college, and they're just. They're past their. They're past their kids, they're past their first marriages, they're past their careers, and now they're just drunk in Manhattan. Like, that is what.

[Ronnie]

Well, not at first. They weren't. Yeah, there still was.

[Ben]

There are very few little babies.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And it wasn't about how hard it. You know, how hard that part was. It was like the. How amazing it is it to be drunk with my friends instead of being at home with my kids, which.

[Ben]

Exactly.

[Ronnie]

I. That is the lifestyle I watch Bravo for. You know, I'm not saying other stuff shouldn't exist in the world. Of course it needs to. That's how the world goes on. Like, you have kids. You deal with your miserable loser that you married because you settled. Whatever. That's awesome. I have to watch that in real life. I don't want it on my Bravo. Okay. I want drunk, crazy people with rubber faces yelling at each other for no reason.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's. You know, I'll take one show where there's a. Where there's issues with the. With the baby and everything like that in terms of, like. Like, you know, having to raise a baby. But it's just too much on Bravo. I mean, this is supposed to be escapism. I. I'm lucky because I don't even have a kid, but I have to imagine if you have a baby, maybe. I'm sure there are some people who watch these shows and are like, I get it. And this is, like, very compelling because it's like you're really identifying, but I have to imagine there are a lot of People that are like, I don't want to turn on Bravo and see what I'm dealing with right now.

[Ronnie]

You know, I love that we're talking about, like, what a blessing it is not to have kids. I actually turned to my nieces last week, and I was like, you guys, I'm so blessed to not have had you. I love you so much.

[Ben]

Like this, like, what?

[Ronnie]

You know, once or twice a week at my house playing video games because it's like, it's too much.

[Ben]

Go home. Go.

[Ronnie]

I'm just home. Go home.

[Ben]

Tracy, Oakland. You can't live with your design. You're going home. Call back to Top Designer. See you later, decorator.

[Ronnie]

So now everybody is getting ready to go out, and they're like, oh, my God, you look amazing. No, you look amazing. And so they separate into vans, and in the first van, we've got the Stews and Coop and Joy. Coop and Joy. And then in Van 2, we've got Asia, Nathan, Luke, and Joe. So in Van 1, Nathan is like, oh, you were down for this charter thinking about. About Jen and Joy and. Huh. What about that? I mean, I noticed that you're missing some spots on stuff. It's too much thinking about your Winkle and Lucas.

[Ben]

I was hurting.

[Ronnie]

What.

[Ben]

What do you hurt? Is it hurting from coming too, too frequently? What are you hurting about?

[Ronnie]

Is every boy. This is every boy is. Whenever they're called out on stuff, it's like, but I'll feel painful.

[Ben]

Next is, I. I love my mom. I love my mom. She's done everything for me. So he goes, I'm hurting that I hurt Joy. I, like, join a very different level. Well, it's inherently a different level because you don't actually like Jen. So every level is different from that. And so then. Then we see Kaylee and, you know, Joy. They're having fun. And Joy is saying. She's like, no, I don't. I don't drink. I'd rather don't drink. No, straight away. And then Luke is saying, I love.

[Ronnie]

I think tonight she's like, no, I don't drink. I'd rather not drink.

[Ben]

Yes, she's amazing. Oh, I see. What? I don't drink. So when she said it, I thought I. Yes, I now see the context, what she's saying, which is like, this drink is beneath me that you're handing me. Yeah, that's how I took it. But I love that it's Bastille Day today and we're getting such a great Joy episode, because this is like, if we're going to celebrate great France. Like let's do it through the the body of Joy because joy is just like amazing.

[Ronnie]

Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben]

Watch. What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice and King

[Ronnie]

our ways the Amber your way it's

[Ben]

the Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster it's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

[Ronnie]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt she's not just a Sheila she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call It's Diane call Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier Aaron McNicholas she don't

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

no BS we love Hugo Es Jamie, she has no last namey Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch she's our favorite

[Ben]

streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson

[Ronnie]

she gets a name from us it's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisalino Fresh as a DAISY It's Maisie McHenry come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O' Halloran Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without out the Berg Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore this is Living with Michelle Vivian I love Aya Olivia Williamson, she's the lady of the house

[Ben]

It's Rachel Sharrous she sure is swell

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's

[Ronnie]

share with Sharon Eldridge Darn skippy, it's Tippy and our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us

[Ben]

10 cc's of Betsy MD we're taking

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

real with Caitlin o' Neal Put us

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

And Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall we got our wish It's Jen Plish My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo let's get savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron, she's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlas Rogers, the incredible edible Matthew sisters.

[Ronnie]

She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Brin Prince.

[Ben]

She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Ronnie]

We cannot tell a lie.

[Ben]

It's Sarah Tell of son Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing.

[Ronnie]

Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys.

[Ben]

Back to school always makes me nostalgic. New shoes, sharpened pencils, Trapper keepers, lunch boxes, and trying to memorize your friend's home phone number. But parenting during Back to School looks a little different now. Between school pickups, carpools, practices, and after school activities, kids need a way to reach their parents. And honestly, they need a way to reach them too.

[Ronnie]

But a regular smartphone can come with a lot more than just calls and texts. Social media, Internet browsers, endless apps, and constant distractions that can be a lot for kids to carry into the school year. My friends have a kid and they were fighting over whether to get the kid a phone because you kind of have to have a phone as a kid kid in today's world. But they did not want their kid to have the tiny computer, the gateway to a lot of bad things in their hand. And this is the perfect solution.

[Ben]

That's where Gab comes in. Gab makes phones and watches designed for kids with no social media apps and no Internet browsers. They give kids the connection they need while giving parents helpful features like GPS check ins, optional managed contacts, safer messaging, and even the option for Gab music clean songs curated specifically for kids.

[Ronnie]

It's a more age appropriate way for kids to build independence and a much easier way for parents to feel good about that first phone or watch.

[Ben]

We can't recommend Gab enough and right now use our code to get 25 off a kid's phone. That can make parenting easier and give you more peace of mind.

[Ronnie]

Visit gab.com crappens and use code crappins to save 25.

[Ben]

That's Gabby Gabb.

[Ronnie]

This episode is sponsored by Michael's, one of our very favorite places in the entire world to shop.

[Ben]

This is a true story. One time I thought I was walking into an entirely different store and I was like, wow, they have really upped their crafting game in here and then I realized it was Michael's and I was so happy. Have you ever accidentally walked into a Michaels? It's a dream.

[Ronnie]

So I always thought Michael's was just for crafting, but it turns out they have a ton of party supplies.

[Ben]

They call it the Party Shop at Michael's.

[Ad Voice]

Whoa.

[Ben]

Oh, you know what? There's a party at Michael's. Okay.

[Ronnie]

The Party Shop at Michael's has everything you need to create the ultimate assortment of party supplies and balloons.

[Ben]

They have over 60 themes like soccer and rainbow and rodeo and they just lowered prices on hundreds of items. Some stuff starts as low as 99

[Ronnie]

cents and you can get same day delivery or buy online and pick up at the store. It's perfect for celebrating birthdays for the kids or adults.

[Ben]

They also have free helium inflation for balloons on select styles.

[Ronnie]

Visit Michaels in store or shop online now. Michaels Everything to celebrate anything.

[Ad Voice]

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