#3456 The Valley S3E16: The Balls’ in Your Court

Summary

Watch What Crappens: The Valley S3E16 "The Balls’ in Your Court"

Hosted by Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Aired: July 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie dive into Season 3, Episode 16 of The Valley, recapping the drama, absurdities, and interpersonal chaos circling the cast. The main storyline centers around Jasmine and Melissa’s engagement party, the fallout from Danny's disastrous birthday, and Danny’s heavily-televised vasectomy. The hosts bring their signature sarcasm and warmth, oscillating between mocking the cast’s antics and expressing genuine exasperation at the frustrating dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Aftermath of Mexico and Danny's Birthday

[04:25–06:47]

• Ben and Ronnie recap last episode’s events: Danny gets belligerently drunk at his birthday in Mexico, makes everyone uncomfortable, and ends up sulking at the bar because he can’t convince Nia to sleep with him. Lala puts Danny in his place (“Don’t talk to me like that. I ain’t your wife.”).
• Both hosts are exasperated with Danny’s lack of self-awareness and his inability to understand why no one enjoys his presence anymore.
• “He’s just the worst.... He’s really terrible. I think... he's used to being the one that everyone loves and... actually, no one enjoys him anymore.” —Ben [06:11]

2. Life in Santa Clarita: Location as Isolation

[07:12–10:41]

• The move to Santa Clarita is dissected as both literal and metaphorical isolation for Nia, with Ben describing the area as dry, far from L.A., and “a different region.”
  • “I feel bad for Nia in the sense that she is... basically been stolen away from all her friends and civilization." —Ben [08:05]
• Petting zoo stories provide comic relief but underline the weirdness of the current “Valley” lifestyles.

3. Nia and Danny’s Relationship

[10:41–16:52]

• Ronnie and Ben note Nia’s focus on controlling Danny’s public drunkenness while missing the main issue: “The fact that she doesn’t even understand why people are uncomfortable is tragic.” —Ben [11:50]
• Both hosts see Nia as furthering her own isolation by scapegoating the group and buying into Danny’s narrative.
• Ronnie: “They needed a new couple to come in this year to shake things up because this is the same shit we’ve been talking about forever. It needs some new shit.” [12:55]

4. The Cast’s Reaction to Janet’s Trauma

[44:09–47:52]

• The guys at Danny’s “balls voyage” party are deeply dismissive of Janet’s revelation about her trauma, questioning her timing and sincerity.
  • “Now all of a sudden, it all becomes invalidated because it's, you know, not on their time... it's not really as simple as that.” —Ben [45:26]
• Tom Schwartz unexpectedly offers nuanced advice: “You should respect, not diminish someone’s feelings. I’ll never really begin to understand PTSD... when you react and match their energy, it just corroborates the way they already feel.” [48:19]
• The hosts are appalled by Danny and Luke’s lack of empathy.

5. Kristen & Luke: Engagement Doubts and Therapy

[31:23–35:06]

• Kristen confronts Luke about his wedding doubts revealed in Mexico. Luke admits he didn’t realize the sacrifices required.
• Ben notes Luke’s inability to communicate reassurance, while Ronnie strongly advises Kristen not to marry him (“Don’t marry this man. Don’t do it.” [34:41]).
• The couple are in therapy but their fundamental mismatches and mutual complaints are on display.

6. Lala & Girls Night: Grief, Sobriety, and Group Tensions

[36:26–43:00 | 56:57–65:46]

• Lala’s dog Lily passes away, and her grief becomes the emotional backdrop for her girls’ night to celebrate her sobriety. Ronnie remarks on the emotional overload: “Do not invite me to girls night right after you do it. Please.” [57:01]
• At the gathering, Lala presses Kristen to articulate her ongoing grudge against Janet. Kristen bluntly states she just doesn’t like Janet, and no longer trusts her.
  • “No is a full sentence.” —Ronnie [64:36]
• The hosts reflect on how reality TV forces people into prolonged contact well past the expiration of genuine friendship.

7. Ball-Related Humor: Danny’s Vasectomy

[20:08–23:12 | 51:35–53:34]

• Danny’s highly-televised vasectomy leads to endless ball puns and jokes about the scheduling. Both hosts question why the surgery was planned for a day when Nia would be absent, suspecting a production ploy.
  • “The ball-scheduling is... like, why didn’t they schedule that ball surgery at a different time?” —Ronnie [23:12]
• The actual procedure is mined for every cringe-worthy, emasculating gag possible, with Ben and Ronnie fixated on the nurse having to shave Danny (“Shave your taint at home! That’s something every boy should learn.” —Ronnie [53:10]).

8. Jasmine & Melissa’s Engagement Party

[49:49–87:19, especially 76:01–87:19]

• The episode’s “happy” anchor is Jasmine and Melissa’s lesbian engagement party, planned by Brittany and attended by the usual cast plus Bravo-adjacent faces.
• Ben: “If you’re getting your wedding dress at a place named after both Jax and James, I think that’s not a great sign.” [25:49]
• The hosts poke fun at routine wedding dress montages and “Game of Thrones collection” references.
• The party features musings on Janet’s social status, Zach’s inability to follow/unfollow, and group attempts at superficial peace. Jasmine’s speech echoes Bachelor clichés: “All my walls are down, I feel so vulnerable...” [86:50]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Danny:
  “He is just the worst... he’s used to being the one that everyone loves and is entertained by, and actually... no one enjoys him anymore.” —Ben [06:11]

• On Reality TV Friendships:
  “Reality TV is always funny because it forces people to still interact long beyond their friendship has curdled.” —Ben [64:37] “No is a full sentence.” —Ronnie [64:36]

• On Wedding Dress Shopping:
  “Let’s not name our store after just multiple men that Lisa Vanderpump forgives after abusive behavior.” —Ronnie [26:38]

• On Danny’s Vasectomy:
  “The ball-scheduling is... why didn’t they schedule that ball surgery at a different time?” —Ronnie [23:12]
  “Shave your taint at home! That’s something every boy should learn.” —Ronnie [53:10]

• On Janet’s Self-Rehabilitation:
  “Janet’s doing a good reset season, you know? Yeah. And there are just worse people right now and Danny is the worst.” —Ronnie [89:19]

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Danny’s Mexico Meltdown Recap: [04:25–06:47]
• Santa Clarita Isolation: [07:12–10:41]
• Danny & Nia’s Relationship Dynamics: [10:41–16:52]
• Ball Surgery Scheduling & Gender Roles: [20:08–23:12]
• Wedding Dress Shopping Montage: [25:49–29:56]
• Kristen & Luke’s Therapy and Wedding Doubts: [31:23–35:06]
• Lala’s Grief & Sobriety Girls Night: [36:26–43:00][56:57–65:46]
• Danny’s Vasectomy Procedure: [51:35–53:34]
• Engagement Party and Group Dynamics: [76:01–87:19]

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Tone and Style

The hosts maintain their typically irreverent yet ultimately empathetic tone, alternating between biting sarcasm and genuine concern for cast members' well-being (with periodic nostalgia for lighter, earlier seasons). Their banter—complete with in-jokes, analogies (Bachelor speak, “Game of Thrones collections”), and Bravo insider references—makes the recap accessible, funny, and sharply observant.

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with both hosts reflecting on the season’s challenges (too much focus on toxic couples, not enough fresh drama), advocating for new cast members, and appreciating Lala’s role as a straight-shooter this season. Their wish is for less “Danny as villain” and a return to lighter, messier, and more varied interpersonal chaos.

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For listeners, this recap delivers all the essential drama, clever commentary, and context needed to follow the episode without watching the show, while capturing the snarky, affectionate spirit that keeps fans returning to “Watch What Crappens.”

Transcript

[Hannah Berner]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

the app, like rotisserie chicken that's extra crispy steak with marbling the Romans would have loved, and lettuce you'd actually pick yourself.

[Ronnie Caram]

Just leave a note for your shopper so that they can get it right

[Ben Mandelker]

for you without having to ask.

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Hello and welcome to Watch what Happens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how's it going? Hey, good.

[Ronnie Caram]

What's going on with you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Not much. You know, we are here on Thursday Bagel. Thursday I had my bagel and we're here to talk about the valley, of course. Don't forget to go over to patreon.com watch what crap ins and you can get access to our bonus episode which was about other TV like Big Brother and Love island and things like that. Oh, is that a topachico I hear over the sound?

[Ronnie Caram]

Splurted everywhere.

[Ben Mandelker]

God, it sounds so refreshing.

[Ronnie Caram]

Doesn't it. Some of the bubbles.

[Ben Mandelker]

Summer weather. Oh, it's delicious. Sounding delicious. Ronnie does a newsletter every week that's free for all. That's also on Patreon. And we also have ad free listening there and also video. So you can watch the Topo, Chico, not just listen to it. Today it is Valley time, and we are. We're closing in on the end of the Valley season. We still have two more episodes, though, but this one was all about Jasmine and her engagement party. This was sort of like the step in, like, for her wedding since they didn't actually film her wedding. What are you thinking, Ronnie? How are you feeling? How you feeling about the Valley?

[Ronnie Caram]

Great.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, it's.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. I'm not really into a show, watching dudes be, like, you know, emotionally abusive to their wives. So I'm kind of frustrated with this whole thing. I thought it was a cute episode for Jasmine, though, You know, I like Jasmine, so I thought it was cute, you know? What are you gonna do? It's a show on Bravo. I keep watching it. I love the first couple of seasons of the Valley. This one has frustrated me. But you know what? That's just. That's how life goes. There's peaks and valleys in every relationship. I'm in a valley. I'm in a valley.

[Ben Mandelker]

With the Valley, we are. We're out of sync with the shows that we are hating this week. Because for you, you're not really feeling the Valley. I don't really feel McBee. But the good news is, one thing we both feel is the desire to make fun of people on reality television.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. No matter what, bring us together.

[Ben Mandelker]

That will always.

[Ronnie Caram]

No matter what you feel, times. Yeah. No matter what you feel, you. You make fun. And that's. That's how you should live your life, you know? Make fun.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. So. So we're. We're back from Mexico. What you missed, by the way, on the latest episode of Crappy Hour. We did talk about, really, all the shows from last week that we didn't talk, that we. That we missed all the shows that had something exciting going on. And so we did talk about the Valley, etc, but for those who missed it, basically Danny was being a pig, as usual. He got too drunk. He is the one who started asking questions about why people feel uncomfortable around him. And then he accused everyone else of bringing it up. Lala put him in his place wonderfully. First by saying, I ain't your wife. Don't talk to me like that. I ain't your wife. And then I ain't That I ain't

[Ronnie Caram]

that I'm not that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Or whatever she says.

[Ronnie Caram]

You know, typical Lala.

[Ben Mandelker]

Polly Pocket.

[Ronnie Caram]

Her finger guns that she has. You little Polly Pocket.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whatever she was saying.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, it was good. Lala's great when she's aimed at someone you detest.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is the best version of Lala. And Tom Schwartz again did something very impactful on the show. Just kidding. He did nothing. And Danny. Oh. But the episode ended with Danny basically sulking at the bar alone because he wasn't able to go upstairs and have sex with Nia on his birthday. So.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh. And he just got, like, you know, kind of told off by everybody. Well, Lala. But nobody really is going to help Dan. I mean, Danny's like a belligerent idiot drunk, so. And he keeps bringing up the same thing over and over and expecting an apology. You're not getting an apology. You are not the one, Danny. Oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Idiot. Idiot.

[Ronnie Caram]

And then sitting at his birthday, like, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. What an insufferable little Gooner.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. He is just the worst. He's really terrible. I think as a. As an actor, I think he's used to being the one that everyone loves and is entertained by and thrilled by, and actually, he's just like, no one. No one enjoys him anymore. And he doesn't understand that, which is why he keeps on asking, like, so apparently I make everyone uncomfortable. He, like, can't imagine that he. He sees himself as the life of the party. And his completely puzzled as to why he would ever be considered annoying. But he's actually one of the most annoying people on Bravo right now. Yeah, he really is.

[Ronnie Caram]

He really is. And then the music on this show continues to crack me up. It's like, money, money, money. I got all the money. I got all the girls of money. And it's Monday. Yeah. And then it closes in on Danny at his house in Santa Clarita. I'm like, what? This is a song. It's a song being sarcastic. Like, what.

[Ben Mandelker]

What is this? It's like Santa Clarita, where, like, that's. That's the closest he could get to Los Angeles and. And be able to have, like, a little backyard for less than $500,000 or something. Like, it's like they had to go all the way up there. I went to Santa Clarita during our break, actually. Not to. Not just not to experience the Danny and Nia lifestyle, but just I was up there and it is. So far, I just. I know we've emphasized it many times, but this is a fresh visit. It didn't get any closer. It was not easy. It is so far and so dry, and it is so hot up there. Like, if you are up in Santa Clarita, you are in a different region. Okay. You're in a different region. I feel bad for Nia in the sense that she is. She's basically been stolen away from all her friends and civilization.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, you got to pet a goat.

[Ben Mandelker]

I did. We went to a petting zoo, Dom and I. And I. I didn't pet a goat because the goat had lice that day, but I pet several sheep and.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, a sheep.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was amazing. It was the most beautiful thing. Oh, my God. I also fed a pig. I did not enjoy that, to be honest. I think people. That's supposed to be, like, wonderful because the pig was huge and cute and adorable.

[Ronnie Caram]

The pig. So the pig. Did you hand feed it? Like, you held stuff in your hands and the pig ate it out of there?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. You put food on your hand. You put the food. You put the food out like this. And the thing is, you can't put your fingers forward because it'll bite your fingers. You have to put your palm forward and, like, licks, and it gets everything on your hand. And I wanted to be like, let me. Let me step out of my comfort zone, because I don't normally like doing this. It was disgusting. I also pet a cow, which was fun.

[Ronnie Caram]

You pet a cow?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Yeah. Those are pretty cute.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. But pigs, I don't know who would tell you to put food in your hand and go near a pig. Don't eat your hand off.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, you have. That's what you have to serve it. Like, you sort of like.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, you just put it on your. You can get your snot all over me while you eat. And I had it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

For three days. And it changed my life, Spanky. But even. That's what I learned. I was like, not even a little pig. Don't feed them like that. You know, that's when you put it on the ground. You don't care. Your pig.

[Ben Mandelker]

The pig was enormous. It was enormous. It had no spatial awareness either. And it was just. It was crazy. But it was adorable. And. But yeah, the petting Z was great. Santa Clarita, I don't know.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Danny and Nia are talking about. We just got back from Mexico, Daniel. And he's like, this whole Mexico thing, I just don't understand it. Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think he's actually talking about the concept of the country. What do you mean there's more places outside of America? And he is like, yeah, I had this conversation a few times in my head. In my mind. My friends don't act like that. I'm like, well, that's because it's happening in your mind, but in your reality, they do. She's like, friends don't do that. I keep saying that, but then for some reason, I keep considering these people my friends. And that's the hard part for me, because I was even thinking about your birthday dinner, because in my mind, that's not. That was not your birthday dinner. You're angry at your friends who are really just trying to look out for you and stand up for you than you are at the guy who is making your life a living hell, who has stolen you off into Santa Clarita, away from the joys of Ventura Boulevard.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, and she also started some of it, Nia, you know, which I found interesting. Like, telling Danny in a gay bar where there's strippers and people are like, you know, getting bumpy and grindy. She's like, tell or don't. You know, move your hips in, y'.

[Hannah Berner]

All.

[Ronnie Caram]

You're gonna make every. You're making everybody uncomfortable. And then set him off into his, like, little baby tantrum that he still. I mean, he just went off for days, including his own birthday. So, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that was. That still was so remarkable that she even said that, like, your hips are making people uncomfortable when no one had said that. It's just like. That was her. Her takeaway is that she's clearly still fixated on the get a drink for daddy moment with the hand on the. On the butt or the thigh or where hand was. And it's like, no, you're making people uncomfortable because you're loud and annoying and you're sneaking drinks around, and people don't want to feel like they are, like, accomplices to whatever secrets or bad behavior you're doing. It's like, people. The. The. The stuff with the. The hand, I feel like that has now been resolved. It's just more like. But, like, that's all she can focus on. That's like, all. Like, that's. That's just. That was just.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, the fact that she doesn't even understand why people are uncomfortable is, like, tragic.

[Ronnie Caram]

Especially now, because this season, he's been so mean to her in front of everybody on camera, belligerently drunk. So I'm confused as to why she's confused. And you can see that she sees it because she's trying to drag him away so he doesn't look stupid or trying to stand in front, you know, in between Lala and him so that he doesn't say the wrong thing or whatever. But just get him out of there and then don't, don't kind of poke at him and tell him, oh, there, you're making everybody uncomfortable, Daniel. They're just both so annoying at this point. Just go away. None of these people are your friends. And this show really could use some new casting. It needed it this year too. They needed a new couple to come in this year to shake things up because this is the same shit we've been talking about forever. It needs some new shit. So they needed to be fired already. But I guess, you know, things changed for sure.

[Ben Mandelker]

So next season it's going to be Sheena in a Groucho Marx mask and Brock in like a blonde wig and she's like, hello, my name is Robert Mina. My name is. I'm sorry, my name is Sir. Sir. Sir Galschina. And this is my wife. Rocket. Just could be undercover as a new couple, a gender swapped couple.

[Ronnie Caram]

They're going to be gender swapped.

[Ben Mandelker]

So that way people be even less likely to recognize them in their minds.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, they announced. Well, I think it was official. I don't know, I don't even know what to lie anymore, what you see on social media, but that there's going to be a season four of this. They announced it and they picked up cameras so they could get everyone's reaction to Jax being caught with his, you know, his publish his and Britney's publicist. Lori K. I don't want to see that.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is not a care the cameras again. Like, I'm sorry, I don't care about someone who is never on this show dating having an affair with someone who's no longer on the show. Like the stakes are so low for me. I don't know why we're picking up the cameras again for this. I would rather pick up the cameras again because, you know, Luke went fishing.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like this is, this is so inconsequential to me. I don't even know why it even is making so much news, you know.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, we all knew that Lori Kane Jax banged a long time ago. There was that rumor that they banged in the bathroom and then Britney took it, took Lori K off of her Instagram, but then I guess still kept her as both of their managers. Apparently Britney just fired Lori K. She's still been both of their Managers, which is. Which is nuts. But. Yeah, I don't need the cameras to be picked up ever again. Actually. No, just leave the cameras down. Put the cameras down and walk away.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what I say. Well, yeah, that's. That's. That is what is. I think you're right. Bring in a new couple. But I also think it's really shitty that Nia is basically like, none of these people are my friends. And this is. Like, this is what's so sad in these relationships is the guy is the dick and he's awful, but he also, like, creates a culture of, like, circled wagons around us and, like, we're the only ones that matter. And so now she's gonna isolate herself from people who actually, I think, were friends with her and did. We're trying to sort of have her back. I mean, it's hard to say with this group how. What. What's the line between I want to have her back versus I want to have a good scene for tv. But it's just sad if you see this all the time. And she'd be isolated up there in Santa Clarita, and it'll just be her and her church friends and that's it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, well, I mean, welcome to choice making. You know, have fun with that. Have fun with that bed you. You made. At this point, I don't even care because normally I. I'm of that mindset. Like, you know, I feel bad for Nia, this, and blah, blah, blah. But it's starting to. It's, you know, with her blaming everybody else and, you know, like, pushing Danny and then being like, oh, no, why is Danny upset? I'm getting just enough of both of you, you know, and none of these people are your friends. But who's. Who are you a friend to of all of these people? You guys aren't great friends either, you know, and this whole, like, going to Santa Clarita, you're not going to see anybody. So just go. Just go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Go home. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think the. The big, like, not shocking moment, but the moment where I was just shaking my head last week was when Danny was getting angry at that table, you know, you know, talking to Lala. And then Nia came around and like, sort of clasped him by the shoulders and swung her head in front of his and was like, daniel, Daniel, can you look at me? Can you look at your wife? Can you look at your wife?

[Ronnie Caram]

Can you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can you pay attention to what your wife is saying? Ah, but they're all being mean to me. Can you Focus on your wife, Daniel. Daniel. I was like, oh, God, it's your wife, Daniel.

[Ronnie Caram]

I was like, he's not in a coma. Why are you, like, come towards the light, Daniel. It's me. I'm standing here at heaven's door.

[Ben Mandelker]

She sounded like someone in the Sound, like Liv Tyler and Armageddon trying to reach Bruce Willis.

[Ronnie Caram]

Daniel.

[Ben Mandelker]

Daniel, be safe up there.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, they're just that couple that's trying to project perfection, you know, Like, I'm the man. I. I make the money, and my wife stays home with the babies and keeps popping them out. We go to church, and we're perfect. You know, we're perfect little people. So it's starting to crack. And he was like, oh, my God, Daniel.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hey, you know what? Maybe it's a good technique. I think next time you get really angry at someone on this podcast, I'll be like, ronnie, Ron, can you look at me? Can you look at your podcast wife? Look at your wife.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's me. Look at your wife.

[Ben Mandelker]

We'll just wait for the next Janet scene.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then that'll be our. That'll be our code word when we're out and I'm acting up like I've had a couple of drinks. Ronnie, look at your wife.

[Hannah Berner]

Look at.

[Ronnie Caram]

Look at your life, like someone fighting with some dummy in a bar. All right, that's our. That's our forever code word. So they're talking about how crazy it is that everybody's just always attacking poor Daniel. P.S. nobody attacked Daniel. He just started being belligerent and yelling at everybody for literally no reason at that party. Oh, by the way, we didn't. We didn't. I wasn't here to talk about Zach Tang taking all the whole cast of straight people to the gay bar and then having them dress like they're at a gay rave for his party. Zach, the gay God is the one who hit you in the head with that sign. Stop doing it. Don't do that. That is the last thing the gays need, especially in Mexico. Like, they don't need a bunch of American straight people coming in and grinding. And then all the straight guys go up there and take off their shirts and start, like, grinding on the platform.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, you almost got decapitated for your sins against the culture right there. That was. There was. We did cop Ray and I think did talk about, like, this is the worst. When a bunch of straight people come into the gay bar and then start grinding around, and then Britney is sitting there at the bar showing off pictures of, like, her baby to The. To the bartender. And he's. I don't care. Like, he likes me. I think he really likes me. Hey, back to me. Okay? It's my birthday the day after, a few days, and I get to still talk. Okay. Show our marriage. I mean, I know that it's. You know, I know it's always going to be good and that strong, but this target attack Danny train is stressful because we're a team, and we have. We like to have fun, we like our friends, we love our friends, and we love each other. God, don't attack poor little daddy.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And then we see tons of piles of clothes all over their bedroom. And she's like, oh, my God. Cleaning closet explosion. And unpacking and repacking explosion. How am I gonna. How am I going to. My first time ever judging Miss USA Daniel? And he's like, well, this is what you do. You just go through dresses, and that's a woman for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sheesh. I'm a question of why. What for you. Why. Why does he have to get his vasectomy this weekend? Do you think it's just, like, a production thing?

[Ronnie Caram]

It's idiotic. He's like, my wife won't be here. I'm a man who is taking care of my woman, and without my woman here, how am I gonna be taken care of? Why are you scheduling it that way? What are you, an idiot?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Schedule it a week later. It's like the. The vasectomy, guys. Like, we can only do one day. We are only going to shave your. What do you call that part between your nuts and your butt?

[Ben Mandelker]

Not scrotum. I mean, the taint.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. We can only paint, shave once every six months, and if you're not here, then that's it. Also, why didn't they tell him to shave his taint before he went in there? I know what some nurse did. Shaving my taint. That's so weird.

[Ben Mandelker]

I felt bad for the nurse that she had to go in there and.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, what nurse who goes into health care for that? I mean, I get. Sometimes you have to. In an emergency situation and stuff, and God bless you for doing it, but don't put healthc care workers through that. They've got. They go through enough.

[Ben Mandelker]

I have to imagine that there was. This was just like a production. Production thing. Production was like, we'll pay for your vasectomy if you do it on this day. And of course, they probably knew that Neo would be out of town. They knew this Would be a stressor. Like, I had. Like, it does not make any sense. Regardless of Danny being a man baby, if you do have, like three kids and one. One parent is out of town and you don't have any of help coming in, it does seem a bit crazy, honestly, to be having surgery and also having to take care of these kids. Like, even Danny. I'm gonna give them a pass on that one. So, like, it's weird that that guy get.

[Ronnie Caram]

And also, I don't think production's gonna pay for a vasectomy. I just. Production is so cheap.

[Ben Mandelker]

Why do they. Why were they so determined?

[Ronnie Caram]

Maybe.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maybe it was like that the next available date would have been out, like, after production wrapped. I just don't understand.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I. It's stupid. And if they are doing it for the show, why, like, what kind of plot is that? Like, whack. I guess they're gonna do, like the Mr. Mom thing. I put too much laundry detergent in and now it's overflowing into the house or something like that. They'll try and pull a Mr. Mom thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So. Yeah. But Danny is, like, very upset because he likes to be taken care of. So he's just. He's gonna have a little party the night before. That's gonna be like a goodbye. By the way, they. He does have child care coming in. NIA does arrange for child care to come in from 7 to 7. So, like, that is all being taken care of. But I just still don't understand why they put themselves in this situation. I would move that surgery. I feel like there's probably a bunch of slots available, right? I mean, that's a pretty common short surgery. It's not that intensive anyway. I can't question these people anymore. They just have their own logic, and none of it makes sense.

[Ronnie Caram]

The ball scheduling is. It's like, why didn't they schedule that ball surgery at a different time? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. You know, one thing I love about summer is how easy everything feels. The days are more relaxed, and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again.

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

That's article.com crappins for $50 off your first purchase of a hundred dollars or more. Then we go to Jasmine and she's going wedding shopping. She's getting her dress at a place called Jackson James. Okay, I don't want to say I'm not someone who believes too much in omens, but if you're getting your wedding dress at a place named after both Jax and James, I think that's not a great sign.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, it's just every Daniel will be up there next time. You know, Jackson James Daniel.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean I believe in, I believe in Jasmine And Melissa. But, like, let's not. Like, let's not. Let's not get our. I mean, next it'll be like, Jackson, James, Amanda, Daniel. I mean, it's really good. Like, let's just stay away from these names with your wedding dress.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. It's like, let's not name our store after just multiple men. That Lisa Vanderpump, you know, forgives after abusive behavior. You know, so Britney's like, how excited

[Ben Mandelker]

are you for this day?

[Ronnie Caram]

Are you? Oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

When chopping.

[Ronnie Caram]

So the mom's sweet, and she's, you know, like, I'm really excited. And we see Jasmine. She's, you know, she imagined being a tiny little girl and shopping with her mom. She's got so many feelings, so many emotions. Now she gets to shop for her dress.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And her mom's been supporting, supportive of her dating Ben and now dating a woman. Now getting married to a woman, all that stuff. And they're looking at dresses, and Zach is like, oh, I'm sure Jasmine probably wants a more understated dress. And, like, I want it all. I want poof. I want huge hair. I want, like, you know, Princess Diana. I'm like, well, you also wanted a monster fridge in your kitchen, so, you know, we're gonna take all this with a grain of salt.

[Ronnie Caram]

I. You know, we love some Zach, but Zach is wearing a denim. Not here, but in his confessional, he's wearing jeans and a denim jacket that are both bedazzled. The jacket and the jeans. Sometimes I feel like some gays are good to ask for help in the taste department, and some aren't. And the monster fridge, gay in the denim and diamonds probably isn't the one that you ask.

[Ben Mandelker]

Not gonna be necessarily his area of expertise. Benny. Benji, sure. But, you know, you just. You just got to know. You got to know who to ask. Yeah. So, you know, Jasmine trying on dresses, and Karen's like, oh, my God, this is the happiest I've ever seen her, you know, and she says that she used to pray for her all the time. And she has a nice little mom monologue, a mama log where she's like, don't give up on love. You never know. You never know when you'll find the right person. And then when you do, you'll know.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And Zach's like, you know, I remember when we were living together, I remember she would get sad because they're doing this whole thing like, God, Jasmine, she just used to be so sad. Do you remember? He's like, yeah, Jasmine oh, my God. Like, yeah, I lived with her. So sad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she was just so sad, you know?

[Ronnie Caram]

But now Jasmine has found love, so she's happy now. But I thought that was sad. I wonder if I will ever find love and people will say that about me. Like, it just used to be so sad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, so you're trying on more dresses. It's a lot of dresses. It's a pretty standard trying on wedding dress scene. And Jasmine saying that she's just. You know, I've just been very overwhelmed about dress shopping. Like, I think I've been putting it off, and I didn't think it was gonna, like, look pretty, but, like, I look really pretty, and, like, you look gorgeous. And they're all just, like, really happy. There's no easy way to say this, but it was a. It was a boring scene.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I was. But, you know, it's like happiness. It's like the part of the story where someone finds love and happiness and contentment. And you're like, okay, well, call me when you're divorcing. Okay, I will. I will watch that. That, you know, like, I wish you the best. I wish you the best over there.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's just. This is just the way that these. These wedding dress scenes go, is that people get sentimental. People cry, they try on different dresses, and then they make proclamations about how they never believed in love, and now it's all coming true. And that's usually the way they go. Sometimes there's a fight if we're lucky, but usually not.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I did like. Well, I mean, Real Housewives of Atlanta. I think that was the best one with Mama Joyce and the aunts and stuff.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was like.

[Ronnie Caram]

That was probably the best one we've ever seen on Bravo. I did like that. The dress lady came over and was like, this is the Game of Thrones collection from our Game of Thrones collection. But really, does Game of Thrones have really not. I mean, Game of Thrones is known for the red wedding, which.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, their weddings are not always great. There was like, the red wedding, and there was also, like, was it the black wedding or the white wedding or the blue wedding? There was another. There was another wedding. They're all bad. No one's ever happy during them.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't want a wedding dress from a time period where they hadn't invented deodorant yet. There was a general rule, you know, so they do that. It's nice. And then they're talking about Daniel getting his vasectomy, and Jasmine's like, wait, he's getting his balls chopped off. They're like, well, his balls ain't getting chopped off. There's just, like, a little thing, like, inside of them.

[Ben Mandelker]

He'll come on, oh, my God, I'm about to pop a stitch. So then we go to Kristen and Luke's house, and they're in the backyard, and Luke is like, mexico was wild, huh? She's like, yeah, I still have ocean water in my ear. He's like, yeah, I think partying for three days in a row, I think I'm too old for that. I'm. I'm still exhausted. That is music to my ears, because there's really only one thing about Mexico I want to talk about, obviously. Well, Jesse really caught me off guard with what he said. And it's like, flashback, because Jesse was the one who's like, so, Kristen, Luke says he doesn't want to get married to you. He actually hates you. He never doesn't like the side of your face, and he wants to move to a different state. So what do you think about that?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yikes. That was another just terrible, awkward scene. And Christian is now doing the thing where she's like, I'm calm, composed. She's kind of doing, I think, a NIA thing here. You know, like, she's trying to model herself on nia. Like, we were going to have a very peaceful, calm relationship about how much we love each other. How can you even do that? I mean, I know you guys have a kid together, so that's probably more incentive to make it work, but. Yee. Kristen. Yikes. So she wants to talk to him about that, and he's like, well, I just, like. I think we see far more marriages, like, fall apart, and people end up hating each other.

[Ben Mandelker]

So what on this show. That's crazy. And she's like, well, I guess I have a bunch of questions in regards to that. You know, you asked me to marry you, which I guess is not a question, it's just a statement. But all that stuff that you said wasn't part of the proposal. I guess he's like, what? It's like. Because, like, you weren't like, will you marry me? But, like, when things get. But things get hard and now we have a newborn. So, like, what's going on?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And he's like, well, I mean, like, you can't really tell what it's gonna be like when you first propose. And this, like, now we have a baby. Like, it's just harder than I thought when I proposed. And, like, we fight and stuff. So I don't know. I could. I just didn't realize how much I'd be sacrificing before, you know, she got here. Is this your way of trying to make up? Because you just.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is worse. You ask somebody to marry you. So are you taking back. Are you taking it back or not? And then he keeps walking around telling everybody, if this keeps happening, I'm out. And then he tells her, I'm never going anywhere. Why are you upset that I said

[Ben Mandelker]

I would leave, but also, like, just say, yeah, I felt like we're fighting so much that I feel like we need to put some more time, work and effort into this relationship before we. We get our wedding. Put our wedding, you know, actually, like, get to the altar. Because, like, it's important that we are on, like, stable footings before we go into this instead of, like. Well, I mean, I didn't say that. I mean, I did say that. I mean, I'm not going anywhere. I mean, yeah, I don't want to marry you. It's like he. He cannot actually articulate anything in a way that she. Like that she's going to be able to hear and not get upset by.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So she's like, well, I tried to tell you this is just temporary stuff, you know, and maybe it's hard for you to believe because it feels difficult. We're just in the thick of it. And he's like, yeah, we just need to get our footing before we start planning our wedding. But, you know, now we're in therapy and I don't know, I'm just laying. Is all getting wasted in Mexico, complaining about you to everybody. Like, I'm literally sitting crying in a hallway in Mexico waiting for one of your friends to pass to complain about you, too, on camera. Fuck this guy. Don't marry this man. Don't do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

But I guess, like, the good thing, I guess they're, like, happy because they're in. I mean, I thought they were already in therapy, but it seems like now he's having a better attitude about it. I don't know. Because she seems happy that he's in therapy and he's smiling. He's like, I'm in therapy. So I guess this is like, a little bit of a bow on this. I can't quite tell. But we then go over to Lala's house, and she's walking Sosa, who's dressed like a cute little lion, and Lala's brother Easton is there. And then their dog Lily's just lying on the floor so cute. And I was like, oh, I never really appreciated Lala's dog, Lily. And then of course, it turns out to be a sad Lily episode. And I was like, see, they put up the super cute photo image of Lily to get to reel you in. And then Lala tells us that she, she got Lily when she was 20 years old from an animal shelter in Salt Lake. So I'm imagine before Vanderpump rules and she brought the dog to LA and that Lily is like her soul mate and has gone through all the highs and lows that she's gone through. You know, she said that Lily's even been on like private planes, etc. So Lily's been there for her through all of her journeys, through, like, Rand, the loss of her dad. And she's basically saying it's. She has to make a decision about Lily's future. And you're like, I was like, just when the Valley can't get more depressing,

[Ronnie Caram]

I was gonna say, I'm already over with this show. And then it's like a Putting the dog down episode. I can't, I can't. I was like yelling at the tv like, stop, please. So, I mean, I have an old dog and I've been in that situation obviously, and I just, yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't want to watch it on tv, but I had to and it sucked. So then Kristen comes over and they sit down to talk and they're talking about, wow, you know, like, she's like Lala saying, you know, it was wonderful to see you guys the night of Zach's birthday. You guys were so cute on the bus. That was my most favorite night. That was so good. And you know when Lala is starting all positively that it's going to go downhill pretty quick.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. She's trying to give a compliment. Sandwich. And so this is the bread. Yes. And now comes the, comes the other side. Come the other part. So Chris is like, yeah, it was wonderful. That last night was so weird though. Yeah, it was a very chaotic night. And there was like Danny drama.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, not a good drinkers and. Yeah, because like, maybe it's like not drinking and maybe it's just like, I don't know, like reactionary. Like, look, look, I'm just trying to play the devil's advocate right now. I'm like, you are literally being the devil's advocate and it's not helping anyone right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. I thought she said he wasn't drinking. I thought she was like, but he wasn't drinking, so maybe it's just. But she. I guess she said, maybe it's not the drinking. So lala's like, oh, so you think that maybe he's just being a. And she's like, yeah, like, reaction, reactionary. She's like, you know, Kristen, I get that you're playing the devil's advocate, okay? But I'm struggling to understand how you can defend this person's like, have you seen what was happening? Like, the. That comes out of his mouth. Do you want to know what he says to me? Like, why don't you go to your husband? As if that's an insult to me. The way he acts, the way he speaks to women, which, by the way, totally, 100% agree with Lala, which feels. It's been a long time. It's been a long time. But she's right on with all of this. And she's like, you know, the way he speaks to women, including his wife. And then, bro, she blocked me as if she were a lineman in a prairie dress. Chris, that was a good one.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was a good one. That was a good line. Lineman in a prairie dress. So I was like, I mean, what the is this? And I said, straight up, if this is what a husband is, I don't want it. Okay, you can have him. And Kristen's like, for whatever reason, I'm just still not noticing or seeing this. I'm just like, in my bubble. Yeah, I mean, you are. Because, like, it's. It's just so blatantly obvious. The fact that Kristen, none of this is landing on her radar and she is right there and she's not seeing any of it is like, that's. That's not a good quality. Like, you have to be able to see this. But then again, she also was like, besties would like, Stasi and Katie for years and years. So she's kind of, like, immune to bad behavior and also a participant of.

[Ronnie Caram]

She sees it. She does not care. You know, she does not care because she sees it. I think lala called it when she was like, those aren't your friends. Those your allies. You know, she's. You're. You're seeing them as people who are standing against Janet with you. And that right now that.

[Ben Mandelker]

That.

[Ronnie Caram]

That. That's all that matters to her. She sees that Danny's acting like this. She just doesn't care. And it's typical. It's kind of typical Kristen. I mean, Kristen's always been toxic. You know, she had a good year here the first Year because she hadn't been on for a while. She was really nice to Ariana. After Scandival, which we saw in Vanderpump Rules, that was, like, the first time we had seen Kristen and her new hippie, like, I'm gonna burn some crystals for you, or whatever she was doing then. And then she came on here and they immediately we're getting on her. And it was good to see Kristen back, kind of yelling at people at parties and, you know, and as viewers, I think we're kind of toxic too, because we're like, oh, my God, Chris is back. And it's so fun. But let's not forget Kristen has always been toxic and she's always stood up for horrible men.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, she has. So she's Lala's like, look, I don't want you to think that I'm disgusting, dismissing what you're going through. I think having a baby is no joke. And I can't imagine having to try to keep, like, a relationship stable on top of that and dealing with postpartums. But also, like, you should hang out with your girls, even for, like, 45 minutes. And by the way, I'm celebrating seven years of sobriety, and I'm having a girls night, so you should come out for girls night. Okay. And so she's like, yeah, okay, I'll go to that. So that was her compliment sandwich, which is like, hey, it was so fun going out to the gay bars with you. You are being ignorant right now. And how do you not know that Danny is awful and let's have so much fun together at the celebration of my sobriety night. Okay?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So now we go over to Michelle, and she's with her dad, and they are watering a plant that her mom got her. So that's really sweet. And he's telling Isabel, like, you have to water this, you know, and next time I come, we'll make more plants. And so that's a cute scene. And then we go to Santa Clarita. Money, Money. Chicks and money. Money everywhere. Money falling out my pockets. Money. My Santa Clarita. And Danny in the. His house.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. So it's the balls voyage party is the night before his vasectomy. So the guys come over, Jesse and Danny and Tom. And Jesse's like, you know, he gets up to. To Danny's crotch is like, goodbye, my friends. Goodbye. And like, oh, my God, that's hilarious. Tom's like, hey, you know, we're just here to bust your balls. How are you feeling? Get it. That was a Joke. Oh, my God.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Nia's gone doing her stuff, and Danny's like. And I'm like, I've got three kids here. Literally. I was on the verge of tears today.

[Ben Mandelker]

The guy who just wants more and more kids now when he actually has to take care of them is on the verge of tears, and he's like, looking, Look, I like to. I like to be cared for. My wife is my rock a rock that cares you. Have you ever gotten a hug from a rock? You're Sebastian. And I know that she's gonna hit. She's gonna handle what needs to be handled, but she's gonna give me some space that I need to recover. But that is, like, now all taken away from me and the procedures tomorrow. And I'm just like, on an 8 out of 10 on for anxieties, let's not go.

[Ronnie Caram]

My wife is my rock. Is that your other word for maid? Because that's what you sound like. He's like, my wife has gone normal, and she gives me space to go sit and do whatever I need to do while she's taking care of these little. And now it's all taken away from me.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Jesse, you know, Jesse's like, guys, you know you've done something. It's amazing work over the years. Look, you're committed. You got a great life, beautiful children. So I'm sorry to see you go, testicles. But you know what? Story doesn't end here. It grows. It's a new chapter. He's. What did you say?

[Ronnie Caram]

Nothing. I was just gonna cut the Jesse speech short because it really goes on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it goes on, like, a very long time. He's, like, knelt down in front of his crotch. I'm like, wow, this is really. This is. He's. This is a real monologue he's giving.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And then he moves on to what he really wants to talk about, which is mess. He's like, okay, guys, I have some questions. What about Mexico? You had a hard light last night, right, Danny? And he's like, oh, yeah, on my birthday. Great birthday.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, my birthday. And they just came out. Came one after the other. And Jesse's like, well, how do you feel about that? Well, I was so heated. How could she lala over there going.

[Ronnie Caram]

She was waving frantically, making finger guns. And Jesse's like, well, somehow I ended up talking to Janet. And, you know, it's the first time I've ever heard her be vulnerable. And she talked about a past trauma. So, you know, I thought, why haven't you said that from the beginning. Like, why is she then saying, it's because of Jasmine? And this and this. I knew it. Right When Jasmine told that on camera that this cast was going to do that, I knew it. What do you just be like, oh, she's just using that. Which is what they do.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, meaning the guys we're going to say that with.

[Ronnie Caram]

I knew that this cast was going to do that. I knew that the reaction to Janet's story was going to.

[Ben Mandelker]

You said Jasmine, so I was confused.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. No, Janet. Janet opened up about sexual.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, 100. You knew that? Yeah, she just said it beforehand. It's like, that's not the response that you're supposed to have.

[Ronnie Caram]

And then Luke's over there like, oh, wow. Yeah. The fact that she's bringing this up now, pretty much not surprising.

[Ben Mandelker]

Now all of a sudden, all of a sudden it all becomes invalidated because it's, you know, not on their time. Like, I don't think it was. It's like something that someone just is like, oh, hey, well, here it is. Here's. Let me just, like, put my trauma on the table on TV right now. Like, I don't think it's something that is. Is just like they're acting like, oh, you should, like, mention it. Just like, as if you should mention that you got a coffee this morning. Like, well, why didn't you tell us you got a coffee? It's like, it's not really as simple as that.

[Ronnie Caram]

We. So Danny's like, well, you know, like she's talking about the enclosed space or the pantry or whatever. And let me just preface this again. Preface this again. Was saying me shutting the door. It was a close type position. It was a big pantry. And she also said, oh, he was chugging the bottle, or, oh, no, then he just had a ship of the bottle. I mean, her story just changes over and over. You know, just shut up. The thing to do right now is just call Janet and say, janet, I had not heard about this. I had no idea that this happened to you. I'm sorry that what was going on with me, that the stuff that I did triggered you because of this thing you were going through. I had no idea. Can we just start over? Like, why is that so difficult? But someone comes to you with a story like that and the first thing these guys do, or it's like, no, I don't believe. Seems pretty typical.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's like. And yeah, Danny being like, well, our story's changing over and over. It's like, no, actually, your story is the one that seems to change over and over again. It doesn't matter either way. You should still, like, like, show some grace in this moment. Be like, oh, so that's why this really was a situation. But, you know, he's anti trigger unless it applies to him. Right? So then, yeah, Lucas, like, and the fact that it changed again two years later is not surprising. Didn't change two years later is that she shed more light on it two years later. And so Danny is like, yeah, you know, when it comes to Janet and her trauma, I just feel bad. I mean, I was unaware of any of that, but I think she's just projecting her own, like. Like her own trauma onto, like, me and using me as a punching bag. And that's just not fair. I'm like, but, like, doesn't it make sense to you now? No, like, doesn't it. Like, doesn't it illuminate certain things for you? Like, how do you not understand this?

[Ronnie Caram]

Because he's a idiot who only thinks about himself. It's funny how someone who, you know, is so against. Triggered. Was triggered basically, for the past two episodes that we saw in a row and throwing a temper tantrum in the back of the bus and lying down, not letting anybody else sit on the bus because he's upset. But he's the one who's like, everybody's triggered. And Tom was like, whoa, whoa. You know, like, you should respect, not diminish someone's feelings. I mean, I'll never really begin to understand PTSD and stuff you went through, but, you know, when you react and match their energy, it just. Just confirms their biases and corroborates the way they already feel, which is a very subtle way of being like, stop acting like an on tv. You are only doing yourself. He's like, did you just hear the storyline that was brought out? Like, the piece of information that was just brought out? Now you're gonna say this. Oh, my God. Tom's just like, oh, God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, it was like a moment of, like, clarity. Not clarity, but like, you know, Tom Schwartz, who know. Who offers very little to the show and has no seemingly. There's no, like, emotional intelligence seemingly on display there suddenly comes out with this really very articulate and accurate assessment. I was like, where did this come from? Because he's right.

[Ronnie Caram]

I mean, like, it's come from a decade of being on tv. This guy knows. He's been in the. You know, he's been in the blogs for years about how he's Talked to his wife, and you know how he's reacted to things. So a lot of this, it's like, is it emotional intelligence or is it just, you know, media training? Because he's been through all this before because, you know, it's like, he's like, dude, seriously, this is your reaction on national tv, like, how stupid are you?

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, it's really bad when Jesse is telling Luke and he said he addresses Luke and. And Danny, and he's like, guys, like, settle down. If Jesse is like, guys, be a little. Be a little nicer to a woman right now. Like, if Jesse's saying that, you know, you're really, like, you've gone too far.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. He's telling Luke. He's like, you know, I mean, if Janet comes up with this feeling that she has from a past trauma, like, don't get defensive. You know, don't get defensive, Luke, because Luke's over there. Like, oh, yeah, what a rich story. Of course Janet comes up with something like this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. But also, let's not give Jesse too much credit. We all know that was what Lacey told Jesse. You know, Lacey was like. Was like, jesse, you better say this on camera, because I'm not gonna have you on camera saying any about this situation. Okay. And you better tell your. Your friends how to act also, because. Well, I think Tom guarantee this was Lacey's. Lacey's.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's true. And I think that also, Tom putting it in that way made Jesse change. Because Jesse started this off. When he started telling the story was like, like, well, then why didn't she say that from the beginning? Like, why was she saying it's because of Jasmine or this and this? You know, so he kind of started off with that attitude too. But then when Luke and Danny went, you know, you know, gave their reactions, and Tom was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jesse's like, yeah, yeah, be respectful, Luke. Don't get defensive. Jesse's a flip flopper. You know, Jesse really gets off easy this season.

[Ben Mandelker]

Does he? Really does. Well, you know, he. I'm sure he'll have a moment maybe next season. Tom is basically, like, he's basically. Danny and Luke are. Are so quick to dismiss Janice trauma, but we don't even really know what it's about. And I just feel like in these moments, it's just a nice time to just shut up and listen and, you know. So let's bring it back. Okay. This is a beautiful day, beautiful moment. We're here to celebrate you, Danny, and your testicles.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh. So, yeah. So then we go to the ball scene, the vasectomy scene. So we go to Dr. Turek's office and the reception. Zach is with Danny and the receptionist, like, okay, we've got your id. We'll just bring you straight back to the exam room. And he's like, I wore all black. Throw a prayer out for your boy and pour out some for the homies. And she just does not smile. It's actually, yeah, know your audience.

[Ben Mandelker]

Zach is like, I'm sorry they made me come here with him, but this is. These views do not look like me. So then Danny is like, knowing how important this was for nia, I'm absolutely 100 glad that I did this. I think it takes a lot of pressure off of Nia. And we're so blessed. We're so happy. It feels complete. So kudos to this guy. So he is complimenting himself. He is.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's giving himself a big old pat on the back for. For. For, like, honoring one request of Nia's.

[Ronnie Caram]

And this absolutely does not take pressure off of Nia because it adds pressure to Nia because all you're going to do is pester her for sex every five minutes of the day because you got this thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so I. I snip my balls for you, and you can't do this for me. That's what it's gonna be like the rest of their lives.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So he goes in, and the nurse, Valerie, has to shave a staint, as we know. And then we go. Which, you know, I was yelling at the tv, Shave your taint at home. You know, I just feel like that's something that every boy should learn.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do get. Get a waxing session maybe. But they shave him, and then they. They put him on nitrous, and he's. He's really impossibly more annoying on nitrous. Like, most of the time, I would think that, like, I thought he would just sort of be chill and be like. But instead, he's, like, singing country music,

[Ronnie Caram]

and he's just being like, oh, I found that.

[Ben Mandelker]

God, I was. Weren't we all so happy when he said, oh, I felt that. I was like, yes, justice. Justice for all of us.

[Ronnie Caram]

Let's go. Let's go. The doctor's like, well, normally we play some jazz or something he likes. Oh, my God. Sometimes just put them out, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. Please. Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

One thing my mom loves is to bargain hunt. She will go to a garage sale, to a flea market, any old sale at the mall. I'm taking her from sale to sale to sale to sale and I finally found someplace online that I can just park her and she'll have the time of her life. And that is Whatnot.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whatnot is an app that does live shopping. There's a whole community there on Whatnot. You're connecting with sellers and other shoppers and it's kind of like hanging out with a group that gets you and this is like a really fun way to shop.

[Ronnie Caram]

You never pay full price. Sarah, you can shop name brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry and more, all without the sticker shock. It's the best place to find great deals on products you love.

[Ben Mandelker]

And there are amazing sellers with great great taste and they're going live all the time, like 24 7. You can comment in real time and they'll just show you like close up of clothes. You'll be like, hey, can I get, Can I see that a little bit closer? I want to see that detail on that shirt. And they will show it to you

[Ronnie Caram]

because it's real time and you can sell too. Do you have clothes, bags or accessories sitting in your closet that you don't reach for anymore? Whatnot makes it easy to turn them into cash. Connect with shoppers who share your your style and have fun going live while doing it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's amazing what you can find on there. I literally just purchased a mid century modern Dansk yellow paella pan for $35 and I've seen it listed elsewhere on the Internet for $80. It was a bargain.

[Ronnie Caram]

Download whatnot today and get $20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Search whatnot W h a t N o t in the App Store, sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with $20 off and free shipping on your first purchase.

[Hannah Berner]

This is Hannah Berner, the co host of Giggly Squad. We could all just stay in bed scrolling through other people's vacations forever. But where is the fun in that? The best memories come from stepping outside of your little bubble and being open to the unexpected. And what better way to be open to the unexpected than finally booking that trip to Europe. You guys know I'm a Delta girly. Every time I go, I got my Delta headphones. And when I fly to Europe, Delta treats me like a queen. And they'll treat you too. I was always a little nervous about navigating a foreign country. But then I realized it's so important to grow and see different cultures and to put yourself in different situations. And Delta held My hand the whole time. Being away just helps you put life into perspective. And your little worries are not so bad. Travel really is the best way to discover something new about yourself and grow from the experience. Step outside your comfort zone this summer. Get some Delta headphones and fly with Delta airlines. They truly are the best way to get to Europe. And they just make the whole journey feel so comfortable and seamless. Go book your next chapter right [e-mail]

[Ben Mandelker]

now it's time for girls night and girls night.

[Ronnie Caram]

Girls night on the Valley. It's a sober night with Lala while she's crying that she just put down her dog right before this thing. What the hell? The hell kind of girls night is this? I'm really sorry about your dog. And I really am sorry about your dog because God knows when I'm going to have to go through that soonish. And I've lived it and I would not wish that upon anybody. Do not invite me to girls night right after you do it. Please. Yeah, yeah, let me come to you and bring some pizza or something. I'll support you. But don't call it girls night. Make me get all dressed up.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. That was so sad. So she sort of gives like a little eulogy for. For Lily. And. And then she talks about how, you know, getting to seven years of sobriety is really hard. And Lily gave her life for her to have life. It's all very actually quite lovely. And then now it's like, let's talk, you know, so Lala's like my favorite part of Mexico. And I'm not even joking. Zach was your birthday and I know it's a for you, but it was so good. And Michelle's like, it was so fun. Look at me still smiling ear to ear from all the fun I had at Bar of Gay.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Zach's like, oh, it's great for me too. I'm not going to lie. I was like buzzed enough. And that I was fine with that. Like, I didn't even mind getting knocked on the head.

[Ben Mandelker]

I still think that's also shocking. Like, I feel like he, he, he could have been decapitated. Like, I think it's crazy that injury.

[Ronnie Caram]

You brought up the movie Hereditary yesterday while we were talking about in the City because you were saying Owen from in the city looks like the girl from Hereditary. And that's a hereditary move. That's the. I was like, why was I just thinking of Hereditary? Because that's what happens to a character in Hereditary. She gets on a double decker bus in Mexico to take a bunch of straight people to a gay bar and a sign knocks her head clean off.

[Ben Mandelker]

Toni Collette is like, let's go. Yeah, I haven't seen Hereditary, but I do know about. I do know about that. No, I know. I know. I knew about it already because I'd already, like, read the plot description because I was fascinated.

[Ronnie Caram]

Disturbing ass movie.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ronnie Caram]

But, yeah, that's what I thought when I first saw that sign hitting Zacks. And that's terrible, you know, to, like, I wouldn't be laughing if something really bad happened to Zach, but when that sign smacked him, I was like, oh, my God, it's the hereditary girl. Boom. Rolling on the ground.

[Ben Mandelker]

Doesn't the hereditary girl also make weird clicking noises or something? Like something.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't remember. I don't remember that part. I just remember that movie was extremely disturbing. And I remember that part of getting knocked with a sign on a double decker bus on the way to a gay bar. So they, you know, they're just making small talk, and Zach's like, oh, my God. When that happened, I was like, should we FaceTime my hair stylist? Like, I was like, can you please just, like, you know, like, you guys can't even see it. Can you. Can you see. Can you see the. The cut?

[Ben Mandelker]

Which shockingly, you really can't. Like, that hair does grow in fast and thick. It's really impressive. So. So then Lala is like. Also, I just want to say another thing that I love that was rooming with the girls because, like, we did have, like, the best time. And, Jan, it's like, yeah. And I did feel like all of us came together and, like, had, like, a nice, like, end of the trip, you know? And, like, Michelle, I was happy that you and Lacey got along. And after the trip, I was like, I can't lie. I was like, I like her. And even, like, at the airport, we were, like, joking around and all of us were, like, eating a bubblegum shrimp. And, like, Lacey and I started following each other at the table. And then Zach and I had a thing, and, like, we followed each other for, like, five minutes. So, like, like, I guess I'm part of the group again now, right, guys?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, Janice. Well, I mean, we followed each other for five minutes, I guess. I mean, I don't know. They're like, oh, yeah, Zach, so what's up? You unfollowed. You unfollowed Janet right after the airport, and we're like, oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, you unfollowed. Why'd you do that.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Lola's, like, at the airport on the way home, they had a funny and friendly banter, and Schwartz is like, let's flip a coin. And then if it lies on head, since you will have to follow Janet. And he's like, yeah, but, like, you could see that I was uncomfortable. You know, I was visibly like, janet, we are not there yet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay?

[Ronnie Caram]

Not. I mean, following doesn't even really matter, but I just, like, didn't feel, like, really comfortable. And then it takes him, like, an hour to make excuses about why he unfollowed Janet.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's going on and on, and he's like. I mean, like, I was just, like, it was very, like, visibly uncomfortable, and, like, it's just too much, you know? And, like, I've always wanted to move forward with Janet, but, like. Like, do I think that she's, like, put up multiple roadblocks to move forward? Like, yes. And, like, so she's like, maybe taking that bestie to, like, the next level. Like, girl, let's calm down. So Michelle's like, I love you, but it's piety. Like, you shouldn't have followed her right then and there if you weren't ready to do it. She's like, but I lost a bet. Like, you always have to utter a bet, even with Tom Schwartz. It's like, yes, but you seem to have more fun when it's just you and Janet and no one else is around. And then when other people are around, then, and things seem to be a little different.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, Janice. Like, but we were sharing fried shrimp.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was a sacred moment.

[Ronnie Caram]

I just don't get it. So she's like. I mean, there's been times where we've been out with. Without others, Zach, you know, And Kristen's like, okay, okay. Well, like, he does have fun moments with her. And I would like to make this very clear. I texted both of them, and I said, if you guys become friends with Janet again, you can rekindle your own friendships that you had. But our friendship does not change. And I don't want that for myself. Okay? I do not want that. But you guys can do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because Brittany basically is like, I think you mean if Kristen or Dana or they are there, then. Then that's not gonna be nice to Janet. So that. That's where Kristen's like, no, no, I never said that he can't be friends with Janet. Yada yada.

[Ronnie Caram]

But he literally has acted that way, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, on the.

[Ronnie Caram]

On that bus in San Diego, the other most miserable trip Got this trip. This ca. Miserable trips. My God.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Kristen. This has been Kristen's, like, game plan since we very first met her back in 2012 or so. Like, well, if you're gonna be friends with them, if you're be friends with her, then you can't be friends with me.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. Make your choice. And we saw on the bus in San Diego when Zach, when Janet was really going over the top trying to be friends with Zach, and he was laughing with her, and Kristen's like, oh,

[Ben Mandelker]

with John.

[Ronnie Caram]

So I did like this, though, because Lala says, listen, I do have a legitimate questions for you. Christense, look, at what point do we just acknowledge that no matter what Janet does for you, she can do no right? Because the things happened in the past, like, why are you holding on to it? Like someone. At some point, you have to allow someone to evolve from their mistakes. And I like that Kristen was just like, yeah, I don't. I don't trust you. You. I don't like you. You know, I. I wish people could just say that on these shows. It's not even at this point. It's not some deep thing. Kristen and Janet used to be real friends in real life beyond this show, like besties, beyond this show. And Kristen's like, I just don't like you anymore. And I think, you know, sometimes that's just all the answer you need. You know, no is a. Is a full sentence.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, reality TV is.

[Ronnie Caram]

Is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is always funny because it forces people to still interact long beyond their friendship has curdled. And like, in real life, if you just don't like someone anymore, you just stop hanging out with them. You just don't see them anymore. And that's just. That's just it. But reality tv, you have to still do social events that you would normally do with your friends over and over and over again. And so you wind up in these situations where it's like there's like a cognitive dissonance of, like, we are hanging out, but we're not getting along, and so we have to find a way to get along.

[Ronnie Caram]

Wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Janet is like, but why? Why? And she's like, well, you like to hurt people and you want to be mean to people. And that's not someone I was ever friends with. I'm like, you were best friends with Stassi and Katie. Do you not remember anything from Vanderpump Rules?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, but

[Ben Mandelker]

what can you say?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, just say, I don't like her. I don't like you. So she's like, if the version of Janet existed that I was. Was friends with back in the day, I'd be friends with her. But, you know, when people show you who they are, you supposed to believe them. I love. I like that she brought up a little Maya Angelou. She's like, really? You want to fight with Maya Angelou?

[Ben Mandelker]

Call Maya Angelou's. Like, well, thank you for using one of my most famous lines. I was not expecting it to be a pivotal defense on the Valley, but sure.

[Ronnie Caram]

And also, I mean, you're with Luke. You know what I mean? He showed you who his ass is multiple times. So you know what?

[Ben Mandelker]

One thing that has to also be kind of acknowledged is that the people who hate Janet the most also are in the worst relationships. And so I have to imagine there's like, you know, for as much as Danny was saying that Janet went through trauma and is taking it out on him and he's like a punching bag, I can't help but think that also Kristen and. And. And Nia are taking.

[Ronnie Caram]

Not.

[Ben Mandelker]

It seems. I would not be surprised if they're also taking out their frustrations in their relationships on Janet as well. I'm not saying Janet is innocent in a situation, but, like, it is kind of funny that they are in the two worst relationships on the show and they are both, you know, furious at Janet because Janet has sort of called them both out for certain things, etc, but, you know, that parallel is there as well. And so what's, you know, it's. I guess what's interesting to me is that Danny is almost complaining that he's being used as a punching bag when his wife and as well as Kristen are kind of using Jan as a punching bag as well.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, that's true. I wonder if that does, you know, by the way, to do with it like they're being frustrated with your partner at home, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Meaning that they're. They're. People are unhappy, and when you're unhappy, it's like they don't want to take it out on. Well, Kristen's an interesting situation because she actually does take it out on Luke as well. I think everything becomes a punching bag around Kristen. But. But like, I think with Nia especially, she doesn't want to turn her unhappiness back on Danny because she wants to preserve her household. So she is going to take it out on the person that she sees as the one that's causing this unhappiness, which is. It's Danny, but she's gonna say it's Janet.

[Ronnie Caram]

I think. I think Nia's upset because it's, it's cracking their perfect relationship 100 thing where they're, they look perfect and like this sweet little thing and this person is coming in here and, and saying all this stuff that Danny did, you know, and then the way she just kept harping on it and this and that made Nia like, well, why, why are you still talking about it? Why are you, you, why are you talking about. So they just want to separate it. And Kristen's very much from the Nia school. She even said it on the show where like they, that's the model relationship because they don't take it out on each other in public. They do everything in private and that's how it should be. And so she's kind of learning from them and trying. I mean, Kristen's not very practiced at making a perfect looking relationship, but she said that that's her goal. And so I think that's why Nia's just like done with it, you know. And then the stuff when Janet was sitting her down like, oh, and if you're, or Janet when she's like, well, you know, I was with someone with drug and alcohol problems and if you need help with that. So I think that Nia's just like, no, this girl. And Kristen is gonna stay with her and they're gonna try and ice Janet out of the show. But you can't really do that when half the cast is still team Janet. Like she still is half the cast. So yeah, it's not working, you know, and we shows, these shows struggle when there's two teams of people who refuse, you know, and they're just not entertaining enough to pull it off. Like Jersey, I mean, Jersey was hilarious. I thought when they did it their last season I thought was really funny. It was toxic, but it was at least still funny. Whereas these people really can't pull that off. And so they keep having the fight of why don't you like Janet? I just don't like Janet. That's it. You know, but like you said, it's reality TV and they just got to keep, they just got to figure out together.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Janet is like, what have I done to you and Chris? Like, well, you treat people shitty. And la's like, but you can't say that. You can't say that because I just told you how Danny treated me and you said that's not your experience. And Kristen's like, I don't need to be pushed into doing anything. Jan's like, well, you, you know, you don't have to be pushed into doing anything. And Jasmine is, like, saying how she was struggling with this group. And her therapist, Jasmine just has like this rob rock and it's like her worry stone. So she hands it to, like, I think she hands it to Janet or somewhere. Lala. I don't know. But she basically says she has a rock that she rubs when she's anxious.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's a worry stone. Yeah. And then we see her when. When they were at that party outside and she was. And Kristen was like, don't talk. Don't talk right now. And we see it like, ding. It's like worry stone holding it, like up against her face, like, yeah. Really using that worry. Really using that worry stone. So Janet's like, I mean, as long as you guys realize this is why the group is shattered. I'm trying. And Kristen's like, well, my group isn't shattered. And, you know, Michelle's like, but this group is shattered. Absolutely. So Janet's like, well, you know, that's for the time being, I guess. Well, that's just how it's going to be then. Janice has been pretty good this season. You know, the whole season about being like, okay, I'm going to turn this around. You know, I'm sick of being the villain on this show and I'm just going to go eat to every single person. And the stuff that's been happening with Danny has been his own doing. He's the one who keeps going around bringing it up. So it's weird to even stand, you know, up for Janet because I find her highly annoying as well. I would just be like, I don't. Like, we're not compatible. Bye. You know, but she's been pretty good at just eating and making everybody else look stupid. And Janet has not been on TV for a decade, but she's been around people who are on TV for a decade and, you know, they're up against a more formidable opponent. And I find it very. Than they think. And I find it pretty funny that Janet is going to outlast Nia and Danny because I don't. They're not coming back next year, right? I can't imagine.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think they're back. I think they're going to come back.

[Ronnie Caram]

You do?

[Ben Mandelker]

What else are they gonna. Yeah, I 100 think they're gonna come back. I think they'll be back. What else are they gonna do?

[Ronnie Caram]

God. Or. You don't know. I mean, quit or.

[Ben Mandelker]

If they don't come back, then they're. I don't think they'll be fired. I think they'll come back because you know what? Like, Danny is a villain and he's obnoxious and terrible, but he's.

[Hannah Berner]

He.

[Ben Mandelker]

He hasn't. He hasn't crossed any Bravo lines. I think, like, he's just sort of being a villain. He's being a villain. He doesn't realize as being a villain, which is why he's such a good villain, because he actually thinks he's totally in the right. So I think he'll be back and I think they'll do an apology to where he'd be like, I've grown. I was in a bad season of my life and watching it back, it was difficult, but I was nervous about things. I feel bad. I think, like, they. What's their paycheck? They have no paycheck beyond this, so they will make it work.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, he does Walking Dead voice over. I mean, he does voiceover work and stuff. I don't know. You know, I don't know what the pay is on that. But that. I don't. I don't. I wouldn't imagine it's a lot on this show either.

[Ben Mandelker]

True. But I think the explosion still has

[Ronnie Caram]

the same hood that we saw in the first season.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, update on that. Update on that. So I was on. I was on. I was on Jeff Lewis this week with Janet, and I confronted her about her LWH hanging hood. And I was like, what's the deal?

[Ronnie Caram]

You did?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it was actually. We forgot to bring it up on the show, but I was. We were in the elevator together and I was like, janet, what's the deal with that low hanging hood? She goes, oh, my God. God. Jason hits his head on it. Every single day is the worst. I was like, I hate it. Can you fix it? Can you get a different one? She's like, oh, I want to. So it made me happy to know that she also hates that hood. And like, that. They didn't actually intentionally. I'm just glad they're not embracing that terrible low hanging hood.

[Ronnie Caram]

They didn't intentionally do it. No. They came with their house, but still that. I'm just saying it's the same hood. You know what I mean? I don't think this cast. It's not like a Real Housewives show where if you do well the first season, they're like, okay, here's a lot more money. Go get a bigger house or something, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Can I tell you something, by the way? This is nothing to do with the show, but it does. Has everything to do with stove oven things, which is that yesterday I was. I was boiling something on my stove and I turned the burner off, and then I was like, oh, you know what? I think I need to do this a little bit longer. I went to turn it back on again. Nothing happened. The entire oven and stove of the entire range died. It's just.

[Ronnie Caram]

It just died.

[Ben Mandelker]

It just died. I was like, you were on a second ago. What happened? Oh, no. Furious. So I've got someone coming in, but, like, has that ever happened to you where your entire range just stops working? Like, no lights, no nothing? It just was like, I'm out, I'm done. That was it. You didn't realize it, but that was a farewell boil. Never.

[Ronnie Caram]

Only when the electricity has gone out and I have gas. I have a gas stove and it still wouldn't turn on. It's like, what the. And then I looked it up and it was like, you must have electricity to start this. Isn't that crazy. Yeah, it's a gas range.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I looked it up. I was like, one thing you can do is you can do that. You can look for this or that. I was like, no, I'm. I can't do any of this stuff. So I've got, like, I've got a guy coming in. He said either today or Monday is the window he gave me, which is really helpful.

[Ronnie Caram]

And.

[Ben Mandelker]

But I feel. I feel like, really angry at my stove. I feel like there should have been, like, warning signs, like weird noises happening or weird like, oh, it's taking longer to turn this on. Like, I feel like I should have seen that this was coming, but, like, you were just on and fully functional three seconds ago.

[Ronnie Caram]

I think it's really going to show the power of Janet. I mean, you came, you went, you met Janet, you told Janet you're going to be friends now. Then you go on an elevator and tell her about her hood. And then guess what happens? Your stove is out.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yep.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

She actually really likes her own low hanging hood. And she, like, lulled me into a state of complacency. Like, oh, good. I'm glad she. I'm glad she finally acknowledges that her hood is terrible. And then she's like, I know he'll say that on his recap and the audience will think that I'm on their side about the hood, but secretly she's actually very pro low hanging hood and has cursed my oven.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, pretty much you yourself on that one.

[Ben Mandelker]

I did.

[Ronnie Caram]

So now it's Jasmine and Melissa's engagement party and Brittany's like, I'm so excited about tonight.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm a party planner.

[Ronnie Caram]

I love buying a party. So is that Britney's thing now that she's going to be a party planner? Because they're really hammering that in this year.

[Ben Mandelker]

It does seem like they are. Yeah, they're peppering that in. It's, you know, she. They're. It's in there.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, congratulations to all the local chicken fingers vendors because you. Your business is about to go through the roof.

[Ben Mandelker]

Raising canes is about to be raised itself because they're gonna get a lot of orders. So people are showing up at this. At this party. We see Jeremy Maddox and Ali Luber, some. Some holdovers from Vanderpump Rules. And then people show up. I saw our. I saw Rachel Lindsay in the background. Did you see Rachel back there? She was chatting around. And so people show up, up. And then Lala is like, you know, what's so wild, you guys? Anytime I go to anything where, like, there's like, a straight couple, like a straight man and a straight woman celebrating loves, I'm always like, this is gonna end at some points. But, like, when it's like. But for this, like, I feel like it's gonna be like, the forever things. I'm like, lesbians, you know, Lesbians.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's what she's saying. It's like, yeah, love the Lala hetero representation. It's like, yeah, straight people don't last, but those lesbians, they're U hauls. So they're like, yeah, they're gonna make it. What a cute couple. And Lala's like, thanks for last night. I was in such a funk. And Michelle says, I do not like being in the corner. And Zach dogging for 30 minutes. I don't even understand his boy. We just see a clip of Zach like, yeah, because, like, I couldn't really be your friend. Because, like, that's not, like, really true to me in that moment in the airport and, like, you know, like, flipping a coin, like, it's like, totally different. I just, like, couldn't commit at that moment.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they just showed the funniest shot of, while he's going on of, like, Michelle and she's just sitting there. That look on her face where her, like, teeth are sort of sticking out over her lower lip. She's like. And she's looking left and right and left and right and down and left and right. I was like, when is this going to stop?

[Ronnie Caram]

So Lala's like, I have yet to get an answer from Kristen or Zach that makes sense about what you have done to them personally to make them so mad beyond the point of forgiveness. Janet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Janet's like, well, you know what? I've tried. I've given it all. Given it, you know, my all. Both, you know, because I want peace, and because I want. I want peace when we're all together. And I've done everything. I feel like I can. I can try to get that at this point, I'm just like, I just have to let it be. So this is also very true to Janet because she's like, you know, she's the one who's trying here, and they're. They're not. They're not doing. They're not moving forward, so. Oh, well, you know. So this. This makes her look like the more mature one of the group. And so then Jasmine Melissa arrive, and Brittany's like, welcome, LeBron. And she has, like, a little basket of chicken. Chicken wings that she's just, like, throwing, like, rose petals. And then

[Ronnie Caram]

they're like little crawfish heads. She's just throwing out of a plastic bag of juice. And so we see Lacy and Kristen chatting, and Lacey's asking about the party, and she's like, I had to look at Janet. Kristen was said this, by the way, not Lacey. She's like, I had to look at Janet. And I was like, listen, I'm just not there yet, Janet. Okay? It's like, well, it's fine. People can, like, coexist together. It's like, what people do.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Kristen's telling Jesse, like, oh, yeah, we had a girls dinner last night. And Jenna was like, what have I done to you in the last year? And I said, I don't trust you. And Lacy's like, yeah, but, like, that's also, like, not really a fair argument, because, like, one could argue then, like, what did Danny do to her? And we've all been listening to it for a year, so.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Jesse's like, that's what I said when we were in Mexico. I was like, what has Danny done to you? And, God, it was so vulnerable. It's the most vulnerable I've ever seen. Janet, she talked about trauma and the door being closed in the pantry and was like. I said, why didn't you just say that all last year? Kristen's like, oh, Danny doesn't even know it. It's not like Janice ever said Danny. Well, here's the thing. You know, I've not heard about any of this, and it's just odd to me that now it's coming out Cook Off.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then there's more group mingling, and Lacy is, like, elsewhere now with Jesse,

[Ronnie Caram]

and she's like, I'm so sorry. It just really bothers me, like, the Christian's reaction, too. Like, just. This is a point for you to just say, I know we don't get along. I heard about what you talked about, and that's, you know, just to be like, ooh, gross. She's just bringing this up now.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's just gross.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's just gross behavior. But sorry, I called it out earlier for the guys, but not Kristen. So. Yeah, make sure we got that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Make sure everyone. Yeah, everyone gets. Gets their comeuppance. So then Lacey is like. She's like, I have the best pickup line. So you go up to a man and you say, what's this material? And then they say, it's, like, cotton or silk. And then I say, if it's Jesse, I say, ew, change it to something nicer. But someone else I'll go. Feels like husband material.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I was gonna say, you say that to Jesse. You don't want him, like, in your house. You're not going to marry Jesse. Get out of here. Is she. Do you think she's gonna marry Jesse?

[Ben Mandelker]

I think she will, actually. They've been together a while. They have a good banter. Like, she puts him in his place. He seems to like it, and he has. She has money, so he's gonna be down for whatever. And I think that she seems to be entertained by him. So, yeah, I think it's gonna happen.

[Ronnie Caram]

Because in the beginning of the season, when he's like, yeah, you know, I could move in. She's like, no. Oh, never.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, they could still be married, but she'll be like, you have to stay up in West Hollywood. Okay, thanks. But we'll still be married. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then we see Ms. Melissa chatting with Michelle, Brittany, and Janet and thank you. Thanking them for coming. Well, I guess that was. Oh, so now we go to Janet and Jesse. Sorry. So Janet's like, why are you sitting all alone? Can I tell you? I just feel so happy to see you and Lacey. God, isn't that weird? I just love you and Lace. Lacey now. Okay, you're laying it on a little

[Ben Mandelker]

thick at this point. This is Janet's thing. Are we going to be friends? Are we gonna be friends? So Jesse is like, yeah, you know, it's such a relief to me that the girls are, like, starting to give her, like, the opportunity, like, you know, because, like, that was my biggest problem with people. It just Was like, you know, you. Like you calling Jason to block Lacy. I. Like, I know you're Michelle's friends, but you're also my friend, even though not been nice to you all season long. So Janet's like, yeah, that was petty of me, and I'm sorry. And, like, my only regret now is not getting to know Lacey sooner. I mean, do you know how. How much fun we could have had in my kitchen having someone who is shorter than the kitchen hood? Finally a real conversation without the threat of violence?

[Ronnie Caram]

And he's like, I. I like what Janet is saying, but can I trust it? Is it real? Do I think it's sincere?

[Hannah Berner]

Nope.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then Lacy comes in, who always

[Ben Mandelker]

has an ulterior motive. Yes, this.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Lacy comes in, and Janice like, oh, I was just telling him how I genuinely enjoyed our time together. Oh, my God. I love you. Now game night. Are you gonna come to game night besties?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And Lacey's like, oh, my God. Wow, this is so nice. You're saying nice things about me. And she's like, yeah, you know, now that I've gotten to know you, I've seen, you know that like. Like, you know that you're awesome. And Lacy's like, yeah, we're like angels from hell or heaven. So Jesse's like, oh, like, I don't think I like this anymore.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Janice, like, you want to plan a double date soon? He's like, whoa, baby steps.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now Britney gets on the microphone, and everyone, I would like to welcome the brides to me. And so here come Melissa and Jasmine. Melissa's wasted. She's like, No, I like the potatoes. Potatoes. Look, I have big. Why they call it twice? Big potato. Why'd you bake it twice? You know what I'm saying?

[Ronnie Caram]

You want to do this? Jasmine's like, okay, okay. Thanks for coming, everybody. Thanks for. Thanks for coming. Thanks, Britney, for doing this. This has been really amazing. I'm. I would like to thank the sponsor that Brittany got, Mountain Dew. Everybody's been enjoying the special Mountain Dew cocktails.

[Ben Mandelker]

Make sure you have some of those Mountain Dew spanic openers. They're really delicious. Don't forget the freedom by y'.

[Hannah Berner]

All.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay? Yep. Thanks. Party planner Brittany. Okay. The fact that you're all here, I mean, it just really shows you guys care about us. So, like, thank you. Zach. Zach, do you want to say something? It's like, oh, my God, we're doing a speech. This is crazy. Okay. Hi, everybody. I just wanted to tell you, like, I did play a coin game. Where, like, I flipped a coin and then I said I would follow Janet, but then I really didn't feel comfortable following Janet. Like, it's too soon. You know what I mean? And, like, you shouldn't be forced to make decisions in an airport. That's, like, crazy. There are things flying above your head. People need to concentrate. I didn't even get to bring liquid through. Like, why do I have to make this decision right now?

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, I'm going to fan myself in that, like, counterintuitive way where I. Where I spread all my fingers apart, but still fan myself. Because, you know, realistically, if you bring your fingers together, you get a better breeze. But whatever, all the fingers would be apart. I'm going to fan myself. I just want to say this year has been very difficult. I lost my monster fridge, but when you lose a monster fridge, there's more room in your life for a non monster to come in. So, Melissa, welcome. I'm so excited for both of you. I'm really, really happy. Like, okay, thanks. Thanks so much. And Jasmine is. Thank you. To who? Thank you, Bungie, for laughing, for clapping, for supporting me. Thank you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Ben does, too.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's so cute.

[Ronnie Caram]

Everything Zach says, oh, he just smiles up at him like, oh, that was a good Zach.

[Ben Mandelker]

Benji is so cute. But I also love that he totally is. Like, he is, like, the. The dominant one in that household. He's like, you will give a speech right now, Zach. Like, you know, he's the one who's totally bossing Zach around. So Jasmine then gives a nice little speech saying, you know, she didn't think she would ever find Melissa or whatever, but. But she's like, melissa's so special. I've never met someone who literally is just the perfect human, and I feel safe with her. And with all. All my walls are down, and she got to get.

[Ronnie Caram]

She had to get the bachelor stuff in there. I loved that.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel so vulnerable.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, she got it in there, like, right at the end. Don't forget I'm vulnerable, you guys. And my walls are down. I was like, yes, Once a bachelor contestant, always a bachelor contestant.

[Ben Mandelker]

And the production is like, well, we're not going to film your wedding, but we will put some random photos from Instagram up on screen, and that's all you get. Jasmine, congratulations. This is the closest you will have to having an episode centered around you this season. So here you go, and good night and good luck.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, like, that was sweet. Now we're gonna go cast Jax back on this show so we can see him Having sex with his manager.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, exactly. So that was the episode.

[Ronnie Caram]

Everyone.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thanks. That was it. Here. Yeah. Yeah. Daniel, can you. Honey, can you look at my.

[Ronnie Caram]

Can you look at your wife? Look at your wife?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, you. You had to say some, like. Like, vaguely positive things about Janet, and I'm surprised that I didn't have to step in. Like, ronnie, look at me. Can you look at you?

[Ronnie Caram]

No. Like, she really is playing it very well. You know, I'm gonna call. I'll call people out when they're doing something wrong. But, I mean, she. She's actually playing. She's playing it pretty well lately with her. Just like, oh, my God, Lacy. Is that Lacey? Oh, my God. It's lazy. She's really. She's really doing it up. I mean, they all just need to become friends again so people can get messy because, you know, but at the end of the day, the mess is what we love the most. You know, I don't consider people like Danny being messy. I just consider that. That, like, disgusting and, like, emotionally abusive. I don't find that fun, but I. Fun. Like, I find the first two seasons, you know, especially the first one, when they were fighting over, like. Well, you said that Michelle. You know, you can't trust Michelle because, you know, of politics. And then they had to fight over that whole thing. And the. Don't say gay or whatever. Like, that stuff I can get into,

[Ben Mandelker]

you know, there was. There was a moment in this episode, by the way, where Janet was like. Like, trying. Trying to question why Zach was having such a hard time following her. She was like, I mean, what did I ever do to Zach? I'm like, well, you did isolate him in the first season and make sure he was, like, not invited to group trip.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's the thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Then. And then act like he was going to murder you in Big Bear.

[Ronnie Caram]

Exactly. And that's the. You know, acting like, oh, my God, Zach. You know, he wants me to lose my baby and all this other stuff that was going on.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's.

[Ronnie Caram]

You know, that. That's the thing, is the audience really does have kind of a. Their memory. You know, we all. It's like me, when I watch Below Deck, and you say, what. What about last season's Blow Deck? Remember that person? I'm like, no, because I erase it out of my memory. You know, when you watch so many reality shows, I think people's memories are pretty short. So that's why I need. It's like Janet's doing a good reset season, you know? Yeah. And there are just worse people right now and Danny is the worst, you know, coming behind really all of the guy Luke. Luke and then messy Jesse behind them so, you know, make friends so we can get back to Janet and Kristen and Michelle and Brittany and those people fighting because ultimately I'm more interested in that than guys being douchebags to their wives and partners and bring on a

[Ben Mandelker]

new couple for sure. Like, yeah, I think that they, I think Lala has been really great this season and I think that she, like, without her this season would have been a little rougher for me. Me, I think she was really, really great. But I didn't, I think I did not love overall as a, as a concept, Bravo going to Lala and Tom Schwartz as new additions because it just felt like we need to bring in new talent and new people and fresher, fresher things here. So I like Lala as a Bethany Frankel type, classic Bethany Frankel type to go ahead and call people out on their but like we need to actually have like a new, a new couple that's doing something interesting here.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. Well, from your lips to God's ears, honey. Let's hope the Bravo gods are listening. All right, everybody, thanks so much for being here. It's been good times. We are going to do a next gen NYC and then for tomorrow, Real Housewives of Orange county.

[Ben Mandelker]

The fun keeps on happening. Bye, everyone.

[Ronnie Caram]

Bye, everyone.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla plane.

[Ronnie Caram]

Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet coochie jar. We love you guys. This episode is sponsored by Michaels, One of our very favorite places in the entire world to shop.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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