#3475 RHOC S20E03 Part 2: Amiga Standoff

Summary

Watch What Crappens #3475 – RHOC S20E03 Part 2: Amiga Standoff

Main Theme and Purpose

In this episode, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam deliver their signature, irreverent recap of The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 20, Episode 3 (Part 2). The focus is a mix of home scenes, family dynamics, housewives business ventures, relationship drama, and—most of all—the long-awaited “Amiga” standoff where Vicki, Tamra, and Shannon attempt to reconcile at The Quiet Woman. As always, Ben and Ronnie roast, kiki, and lovingly eviscerate every Bravo scene with banter, comedic impressions, and sharp commentary.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Housewives Finance, Love, and Prenups (00:36–05:15)

• Vicki’s Financial Expertise
  • Vicki boasts about giving a seminar on finance and retirement—prompting jokes about her dubious advice history and past with Brooks and vitamin seminars.
  • “Last time I did a… seminar at that place, it was trying to get cancer victims to take vitamins instead of medication…” – Brandi (00:44)
• Gina’s Prenup Dilemma
  • Gina leans on Vicki for advice about prenups with Travis; the hosts drag Jen for being perpetually clueless.
  • Ben and Ronnie point out “Ask Jen what she would do and do the opposite” – Michelle (02:06)
• Ring Drama & Red Flags
  • Vicki reveals her boyfriend withholds her engagement ring “until she’s a good girl.”
  • “Vicki is the red flag.” – Brandi (04:32)
  • The panel jokes about Vicki ignoring red flags despite her history.

2. Carmela’s Family: Vibrators, Cough Drops & Playboy Past (06:34–12:54)

• Carmela’s Home Life

  • Carmela’s scenes are critiqued for their stilted, E!-style home banter with her daughters.
  • Storylines involve:
    • One daughter skipping school for tanning
    • Buying cough drops from an older man (“We do not take money from men in this house!” – Brandi, 07:25)
    • Carmela’s Amazon vibrator debacle—ordering seven to ensure one fits in a purse.
      • “Will this vibrator fit in this Dior clutch?” – Michelle (09:23)
  • The Carmela segment is a “love her or roll your eyes” moment—hosts joke she belongs in group scenes, not at home.

• Life Lessons from Playboy

  • Carmela recounts her playboy experience, stalkers, and why she tells her daughters to carry mace but not take gifts from men.

3. Closet Cleanouts, Parenting Struggles & Moana (13:17–22:02)

• Jen’s Overstuffed Closet
  • Emily helps Jen purge her wild wardrobe. Emily tries on the “red sequin thing with feathers”—comedy ensues.
  • “Even Vegas would say no. Even Vegas would be like, ‘Damn, that’s tacky.’” – Michelle (15:59)
• Parenting Challenges
  • Jen confides about her kids: one is “withdrawing” post-divorce, another struggles with self-esteem, and one gets a speeding ticket.
  • “It’s so hard keeping up with the kids. One of them's going 105 miles, the other one wants to come home because they don’t feel cute enough to be in school.” – Brandi (17:29)
  • Ronnie and Ben express empathy for Jen’s obvious parental exhaustion.
• Movie Time Fail
  • Emily recommends bonding over movies—live-action Moana, perhaps—but Ben admits he lasted six minutes before switching to “Cape Fear” instead (19:06).

4. Ill-Advised Business & Real Estate Claims (24:17–29:52)

• Carmela’s “Developer” Status
  • Gina doubts Carmela’s claim of being a “developer” versus a “rehabber,” sparking debate on real estate credentials.
  • Hosts lampoon Orange County’s tradition of Gina picking fights with new cast members.
  • "You're no Christine Quinn, Gina, okay, get over yourself." – Michelle (28:20)
• Gina & Travis Talk Prenups and Name Changes
  • Gina over-complicates last name worries, with running jokes about length, spelling, and meaning.
  • “Are we going to go 20 episodes with Gina on her last name?” – Brandi (30:28)
  • “I think this is a major upgrade from Kirschenheider.” – Michelle (30:54)

5. Emotional Family Moments: Jen & Grayson (33:34–36:34)

• Jen’s Son’s Vulnerability
  • Jen attempts to connect with Grayson, who is candid about missing his dad post-divorce.
  • “Like this is such a top of mind issue for him. And she’s like, ‘Oh, really?’” – Michelle (34:09)
  • Concern over Grayson’s comfort being on national TV while discussing bullying and family pain.
  • Ben and Ronnie reflect on the limits of what should be televised.

6. Amiga Standoff: Quiet Woman Reunion (37:11–49:58)

Pre-Dinner: Tension & Comedy

• The Setup
  • Vicki, Tamra, and Shannon prepare to hash out their differences at The Quiet Woman—making a meal out of Bravo’s most iconic feud locale.
  • “If Tamara doesn’t stay calm…this could be code red.” – Michelle (38:06)

The Confrontation (41:12–49:43)

• Insults, Apologies, Deflection
  • Tamra’s non-apologies (“Sorry, but…”) and Shannon’s marathon grievances (“Remember when you called me a drunk, broke, and couldn’t get a man?”)
  • “It’s always sorry, but. No sorry, period.” – Michelle (44:04)
  • Vicki tries (and fails) to mediate effective apologies—repeatedly calling for a simple “I’m sorry.”
  • Tamra’s tears and self-defense routines go toe-to-toe with Shannon’s hurt.
• Bread, Uniforms, and Catholic Jokes
  • Hosts roast Shannon’s convent-worthy wardrobe: “She’s dressed like she’s going to perform in Nunsense at a community theater…” – Brandi (26:26, revisited at 41:24)
• Resolution (Sort of)
  • Vicki preaches about the value of old friendships: “Nothing’s been that bad where they can’t move on. I mean, they haven’t slept with each other’s boyfriends or husbands. They haven’t stolen from each other. They’ve got sharp tongues.” – Michelle (47:50)
  • Tamra sarcastically offers an “amends” while jabbing: “I’m so, so sorry you’re an alcoholic and can’t keep in, and that hurt you.” (48:31)

7. Final Notes & Running Gags (49:58–End)

• Recap on Amigas
  • The hosts poke fun at the cyclical nature of Trace Amigas—a pattern of feuding, reuniting, and (inevitably) re-feuding.
  • “The new Vicki is hilarious to me. It’s like the new Vicki, the new Tamra, and the calm Shannon. Someone needs to light a fire under somebody’s ass soon.” – Brandi (48:12)
• Sponsor Rolls & Banter
  • Trademark “Thank You” roll-call of premium Patreon sponsors, layered with puns and familiar in-jokes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Ask Jen what she would do and do the opposite.”

  • Michelle, 02:06

• “Vicki is the red flag.”

  • Brandi, 04:32

• “Ordering seven vibrators from Amazon just to check purse compatibility is a Housewives plotline in 2026…”

  • Paraphrased from Michelle and Brandi’s banter (09:23)

• “Even Vegas would say no. Even Vegas would be like, ‘Damn, that’s tacky.’”

  • Michelle, 15:59

• “Are we going to go 20 episodes with Gina on her last name?”

  • Brandi, 30:28

• “It’s always sorry, but. No sorry, period.”

  • Michelle, 44:04

• “Someone needs to light a fire under somebody’s ass soon because this shit’s crazy.”

  • Brandi, 48:12

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|-------------| | Vicki’s finance seminar & prenup talk | 00:36–05:15 | | Carmela & her daughters’ antics | 06:34–12:54 | | Jen’s closet and parenting woes | 13:17–22:02 | | Carmela “developer” debate | 24:17–29:52 | | Gina & Travis: prenups & name changes | 29:30–31:36 | | Jen & Grayson serious family moment | 33:34–36:34 | | Amiga Standoff at The Quiet Woman | 37:11–49:58 |

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Tone and Style

This episode blends empathetic commentary on the real struggles of the Housewives (and their families) with the gleeful, off-the-wall, rapid-fire humor that defines Watch What Crappens. The hosts balance laughs—a la “Trace Amigas are back (until next episode)”—with moments of genuine concern, particularly regarding Jen’s son and the never-ending cycles of apology on the show.

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Conclusion

A classic Crappens deep-dive: If you missed RHOC or just want more fun with familiar faces, Ben and Ronnie’s playful, shade-filled recap serves up Bravo drama, inside jokes, and a dose of (slightly unhinged) love for America's favorite frenemies.

Transcript

[Michelle]

Who cares what happens when there's so much what happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?

[Brandi]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys. It's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay. It's before this one.

[Cheetah]

Bye.

[Brandi]

Enjoy the show. So these three jokers are at lunch and Vicki is like, oh, yeah, I had to do a seminar today. I was teaching women about finance. Finance it, Retirement. So that was really fun. Yeah. The last time I did a. Sorry, a seminar at that place, it was trying to get cancer. Cancer victims to take vitamins instead of medication that I was selling with Brooks. But anyway, the seminar went great. Bunch of retired people.

[Cheetah]

So that's.

[Brandi]

That's super fun.

[Michelle]

Put money in the bank and move to Mexico. That's what I say.

[Tamara]

Gina's like, that's so smart. Like, Vicki, actually, I want to ask you your opinion on something because I feel like you're good. You're a good person to ask. And I feel bad that I haven't answered already, but, like, two things I need to ask you. Number one, So I wasn't even thinking about a prenup or anything like that.

[Michelle]

And Jen's like, oh, are you gonna

[Tamara]

do a prenup with Travis? It's like, yeah. So like I said, I wasn't thinking about it.

[Brandi]

If ever you play a board game, do not be on Jen's team. You know, if it's a team game, just don't be on. Jesus, Jen, what do you think she's talking about?

[Michelle]

She was like.

[Tamara]

And like, I feel like the smarter thing to do is just like, say, whatever assets I have currently go to my children, you know?

[Michelle]

Okay.

[Brandi]

100.

[Michelle]

Yeah. Ask Jen what she would do and do the opposite. Okay.

[Tamara]

Okay. Jen, what would you do? I'd like to have a coffee. Okay. Vicki, what do I do with that? I don't know.

[Michelle]

I don't know. She's very dumb. Just, just. Just compliment her for the dress.

[Brandi]

You know, I've really. I. I really have grown to love Cheetah. Look at her.

[Cheetah]

She's.

[Brandi]

I'm super proud of her. Like, she's talking about finance with me. I'm proud of her. Anybody that comes to me for advice is solid. You know, I've been through divorce, I've been through marriage, I've been through my good guy teeth. I'VE been through my daughter claiming the guy hit on her still dated the guy. I've been through so, so many things. I've been to Mexico before. Mexico has ice. I'm going to bring ice to Mexico. I'm a. I'm a pioneer. Okay, you.

[Tamara]

And I tell me that

[Michelle]

he's going

[Brandi]

to try to get ice in Mexico. You know, she is like, american ice. She's going to be calling ICE long distance. Like, excuse me, I think I have some immigrants next door to me. Please come here. They're like, ma', am, where are you? I've been part of our.

[Michelle]

I'm in Orange county south search is like, so. I also love how Vicki, like, as soon as, like, Gina asks Vicki for some sort of business advice, now Vicki's like, oh, yeah, I really liked.

[Tamara]

I like Gina. She's like, really, girl?

[Brandi]

So.

[Michelle]

So anyway, then they're asking if. If Vicky's engaged, and Vicki's like, oh, well, you know, he has a ring. But like, some days he gets mad at me and says, I'm not gonna give it to you. And Jen's like, wait.

[Tamara]

So he says he has a ring but hasn't given it to you? How do you know who's at your doorbell?

[Michelle]

Okay, Jen, you're gonna drink a little bit more coffee. Okay, Keep up.

[Brandi]

He's had it for over a year. Hey, what could be the rake? Like, what do you do with a guy like that? And she's laughing like it's this funny joke. And she is. We see a clip of her telling her brother that, yeah, he got her a ring, but he keeps it in the safe. And he's like, when you're a good girl, I'll give you the ring, which is gross. And Jen's like, wait a minute. Is he not asking? Because he's like, maybe it's not going to work out, or, I mean, what. What's the deal with the ring? Like, I don't need a ring to, you know, know that I'm dying for a ring that's in a safe right now. That I don't know the combination term. I'm just a happy one. I'm a. I'm a happy woman with seminars. That's. That's all I really focused on right now. Thank you for asking.

[Michelle]

I am surprised that Vicki has not been swept away by the ocean yet, because she does not seem to see red flags. Red flag warnings left and right, ma'.

[Tamara]

Am.

[Brandi]

Vicki is the red flag.

[Tamara]

That's.

[Brandi]

She is all, well, she's not the one. The Red flag. But she is a pretty big red flag as well.

[Michelle]

That's true.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Michelle]

So, so anyway, Vicki is like said, tomorrow I'm going to meet with TMA and Shannon and we're going to go to lunch.

[Tamara]

And Gina's like, why are you in the middle?

[Michelle]

I'm as if Gina does not insert herself in the middle of single thing in this entire world. And Vicky is like, because they're both

[Tamara]

my friends and you know, I love Shannon and I don't condone what time had done was done. But like I do think we need

[Michelle]

to lead by example and say we've got to move on. Okay, take a lead by example. That's three people giving great examples to America's youth. Vicky, Tamaran, Shannon.

[Brandi]

Yeah, but I find Shannon has moved on. I mean I just don't feel as she hasn't forgotten about it and I don't think she, you know, she doesn't want to speak to her, but she's moved on from it.

[Cheetah]

She was like, yeah, but like you can't just like Forget when like 3 weeks ago they're having dinner, you know, a dinner that Emily and I weren't invited to even as like almost decade long housewives. But you know, you can't forget that they got into like a huge fight and Tamara said all those mean things about her being an alcoholic and like

[Brandi]

not even being able to get a boyfriend. So.

[Michelle]

So Vicky is like, yeah, it's really unfortunate, you know, that, that Tamara and Shannon had this fight at my ultimate ghost trip moment. But I look at the situation if it's going to be get too toxic. But I think Tamara feeds on it.

[Tamara]

It makes me anxious. I get scared for her.

[Michelle]

And so Gina's like, they should just

[Tamara]

like cut the head off and like start fresh from the end because there's like no way.

[Michelle]

I'm like, they've tried that. Vicky was fired for many years. Tamara was fired. Maybe she's saying Shannon should be the next one to be put on on the, on the bench. But you know, whatever. So now everyone get excited. The main event, Carmela's house. Carmela and her daughters wackiness to ensue. Get ready to fall in love, America.

[Brandi]

So Carmela just. You see Carmela moving around the kitchen. But like I said earlier, her mouth doesn't move or anything. So I know, I don't even know who's talking, but she's like, well, I'm

[Cheetah]

really happy that you went to school

[Brandi]

because you really haven't been going to school lately. You got to Go to school or I'm going to go to gy jail for you not going to school. You know what I mean? I mean, you really got to go in there. Mom, was that you? Yeah. Who else would it be cooking around the kitchen?

[Cheetah]

They're like, yeah, but school sucks. And, like, I didn't go to school because, like, I needed a tan and then I needed to, like, watch my show. So, yeah, I'm not gonna go to school if there's, like, tanning beds and TV shows. Oh, by the way, I was in the drugstore the other day because I wanted to get cough drops, but I didn't know you had to be 18. And this guy was like, I'll buy you the cuff jobs. I was like, oh, my God, thanks.

[Brandi]

No, we do not take money from

[Cheetah]

men in this house, do we?

[Brandi]

Do you understand me

[Tamara]

also, mom, you know what's really funny is that, like, I went on to Amazon and there

[Michelle]

were, like, seven vibrators and the car like, what's happening? Mom's like, oh, my God. I'm like, okay. I'm like, I'm not like, a vibrator connoisseur. So I just, like, ordered, like, seven to make sure the vibrator fit inside the purse. I'm very aware, like, if some. Somebody didn't have a sense of humor, it might not be received well. But whether it's a purse or a vibrator, the only thing that should be said is, thank you very much. I'm like, so did you stick all those vibrators in your hoo ha and then keep the one that fit and set the other ones back? Is that what happened? Is that. Is that.

[Brandi]

No, she said that? No, she said it had to fit inside the purse, so she was trying to find.

[Michelle]

My God. I thought she was being okay. I thought she was being coy about, like, seeing.

[Brandi]

I thought she meant reverse.

[Michelle]

I thought she meant, like, she's like, which vibrator would fit the best in my vagina? And I was like, wow.

[Brandi]

In the bag. She put it in the purse that she bought Emily. So Emily would open the purse and find a vibrator.

[Michelle]

But Amazon has Jen not getting things. Should we go back? Should I go back and make more jokes about Jen just being slow on the uptake?

[Brandi]

Well, listen, it's. It's the end of, like, a 12 show week, and we're Looney Tunes. I don't know what half this is going on, but, you know, we'll still do five hours about it. Amazon has dimensions on everything.

[Michelle]

That's what I was gonna say.

[Brandi]

Why aren't you just, just measure the thing? I mean, I know measuring's hard.

[Michelle]

This is also it.

[Brandi]

And it sucks. Where's the measuring tape? It's never in the right place, you know, and then you bring it out and it slaps you in the face. Comes rolling right back. It's hard, but still, come on.

[Michelle]

This is also a great use case for A.I. you know, I know some people really, really, you know, there's AI is a very complicated.

[Brandi]

You're going to get it now.

[Michelle]

I mean, get it now. I mean, obviously when it comes to artistry, etc. Etc. Etc. But I think a good use case for AI is typing in will this dildo fit or will this vibrator fit in this Dior clutch? And I think you could really just save a lot of time and energy just by doing that. Like, that's, that's what we should have the robots be doing.

[Brandi]

It sends you back a picture with like a ship left shack with eyes that's floating on a cloud with dragon wings. Like, wait a minute.

[Michelle]

I really had such an interesting interpretation of this scene. I, I, I'm really glad you clarified it for me because I was horrified. I really was horrified. I was

[Brandi]

the daughter, the daughter's like,

[Cheetah]

yeah, that guy was gonna buy me cough drops.

[Brandi]

And she's like, you do not accept gifts from men ever. Being in Playboy, that was a wake up for call for my own self awareness. I would have guys looking in my windows and they would like, send me envelope fan mail, which I kind of laughed at that term. But yeah, it is creepier. You know, thinking back in the day before email, people actually could look up your address just in the big book that they had and be like, I'm gonna stalk her. You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna send a poop bomb to or whatever that way. It was a lot creepier. But just the envelope, fan mail.

[Michelle]

I know. It's like how if you asked, if you ask a kid to like, mime answering the phone, like growing up, it was always like, this is a crap is on demand thing. But you would do this. You put like your thumb to your ear and you put your pinky by your mouth and the rest is like a fist. It's like, here, I'm answering the phone. But now they just hold their entire palm up because it's just like the phone. Kids, kids these days, phones don't need the thumb and the pinky to represent the phone. Now it's just your palm is Your is your cell phone also tells who

[Brandi]

the improvisers are because they don't do this because that's not how you hold a phone. And they don't do this because that's not how you hold a phone. You do it like this. You hold it like this like you're holding a phone. You see? Took a lot of money. Took a lot of money out of work to learn how to do that.

[Michelle]

As a graduate of the Groundlings, I

[Cheetah]

knew that I am hilarious.

[Tamara]

And

[Michelle]

now show me how you mime throwing a cell phone at Alfredo.

[Tamara]

Thank you.

[Cheetah]

Thank you.

[Brandi]

Funnily enough, that's also the sound the

[Cheetah]

cell phone made as it bounced off of Alfredo's head.

[Brandi]

Not much in there.

[Cheetah]

Thank you.

[Michelle]

Thank you. That was the actual cell phone. That was not a. That was not a rim shot.

[Brandi]

So she is saying that she learned a lot from being a playboy lady. And she doesn't want her kids to, you know, just be trusting of men. Like she's going to be cautious of kids, which is a good, you know, good. So she tells a story about how she carried. She carries Mason. She wants them to carry mace. But watch out, because one time I was like at a concert or something and like something really inappropriate happened. So I turned around and I made somebody. But whoops. Got everybody at the concert. It's like, wow. Carmela went. I was like, wow, okay, I'm liking Carmela. Why doesn't her mouth move to. What a monster. Who does that?

[Michelle]

I think for Carmela, I just need her to be part of more group scenes because her home scenes are killing me. It's just like these long scenes in this cream colored kitchen with like sort of pre planned banter with the daughters. And I'm like, this is not doing it for me. And to be fair, I wouldn't like the scene with any housewife. Like, I. I can't stand these scenes.

[Brandi]

Yeah, I was gonna say, I think it's. It's kind of all of them this season. But, you know, I don't really watch Housewives for the home scenes. I'm not here for that. I never have been. And that's a big part of Housewives. It's just not my favorite part of it. So it's just one of those episodes where it's like home scenes.

[Michelle]

Yes. I like a home scene. If it's like gonna be, I think, you know, noteworthy. Like the one, I think when the Jen. The scenes Jen has with her son later on was, was, I think like, that was a very good scene. But like these sort of scenes. It's like, whatever. And I still contend. My. My observation from last week remains, which is that it feels like Carmela's home scene is just some sort of transplant from an E. Reality show. I'm like, what is happening here? Are we still on Bravo? So we go to Jen's house, and Emily's come over to help organize her closet. And she's like, remember when I told

[Tamara]

you about my closet?

[Michelle]

What? Wait, is this it? This is a whole closet?

[Tamara]

No, no, I have.

[Michelle]

I have no room in my closet because Ryan takes up the whole closet. So, like, I want you to, like, come in and be like, you'll never actually. You're never going to wear that. Heather's so mad. That is part of the scene. You know, She's.

[Brandi]

That is hilarious. Yeah, Heather, that is hilarious, though, that Ryan takes up the whole closet. Ryan with his bedazzled denim and his. All his tank tops and stuff. We actually see his closet later, and it was pretty funny. So Jen's. It's like a clean out the closet scene. And these clothes that she starts pulling out are just insane. They're insane. Everyone is worse than the one before. Where are you going there dressing like this?

[Michelle]

Did we happen to see the adultery dress that Heather Dubrow famously saw her buy at Fashion Island? Remember that scene where there's like, she doesn't have money, but she bought a Dolce dress. I saw her do it from afar, whatever that was. Remember? Oh, no, it was that she bought it and then Heather walked by the dress at like, Bloomingdale's or Neiman Marcus. It was like, this cost $5,000. How could she afford that? I am mad.

[Brandi]

What is it? A pickle?

[Michelle]

Thank you, Alfred. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Brandi]

So these clothes are hideous. And Emily's like, I want to try one on. So she tries on, like a red sequin thing with feathers all over it starts dancing around. She's like, wow, you look really great in that. You can have that. She's like, oh, well, I guess I'd wear it in veg. No, Even Vegas would say no. Even Vegas would be like, damn, that's tacky.

[Michelle]

Yeah, even. Yeah, it's true. And then Emily's like, you know, Ryan's closet is even more interesting. There was a floral section. I mean, and there's a black T shirt section. I mean, I'm married to a man that only wears in and out T shirts every day. So I mean, this is a lot for me to take. Shane, he's Got like, he's wearing an in n out T shirt, and he's holding up an in and out T shirt. Yeah.

[Brandi]

Well, if I had the choice of a restaurant that define our relationship, I'd call it out and Out.

[Cheetah]

King of Snorkel.

[Michelle]

And heather, She just can attach herself to every comedy team. So they're looking through this stuff. There's lotion. She's like, Emily's using up some of Ryan's lotion because I'm a little ashy.

[Tamara]

Like.

[Michelle]

So then Jen is the. Jen says, so I literally got a text from Evie the other day, and

[Tamara]

she's like, mom, I want to come home. I feel so ugly today. I'm like, no.

[Michelle]

Grayson's getting pulled over for 105 miles per hour. And then the next few days after his ticket, he's holed up in his room.

[Tamara]

And then something shut down and it said in him so hard.

[Brandi]

Wait, Besides, ugly people go to school, don't they?

[Tamara]

I don't.

[Michelle]

I don't understand how the first part mixed with the second part.

[Brandi]

I think she's like, oh, these kids. It's so hard keeping up with the kids. One of them's going 105 miles, the other one wants to come home because they don't feel cute enough to be in school. Yeah, these kids.

[Michelle]

Yeah. And poor. I actually feel genuinely bad for Jen because she really is at a loss here. And she sees, like. She's like, Mike, you know, gray. He was always full of life and light, and all of a sudden, it's not there. He's withdrawing. He's in his room. I don't know how to fix this. Like, that's got to be just, like, a terrible feeling for a parent. Like, you feel so helpless. So, like, despite everything, my heart really does go out to her because she just is like, how do I get through to my kid?

[Brandi]

How do I.

[Michelle]

How do I make sure this does not go wrong?

[Brandi]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial. Well, last year, Fucking Luke. I had to do so much for Luke that my daughter felt like she was ghosted by her own mother. So thanks a lot, Luke. Thanks for another one. So, you know, I really have to give a lot of attention to my daughter now. And if she's going to cheer and I need to pick her up, if Shane can't do it, probably at the in and out, waiting for a new version of that shirt to come out, then I'll go to her chair, and I'll still go half an Hour early and put my phone away and sit there and watch goddamn chair for half an hour.

[Michelle]

You know, I made such an effort to do this. You know, I will watch her. Jen's like, yeah, I probably need you

[Tamara]

to tell me this, because I feel like I need. I. I feel like I do the same stuff, and I'm just. I'm tired.

[Michelle]

She's like, well, I know, but, like, we have to lay in bed and watch movies with them. Even the live action Moana, if it comes to it. And Jen's like, you're so right. Did you.

[Brandi]

I tried. I don't even have a kid, but I was like, bueller, do you want to cuddle up and watch some Moana? I lasted six minutes of the live.

[Michelle]

The live action one's already available to watch at home.

[Brandi]

Oh, no. I watched a regular Moana. My cousin with the baby, Jenna. That's the bait. That's a little. Isla's favorite movie. And she plays it. She has little toys that start singing it. So I'm like, I'm gonna watch Moana. I didn't like it, but I saw the live action one. Is the rock supposed to be terrible? Yeah, I'm not saying the original was terrible. I just. I couldn't get into it. Then I watched Cape Fear instead. A lot more people getting murdered and chased. That one's a lot better. So I would suggest anyone who needs to really bond with their young children, Cape Fear, just put it on Cuddle up. Bueller and I have never been closer.

[Michelle]

I was gonna say Ruthless People. I think that'd be a great one to watch with your kids, just to. Just to see if they're maybe gay, you know, like, see how well they respond to it. And they'll be like, you know what? This kid's on the right track.

[Brandi]

If they say yes, as Bette Midler gets her revenge, then you. You're on the right track.

[Michelle]

When Bette Midler is doing aerobics and visualizing herself in those magazines and the kid is saying, like, do it, Queen. Good for you. You've got. You've got a great gay child coming up.

[Brandi]

So we go over to Teddy or Tamara, one of their homes, I think it's coming to check up on Teddy. And it took two hours to get there on a Saturday. That's crazy. So she talks about how close they are. Oh, my God. Sorry. That's my best friend. Teddy had brain cancer. And, you know, we've known this because Tamara brought it up every time she got in trouble last year.

[Cheetah]

It's like, how dare you? How dare you say anything that I did was bad? I'm going through the hardest time of my life. Teddy has cancer,

[Michelle]

and Tamara is saying that Teddy sort of turned a corner for the moment. And they go upstairs to talk, and Teddy's like, she's not on as much medication as she had been. She's not shaking the way she had been. And she talked about how it just takes time.

[Tamara]

And.

[Michelle]

And Teddy basically has, I think, maybe some. I don't know if it's survivor's guilt or whatever, but, like, saying the doctor says, usually when you go through this procedure or go through this medicine, a lot of people can't even walk afterwards. And the fact that you can is actually really amazing. You should be really grateful. But then Teddy starts crying because she sometimes feels like, like, I'm not grateful. And I start to feel like I'm letting everyone down. And then Tamara starts to cry and says how it was, like, very difficult to watch, you know, her best friend go through all this and says that Teddy's, like, a really strong person.

[Brandi]

That's pretty. That's pretty sad, you know, fucking going through something like that. I mean, I get it when people are like, well, be grateful, because it could be worse.

[Cheetah]

Okay.

[Brandi]

See, in a few, it's like, hi, have you seen, like, everything that I'm going through right now? So I got. I got that. I felt that when she was saying that.

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Cheetah]

Then Tamara's like, yeah, cancer. Am I right? Just like, my friends. I mean, my friends don't even. It's saying, like, that.

[Brandi]

Oh, my God.

[Michelle]

I know. It's like, I was just.

[Cheetah]

It was just horrible last year.

[Tamara]

I don't want to make this about

[Cheetah]

me whatsoever, but as the highest ranking person in I I hot radio history, I just have to say it was. My friends were so mean to me.

[Michelle]

And even Teddy's like, yeah, like, don't be an. Like, don't take this out on your friends, because then you're so.

[Brandi]

Yeah, basically. And she tells her, you know, when it comes to your girlfriends, hi, I'm Teddy. You've got to have people that you really open up to and tell the good, the bad, and the ugly, too. She can't. Anytime somebody tells the good and the bad and ugly to Tamra, she uses it against them immediately. So Tamara has. Tamara is blocking herself from all of

[Michelle]

that, But Tamara then says that watching Teddy battle cancer, it's put her. You know, it put her over the edge last year, but it also t her a lot.

[Tamara]

She's like, before, I was like, oh, you're cheating on her and you're not

[Cheetah]

paying taxes and all those things.

[Tamara]

But now I'm just, like, in the big scheme of things, does it really matter? Batch life is too short. Okay.

[Michelle]

It's a really. Tamara is reformed season.

[Brandi]

Another one.

[Michelle]

Well, we'll see.

[Brandi]

We're gonna get re baptized. We had to go. We had the getting baptized in a pool season. Then a couple years later, we had the coming back to Satan season. Now we're gonna go back to the bap. You know, the figurative pool, I guess. Oh, Tamra. Give her a couple episodes. She'll be back.

[Cheetah]

Oh, really? Your husband cheated on you with the penguin, and you're broke? Drug addict.

[Michelle]

Now we go over to Laguna beach, and I say this with authority, because I looked at this restaurant, Brussels Bistro, to go to for dinner, and instead I went to Amar Santana's restaurant. And it was very mediocre, as I mentioned earlier this week, but Brussels Bistro. And Gina and Travis are gonna have a dinner, and they both eat all you can eat mussels. So Gina is.

[Brandi]

I'm not into that. Are you all you can eat mussels? That's too many muscles.

[Michelle]

Oh, a thousand percent. I'm into it. I. I love them. I love mussels. I would totally.

[Brandi]

I like mussels, but I feel like mussels are a few things. And you dip.

[Tamara]

You.

[Brandi]

You know, you eat a few and dip. Dip your bread. That's just a lot of a slimy interior, too. Not slimy. I don't know. To me, it's too much fish.

[Michelle]

I love it. I would love, love it. Mussels are so delicious. So I'm not gonna validate your feelings on this one.

[Brandi]

I'm sorry I made that even to a conversation. I was just like, all you can eat mussels.

[Cheetah]

I don't know.

[Brandi]

Order the mussels. But the all you can eat sounds. Sounds like a lot. And then they ordered two orders of all you can eat mussels. Are you not allowed to share at Brussels Bistro? I was getting a little annoyed at this, and I don't know why, but I think it's also because. Was Gina wearing shoulder pads in this? I feel like she was very, very shoulder pads.

[Michelle]

She just had two giant muscles on her shoulders under her blazer.

[Brandi]

So, yeah, muscle shells.

[Michelle]

Yeah. So then she orders some hot water and lemon.

[Tamara]

She's like, oh, my God. This reminds me of, like, Emily's birthday party. Like, dressing at Nona Gina, remember? Because I could order the Hot water and lemon. And I was like, that's like, so on brand for this situation. Now I'm like, ordering, like, hot water and lemon. Like, isn't this crazy? Like, ordering hot water and lemon, like, twice. It's crazy, right?

[Cheetah]

Yeah. So anyway, like, now that I've, like, done a really casual launch into a conversation, talking about last week, it's very smooth. I've been doing this 10 years. So we met this girl named Carmela. And, like, Carmela, like, she's married to, like, a big time football player.

[Brandi]

Travis is like, is it you?

[Cheetah]

No, it's not me.

[Brandi]

So she told me gigantic right now.

[Cheetah]

Okay, well, well.

[Michelle]

So. By the way, one of the traditions of Orange county is that the season always has to begin with Gina being a total asshole to someone for no good reason. So here she is.

[Tamara]

So she told me she has a real estate license, but she's like, definitely not a realtor. And like, she said she's a developer, and she, like, takes some clients on and, like, she helps them build and design their homes.

[Michelle]

And Travis is like, I wouldn't call

[Brandi]

that a developer, but, I mean.

[Tamara]

Yeah, well, neither would Vicki Gumbelson, and she knows everything about business.

[Michelle]

I was see a flashback at. At the. At the lunch that we're at or the breakfast. And Jen is like, you know, Jen, Vicki and Gina are all. You know, they're all a gasp. The fact that. That Carmela would call herself a developer.

[Brandi]

Yeah. Which is kind of weird. Vicky's like, that's not a developer. That's a rehabber. Okay. And Gina's like, well, honestly, like, I'm not clean.

[Cheetah]

I look on Melodons. But, like, obviously she knows real estate words, so that's good.

[Brandi]

Gina, you've been in real estate, like, for five minutes. Okay. I'm trying to think of a very famous real estate person.

[Tamara]

But

[Michelle]

the.

[Brandi]

You're no Donald Trump. Like, that's the only one that's in my head right now, because it's what towards.

[Michelle]

We could do better.

[Brandi]

Yeah. As America. As a country.

[Michelle]

Rick Hilton, anybody?

[Brandi]

Yeah. So sorry.

[Michelle]

Quinn.

[Brandi]

You're no Christine Quinn. Gina. Okay, get over yourself.

[Michelle]

You're no Mary, who. We never really know her last name.

[Brandi]

You're no Mary from selling Sunset.

[Michelle]

You're no. You're no Amanza. So Gina is like.

[Tamara]

She's like, so what are your thought? It is not very romantic, but, like, what are your thoughts on a prenup?

[Michelle]

And Travis is. Look, the reasoning behind a prenup is, like, very logical. And, like, whatever.

[Brandi]

I.

[Michelle]

It's not Like, I take it personal. I'm like, let's not doing it. Like, we're gonna break up.

[Tamara]

Okay? Because it's, like, not about the fact that I make more money than Travis. It's, like, more about the fact that I've, like, worked incredibly hard and I want to protect myself and, like, I want to protect my kids from, like, people who claim that the developers, but they are just, like, only rehabbers. So, like, this, like, prenup is, like, non negotiable for me.

[Cheetah]

Yeah. So, like, let's talk about my main storyline now. Because we're on a TV show. Should I change name? Because, like, I feel so pressured to change my last name to your last name. But then my kids, like, they, like, don't even care because, like, they think I'm still their mom even if I have a different last name.

[Brandi]

He's like, I literally don't care. Wow. This is not.

[Tamara]

What about. Wait, let me tell you. I know you don't care, but guess what? A few days ago, I asked my son Luca if he would care, and guess what he said?

[Michelle]

Flashback.

[Cheetah]

I don't care.

[Tamara]

So, like, yeah, it's, like, a lot to figure out right now.

[Cheetah]

I'm like, should I really, like, trust the opinion of someone who's best friends

[Brandi]

with a tiny cartoon shark?

[Cheetah]

I don't know, but that's what he's.

[Brandi]

And Travis is like, you're, like, kind of making a big deal out of this. I'm not making a big deal out of it. That's. You don't make it seem like I care.

[Cheetah]

Okay?

[Brandi]

Because whatever.

[Cheetah]

It's like, yeah, but, like, it's not about you. I'm, like, about my children. My children. I don't have the same last name as me. Aren't they going to be, like, they don't have the same last name as me? Like, would it help if I, like, put, like, huge shoulder pads on all my children? I don't know, like, would they feel, like, closer to me?

[Brandi]

Gina, enough. For Christ's sake, this is a two minute conversation. This is the third episode you're blabbing on about this. Are we going to go 20 episodes with Gina? Her last one's going to be like,

[Cheetah]

oh, guys, I'm going to have a changing my last name or not changing my last name potty. Okay?

[Brandi]

And then they're going to get cakes to say, Gina Kirschen Schneider, like, the longest name of all time, and take up the entire cake.

[Michelle]

I know. Gina. What about Travis's last name is not appealing to You. Because as far as I can see, it's only six letters. Two of them are the same letters, and. And three of all three consonants are right next to each other on the Alphabet. Like, I think this is a major upgrade from Kirschen Heider, like, literally having to write that out every single time. Mullen. M, U, L. Oh, that's right. It's like, like it's been 10 years. I still don't know how to write. Gina Kirschenheider. Is there an SCH Is it an ei Is an IE like, it's too much Much.

[Brandi]

On the other hand, named Gina Mullen. She's going to be accused of pondering things, and who wants that? You know?

[Michelle]

But in a slangy way, Gina's just Mullen.

[Brandi]

What's Gina doing? Gina Mullen.

[Michelle]

Well, but maybe she's not pondering things. Maybe she's just cooking some fruits and some wine.

[Tamara]

Oh, my God, it's fragrant already.

[Brandi]

We've come up with better storylines for Gina than Gina has, for Christ's sake.

[Michelle]

You know what I would love? I would love to see if we. I would love if we could just, like, go to a scene where we just, like, see someone who's, like, really relatable and, like, up the people. So let's go to Heather's penthouse. Oh, look, it's a scrapbook. And it's moldy. Thanks a lot, Mother. And then we go to Carmela's house, and she's vacuuming without. So she's, she has a, she has a wireless vacuum that she's vacuuming with, but, like, the, the charger still attached. And, you know, I, I, she's like,

[Brandi]

well, it's not supposed to plug into a wall or something. Like, ridiculous. It's like, okay, so you don't vacuum. You don't have to fix it for us.

[Michelle]

Is it that she doesn't realize that it's running on batteries right now and she thinks it's just, like, possessed and on. She's like, well, okay. Crazy.

[Brandi]

Yeah, she doesn't, she doesn't understand her vacuum. So just Don. Pretend to vacuum. Okay? Nobody needs sex or something. Yeah. Then we go to Shannon.

[Cheetah]

She's trying to give a pill to Archie in the, in a carrot. I'm going to shove this pill in a carrot. I'm going to give it to Archie.

[Brandi]

And Archie's like, no. And keeps eating around the pill and spitting it out. You have to shove it down their throats kind of. That's how the vet does it. It's like, not down their throats, but, like, you take your finger and you push it all the way to the back to where they can't help, they can't deny you follow the bill. I can't believe I have to show you how to do this. Shannon, Come on.

[Tamara]

Oh, well, David said I was too bossy around the house. I apparently was overbearing. So I'm just trying to modulate, because unlike Tamara, I learn from the past. But apparently being bossy is the only

[Cheetah]

way to get these men to do things around here.

[Brandi]

Jen is talking to her son, Grayson. So this is their big, dramatic scene. And she's trying to be like, okay, well, you know, like, I'm still upset about your ticket, but, I mean, something's obviously wrong with you. What is it, Grayson? And he's like, this is a sad scene. So I don't even want to imitate. He's like, that'll come for another day. But, yeah, it's kind of uncomfortable. And he talks about. He's like, duh. Like, why do. What do you think is wrong, Mom? I don't see my dad. My parents are divorced. And she's like, oh, still, that's. That's the issue. Oh, I love.

[Michelle]

It's.

[Cheetah]

That's.

[Brandi]

That's so sad.

[Michelle]

I love how little digging she needed to do just to get that answer. It's like, just meaning that, like. Like this is such a top of mind issue for him. And she's like, oh, really?

[Tamara]

I didn't even know.

[Michelle]

It's like, jen, like, come on, Jen, pay attention. But it's really sad. The kid looks very uncomfortable. He probably, like, he's on camera. He's just got like.

[Tamara]

He's.

[Michelle]

He knows it's gonna be emotional. It's like, I just feel for this poor kid, you know, I don't like that he was reckless in the speeding and everything, but I do feel badly because I think that he is. Obviously, it's a. It's a very vulnerable time. And you know, in your. In your life when you're, like, 17 and your parents getting divorced. I am, you know, and. And, like, I just feel bad for him.

[Tamara]

I feel me and. But like, it.

[Michelle]

Kids really going through it, and then

[Brandi]

ultimately, you know, national TV from All this is crazy. And this is the one who. Sorry, start. Starts a fire with friends, right?

[Michelle]

It has not been confirmed. I think it was unnamed, but I

[Brandi]

assumed, oh, well, he's, you know, like you said, already uncomfortable. All this stuff's going on, and he's filming this for a TV show. Where he's going to be judged and ragged on and all this. And he's going on about being bullied and, like, people aren't being nice to him, and he starts crying. And I was like, don't put this. I don't. This shouldn't be on tv. Yeah, I think I should put it on tv.

[Michelle]

I mean, I. I thought it was, like. I thought it was a very. It was. It was a captivating scene for me. I thought it was. I. I appreciated it being on tv. I hated hearing that he was getting bullied. That's really terrible. I don't like that at all. And I just. I feel. I really do feel bad for this kid. I feel like he's really, really going through it and. And Jen is crying. But you know what? What I didn't love is that he has to console Jen because it's like, it should not be like, Jen. I know. Like, she's crying because she feels like she's let him down. I just felt bad that, like, I'm turning into Gina.

[Tamara]

I felt bad. I felt bad.

[Michelle]

I felt bad that he had to console her when he is the one who's going through the real. You know, and so. Or I should say not the real. She's going through it, too, but, like, his stuff, I think is a bit more, I don't know, like, impactful.

[Brandi]

She's crying because she's saying, I did this to you. Like, I'm the one who left your d. Like, I'm the one who did. You know, I'm the one who did all of this.

[Michelle]

She's going through.

[Brandi]

She's feeling poor, too. Yeah. So she's like, I'm sorry. And he's like, it's not you, mom. And she said, maybe if I didn't know how painful it was for my kids, maybe I would have dug my heels in, you know? But what's been done has been done, and there's just not enough sorrys I can say to Grayson that's gonna take this away from him. All I can do is promise him that I will buy more really short dresses with a lot of glitter and feathers that are extremely bright colors. I mean, if anything says, slow down, down, it's that.

[Cheetah]

Am I right?

[Brandi]

Thank you so much for listening to the scene, America.

[Cheetah]

Thank you.

[Tamara]

Great.

[Brandi]

Thank you so much.

[Tamara]

Would you like to do some yoga in a parking lot? Would that make you feel better?

[Michelle]

So now we go to the quiet woman, and Vicky and Shannon and Tamara are going to be attempting for the 45th,000th time to come back together for the Trace Amigas. Oh, my God.

[Brandi]

So here we go. Another quiet women makeup scene with these three crazies. So Vicky comes in, she's. She's limping in, you know, because she had her knee or what. God knows she's had everything falling off this year. So she's limping in. She's like, oh, hi there. Hi, Julius. Okay, look, love the side. Love the side you have in front where it says, respect each other. You're gonna get kicked out. Is this because you had some housewives in here? Get a job.

[Michelle]

Seriously, get a job. Get a job. So she says, you know, last time we were in here, the quiet woman wasn't so quiet. If Tamara doesn't stay calm and not use any bad words like drunk or broke, like, this is going to be. This could be code red.

[Tamara]

Okay?

[Michelle]

This could be table flipping, and this is going to be plate launching. Like, this is going to be everything we don't want it to be. Vicki's trying to tee up. The fact that this is gonna, like, she's trying to make it seem like, get ready. This scene's about to be crazy America. It's not.

[Brandi]

But it's not. Tamara comes in.

[Cheetah]

She's like, oh, wow. The infamous table was chanted through the plate and said this in my play. That was pretty funny. Okay, I take it.

[Brandi]

Check. Well, she only says that when she's ordering too much food.

[Michelle]

So she's like, oh, God, I didn't blow dry my hair today. Okay. I was heading out. I'm heading out to the desert, so it doesn't even matter.

[Tamara]

So Tamara's like, okay, well, I'm gonna go to your desert house when you invite me.

[Cheetah]

I'm waiting.

[Tamara]

Okay, listen, before Shannon gets here, I think I'm gonna start with this O. Okay. What do you think?

[Cheetah]

Okay.

[Tamara]

Okay. You know what, Shannon? We've both done things to each other. I've been hurt.

[Cheetah]

You've been hurt, and you're a liar. Sh up, Shannon. I just want to say person to person, I'm not a drunk. You are a drunk. Okay? I can keep a man. You can't keep a man. You might be friends again.

[Tamara]

Okay, Tamara, here. Okay, Shannon. Okay. I'm rubber, you're glue. And my type of rubber is, like, the hottest rubber you've ever seen. Whatever you say bounces off me and

[Cheetah]

sticks to you, and then you suck up your asshole.

[Brandi]

And Vicky's like, yeah, you should probably start the story with, I'm sorry. Just say, I'm sorry.

[Cheetah]

No, I'm Nothing. What I do. I can do that.

[Brandi]

Why wouldn't you say, I'm sorry?

[Cheetah]

Does it hurt you?

[Brandi]

Does it hurt like, stab. Is it like a stab? Is it a stab in your heart? Just. Just say, I'm sorry. Tabra.

[Cheetah]

She like, no, I'm not doing it. I did it all last year. Now everybody's mad at me again. I'm sick of being the bed and everybody. Sorry. Okay, commercials. Here comes one right now.

[Michelle]

So Shannon comes in, and she's like, oh, hello.

[Tamara]

Hi. Is Tamara going to acknowledge the hurtful things that she's done the last couple of months? My hopes are not that high. No, no, no, no. I don't think she will.

[Michelle]

So, okay.

[Brandi]

Is Shannon gonna acknowledge that she's dressed like she's gonna perform in nonsense at a community theater? What is she wearing? Why is she dressed like a nun?

[Michelle]

She was. She literally is wearing the school uniform that the girls wore in the private school I went to for middle school.

[Tamara]

Like.

[Michelle]

Like, the girls had to wear, like, black jumpers with, like, white turtlenecks underneath.

[Brandi]

It's crazy. She's wearing a white turtleneck with a black sleeveless dress over Looks crazy. She needs a big crucifix.

[Cheetah]

So she comes in like, well, as someone engaged to the Lord, we'll see how this all turns out.

[Brandi]

So they order some food. Dude. What?

[Tamara]

I'm on the run from the mob, and I'm hiding out in a convent. Shannon act.

[Cheetah]

So Tamara's like, do you have any bread, by chance? Shannon up. She loves to come. Thanks.

[Michelle]

So Vicky's like, okay, all right. So, okay, let's. Here we go.

[Brandi]

All right.

[Michelle]

Let's just rub her in. Rubbing her ass. Okay, so here we go. And they're just sitting there, and Tamara's like.

[Tamara]

Like, just waiting for the Jeopardy music to come on. Any minute now.

[Michelle]

As if Tamara has ever watched Jeopardy. In her life. What is something you've never watched? So Vicki is like, okay, see, I've seen it. So Tamara's like, okay,

[Tamara]

put this together. And I know, Shannon, that the two of us have done a lot to each other to hurt each other, but I'd like to get to a place where we just, like, move forward. We can have fun, get along, get milk, milk, lemonade around the corner. Chocolate.

[Cheetah]

Well, go ahead. Go ahead. I thought that was the end of your sentence. I heard a dot, dot, dot. So I jumped in. Sorry. Please continue.

[Tamara]

Oh. In conclusion. Oh, Tootsie Row. Your turn.

[Cheetah]

Thank you. Well, I'm thankful that Vicki put this together. Oh, sorry. That was your Line to me. It's interesting. Very, very interesting. It was this bread. Oh, that's fantastic. Can I have some bread with this bread? Thank you. Now, I. What was it a month ago, you sat in a booth with a bunch of women and said that I was drunk, that I would never get a man, that I had no money. Do you remember that? Yeah. How do you think that makes me feel?

[Tamara]

And by the way, I don't remember clearly because I'd had a few beverages and remind me who I owe for that meal because I wasn't able to pay that night. And has anyone been able to find me a guy?

[Cheetah]

Okay.

[Tamara]

Thank you so much.

[Cheetah]

Okay, well, probably that wasn't good. And I'm sorry I said it. Okay, I'm sorry. But then how do you think it. I felt when you said, sorry, but.

[Brandi]

And because, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is Tamra. She'll never just say, I'm sorry.

[Cheetah]

It's like, yeah, but you did this to me. That's why I'm gonna say it. So.

[Michelle]

Yeah. Because Shannon does the.

[Tamara]

You. You were so mean. You said all these things. How do you think it makes me feel? She's like, how do you think it makes me feel?

[Michelle]

And Vicki's like, no, answer the question.

[Tamara]

Okay. How does it make Shannon feel? Well, probably not good. And I'm sorry that I said whatever it was I said that bothered you so much, so I don't know. Get over a bitch. It's like, oh, well, it's always. It's sorry, but it's always sorry, but no sorry, period. Now how does it make me feel?

[Michelle]

She took out the contraction, made it two separate sentences, and they're like, oh, okay, that's fine.

[Brandi]

Yeah. She really can't get away. She really can't stop. You know, she's. It's. It's hard. You've been in this cycle your whole life of never honestly apologizing. How are you supposed to start now at the quiet woman, of all places?

[Cheetah]

So Shannon's like, well, I did move forward from two years ago to last year. You know, just brush things under a rug. But then last year, you came at me again, and, like, well, you're not moving forward, Shannon, if you're brushing things out your book. Okay, I tried to move forward with you, okay? And I just didn't.

[Brandi]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. We're making headway here. We're making headway here, right? Shannon's eating bread. Shannon's eating bread. That's good.

[Cheetah]

But, you know, I feel sometimes like you're the pot calling the kettle black. Because I met with Emily, and she told me she went up to you and hugged you, and you said, oh, yeah, well, now I'll call. I heart and say I can invite you to events. Now, how do you think that made Emily feel?

[Brandi]

Okay, well, that's not.

[Michelle]

This is weak.

[Brandi]

That's. That's neither here nor there. Shannon, come on, let's stay. Tamara did enough to you that you can just stay with Tamara. You know, don't bring Emily into a scene she doesn't need to be in. She's in enough.

[Michelle]

Yeah, that was a. It's a stretch.

[Tamara]

Shannon's like, I would have brought up some other grievance, but unfortunately, I'm a little bit too drunk on alcohol and bread to remember anything, so I'm just gonna go with this Emily thing.

[Michelle]

So Shannon's like, I mean, I don't.

[Tamara]

I don't know that making a joke about something that was clearly hurtful right

[Cheetah]

after it happened was.

[Tamara]

Was. Was appropriate, but apparently that's. That is how you roll.

[Cheetah]

She's like, oh, God, this is the thing.

[Tamara]

Oh, here we go again. I mean, Emily is really hurt. She's really, really hurt by it, and therefore, I'm hurt by it because I. Emily is a friend of mine, and I have to show that I'm a better friend than you are by being friends to her right now. So there we go.

[Brandi]

Emily, another one who's always been a great friend to Shannon. Oh, Shannon.

[Cheetah]

Well, you know, she is very hurt. You know, she had a rough week this week. She was given a $5,000 purse. Hold on. I can't even. I can't even think about it without crying.

[Tamara]

And Gina. I mean, she might have to change her name to Mullen. I mean, to think of all the. To think of all the. The fruity wine we're going to have to have our Christmas time.

[Cheetah]

It just horrifying, and you just have

[Tamara]

no sympathy for it.

[Cheetah]

Everyone is terrified of you. Look, Gina is packing herself like a fragile package from Amazon because she is

[Brandi]

so afraid of being around you.

[Cheetah]

The woman can't even sit in a booth.

[Brandi]

Tamara, she is terrified of you.

[Michelle]

So Tamara's like, oh, God, you guys

[Cheetah]

always pick up on the stupidest little things and try to make it into something big. Oh, I called you an alcoholic. Boo. Oh, I said you're broke. Be hoo. Oh, I said you can't have a man. Be woo. It's always a teeny, tiny little stupid things.

[Brandi]

Listen, I'm going To tell you the same thing I told Michael today. I said, I'm feeling hurt, and I need you to understand I don't want to blow dry my hair today. And then he said in response, I'm not giving you the ring today. And that's how a relationship should be. Do you guys understand? Do you understand?

[Michelle]

Okay, I'm going to say something that Archie wished she could have said in the backseat of. Of Shannon's car. Let's stay in our lane. Let's stay in our lane. Okay,

[Cheetah]

well, I don't want to put you in the middle of all of it. Vicki literally sitting in the middle, and she like.

[Brandi]

But I am in the middle. You know what? I don't have family here. My girlfriends are sacred to me, okay? And I love you guys. I love you so much. You know that. Listen, we know Tam's a. We know tab. Is that. We know that Tam's got a. A spy personality. She's spunky.

[Cheetah]

Okay?

[Tamara]

Yes, I'm well aware of that.

[Michelle]

And Vicki says aging has taught me a lot about friendships, that we can't take them for granted because nothing. Nothing's been that bad where they can't move on. I mean, they haven't slept with each other's boyfriends or husbands. They haven't stolen from each other.

[Tamara]

They've got.

[Michelle]

Yeah, they've got sharp tongues.

[Tamara]

I just want them to get back together.

[Michelle]

And then when she kept saying that stuff, I'm like, yeah, yeah, this is Real Housewives. Nothing is off limits.

[Brandi]

Also, you're Vicki, who hates everybody new, who's mean to everybody. Like, what are you talking about? This whole, like, the new Vicki is hilarious to me. It's like the new Vicky, the new Tamara, the calm Shannon. Someone needs to light a fire under somebody's ass soon because this. This shit's crazy.

[Cheetah]

So Tamara's like, okay, let me check in. Shannon, I'm so, so sorry you're an alcoholic and can't keep in, and that hurt you. And I'm so. I'm really glad that you're in a good place right now. And I just want to be around you while you're in a happy place. So continue to be happy instead of a miserable girl like you are usually. She's like, oh, absolutely. Well, I can be friends with you. This potato is loaded. So we're back now.

[Tamara]

I mean, I don't know if it's me or the cheesy bread speaking, but

[Cheetah]

Tracy's amigos are back.

[Michelle]

It's Trace. Amigos.

[Brandi]

All right, help me to my car. Can we do like a three way talk or a three way text from time to time? We used to have that. Remember that? Three way,

[Tamara]

three ways. I don't like using that word. Ever since I learned that I was the third and I was sent away

[Cheetah]

from David and I slept by the beach. Oh God, we're back. There is only one three way I care about and that is the Lord, the Spirit and the Holy Ghost. Okay,

[Brandi]

what kind of religious kid am I that I can't come up with the three? The Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

[Cheetah]

Jesus.

[Tamara]

Oh wow. The three way that I like the most are the three lanes of the highway. Just so much more room to move

[Michelle]

your car around on.

[Tamara]

Anyway, that's it everyone.

[Michelle]

Orange county. Another episode is done.

[Tamara]

Thanks.

[Michelle]

Oh my God. An hour and 52 minutes. What is wrong with us? Says me, who sent us on 10 million tangents. Thanks everyone for being here and we will catch you on Monday. Have a great weekend.

[Brandi]

Bye everybody.

[Michelle]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

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