#3483 The Valley S3E18: Down for the Count

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens #3483

Episode Title: The Valley S3E18: Down for the Count
Date: July 30, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

This episode is a recap and comedic analysis of the season 3 finale of Bravo’s “The Valley.” Ben and Ronnie, with their signature mix of snark, warmth, and deep Bravo fandom, break down the drama, relationships, and iconic moments from the final episode. With biting observations and playful banter, the hosts examine the emotional chaos, party disasters, and cast dynamics, teeing up speculation for the reunion and beyond.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. General Thoughts on the Season & Fashion Disasters

• Opening banter: Hosts reflect on the cast’s questionable fashion choices, especially the reunion looks.

  "The answer is yes, this cast was definitely damned. By the way, we talked extensively about the reunion looks of The Valley on this week's Crappy Hour. Go check that out." – Ben (03:01)

• The poor styling stands out even to Ben and Ronnie, who joke that even as "non-fashion gays," the looks are memorably bad.
• Commentary on the show's tone: lots of pain, sadness, fighting, and “emotional abuse.”

2. Relationship Woes: Kristen & Luke's Misery Olympics

• The hosts dissect Kristen and Luke’s tense relationship scenes—packed with psycho-smiles, mutual resentment, and passive-aggressive jokes.

  "We're competing in the Misery Olympics. Like, who's more hurt?" – Ben (16:13)

• Luke's defensiveness during therapy and his insensitivity toward pregnant Kristen are highlighted, with both hosts flagging major red flags.
• Ben and Ronnie call out Luke’s immature behavior and inability to process therapy questions.
• The theme: “Pregnant Kristen is still Kristen”—how Luke tries to minimize her, instead of understanding her emotional needs.

3. Nia & Lala’s Tense Coffee Shop Sitdown (09:17 – 13:08)

• Nia opens up to Lala about her traumatic childhood, trying to explain her tolerance for Daniel’s behavior and her fixation on a "perfect family."
• Lala, visibly unimpressed, plays along but is clearly skeptical.

  "Her eyes are saying, and how does any of this explain you letting a man talk to you like shit and everyone around him like shit and being fall down drunk everywhere we go?" – Ronnie (11:14)

• The recap highlights how trauma narratives get deployed on Bravo as shields from criticism.

4. Danny’s “Count Bucula” & Party Antics (27:51 – 29:31; 53:36 – 70:02)

• Danny is in full “Count Bucula” mode for the Halloween party—much to everyone's annoyance.
• Ronnie rants about Danny’s overcommitment to accents and how he forces others into his bit.
• Memorable Montage: The show flashes back to Danny’s other “wacky” character costumes throughout the season.
• Danny gets outrageously drunk at the party, breaking his own vows to stay sober, and eventually passes out.

5. Michelle & Jesse’s Bickering

• Jesse confronts Michelle at the party, accusing her of introducing their daughter to a new man (a "famous comedian").
• The hosts point out the hypocrisy: Jesse’s done the same, and Michelle is only doing what she needs to as a single working parent.

  "Jesse, she's paying you, like, $300,000. You don't get to complain anymore, okay? You have to, you have to give this up right now." – Ben (44:39)

6. Janet vs. Zach & The Loyalty Wars (41:42 – 44:39 and throughout)

• The reunion party devolves into a debate over Zach’s shifting alliances.
• Accusations fly (mostly prompted by Kristen) about Nia manipulating Zach.
• Kristen gets caught lying, gaslighting others about what she said on camera.

  "Am I being gaslit or do you genuinely not remember?" – Lala (65:41)

• The hosts note how trivial this feels compared to earlier, deeper conflicts.

7. The Cup Throw Heard Round the Valley (76:09 – 77:27)

• Janet, after prolonged provocation, throws her drink and cup at Danny in classic Bravo tradition.
• Ronnie and Ben dissect the slow-burn decision to do the toss and the way the show leans into the comedy of the moment.

  "It sort of was out of nowhere, especially because the way they shot, the way they edited it was... like 30 seconds have passed and all of a sudden the little cup comes, like, flying at Danny." – Ben (76:22)

• Lala critiques Janet’s move for giving Danny an out, overshadowing his bad behavior.

8. Reflections on the Cast’s Future & Speculation

• Discussion about whether Danny and Nia will come back, theorizing Danny can’t handle the negative public perception.
• Hosts deliberate which cast members are likely "one and done," who might return, and which fresh blood is needed.
• Mixed feelings about Lala and Tom’s future involvement, with a consensus that Tom brought little and should go.

  "I don't see any way that they keep Tom for another season. Like, he literally... was friend of energy and he got main cast billing and that's just a waste of Bravo's money." – Ben (87:13)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Fashion Shade:
  "The only reason they called it the Valley was because copyright wise they couldn’t call it The Rayon." – Ronnie (03:14)
• Baby Humor:
  "Babies are officially diabolical... There's only so many ways to say fuck you. You know, they're like: okay, well I've already pooped myself today, they had to clean it up. That was hilarious." – Ronnie (08:10)
• On Luke’s Therapy Session:
  "Did you get over that stuff a year ago? Because I'm watching you guys on TV and you're two miserable sacks of right now." – Ben (15:17)
• On Danny’s Never-Ending Characters:
  "He just assumes everyone gets the joke and likes the joke. And he says it to strangers, bartenders...." – Ben (28:24)
• On Jesse’s Hypocrisy:
  "Jesse, she's paying you, like, $300,000. You don't get to complain anymore, okay?" – Ben (44:39)
• Confronting Gaslighting:
  "Am I being gaslit or do you genuinely not remember?" – Lala (65:41)
• Janet’s Drink Toss:
  "It sort of was out of nowhere, especially because the way they shot, the way they edited it was… like 30 seconds have passed and all of a sudden the little cup comes, like, flying at Danny." – Ben (76:22)
• On Danny’s Self-Righteousness:
  "I am a good person." – Danny (71:10)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• [03:01] Fashion Recap & Reunion Looks
• [09:17 – 13:08] Nia and Lala’s Conversation on Trauma and Relationship Patterns
• [27:51 – 29:31] Introduction of Danny as Count Bucula
• [41:42 – 44:39] Janet confronts Zach about alliances
• [44:39 – 47:07] Jesse and Michelle argue over parenting and new relationships
• [65:41] Lala confronts Kristen about lying/gaslighting
• [76:09 – 77:27] Janet throws a drink (and cup) at Danny
• [83:03] Danny’s “I am a good person” monologue

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Conclusion & Speculation

• Party ends with the cast divided and burnt out. Most agree Danny and Nia may not return, while new faces are needed to inject fresh energy.
• Ben and Ronnie express hopes for cast shakeup, want Tom removed, and are ambivalent on Lala’s return.
• Looking ahead: Reunion promises more drama—it's set for three parts.

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For Bravo fans or new listeners, this episode serves as an incisive (and hilarious) breakdown of Bravo’s latest messy masterpiece, full of sharp observations, showboating shade, and reality TV wisdom from the Crappens duo.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

Who cares what happens when there's so much crap? There's so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I am Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you doing today?

[D]

I'm good. How's everything going with you?

[C]

It's fabulous. We're really excited because today is the season finale of the Valley episode that we're talking about, so we're about to dive right into that. Join us on Monday, Amazon Live. We are. We always are there every Monday talking about the stuff that we've found lately and why you should also find it in your lives. So go check that out and patreon.com watch or crappins for video bonus episodes Rooney Trailer we covered it this week ad Free listening newsletter it's really just a cornucopia of delights over there, so go check that out. Without further delay or ado, let's get into this. The Valley Season 3 Episode 18 The Valley of the Damned that's the name of the episode. And based on the reunion looks, the the answer is yes, this cast was definitely damned. By the way, we talked extensively about the reunion looks of the Valley on this week's crappy hour. Go Check that out on your feed. We do that every other week. So if you want to hear us weigh in expertly on some of the. I would normally I would say the hits and misses. I would say more like the miss and misses. Go check that out.

[D]

Yeah. Do you know this show is not really known for its, its fashions or styling. It's. It's called the Valley, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

The only reason they called it the Valley was because copyright wise they couldn't call it the rayon. And that's just how this show rolls, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And we're not even fashion gays as we've said a million times. So for it to stand out to us that, that's really bad. But God bless their hearts, you know, I'm Britney.

[C]

Yeah, poor Britney. I mean so much has been said about that. I still want to draw attention to the fact that what's his face. Jesse doing the sneakers with the suit look. I'm so sick of that. Like, like the straight, middle aged straight guys think, thinking they're so clever by wearing a sneaker with a suit. It's like oh wow, did you just invent that? You're really on top of it anyway as I sit here in my cheap T shirt and gym shorts. But that's my right. It's my own inherent style and fashion. So we see previously everything that happened this season which is pain, sadness, fighting,

[D]

emotional abuse,

[C]

torn mcl, acl, God, being

[D]

with absolutely the wrong person despite the entire world telling you no Britney, don't do it. And that goes for pretty much all of you at this point. I think I maybe except Janet and Jason. I wouldn't say Janet and Jason or Benji and Zach. Well, I guess Jasmine and Melissa. There are just such big ones that get you this year. Danny and Nia, Danny and Luke and Kristen. The, the big fails this year are big enough that we should all be warned.

[C]

I know it seems like it was forever ago that that Britney was going down the red flag path of Brandon, her boyfriend and that like went, came and went so quickly. It just feels like it's like was that a different season? Because I just feel like so much has happened since then. I mean it also is because the season has not really ever ended but here we are and we're at Kristen and Luke's house for what's going to be a very cheerful and happy scene that is going to put a hopeful bow on their very tumultuous season long storyline. Just kidding. It's going to just plunge them deeper and darker and have Us sending out a life raft for Kristen to get out of this relationship before it's too late.

[D]

Even as she sits there and smiles psychopathically, trying to make it all okay in our. She's like, look, we're gonna have a really cute scene, just us packing the baby in the car or whatever they're doing. And the baby throws its pacifier on the ground, and Kristen picks it up and kind of wipes it on her shirt and then just starts sucking on it, I guess, to clear whatever was on the ground. I guess she figures, like, you neutralize it with mom spit. What was that?

[C]

Or maybe she just wanted a snack. Let's not forget that this is someone who plucked a flower from a highway divider and chewed on it during Vanderpump rules on a cast trip. So she's not afraid. But, yeah, she's like, sort of. She's sort of cleaning the pacifier for the baby. And then I guess.

[D]

I guess when it's your own spit, it's okay. And it's like, that baby's already covered in her stuff anyway. Came out of her. So they've got the same spit, I would guess, but, man, babies. Stop throwing your goddamn pacifiers. I was just spending time with one of my besties, and her baby. It's the cutest baby in the world. And this baby, when I tell you the projectile. Every pacifier is a projectile. It's like, suck it for two seconds. Throw it on the ground. So I go pick up the pacifier. She gets another pacifier. Then she throws that one on the ground. So I keep going back and washing the pacifiers off. And at some point, her mom was like, oh, it's just a little hair. Like, oh, this one still has, like, a little hair from the ground. And she's like, it's fine. Let's give it. It's protein they need.

[C]

They need to, like, build up their immune systems. Babies just love that. Their favorite game. Just throw things on the ground.

[D]

Dress

[C]

like, I feel like we get together babies.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Get some K. I know. Seriously, Just like, you don't have to play with it. Just put it down in a place where I don't have to bend over every five seconds to pick it up. Thank you.

[D]

Yeah. Because they're so little and so cute. And at some point, it's like, oh, you drop your pacifier. Oh, here's your pacifier. Cleaned it. Uncle cleaned it. Oh, dropped it again. Okay, uncle cleaned it up. Dropped it. Okay, drop. Uncle clean. Are you fucking with me? Are you with me? Now baby,

[C]

like I need like a bowling alley return. Like when, when the, the kids throw it down. I needed to like land on some sort of thing that's going to gather it and sort of just like bring it automatically back up to the table because it's like how many times can you bend over? I say this as someone who's had to do it like three times in my life. I didn't have a baby. But I watch it and I just, I feel, I feel for all those moms and dads who are just sitting there just picking up the pacifier or the spoon or whatever toy over and

[D]

over again because the babies don't know words yet. And there's only so many ways to say fuck you. You know, they're like, okay, well I've already pooped myself today. They had to clean it up. That was hilarious. Peed in mom's face when she changed my diaper. Again, that was pretty hilarious other than really spitting up on her. What can I just do to say fuck? Oh whoops. Drop the pacifier.

[C]

Oh whoops. Babies are officially diabolical. Before we get into the miserable Kristen and Luke scene, we then go over to Britney and Cruz who are trick or treating with Janet and Jason. And it's sort of cute because Janet's like kind of pushing a baby in a stroller but also pushing Jason in like a little chair, a little wheelchair cuz his leg is messed up so there. Janet's like, so do you feel ready for tomorrow? Do you, do you need any help with anything? This is probably the first adult Halloween I've been to in like five years probably. And Jason's like, yeah, I mean since we lived in the Valley. And Britney's like, yeah, it's going to be the best one. Okay. Like it's going to be so cool. It be a cool, cool Halloween. Cool guy.

[A]

You're a cool guy.

[C]

I'm, I'm going to put sunglasses on my house.

[A]

Go.

[D]

So then we go to La Rochelle where Lala is meeting Mia for coffee. Okay, this, this is why this show does not need to be 18 episodes. Right here. This scene right here. These people don't like each other. Lala barely clocks in to come to work at this point. They don't need to be sitting with each other at a. No one's making up here. They don't like each other from the beginning. But I'll go ahead with it. And Lala is clearly Lala's eyes through this whole scene are hilarious. Just watching Nia because she's basically like, hey, ok, came to meet you. What do you want from me? And Nia's like, well, you know, hold on, I'm. I'm gonna feed the baby. Hold on. I just wanted to say that, you know, like, I didn't want things to be bad with you because like, we don't really know each other. But the reason that maybe I get defensive of Daniel is. And then the soft piano music starts playing and she's like, trauma. I had trauma growing up. My mom and I went through a lot of stuff. And Lala's like, you know, you just see in her face like, okay, now I can't even argue with you because you brought up traumas. Okay, I'll just sit here and do nothing.

[C]

Lala has her girl cop face on. She's like, her eyes are, her eyes are narrowed, she's nodding. She's being supportive of like Nia telling her story. Shelters, you know, dropping buzzwords, you know, shelters, growing up, shelters, divorce, all those things. Buzzwords is so reductive. I didn't mean it like that, but meaning that like the, the things that normally pop up in, in these reality show traumatic backstories. And Lala's just watching with like, her eyes are like narrow. She's like, where were you the night of April 16, 1997? Because this is going to inform a lot of what I see next at La Rochellesk. You know, she's just like, she's like taking it all in. But she's building a case in her head that she's like ready to use when the time comes.

[D]

Yeah, I mean her eyes are saying, and how does any of this explain you letting a man talk to you like shit and everyone around him like shit and being fall down drunk everywhere we go. And don't you think it's sad that you have to intervene for a drunk idiot? Like, aren't you embarrassed? Like, you see it all on Lala's face, but she's not saying it because Nia is leading with, I have a newborn who's currently being fed on my breast and I have trauma. And Lala's like, okay, you know what? You can have it. Enjoy this latte. Yeah, you're off on this one, but we're still watching you. I'm still patrolling your street, ma'. Am.

[C]

Yeah, I mean there, there is some insight. I mean, Nia basically says she was so desperate to start a stable family and have like a. The happy family she didn't have growing up that she was like this has. She's she's literally wrote it down on, like, a vision board or a journal when she was 13. So, yeah, makes sense why she looks the other way or puts up with some of this because she is. She cares more about this idea of this. Of, like, this perfect family than she does the fact that she has married, like, a little troll doll. And so, you know, that's why she has. That's why she has to put up with it. Because if she doesn't put up with it, she is forfeiting her life's dream. And that is so sad, but she really is doing that.

[D]

Yeah. And there's also that we have four children. Like, I can't, you know, I can't just leave, you know, and I get. You know, I get all that. I just was cracking up that. At Lala's face because Lala's like, really?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Enjoy your latte. I did what the producers wanted, and now I'm going humps.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

Lala was just barely tolerating this entire scene, and she's basically like, yeah, they're a package deal. So I don't know if I can ever become friends with Nia because I don't like him. He doesn't like me. So this is probably where it all ends now. We go to Kristen and Luke's house, and they are. They. They're putting the baby down with, like, Alondra, who's in the other room, who's taking care of the baby at the moment, and the nanny. And so they're. Luke and Kristen are talking about their therapist. And Kristen's like, I could tell you weren't super vibey with her. And we have a flashback to when the. Luke was like, yeah, when I got down on one knee, I hadn't met pregnant Kristen yet. And Kristen and the therapist are both like, whoa. And then, of course, he was, like, mad at the therapist for having a reaction to his completely asshole comment.

[D]

Yeah. One thing Luke is not going to like is being called out by a woman. That's for sure. He did not like that. But I loved the flashback of the. The therapist, who clearly also hates Luke's ass. You know, like, if she could have had one of those things they use in sports whenever they. What is it, like an air horn? Whenever they miss a point or something? And they're like,

[C]

that would have been great. She also kind of reminded me of Alice the witch on House of the Dragon. So I feel like, don't. With that therapist. So then Luke is like, I just. I feel like she didn't listen and was just, like, trying to, like, like, let's see if we can find a closet or a door he locks shut and pull that out. That's how I genuinely felt because, like, you know, we've moved past all these things. And then she's like, well, how do you move past these things? And how do you feel back then? And this? And he's like, but this was a year ago. Basically, the therapist was like, tell me about your relationship. What fights did you have? How did you get past those fights? What was happening in them? You know the questions that a therapist would ask to find out what's going on in your life and understand your motivations and have you also look into your motivations and how you behave and look at patterns and really all the textbook therapist stuff. And he's like, I didn't like that she asked me questions about a fight that we've already gotten over. I'm like, did you get over that stuff a year ago? Because I'm watching you guys on T, and you're two miserable sacks of right now, so I'm not so sure about that.

[D]

Yeah. And you were just saying last week on your vacation, like, yeah, well, I wouldn't marry you. And you were also crying on that vacation in the hallway trying to get all of her friends to come to your side. You were just. He's just so immature. And Kristen's not the most mature either, but this guy cannot stop just stepping in and then being like, yeah, I didn't vibe with the therapist because she wasn't on my side. And, like. And then I have to stand up for myself again. Would you bring up. You know, he's accusing Kristen of basically manipulating it by bringing up old stuff and making him look bad. Like, this guy, don't do it. Don't do it, Brittany.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, you're. I had to break it to you. You're on reality tv. The old stuff is going to haunt you for at least 10, if not 20 years. I mean, we literally watched a fight from season three of Orange county dominate the entire last season of Orange county in season 19. So, like, the stuff in the past never really goes away, Luke. So get used to it. So Kristen is like, well, you know, Luke is a stubborn mother. Effort. And I know that he, like, he. And I really like to have to take time to focus on us because, like, right now, it's like we're competing in the Misery Olympics. Like, who's more hurt? I was like, that is fair. You guys are definitely in the misery Olympics. And I think you guys are doing the pentathlon. There's a lot of events happening, a lot of hurdles and things and jumping and running, and it's exhausting.

[D]

And he's like, yeah, but, you know, then you guys want me to talk, but then I say things and then, you know, then I have to feel hurt because I hurt your feelings. And she's like, yeah. When you said that thing about pregnant Kristen. Yeah. Like, my jaws definitely hit the, like, cook. Like my car hit the floor. Okay.

[C]

And my call. That was rough.

[D]

But it's not like I was sad about it, you know, I just, like, I just don't get why you'd want me to get pregnant again if, like, you hate my pregnant self. And she's trying to smile. You know, she's doing that, like, this is a very fine conversation, Luke. And he's like, well, let's just get it out of the way so we can just get that out of the way and get, like, miserable Kristen over with. Then we won't have to deal with it anymore. It's like, we want two kids, so let's just have them and I'll just deal with you being miserable for another for another however long. And then, Luke, it's so obnoxious.

[C]

It's so.

[D]

Oh, God, it's horrible.

[C]

Pregnant Kristen is still Kristen. Okay. And it's like she also has to deal with, like, whatever you would call a, like, pregnancy adjacent, Luke. You know, like, it's. It's so terrible. It's one thing if you're like, it's pregnancies are so stressful. I would love to do them. Get them all done now so that way we can actually move past all the. The torture of pregnant of, like, what happened, like, the strain that it puts on us. I would love to move through it, and then that way we can be done with it and we don't have

[A]

to deal with it.

[C]

But to be like, pregnant goo crazy Kristen, it's so condescending and obnoxious. And that's like, you're supposed to be your partner in life. Oh, my God, red flags everywhere.

[D]

And also it's, oh, wow, okay, so you're going to have another baby, and then Kristen's going to be dealing with two children while you or, like, sleeping all day because you're hungover from going out or saying you want to go fish instead of helping with the children. That's not just a thing that happens because there's a newborn that's going to be annoying to your partner. All through childhood.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

There's not going to be a point where Kristen's like, wow, the kids are 2 years old. Yeah, go get shit faced with all the guys from the TV show and then come back hungover and sleep all day instead of helping out with anything. She's not. That's not going to magically go away, you idiot.

[C]

And he keeps on like, laughing and he's thinking, he's making these hilarious jokes. He's like, yeah, let's like, lock up pregnant Kristen in the coffin, like, get her second baby, and then we're gonna put her in the coffin and never see her again. I'm just like. And she has to like, laugh it off. Like, hahaha. But I'm like, that is. I just think it's so hurtful. Like, all that does is embarrass her. I mean, look, Kristen, as we've mentioned many times, is no angel. She has been a terror to everyone on Bravo for 14, 15 years at this point. But it's one thing for her to be a reality star and. And crazy to her co workers, but like to your life partner, you don't say that like it's, it's just so unsupportive. It is so mean. And then like, and then you wonder why she feels insecure about this whole situation.

[D]

Yeah. And she's trying to do the crazy smile, like, Lucas, I'm never gonna have sex with you again if you keep talking. That's not nice. And he's like, what? One more baby? Like, let's just get it over with. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin commercial.

[C]

This episode is supported by FX's the Shards, a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy. Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the series follows a group of glamorous, deeply entangled high school seniors drawn into a life of wealth, beauty, parties, and excess.

[D]

At its center is Brett, whose reality begins to unravel when the arrival of a new student coincides with a series of mysterious murders.

[C]

FX's the Shards premieres August 5th on FX and Hulu.

[D]

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[C]

I just got the most amazing thing from Article. It's the Lubeck outdoor low love seat. Dom and I, we have this little terrace area that's always built, been kind of weird shaped. We haven't really known how to make it look cute. And then found this amazing outdoor love seat. We put it up there and now it is so cute. It is so chic up there. I never thought we'd ever be able to transform that space. And it's really all because of this amazing love seat on Article.

[D]

Yeah, Article has great furniture and I have it in my home as well. My bar stools are gorgeous. They're mid century modern. The quality is just so good. They're solid wood. And not only that, they were put together by Article. They brought this stuff to my house and put it together in the room of my choosing. It was the easiest experience. The people who came were so nice. And it's now been three or four times since I've ordered from Article. They're fantastic.

[C]

Yeah, they are really just, they're fast, they're affordable. Their shipping assembly is great. Their white glove service was impeccable. I've really enjoyed not just the piece of furniture that I've gotten, but, but also the service I had in the entire process.

[D]

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[C]

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[D]

To claim, visit Article.com crappins and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

[C]

That's article.com crappins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

[D]

This guy who by the way, keeps saying over and over, I'm not going anywhere. Why do you. Why are you so paranoid? It's. You're acting like I'm leaving you. And then he says to the camera, yeah, I want her to be my teammate. I'm fighting for us, but I don't know if we're painting the same picture anymore. Okay, then just go Luke with Van Gogh, for fuck's sake.

[C]

Yeah, you're not. It's not called Van's day. It's called Van Gogh.

[D]

So please, yeah, stop wasting time. You're is on one hand, you're asking for another baby while you're saying that you, you know, while you're hinting over and over again that you're probably just going to leave anyway. So off.

[C]

Kristen's like, I just hope we can get to a better place. And she's like, I sacrifice my mind, my body, so I could get pregnant, carry a child and go through postpartum.

[D]

He's like, why are we even talking about this again? I've never been in a darker place in my life than during that time.

[C]

Sorry, Luke. Sorry. I know you're bothered about you so much during this. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Now we go to Michelle's house, and she's playing with Eozia Biel, and her friend Natalie comes over. Natalie, who she tried to hook up with Schwartz earlier this season. So Natalie's like, hi, you want to give me a hug? Isabella, you want to give me a hug? Can I smell the markers? These markers are really nice.

[D]

Whoa.

[C]

So they're just, like, talking me crazy.

[D]

Natalie, look, do you want the pink marker or the red marker? Wait a minute. They're both pink. What am I, nuts?

[C]

Crazy. So Michelle says, I feel like now that everything is behind me, now my divorce is over, I can move forward. He can move forward. Like, we are in a great place. So it's like the end of a chapter beginning of New York. And what is this book going to look like?

[D]

Yeah. So they're making basically small talk about. It's like a season finale. Scenes like, okay, what are your goals for the next year? I want to sell $50 million worth of real estate. And Natalie's like, wow, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you for having that goal. And Michelle tells us she feels like a bars. She feels like a boss now. So then we find out that Isabella has been saving all of her money so she can go buy tiny Labubus. And she saved up a hundred dollars. And that's actually impressive when your dad is. Jesse. Have you counted that money recently? Because he's probably taken it.

[C]

Well.

[D]

And spent it.

[C]

Except the thing is that Isabella learned from Jesse, which is that Isabella was not saving the money. She's just been stealing Michelle's cash. I'm putting in a piggy bank at Jesse's house. So she learned everything from Daddy, And Daddy probably told, like, her piggy bank

[D]

is only a loan that I did not know about for 300,000 Laboos. Damn it.

[C]

Now we go. Now we go to Beverly Babies Concierge Care. And Jesse and Lacy are there because we. She needs to check on her. On her ovaries. And Lacy, they. They, like, they sit down and this lady's like, hello, Jesse and Lacey. Can I get you anything? He's like, can I get, like, a gin and tonic or something? She's like, what? That's crazy. We make babies here. So there's no champagne because you asked for champagne, and we don't have that here. Jesse.

[D]

Yeah. So this is Lacy getting her eggs frozen and checking on her. Yeah, well, she wants to get her eggs frozen because. Yeah, she had endometriosis. And so she's. She's doing that. And just the doctor's like, so he's a very la. Very cute doctor with, like, perfect fillers and Botox. It's just so stressful. Like, you're too cute. Could you just be homelier while we talk about my personal health? You're too hot. Like, I can't stop staring in your eyes. So he's going through the whole thing with them, and he's asking if they want to do Emperor Brios or just eggs. And she's like, yeah, you heard his joke about, like, getting champagne? Yeah, just the eggs. Thanks.

[C]

Yeah, so he, like, they're gonna look to see how her ovaries are doing. And, you know, Jesse is saying that he wants to seed the world. He's like, I want to see the world. You know what I mean? She's like, ew, Jesse. So they look and her ovaries. One ovary is. Is doing amazingly. Then she has the bad ovary, and she goes. And she looks. And there was concern that she would have to actually remove that ovary, but the endometriosis has subsided quite a bit, and so she can keep it.

[D]

Yeah. And Jesse's like, well, hopefully one day we get married and Isabella can be a flower girl. And Lacey's like, well, my dream is, like, what we're doing right now, you know? So, like, he's probably saying something romantic and I'm gonna look like a jerk, but he's not getting into my house. So that's the end of that.

[C]

So the good news is there will be eggs to freeze. Now we go back to Kristen and Luke's house in North Hollywood, and they're getting ready for Britney's Halloween party. And while they're getting ready, Danny and Nia are there. And Danny is this. He's. He is inhabiting the character of Count Vukula.

[D]

And whoever.

[C]

Whoever sent Dany down the acting path in childhood. I think we need to have a stern talk with them because it's too much better.

[D]

What has happened to the drama teachers in this country? That is my question. It's like, hello, it is me, Camp Bucula. I am going to suck your blood.

[C]

And by blood, I mean blood Orange mojito, please. Three of them, stat. Thank you very much.

[D]

I hope there are some humans on the menu tonight. I hope that there are some. Some Stella Adler passes on the menu tonight. Okay?

[C]

I actually want him to get wasted as soon as possible so that way he can pass out and shut up. Yes, he is. He is like literally the worst. And like, it's not so much that he is in that he is dressed up like a, like a Dracula and he's called himself Count Bucula. It's that he stays in that character. Like he does not get out of the character, he just stays in it. And he just assumes everyone gets the joke and likes the joke. And he says it to strangers, the bartenders. I have a friend who's like this actually. And he'll like put on an accent. Like if we're playing a board game, he puts on an accent. Like, let's say the board game takes place in Ireland. He puts on an accent and then he just stays in that accent for like two hours straight. And you're like, can you please stop? No one is laughing anymore. I say this as someone who does a very shitty Irish accent on Below Deck and all these shows literally every week for hours on end. I get it.

[D]

It must be so difficult having a friend who just won't stop talking. And stupid voices every time you get together.

[C]

What's up with people who are always breaking into different accents and voices non stop when no one even asked for it? And the context doesn't even make sense

[D]

as we walk through our life being like, well, I never. How dare you.

[C]

But you know what it is with Danny? It's almost like he's asking you to like participate in the accent too. Like you have to like talk to him like he's in character. So it's one thing to do an accent, it's another to like force people into your stupid ass. Failed actor role playing.

[D]

Yeah, he's, he is the worst. And it never stops, the whole episode. And at one point they do the whole montage of like Danny's wacky characters. Remember when he was the cowboy? And he's like, wow, we better round him up. My little cow poke. That's hilarious.

[C]

It's, it's, it's literal torture. So then we go to Jan and Jason's house and Michelle and Tom and Lala are pre partying there and Tom is like, okay, the hottest person that you've ever had a crush on. The person that's like consumed your mind, body and soul. Who is that? Okay, they've had painstaking diarrhea. They poop every day. Why is he even. What is this scenario that he's even concocting at the, at the top of the scene right now?

[D]

I think he's just trying to say like the great equalizer in Hotness is that everybody poops, I think. But they came in on the middle of the conversation. It's like, why am I watching this show? And Michelle's like, I don't know how I'm going to take you seriously with a lisp. Okay, don't say gay or whatever, Michelle. But yeah, she's saying, because he has vampire teeth in. And they're, like, laughing about his feet or his teeth. And then how Jason still looks sexy in his crutches and stuff. And Lala's like, oh, my God, can you guys even have sex? Like, have you. Like, if Janet was on top, you could have sex, right? And he's like, well, I mean, my equipment's not injured, so we could have sex. Well, have you had sex? And Janet's like, no, no, no, it's not worth the risk,

[C]

but can you receive blow jobs? He's like, yeah, you need to give him a blowjob, Janet. And he's like, yeah, I mean, that's

[A]

what I've been saying.

[C]

Huh? And she's like, you guys, I hate doing that. It's like, you're being. You're being cng. Well, I'm sure he doesn't love trying to find your vagina, but he does it. So then we go over to.

[D]

Is it hard finding a vagina? I haven't gone looking lately, so I'm just asking anybody out there who would know.

[C]

Jason's like, ah, damn it. Wound up at the armpit again. Okay, let's start over.

[D]

Damn it, Danny. You threw my shoulder out again. Dislocated my shoulder. Oh, okay. That's. What else. That's. That's widows. Let's go to Jesse, Lacey, Zach and Benji, Jasmine. They're all riding together to the party. And Jesse's joking. Oh, we're almost to Jax's house. Like, yeah, that's not. That's not funny, Jesse.

[C]

Zach's like, you know what? I'll give you back your douchebag title. I think he. I knew he was still in there. So now people are arriving, and Michelle's saying, it is my birthday at midnight. I'm gonna turn 37. And so they're like, oh, my God. Like, whatever. Like, you. It's a. Like, you have, like, Lala. You have to kiss her on her birthday. Whatever. And Lala's like, well, what kind of kisser are you? Are you, like, really melty? She's like, no, I'm not trying to get my tongue in there. I just thought a little pack is what I deserve for my birthday. So we get to Britney's house, and Britney's setting things up, and it's a pretty elaborate Halloween party. I have to say, she did a pretty good job with this one.

[D]

I'm a party planner now. Don't you know?

[C]

It's the best party I've thrown in my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Someone shows up. Danny is like, hi, guess what? My name is Count Bucula. Look, listen, don't I sound like I'm from Transylvania? Let's go.

[D]

So everybody hates Danny. And he's just going up to everyone like, wow, it's a mayor Campucula. Hello, Danny. And finally get someone to play with him who is Jesse. And he's like, I will do the accent as well. And so he plays along with him for a little while. Just don't. Just don't answer the door. I would just say no soliciting. Okay. Did you read the sign? Go away. Shoo.

[C]

Yeah, we actually have an exclusive photo of Jesse in his costume. Let me. I'm just getting it ready for us. This was. Someone sent this to me of him in his vampire costume. That was taken, and I don't think he was aware that the camera was on. So let me just put it up on the screen. It's. One second. We're getting it ready. This is. If you're watching Crap is On Demand. I highly recommend. So you can get these visuals. Here's Danny. There it is. Oh, my God. Danny's little costume. It turns out that Danny is Jonathan Lipnicki starring in the Little Vampire. That's the energy he's bringing to this episode. Poor Jonathan.

[D]

What did he ever do?

[C]

Danny walking around in his little cape, being like, I'm a vampire. I was like, this is the Little Vampire, the sequel. This is a reboot of the Little

[D]

Vampire, A delightful adventure. I like. I love the review on the movie poster. It's dot, dot, dot, a delightful adventure. Because, you know, that review was like, I mean, listen, I saw Pirates of the Caribbean, and that was a delightful adventure. But this one was a piece of shit. Cancel Jonathan Lipnicki. Who needs a child killing people by sucking their bloods out? And why are there flying cows in the background of this poster? Fuck this movie.

[C]

Honestly, fuck this movie. And I love that that pull quote is from the New York Times. Lawrence Van Gelder for the New York Times. Lawrence Van Gelder, I guarantee got fired after that because. But I also guarantee that the full sentence was not a delightful adventure. It was probably. This is not a delightful adventure.

[D]

Yeah, I will look up this. So Lacey's like, wow. When Danny and Jesse are doing their accent. As far as being the least sexiest thing I've ever seen. No, I have seen Jesse in his saggy underwear.

[C]

And then we get a flashback to that. I love that the show goes out of its way to include that. That, that shot. You know, they'll be like, do you want a coffee? How could I have a coffee when all I can think about is Jesse's underwear? And then just show a shot of Jesse in the saggy underwear again.

[D]

Yeah, they're like, hey, let's. Let's put up our favorite shot. Okay. No, no, that's Jax getting Reiki. The other one. Poor Jesse, he's like in a. In the middle of a pile. But yeah, they, they do. And those underwear still are disturbing to this day. They really are very gray.

[C]

Gray and like non baby saggy. So.

[D]

So Michelle and Janet and Lala are chatting and Michelle is like, wow. Everybody thinks it is Halloween, but inside of my head I am like Abby Bird. They do me. Am I right? And so they're like, wow, cheers to your birthday. So then, Lala, essential crisis. Yeah. I have to share with Halloween.

[C]

I am celebrating a different holiday today.

[D]

It is hard for me Boastle Workers Day. Very difficult for it not to be recognized. So Lala's like, we were talking to Kristense and Britney Snyder her Photoshop and Kristen shared text messages. And then we see a flashback to Kristen being like, yeah, Zach texted me today and he said I should go to the Halloween party and be like, stay away from my bestie. That's what he wants me to say to Janet. Your Halloween party, Christian just getting messy and throwing all of her allies under the bus. Really? For no reason. At Britney's photo shoot.

[C]

Yeah. And the Lala's like, so we like, we were like, see, like this is the thing. Like when he's around Janet, he's like very friendly. And Jan's like, yeah. And then he's acting like we're moving forward. Yeah. And so I was like, I'm feeling like you're making it so he feels like he can't move forward with Janet. And she goes, I never make him feel that way. I do not guilt trip him if anything. Nia Dusk.

[D]

Yeah. So here we are with their fight over, like who's being nice to who's supposed to be on whose team. Like, whose team even is Zach on? Zach told you guys at the Chili's where he himself that he unfollowed Janet because he wasn't there yet. Like, what are you guys confused about? You're acting like he's calling Janet every day and pretending that they're best friends. He's not. He's trying to get along and go along for the sake of the show. Okay.

[C]

Yeah. But they're saying he unfollowed Janet because Kristen and Nia are sort of applying sort of subtle or unsubtle pressure on him to like, not welcome her back into his life. And they end up.

[D]

But he only followed Janet because it was a bet in the first place. He didn't want to refollow Janet. He only refollowed Janet because they made they. The group pressured him into doing it in a bet. So.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I don't know if Zach is a huge fan of Jen. I'm not getting that sense based off of really everything. So Lala is like, Zach is what my dad calls a fart in the wind. You can call it flip flopping. You. You know, he goes wherever the wind takes him. I. I don't think it's intentional, though. I think whoever he's with in the moment, that's his best friend.

[D]

Yeah. I think it's called being nice to people.

[C]

You don't like getting along, even being friendly, pleasant. Yeah. That's the thing on reality. You have. Yeah. On reality tv, like, you're forced to have, like, extreme stances on the people that you're around. But in real life, if there's someone that you're like, not a huge fan of them, but, like, whatever. We could be nice at a party. We can just like chit chat. It's fine. I wouldn't like, hang out with them beyond that. But like, on reality tv, it's like, how could you talk to someone that you're lukewarm about? You're fake.

[D]

Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Are you recording? I'm not. Because I forgot to press record. Okay. For Christ's sake. Okay. So then Britney comes up to join the convo and Janet's like, we need you here to clear this up. This is huge. This is huge. Tea, everybody. So while I was like, yeah, I was telling him about your photo shoot and the Zach text messages and Janet's like, yeah. I'm just so confused. I'm just putting so much effort into making this work. And then to find out these people are talking shit about me behind Janet. They don't like you. And you don't like them either. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And you are making the effort for tv and so is Zach. Why? Why need to start it this is just so stupid. You guys grow up. Yeah.

[C]

This. Yeah. I think this sort of, like, fight over Zach's loyalty is a little low stakes. After some of the other stuff we've seen this season, it just feels like, like, okay, the last sort of after shocks and tremors from Mexico will just sort of cobble this together to be our season finale. So Brittany is like. So Zach comes over, and John's like, okay, Zach, I want to talk. You know, I want to talk about. I'm hearing that even though you and I have, like, you know, we've got to a place where we're, like, moving forward and trying to be positive with everything. And he's like, well, yeah, like, I mean, Chili's was, like, a bit of an issue. She's like, yeah, well, Brittany had a photo shoot, and then Kristen and Lala. I guess Kristen said that you're still talking shit about me and that you can't be friends with me. And I guess Kristen's throwing you under the bus to try to make you and I not be friends. So is that true?

[D]

Lola's like, it doesn't just sound like it. She did. That's what she did. And Zach's like, yeah, number one. If Kristen lied and said Zach did have fun, I'd be like, why would you say that I did not have fun? But you are plotting and trying to make it look like Kristen's throwing me under the bus. Now that's interesting. And so he tells them, are we talking specifically after Chili's? Because there was. There was. I don't know if I told you, but I was gone for 30 minutes because I wasn't only pooping. I pooped myself. I sharted. Like, what?

[C]

Yeah. He's like, okay, if this is a way to sort of stop this conversation, I just want to say, I shat my pants, my underpants, they are gone. The underpants are in the trash. So John's like, okay, so you shot yourself? He's like, yeah, that's why I was gone for so long. It's like, okay, But Jan's like, but you're not gonna get out of this for. So then Janet's basically like, zach literally can't keep this in himself. He's talking like, maybe, like, you should try being less full of. And then it just won't pop out unexpectedly. So then they're like, are we moving forward? Are we not moving forward? It's like, baby steps. What's going on? And Zach is like, like, you get to have, like, three of your best Friends. But I can't even have, like, Kristen over here right now. Do you understand? Like, I need to have backup for this fight. Just like, fine, bring Kristen over.

[D]

Yeah, well, it is like, three of them. Like, we need to have a talk.

[C]

Zach.

[D]

Whose side are you on, Zach? So then Jesse comes over and he's like, you've got me now. And John's like, oh, fuck off, Jesse. He's like, what are you gonna say? All of a sudden, Janet takes accountability out of nowhere. Where's this even coming from? Jesse go away.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

God, can Janet just have her moment to be annoying? We don't need you, too.

[C]

Yeah. So then Janet leaves. Like, no, Janet, don't. That's what she always does. She always leaves. She's like, I am so done with Zach right now. Zach just needs to own his. And if you don't like me, then don't come to lunch. Don't do anything with me. But the thing is, Zach secretly likes me, and he just is struggling with that because me and Kristen. What? Because Nia and Kristen won't allow him to like me.

[D]

Yeah, Kristen would allow. Yeah, okay. Zach does not like you. Okay? This is all. This is not. Kristen is a damn liar for what she did. See, that's another. Here we are on the Valley again, where if you stand, you can't stand up for anybody because everybody's wrong all the time. Look, what do you even do? You know, I need a stronger sense of, like, who's right and who's wrong, because this makes me crazy. Kristen's an for lying, blah, blah, blah, blah. Kristen will get hers later, I guess. But Zach does not like you. Where's. Where. Where are you getting that from? So Jesse now comes in and tries to start. So they just leave, which is good, because who needs to fight? Jesse, it's none of your business. So he's like, okay, so one woman left, so I'll just go for another one. It's Michelle. Michelle, you're up.

[C]

Yeah. He's like. So it's come to my attention that for the last three months, you've actually been secretly dating a comedian. She's like, it's my client. Well. Cause you asked me to watch Isabella an extra weekend to go to Vegas for, quote, unquote, work. And then I've been sent videos of you guys dancing in bathing suits together. Jesse, she's paying you, like, $300,000. She's paying off your loan, and she's not even contesting it because she wants you out of his hair, out of your Hair. You don't get to complain anymore, okay? You have to. You have to give this up right now.

[D]

Yeah. And Michelle and Jesse have this thing with each other where it's like, you can't introduce this person to our daughter, and you can't introduce this person to our daughter and you. It's a fight they've been having for a long time on this show, but you've both done it so many times that another. Neither one of you really has a leg to stand on at this point. Okay?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So just stop, Jesse, for Christ's sake. So she's like, jesse, we're good. We are good. I do not want to vibe with you. And he's like, I will not have another man introduced to my Isabella.

[C]

She's like, oh, my God, don't do this. We are good. Why are you doing this? You're introducing another man. Isabella, you need to use. You're. You're not using your head like you're not using your brain. I mean, this is what I mean. When we are doing so well. He has to ruin it. He has to make another. Other people think I'm a horrible mother. But the reality is I was showing houses, and she met him. And I get it, Jesse. You haven't sold many houses lately, and I need to sell houses. So I bring my daughter, and I get it done.

[D]

He's like, yeah, well, you got mad at me and my girlfriend, but we're still together two years later. But yet you moved our daughter into a guy's house who then left you, and now you're introducing Isabella to another guy. Oh, God. For Christ's sake, you're bringing up Aaron again.

[C]

I just can't wait to see what he has to say about Dr. Dre. I can't wait to see how this all plays out next season with Dr. Dre. I am so curious to see where this is going to go or if even Dr. Dre will show up on the show.

[D]

Yeah. And I like that he had kind of a moral upper hand when he said, I've heard you're secretly dating a comedian. Because normally everybody would be like, oh, no, comedian. No. But it's a super famous comedian, so it's. Now it's okay, you know?

[C]

Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, yeah. It's. It will be interesting because, you know, we've talked about it here. Dr. Dre has a bad track record with how he treats his. Treats women in his life. Oh, yeah. It'll be interesting if this actually becomes a storyline. Next season on the Valley. It, like, it could be. Which would be the most surreal thing ever, the fact that Dr. Dre is even attached to the show. I still can't really wrap my head around that. But Jasmine's now like, what the just happened? Jesse. And Jesse's like, she's been secretly dating a comedian. A comedian. She's been dating him for three months. She goes, well, what? She doesn't even laugh. How does she date a comedian? This actually might be good for her. Michelle's like, I can laugh. Yeah, she doesn't even laugh.

[D]

And I thought, does Michelle have a laugh? No, I don't remember what Michelle is. Yeah, she does that.

[C]

Hold on. I've downloaded the laugh algorithm. That was funny.

[D]

But she also makes that look whenever somebody eats fast food in front of her. So I don't know. Is it a laugh? I don't know when she cries, by the way. Dr. Dre. Dr. Dre Abuse. This is crazy. So. Attacked a journalist at a 1991 release party, slamming her head and body against a wall. His former romantic partner, Michelle, who detailed multiple instances of physical abuse and violence. Nicole Young, his ex wife, who alleged during their 2021 divorce proceedings that he held a gun to her head and physically abused her. Jesus.

[C]

Yeah, it's very scary, honestly, for, like, for Michelle, because we don't. I love the idea of Michelle moving on to a superstar after Jesse, but I don't. I'm.

[D]

I not that one for.

[C]

Yeah, I'm scared. It's scary that, like, that she might be potentially, you know, putting herself into

[D]

a. I think everybody putting that to the side just because we live in celebrity culture is crazy, because if this was any non famous person, this wouldn't even be a conversation. But it's like a rich, famous person. So it's like. Well, you know, I think it just

[C]

shows how much we dislike Jesse Lolly, that we're just. I think we're just happy for Michelle to just be attached to extreme fame and wealth just to make Jesse feel in just a feel. It's. No, I'm not being facetious. Obviously, no one wants anyone to be in a situation with someone who might be. Might harm her. But I think in terms of why people look the other way, it's because we just. We just want. We just want Michelle to not be stuck with a penniless bum who is driving her nuts.

[D]

Well, yeah, I'm not gonna either. Or that one, because that's. That's a. That's a horrible choice. But, yeah, she is. This will come up next season for sure. If he's this mad about a comedian, you know. Yeah, that'll be something next year. So you know what?

[C]

This, this show's getting a little dark, so why don't we bring some joy in by saying happy birthday to Delta Burke. It's Delta Burke's birthday today, everyone.

[D]

Happy birthday, Delta. I love you. I will shellac anything Delta Burke.

[C]

And you know what? Two days ago with Sally Strothers. So, like, here we are talking about all these scary at Lisa Kudrow's birthday today also. There's just so much joy to be had.

[D]

Lisa Kudrow and Delta Burke are have the same birthday. That's insane.

[C]

A fox today is like, whoa, Pride. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Anita Hill. It's everyone. Everyone you could ever dream of.

[D]

Wow, that's quite a day.

[C]

Here comes one right now.

[D]

One thing my mom loves is to bargain hunt. She will go to a garage sale, to a flea market, any old sale at the mall. I'm taking her from sale to sale to sale to sale. And I finally found someplace online that I can just park her and she'll have the time of her life. And that is whatnot.

[C]

Whatnot is an app that does live shopping. There's a whole community there on whatnot. You're connecting with sellers and other shoppers and it's kind of like hanging out with a group that gets you. And this is like a really fun way to shop.

[D]

You never pay full price. Sarah, you can shop name brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry, and more, all without the sticker shock. It's the best place to find great deals on products you love.

[C]

And there are amazing sellers with great, great taste. And they're going live all the time, like 24, 7. You can comment in real time and they'll just show you, like close up of clothes. You'll be like, hey, can I get. Can I see that a little bit closer? I want to see that detail on that shirt. And they will show it to you

[D]

because it's real time and you can sell too. Do you have clothes, bags or accessories sitting in your closet that you don't reach for anymore? What not makes it easy to turn them into cash? Connect with shoppers who share your style and have fun going live while doing it.

[C]

It's amazing what you can find on there. I literally just purchased a mid century modern Dansk yellow paella pan for $35 and I've seen it listed elsewhere on the Internet for $80. It was a bargain.

[D]

Download whatnot today and get $20 off and free. Shipping on your first purchase. Search whatnot. W H a T N o t in the App Store. Sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with $20 off and free shipping on your first purchase.

[A]

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[D]

So Jasmine now comes in. I think everybody here, Jesse, Jasmine. I think there's been a lot of the snow going around and I'm not even a judger of this, but I'm noticing these, some of these fights are too emotional and are coming out of nowhere. Jesse, Jasmine. Jasmine's next up. So Jasmine comes over and she's like, what just happened? What just happened? And he's like, she's been secretly dating a guy for three months. What's Maximini? A favorite famous comedian. She's like a comedian. Yeah, you already said this part. I'm so sorry. So Jesse's like, yeah. And the problem is I've been told by Isabella that she's met this guy and that's not cool. And I watched my daughter cry about Aaron, cry about him. And I'm telling you, if another guy comes into my life, there's gonna be big problems.

[C]

Yeah, that's like, again, this is where I was like, let's watch, let's watch Jesse try to go up against Dr. Dre and see how that work. So then Nia, Nia and Danny are standing in the kitchen and he's like, are you drunk, Daniel? He's like drunk. Unless you count being drunk on people's blood is drunk. You know, this is the last day I'm gonna freaking not drink and like eat everything. So he just, he starts the Kyle cook thing where he literally just starts eating every single pastry in the kitchen

[D]

and he is wasted. Wasted. Idiot. A whole season where you're crying that you can't drink and you're wasted again. How many times? How many times, Danny? The. What is this like the fifth or sixth time he's like, publicly intoxicated and is going to go yell at women.

[C]

Yeah, seriously. So great job. Right? He's gonna get drunk enough that he's gonna have to lie down in the middle of this party to pass out. Like, what? So j. So then Jason has a moment where he, like, he goes up to someone he thinks is Janet, and he's like, hey. And then she's like, hello? And he's like, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't, I did not think it was. I thought you were my wife. I thought you were my wife.

[A]

Oops.

[C]

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And they're like, okay. And then Janet and Michelle are talking on the side, and Jasmine joins them. And Janet's basically saying, like, you know, he's a little. He's a little. And Jasmine's like, well, what, what's, what's happening, you guys? You had, you know, you had a boyfriend this whole time. And Janet goes, no, she doesn't.

[D]

Well, don't get mad at me. Don't get mad at me. I'm, I'm just repeating. I, I, I'm repeating what I heard, baby girl. Okay, don't get mad at me. I'm just telling you, like, he feels that Isabella hasn't been, has been talking to Aaron and has feelings. Like, he's like, okay, well, my daughter is, like, still connected to Aaron. Like, oh, why are you bringing in someone else? Like, what's going on? Whoa. She's like, I like Jasmine, but what.

[C]

Jasmine was just drunk and she was just starting. And so Michelle's like, she's like, well, you know how it is as a real estate agent. Sometimes you have to bring your baby along. And that's what I did. And Jan's like, so you, Jasmine, you're just hearing Jesse's side, but it's like, not that. It's like, it's, that's, I'm saying it's like more than that. And Jasmine goes, it's not so much that I'm just hearing his side. I just, I heard him out because he was crying to me, and he was very emotional about it. I'm like, what else is new? Jesse will always cry and pull people's heartstrings if he knows he can get some sort of up one up on Michelle. Because, like, all of a sudden you decide to go after Michelle again after their whole stupid scene last week of like, just remember that Isabella was born out of love.

[D]

Yeah. It's bad enough that Jesse's coming At Michelle about this at a party, drunkenly. But then to, like, have one of his friends come up and also do it. It's like, you guys just. It's not the. This is not the right. This is just stupid. So Michelle's friend Natalie comes over now, and she's like, pink or red? Who can say? And Janet's like, okay, so this guy asked her on a date, and she hasn't even gone on a first date yet, so I don't know what the problem is. And Janet's like, that's not what matters. You know what? He has feelings. And his feelings are valid. You guys.

[C]

His feelings are valid. You know, that's. Jesse's feelings are valid.

[D]

So not everybody's feelings are valid all the time.

[C]

Time.

[D]

And I'm sick of everybody saying that. Like, you have feelings, so they're valid. No, sometimes your feelings are stupid and wrong and someone needs to tell you.

[C]

Yeah. So Natalie is. Natalie's like, well, he's painting her to be a bad mother. And Jasmine says, he's not painting her to be nothing, baby. And she's like, yes, he is. She's like, first of all, calm down. Why are you so loud right now? Michelle's like, no, she just has my back. It's like, okay, well, guess what? I have Jesse's back right now because he feels a type of way. She's like, okay, but I'm telling you what's happening. And I heard that. That. And so now he's like, that's his reality. Jasmine's like, well, you know what? You need to calm down and be quiet for a second. She's like, don't tell me what to do. I don't even know who you are.

[D]

It's like, oh, now you're gonna call me names at my wedding? You're gonna call me at my wedding? And Jasmine was like, yes, because you're being loud and I'm trying to talk to her. Michelle's like, wait a minute. This is my best friend. Please do not talk to her like that. That. Natalie's like, okay, Madeline. Well, you're not helping.

[C]

Okay, so why is she so loud? She's like, call me a. Or what? For what? What am I doing? She's like, I'm sorry. I'm from New Jersey. I call everyone A. So I'm so sorry. You call me a.

[D]

And she goes, okay, do you get it? What's the problem then? And now he's like, that is trash. This is trash. And Jasmine's like, I don't care. You're from Chicago. You're trash, too.

[C]

Michelle's like, she's not trash. Yes, man. You don't even know her. But she just called me trash. She's like, you called me a. It's like, but you called her a Jasmine. She's like, but she called.

[D]

But.

[C]

But she called me trash.

[A]

Michelle.

[C]

They're just having a drunk fight and

[D]

call each other Jasmine. Jasmine. Oh, not. She's not coming out on top on

[C]

this one for sure.

[D]

And Jasmine's like, I'm sorry, too. Chicago. I'm sorry. To Chicago. Bye. Oh, no. So then Nia and Zach chat in the kitchen. And Nia's like, well, I've had some conversations. You know, I heard that Kristen said that you're flip floppy with the whole Janet thing, but that I'm manipulating you. And we see Lala telling her this at lunch and she's like, I don't manipulate you. He goes, actually, I'm so glad you're saying this and forcing me to say something about it, which is not manipulation. Yeah.

[C]

And Lala, meanwhile, we have. We see a flashback of all that. And then Nia's like. Nia's like, I'm sorry. Nia's like, yeah. I'm like, can you believe that they're saying I manipulated you? And he's. And she's like, you're the most opinionated person ever. And I feel like I would never manipulate you. Now would you please say you're right, you would never manipulate me. You're so right. You would never manipulate me. Wow, that, like, went out really well.

[D]

If anybody manipulates anybody, I feel like I manipulate you. What kind of argument is that Manipulate anything?

[C]

I'm going to play nothing. You're really happy about it, and you hate Jenna and I do hate Janet. You're giving me so much clarity right now.

[D]

So now Kristen and Lacy come over and he is like, well, I already told Kristen that Lala said I'm a manipulator. And Kristen's like, oh, I mean, to lie. Like I said, were you guys not on the train? Like, did everyone see what was happening on the train? Like, Nia was on the train leaning over and going like, oh, what is that your best friend? Like, she was joking. That's all I was saying. That's not what you said. Lying pants, liar pants. You know that that was on camera, right?

[C]

Yeah, that's like a. It was. It was not just like a hehehaha moment. It was a. It was a smiley. What the are you doing? That's what that was. And Zach's like, whatever. So then Brittany hears him. She's like, hi, I would like to be part of this place. Okay, well, I just heard. I wasn't saying that you manipulate Zayak. It was that. That you were the one that Mike. Zach feel bad for being friends with Janet. And Kristen's like, no, I said she doesn't make him feel bad. Remember when I said that she gives him guilt trips. It means that she makes him feel great about being friends with Janet. What don't you understand about that?

[D]

And Brittany, who's just come over and changed it to make Kristen sound better because Kristen did say Nia manipulates Zach. So Brittany comes over and tries to make what Kristen said more palatable to kind of help Kristen. And Kristen's like, oh, that's not what I said. Britney's like, what? Whoa.

[C]

Kristen.

[D]

So then we say, kristen doing it. Kristen doing this. Like, saying, I do not lay guilt trips on Zach ever. Nia does. I do not. So then Britney's like, you literally said it.

[A]

Nope.

[D]

And Kristen has that psycho smile, by the way, where she's like. She goes, huh? You said it was me. I was like, no, I didn't.

[C]

Kakal.

[D]

And Zach's like, britney, I believe Kristen.

[C]

It's like, oh, my God. I can't believe this. I've been friends with Zach for Octavia. We believe that. We believe that Chris Morton be. They keep pushing this whole thing. Like. Like, it feels like the past few episodes, Britney keeps on doing the same monologue I've known Zach for 18 years ago than that. We're from Kentucky together. Okay. He brings the cheese to my house, and I bring the bear, and we make magic together in the bowl. And this is deeper now. He doesn't believe me. It's been like five episodes in a row. But, like, it hasn't really led to a rift just yet. Maybe at the reunion it will, but they're definitely sowing seeds of something going on between the two of them.

[D]

Yeah. Well, yeah. And they've kind of done that since the first season every time Brittany has a problem.

[C]

So I'm not dying for activity. I can't believe he would do this to me.

[D]

It's like the undying loyalty that Britney wants but won't give somebody in return, you know, because anytime Zach's had a problem with Janet, who's the one she's always sticking up for, she always sticks up for Janet. Now, granted, a lot of times that has. She's been on the right side, but not always. You know, and even when Janet was like, oh, Zach can't come to this thing because I'm terrified for my baby, Brittany still sticks up for Janet. So anyway, but in this one, Kristen is just lying her ass off and Zach's got it wrong. So now Lala joins. So now everybody's kind. Almost everybody's there. And Britney's like, okay, let's clear this up.

[C]

We roll up my photo shoot, right? Did I look good? I just feel so good because I've been wanting to do that for so long. It's been so hard on me. But now I just feel really good. I'm finally glad I did that photo shoot.

[D]

Why am I mad right now? Why am I crying? Somebody remind me.

[C]

La's like, you did say that. Like Chris, that, that Nia guilt trips Zach. Cuz like, you guys, she said it. What are you talking about? She's like, no, I have never in my life said that Nia guilt trips Zach. Cut to a flashback of Nia guilt

[D]

trips Zach and then cut to Kristen telling us what the Britney like besties, ride or die. Okay, so, okay, I did say Nia manipulate Zach. Okay, I said it. But like, did. I mean, he is playing like a puppeteer. Like, no, I mean he is literally like going, how's Janet? Like, it's funny. No, that's not what you said. You're a damn liar.

[C]

This is not a good sense. So now Jesse and Danny sit, go chat on the side. And Danny's like, like, Laa is dumb and Britney is dumb and dumber. See what I'm saying? So it's, it's like. So there's 3D who's. So there's a dumb and a dumb and dumber. Okay, so you realize what you've set out is dumb, dumb, dumb and dumber, which is not the. Okay, so then Jesse's just like, drink some water. You're on camera. Get some water.

[D]

Yeah. So back to them. Lala is like, am I being gaslit or do you genuinely not remember? I gotta get out. I gotta get out. Stop. So she's saying the only reason Kristen's gonna lie about this is because Nia's standing right here, you know, and the ring leader, it is. It's Nia. I knew it was Nia. Nia's running the show.

[C]

I don't think that he is like, running the show. I just think that like Crystal hires to be like Nia. And so like Nia is like unwittingly maybe influencing that side the most. But I don't think she's like some sort of of, you know, villain twisting a mustache or something like that. I think she's just trying to, like, hold on to her fantasy and she's trying to keep her. Her awful man, child, husband in line. And she's also just like, I don't know. I think her house of cards is really shaking right now, and I think she's just focused on that. But then Kristen doesn't see it, and she's just like, neo's the best. I want to be absolutely like Nia with everything I do.

[D]

So, yeah, I don't think Nia's manipulating either. I don't think she cares enough. Zach and Brittany or Zach and Kristen have hated Janet for a long time. That's they don't need to be manipulated. They have somebody on their team. I think they are kind of a team. Just the same way that Janet and Michelle and lala are all a team and team up on people all night long on this show. So they're just teams. And then they got Kristen one team got Kristen alone and started pressuring her. And then Kristen broke and immediately betrayed all of her team. That's why you don't be no matter who you like the best, the team you want to be on is Janet, Michelle, and lala because they're. They're all staying true to each other while this other side will start eating each other the second they get a chance, you know?

[C]

Yeah. I do think, like, just on the point of like, Nia doesn't manipulate. I mean, that moment on the train when Nia and Kristen were like, why are you talking to Janet? It like that did definitely happen. You know, I guess it could be viewed as a manipulation. I saw that more as just like, you're on our team. I thought you were on our team. Where's your loyalty? I think they were putting pressure on him. I didn't see that as, like, capital m manipulation, Although I, you know, I understand people would see it that way. So she's not, like, without flaw. You know, she's not some innocent just, like, trying to keep it all together. Just a harried mom. She is definitely like. Like, she's got some clickiness to her for sure.

[D]

And I think that's what they were doing. They were saying, like, Janet's all of a sudden gonna come and, like, pretend she's best friends with you, and now you're gonna, like, reciprocate and act like you're besties with Janet. What the is that? We were all just talking about her right before this train ride. And now all of a sudden, you know. Clicky. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, clicky. So Danny is. But Danny is drunk. Jesse is babysitting him. Danny is like literally stumbling. He's like stumbling on the. On the terrain. And Jesse is studying him. And then. Then Tom. Tom's asking if the bartenders can get Venmo to. Tom's doing nothing. Thomas, he's like, I don't have cash.

[D]

You guys take Venmo. Oh, really? You didn't know there was going to be a bartender here? Shocker. Shocker Schwartz, the guy who owned a bar.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

Can't tip that. People shocked. Also, is this the part where Danny is standing kind of by a bush and then he's kind of blocking the girls who are at the bar? And then they turn around and start walking towards him and she just stops and looks him up and down like, yes.

[C]

And he's like, I. I fully missed that little scene. I must have looked down or something.

[D]

You did. It was so funny. This really gorgeous girl just turns around and he's just standing right there. And she just. Just gives him an up and down, like, yes. And then walks past him.

[C]

He's like, I would have loved that. I would have loved that.

[D]

So he goes to pass out in the little cabana.

[C]

Doesn't have a problem with drinking. Honestly, I wouldn't even have a problem with anyone needing to lie down at a party. I really don't. But I think in the context of Danny being so full of it and announcing that he is not drinking at all, and yet he also has to pass out in the middle of the party, but he's not drinking at all. Yeah, like, okay, thank you, loser.

[D]

So Jason sees some mess and comes right in and gets on the couch opposite him and he's like, wow, look at us. Haven't talked in a while, huh, Danny? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, obviously I heard about your injury. And no matter our history, whatever, you know, I never wish I punished you or anybody else.

[C]

He's like, I appreciate that, man. And I've heard you had a little tough go. I mean, are you and Lala okay? You guys talked? He's like, lala? It's like, yeah. I mean, didn't you say some pretty mean to her in Mexico? He's like, what? And then Jason's like, well, I heard what you said to her was, no wonder you don't have a husband. No, I never said that. No. What are you talking about? And something along the lines of go back to your miserable life. What? What? That's crazy. I never said any of those things.

[D]

Here is a Danny quote that you. Here's a Danny quote that you can pass on to people. I am a good person.

[C]

Good people don't say things like that. So then Danny is like, I never said that. And then Lala just are. She just knows. She just suddenly appears. She's like, can we sit down and talk? So Lala and Jenna now join. This is.

[D]

This is why Danny, I mean, Danny is just such an idiot. You go lie down, Jason comes in, immediately starts baiting you. Immediately, like you don't see what he's doing. And then Janet and Lala both come in. They both, they all see you without Nia there to protect you. And they all surround like, they all come in. It's obvious. But Danny, you're so fucking stupid that you are this easily tricked. I mean, what an idiot this guy is. God, it's painful.

[C]

Yeah, I know. And Jason's like, I. I just want to clarify everything that happened in Mexico. And Danny's like, well, she said, if this is marriage, then I want nothing to do with it. And I said, well, go back to your husband. See, I never said you don't have a husband. I said, go back to your husband. And then in the negative space of that line, the implication is, she doesn't have a husband to go back to. Sean never actually said it. I just unplug it. Jesus. I'm a good person.

[D]

Well, can you understand how that would be hurtful to Lala? And maybe you would like to apologize to her. Yeah. Okay. And Danny's like, I can never listen and talk to you when you have never apologized about anything you've ever done in your life. It's like, what would you like me to apologize for? Are you kidding me? For the words that you said about me, a good person.

[C]

You think the words I said about you were untrue? I want 100% so you've made no life changes. It's going to happen again. Why would it not? I'm sorry Jason said that, but he was doing an impersonation of Janet in my version. And then Janet's like, yeah, I think that, like, what you did to women. He's like, you weren't even there. She's like, I don't have to be there.

[D]

Yeah. And Danny, you admitted to like, everybody know. This is on the record, stupid. You weren't even there. And. And Jason. What? Jason's never blacked out. She's like, oh, he's blacked out, but he's never grabbed women's asses. And that's the difference. That is the. Which is a pretty big difference, by the way. And Danny goes, well, he doesn't know if he's been blacked out. How would he know if he grabbed any asses? Yeah. Nailed it. Good person, Judge Bukalao. Get out of my courtroom, both of you.

[C]

Janet goes, you are a five foot seven. He goes, no, no, don't insult him. Don't insult him. She goes, oh, yeah, I love this. I love this. She's like, I'm sure you do. So Janet says, if Jason found out that he was blacked out and put his hands on somebody, he would never drink again, ever. He told me this. He said if I woke up and found out that I did what Danny did, I would be devastated. So Jason is like, like, okay, well, I guess I'm just trying to follow your logic, but if I'm. I'm not really able to right now. It's like, well, if you want to have a conversation with me man to man, then we can have that conversation. But not with Dumb and Dumber and Dumber. Dumber overhears.

[D]

Yeah, with Dumb and Dumberist. I. I ain't gonna do that. He's like, whoa, aren't we having a conversation right now? And all that's like, oh, my God, he can't even form a sentence. Like, just. Just, Janet, just let it go. He's not your problem. You know, I was under the impression, okay, Janet's done. Now it's my fight, okay? I heard through the grapevine that you had an apology for me. So he's like, apology for what?

[C]

Wait, wait, who said that? Oh, because maybe Nia implied it at, like, La Rochelle. He's like, what? She's like, okay, well, that's fine. And Jason goes, yeah, it's about what we just talked about. And Lala says, yeah, it's about what you said in Mexico. He's like, yeah, well, I do apologize for saying you should go back to your. Hush. What I really meant to say was, you should go back to your husband and give him the sex that he deserves because he's a man.

[D]

What I meant to say was, wouldn't it be easier for you to talk if you had a penis standing by your side? But you don't lose her. You don't. Only penises by your side make you valid. Janet's like, so that's. That's it. He's like, excuse me, am I talking to You. Am I talking to you? And he starts, like, pointing his finger, and, like. Like, they're over the table, but he, like, gets kind of finger in her facey. Oh, God, this guy.

[C]

Yeah. And Jason, he's like. He puts out his finger, and he's like, put your finger away, dude. And Danny's like, am I talking to you right now? And Jason's like, danny, put your finger away. And Danny's like, what are you gonna do with your bum leg? He's like, I'll still beat your ass with your butt.

[D]

Leg's like. But also starts laughing because she's like, wow, this guy's really gone. And so then Janet gets up and does her reality TV moment. She's like, oh, yeah. Splash. And she throws her drink and then her cup at Danny's head. It's like, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It sort of was out of nowhere, especially because the way they shot, the way they edited it was. They just kept it tight on Danny. So, like, Janet did not do it, like, immediately. There was, like, a little bit of delay where she was like, I wonder if I should throw a drink. I think I should throw a drink.

[D]

Drink.

[C]

I think this would be a funny moment if I threw a drink. I think I'm gonna do the drink. Three, two, one. No, Three, two. No, three. Am I gonna do it on one or am I gonna do it after one? Three. Okay, now I'm gonna throw the drink. It's like. Like 30 seconds have passed, and all of a sudden the little cup comes, like, flying at Danny. Yeah.

[D]

The ever natural Janet.

[C]

But it was.

[D]

This show is. This show is so weak that you're still cheering for Janet. I mean, I was.

[C]

I was like, yes, I love that.

[D]

I mean, aim better because she missed, and she just got the couch. And Brittany's gonna be like, oh, wait a minute.

[C]

I have to clean this couch now.

[D]

You know this.

[C]

I've been through so much in the past 18 years, which she may have missed with some of the liquid, but the little. Little, like, it bounced off his head in this, like, really kind of, like, cartoony way. I was like, boing.

[D]

It would have been perfect if it just landed right on top and fit him like a little hat. Like a little baby.

[C]

Like a little. Like a little fez. Yeah.

[D]

So she does her drink toss, and it's like, yeah, nailed it. See you for another season, everybody.

[C]

He goes.

[D]

He goes, all right, peace out.

[C]

She goes, bye. Adios. She's like, tiny fool. Lala's like, I don't love that you just did that. She's like, I don't care. I don't care. So Lala is like, she tells us, you know, throwing a plastic cup at somebody. Look at this guy. He's incoherent. He's like, handing you who he is on a silver platter. And you just like that, like, you overshadowed his horrendous behaviors. She's kind of right, because now, like, the debate is whether or not Janet should have thrown a cup of whatever it was, vodka or something. Should you have thrown it? Should you not? And it's not about how terrible Danny is right now.

[D]

Janet's given people reason to be like, well, that's assault. And if I, you know, if it were Janet who got a drink on, she would be calling the police and saying it's assault. You know, so now that's the argument. Yeah. So. But, I mean, Danny's really done himself in so much this season that I feel like most of the comments are still like, yes.

[C]

Yeah, I think we're all pretty happy.

[D]

Get him.

[C]

So Danny now, like, walks over to Zach and yeah, he's like, they just. They just threw drinks in my face. And Zach. No, they didn't. And he was like, oh, my God, you're covered. Who did this? Who did this? Who did this to my child? Daniel, can you look at your wife? Daniel. Daniel. Daniel, can you look at me right now?

[D]

Look at me. He's breathing, Doctor. It's beeping faster. Come.

[C]

Can you not look at them, Daniel?

[D]

So Nia's like, daniel is covered in alcohol because Kristen threw a drink in him. And Jasmine's like, oh, no, she did not. No, she didn't. And Chris, now Kristen's getting all riled up. She's like, j, throw drink all over daddy.

[C]

Oh, I am done with Does.

[D]

So now Kristen walks up to Janet and she's like, you should go.

[C]

She goes, what? Just. Do you want me to grab Britney? Kristen's like, to be honest, I would love to throw Janet in the pool, but I'm not gonna give her that satisfaction. And I'm a mom now. I have to mind my business. She just used the mom card on herself.

[D]

So Janet's like, okay, well, then go and tell Britney that I. She should make me leave. Then Kristen, let's see how that turns. And Lala's like, it's not okay that she did what she did, but what's done is done. What's did is did, okay? And she knows she shouldn't have done it, so it's over.

[C]

Now watch Dumbish Dumber Hey. Oh, let's go. Puns. Neil's like, we need to leave. Like, why would we be around terrible humans? My heart is beating through my chest right now, Daniel. He's like, me too.

[D]

Me too. I'm gonna tell everybody here. Good. Boo.

[C]

Daniel, I don't know how you're calm right now. Like, what did you do to get yourself into an altered state that you could be so chill? Well, it wasn't drinking.

[D]

I'm very sober.

[C]

That's why I am relaxed right now.

[D]

I am so glad that I haven't had a drink tonight. Because who knows? I'd be acting if I even had a drink. But, you know, I'm not gonna freak out on them. They're dumbs and the dumbs, dude.

[C]

Hey, before we leave, let me just go to Britney's Drink Jam. I think there's something I left in there a few months ago I need to retrieve. I already got out of there, Danny.

[D]

So Neil's like, please don't call names. Please, Danny. I don't like name calling. It's like, oh, yeah? Well, how about dumb and dumb did it? Because that's what they. They're the past tense of dumbest did it. Daniel, no. Please, Daniel. The language.

[C]

Oh, we're never gonna be friends with those people ever again. And then meanwhile, Tom's like, hey, everyone, it's Michelle's birthday. Oh, my God. Happy birthday to Michelle. And he was like, no, we're not welcome here. Half of the people I don't even want to be around. I would prefer to go home. Daniel. Yes, we're going home. We are going home. We'll just take. Here, I'll transfer. Transform into a bat. Cause I'm count bucular.

[D]

Okay, Daniel. Well, how about. How's this for an idea? I'll get the baby and then we'll go home. Yeah, we kind of assumed you were going to get the baby, Nia. That was. That was kind of implied. You showed up with the baby, so we're all guessing that you're going to get that baby first, but I think she's kind of trying to make it like, Daniel, are you going to be able to stand up, up while I go get the child? He's like, On the wall. Then he fell on a dum, dum, dum, dum. Daniel, please. I can't with the cursing. Our child is here.

[C]

Daniel, can you look at me? Can you look at me? We're going back to Santa Clarita. Can you look at me? So Zach is like, I don't know where we go. Like, I just know Janet has, like, got to get over herself. Like, she's just, like, such a disingenuous human. Like, let's put it this way. If Janet wasn't here, this would be an entirely different dynamic. And Janet's like, well, Jason and I are already where we need to be with this group. We have great friends. I could. I could see being cordial with Kristen and Zach eventually, if they stop drinking the Kool Aid. And the people that we're not friends with, I'm good with that. Like, I'm friends with most people. They're just a few that I don't want anything to do with.

[D]

Yeah, so they're really split down the middle. I mean, and Danny, of course, is like, hey, I don't want anyone to forget. I'm genuinely a really good, good guy. And this isn't just me saying this. This is from many people of wisdom, Preachers, other preachers, basically, anyone I give 10% to. Just read my Google reviews. They all say, danny Buco, good person. And then I say, thanks for the review, toots.

[C]

I don't want to be around anyone that's gonna bring out some of the worst in me. Well, why do you have that worst in you in the first place? You can't blame other people for your own behavior, sir.

[D]

Then you should probably stop hanging out with Belvedere, sir. Mr. Belvedere. Because he seems to be doing a. A magic number on your bloodstream. You idiot. You do this to yourself.

[C]

Streaks on the china. They did matter before. That's what we've learned.

[D]

So what do you think is going to happen? Do you think they're going to bring back everybody? I mean, this show does really well in the ratings, but, yeah, when they're so split on Housewives, if they're the split, it's like you are on pause. We cannot. We can no longer condone this splittedness. Either you all make up or that's it. So what do you think?

[C]

I mean, mean, they're split, but they're not like, they're. They're not, like, as, like, dramatically split as some other shows where it's like, oh, there's a real problem here. But I do think that, like, Danny and Nia, I don't know if they'll come back. I think that. Yeah, I think is gonna do whatever Danny does. I think Danny does love the fame, but he probably, like, hates the way he feels like he's being portrayed, and he feels like it's probably cancel culture and it's just like with the woke left, and it's people who are like snowflakes and people who feel triggered. He's gonna use all those buzzwords and be like, I don't want to be around all that. So I think that this is gonna be the end for them.

[D]

Yeah, I think it's the end for them, too. And Danny's, you know, he loved it. He loved the fame while he was more popular and people were anti Janet. But now that it's turned and we've seen what a shithead Danny is, I think he's not gonna be able to take it. It.

[C]

He won't be able to because I think he has created a Persona in his mind of himself that he's like the good, good, fun times Danny. He's like the life of the party. He's the kid actor who just is like wild and crazy. He gets in these characters and everyone laughs. And this is like. I think it shakes his own sense of self a bit too much or it sort of. It rattles the image that he's constructed of himself. And it's too hard to too. It's too hard to dismantle that for him. And so he probably will just pivot to a different arena where he can sort of like, be this way. Like maybe host like a travel show for, like, Great American country or something. Like, this is just like. I think this is it, you know?

[D]

Yeah, I'm. I'm thinking so too. Do you think they're going to bring back Sheener and Brock?

[C]

Maybe, But I think it's. I think we need a new couple in there.

[D]

Yeah, that's what I think.

[C]

We need fresh blood. You need fresh blood. I don't. I. I think Sheena and Brock would be great on the show. Personally, I know people like no more Sheena and Brock. I think. Why not? I think Sheena is. She is a seasoned reality pro. She is. She does what she does very well. Brock is like, whatever, but it's. Let's have no shorts. Lala did great. Lala surpassed everyone's expectations. And she was. She really, like, she brought it and she did a wonderful job. I think we just need some. Bring in some new couples souls to sort of.

[D]

I don't know. I don't need Lala back. I don't need Lala back either. I mean, Lala just comes in and kind of. It's like, okay, what's on the agenda today? Okay, I'm gonna fight for Janet again. Okay, I'm gonna fight for so and so. I mean, I don't. I don't know. She doesn't really have anything going on. I would say not really. Lala. I'd say get rid of Lala and Tom, bring in a new couple.

[C]

Definitely.

[D]

And let's see.

[C]

To go, Tom has to go. Like, that was a real big mistake. I don't. There's no. I don't see any way that they keep Tom for another season. Like, he literally. He was friend of energy and he got main cast billing and that's just a waste of Bravo's money.

[D]

Well, I don't know that they spend that much on the show, but that's true. Too true. And their ratings are pretty huge, so they might not make any changes at all. Who knows?

[C]

Well, let's see who.

[D]

Guess we'll find out because what. We've got a lot of reunion coming up. Do you know if this one gets a two part or a three part? Did they say three parts? Three parter. Jesus. All right, well, here we go. Get ready to relitigate.

[C]

Can't wait. Thanks, everyone, for being here. We'll catch you on the next episode. Bye.

[D]

And bye.

[C]

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[D]

I mean, I just have. It is delicious. Caesar sauce is like a parmesan garlicky blend with some lemon in it and you can dip anything in there.

[C]

One thing I have been known to do is to stop over at McDonald's and go through the drive through and get myself a Caesar snack wrap and just dip some fries in the Caesar sauce. Also the crispy strips in the Caesar sauce. Honestly, try. It's really good.

[D]

Listen, I say if you put Caesar sauce on something, that automatically makes it better. Yes. That's really all you need is the Caesar sauce.

[C]

I think I just want to have just a constant supply of Caesar sauce and put it on things at all times.

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