Watch What Crappens Episode #412 Dwell Hello: Dreaming in Los Angeles

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: June 13, 2024

Overview

In this lively episode of Dwell Hello, the Watch What Crappens duo—Ben and Ronnie—recap and mercilessly roast the House Hunters episode, "Dreaming in Los Angeles" (Volume 7, Season 169, Episode 2). The focus is on a couple, Cat (from Australia) and Joe (originally from New Jersey), as they search for their dream home in LA. Ben and Ronnie blend their firsthand LA knowledge and signature biting humor to dissect the couple, their home options, and LA real estate culture, offering listeners a hilarious yet insightful journey through gentrification, home-buying nightmares, and the quirks of LA living.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Hosts’ Personal LA Ties and Setting the Scene

• Ronnie is returning to LA from Texas, specifically contemplating whether to move back to West Hollywood or try a new neighborhood, referencing the neighborhood's issues playfully:

  "It was getting a little methy over there. And by that I don’t mean messy. I mean messy, but with method." (02:15)

• The episode and its central couple serve as a springboard for Ben and Ronnie’s own LA anecdotes, often skewering LA’s ever-changing neighborhoods, malls, and the unique nature of city living.

2. Meet the House Hunters Couple: Cat & Joe

• Cat: Australian, well-traveled, outspoken, wants a Spanish-style home with no “projects” (i.e., no fixer-uppers).

• Joe: From New Jersey, sports a ponytail and beard, works in “business development” for a camera rental company, gets endlessly teased for his supposed body odor and constant eyebrow movements.

  "Eyebrow Y. He’s very eyebrowy. He has like, eyebrow... Did you notice his eyebrow movements? He just kept moving his eyebrows up and down really fast. Like every time he talks, he moves his eyebrow. He’s like a Wii character, you know, on the Wii, Nintendo Wii..." (04:41)

3. The Apartment & Motivation to Move

• The couple’s current cramped West Hollywood apartment is lampooned for its lack of AC, space, and modern appliances. Both Cat and Joe crave more room, and Cat is especially eager for a dishwasher and in-unit laundry.

  "What I'm trying to say is I've made a huge mistake. I went from traveling the world to living in this, and I don't know what to do with myself anymore." (19:18)

• The hosts roast the couple’s aspirations versus realistic LA budgets:

  "...all for the grand budget of up to $850,000, which means here is a nice little raft with a hot pot that you can go sit in the Pacific Ocean on..." (23:42)

4. The Neighborhood Debate: West Hollywood vs. Highland Park vs. Glendale

• Cat and Joe’s Dilemma: Stay in desirable—but expensive—West Hollywood, or branch into "cool" but more affordable neighborhoods like Highland Park and Glendale.

• Ben & Ronnie’s take on LA neighborhood divides:

  • LA’s geography makes a 15-mile move feel insurmountable due to traffic and freeway changes (25:46).

  • The “inevitability” of gentrifying couples like Cat & Joe ending up in Highland Park is noted with wry sarcasm:

    "...that’s the trajectory. When you see a couple like this in LA, especially in West Hollywood, their trajectory is always Highland Park." (28:32)

  • The reality of “location incompatibility”—if friends or family live on the other side of LA, you just give up physical contact.

5. House #1: The Blue Craftsman in Highland Park

• Described as “Mets blue” with an “orange door,” this fixer-upper elicits strong feelings:

  • Ben: Amazed they complain about the color, given the price and location.
  • Ronnie: Roasts Cat for not knowing what a craftsman house is, or later, a shower nozzle.

  "I don't know why I hate Cat, but I'm like, furious with Cat. She doesn't know what anything is. She doesn’t know what a craftsman is. She doesn’t know what a shower nozzle is. I can't with Cat." (33:53)

• The hosts call out the couple’s endless complaints—comparing their nightmare avocado tree experiences and lack of appreciation for “projects” worth their price.

  • On LA’s notorious homegrown avocados:

    "There’s never been a soft avocado that’s been homegrown in Los Angeles, ever. Glad we settled that." (39:27)

6. House #2: West Hollywood Condo

• White, sterile modern flip in a classic “round” LA apartment building on a hills cul-de-sac.
• Downsides include tiny space for the price, high HOA ($670), ugly raised sinks, and confusing modern stovetop hoods.
• The couple are confused by standard features (hoods, detachable shower heads), which leads to some of the episode’s best exasperated jokes.

  “What is that? He’s like, a detachable shower head. Really? What is it though? A shower head that detached? Disgusting.” (52:17)

7. House #3: Spanish-Style in Glendale

• The only option fulfilling Cat’s Spanish-style dream, but it’s dated, with an old kitchen and flooring, and an uninspiring backyard.
• Cat and Joe aspire to fit a “California king” bed—Ben and Ronnie riff on the increasingly absurd world of giant mattress types (Alaskan, Olympic, Texas king, etc.), poking fun at the couple’s delusions of grandeur.

8. The Decision & Aftermath

• After much deliberation and complaints, Cat & Joe choose the Highland Park blue craftsman, planning to repaint the front door red ("barely a hue different") and customize the place.

  "You guys really put your stamp on that one. Wow." (60:22)

• The “cat room” (for Chomsky the cat), is set up in a little extra space—the only truly happy resident.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On LA Apartment Life & Aspirations

  "You want the same walkability, but not in West Hollywood. Just...as much Dick. Is that possible? Can we find that somewhere?”
  — Ronnie (25:16)

• On Neighborhood Gentrification

  “My family’s been here since the 60s, so—holler to gentrification. Am I right? So glad to be here for the downfall of this neighborhood and helping it happen. Guys, get in the back seat, we are kicking abuela out of her home.”
  — Ronnie (29:27)

• On LA Home Prices

  “...for the grand budget of up to $850,000, which means here is a nice little raft with a hot pot that you can go sit in the Pacific Ocean on, because that’s what you’re gonna get..."
  — Ben (23:42)

• On Raised Sinks

  “Just for next time, can you please just not show me? A place has sinks that rise out of the counters that are being recessed into them? Thanks so much.”
  — Ben (51:43)

• On Shower Nozzles

  “Is that a snake? There’s a snake in the shower where a shower head’s supposed to be. Am I supposed to shower with a snake?”
  — Ben (52:17)

• On California King Beds

  "Guess what? I’ve done everything I need to do in life. I’m getting a California king."
  — Ronnie (57:08)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Intro & LA House-Hunting Context – 01:13–04:00
• Cat & Joe’s Quirks and Apartment Life – 04:32–19:59
• Neighborhood Navigation & Geography Riffs – 25:46–30:49
• House #1: Blue Highland Park Craftsman – 31:28–43:33
• House #2: West Hollywood Condo – 45:02–53:27
• House #3: Spanish Home in Glendale – 53:42–59:00
• Decision & Wrap-Up – 59:58–61:09

Tone & Style

The episode is marked by fast-paced, irreverent banter, inside jokes about Bravo personalities, self-deprecating LA in-jokes, and a relentless skewering of House Hunters tropes. Ben & Ronnie keep it tongue-in-cheek, playful, and deeply local, making it a must-listen for Bravo fans and LA locals (or haters) alike.

Summary

Ben and Ronnie deliver a raucous yet insightful rundown of House Hunters: Dreaming in Los Angeles. Through the saga of Cat and Joe, the hosts illuminate LA’s housing pains, the pitfalls of gentrification, and the comedy of home-buying wish lists vs. reality—all wrapped in relentless sarcasm and smart cultural jabs. If you love reality real estate shows, LA, or just hearing two experts roast people for not knowing what a shower nozzle is, this episode is pure gold.