Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens – #413 "Dwell Hello: Second Goa Around in India" (June 27, 2024)
Episode Overview
In this episode of Watch What Crappens, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam recap an infamous "House Hunters International" installment titled “Second Goa Around in India” (Season 138, Episode 6 on Max). The hosts provide their signature snarky, loving, and sharp-witted commentary as they follow the journey of Danielle, an impulsive American expat searching for a new start (and a fireproof home) in Goa, India, after a string of misadventures.
The episode satirizes Danielle’s nomadic lifestyle, her whimsical approach to self-reinvention, and her flaky decision-making, with her friend Haley playing the unwilling voice of reason. The hosts relish the absurdity of the house hunt, Danielle's dubious backstory, and the cultural clashes that ensue.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. The Character Study: Danielle
- Danielle, newly arrived in Goa, claims to be a former fashion designer from LA reinventing herself after her first house in India caught on fire and she broke up with her partner.
- Ben & Ronnie have doubts about Danielle’s reliability and life skills:
- “Let me tell you, her luck is not going to change because Danielle is a gigantic flake.” (Ronnie, 02:41)
- Her decisions—moving to Goa after seeing it on social media, swiftly choosing a house, and subsequent disasters—are lampooned.
- The hosts ridicule Danielle’s attempts to manifest “good juju,” her inconsistent ambitions (fashion! digital nomad! curries!), and her habit of mooching off others—especially her friend Haley, whom she clings to throughout.
2. Haley: The Frenemy Guide
- Haley, styled as a hippie, is Danielle’s local friend and sidekick in house hunting but is obviously exasperated.
- Despite surface “hippie” vibes, Haley is pragmatic, openly skeptical of Danielle’s choices, and clearly wants her further away.
- “Haley’s dislike of this woman is so palpable to me. She cannot stand any choice she makes.” (Ben, 13:39)
3. House Hunting in Goa: The Properties
House #1: The Portuguese “Glamp”
- Small, semi-open roof, exposed beams and wires, resident cat.
- Danielle idealizes its “glamping” vibe; Haley sees a pest haven. Outdoor bathroom + fire ants cap the tour.
- “Where’s the swimming pool?” (Ronnie, 18:12)
- “It’s just going to be me and my street dog with rabies.” (Ben, 20:40)
- Instead of joy, Ben & Ronnie predict literal and figurative sparks.
House #2: The “Resort” by the Jungle
- Bigger, open design, closer to the beach, but surrounded by trees—ripe for monsoon invasions.
- Danielle fawns over its “blank canvas” feel and befriends a stray dog outside, while Haley warns about snakes and pests during monsoon season.
- The hosts mock Danielle’s adulting fantasies:
- “This girl is cosplaying adulting. How old do you think this girl is? She’s 30, right?” (Ronnie, 29:18)
House #3: The Room Behind the Tailor Shop
- Small, colorful, sealed roof (no snakes!), has A/C, near Haley, and laundry services.
- Danielle is underwhelmed—it’s “too small” and awkwardly close to a tailor (“I’m trying to leave fashion!”).
- Haley (and the hosts) consider it her only realistic option:
- “Haley made her choose the last one because she’s not gonna take the first one. So Haley’s like, okay, you can live next to me. Okay?” (Ronnie, 48:25)
4. Broader Satire: Expat & Digital Nomad Fantasies
- The hosts lampoon “digital nomad” dreams: Danielle wants to do “website and graphics… never done it, but, you know, #vanlife.”
- Her failed careers, from selling glow sticks in Finland to faux-fashion in LA, become running gags:
- “You can’t really switch from something you never had in the first place.” (Ronnie, 25:16)
- The American-in-India clueless expat stereotype is skewered—from interacting with cows and cats like tourists to assuming locals are delighted by her presence.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
Danielle’s Flaky Logic
- “Maybe you should challenge yourself to actually work. Just not make it work. Just work.” (Ben as Haley, 03:37)
- “You know when they say, when you want to find…a house that sparks joy? This one literally sparked.” (Ronnie, 10:01)
On Goa and Cultural Cluelessness
- “[Danielle:] ‘My parents really loved to travel and I think that’s how I got addicted to moving so much. I’ve lived in six countries, kicked out of all of them by the locals.’” (Ben, 04:03)
- “You know, they just, you know what they love? They love seeing a white woman.” (Ronnie, 08:04)
On Haley’s Suffering
- “Haley’s dislike of this woman is so palpable…she cannot stand any choice she makes.” (Ben, 13:39)
- “Haley’s a hero.” (Ronnie, 19:34)
Satirizing “Digital Nomad” Life
- “You know what? I want to do hyperlinks and HTMLs.” (Ben as Danielle, 24:53)
- “I’m only working on redirects from now on. It’s like my thing. I’m a digital nomad.” (Ronnie, 25:11)
Peak Absurdity
- “When I lived in Finland, I sold glow sticks at a nightclub. When I lived in London, I sold knockoff blue jeans…” (Ronnie mocking Danielle, 44:44)
- “Your manifestor is broken.” (Ronnie, 47:32)
- “You peaked in Finland. I’ll say it.” (Ben, 47:41)
Danielle’s Epilogue
- Danielle pronounces her new life in the small house a “spectacular experience,” having adopted the local dog.
- “[Ronnie:] Yeah, I doubt it. I will tell you that. I will give you two months.” (49:32)
- “[Ben:] This girl is going to kick your ass out of her life...your mother is still not going to call you back.” (49:37)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 02:40 – Recap starts: Introduction to Danielle’s life and disaster in Goa
- 12:07 – How house hunting works in Goa (no agents, just asking around)
- 16:27 – Tour of House #1 (small, semi-open roof, “glamping”)
- 27:36 – Tour of House #2 (the “resort” by the jungle and stray dog)
- 34:47 – Danielle’s failed careers montage
- 38:21 – Tour of House #3 (behind the tailor, the “realistic” choice)
- 47:32 – “Your manifestor is broken”—satire peaks over Danielle’s magical thinking
- 48:49 – Decision time and epilogue: Danielle moves in, vows it’s forever (hosts doubt her)
- 49:47 – Final host predictions on Danielle’s fate and their closing thoughts
Tone and Style
Ben and Ronnie maintain their hallmark blend of biting satire, deadpan delivery, and affectionate mockery of Bravo reality tropes. Their improv roasts, quick character work (channeling both Danielle and Haley), and comedic asides keep the recap energetic and hilarious.
Summary for the Uninitiated
If you’ve never seen “House Hunters International: Second Goa Around in India,” this recap delivers both a play-by-play of Danielle’s calamitous quest for a new home in Goa and a send-up of self-styled “digital nomads.” The episode is a comedy of errors featuring dubious charm (“I saw Goa on social media and just moved!”), questionable life choices (dog adoption, impulsive real estate, appropriative accents), escalating tension with her only friend, and the most withering yet oddly affectionate snark about expats lost abroad.
In signature Watch What Crappens style, the recap lovingly eviscerates both the show and its subject—making it as hilarious for new listeners as for the Bravo-obsessed.
For Further Listening
- Listener suggestions for future “Dwell Hello” episodes are encouraged via email—subject line: “Dwell Hello suggestion.”
- For those craving more, bonus and ad-free episodes are available on Patreon.