Watch What Crappens – Dwell #420: NYC Woman Seeks Love in Amsterdam

Date: October 3, 2024
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Episode Recapped: House Hunters International, Volume 8, Season 194, Episode 3

Episode Overview

In this episode of "Dwell," Ben and Ronnie recap and riff on a House Hunters International episode where Colleen, an NYC woman, heads to Amsterdam to find love, a new life, and the perfect apartment. The hosts blend their trademark sass, Bravo-style mock analysis, and real estate ridicule, all while diving into Colleen’s search, plant medicine dreams, and notable foray into spiritual retreats – not to mention her celebrity connection as Tara Reid’s sister.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introductions & Episode Selection [00:00–02:00]

• Ben and Ronnie thank listeners for tuning in on Wondery Plus and explain their Dwell series, focusing on House Hunters International.
• Listener Angela suggested the featured Amsterdam episode, earning her shoutouts:

  “Angela. Good choice, babe.” – Ben [01:24]

Colleen & Her Amsterdam Ambitions [02:00–09:30]

• Scene set: Colleen (main subject) travels Amsterdam with her (over-enthusiastic) realtor Sarah.
• Colleen attributes her trouble finding love in NYC to the city itself, to which Ronnie retorts:

  “Plenty of people get laid and find love in New York City. Sometimes it's not the city, it's you.” – Ronnie [02:42]

• Colleen's TV-esque analogies and desire for a "fairy tale" love are mocked:

  “Getting a second date is like getting a second season of a TV show.” – Ben [02:55]

Colleen’s Connection to Tara Reid [06:10–08:50]

• The hosts unveil Colleen is sister to actress Tara Reid. Clues include family photos and her last name, “Reid,” and Ben confirms with research, adding:

  “She looks exactly like Tara Reid. And… It’s not a coincidence because they’re sisters.” – Ben [06:26]

• Side banter about Tara Reid’s career and the notorious Ketchup restaurant adds levity.

Colleen’s Backstory: Career Shift & Plant Medicine [09:30–14:50]

• Colleen’s corporate ad sales gig in NYC is discussed, segueing into her pivot to "plant medicine" and leading “spirit retreats” in Amsterdam.
• Hosts are skeptical (and snarky) about her leap:

  “You went from advertising to plant medicine in Amsterdam? Lady, put down the pipe.” – Ronnie [10:40] “If I'm going to be getting plant medicine from Tara Reid's sister, I would expect a FaceTime from Tara Reid, too.” – Ben [14:29]

• Ronnie questions Colleen’s “stability”:

  “I do not believe you currently have stability. I think you are a basket case and a mess, and this is your last stab at having any kind of a life.” – Ronnie [14:53]

Colleen & Sarah: Realtor/Bestie Dynamics [15:00–18:15]

• Colleen, 42, is seeking love, a family, and a canal apartment; Sarah (the realtor) comes across as needy, invasive, and over-the-top, quickly shifting from agent to “best friend.”
• Sarah’s exaggerated attempts at intimacy cause clear discomfort as the search progresses:

  “By the end of the episode, she can barely tolerate Sarah's presence. It's hilarious.” – Ben [18:20]

• The housing market in Amsterdam is painted as difficult—“small, congested, water everywhere, housing crisis, shortage, so many tall men blocking up the streets.” – Ronnie [17:36]

Apartment Hunt: House-by-House Breakdown

House #1: Hip and Edgy [21:16–26:52]

• Location: Up-and-coming, “hipster” neighborhood with younger demographic.
• Features: 1.5 beds, one bath, under budget, includes a “nursery,” which the hosts mercilessly lampoon.

  “Here’s the nursery for the baby that you think you’re going to have. Enjoy.” – Ben [23:00]

• Colleen is wary of feeling like “a fifth year senior in a freshman dorm.” [30:39]

House #2: Fairy Tale Canal Apartment [36:15–41:44]

• Location: Canal ring, classic Amsterdam scene, but $400 over budget.
• Features: Spacious, modern, updated, with iconic canal views—everything Colleen dreamed of.
• Discussion: Colleen is both dazzled and anxious about the cost and practicality.
• Ronnie quips:

  “$3,000 could be a challenge. I mean, I've saved some money, but funds are finite, and so is your uterus, honey. You better make a choice.” – Ronnie (mocking Sarah) [39:44]

House #3: Posh Older Neighborhood [47:01–51:04]

• Location: South of the canal ring, “Little Paris.”
• Features: 1.5 beds, stylish, surrounded by age-appropriate peers (read: older and/or retired/divorced).
• Hosts joke about age, divorcees, and the inevitability of dying alone in such a setting:

  “Stairs. So small oven, stairs. It's a real backbreaker. God, you're gonna die alone here. Okay, sound fine.” – Ben [47:33]

• Colleen is exhausted by Sarah’s endless attempts to solidify their “best friend” status, resenting the forced intimacy and bed-jumping rituals.

Comic Interludes & Notable Quotes

• On Amsterdam’s dating scene and manifesting love:

  “She thinks she can manifest a man. I don't think that's how it works. I think manifesting only works for parking spaces, honestly.” – Ronnie [33:20]

• On brutal real estate honesty:

  “This is called the nursery, also known as the museum of your dead dreams. Let's go in here. Check it out. Giraffe wallpaper. Isn't that fun?” – Ronnie [27:43]

• Sarah’s relentless neediness:

  “Are we best friends right now, or are we best friends? Right. Has anybody ever loved you more than I do right now? Look into my eyes. Seriously, look into them. Are there hearts? Are there hearts or pupils?” – Sarah (as performed by Ronnie) [30:39]

• On practicalities of Amsterdam vs New York living:

  “Canal ring… someone decided they would rather put a ring around the city than this lady's finger.” – Ben [36:29] “Now I'm focusing on my studies, but I will develop a business one day. I just got that view. It makes it all.” – Colleen (mocked by Ronnie) [54:01]

Selection & Aftermath [52:46–54:28]

• Colleen chooses the fairy tale canal apartment (House #2), embracing her “fairy tale” albeit at a higher rent.

  “In the end, she actually chooses the fairy tale. And then we come back three months later, and we go into Colleen's apartment, and she just has, like, shoes and junk all over the place. She's like, well, here I am. I moved into the new place, and it's great. I love it. Sarah shows up at my door every single day, and I have to pretend like I'm not home.” – Ben [53:03]

• Banter continues about the challenges, payoffs, and ridiculousness of chasing dreams abroad.

Memorable Moments & Running Jokes

• Ronnie and Ben’s running bit about Sarah’s cloying best-friend moves, Colleen’s “manifestation,” and lampooning the “nursery of dead dreams.”
• The Tara Reid connection provides a springboard for jokes about second seasons, reality TV, and plant medicine.
• Amsterdam is simultaneously hyped and roasted for dating, housing, bikes, and its not-so-chill reality.

Timestamps to Key Segments

• [02:03] – House hunting begins, Colleen’s woes in NYC dating revealed
• [06:10] – Discovery Colleen is Tara Reid’s sister
• [10:40] – Shift to plant medicine and career change discussion
• [21:16] – First apartment tour: “Hip and Edgy”
• [36:15] – Second apartment tour: the “Fairy Tale” canal home
• [47:01] – Third apartment tour: older, posh neighborhood
• [53:03] – Reveal: Colleen picks her dream (canal) apartment
• [54:01] – Quick post-move catch-up and episode close

Style & Tone

The hosts blend Bravo-style snark, pop culture riffs, reality TV knowledge, and affectionate mockery, keeping it light-hearted, raunchy, and hilarious—showing love (and shade) for both the show’s subject and the ridiculousness of international house hunting.

Conclusion

This episode offers Ben & Ronnie at their best: part real estate satire, part therapy for Bravo fans, and part sisterly roast. If you delight in reality TV commentary, cringe-friendly house hunts, and the absurdities of chasing romantic and lifestyle dreams abroad (especially as delivered by irreverent friends), this Dwell installment is a must-listen.