Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens – Dwell Hello #304: Love in Action in Puerto Vallarta

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Episode: Dwell Hello #304
Date: February 22, 2023

Overview

In this hilariously biting episode, Ben and Ronnie recap and roast a recent House Hunters International episode titled “Love in Action in Puerto Vallarta” (Season 181, Ep. 4). The star is Milan Devi Labre, a dog-obsessed, self-proclaimed online educator and ex-actress (possibly on the run?), who—along with her beloved dog “Leah” (“Love in Action”)—is searching for a new beginning in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. The Crappens boys dissect Milan’s puzzling backstory, questionable life choices, and delusional real estate expectations with their trademark blend of mockery and affection.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Character Sketch of Milan Devi Labre

• Tongue-in-cheek speculation about Milan’s real backstory
  • Ronnie and Ben riff on Milan’s mysterious and glamorous self-reinvention, suggesting she’s a runaway waitress turned “doctor/actress/keynote speaker/romance novelist” with a self-styled international persona—running from her past (and possibly a diner owner named Mel).
  • "I feel like she was running from something or somebody..." – Ronnie (04:08)
• Her name and brand:
  • Milan is “Milan” because she likes Milan; “Devi” means goddess in Sanskrit; “Labre” seems made-up for flair.
  • “No white girl is named Milan Devi Labre.” – Ronnie (02:36)
• Instagram detective work:
  • Ben and Ronnie check Milan’s Instagram and IMDb, discovering her acting credits ("Peninsula," "Gracious Revenge"), a quote-filled bio, pet product businesses, and very filtered pictures—different from her reality-TV persona.
  • “She’s the founder of Kitty O Go, co-founder of Kittio Tech, she’s an actress, an author... an international keynote speaker.” – Ben (07:59)
  • “That’s not her face on Instagram. I don’t know who she thinks she’s…” – Ronnie (08:08)
• Level of obsession with her dog, Leah:
  • Every decision features the dog—her “love in action.”
  • “This dog wants to just run the hell away. She does not put the dog down ever.” – Ronnie (11:22)
  • "Me and Leah against the world. I'm telling you, she's run away from something." – Ronnie (12:17)

2. Milan’s Real Estate Journey

• Unrealistic expectations collide with reality:

  • Milan wants a beach-front, two-bedroom, nice kitchen, pet-friendly home for $750/month.
  • The rental market is “exploded”; even her realtor, Danielle, is dubious.
  • “She has designer expectations and knockoff budget and also knockoff taste. Look at her trash bags.” – Linda (10:28)
  • “You want a place for 750, a two-bedroom on the beach for $750.” – Ronnie (16:27)

• Touring Properties – The Comedy of Disappointment:

  House #1 – The Yellow House ($900/mo)

  • Authentic Mexican neighborhood, eight blocks from beach, lots of yellow, bedroom is just a mattress in the foyer.
  • Milan is unimpressed with distance to beach and the presence of chickens, but loves the kitchen ("Is this sink made out of beans?").
  • “Wow, you could fit a person in there [the oven]. Not that I would. Don't worry, Leah.” – Ronnie (24:16)
  • “But chickens. And it’s far.” – Milan (46:10)

  House #2 – Poolside One-Bedroom

  • Ten-minute walk to the beach, pool, stone walls, smaller kitchen, questionable bathroom.
  • She loves the pool, is “obsessed” with the stove, but worries about privacy—people might be able to see her.
  • “But I am concerned about the size and the privacy. I just feel like I'm just very much on display.” – Milan (36:24)

  House #3 – Near the Beach, No Oven

  • Five-minute walk to beach, loud and crowded location, no oven (crushing for a wannabe baker), balcony is overlooked by other apartments.
  • Milan is dissatisfied with privacy and noise, but is tempted by beach proximity.
  • “I love the vaulted ceilings, but I Have never seen an invisible stove before. Oh, never before, Daniel.” – Milan (42:48)

3. Hilarious Analysis of Milan’s Mental State & Dog Devotion

• Milan’s “balanced” life involves giving up all her requirements just to be a little closer to the beach.
• Persistent jokes that Milan is projecting a whole identity and Instagram “brand” onto her dog.
  • “Hashtag love the kitchen. Hashtag bullying works. Hashtag I love this space. I mean, hashtag bomb.com, hashtag authentic Mexican space.” – Ben (25:05)
• Outfits for Leah, possibly homemade, always matching her own:
  • “She looks like she's wearing little napkin rings around at one point. Not really sure what she's doing with this.” – Ronnie (29:44)
• Ben compares the Instagram pet-parent culture to Valentine’s Day pressure:
  • “Every older gay guy who's dying alone is on Instagram kissing their dog. I refuse to do it.” – Ronnie (28:40)
• The pair riff on Milan’s delusions about local economies in “developing countries”; she’s not getting a palace for pennies.
  • “They keep coming to these countries, and they're like, no, no, you stupid, privileged person. That's not how it works. We have an economy here, too.” – Ben (21:07)

4. Realtor Danielle & Supporting Cast Commentary

• Danielle (the realtor) is patient but increasingly exasperated by Milan’s demands and lack of budget reality.
  • “Milan’s never been to Puerto Vallarta and knows nothing, which means my work is going to double or triple...” – Danielle, paraphrased by Ben (15:09)
• Linda, the snarky commentator, delivers savage asides.
  • “Milan needs to grow the fuck up.” – Linda (39:29)
  • “So far, Milan’s learned the space she wants won’t fit into her $750 price point. But there is a trash can she can hobble into and call home.” – Linda (31:00)

5. Final Decision and Recap

• Despite swearing she “loves to bake,” Milan opts for the no-oven/no-privacy/noise-ridden apartment purely for its slightly closer proximity to the beach.
  • “She’s gonna give up an oven. She’s gonna give up an oven. So that way she has a five minute shorter walk to the beach.” – Ben (47:21)
  • Ronnie laments the delusion: “…a delusional poor person, which is even worse than normal poor people, because it’s poor people who expect things. Good luck, Milan.” (45:03)
• The hosts agree she made the worst possible choice, passing over the charming, pool-equipped house for the sake of “beach balance.”

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “No white girl is named Milan Devi Labre.” – Ronnie (02:36)
• “This dog wants to just run the hell away. She does not put the dog down ever.” – Ronnie (11:22)
• “She has designer expectations and knockoff budget and also knockoff taste. Look at her trash bags.” – Linda (10:28)
• “I love the vaulted ceilings, but I Have never seen an invisible stove before.” – Milan (42:48)
• “Every older gay guy who's dying alone is on Instagram kissing their dog. I refuse to do it.” – Ronnie (28:40)
• “But chickens. And it’s far.” – Milan (46:10)
• “Milan needs to grow the fuck up.” – Linda (39:29)
• “She’s gonna give up an oven. She’s gonna give up an oven. So that way she has a five minute shorter walk to the beach.” – Ben (47:21)

Key Timestamps

• 00:36: Show intro – episode context and basic premise
• 02:20: Dissecting Milan’s name and invented persona
• 07:40: Investigating Milan’s online “doctor”/influencer presence
• 09:20: Description of Milan’s TV persona and dog devotion
• 14:29: Introduction of “love in action” dog name
• 16:27: Milan’s unrealistic budget and expectations
• 21:07: Economic reality check for American expats
• 28:40: Ben’s monologue about Instagram dog-parenting and loneliness
• 31:00: Linda’s snark on Milan’s options
• 39:29: Linda urges Milan to grow up
• 47:21: Milan picks the worst choice—just to be five minutes closer to the beach

Final Thoughts

Ben and Ronnie deliver a riotous, whip-smart takedown of a classic House Hunters character—one who embodies expat delusion, pet obsession, and the American fantasy of “escaping” to paradise on a shoestring. Their recap is packed with comedic riffs, off-the-wall theories, social commentary on privilege, and plenty of Bravo-style snark. Through Milan’s journey, the hosts skewer both HGTV expectations and real estate naiveté—reminding listeners that whether you’re “doctor” or dog mom, reality (and rent) always wins.