Dwell Hello 323: Chasing Home, Heart and Hope in Sydney

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Watch What Crappens
Episode: "Dwell Hello 323: Chasing Home, Heart and Hope in Sydney"
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: November 23, 2023

This episode dives into a memorable and uniquely awkward episode of House Hunters International, specifically "Chasing Home, Heart and Hope in Sydney." Ben and Ronnie, joined briefly by their (faux) cast of characters, unpack the antics, emotional weirdness, and wild characters featured in the real estate hunt of Maddie—a globetrotting chocolate factory quality controller moving to Sydney—and her “tour guide,” the indelibly odd Flinders. The hosts lovingly eviscerate everything from budgets to botched romances, blending Bravo-style banter with classic House Hunters mockery.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Season Reflections & Guest Suggestions

• The hosts open with playful banter about their extended season and appreciate listener suggestions, specifically thanking Anne for recommending this very episode as one of the “most awkward half hours” of House Hunters (03:09).
• “We mock because we love!” is central to the show’s tone (opening minutes).

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2. Introducing the Episode: Maddie & Flinders

• Maddie moves from Luxembourg to Sydney, looking for a new home. She’s introduced on a tourist bus driven by Flinders, a Sydney native with a questionable level of personal interest.
• Ben: "Maddie is, like, very empty. Like, she is sort of like an empty vessel of a human. She just sort of is blank." (05:58)
• Ronnie references Maddie's similarity to Hannah from The Bachelorette—“always smiling ... really never know what she's thinking”—and wonders about her inner monologue (06:20).

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3. Flinders: The Creep Factor

• Flinders is presented as helpful but quickly becomes unsettlingly attached.
• Ronnie: "This episode, I think, is straight up stalking and harassment. Bizarre. I don't really like." (02:34)
• The hosts and their guest voices constantly call out Flinders' “creepy” energy and weird behaviors (e.g., overtly expressing a desire for Maddie to live nearby).
• Ronnie: "This is an episode about stalking. ... This girl goes, travels around, and she's hit on by the tour bus guy. And now he's, like, stalking her and insisting he knows best where she’s gonna live so she can be close to him." (07:43)

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4. Maddie: The Enigma

• Maddie’s job: international chocolate factory quality control.
• Ben: "Could you imagine having this? ... you have to have some sort of bubbly personality. ... she's just like, hi, I’m Maddie." (12:08)
• Maddie’s reactions are largely “it’s modern,” “lots of natural light,” and “comfortable.” Ronnie jokes she’s like a chocolate bar made sentient by AI (13:13).

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5. Real Estate Woes—Budgets & Roommates

• Maddie's rental budget (A$1,200/month) is declared wildly unrealistic for central Sydney, especially with her wish-list: water views, outdoor space, no roommates.
• The realtor, Lily, is exasperated: "A week or a month? What are you saying?" (23:13)
• Host reactions: fascination with Maddie's chocolate job vs. disbelief at her budgeting and Lily’s frankness.

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6. Property Tours: Three Homes, Three Compromises

House 1: Crow’s Nest ($1,400/mo)

• Pros: Adorable, bright, modern, furnished, lots of glass, outdoor patio.
• Cons: Over budget, but close to Maddie’s work.
• Maddie’s Review: “Really comfortable, I like it ... it’s modern.” (38:16–39:00)
• Flinders inserts himself: "I can really see myself coming over here, watching a few movies...” (39:00)

House 2: Northbridge ($2,400/mo, must share)

• Pros: Water view, lots of green, own little boat.
• Cons: Must have a flatmate (and landlords live upstairs).
• Maddie: "I don't know ... it would be hard to find a roommate for this room." (48:13)
• Realtor's sarcasm peaks: “Maybe have to give them the good room so that you could just live here.” (48:41)

House 3: Surry Hills ($1,800/mo, must share)

• Pros: Hip location, cute patio, close to everything.
• Cons: No view; tiny kitchen; must share again.
• Ben: "It's fine for if you want to be in the Hustle and Bustle ... that's like the apartment you have when you're 22." (54:57–55:21)
• Maddie: "Very modern feeling in here. Nice kitchen. Small though but bothered. I love the modern. Hahaha." (54:29–54:36)

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7. Choosing a Home

• The hosts are incredulous when Maddie eliminates the most suitable (first) option.
• "You idiot. Maddie, you're not gonna take number one? Number one was the only acceptable place." (57:41)
• Maddie picks the water view share house (Northbridge) and gets a roommate, Florina ("not only roommate but Cat!" (58:58)).
• Flinders makes a brief reappearance, but is relegated to inflatable flamingo in the water.

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8. Social Media Deep Dive: Flinders’ Instagram

• Ben and Ronnie find Flinders’ Instagram, dissecting his persistently close-up selfies and claymation “Chicken Run” smile (29:43–32:06).
• Ronnie: "Every picture is just a selfie of himself looking really closely into the camera ... it's creeping me out." (31:12)
• Ben: "He has a Chicken Run smile ... strange to see it on a human as opposed to a claymation." (30:43–31:12)
• The hosts toggle between mockery and imagining Flinders fitting in with their own quirky friends—“out of context, Flinders is fun; in context, he’s creepy” (32:40).

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9. Recurring Bits & Notable Host Moments

• Roommate Proposals: Lily’s bluntness about budgets and suggesting roommates to international house-hunters is highlighted.
• Running Gags: Ronnie’s ongoing attempt at catfishing scammers; Ben’s jabs at American (vs. European) housing esthetics.
• Maddie catchphrases: “It’s modern.” “Natural light.” “Comfortable.”
• Flinders' Unrequited Affection: Maddie's non-reciprocal responses to Flinders (“I love Sydney” / “I love you.” ”Thank you.”).
• Realtor with Attitude: Lily continues to show “tough love,” getting increasingly sarcastic about Maddie’s slim chances.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Ronnie: “This episode, I think, is straight up stalking and harassment. Bizarre." (02:34)
• Ben: “Maddie is, like, very empty. Like, she is sort of like an empty vessel ...” (05:58)
• Ronnie: “The benefit [of friendship] is free chocolate. And that's it.” (22:17)
• Lily (the realtor): "Would you consider a flatmate?" (23:31)
• Ronnie: “Have you ever heard a realtor being like, ‘wow, there's no chance in hell we can find you a roommate, though.’” (24:22)
• Ben: “Could you imagine having this? I feel like if you’re doing quality control for a chocolate factory, you have to have a bubbly personality... and she’s just like, ‘Hi, I’m Maddie.’” (12:08)
• Ronnie (on Flinders' Instagram): "Every picture is just a selfie... It's creeping me out." (31:12)
• Ben (after Maddie picks the Northbridge house): “After all of this and you still get a pipe view. Am I right?” (59:02)
• Maddie (about Sydney): “I always knew what Sydney was as a kid because I would watch the fireworks show every New Year, and the first place they showed was Sydney.” (41:13)
• Ronnie: "You want a water view for $5." (40:35)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Intro & Show Background: 00:34–03:00
• Introducing Maddie & Flinders: 03:43–08:08
• Bus Scene & Maddie’s Travels: 08:45–11:01
• Maddie's Chocolate Job: 11:49–13:30
• Budget Reveal & Realtor Lily: 22:46–25:07
• Flinders' Social Media Deep Dive: 29:19–32:06
• Property #1 Tour (Crow's Nest): 36:00–40:31
• Property #2 Tour (Northbridge): 44:31–49:39
• Property #3 Tour (Surry Hills): 51:49–56:13
• Decision & Update: 57:28–59:18
• Final Wrap & Email Plug: 59:28–End

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Summary & Takeaways

This episode features Ben and Ronnie at their snarky, detail-oriented best, spotlighting a singularly uncomfortable House Hunters International episode. Their ongoing commentary is both affectionate and scathing, highlighting the absurdities of TV real estate, the pitfalls of budgets vs. reality, and the awkwardness of non-romance on camera. The addition of Flinders’ social media makes for a hilarious, slightly cringeworthy detour that rounds out the over-the-top vibe.

For listeners: Even if you missed the actual House Hunters episode, Ben and Ronnie's comedic chemistry and sharp-witted play-by-play ensure you don't miss a beat—or a punchline.

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Skip the ads, skip the awkward date—just tune in for the best (and worst) of reality housing in Sydney, as only Watch What Crappens can deliver.

Transcript

[Ronnie]

Ding dong.

[Ben]

Ding dong.

[Ronnie]

Ding dong.

[Ben]

Ding ding ding ding ding dong. Hello.

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to Dwell.

[Ben]

Hello.

[Ronnie]

I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, little Ben.

[Ben]

Hi, Ronnie.

[Maddie]

Hi.

[Ben]

How are you?

[Ronnie]

Good. So glad to be with another episode of Dwell.

[Lily]

Hello.

[Ronnie]

There are only two more episodes in season three of Dwell. Hello. What do you think of that?

[Ben]

I think that's amazing. So, yeah, we're doing this episode and then we're gonna do another one and then Dwell hello. Will be done for the year, but we'll be back in the new year. We'll be back in January. Probably the first or second. Probably the second week of January. I don't know. Not gonna make any promises right now. I don't know the schedule.

[Ronnie]

It's like one week difference. But we're acting like, oh, my God. It's a huge season break.

[Ben]

Season finale of Dwell, hello, wherein it goes away for three weeks and then is on for a whole nother year.

[Ronnie]

But that is big because our first season had 10 episodes. Our second season, I think had 10 episodes. And now here we are with season three with 24 episodes. Nuts. It's a lot.

[Ben]

We got a 24 episode pickup by ourselves.

[Ronnie]

Guys, we picked. It's official. We have renewed ourselves. So House Hunters, here we go. This episode is house hunters international. It is season 136, episode three. Three, according to some people. Okay. It's also other numbers if you're on different platforms.

[Ben]

This is true.

[Ronnie]

We found this on HBO Max under that episode number. And it's called if you're fig trying to figure out how to look these up, the best thing to do is search in Max, the app Max for chasing home, heart and hope in Sydney. It's also on. What's the other one? YouTube TV.

[Ben]

But I think you have to pay for the YouTube one.

[Ronnie]

YouTube?

[Ben]

Yeah, because I went there first and it said, like, you have to pay. I did. Max. Also, chasing home, heart and hope in Sydney is really what you type in and you just try different platforms till you find it.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so this one is disturbing. I would say this is a disturbing episode. You know, there are a lot that's like, oh, my God, this couple doesn't belong together. Or this husband and or wife might murder each other. Like, you know, there's some that are disturbing in that way. Or like this guy wants a cat tube. He wants to cut into a home to put a tube for a cat to be able to make it to a garage which has deadly fumes, which will then be going back and like there's disturbing things like that. This one, I think, is straight up stalking and harassment. Bizarre. I don't really like.

[Ben]

There's a lot of bizarre things happening. First of all, also, thank you to Anne for. For recommending this to us. Ann wrote to us, and she put Dwell hello suggestion into the subject line. And if you have ideas for Dwell hello for our season finale or for next season, put Dwell hello suggestion in your email and email it to watch what crappens gmail.com. so thanks, Anne, for the suggestion, because this was, as you said in your email pitch, one of the most awkward half hours we've seen on House Hunters.

[Ronnie]

Truly. I mean, I was worried for this girl. So let's start with our narrator, Linda. Australia will be Maddie's biggest move yet. And then we see a guy driving, which turns out to be a bus. Got a mic rigged in his car, like, on some curvy thing, like, not a body mic, but, like a full mic rigged to his face coming, like, in a question mark to his. I don't know why I'm describing that.

[Ben]

Who cares?

[Ronnie]

He's got a microphone in a car.

[Ben]

Tell me more about the microphone.

[Ronnie]

I. And he says, all right, this girl has flown all the way from Luxembourg. Make her feel welcome. Every single guy on the bus who's creepily alone. What the bus was this? Where were you going to? I think it was a tourist. Unmarried male. Unmarried male Cove.

[Ben]

I think it was one of those tourist buses where you get on you right around the city and he talks about the sights and sounds. But, like, I kind of also got the feeling like Maddie has been trapped on this bus. That's the girl for, like, three straight days. Like, he's like, I won't let you off until you get your proper welcome in Sydney. And she's like, okay, you can let.

[Maddie]

Me off the bus now.

[Ben]

It's like some weird demonic game.

[Ronnie]

Well, to me, what's weird is that, look, I am a single guy, so I would be the single guy on the. The tour bus, right? But everybody's a single guy. I feel like when I'm the single guy, I'm looking around and it's like, all families or. Or I'm, like, the only single guy. So to see a bus where it's just all single men sitting alone, it's a creep. It's a creepy thing. What can I say? I am one. But at the same time, I'm like, what are you doing on this bus? This is a creepy bus. Get off the bus.

[Ben]

But realistically, we all know, it was just people from the production office of House Hunters. Let's be honest. We all know it was like, there's. There's Paul from accounting, there's Dan from legal, there, so. And so the unit, like, you know, it was like the PAs and everything. That's what was on the bus. But still the. If, you know, it still felt a little strange. So. But also. So we see this guy on a mic. We don't even know who he is. We don't even know if he's part of the episode yet. We think it, like. I actually think it's just a driver of a tourist bus. And so we have Maddie, and she's.

[Maddie]

Like, I've always had the thirst to discover and go places.

[Ben]

Maddie is, like, very empty. Like, she is sort of like a empty vessel of a human. She just sort of is blank.

[Ronnie]

How dare you.

[Ben]

She speaks with no intonation. She sort of has this smile on her face, and you're like, what is she thinking inside there? What is. What is she? What's really going on in her mind?

[Ronnie]

She looks just like Hannah from the Bachelorette to me. I know you don't watch that show, but look up Hannah the Bachelorette and look at what she looks like. It looks just like this girl. And Hannah kind of had that thing. She's from Alabama, so she kind of squints her eyes a little bit, and she's just always smiling. And you really never know what she' until she loses it. And then it's like, okay. I mean, none of y' all are even here for me.

[Ben]

What do you.

[Ronnie]

What are we even doing here? Like, what are you hearing to be on tv, you know, Then you'll get it. But most of the time, she's just like. She's got this kind of blank, squinty smile going on. And that's what Maddie reminds me of.

[Ben]

So we don't know. We just. We think that this. The driver of this tourist bus is just a driver. We don't think he's on the show. But then Linda says, and Maddie will have Sydney native Flinders to guide her. That's right. His name is Flinders. Not even Flanders, just Flinders. And we see that the driver.

[Ronnie]

Not Flanders, Flinders.

[Ben]

Flinders the bus driver is actually on the show.

[Ronnie]

Listen, in life, there are Flinders. Wait, there are floosers and Flinders.

[Lily]

Okay?

[Ronnie]

This is a flinder, okay? You can't have a flinder without a fluzer. So he's like, you know, let me tell you, I'd rather her be in the city close to me.

[Lily]

Who the are you?

[Ronnie]

Tour bus guy. So this is what creeps me out. This girl goes, travels around, and she's hit on by the tour bus guy. And now he's, like, stalking her and insisting he knows best where she's gonna live so she can be close to him.

[Ben]

Oh, it's so weird. Such a weird thing. And so then we cut to the realtor. We'll see later in the episod, saying.

[Maddie]

So, are you guys together?

[Ben]

And they're both like, no. But then a custom Flinders going, but it would be beautiful.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And he's like, now if you stay in the city, he'd be close to me. And then she just kind of laughs with him as they frolic on the beach, and I don't know, she needs to run. And she goes, I look. She says, I love Sydney. And he goes, I love you.

[Lily]

Ew.

[Ronnie]

Do you know how many people he's from that tour bus? This guy is not just into you. He's into. He tries this with everybody who comes on the bus. He's discussed.

[Ben]

Yeah. And Maddie clearly sees this because she basically every time he does this in the episode, she's always like, ha, ha ha ha ha. Oh, look, a palm tree. She just sort of, like, changes the subject. So now the episode starts proper, improper, and we're back on that bus, and Maddie's on the bus, and Flinders is like, so, everybody, I would like to introduce you to a special guest. Her name is Maddie, and she's flown all the way from Luxembourg, and she's beautiful, and she'll be my wife someday. Please give her a round of applause.

[Ronnie]

And all the guys are just in their chairs.

[Ben]

Like, first rule of bus club. Don't talk about bus club.

[Ronnie]

I'm the only person you probably know.

[Lily]

That can clap with one hand.

[Ronnie]

The rest of them are like, no, I.

[Ben]

A fat bus.

[Ronnie]

A what bus?

[Ben]

FAP Bus. Fat bus Tours of Sydney.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, I'm from Romania. I moved to France six years ago, and then I moved to Sweden, and then we see France, and it's a pretty pond, a bridge, a croissant museum. And then we see Sweden, and it's, you know, like a pretty pond. A bridge. Can I just say, everywhere is more beautiful than America. And listen, yes, I'm pretty proud, I guess. I'm not proud. Grateful. I mean, I'm grateful to be from where I am. Like, why not? You know? I guess I don't know any better, but every time I watch this show, I'm like, this is amazing. Why is everything here a strip mall?

[Ben]

Yeah, I mean, when I look at this episode when they. She says, I moved from France, I moved then to Sweden, then to Luxembourg. And just every piece of stock footage is gorgeous. Old buildings. And it just makes me think of like, I think like a few weeks ago when we watched the episode about the cat tubes, and I was just like winter dead trees in like, coastal, poor New Jersey. Not to pour shame, but it was just like these tiny houses with chain link fences and the Jersey coast.

[Ronnie]

And this woman shaming is but like, like taste shame.

[Ben]

Just like the visuals of like in America. Here. Here's some houses. I mean, admittedly, actually the last episode we did, we saw some beautiful houses in Taos. But the point is this Europe still's got us beat in every.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's got us. I mean, the. It's not. Poor shaming because she. Her budget's nothing, as usual. Like, she has nothing. You know, she's like, I would like. I would like a place for twelve hundred dollars. Like, good luck. Good luck lady. But the places she sees are even so much more amazing. And you're right, the place is here. You watch regular House Hunters and it's like, ew, gross.

[Ben]

It's so bad. That Jersey episode was really rough. So she's like, ah.

[Maddie]

In all my travels, I've been looking for a place where I can really call home. Sydney kind of met all my conditions. You have beautiful beaches and outer spaces and very friendly bus drivers who follow.

[Ben]

You all the way home.

[Ronnie]

Stalker bus drivers.

[Lily]

You know, I work in quality control for a chocolate factory.

[Ben]

What the what?

[Ronnie]

Traveling jobs where you can just go around quality controlling chocolate. Are you kidding me? I'm out of here. This is my last episode of any podcast ever. I found my calling.

[Ben]

Also, though, could you imagine having this? I feel like if you're doing quality control for a chocolate factory, you have to have some sort of bubbly personality. I feel like you have to be like, oh, well, hello everyone. Are we ready to try our chocolates? And she's just like, hi, I'm Maddie.

[Maddie]

I eat chocolate today.

[Lily]

I would like to tell you the chocolate was better in the factory than it is in the store. We need to rethink that. We need to rethink it.

[Ronnie]

But also, oh, Maddie's coming. Maddie's coming. And her face is covered in brown. Is that a good sign or a bad sign?

[Maddie]

Today was good chocolate, good chocolate. Chocolate is very nice.

[Ben]

She. By the way, Maddie also says like three variations of the same sentence once she starts looking at the houses. Her three variations are. It's so modern. Lots of natural light. And I think the other one is something like, wow. Like, that's all she says. So I'm just surprised that they have her in a position where she has to sort of, like, weigh in on quality, where she has to say more than, like, she just doesn't seem like something human. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Because she's also got a rectangular head. Did you notice that? Her. I think it's her hair somehow, but it's like a rectangle. I don't understand how. I think she's like a chocolate bar that they make speak through AI. They're like, we're doing this for the chocolate factory. Just have the guy from the tour bus kind of stringer along.

[Ben]

You know, they're like, don't tell anyone, but it's really Ruth. What do you mean? Babe Ruth. She's real.

[Ronnie]

Also, this reminds me, I was trying to find, you know, since Max has taken over, all the networks that I watch, pretty much Food Network, hgtv. Wait, or is that peacock? No, it is Max.

[Ben]

No, it's Max. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so it's really hard to find, like, a new show to watch for HGTV shows. Whatever. So I was looking through the other day, and one of them is this new one where it's people in South Dakota. I think they're like, South Dakota people, which what. I mean, no offense to anybody in South Dakota.

[Ben]

Which what?

[Ronnie]

I have a great auntie from North Dakota. It's not like I'm like, a hater. I just. I've never heard of, like, the big fashion. Like, the new design is coming out of South Dakota. Guys, let's line up and get people from there. Anyway, this odd lady and her husband do the homes, and she does everything in modern farmhouse. And she. Which that's got to be. I mean, I live in modern farmhouse, and even I'm like, this is over now, right? We all just do something different. It's over. But they've given these people a whole show to just do modern farmhouse everywhere in South Dakota. And she just walks around, and she only says three things.

[Lily]

Bold, bold and bold. You know what I really want to do, honey? Like, something bold. I want to do something bold in here. What about if we took, like, a barn door, but then we painted it black? You know what? I'm going to paint everything black.

[Ronnie]

That's bold.

[Ben]

Yeah, that sounds like what Maddie would be like if she had her own show in South Dakota. Turning everything into a modern farmhouse.

[Ronnie]

I just thought of It. Because you were saying Maddie only says, like, three different things, and that's this. That's the slightly on the show. We're gonna get bold.

[Ben]

It's just funny that Maddie is in a position where she has to assess the quality of something and probably has to use multiple language. Although maybe that's why she only says three things, because it's basically is the chocolate. The chocolate is either good, bad, good, or bad. So she only has to say good, bad, good, bad.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, yeah, There's. There's not. There's probably not a lot of room for, like, a gray area and chocolate tasting. You know, when you're in quality control, I don't think you can taste it and be like, that's okay. Send it on.

[Ben]

I need to know what chocolate. I need to know. Because you know how, like, sometimes you get a garment and it's, like, tested by Cindy. You know, I want to see if there's, like, a chocolate bar out there that's, like, tested by Maddie.

[Ronnie]

You know, there's just a little bite. You'll know what brand it is because there's a little tiny bite taken out.

[Ben]

And then there's a bigger bite next to it from Flinders. I'm here to help.

[Ronnie]

So we see her walking with the bus driver guy, Flinders, and she's like, oh, look, there's my office right there. And he goes, oh, yeah, well, that's a Sydney tower. They actually built a sky tower in Auckland, but they had to build the antenna five hours higher just to beat us. What do you think about that? Oh, mature. God. Like, okay, so this guy's just going to walk around tour guiding every thing. This is why you don't date the guy from the tour bus, okay?

[Ben]

Exactly. And then she says, is that one of your stories? And he goes, yeah, I mean, it's a story I tell on the bus. I'm like, and by the way, you guys are both saying puns here. You're talking about a tower. And she says, is that one of your stories? Come on, Flinders, this is your chance to make a joke about the pun.

[Ronnie]

She literally does not care about him. He's like, yeah, look at the Sydney Tower. She's like, is it made of chocolate?

[Lily]

Then I don't care. Be quiet, storyteller.

[Ben]

Also, she was totally lying when she said that was her office. She was just trying to throw off the scent for Flinders because she knows he'll be showing up there at lunch hour with, like, a Starbucks in his hand. Be like, I thought I'd come, bought some coffee. For you.

[Ronnie]

So he's like, when I get solo travelers, I tend to help him out a bit. I'll bet you do.

[Ben]

You pervade crazy, because. So I just said, hey, you want a little help around Sydney? Send me a text. And the next day, she sent me a text. And by sent me a text, I mean I showed up at a door because I followed her home in the bus. I just waited for her to walk outside. I said, here you are. What a funny thing that you texted me right now. And she said, I never sent you a text.

[Maddie]

And I said, ha.

[Ben]

Agree to disagree.

[Ronnie]

So they look at the water and she's like, I wonder if they have sharks in the harbor. And he's like, sharks are not. I'll repeat. Or not mammals. They were invented here in Sydney in 1912. No need to be scared. Are you scared, Maddie? She's like, of course I'm scared of sharks, idiots.

[Maddie]

You know, I didn't get to where I am in the chocolate industry by swimming with sharks. So she says, I trust Flinders to be part of the house hunt because he lives his whole life in Sydney and he's been a good friend and he also won't leave my side, so I might as well make some use out of it.

[Ronnie]

Also, I know he's not liar because Flinders has to be his real name. It's too stupid a name to be made up.

[Maddie]

You know, it's funny because when I lived in Luxembourg, I was adjacent to the region of Belgium called Flanders. So I think he's just made that up. So I feel more at home. I think his real name is Ezekiel.

[Ronnie]

He's like, have you ever seen the Sydney Opera House? This your first time? That is a house where Oprah lives. So just so you know, like, it.

[Lily]

Looks like three little Hershey's Kisses. I say, good, they are good.

[Ben]

But also, he's trying to impress her. Like, you think that she came to Sydney and didn't seek out the Opera House right away? Because she goes. She's like, yeah, I've seen it.

[Maddie]

She's like, yeah, I've seen it. But maybe first time from this angle.

[Ben]

Also, it's funny because she says in it to us, she goes, you know about Sydney.

[Maddie]

She goes, I don't know if I'll leave Sydney with a husband. I'm just gonna say that a little louder for you, Flinders. I don't think I'm going to leave with a husband, but it'll be good for my career.

[Ronnie]

But I will not pay for gas once. I'll tell you that much. So Flinders is like, let's face it, if you want culture, go to Melbourne. If you want beautiful beaches, beautiful atmosphere and hot tour guys who keep pretty girls numbers off the sign up sheets probably illegally come to Sydney.

[Ben]

So she's saying like, you know what.

[Maddie]

I love about Sydney is yours have green spaces around the corner.

[Ben]

And then she like looks at a tree, says, what's this tree? And he's like, that's a molten fig. And she says, oh. So then just it's like really invented.

[Ronnie]

By the morton family in 1809.

[Lily]

She's like, oh, you can hear kookaburras, you can see parrots, you can see creepy yellow toothed guys who drive buses always behind you. It's like small paradise with stalkers in beautiful city. It's amazing.

[Ben]

You know what's funny? So Flinders sort of looks like an Easter bunny that got its ears chopped off. Am I right?

[Ronnie]

That's harsh. I'm sure. I mean, I just called him yellowtooth. Flinders. We're really hating on Flinders. But I do. Warning, warning. And yeah, he does look like an Easter bunny.

[Ben]

Right, so now enter Lily Karamanian, the realtor and also someone who is absolutely disgusted by Flinders, like she truly is.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, she looks just like someone and I cannot figure out who it is, but she's like ready for stardom this check. She's very beautiful. She's ready. Her eyebrows are unfortunate, but you know what, I blame the place she went to.

[Ben]

So she shows probably on Flinders recommendation. That's the origin story there. He's like, welcome to Sydney, Lily. You need to get your eyebrows down. Done. Let me recommend there's a man at the top of the Sky Tower, just which is just 5 meters short of Auckland's. He does a great job with your eyebrows.

[Ronnie]

She's like, well north of the bridge you've got more down to earth fire. But when you go south, it's more vibrant with parties. That's the place to be. That's where everyone wants to be. So she's like, what part of the city do you want to live in?

[Lily]

What's your name again? Midi.

[Ronnie]

All right, where is it? And she's like, one bedroom close to.

[Lily]

The city would be good for me.

[Ronnie]

I love chocolate and Flanders. Like, what about the inner city? Because I live in the city and it would be good to have around the corner right to its. Get on it.

[Ben]

She Maddie goes, thank you. So Lily goes, so are you guys together? And Flinders, they both look at each other and Flynn just like, no, no, we are Friends with benefit.

[Maddie]

Yes. The benefit is free chocolate. And that's it.

[Ronnie]

Yes.

[Lily]

I guess benefit is I get places for free, even though I have to stop a lot of times and pick up men with one hand in their pocket.

[Ben]

So Lily goes, well, friends are great. Friends is good. Friends. I started saying friends is great, but now I've downgraded to friends is good. And she's like, I'm realizing who you're friends with. So now you're no longer great. Is now a good. Sorry about that.

[Ronnie]

So Maddie wants an outdoo flower space or she wants water views. And Lily goes, oh, well, that's all fantastic. So what price are we looking for? Porpo?

[Maddie]

Well, I was thinking I could pay in Kit Pat bars.

[Ben]

No, honey, I'm sorry.

[Ronnie]

She says 1200. Well, no. Is that a week or a month? I should have known when you pulled up here in a tour bus with the actual tour guide. All right, let me guess. He has a guitar behind his seat. Does he? Does he?

[Ben]

Lily is so shocked that. That Maddie wants to pay twelve hundred dollars for. For sea views or water views in Sydney, she literally chokes. She goes, a week or a month? What are you saying?

[Ronnie]

And I don't think I've ever even heard this, and I've watched hundreds of these episodes. She goes, the reason I choked is because there's really. That's really. You know, it's really not steep. I mean, we're looking for Sydney. Matt, would you consider a flatmate? Have you ever heard that?

[Ben]

What? That's got a roommate on House Hunters.

[Ronnie]

Where they're like, you know what? For twelve hundred dollars, I can find you a roommate.

[Ben]

There was an episode recently where someone took on a roommate. Wasn't there like, a woman who had. Yes, there was the woman who moved to, like, South Africa, who had come from, like, England, and she was all super basic. And then in the end, she wound up having to get a roommate so that way she could stay in a place that she liked. Yeah. Oh, wow. But it's.

[Ronnie]

But.

[Ben]

But I've never heard it as a proposal. At the top of the episode, it.

[Ronnie]

Was one of those things like, I've never heard a realtor being like, wow, there's no chance in hell we can find you a roommate, though. Okay.

[Ben]

You can find your roommate.

[Ronnie]

I'm going to work.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. By the way, what. I mean, listen, I'm not here to count other people's money, but also, if you're working quality control for this chocolate factory, what's going on here? That you. That You're. You're. You can only afford 1200amonth. I'm sorry, but that's like. It sounds like you have, like, a corporate level job.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, but listen, it's a job that anybody would do. Like, I would do that job for free. You know, you don't have to pay me. Call me chocolate company. I'm here.

[Ben]

Madame Hershey, we are available.

[Ronnie]

So.

[Ben]

So she's like. They're like, liza, would you concede a flatmate?

[Ronnie]

Maybe?

[Ben]

And Maddie's like, well, I guess depending.

[Maddie]

On the location, if it's close, it might be worth considering a flatmate. That's not Flinders.

[Ben]

Flinders is like.

[Ronnie]

I. Let me just tell you, this is a. This is an episode about stalking. I'm just. And I always say I want to be single, right? But I'm trying to get one of these scammer people on text to fall in love with me. I've been trying it for months, you know, where they text you and they're like, how are you doing today? It's like some random number, and then if you just act like you don't know, they'll eventually you'll get someone's boobs. Okay. In the thing. So she says, or they say, how are you doing today? And I put. Thinking of you. I'm just sitting here waiting for a text. Like, we've been dating for months. I'm like, is anybody. Do I have no charm left? Like, can I even get a scammer on the.

[Ben]

Get a scammer? You can get one. You will get one.

[Ronnie]

Thank you. I have, like a whole conversation and they literally blew me off the last. The last time.

[Ben]

Well, you have to offer them money. You have to say, hey, can I like you? They're not going to talk to you if you don't offer money because they're scammers. They're literally out for money. So you have to make them feel like if they keep talking to you that they can get to that money.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I think I'm too obvious. Like, they have to feel like they're talking me into something. I can't just be like, oh, my God, I love you. You know, because that's just how I am.

[Ben]

Can you say, I'm so toner, But.

[Ronnie]

I'm like, oh, my God, I love you.

[Ben]

Just say, I'm so vulnerable, you know, ever since, you know, my dear great aunt passed away, and I'm just sitting here with her inheritance, and I just makes me think about how lonely I am to not be.

[Ronnie]

Well, I told the last One, I was running for mayor. I mean, I thought that that would. Doesn't that sound like a good backstory? Like, I thought, surely someone's gonna want to date me.

[Ben]

No, not mayor. Mayor. You have to say, oh, I'm sorry. I'm on my corporate retreat right now.

[Ronnie]

Okay, here's this last one.

[Lily]

Hi.

[Ronnie]

What have you been up to recently? How are you? And I said, I've been running for mayor after selling my croissant business. How about you? And they said, I'm glad. And they said, I'm glad to hear that you're doing well. Me too. After you run for mayor, my business will be taken care of by you. Lol. And I said, yes. Okay, what's your business? And they said, how long have you been running for mayor? I mean, really, you're not going to answer me?

[Ben]

They're like, what's your platform? You can say, no, you say, just launched the campaign. I'm self funded. Here's. Luckily, I have a lot of money.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I should have tried that. Okay. I said, I'm started. I'm a bad typist. But I said, I'm started preparing a year ago. It's a long process. After my Oscar win, for some reason, I stopped getting acting work. Too talented. So I followed my croissant dream and now want to make more changes in my city than just carb intakes. And then I thought, they didn't write me back. This was November 7th, but they actually wrote me back. Can you share a photo of you with me? Now, granted, it's not a very clear question where they think.

[Ben]

Send a picture of Flinders.

[Ronnie]

I wish I had it up. Okay, I just wrote back. I mean, it's late, but I wrote back yes. So let's see if I get a picture. Finally. Oh, my God. This might actually work out. Oh, okay, here's the other. I already got a picture. Here it is. Oh, damn it. We're not on video. But here, I'll show you. Ben, this is what I just got from the one that I was just texting. Can you see it?

[Ben]

Yeah. She may be AI generated, but I appreciate that it says.

[Ronnie]

I said, how are you doing? She says, thinking of you. And then it's a picture of a young lady with her shirt unbuttoned down to her boobies. And it says, hi, I'm Patty from California. Still remember me? I don't. And I would never forget you if we had met. Where did we meet? Tell me the story while.

[Ben]

While this is all happening.

[Ronnie]

Okay. Flinders.

[Ben]

Sorry. No, no, no. No, this.

[Ronnie]

I'm.

[Ben]

I'm loving this store. I'm very excited for Patty. You and Patty. But also I'm gonna send you a text because I found Flinders Instagram.

[Ronnie]

No way.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Okay, let's do it.

[Ben]

Okay, so his Instagram. His, his Instagram is so you think you can smile. Okay, so he says, I locked this account and threw away the key. Goodbye kids music. Goodbye kids music at Finney Music songs. Good is fine. Personal account. Flinders Personal. Okay, so he has. Did he lock this?

[Ronnie]

Because he's even creepier now. He's, he's like really long haired now with a baseball cap. This guy's a creepazoid. And he's. Oh gosh, I don't know.

[Ben]

Go ahead, let's see. I want to see which one is. Okay, so Flinders Personal. He, he updated. He did his post a week ago. He is, he's. I mean, I like, he's like a. He's like an artsy, fun person. He's probably like a couch surfer. Wait, is this.

[Ronnie]

Does he know anybody? Every picture is just a selfie of himself looking really closely into the camera.

[Ben]

It's. Does he have like a hot girlfriend?

[Ronnie]

I don't see anybody on here. I see just him.

[Ben]

Are you on Flinders Personal? You're on Flinders Stoked.

[Ronnie]

I'm on. So you think you can smile?

[Ben]

Okay, so follow the link there. That will take you to Flinders Personal. That's God. So you think you can smile? I'm not sure what that's all about.

[Ronnie]

It's him like making things. It's a lot of smiles with a hand immersion blender.

[Ben]

So he has, he has a Chicken Run smile.

[Ronnie]

Okay.

[Ben]

And so what happens is that like, what's the name of that studio that does all those claymation movies?

[Ronnie]

So Pixar.

[Ben]

It's the studio that does Chicken Run, Like Chicken Run movie studio. I don't know, Aardman animations. So he has like a lot of photos close up on his Chicken Run smile, which is like, has its own charm, but it's like strange to see it on a human as opposed to a claymation.

[Ronnie]

You know, we're monsters. And I have to say that his personal is less scary than his other one. I think this other one is crazy.

[Ben]

I'm sorry.

[Ronnie]

His other one is all crazy.

[Ben]

It's all teeth. And I feel like he's doing that on purpose. I feel like he knows he's got like silly teeth so he's like almost trolling us.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's not like I don't even care about like, his teeth, like, who cares? It's just that everyone is just himself just staring right into the camera very close up. It's weird. It's, it's. It's not just like a couple. We all have pictures of ourselves on our Instagram. It's like me with my nieces or me in front of a, you know, grocery store with a lady that I just met there and I'm trying to, like, get to fall in love with me or whatever. But this guy, it's just like him staring right into the camera, really up close, it's creeping me out.

[Ben]

I'm gonna take a screenshot because I'm sorry, this is a lot to take in.

[Maddie]

This is.

[Ben]

This will go on to our social media, okay? The Flinders, the Flinders grid. It's a lot. And he is. This guy has attached himself to this chocolate factory quality, quality, quality expert. It's.

[Ronnie]

I feel like when something bad happens, people take this down right away. This Instagram, this is going to be banned at some point. When he, like stalks somebody too much and he's in like some documentary, they're going to be like, oh, my God, this is a guide. And everyone's going to go look up this Instagram and this is going to be proof that he was nuts the whole time.

[Ben]

But you know what the thing is though? I have a group of friends who I know Flinders would fit in perfectly with and they would all love Flinders. And I probably would like Flinders because I'd meet him through that context as opposed to the context of someone like attaching himself onto a. To an emigre, to Sydney. And I can totally see, like, I have a group of friends that we used to always have. We used to have dinner parties every week, you know, this group of friends and they would always be. Bust out their instruments and then play David Bowie music. They make like a little band at the end of dinner, they would get on, get on the instruments and just play music. But it was always David Bowie. Always turned out to be David Bowie. And I can totally see Flinders being part of this group. So I can see out of context that Flinders, like, oh, yeah, Flinders is like fun. He's like fun and carefree, but in the context of this, as a creepy tour bus driver who's attached himself onto the house hunt of someone who just arrived in the country. Strange.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, yeah. Odd. Odd dude. Okay, so also, if you're listening to this, please stop. Flinders. Flinders, we don't know. I'm sure you're great.

[Ben]

Okay, we think Flinders is paying for one Drew Plus, I don't think so. I think we're safe. Let's be honest.

[Ronnie]

You never know. A couple years down the line where we're just going to put all these out again, not even thinking about it, and then, boom, a whole new wave of feelings to be hurt. Okay, we don't think about that here. So real estate agent Lily is like, oh, my, you're poor. Great. So we've just. We've just met Lily, and she's thinking that. So she wants outdoor space, water views. Lily suggests a roommate, and Lily's like, you know, this is Maddie's move, not Flinders. And she needs to choose what's best for her. Flinders is like, but I am best for her music.

[Ben]

So they go to a neighborhood called Crow's Nest, which is. Love that for a neighborhood.

[Ronnie]

It's called. It's Crow's Nest. It's named after a nest for crows. Because they nest. Because they're both. Thank you, Flinders.

[Ben]

Thank you. And if you go walking around counting them all, you're basically like a 90s band. And funny I should mention that I do do several covers of The Counting Crows.

[Maddie]

Mr. Jones.

[Ben]

All right, moving on.

[Ronnie]

So Lily, I have to move on to Lily's earring is the realtor. So she's wearing these earrings that are, like, metal, shaped like heads and that, like, big faces. And the faces are facing each other like they're looking through her neck. It just would make me so insecure to just have, like, two faces staring at my neck. Like, those earrings.

[Ben]

I saw the earrings, but I didn't realize they were faces. To me, they were just wiry shapes. Interesting.

[Ronnie]

Oh, their faces looking at each other. They're like.

[Ben]

It's like she's in the middle of a fight.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's like, I can't see you. There's a neck between us. You want to go on another date, or are we trying to, you know, get a room and neck here?

[Ben]

Guys, I need you to be quiet because I'm trying to steer this poor chocolate quality expert away from a strange tour bus driver.

[Ronnie]

She's never gonna make you any kind of a commission, I'll tell you that much.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Get away from her.

[Lily]

Let's go make out. Let's go.

[Ronnie]

Neck.

[Ben]

It's like a reboot of Herman's Head.

[Ronnie]

So.

[Ben]

So Maddie is like, so, what about this area, Flinders?

[Maddie]

Would you live here?

[Ben]

And he's like, well, it's a bit of the city for my taste, but it's closer to your work, which could then be closer to my work. Because I can work from anywhere. So if you want, I'll just park in your driveway.

[Maddie]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

And this place is 1400. Now, her budget is 1200, but I say it's 200 bucks. Okay. And there's no roommates, so Lily's like, don't rule it out yet. You get a lot for money. All right? Even though you're on a fixed amount as a chocolate taster, whatever the that.

[Ben]

Is, apparently you're only being paid in the tin foil that goes around Hershey's Kiss.

[Ronnie]

Just give them twelve hundred dollars a month and some packaging with contests on the back from M M's. Hopefully, you'll make it.

[Ben]

Have you told your employers that honk a gelt is not actual currency? Okay. Because it seems like they're paying you in there.

[Ronnie]

It.

[Ben]

By the way, this. So normally when people propose a low budget, which happens all the time on this show, it's like almost every episode. What you. What they do is they take you to a place that's like, a little bit over and then a place that's, like, a lot over and then a place that's usually actually under. Right? Because that's sort of the spectrum that they show. Like, oh, well, you can go cheaper. Whatever. This. This lady, her budget is so ridiculously cheap for what she wants. They never. They never even come close to even hitting her budget, let alone going under. Her budget.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. No, not even close. This girl doesn't even try.

[Ben]

She's like, no, it's not gonna happen unless you get a roommate.

[Ronnie]

She doesn't try at all. So house one is 1400. Adorable.

[Ben]

It's super cute.

[Ronnie]

It's so cute. It looks like it's out of a magazine. It looks brand new. It's like. Well, I mean, it doesn't look, like, tacky brand new. It looks like just redone, you know, the whole back wall looks out over this, like, kind of patio, cobblestone patio, garden thing. And it's like huge doors that are see through. You know, glass doors with glass windows, and they go up into the triangle that makes the roof, and it's all glass. It's so cute.

[Ben]

And Maddie walks through. I remember the third thing that she says. Comfortable.

[Maddie]

Goes, I really like it. It's really comfortable. I like it.

[Ben]

Evelyn just goes, look at this window over here.

[Maddie]

She goes, this looks really comfortable and modern.

[Ben]

Look at this place.

[Maddie]

The mirrors. I love the mirrors.

[Ben]

I like it.

[Maddie]

It's modern.

[Ronnie]

It's beautiful. It comes furnished with brand new gorgeous furniture. The bed room, like, the huge king bed with really nice bedding. I mean, I don't know why she didn't just take this and move right in as a skylight. And they're like, but what does. Flinders is like, how do I sleep after my busy bus schedule when there's a sk. And the lady's like, hi. See these rods? You pull the COVID down over the skylight.

[Ben]

There's also a big TV in the place. And he's. And he's like, does this come with it? It's like, yes, this comes with it.

[Ronnie]

She.

[Ben]

And he says, I can really see myself coming over here, you know, watching a few movies.

[Maddie]

No, sir, you have to be invited.

[Ben]

First before you come over and watch.

[Ronnie]

Invited you. And I'm so glad not to see Maddie on his Instagram. Spoiler alert. I think she was like, okay, you can go now. Goodbye.

[Ben]

Yeah. So she in the bedroom, of course. She's like, I really love the light.

[Maddie]

And the high ceiling, but it's not that big.

[Ben]

And he goes, well, it's a gigantic bed in a small room. That's good. And Lily goes, well, Flinders likes it.

[Ronnie]

And he goes, well, that's not for me to say, is it Lily? So their bathroom, her bathroom would be this really teeny, tiny place. But I don't care. I love it.

[Maddie]

It.

[Ronnie]

The tiles are so nice in it.

[Maddie]

It's modern feeling. It's modern. I like that it's modern feeling. It's modern.

[Ronnie]

Comfortable.

[Maddie]

It's modern.

[Ronnie]

What a comfortable shower. What a comfortable. I hope I can sleep modernly in the shower.

[Maddie]

That's comfortable. Comfortable.

[Ben]

Natural light. They go outside, there's a grill there. So Flinders opens it up. He's like, hey, you know what? Throw a few shrimps on this bad boy. What do you reckon? And she just smiles and turns away.

[Ronnie]

Like, this is what we call a grill. You can cook things on it. It was invented in 1776 by Sir Lord Griffith Griffithson.

[Ben]

Yeah, I just like that. She just turns away like, I'm going.

[Maddie]

To pretend like I did not hear.

[Ben]

You invite yourself over to grill at my place.

[Ronnie]

I know. And she's like, I like it. But I'm concerned about the rent. The rent is not comfortable.

[Lily]

I would love to have water here. I moved to Sydney to be close.

[Ronnie]

To the water for twelve hundred dollars. You're not getting close to the water, hooker.

[Lily]

Okay?

[Ronnie]

You're not getting that. You want a water view for $5.

[Ben]

Ye. You only get for 1200 an umbrella and a towel to put down on the sand. And that will be your house. So Lily is Like, well, you're not that far from the water, and unfortunately, you're not that far from Flinders, so good luck with that. It's about 10 to 15 minutes away, so you can have the best of both worlds if you're just willing to move your lazy butt.

[Ronnie]

So then we see Maddie and Flinders on a boat together, and they're, like, waving to people on the bridge, and Maddie's just doing that squint, smile, laughing thing. And she tells us. She's like, oh.

[Lily]

I always knew what. What Sydney was as a kid because I would watch the fireworks show every. Every New Year, and the first place they showed was Sydney. So it made me want to manage my team of chocolate professionals. One day in a city called Sydney.

[Ronnie]

I was like, wow, this girl is really just living her little girl dreams.

[Ben]

But also, like, that is your. That's like, that was your way into Sydney. It's like seeing fireworks and the bridge.

[Ronnie]

It just seems like on tv. That's why I always wanted to go to New York. I would always see, like, the Tony Awards and Broadway and, you know, all that stuff. So hers was just New Year's seeing Sydney on tv.

[Ben]

I guess so. Well, I want to circle back to this boat because they're on this speedboat and they're speeding along and they're about to go under the famous bridge. I forgot what it's called. And she's just going, go, go, go, go, go, go.

[Maddie]

James Bond style. Say hi to the people.

[Ben]

And Flinders goes, hi. And she goes. She waves at the people on the bridge, goes, hello. Who are these two robots we're watching? And then they, like, clasp their hand because it's like this really fast boat. So they're like, clasping hands and she's.

[Maddie]

Like, don't be scared, Flinders.

[Ben]

There's some weird, weird situation going on.

[Ronnie]

Weird vibes going on with both of them. And so there's little seals. And Flinders is like, I love seals. Do you love seals? And she goes, I love Sydney. He's like, I love you.

[Ben]

And she's like, thank you.

[Lily]

Thank you.

[Ben]

It was. It was a weird moment. It was especially because it was. It's. It's Genesis was in seals talking about seals. I love you. You're my seal. So Lily says, all right, well, I shared these two creepy people something very independent. And the other properties I'm going to show is show Maddie are gonna have. She's gonna have to compromise with space and sharing that space with someone else that, you know who she may. Which she may or may not like, but that's tough titties, because she only wants to pay $0.03 to live in luxury housing. So good luck to this.

[Ronnie]

Oh, text update alert. My last text said I would never forget how we met. Tell me the story. And she wrote back, huh, isn't that Ms. Amy's number? And I went, no. Darn it. Okay, just had to update you. Okay, so now Lily is like, okay, well, I've shown it independence. So the other property, she has to be ready to share with people, which she might not like. But guess what? The rest of us don't like poor people wasting our time. But guess what? Here we are. All right, here's a dollar bill. All right, get it. Get it. Going down the hill. Watch her run. Watch her run.

[Ben]

Flinders says Maddie is super, super focused on practical matters, like being close to work, but she really. And she really wants that water view, which is less practical. Just sort of strange. But I'm a little concerned that she isn't thinking about her social life with me. Flinders.

[Ronnie]

Weirdo. Why does her social life have to be at bars every night? You alky. Some people want a social life.

[Lily]

Kayaking.

[Ben]

Maddie also does not strike me as someone who loves. Loves, like bar hopping. You look at her and you think, this is someone who probably wants to curl up on her sofa with some tea. So I think she'd be perfectly fine being out of the city.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, me too. So now they're driving, and Lily's like, all right, here's Northridge, or isn't it leafy? And she's like, oh, it's pretty. And Flinder's like, oh, yes, it leaves. It's because we're in Northridge. There's trees. It's like a ridge, but in the north. Trees first grew in the Garden of Eden in something something, BC I don't know. I heard it.

[Ben]

Lily's like, oh, well, you want to bring the factoids? Here's my factoid. 50 of the houses over here have their own jetty, and one of the houses has their own Flinders. Okay, come on. This is my time. Jetty time.

[Ronnie]

I mean, you're definitely out of the way here. It's going to cost a lot to gas up my boss every day.

[Ben]

So Lily's like. She's like, well, this is going to be a place for Midi. And then. But I think you'll get on board, Flinders, because guess what? This is not your house. Hunt. You're not even supposed to be here. Next time you do get in my car, I please recommend that you put on some Deodorant. Thank you very much.

[Ronnie]

So this is the bottom floor of a big house, and the landlords live upstairs. So this Lily has gumption. I gotta hand it to her. Not only. I thought that that was the share, right? Okay, so this is a share. You only get the bottom floor. The owners do live upstairs, which kind of sucks, but hey, at least you get a water view. No, because she goes, you can also get a roommate to live in the bottom floor when there's already roommates upstairs. You crazy? Are you gonna make any effort today, Lily?

[Ben]

Yeah. And that. Well, because Lily's disgusted by this whole situation. She's not going to waste a good listing on these people. So Flinders is like, well, it's not going to be a rave cave. That's a bit disappointing. I was like, well, did Maddie ever say she wants to have a rave cave? That's just what you want to do in Maddie's house. Because you probably just love it.

[Ronnie]

Creepazoid. You're too old for raves.

[Ben]

Yeah. Over. So Lily's like, well, so I know that there's landlords upstairs. Just look at them as neighbors. Okay, look, there's tons of green space. You can't even see the house because there's trees in front of it. Also because the house is a dirt patch. Hate to break it to you, I forgot to mention that part.

[Ronnie]

So it's like a park entrance. And Lily's like, but it's so much greenery. Is there even a house there?

[Lily]

That's just crazy.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, well, it's because it's a beach house. You have to go through that to look down at. Get the water, you stupid imbecile.

[Lily]

Right.

[Ben]

By the way, this place is 2400amonth, which is literally twice the budget. But the idea is that with a roommate, it comes back down to 1200. So this is awful. Deal. So they. They walk down and then there's like a view. This view of like. Okay, I don't. I don't know. Sydney. I've never seen Sydney. But the view that we see from this house is a pretty view. We see some water, but it's not like a big, big beautiful vista, which is what I got. I thought that's what she wanted to see, but she loves it. Maddie loves the view. And Lily's like, well, this is the million dollar Sydney view. I guess because that worked out well, I really wasn't sure what we're gonna be getting here.

[Ronnie]

And Flynn's like, well, I mean, I guess if she chooses the water view. I won't be disappointed. It is nice, but it would be nicer if she was in the city. And so this place is not the new modern place that the other one was, but it's cute. It's got, like, groovy artichoke lights and brown hardwood, and it's small, but it's a water place, you know, what are you gonna do?

[Ben]

Yeah, Lots of natural light, as Maddie points out in every step she takes. And comfortable. It's comfortable. It's. It's nice. And if you sit in the primary bedroom, you can open up the door, and you can see out through the glass and see the water view. So it's like.

[Maddie]

It's a.

[Ben]

It is a pretty view. And then there's another room for the roommate, which is a small room with this bright vermilion accent wall that they all are disgusted by.

[Ronnie]

And this has no view. There's, like, a window, but it's at the top of the room.

[Ben]

You know?

[Ronnie]

So Lily's like, well, I don't know. You know? No, Maddie's like, I don't know. You know, maybe it's comfortable, but it would be hard to find a roommate for this room. And Lily goes, oh, yeah, well, you know what? Maybe you'd have to find a roommate and give them the good room so that you could just live here. I was like, literally. Really does not give a about anything today.

[Ben]

You know what, Maddie? I've got an even better idea. You get two roommates. The second roommate takes this room, and you just sleep on the staircase outside, going down to the water. How about that? But you still have access to the bathroom some days.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, sometimes. Maybe you can sleep outside, and then you can rent it to three people to live inside. And maybe when they throw away their dinner that they haven't eaten, you can go to the tre trash can and get that out. That saves you from cooking.

[Lily]

What about that?

[Ronnie]

Good idea, Lily. You're doing great.

[Ben]

So this house comes with its own little boat. And, you know, Maddie loves it. Maddie's like, well, you know what?

[Maddie]

This is great.

[Ben]

I don't even have to leave the house. I can just sit here and look at the water. I'm giving her an Australian accent.

[Maddie]

I can sit here and look at the water, and I have my own entertainment here because I have a boat.

[Ben]

So I can go wherever I want. I don't have to go anywhere. And Flinders is, like, crying in the corner, like, he's cradling himself as she says that she doesn't have to leave the house.

[Ronnie]

So then we see Mad Maddie and Flinders walking and she's like, so you said didgeridoo. He's like, didgeridoo.

[Lily]

So didgeridoo.

[Ronnie]

No didgeridoo. Okay, now you're just gaslighting the girl on how to pronounce didgeridoo. She's pronouncing it right. I hate Flinders. I hate him.

[Maddie]

I don't think I'm a thrill seeker. I'm just very curious. And there are so many things to explore in Sydney.

[Ben]

Like, wow, you don't think you're a thrill seeker? I never would have suspected that.

[Ronnie]

So they watch a fairy pass by and she's like, but, you know, I.

[Lily]

Will see, you know, hopefully I can make friends here, you know, because going where you don't know someone is scary.

[Ronnie]

And Flinders is like, this is called the rocks. It's one of the oldest areas in Sydney that poor men play guitars mediocrely to woo customers into their bids. Shall I do it for you?

[Lily]

You plink, plink, plink, plink.

[Ronnie]

I'm like, of course this guy whips out a guitar. Of course he does.

[Ben]

Of course. And so he's just drumming and he goes, baby. And she goes, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. And some random person walks by and just drops down like some dollars in front of him. Like, here you go, sir. Hopefully you can get yourself some soup tonight for dinner.

[Ronnie]

Okay. I just got a text from my new love. Thanks. Oh, she said, I'm sorry, I thought this was a new friend I met at the charity gala last week. That's why I dialed the wrong number. Hope you do not mind. And I said, no, I don't mind at all. And she said, thanks, you are a very good tempered person. Lol. As I'm sitting here screaming slender. And she said, maybe our encounter today was a prank arranged by God. It wants us to become new friends. This way. What's your name, please? And I said, flinders.

[Ben]

A prank, by God, I love a divine prank.

[Ronnie]

Okay, back to the show. So now they're driving and Lily's like, we're going down to Surrey Hills. No guitars allowed, Flinders. All right, City ordinance.

[Ben]

Flinders is like, I'm gonna help her see the big city life where everyone's hanging out and traveling, everyone's hanging out and having friends and it's very energetic and I think it's definitely going to enrich her life. In fact, when she gets here, I'm probably never going to let her le. I'll just put on my boss and if someone else Where's, Where's Maddie? I'll say. I don't know. I never saw her. Sorry, Chocolate factory.

[Ronnie]

So she is shown a two bedroom, two bath, renovated, close to the water and the harbor place, right?

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, I know it's not great, but you're coming here for the lifestyle. Cuz this is the downtown area.

[Ben]

This is like the hip neighborhood. And by the way, Flinders, as they're driving around, Flinders goes, you know, the only thing you're in danger of here is having a good time. And Maddie's like, ha ha ha ha ha. And you see Lily's face like, get this busker out of my back seat right now.

[Ronnie]

So Lily's like, well, this is 1800, but if you find a flatmate, it comes under. Yeah. And also if you found a place that was 1200, it would be 1200 Lily.

[Ben]

I, you know, honestly, I think Lily is the least offensive person of this trio. So I'm just not going to come for her. I just feel like, like I feel like she is just giving tough love to Maddie because Maddie is the one who's trying to find a Palace for $1,200.

[Ronnie]

That's true. But sometimes I just think from the customer's perspective, because if you can't do it, just tell them no. You know what I mean? That's be like, okay, 1200. All right, I'm going to show you a place that's 9,000amonth. But you know, you could also have children and have them get jobs. It's like, what kind of, what kind of backup is that, Lily?

[Ben]

So they, they get to this house, it's really loud outside, and they go in and Maddie's like, I like the blue door. And they walk in, there's a long hallway and Flinders, Flinders is really trying to sell the place. That way she stays in the city. He's like, well this, this is classic right here. Look at this hallway. Hallway roof. I mean, I'm more accustomed to walls that are made of cardboard, but this is great. I love drywall. It's a cool concept.

[Lily]

But what about the hole in the drywall?

[Ronnie]

And Lily's like, oh, don't even mind that. We could either paint it or put a poster over it. Put a poster over it? What is this, the Green Mile? What are you talking about?

[Ben]

And then Flinders goes, well, maybe you can turn the attic into another bedroom.

[Maddie]

What?

[Ronnie]

By the way, it's not an attic that is easily accessible. It's literally a pull down.

[Ben]

He is one of those people. He is One of those people that would do that. He was like, I live in an attic somewhere.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

I'm telling you, he's a couch surfer. So Maddie is like, she's like, oh.

[Maddie]

Very modern feeling in here. Nice kitchen. Small though, but bothered. I love the modern. Hahaha.

[Lily]

Some modern.

[Ronnie]

And it's kind of. It looks like it's going to be great in the beginning because it's got that little bedroom, it's right by the front street. But she doesn't have to worry about that. The roommate could live there. And then it's one of those long train apartments and you. She assumed it's going to be really big, but it's not. It's like a tiny little kitchen, tiny little everything, and it looks like it smells. I don't like this place.

[Ben]

I think it's fine. It's fine for if you're gonna be like, if you're, if you want to be in the Hustle and Bustle and you have a restrictive budget. Like that's kind of like, I feel like that's like the, that sort of apartment you have when you're 22. Right. And so then there's like the bedroom. The closet is just like two pegs with two hangers hanging off them. So that's the closet and the window.

[Maddie]

She's like, I was hoping for sea view, but it's just a view of a pipe.

[Ronnie]

It's a gas pipe. I mean, what are you going to do? And the tiny bathroom, you know, all that stuff. So then outside there's a tiny little patio.

[Ben]

That's cute. The patio is cute because the living room, the living room opens up with like pocket doors to the patio, which was very cute. I like that.

[Ronnie]

I mean, it's cute, but it's a testament to how not cute the rest of the place is because she, she.

[Lily]

Goes, oh my God, this feels like botanical garden.

[Ronnie]

What? No, it's like a little cement block tyrannical garden. She's very positive, Maddie.

[Ben]

She is so.

[Maddie]

She's like, I guess I could see myself living here. I mean, the kitchen feels small, but I'm in the middle of the city and it's modern. I like that it's modern.

[Ben]

So Flinder's like, well, definitely. I mean, it's, you know, it's a massive plus living in the city. I mean, 900amonth, that's great. And finding a roommate in the city, no problem. It's not going to be drama at all. I mean, this is where people want to be. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I could move in if you want. I could help out.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, if you ever need a bus driver who probably won't pay his rent. That much on here for you. So they walk around, and Maddie's like.

[Lily]

I cannot even imagine choosing.

[Ronnie]

And he's like. And Lily tells us Flinders is making it more about him, which I love. Lily's read. And I just wish she could say this stuff out loud. I love that Lily just so openly hates them.

[Ben]

Same. So now they're debating. And so, you know, house number one, there's. Wait, where is it? Where it says, must be later. So they're talking about house number one. That's like going through all the ups and downs. You know, house number one's far away. House number two is closer, but it's really expensive. And house number three is in the city. And then it lists them. Then lists all three houses. You know, they put them up on screen, and each one has its own little descriptor. So house number one is. It's a big one. Better. House number two, Maddie's water view. And house number three, Flinders dream. Flinders dream.

[Ronnie]

So Flinders is like, all right, let's eliminate one.

[Lily]

And she's like, well, and I could walk to work. It's the most beautiful place. Number one. And I wouldn't have to live alone. But what you got me thinking, like.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God, you idiot. Maddie, you're not gonna take number one? Number one was the only acceptable place.

[Ben]

It was the closest one to your budget. It was beautiful. It had space. What? It's close to your work. That's the one that she eliminates. So she goes for the water view, one in. In wherever it is, Northbridge. And she gets a. She gets a roommate. And so we go three months later.

[Maddie]

And she's like, sydney is treating me very well. And even with my job, the colleagues are here, are great, and there's not. The transition was so easy. And also, like, I found a housemate, Florena. She's been amazing.

[Ben]

And then we. And then she. She's like. We meet Florina.

[Maddie]

And what was Florina doing again?

[Ben]

She just shows up with, like, flowers, right?

[Ronnie]

No, Florina comes over. Okay. So Maddie's sitting outside with her laptop.

[Lily]

Like, look at me working on chocolate outside.

[Ronnie]

And she goes, florina, it's amazing. And then Florina just walks up with a cat and puts her on.

[Ben]

Oh, that's what it was.

[Ronnie]

A cat.

[Ben]

Florina up to Florina and the cat.

[Maddie]

She's like, I have Florina and Cat.

[Lily]

So it's like I won not only roommate but Cat.

[Ronnie]

So then they're paddling together in the water, her and Florina and Dum dum. Flinders is on a pink blow up flamingo and he splashes her and I was like, look, after all of this and you still get a pipe view. Am I right?

[Maddie]

Flinders is such a fun person to be around. I think it's still too early to decide on things things. But we'll see. Oh, wait a second. I decided. No, I hate him.

[Ben]

Get out of my face.

[Ronnie]

So just to update you, I'm pretending to be Flinders with this texting lady. She said, I said Flinders, what's yours? Nice to meet you, Flinders. My name is Patty, lives in Los Angeles and you. And I said so great to meet you. I live in San Diego and I write children's songs and I'm getting nothing back. I think even she has better taste case than to with Flinders, you know?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Gotta hand it to you, Flint. You, you actually got the text hooker to stop texting me. That's crazy. Well done.

[Ben]

Yeah, Lynn, well done. Well on that note, what a wacky strange episode. It's amazing. It's amazing what they find on this show. Thanks everyone for listening. If you've got suggestions for Dwell, hello email, watch for crappins gmail.com and put it Dwell, hello suggestion in the subject line and that way we will find it when we type in the same thing into our email and find all the suggestions. So thanks everyone.

[Ronnie]

Bye everybody.

[Maddie]

Catch the next one by.