Episode Summary: Watch What Crappens – Dwell Hello #406: A Fanboy Needs Some Space in LA

Podcast: Watch What Crappens
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Air Date: March 12, 2024
Episode Focus:
A hilarious, snarky House Hunters recap set in LA's San Fernando Valley, following "fanboy" Mike's quest for enough space to display his memorabilia – and the ever-sassy commentary of his friend (and sidekick) Vanessa. Ben and Ronnie riff on the bleak real estate options, LA culture, and Bravo-adjacent tangents, with trademark shade and affection.

Main Theme / Purpose

The episode offers a comedic recap of the House Hunters episode "A Fanboy Needs Some Space in LA" (S162E19), in which an autograph-obsessed collector named Mike searches for a Valley home to house his memorabilia collection. Ben and Ronnie bring their Bravo-fan energy to eviscerate the Valley's real estate, Mike's lifestyle, and the lovable dysfunction of the Valley dream.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introducing the Episode & Context

• Ben and Ronnie explain they're recapping a Valley-themed House Hunters to tie into Bravo’s The Valley premiere.
  • "[This episode] was suggested by Anita. We watched this on Max. If you want to watch it just search for 'A fanboy needs some space in LA'..." (01:57 – 02:13)
• Early Valley-shaming sets the tone:
  • Ben: "You can watch this House Hunters episode and realize I was right all along. It is a depressing, depressing place." (02:21)
  • Ronnie: "This show doesn’t make any place look great... In America, it’s like why do people live in that sh**hole?" (02:44)

Meet Mike: The Doughy Clark Kent

• Mike is introduced as a "doughy Clark Kent" with "a little bit of Corey Feldman in there, too." (02:51 – 03:15)
• The Valley is painted as the graveyard of faded high school dreamboats who came to LA and became just another face in the crowd:
  • Ben: "This is when the person who was the stud of the school musical comes to LA and realizes everyone’s done that, and now you’re just one of many..." (03:33)
  • Ronnie: "Before you know it, you're chasing Courteney Cox down for autographs to sell." (03:56)

Vanessa: The Disney Villain Bestie

• Mike’s friend Vanessa is described as having Disney villain eyebrows ("I wouldn’t be surprised if she was a double for Jafar"), and their banter is loaded with ruthless affection. (04:28 – 04:54)

Autograph-Obsessed Lifestyle

• Mike’s agent narration: "Fanboy Mike wants a place big enough to display his fanboy memorabilia…but if he has to sacrifice a king-sized bed, that’s okay because he’s not sleeping with anyone anytime soon, if you catch my drift." (07:29)
• Ronnie and Ben have no patience for Mike’s memorabilia:
  • Ronnie: "Don’t be like, I need shelves for Courteney Cox’s jacket… you don’t need something for Jen Aniston’s discarded cigarette… pretend you have a real job." (06:03)
  • Ben: "This is definitely a guy who goes to those conventions that Kim Richards goes to..." (06:28)
• The pair riff on the modern selfie replacing the autograph, mock-plot the "mother’s maiden name" convention, and joke about the sadness of collecting autographs from D-list celebrities (07:01 – 07:17).

Episode Narrative & House Tour Recap

House #1: NoHo Condo (Beige-ville)

• Marilyn the realtor is introduced ("The most important thing in real estate is location, location, location. You're gonna live in the middle of a sh***y toilet but it’s gonna be in a good location." – 30:45).
• The condo’s “neutral” tones and practical square footage for displaying memorabilia get faint, often sarcastic praise.
  • Ronnie: "There was a closet on the balcony. He goes, oh my god, so much square footage. No, it’s not...It’s not even the length of a twin bed." (32:00)
• Obvious drawbacks: bad floors, dated decor, terrible view.
  • Ben: "Look at this view, you can actually see the H. Salt Fish & Chips from here..." (33:53)

House #2: Tarzana Townhouse (“Disaster, Run Down”)

• Described as "very Midwest"—the ultimate backhanded LA compliment.
• Ronnie: "Everything about it is really bad…what you see in the Valley, all built up in the 60s, so they’re just rundown…" (37:42, 37:51)
• Jokes about HOA fees ($509/month!) and the impossibility of fixing it ("Sure, the guy whose income is selling Joe Souza's autograph is gonna pay for a gut renovation..." – 39:54)
• Recurring theme: LA real estate agents always recommending “just change the flooring, the walls, the ceiling, the location…”

House #3: Van Nuys Charmer ("the Adorable One")

• The only property getting genuine approval: "This one's adorable...Honestly, I would take this one." (43:03)
• "Adorable and Van Nuys don’t often get paired together," Ben notes, but both hosts admit they know the area and it can be cute (40:46).

House-Hunting Practicalities & LA Geography Gags

• Discussions of misleading LA neighborhood names ("North Hollywood is nowhere near Hollywood!"), the deceptive "Beverly Plaza" hotel scam, and reminders to "look at your maps" (23:11 – 24:05).
• Vanessa advocates for the west side and more affordable prices, but is undermined for her “couch nails on your sweater” (26:26).

Banter, Bravo Tangents, and Memorable Anecdotes

• Ronnie and Ben reminisce about their own LA and Hollywood experiences: seeing Friends taped, working as a sitcom PA, awkward encounters with celebrities (Brad Pitt, Diane Cannon, Markie Post, Erik Estrada) (09:41 – 11:10, 24:43 – 25:47).

  • Quote: "When I first was previous to working on Three Sisters, I was also working on a TV show called Andy Richter Controls the Universe..." (24:43)

• Explosive chemistry between the hosts as they roast each other (“If anyone in this room is wearing a mocap, it’s Ben, because he’s a homo.” “I’m a mocap – got my mocap on.”) (05:29 – 05:34)

• Constant digressions mock the state of LA real estate, the inevitability of fading dreams, and the aging-out of hotness:

  "Take it from us, kids: Age doesn’t make you ugly, it just makes you sadder to other people..." (18:16)

  "There are certain people you meet and they become family. Vanessa is family… an awful, awful member of my family." (18:39)

Mike & Vanessa’s Relationship – Co-Dependence & Roasts

• Behind the barbed jokes, they note the real connection:

  "There are certain people you meet and they become your family. And Vanessa is family. An awful, awful member of my family." (18:39)

• Their banter with Danny Bonaduce at an autograph event is peak cringe-comedy:

  • "I just called Michael a loser to Danny Bonaduce." (22:16)

Decision & Reveal

• Mike ends up choosing the three-story Tarzana condo – the "hideous" one with the high HOA.
  • "He did it. He got it. And it is, by the way, disgusting." (46:36)
  • Ben: "There are a lot of times people move into houses and you’re like, what were they thinking? But then they move their furniture in and it looks cute. This? I feel bad for anyone who gets invited to Mike’s fanboy house." (46:41 – 46:56)
• Even after price drops, it's still a fixer-upper disaster. Ronnie: "He's going to have to put that much into it to make it decent. It's awful…an asbestos trap." (46:26, 46:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben (02:21): "You can watch this House Hunters episode and realize I was right all along. It is a depressing, depressing place."
• Ronnie (07:29): (Of the House Hunters narration) "Fanboy Mike wants a place big enough to display his fanboy memorabilia…but if he has to sacrifice a king-sized bed, that’s okay because he’s not sleeping with anyone anytime soon, if you catch my drift."
• Ronnie (18:16): "Take it from us, kids: Age doesn't make you ugly, it just makes you sadder to other people."
• Ben (24:43): "When I first...was working on Andy Richter Controls the Universe...they lived in Toluca Lake, and whenever I go into Toluca Lake, I think about Markie Post. RIP Markie Post."
• Ronnie (32:00): "There was a closet on the balcony. He goes, oh my god, so much square footage. No, it’s not...It’s not even the length of a twin bed."
• Ben (46:41): "There are a lot of times people move into houses and you’re like, what were they thinking? But then they move their furniture in and it looks cute. This? I feel bad for anyone who gets invited to Mike’s fanboy house."

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------------|---------------| | Episode intro & purpose | 01:15 – 01:57 | | Valley as dashed-dream graveyard | 02:21 – 03:57 | | Mike "Doughy Clark Kent" and Vanessa intro | 02:51 – 04:54 | | House 1: NoHo Condo review | 30:03 – 34:14 | | House 2: Tarzana disaster townhouse | 36:20 – 40:08 | | House 3: Van Nuys adorable house | 40:17 – 44:12 | | Decision, the tragic reveal, hosts’ reactions | 46:29 – 47:26 | | Los Angeles real estate/Bravo tangents | 09:41 – 29:59, recurring throughout | | Notable Vanessa & Mike friendship riff | 17:01 – 19:04 | | Sad celebrity signings & Pete Rose anecdote | 19:04 – 21:23 | | LA geography and housing advice | 23:11 – 24:05 |

Tone & Style

• Full of affectionate snark, pop culture references, and personal anecdotes.
• The banter oscillates between lovingly roasty, self-deprecating, and surprisingly insightful for fans of LA culture, House Hunters absurdity, and Bravo universe characters.
• The episode maintains its trademark "mock because we love" sensibility—relentlessly ribbing both the House Hunters subjects and their own slightly tragic LA real estate experiences.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a witty, meandering, and savage breakdown of House Hunters' LA Valley episode, but more than that, it's a love letter (of sorts) to the sad dreams, tacky condos, and permanent adolescent vibes of Los Angeles. Whether talking about the indignities of collecting faded star autographs or the quirks of Valley real estate, Ben and Ronnie keep it fast, funny, and (just barely) affectionate.

If you’ve ever wondered how real-life Bravo fans might survive (and fail) house hunting in LA, or just want to laugh ‘til it hurts at a fanboy’s quest for shelf space, this one’s not to be missed.