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- [00:00]
A
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- [00:27]
B
Delivery available for select devices purchased@boostmobile.com here's how to stay alive longer so you can enjoy Boost Mobile's unlimited plan with a price that never goes up. Do not mistake a wasp nest for a pinata. Stay alive and switch now at boost mobile. After 30 gigs, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Mobile unlimited plan.
- [00:49]
A
Ding dong.
- [00:56]
B
Ding dong.
- [01:16]
A
Well, hello. Well, hello and welcome to Dwell. Hello, I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.
- [01:27]
B
Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?
- [01:30]
A
So good. Everybody. Welcome to Dwell.
- [01:32]
B
Hello.
- [01:32]
A
This is a very special epis episode because the Valley is coming on next week.
- [01:39]
B
Ish.
- [01:40]
A
Two weeks. I don't know, something like that. This month on Bravo. Yeah, a new show about the valley. And so we decided to do a house hunters deep dive into the valley in an episode called.
- [01:52]
B
What is it called?
- [01:53]
A
Hold on, let me.
- [01:54]
B
Fanboy something about Fanboy something.
- [01:57]
A
It's called a fanboy needs some space in LA. This was suggested by Anita. It's episode. It's season 162, episode 19. We watched this on Max. If you want to watch it on Max, just go on there and search for the title. A fanboy needs some space in la and it'll pop right up.
- [02:13]
B
Yeah, this is a very exciting one because sometimes people are like, ben, don't make fun of the Valley. It's like it's really nice and it's really. It's starting to get to be mean now when you make fun of the valley. But then you can watch this House Hunters episode and realize I was right all along. It is a depressing, depressing place.
- [02:34]
A
Well, they certainly, you know this show really. Unless it's House Hunters International, this place does. This show doesn't make any place look great.
- [02:42]
B
No, it really does.
- [02:43]
A
International makes you want to move everywhere.
- [02:45]
B
Yeah.
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A
In America, it's like, why do people live in that shithole?
- [02:49]
B
No, I'm just kidding. But these are two. These are three very depressing places that this guy looks at. So we meet this person, it's the in, it's the introduction, and we see this guy that you describe as a doughy Clark Kent. I feel like that's a very strong. That's a. That's a. That's a solid way with like a little, like a little bit of Corey Feldman in there too. Right.
- [03:14]
A
I can see that. I feel like la. I don't know why, but the Valley specifically is where you see people who are like, oh my God, you're so handsome. You're like Clark Kent. You've got big muscles. You should move to la. And then they do. And then this is what. This is like 20 years later. This is what happens most people.
- [03:34]
B
Yeah. When they don't quite make it. When this is when like the person who's like the stud of like the school musical, like the High School Musical, like, you're so handsome. You should be an actor. They come to LA and they realize that everyone from every small town has done that. And now you are just one of many pretty good looking people and you have to stick out from the pack and you can't do it. So then you wind up on this guy's trajectory.
- [03:57]
A
Yeah. Then before you know it, you're chasing Courtney Cox down for autographs to sell.
- [04:01]
B
Yeah. You're that person who stands outside the stage door for Jimmy Kimmel asking for autographs every single night. Yep.
- [04:07]
A
So that's, that's this episode. So we see him looking at houses with his friend who I think moved there. I think his friend. People were like, oh, my God, you look like a Disney villain who wants to kill a princess. You should move to LA and be a cartoon model. And she was like, I'm doing it and this is her, you know, 25 years later or whatever. I think she had a stronger chance than him, though.
- [04:28]
B
I'm gonna say she did.
- [04:29]
A
She definitely did her eyebrow work alone. I wouldn't be surprised if she was a double for Jafar. Like a. What do you call it? Like a still model or whatever for Jafar.
- [04:39]
B
Like she did the mo cap. Yeah, yeah.
- [04:43]
A
Is that the thing with the sensors all over?
- [04:44]
B
Yeah. With the little ping pong balls and.
- [04:47]
A
It just reads your eyebrow movements to like make the dist. Disney villain look even more humanly villainous.
- [04:51]
B
Well, you know, Dom. Dom was. Dom was that for Dr. Facilier in the Princess and the frog.
- [04:57]
A
That's amazing.
- [04:57]
B
Isn't that crazy?
- [04:58]
A
Yeah, that was a cool.
- [04:59]
B
Not for the whole movie, but there's, like, one musical number where Dr. Facilier is like, I guess the prince, before he gets turned into a frog, goes to see Dr. Facilier, and Dr. Facilier is like, come on in. And then sings a whole song. And Dr. Facilier dances all around. And they mocapped Dom, and they used his dancing for Dr. Facilier's dancing.
- [05:20]
A
I love that. That's so cool.
- [05:22]
B
And also, Dr. Facilier literally looks like Dom, which is hilarious.
- [05:24]
A
That's Ben's boyfriend.
- [05:25]
B
That's my boyfriend, by the way. Ben's gay. I'm gay, by the way.
- [05:30]
A
If anyone in this room is wearing a mocap right now, it's Ben, because he's a homo. Okay.
- [05:35]
B
I'm a mocap. Got my mocap on. For this episode. Ronnie is surprisingly straight, so who would have thought?
- [05:44]
A
Yeah, might as well be. At this point, I'm out of use. I'm the Doughey Clark Kent of this recap. So, yeah, no one ever told me I could be Clark Kent. But you know what? That's for therapy. So Mike, they're looking for places, and Mike's like, oh, there's plenty of space shelf for my autographs. Now, look, I get it. Like, you're a memorabilia person. I'm not trying to shame a memorabilia person, but shame yourself a little bit. Like, don't be like, I need shelves for Courteney Cox's jacket, you know? Or like, I know Jennifer Aniston. It's only friends, people that he's stalking in my mind. But, like, you don't need something for, like, Jen Aniston's discarded cigarette. You know what I mean? Put that in a closet somewhere. Pretend you have a real job for a while.
- [06:28]
B
This is definitely a guy who goes to those conventions that Kim Richards goes to to sign autographs. And I'm not even joking. Yeah, like, when we saw that in Beverly Hills, we saw her go to the. Where it's like her and the guy from the Blue Lagoon. And then also, you know, like, Christy McNichol. And everything you want, you say, like, who goes to these conventions? It's this guy. It's like a big guy, you know? And which is weird because I always feel. I. I feel like these days, the. The autograph has been replaced by the selfie with a celebrity.
- [06:57]
A
Right.
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B
I feel like that is the modern autograph. So I feel like he's in a dying industry, too.
- [07:02]
A
Well, we can just do so much more with your autograph. Now. That's nefarious. That's true. I don't think people should be just out there signing. It's like, I'm going to go to a convention where I get all the celebrity Social Security numbers.
- [07:13]
B
Yeah, that's true too.
- [07:14]
A
I'm going to go to your mother's maiden name convention. It's going to be so fun.
- [07:18]
B
Yeah.
- [07:18]
A
Hey, Patrick Duffy, what's your. What's the first street you grew up on?
- [07:21]
B
Are you related to Julia Duffy?
- [07:24]
A
Was she in look who's Talking Baby?
- [07:27]
B
Baby Talk. The TV show.
- [07:29]
A
The TV show.
- [07:30]
B
So the narrator Linda says fanboy Mike wants a place big enough to display his fanboy memorabilia in la. But if that means sacrificing a king sized bed, that's okay because he's not sleeping with anyone anytime soon, if you catch my drift.
- [07:46]
A
I love that Linda fucking hates Mike. Like, Mike just needs a fucking place to be a loser. A really, really big smelly loser. Hopefully we can find a building where no one has a sense of smell so Mike doesn't get kicked out because wow, what a loser.
- [08:02]
B
Mike needs a shelf put all the photos of him with his never girlfriends.
- [08:11]
A
So then we see his friend Vanessa, the Disney villain. Like, how much is this price again? That's too much for Mike. Mike, Mike. It's too much. And he's like, oh, that's Vanessa. She's always worrying about the cost of things. And she goes, it's because I care. He's like a brother to me. A big smelly, losing brother.
- [08:29]
B
A brother who sadly chases around stars from yesteryears for autographs that won't earn him any money whatsoever.
- [08:36]
A
Yeah, but I do get the jerk off to Danny Bonaduce pictures later. So stay tuned.
- [08:46]
B
So yeah, so we. It's the intro. So we see like little clips of what's to come. Basically Vanessa being massively disappointed in every choice that Mike makes.
- [08:55]
A
Pretty much. And rightly so. You know, she isn't much better though because she's acting like she has all this taste. She's dressed like a couch. She has a couch detailing. You know those nails, her scotch nails. What are they called?
- [09:08]
B
Studs that they have? Oh, this one. I got this sweater at Seaman's. Yeah, so. So yeah, so now we just wind up here where now we settle in.
- [09:21]
A
Another drink?
- [09:22]
B
No, I'm good because I'm still working on my coffee and my topo chico from Rules. I drink very slowly actually. So we're seeing shots of the Valley Beautiful, beautiful. Shots taken from Mulholland Drive. We see Universal Studios. We see just like.
- [09:36]
A
I love that area. I mean, that's the part where I went, stop yelling.
- [09:39]
B
Stop yelling.
- [09:40]
A
I know.
- [09:40]
B
That was really bad. I love that.
- [09:42]
A
Yeah, I know I did, because I just took the longest thing of mineral water. And you know when you do that, how you're like, don't burp, don't burp, don't burp. So I'm overcompensating, I guess, with voice tone. But, yeah, I think I went to see Friends get taped years ago. I mean, I was 20. God, that shows old. I'm old. We're dying.
- [10:03]
B
We're old people.
- [10:05]
A
Yeah. Anyway, I want to see that getting taped years. And it was the episode where Brad Pit was in it.
- [10:11]
B
You saw Friends, so.
- [10:12]
A
Yeah, I saw Friends with.
- [10:13]
B
You saw the Brad Pit episode.
- [10:14]
A
I saw the Brad Pit episode. It was so amazing to see it, too. Just I'd never seen it or how it worked. I'd never been to LA like that. I lived in Long beach, which my cousin told me was la.
- [10:23]
B
That it technically is.
- [10:25]
A
It took me two hours to get there. So anyway, how.
- [10:28]
B
Staten island is New York City, you know?
- [10:29]
A
Yeah. So a friend took me to see Friends. I was like, this is amazing, this town. Like, all the canyons and, like, driving by, you know, now it just looks like you drive by it all the time. But seeing the Warner Brothers Tower guys, dreams. Am I right? Dreams.
- [10:46]
B
Dreams.
- [10:46]
A
And I passed somebody, and I was like, I'm the new Clark Kent. And they're like, no, you're not Uncle Fester, okay? The Uncle Fester parking is two blocks down.
- [10:56]
B
Ronnie's not lying about all the canyons. Like, I used to work as a PA on a. On a sitcom at Universal Studios, and literally, Diane Cannon was on that show. I was like, there are. When you're talking about. There's a lot of canons on in la, it's literally. You work with them. You were.
- [11:08]
A
I would have been amazed.
- [11:10]
B
She was awful.
- [11:10]
A
I'd have been like, how are your mudslides?
- [11:12]
B
She was awful. Really? Oh, yeah. I've told the story on this podcast.
- [11:17]
A
You know who I'm thinking? You have told it, and I'm thinking of Diane Lane. So let me look up while you tell the story.
- [11:22]
B
Diane Cannon. Diane Cannon was. Was wacky. And to be fair, I didn't really have that much interaction with her, so I really shouldn't say that she was awful, but everyone on the set honestly said she was awful.
- [11:31]
A
But she's won a Saturn Award so I can get some respect.
- [11:35]
B
She was married to like Dick Tracy or something like that, or Cary Grant. She's married to Cary Grant. But the big story that I just remember the story with her is that the show I was working on was called Three Sisters as a multicam show and when you have to change scenes, they have to move all these cameras down this path to the next set in the soundstage. And she was getting her glam done and I had to tell her, what is that photo? I was like, is that Zac Efron?
- [12:04]
A
She's like a Ken doll. She's with some kind of Ken doll face. An old guy with like a really crazy face. Why isn't it getting clearer? Come on.
- [12:10]
B
She is actually super. By the way, she's super religious. She had something at that time called the jcdcau, which was the Jesus Christ dying canon. Nu.
- [12:19]
A
She did not. Huh.
- [12:20]
B
Look at.
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A
You gotta love when someone puts their name on top billing with Jesus.
- [12:24]
B
Yeah. By the way, I'm like loving these.
- [12:26]
A
This guy. Is she fucking terrifying? Who is this guy that she's.
- [12:29]
B
It's like some husband. It's like some 65 year old who did. Has enough plastic surgery to look like old Zac Efron.
- [12:35]
A
Yes.
- [12:36]
B
Or kind of like Joanne.
- [12:38]
A
Sean. Patrick. Sean F. Oh, my God. He's. Anybody at home. I know this sounds like we're just mumbling to each other. Seriously, follow this and go look these people up because this is. This is going to be life changing for you. I'm telling you right now.
- [12:49]
B
Patrick.
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A
Fully.
- [12:50]
B
Yeah. First. First official Farrah Fawcett beauty product unveiled. So anyway, the point is that. So. So she was getting her glam done and the cameras needed to come by and set up where she was getting her glam done. And she was in her chair. And I as a PA they were like, can you tell? Can you move Diane Cannon? I was like, okay. So I go up to Diane Cannon and I go, excuse me, Ms. Cannon, I'm so sorry, but can do you might. We have to. The cameras are coming through. Can you move back a few feet? And she looked at me like I said, do you mind if I murder all your dogs? Because she had several little dogs. Do you mind if I do that? And then if I stab you in the heart with an axe. She was horrified. And she was horrified, but not nearly as horrified as the three gays that were surrounding her. And they looked at me like, who is this little fucking twink asking Diane Gannon to move? And they literally lifted her up in the chair. Cause she could not get out of the chair. They lifted her in the chair and moved her across the soundstage to get away. They're like, diane, you don't move a thing. We will do it for you. It was like the epitome, like gay servitude.
- [13:55]
A
Oh, gross.
- [13:56]
B
But the truth is this.
- [13:57]
A
Can't wait to move back. Looking for a place right now as we speak.
- [14:00]
B
The truth is this. The more I tell that story, the more I'm like, diane, Ken's the best.
- [14:03]
A
When you were a kid, you're like, fuck her. This is so humiliating. And how dare those gays.
- [14:08]
B
And now you're like, she really got her. She really figured it out.
- [14:12]
A
How is nobody carrying me across the soundstage right now?
- [14:14]
B
Why?
- [14:15]
A
What a fucking loser am I. I.
- [14:16]
B
Should have joined her congregation.
- [14:18]
A
Hundred Jesus is probably like, thank God I'm on top billing with this bitch. No one's carried me across a fucking threshold in ages.
- [14:26]
B
What a show to work on.
- [14:29]
A
We get shots of the Val and Vanessa's helping Mike go through his stuff. And she's like, oh my God, Mike, what is this? And he says, stop. Stop torturing me for no reason. You know that this is Courteney cox's jacket from Scream 2.
- [14:45]
B
So I work in digital marketing and affiliate marketing, and I'm also known as Ike the Fanboy, which of course you.
- [14:52]
A
Know that we're gonna go to at Mike.
- [14:57]
B
Mike the Fanboy.
- [14:58]
A
Mike the Fanboy. Let's check this out.
- [15:01]
B
Do you think he'll be face tuned or not?
- [15:03]
A
Oh my gosh. He has a website before his Instagram.
- [15:06]
B
Instagram. I don't want to look at his website.
- [15:08]
A
Do you think it's Mike Sammit? Mike the Fanboy one?
- [15:10]
B
He's a hashtag screenwriter, Hashtag podcast. Absolutely.
- [15:13]
A
Okay, let's see. That's.
- [15:15]
B
That was literally his profile.
- [15:17]
A
Really?
- [15:17]
B
Oh, God. It's him doing like.
- [15:18]
A
I love that. They put his incorrect handle up. They put Sam the Fanboy and it's Sam the Fan. It's Mike the Fanboy one.
- [15:24]
B
Not. Well, maybe this is the backup account.
- [15:26]
A
So maybe Courtney Cox got his ass taken off the first time.
- [15:30]
B
Yeah, probably. He. His profile picture is him standing back to back with Pluto crossed arms like 80s sitcom stance.
- [15:39]
A
If you're gonna stand back to back with anybody, it's Pluto. I know. So then he's. He's replaced Vanessa, first of all, with this chick. Let's see who this chick is. I guess Vanessa gave him too much shit. How cute is Angie? Okay, do you think that means they're dating. How cute is Angie?
- [15:56]
B
He's hanging. They're hanging in Santa Monica. Hashtag, I wear my sunglasses.
- [16:01]
A
Oh, God. And look who's not in this picture. Not in these comments. Her name is Vanessa. Vanessa totally got dumped by.
- [16:09]
B
Where's Vanessa?
- [16:10]
A
Where he got rid of her. And now here he is showing goodbye 2023.
- [16:15]
B
These are all his favorite photos. Vanessa doesn't make the fucking 2023.
- [16:20]
A
Vanessa's. Yeah, we're on here. Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed for Vanessa. What happened to Vanessa? Okay, this is, like, pictures of a lot of people that he's just met. And he's like, Jurassic park people. A Game of Thrones dinosaur. His house, a gay CBGB's. A few homely people. No Vanessa.
- [16:39]
B
I'm not seeing Vanessa at all anywhere on the screen.
- [16:41]
A
So this didn't. Oh, poor Vanessa. Okay, that's just another very pale person. Okay, so here we are looking in the Val, and Vanessa's giving him about Courtney Cox, which I think was the beginning of the end, I think when he's like, vanessa's gonna come in here and disrespect Courtney Cox's vest. Vanessa.
- [17:02]
B
Yeah. So his whole thing is that he collects memorabilia and autographs. And Vanessa's like, we gotta talk. I want you to start looking at a home.
- [17:12]
A
He's like, okay, but I talked to Marilyn, my real estate lady, and we're gonna have to push the house back because we're going to an autograph signing. Me and you, kid. Me and you.
- [17:22]
B
We just came in over the fax machine. There's a new autograph signing that's happening in downtown Burbank. Okay. So Marilyn's gonna have to wait because autographs need to be signed.
- [17:33]
A
And Vanessa's like, I'm Mike's friend. We met in Detroit on our first date of college. And he said, you have the highest eyebrows I've ever seen in my life.
- [17:42]
B
So I immediately started nagging him. So we see a picture of them when they were in college, and, like, they. They're. Makes sense.
- [17:52]
A
They're exactly who you. You would think they were in college. And I would tell him, he knew, you should go to Hollywood. You're hot.
- [17:59]
B
He looked good. Yeah, he looked good.
- [18:01]
A
He's still hot. You know, age doesn't make you not hot.
- [18:04]
B
No, it just puts you in different categories.
- [18:06]
A
Yeah, it just makes you different typecast. Like, you're not Clark Kent. You're the guy who runs the newspaper.
- [18:11]
B
You know what? Age doesn't make you less hot. It just Sort of puts you into more specialized kink categories, perhaps. You know.
- [18:16]
A
Exactly. Take it from us, kids, age doesn't make you ugly. It just makes you sadder to other people.
- [18:24]
B
Makes you. It makes you more of a specific taste. So you will still be hot to those who have that specific taste.
- [18:32]
A
Oh, yeah. So you don't need everybody to love you. You literally only need one desperate person. Never forget that.
- [18:39]
B
You know what? There are certain people you meet and they become your family. And Vanessa is family. An awful, awful member of my family.
- [18:47]
A
She's like, die. I hope you die. I hope you die. Happy dye in your Courtney Cox jacket. It's like, okay, Vanessa, jeez. So we see. Yeah. The picture in college. So then we go to see this autograph thing they're doing, and it is with Mr. None other than Donnie Bonaduce.
- [19:05]
B
So, Danny.
- [19:06]
A
Bonnie.
- [19:06]
B
Danny Bonaduce. So they said. He says, like, I'm really excited about this one because I haven't gotten this one yet. You work in memorabilia in Los Angeles and you haven't been able to get Danny Bonaduce's autograph. Like, literally, I feel like any dry cleaner in this city will has a picture of Danny Bonaduce signed. Like, he gives that thing out. He is the most available celebrity you could find.
- [19:26]
A
Well, he's not saying he wasn't able to get it. He's just saying he doesn't have it. It's like, I haven't collected that one.
- [19:32]
B
You know, so well. But the thing is this. So when he said, I've never gotten this autograph, I was really excited. So the fact that it shows up. He shows up in this line in this random place.
- [19:42]
A
It says, like, food place. Danny is sitting. Danny's section is in front of the fast food ordering menu for, like, a 50 cent hot dog. I've. And I felt bad for Donny Bonaduce a lot of times. Danny Bonaduce, many times in my life. Never this bad.
- [19:59]
B
Yeah. And he was just there. Poor Dan. Just, like, sad and signing this autograph, you know, this wasn't even a real autograph session either. This was clearly, like, put together for the show. And everyone in line was like a PA On House Hunters.
- [20:11]
A
Yeah, Donnie was just available, you know. They passed Donnie downtown somewhere. They're like, hey, sorry to just stalk the outside of the bed, bathroom and beyond. But Donnie, you want to do a scene? He's like, fuck, yeah. Can we do in front of the hot dog sign? Because I'm really hungry.
- [20:25]
B
It reminds me of one time I went to Vegas and you know when you. You know how Caesars has that whole mall that's attached to it, you know.
- [20:31]
A
Yeah, Caesar's.
- [20:32]
B
The Forum Shops. So in order to get to the Forum Shops, though, you have to kind of like, descend down into it. Like, there's, like, this, like, staircases that go down, like, this weird, like, circle thing, but there's shops all the way around. And as I was descending down the path, there was like. Like a baseball. It was like a shop where you can buy baseball cards and stuff and baseball memorabilia and Pete Rose, legendary baseball player Pete Rose, who was, of course, like, he was, like, kicked out of baseball because I think he was gambling or betting or whatever, but he was doing something desultory with baseball. And he was sitting there at, like, a little card table at this baseball shop at 1pm and they're like, meet Pete Rose. Baseball's own Pete Rose. And he was just sitting there, and no one was in line, and he was just. Just there. And, like, in the. And the spiraling downward portion of. To get to the Forum Shops, it was just the saddest thing I've ever seen.
- [21:19]
A
The most fitting place for him to be. They're like, get him in the spiral.
- [21:23]
B
It was.
- [21:23]
A
It was.
- [21:25]
B
That's what it reminded me of. Danny Bonaduce.
- [21:27]
A
Poor Dan. But let me tell you, Danny Bonaduce is a very positive person. Like, he's having the time of his life, probably, like, just living on the smell of the hot dog.
- [21:35]
B
And he got a free hot dog.
- [21:37]
A
We see his headshot, and he's, like, wearing a fedora in his headshot, which is so that era, right? So he's doing that, and he's, like, making jokes with them, and he's like, so, what's going on, Vanessa? So you're Ursula. Is that what you're going for? And she's like, oh, we're here. Because this guy cannot. He needs more room for his autographs. I mean, this guy's ridiculous. Danny Bonaduce. And you can tell that she's so impressed that it's Danny Bonaduce. And Mike's right, because he's like, you're always giving me shit for this, but you're really into it, too, so stop shaming me. And she is. She's like, danny Bonaduce, cut the loser. Am I right? Oh, my God. I just called Michael loser to Danny Bonaduce.
- [22:16]
B
Like, where are the cool kids? How about, like, danny, do you want to, like, maybe go to Buca di Beppo after this? I don't Know, it's just down the street. If you're in the West Valley where I am, it's kind of the cooler part of the Valley.
- [22:24]
A
Do you want to go to Olive Mike has a fucking loser garden with me. Danny Bonaduce.
- [22:29]
B
Oh, yeah. He's got this useless autographed collection. He's not, like, cool like me. You know what?
- [22:34]
A
I.
- [22:34]
B
You know what? I collect men in my vagina. Want to be part of it? Come on, Danny.
- [22:40]
A
Oh, gosh. And so Danny's like, oh, so my headshot's gonna be like the last ones. That's gonna break the gamble's back, right? Because you've got so many headshots. Break the gamble's back. Can I borrow your purse? Just hold it for a second.
- [22:54]
B
So. So Vanessa's like, you know, the collectibles, they're such a waste of money. He could buy a mansion if he just gave up the collectibles. But I guess he would need a job for that too. But, you know, you know what I'm saying?
- [23:06]
A
So then we go to NoHo, and they're driving, which is North Hollywood for those of you new to the discussion.
- [23:12]
B
Which, by the way, for people who were like me and Ronnie at one time newbies to Los Angeles, North Hollywood is nowhere close to Hollywood. That's a very popular trap.
- [23:21]
A
Oh, it's a little hill between them.
- [23:24]
B
It's. And a studio city and a theme park and Universal City and Valley Village. Everything is in between noho and Hollywood's a big place.
- [23:32]
A
Okay.
- [23:33]
B
I'm just saying, people fall for that trap. They're like, oh, my God, I want to be in Hollywood. So we'll just go to North Hollywood.
- [23:38]
A
They also fall for the Beverly Hills trap because Beverly Hills, they trick you. They'll be like, that's in Beverly Hills. It is not. It's like downtown LA. They're like, oh, we're come stay here for 900 tonight. You're in Beverly Hills. And Hollywood and the beach, they do.
- [23:52]
B
It all the time. They'll have like some janky ass hotel that's like 30 miles away. And it's like, it's the Beverly Plaza. Like, oh, well, it's in Beverly Hills. I'm gonna stay there. Don't fall for it, people. Do your research and look at your maps.
- [24:06]
A
Yeah, call a Ben. Call me noho.
- [24:10]
B
We're in driving.
- [24:11]
A
They're gonna go meet Marilyn, the real estate agent who hates her guts. And I love Marilyn. Marilyn is someone who is told, listen, you're hilarious. You should go try something. She's like, I'll do it then. And she's, you know, I believe in Marilyn. I believe it's still gonna happen for Marilyn.
- [24:27]
B
I believe. I believe, too, but she deserves better than this. So. So Mike and Vanessa are driving around, but they're actually driving through the nice parts of the valley. They're driving through, like, Toluca Lake, et cetera. And they're like. I think they're kind of, like, dreaming of, like, what life could be. Or maybe he's trying to see.
- [24:42]
A
I went to Luca Lake. That's gorgeous.
- [24:44]
B
Toluca Lake. It's gorgeous. So when I first. Let me tell you something. When I first was previous to working on Three Sisters, I was also working on a TV show called Andy Richter Controls the Universe. And one of the writers on that show was married to Markie Post. And one day I had to bring something to his house, and Marky Post answered the door, and they lived in Toluca Lake. And whenever I go into Toluca Lake, I think about Marky Post. RIP Marky Post. Isn't that so sad? Markipost should be alive.
- [25:11]
A
I think it every day.
- [25:12]
B
Every day.
- [25:13]
A
Yeah. I'm like, marky should be here for this.
- [25:15]
B
So I'm like, this guy thinks he can live where Markipost lived. No.
- [25:18]
A
Yeah.
- [25:18]
B
Absolutely not.
- [25:21]
A
Sorry, Mike. Mike's like, oh, I get Markipost autograph. Maybe when we're here.
- [25:27]
B
Like, let me tell you. Let me see how many stories I can pull out of when I was a PA and that had to do with actresses up another time.
- [25:35]
A
I love it. We are just. This is your. A trip through your memories of.
- [25:39]
B
And then I had to deliver a script to Erik Estrada once.
- [25:41]
A
All right, all right, reel it in.
- [25:44]
B
That was the whole story.
- [25:45]
A
Leah Black.
- [25:45]
B
Leah Black just texted Ronnie.
- [25:48]
A
So Mike's like, you can't. But you can't. He's like, you can't beat this location. I wrote beaut. So I was like, do I mean beautify? I was like, that's harsh. What did Ben write this note, you can't beautify this location. It's the Valley, so it's close to all the studios. And he's like, I really want to stay close to the east side of the valley because that's, like, the easiest place to stalk people from. That's where most famous people are.
- [26:12]
B
You know, it's funny because it's really close to studios, as if he's getting some sort of role. But, yeah, it's just for him to climb over the walls and be. To Avoid security. So she's like, you don't even know what the west side looks like. Cause you've never come to visit me.
- [26:27]
A
Does anybody? So Vanessa's like, he really needs to check out the west side. Things are more affordable. We know. Vanessa, you're wearing couch nails on your fucking sweater, okay? You literally look like a dollar store.
- [26:40]
B
Come on. We have the last remaining Kukaroo. Come Visit me.
- [26:47]
A
Our McDonald's is so old, it still says thousands of burgers sold.
- [26:52]
B
We still have one last Boston chicken before it became Boston market visit. So.
- [27:02]
A
Blah. So she's like, yeah, you know, the. The house prices around here are insane. And you're not going to get a condo because the resale amount of houses, they're way better than they are on condos. And this neighborhood, oh my God. Very like. I mean, look, it's not my style, but I know you like it. It's disgusting, so I know you like it. I'm terrible, terrible taste. So of course you like it, Mike, you fucking loser.
- [27:22]
B
He's like, it's very Midwest to me. But I just want to point out they're still driving through the fancy area that he's 100% not looking for houses in. They're trying to con us into thinking he's moving into a nice area. He is not moving into Toluca Lake, okay? You cannot Toluca Lake Gaslight me.
- [27:36]
A
But I love that they're one of his positives in everywhere they look. He's like, oh, I love this place. It's very Midwest. What the fuck are you doing here?
- [27:46]
B
Go back to the Midwest.
- [27:47]
A
Go back. Who's holding you? Who's holding you down, Mike?
- [27:50]
B
He's like, it's very bitter. Well, thankfully Vanessa's on my side because she goes, well, I don't think you can afford this here. Yeah, let's go to noho. Okay, can we stop this illusion that you're moving to. To Luca Lake?
- [28:01]
A
She's like, oh, my God, this is it. That bus bench right there, you're gonna look so good there. Once you finally realize your dreams are stupid.
- [28:07]
B
You know what you're gonna love? Waking up and seeing that man's mustachioed face saying accidentes to you every single day. So she. He's like, I want a three bedroom. You know, as a freelancer, I'm in charge of my destiny and success.
- [28:22]
A
Oh, God. Everyone says that till they're hit by a bus.
- [28:25]
B
Accidentes.
- [28:27]
A
We're not gonna get off buses now. So Vanessa's like, yeah, and I want him to also have a three bedroom because he needs a rental income because he is a freelancer and we all know how that can go. I mean, he's not only a freelancer, he's a loser.
- [28:40]
B
He's also a freeloader.
- [28:42]
A
He's a free loser freelancer.
- [28:46]
B
Free Brittany, am I right? So she's like, no, I also want him to have a three bedroom, but like, he can't, he can't pay for that. Okay, sorry. It's the truth. But I just want him to be responsible.
- [28:56]
A
Yeah, I want him to have a rental income, you know? So Mike's like, how much is this one? And it's gonna be 625, which is nuts because I think this is an old episode. That's so expensive.
- [29:06]
B
Sick. Well, 625, like that area. No, everything in NoHo is like.
- [29:11]
A
I know, but this is like 10 years ago, isn't it? When did this take place, this episode?
- [29:16]
B
I have no idea.
- [29:16]
A
Aren't they all 10 years? I feel like everything we watch on here is 10 years ago. @.
- [29:20]
B
Least. What, what's it called? What's it called again? I'm going to look it.
- [29:22]
A
Up.
- [29:22]
B
What? The episode. It's.
- [29:24]
A
Called. Oh, a fanboy. Oh.
- [29:26]
B
Geez. A fanboy. No, no, don't. I, I, I'll look it up. A fanboy. House.
- [29:29]
A
Hunters. Okay, yeah, the fanboy in LA or.
- [29:33]
B
Something. A fanboy needs space in LA. Let's see, 20.
- [29:36]
A
19. Oh, so five years. But still that was pre covered, so everything doubled in Covid. Right. I just feel like this is a lot for that.
- [29:43]
B
Time. It just, I think it's just that their vibe is so 1993 that it just feels weird to think that this was an episode from five years.
- [29:51]
A
Ago. Yeah, it is kind of time travel. Y y, but you know what? So is the Valley. Sorry, be a hater. Ben said it, not Ben. That's the one who said it, not.
- [29:59]
B
Me. So then she's let me tell another Markipos.
- [30:03]
A
Story. Yeah, save it. Save it with a Markipos story. Save it. Save this boat going down. Okay, so the real estate lady is already there. It's this big, hideous. I mean, this apartment building is really bad. So they're walking up to it and she calls us. She's like, where are you, Mike? And he's like, which building is it? She goes, the beige one. And he's like, it's the Valley. They're all beige. Like literally every building here is.
- [30:29]
B
Beige. So.
- [30:31]
A
Hello. Hi.
- [30:32]
B
There. I'm Marilyn Cohen. He's like, oh, shit. I meant to hit up Mindy Cohen. This is a real disaster for me. I was supposed to hire Mindy Cohen as my realtor. Now I got this random Maryland.
- [30:45]
A
Lady. Well, just so you know, the most important thing in real estate is location, location, location. You're gonna live in the middle of a shitty toilet, but it's gonna be in a good location.
- [30:55]
B
Right? You'll have a stunning view of Lankersham.
- [30:58]
A
Boulevard. This apartment is hideous. It's got horrible, dark, dated hardwood floors. Really dated my mother furniture. I mean, no offense to her, but, like, we've had some big, big old. It's like, where they mix the leather with the fabric, and then they do, like, the old royal twirls on the wood.
- [31:21]
B
Just. It's.
- [31:22]
A
Bad.
- [31:23]
B
It's. So Marilyn's like, well, this is almost 1600 square feet. So you can. There's plenty of room for you to store your nothing.
- [31:31]
A
Here. He's like, I love the floors. Of course you do. The first thing I was like, oh, those floors. He's like, love them. I wonder if I could get Mindy Cohen to autograph these floors one day. You just pretend to be Mindy Cohen. Here's a.
- [31:45]
B
Sharpie. The laminates of life. So Marilyn's like, yes, they're very neutral. Very neutral. And Vanessa's like, well, the mirror door closes in the living room. That's nice. Oh, and there's a balcony. Is this the one that had the closet on the balcony? Yes, there was a closet on the.
- [32:00]
A
Balcony. Yeah, there was a weird closet there. And he goes, oh, my God, so much square footage. No, it's not. It's not even the length of a twin bed. And he's like, I could have a barbecue out.
- [32:10]
B
Here. Oh, my God, I could have a barbecue. I could invite Conrad Bane here. Is he still.
- [32:18]
A
Alive? So let's see. So Vanessa's like, you can put your hoarder stuff in that stupid.
- [32:25]
B
Closet.
- [32:25]
A
Okay? It's like. It's called memorabilia, Vanessa.
- [32:28]
B
Jesus. No, the locks of Soleil Moon Fry's hair are not memorabilia. That's just crazy.
- [32:33]
A
Stuff. It's just creepy, Mike. Okay, so it's a galley style kitchen, yellowish cabinet. You know that yellowish wood. It's not. Yeah, this place is just not good. And the furniture in every room matches, like, whoever lived here. Bachelor. Like, my. I'm guessing someone said this person looked like Clark Kent. It's all just matching furniture that they bought off one set in one store in East.
- [32:57]
B
Hollywood. You know, this is a place for, like, first of all, this is not a place that you'd ever want to buy. This is like a rental. And it's a. It's like, you just moved. You should be 23, and you just moved in, moved to Los Angeles with your two buddies, and you're trying.
- [33:10]
A
To. Someone just died here. Yeah, because you can tell because it's all the furniture. They haven't. Yeah, it's just. They. They just haven't moved it out.
- [33:17]
B
Yet.
- [33:18]
A
Yeah. You know, they're like, we'll give you ten grand off if you take all the furniture.
- [33:21]
B
Out. Whoever died was probably old, but still very hot to someone. Just as a reminder that just because you're older doesn't mean you're not.
- [33:29]
A
Hot. Just slightly sadder than he was 10 years.
- [33:31]
B
Ago. So it's.
- [33:34]
A
Disgusting. Lots of closets. This place is disgusting. I don't. I don't need to go on for. Oh. And she's like, look at that view. What a nice view. No, it's not, dude. It's a hideous view. It's like, of a telephone pole and five other buildings.
- [33:47]
B
Look. Look at this view. You can actually see the H salt fish and chips from here on.
- [33:54]
A
Vineland. So it does one of those weird things where the rooms all kind of connect. So you have to walk through a bedroom to walk to an office, to walk to another.
- [34:02]
B
Bedroom.
- [34:02]
A
Yeah. And they're like, this probably is not going to work. And Mike's like, the location is great, but, you know, I need more separation from the office because, like, I live such an intense life of work. I need, like, a balance between.
- [34:14]
B
Memorabilia and lifestyle memorabilia and Minesweeper. It's like, what. What is his office like? What is that? I mean, he obviously sells the stuff on. On his website, but it's called the kitchen table, Mike.
- [34:29]
A
Yeah. Figure it.
- [34:29]
B
Out. It's called.
- [34:30]
A
Starbucks. Yeah. Okay. So then he's like, yeah, I want more separation of office. And she's like, oh, well, we'll have to go west for that. You can only find more Office Separation on the west.
- [34:41]
B
Side. Tarzana. City of More Office Separation. Shall we.
- [34:46]
A
Go? By the time you get to the ocean, you'll actually have a door on the.
- [34:51]
B
Office. So I can't tell what is real and what is not real on this episode. So Mike is now.
- [35:05]
A
He's. Now we're seeing as the narrator. She's like, mike is about to learn that there are things even more frightening than going west in the Valley. I was like, damn, Linda is harsh.
- [35:17]
B
Today. Yeah. So we were in Mike's apartment by the Way we're getting a view of his life. And he's like, hey.
- [35:23]
A
Stop.
- [35:23]
B
Hey. Those are the original costumes from Facts of life in 1989. Please be.
- [35:27]
A
Careful. Vanessa's like, oh, wow. Facts of life 1989. Really scored one on that one.
- [35:33]
B
Mike. This is Cloris Leachman's original brassiere that she wore when she took over for Mrs.
- [35:39]
A
Garrett. Mike wants to live in the East San Fernando Valley, but his friend Vanessa wants to show him Tarzana, mostly because it's one of the only places her Disney villain eyebrows are.
- [35:49]
B
Acceptable. When I first moved out here 10 years ago, and I had to start over, Mike took me in. He watches out for me, and I watch out for him. Or when I say I watch out for him, it's more like I say, mike, what are you doing with your life? This is embarrassing for me right.
- [36:06]
A
Now. So this is a hideous place. So they're looking at another hideous place. And Vanessa goes, oh, my God, this place looks like Michigan. No, Mike. And he goes, but I love it. That's what I love about it. So. So.
- [36:21]
B
Midwest. Yeah. She's like, you know that tire that's on the side of the highway when you drive to Detroit? That's this place, the enormous, oversized.
- [36:29]
A
Tire. And the real estate lady's like, oh, you're looking for that third bedroom. Are you with that? That's downstairs. Doesn't get more separated than that, does.
- [36:38]
B
That? Now, do I do have to agree? This place is so much like Michigan that Michael Moore is down there doing an expose on your basement. Please be.
- [36:46]
A
Careful. The walls are terrible. And Mike, of course, is a straight guy, so he's like, they're Tusken. And she's like, those are called faux painted walls, Mike. All.
- [37:00]
B
Right. Yes.
- [37:01]
A
Yes.
- [37:02]
B
The. The mom from Silver Spoons actually made this. This painting on the wall.
- [37:08]
A
Here. So I thought sponge paint. He's like, oh, that was very popular in 1987. Like Tudi, who I have an autograph from, by the.
- [37:15]
B
Way. Oh, well, this is a nice office. I could really work from home and have, you know, have both lives, you know? Although I don't love these blonde prod. These blonde floors. Okay. That's a.
- [37:25]
A
Project. Literally two houses with wood floors, and they're both hideous. What is with the wood choices, guys? We shouldn't have. There's too many options in.
- [37:33]
B
Wood. This. This is just like an extremely, extremely sad condo that's three floors or whatever. But it's just, like. It's.
- [37:42]
A
Awful. Everything about it really bad. Yeah. And I think a lot of times in la and what you see in the Val, because the Valley was built up in like the 60s.
- [37:51]
B
Right? I think.
- [37:51]
A
So. So those places are all the 60s, so they're just run down. So it's like cotton, not what do you call the ceiling ceilings and just old shag rugs. And they don't really ever have to fix stuff up because the market, everything goes so quickly that they're like, why would I fix it up? You fix it up. You know, so you're always buying.
- [38:09]
B
Something. There's always actors that are desperate.
- [38:12]
A
For a roof over there, right. And they're just, they're thinking of it kind of temporarily, you know, like, I'll get this and then I'll be rich one day and I'll get something better. In the meantime, I'll just live in squalor in this shithole, you.
- [38:21]
B
Know? Yeah. So they sadness.
- [38:24]
A
There. And then in la, LA was built up a little bit earlier. And so those places are like old, old. And so it's okay if they're one down.
- [38:32]
B
Right? Because they're like the 20s or 30s. They're like bungalows. And so it's like, oh, the writer of Casablanca lived in this bungalow. Oh, the, the gaffer who worked on Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is in this bungalow. It's all.
- [38:43]
A
Nice. It's like leaking water out the ceiling. And you're like, oh, my God, how.
- [38:46]
B
Charming. Yeah, but like in the Valley, all the stories were like, oh, well, the person who used to deliver In n out to the mom from Mr. Belvedere lived.
- [38:57]
A
Here. It's like, that's where Lauren Bacall's understudy finally gave up. Right here in this living room. She said, I won't do this.
- [39:04]
B
Anymore. This dent was caused by a can of tuna that Lauren Bacall threw at her.
- [39:08]
A
Assistant. This is when Sally Field's hairstylist decided there's officially no.
- [39:15]
B
Hope. I'm going home. How dare you. Not Sally.
- [39:19]
A
Field. So let's see here. This one is big, but it's really run down and terrible. And Vanessa's like, I like the counters. It's like the only decent part of the.
- [39:33]
B
Place. They're trying to find something good about this.
- [39:35]
A
Place. And then he's like, look, there's a door. I can close Vanessa out with this door. So there's a lot. And they're like, like, what? This realtor is so funny. It's my favorite kind. She's just like, you don't like it, change it. Okay, let's just change the flooring. And the walls and the ceiling and move this wall and the location. Let's just build a new.
- [39:55]
B
Building. Sure. The guy whose ink primary income is selling Joe Souza's autograph is gonna be able to pay for a gut renovation of a three story townhouse in.
- [40:03]
A
Tarzana. So. And also this place has an HOA of 509amonth, which is.
- [40:08]
B
Crazy.
- [40:09]
A
What? So now they go to house three and this one's in Van Nuys and it's closer to the East Valley. Yeah. Now this one's adorable, I think.
- [40:17]
B
Because it's a nice little house. It's a cute little.
- [40:20]
A
House. Super cute old house. And the fifth, like a house from the 50s. It looks like my meemaw's house, but it's all redone on the.
- [40:27]
B
Inside. Yeah. And by the way, the words like adorable and Van Nyes don't often get paired together. I'll be honest. Okay. I go to Van Nuys every single work, every single week for game night. And we, Ronnie and I used to work in Van Nuys. We have been. I used to actually go to the Boston market of Van Nuys many, many.
- [40:46]
A
Times. Oh, yeah, I've been.
- [40:47]
B
There. So we know. We know Van Nuys. I'm just saying this because, you know, this could be someone's like, I'm sick of all your Van Nuys bashing. We are. We. We're up and down in Van Nuys. We have. They'll never reach.
- [40:57]
A
Us. They're in the Valley. Just kidding. I just make those jokes because I know they tickle. Ben, I really don't have much of a Valley rivalry because I've always lived in such shitty parts of Hollywood that I don't think Hollywood's nice. I mean, Hollywood's dope's terrible, and I lived in the worst part of West Hollywood, so to me that's a dump too. There's also something about all.
- [41:18]
B
Terrible. But I.
- [41:18]
A
Just. That's something that's so gross about la. But I still love it. I don't.
- [41:22]
B
Care. Yeah, no, there's terrible degrees. But like, you know what? Like Hollywood is my brand of terrible that I've chosen Frozen. Like, that's my style. That's my style.
- [41:29]
A
Terrible. It's your.
- [41:30]
B
Style.
- [41:30]
A
Yeah. But I don't think I've found my place yet. I would love to find your corner canyon, you.
- [41:36]
B
Know? Oh, you would be such a great Laurel Canyon.
- [41:38]
A
Hippie. I feel like that. But it's always, you're so in danger of dying there. Flooding, fires, coyotes, mudslides.
- [41:44]
B
Coyotes. But I just want Francis McDormand. I feel like is up.
- [41:47]
A
There. Ready? I saw that movie. Yeah. Laurel Canyon. She was so good in it. Terrible movie. I saw that right when I moved to la, I think. Anyway, maybe that's why I want to live there. I'm very easily.
- [41:56]
B
Swayed. I feel like Frances McDormand will come to your door and be like, hey, so you left your rake on my lawn. Yeah. You got to pick that up. It's a fire.
- [42:06]
A
Hazard. I don't know how you do things wherever you're from, but in Laurel Canyon, we take care of this.
- [42:11]
B
Shit. Yeah. This is. You're in our neighborhood now. You gotta treat it. You gotta clean it.
- [42:14]
A
Up. And you're just gonna, like, see her at that little country store. What's it called? The Canyon.
- [42:19]
B
Store. And she'll be really friendly to, like. She'll be really friendly to people behind. Behind, like, the counter. And she'll be like, hey, good to see you. How you doing? Everything's good at home. Good. Good to see you. So she's all. You think she's all nice, but then she comes up to your door, Ron, and goes, your dog is out of control. Yeah. And you gotta time control. It's gonna be an issue. It's gonna be an.
- [42:37]
A
Issue.
- [42:37]
B
Yeah. Hey, Pam. Good to see you. Good to see you. Yeah. You're gonna need to get your dog.
- [42:41]
A
Euthanized. I think she's like, her character Olive Kittredge, which is a great movie, if you have. It was a great miniseries. Series, but she's just this miserable. Well, I guess every character she plays, she's just. Just this miserable lady. That's one of my.
- [42:53]
B
Favorites. She does Misery so.
- [42:54]
A
Well. All of Kittredge. Watch it, everybody, watch it. Okay, so this house is terrible. And. Well, no, this house is cute. This house is.
- [43:03]
B
Cute. It also looks. It's also, by the way, this house gets a big, cute bump because we just went through two literal, hideous, hideous.
- [43:10]
A
Disasters. This one's cute. And it also has the original hardware floors, which is really nice. And they've updated it, but I like that Vanessa's like, oh. So they, like, updated it, but it's still old. And the real estate lady is like. It's called.
- [43:24]
B
Transitional. Tell me what you do in your life that you can tell me what I do in my.
- [43:33]
A
Life. So it's actually adorable. I mean, I would take this.
- [43:37]
B
One.
- [43:38]
A
Yeah. This is the choice. Well, this is cheaper than the other one, right? This.
- [43:42]
B
Is629. This is an obvious choice. This is the Obvious choice. But I was like, this guy, knowing him, he's gonna choose the wretched townhouse in Tarzan.
- [43:49]
A
Right? I had no belief in this guy. I was like, this guy's gonna choose the disgusting sperm coated one for.
- [43:54]
B
Sure. Well. Cause it's closer to Vanessa, so he can get her to do all the things for him. She's gonna. Vanessa. Cause Vanessa, the sort of friend that goes, ugh, Mike, you don't even like this. You can't do this to your. This is how you treat your floors? Okay, let me show you what you have to do with your floors. Then next thing you know, she's cleaning all the floors and he's like, sorry, don't know how to do.
- [44:11]
A
It. I'm just. I'm just a.
- [44:13]
B
Man. He's such a baby.
- [44:14]
A
Mike. Yeah, Mike's never gonna grow up, just like my brother. So he's like, well, this living room is kind of tiny. And she says, well, Mike, you're a.
- [44:22]
B
Sasquatch.
- [44:24]
A
Yeah. And he's like, I get it. But Vanessa, I'm also Mike the fanboy, okay? And this has to fit my.
- [44:30]
B
Stuff. I've been actually looking for Sasquatch's autograph for many years.
- [44:34]
A
Now. So basically this one's really nice, so of course he's not gonna pick it. So then we go to the real estate lady. There's a fruit tree in the next yard. And like one of the branches is hanging over and she says, look, fruit, it's in your yard. It's.
- [44:51]
B
Yours. Now look, Mike, you can ask this tree for an.
- [44:55]
A
Autograph. And this one has a pool. And he's like, oh my God, gotta admit, I love a pool. And Vanessa's like, I want a pool boy. So then we have to decide, right? So they're driving around and talking the pros and the.
- [45:11]
B
Cons. Well, you know, the house is adorable and is great and I could probably have a very fulfilling life there. And if I ever brought back someone who I was romantically interested in, whether it's a boy or a girl, they would see that and say, you know what? This guy has his shit together. So let's cross that one off the.
- [45:28]
A
List. Yeah, let's get rid of that one. Get rid of that one. I would respect myself way too much with that one. So then they. It's between the three story condo deep in the valley, which is past everything. He's never even seen that part of the world before. Okay? He's like Christopher Columbus discovering new.
- [45:44]
B
Parts of the earth, going past the 405, which is where Tarzana is. Is a. Is a surreal.
- [45:49]
A
Experience. And this is the one with the brown paint sponge painted wall and everything falling apart. Total disrepair. With the high.
- [45:56]
B
Hoas. Is this the one with the. In the bathroom where he knocks, knock the towel rod off of its.
- [46:01]
A
Hinges because he almost tripped and he grabbed onto the wall and the towel rod came.
- [46:05]
B
Off. The things are coming up off.
- [46:07]
A
The floor and ding dong, he gets a text. Guess what? It's Maryland. They have lowered the price of the hideous three story condo from.
- [46:17]
B
535. No, from.
- [46:18]
A
600. 635 to.
- [46:20]
B
600. So from 600 to 535. So now it's at 535. So he can't resist that.
- [46:26]
A
Deal. But it's hideous. He's gonna have to put that much into it to make it.
- [46:30]
B
Decent. It's awful. It's like an asbestos trap. It's.
- [46:33]
A
Terrible. He did it. He got it. And it is, by the way.
- [46:36]
B
Disgusting.
- [46:37]
A
Disgusting. It is whole. It is still disgusting. By the time they show him in there. Normally they show that it's fixed.
- [46:42]
B
Up and it looks cute. Like, there are a lot of times people move into houses and you're like, what were they thinking? But then they move their furniture in and it looks actually kind of cute. This. I was like, I will. Like, I feel bad for anyone who gets invited to Mike. Mike the autograph guys. Like his vad. His house.
- [46:57]
A
Yeah. And then he has. He's like, oh, my God, look at this sink, by the way. We have so much remodeling to do. Look at the sink. And it's one where you just kind of touch the edge of the sink and it turns on. She goes, oh, that's neat. He's like, no, it's not. Who would want.
- [47:09]
B
This? People who don't want salmonella maybe. I don't.
- [47:14]
A
Know. I laughed at that. Like, Mike just doesn't understand. It's like, why would you put electronics in a.
- [47:19]
B
Sink? Yeah, Mike has a way to go. But you know what, though? He got a house and he's happy, and that makes us happy. And we had a very fun time watching this.
- [47:27]
A
Episode. Yeah, we're hops. So, Mike, congrats. Vanessa, whatever you did to Mike, I'm sure he'll figure out your life is.
- [47:34]
B
Better. Your life is better for.
- [47:35]
A
It. Vanessa, you think? I think Vanessa misses Mike. I think she's like, okay, did I go a little far? I went a little far calling him a sasquatch and a loser. Maybe I went a little.
- [47:42]
B
Far. I hope Vanessa's still alive. Maybe she's.
- [47:45]
A
Not. Don't be like that. She.
- [47:47]
B
Was. I'd have to look it up to.
- [47:48]
A
Find. No, don't do that. Okay, everybody. Hey, Vanessa. Hope you're still with us, wherever you.
- [47:54]
B
Are. Vanessa.
- [47:54]
A
Mike. Guys. God, that would be terrible if we just killed. Did we just kill.
- [47:58]
B
Vanessa? We may. Well, I was doing that to give us a contingency. So that way, if it turns out that something tragic happened to her, that we have a moment where we could be thoughtful to.
- [48:08]
A
Her. Okay, if something happened to Vanessa and this was suggested by Anita, then Anita off for suggesting this. How dare you.
- [48:14]
B
Anita. You set us.
- [48:15]
A
Up. You said great episode, otherwise you're fascinated. Everybody, thanks so much for the suggestion. You can email us@watchwhatcrappinsmail.com and use the subject line dwell. Hello, suggestion and we'll check out your episode. We love you guys. Thanks for being.
- [48:32]
B
Here.
- [48:33]
A
Bye. Acast powers the world's best.
- [48:40]
B
Podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Greetings Adventurers is the longest running Dungeons and Dragons actual play comedy podcast that has been putting out episodes each and every week since.
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