Podcast Summary

Podcast: Watch What Crappens
Episode: Dwell Hello #417: Family Time in New Zealand
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: August 22, 2024

Episode Overview

In this lively and satirical "Dwell Hello" episode, Ben and Ronnie recap an episode of House Hunters International titled "Family Time in New Zealand." Listeners are treated to a comedic deep-dive into the trials and quirks of Scott and Amanda, an American family uprooting their lives for a fresh start in Invercargill, New Zealand. With a mix of Bravo-style snark and affectionate ribbing, Ben and Ronnie reveal the real (and ridiculous) challenges behind house-hunting abroad, family dynamics, and the all-consuming search for space—for both children and pinball machines.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Premise: Why Move to New Zealand?

• Amanda’s Motivation: Seeking better work-life balance and a meaningful career change (02:11, 04:21).
  • “They always feel like they need to have…some main reason that people need to move. Like, you know what? We really need to move because my wife has decided that she's really into pandas.” (02:11, Ronnie)
• Scott’s Role: Stay-at-home dad with a strong attachment to his pinball and skeeball machines. Repeatedly described, with loving exasperation, as a man-child with extravagant hobbies but no visible income (07:25, 06:24, 08:59).

First Impressions of the Family

• Haircuts & Households: Amanda’s hair and persona get roasted, compared to everything from Fantastic Sam’s customers to outdated paper towel commercials (05:04, 05:41).
• Domestic Dissonance: Amanda is a hardworking palliative care doctor; Scott’s main focus is transporting his arcade machines. Amanda is visibly weary; Scott is oblivious (06:24, 06:49).

The Properties: Three Houses, Endless Jokes

1. House One ("Modern Family Home")

   • Four bedrooms, two baths, six-car garage, and a boat (19:27–21:37).
   • Ronnie and Ben debate the absurd amount of garage space and Scott’s never-ending demands for room:
     • “When he said that, I was like, who are the sheep’s gonna be learning to drive?” (19:43, Ben)
   • Amanda’s practicality and frugality clash with Scott’s desire for more space for his games:
     • “I want a job for Scott. Get Scott a job. Why does Amanda have to do all this? She’s exhausted. Just look at her.” (06:24, Ronnie)

2. House Two ("Giant McMansion in Otatara")

   • Six bedrooms, two-and-a-half baths, spiral staircase—a fixer-upper way over budget ($525k) (31:19–32:19).
   • Ben and Ronnie riff on potential murder plots and the endless amount of space for Scott’s toys (and theoretical graves…):
     • “This woman just wants her husband dead. So I brought them to a gigantic McMansion with a huge style spiral staircase for her to push him down. Pretend it was an accident.” (31:19, Ronnie)
   • The excessive space and need for renovations highlight Amanda’s growing exasperation and Scott’s impractical wish list.

3. House Three ("Beige Bungalow in Gladstone")

   • Four bedrooms, under budget, close to Amanda’s workplace and schools (44:48–45:02).
   • The small size and proximity to neighbors disappoint Scott, but Amanda is drawn to the affordability.
   • Ben points out: “It’s also a nice house. It’s a perfectly nice house. It’s good for their downsizing. It has a big outdoors. That deck is huge.” (53:15, Ben)

The Amanda-Scott Dynamic

• The Running Gag: Amanda’s growing intent to "murder" Scott becomes a central comic motif, threaded through talk of boats, basements, and bushland (27:12, 29:30, 39:32).
• Work-Life Balance Irony:
  • Amanda’s move to work less and spend more time with family is undercut by Scott’s expensive space (and energy) requirements, all funded by Amanda’s reduced income.
  • “I know this is going to shock you, but the pinball addict and skeeball machine owner also likes classic cars. Weather shock. I know that's going to surprise everyone.” (28:20, Ronnie)
• Big Deck (and Bush) Jokes: Jokes about "big decks" and "bush areas" become increasingly absurd and risqué, often deployed as double entendres about the realtor Doug (25:20–25:46, 32:02–32:19, 39:19).

Property Market Satire

• Ben and Ronnie skewer real estate clichés (“supply and demand problem,” “six-car garage,” “good-sized formal dining room”).
• The hosts parody both the American and New Zealand perspectives on space, value, and domestic bliss.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• On Scott's Hobbies:

  • Ronnie: “You can't even get a convenient thing to be obsessed with, like a PlayStation, which would give you hours of new entertainment. It's old, gigantic things.” (10:43)
  • Ben: “Scott, I'm so glad that you've decided that the most expensive one, the money that you're not even contributing to, is the one that's most important to you.” (40:48)

• On Amanda's State of Mind:

  • Ronnie: “I love Amanda’s vibe. I like, Amanda just married somebody just knowing that she was gonna murder him one day. I feel like she's watched a lot of true crime. And she's like, I'm gonna be in one of these stories one day.” (11:57)
  • Amanda: “Well, I just want to make it. I can really just have, like, one small bedroom, and I'll be happy.” (16:18, as relayed by Ben)

• On Real Estate Jargon:

  • Ben (as Douglas): “Now, in New Zealand, the dining area is a place that we eat. I don't know if you have that in your house. Is in America.” (48:04)
  • Ronnie: “So Scott's like, well, it's not much of a yard out there. She goes, well, it's a perfect size for the kids to play. Make up your mind.” (47:50)

• The Murder Plot Continues:

  • Ronnie: “Doug, do you think this boat could hold a body as it's taken out to the middle of the ocean to get dumped?” (22:00)
  • Ben: “I was told that if you murder your husband in New Zealand, your only jail sentence is that you have to shear sheep for 20 years, which, honestly, I'm down for.” (29:40)

• Final House Choice:

  • Ben: “And three months later we see it and you know, know they're happy. It looks, looks cute enough. I would have gone with house number one.” (54:30)

Structure of the House Hunt (Important Segments & Timestamps)

• [03:27] – Setting Up the Premise: Introduction of Scott, Amanda, and their motivations for moving.
• [07:25] – Family Breakdown: Amanda and Scott’s relationship, family background, and financial situation.
• [19:27–21:37] – House One Tour: Features, budget talk, jokes about garage and boats.
• [31:19–32:19] – House Two Tour: Giant McMansion, renovation needs, spiral staircase.
• [44:10–45:02] – House Three Tour: Under-budget, close to work and schools, Amanda’s favorite.
• [52:11–54:30] – Final Deliberation & Decision: Arguments, compromise, and final choice.
• [54:30–55:05] – Epilogue: The family settles in, reflections, closing quips.

Tone and Style

Ben and Ronnie sustain their signature blend of snark, affection, and over-the-top comedic roleplay. Running jokes about murder plots, a “big deck”, and Scott’s childishness are delivered with loving hyperbole, while Amanda’s exasperation is played for both sympathy and laughs. Real estate clichés and House Hunters International absurdities are liberally skewered throughout, with wild asides and character voices intensifying the sitcom energy.

Useful Takeaways

• The episode is both a send-up of House Hunters International and a (comic) meditation on family dynamics, marital compromise, and the absurdities of moving abroad.
• Ronnie and Ben’s dynamic keeps the recap energetic, their improvisations and jabs adding depth and frequent laugh-out-loud moments.
• Anyone familiar with the domestic house-hunting process (or Bravo’s reality shows) will find plenty to relate to and mock, thanks to the hosts’ rapid-fire banter and creative detours.

Final Thoughts

This Dwell Hello episode is an uproarious case study of what happens when whimsical dreams meet the grinding reality of budgets and partnership. Through Ben and Ronnie’s relentless wit, Amanda and Scott’s New Zealand journey becomes a masterclass in both house-hunting comedy and modern marriage satire.

For more episodes and exclusive content, visit Watch What Crappens’ Patreon or search “Dwell Hello” on your favorite podcast app.