Dwell Hello #424: A Home Together on the Range in Canyon, Texas

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens – Dwell Hello #424: A Home Together on the Range in Canyon, Texas

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Air Date: November 29, 2024

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Dwell Hello" is a wild, affectionate, and deeply comedic recap of a recent "House Hunters" episode titled "A Home Together on the Range in Canyon, Texas." Ben and Ronnie dive into the eccentricities of rural ranch life, the quirks of Texans, and the memorable cast of buyers and realtors. The primary focus is on Brooke (an accomplished environmental consultant and roper) and her boyfriend Roadie (a contented cowboy), as they search for a dream ranch to call home together.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Introducing Brooke and Roadie (00:35–03:25)

• Brooke & Roadie’s Dynamic:
  • The couple currently lives in Roadie’s tiny bachelor pad on 10 acres. Brooke is over it, pushing for more space.
  • "It's his house, which makes it triple gross because that's some cowboy smell in there. Cowboys. Cowboy smell. Yeah, they smell." (Ronnie, 02:18)
• Professional Backstory:
  • Brooke: A world champion roper and environmental consultant for the oil industry—which draws heavy comedic skepticism from the hosts.
  • Roadie: Cattle rancher, horse trainer, and a man in no hurry to move.

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2. The Realtor Swingers: JT & Jamie (02:58–03:54)

• Realtors With ‘Swinger Vibes’:
  • JT and Jamie, a married real estate team, sell ranch properties and bring palpable, quirky energy ("crazy eyes and wonker face") to the episode.

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3. Riches, Acreage, and Rancher Life (03:54–05:41)

• Surprisingly high budgets (up to $3 million) and demands for 600 acres mark this as an above-average House Hunters episode.
• Ben on Texas Ranch Life:
  "Everything, it just looks like a big old playground for tornadoes...enjoy your house while you have it before a tornado comes and knocks it all down." (Ben, 15:19)

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4. Oil, Environmental Consulting, and Morality (04:52–07:22)

• The pairing of Brooke’s oil-industry job and environmental consultant title triggers much ribbing.
• Ronnie: "Oil is natural, okay? So have fun. Because that's my argument to you. Oil is natural." (06:46)
• Dialogue pokes fun at Texan defenses of oil and veiled critiques of greenwashing.

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5. Romance, Regional Stereotypes, and Gay Visibility (08:09–09:36)

• Ronnie laments the absence of gays at horse sales, reflecting on the heteronormativity of rural matches.
• Ronnie: "Straight people really take it for granted what they get in life, where you can just be like, 'Well, met somebody at the horse sale and we fell in love.'"

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6. Initial House Demands and Real Estate Jargon (12:48–14:18)

• “Open space, kitchen-to-living-view,” and the typical House Hunters wish list are lampooned.
• Brooke wants 60 acres, but Roadie wants 600, prompting jokes about what on earth one does with 600 acres.

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7. Touring the Houses

House #1 – The 2.2 Million Dollar Ranch (18:18–37:24)

• 320 Acres: Comes with barn, shop, arena, pool (“There’s a Macy’s on this property… some of these ranches come with a Macy’s.” — Ben, 18:33)
• Hosts riff on the scale ("Arena for tornadoes"), distance from barn to house, and whether Roadie or the horses are lazier.
• Brooke vs. White Cabinets: Brooke claims to not like white cabinets, prompting Ronnie's exasperation: "You're with Roadie. You don’t get a say in taste." (34:23)
• Ronnie and Ben spiral into riffs on Texan versus Yankee differences, the logistics of horse trailers, and affluent farm life.
• Laundry chute nostalgia and running jokes about the hard-headed horse’s campaign for mayor.

House #2 – The House With “Baggage” (39:00–45:16)

• Personal Past: Roadie reveals he took engagement photos with his ex (Pergola Benson) at this property, casting a pall on Brooke’s interest.
• Ben: “I think he’s actively married with a family on the side. I’m telling you that right now.” (43:11)
• House prompts much speculation about Roadie’s loyalty and the complex emotional calculus of returning to sentimental properties.

House #3 – The “Kim G.” House (46:19–51:11)

• Seller Kim (who gives “Real Housewives” vibes) is desperate to hit a $2 million price on her “pride and joy.”
• Interiors dissected: Ben finds them cluttered; Ronnie deems them East Coast ranch chic.
• Hosts crack up as buyers are served steaks during a showing: “Why are they eating steaks?” (51:11)

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8. The Final Decision (52:09–54:20)

• Choice: Brooke and Roadie opt for House #1 ($2.2 million), scoring the cows and furniture in their purchase.
• Memorable Moment:
  "He did. This was funny. He's like, 'Well, this is the fancy house. Now that I own the fancy house, we do take our boots off.' He's like, yes, I've come to realize the value in that." (Ronnie, 53:32)
• Ben laughs at Roadie’s evolution, finally conceding to Brooke’s standards.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On ranch demands:
  "You can't have 600 acres on your wish list and then be mad when things are far away. That's what I say." (Ben, 26:34)
• On oil and the environment:
  "You should get down on your goddamn hands and knees thanking God for oil. Guess who runs those factories that build your fancy batteries for your fancy cars? Oil." (Ronnie, 07:10)
• On Roadie’s temper tantrum over boots:
  "He's a cowboy, he's, like, literally walking in shit all day, and he still won’t take his shoes off. That’s really bad, Roadie." (Ronnie, 30:30)
• On House #2’s emotional baggage:
  "Maybe we could find that tree where I took that picture with Pergola Benson. They’re like, what? You were engaged to her?" (Ben, 41:26)
• On the final outcome:
  "He did. This was funny. He's like, 'Well, this is the fancy house...we do take our boots off.' Yes, I've come to realize the value in that." (Ronnie, 53:32)

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Episode Tone and Flow

Ben and Ronnie maintain a playful, irreverent, and affectionate tone throughout. Their banter flows easily between genuine real estate criticism, Bravo-style shade, and over-the-top hypothetical scenarios (hard-headed horse as mayor, anyone?). Regular callbacks, running gags, and gentle ribbing of Texan and Yankee stereotypes keep the episode fun and accessible.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:35–03:25: Meet Brooke & Roadie, intro to the episode’s premise
• 03:54–05:41: The scale of Texas ranching, budget talk
• 07:22–08:09: Horses, ranching, and heteronormativity in rural America
• 18:18–19:02: The ‘Macy’s on the property’ joke; exploring the sprawling first house
• 30:30–31:05: Roadie’s refusal to remove boots—tantrum and host frustration
• 39:00–43:24: House #2’s surprise revelation—Roadie’s engagement pics
• 46:19–51:11: Meeting seller Kim, examining the last house, and grilling steaks
• 52:09–54:20: The decision, the perks of House #1, and Roadie’s transformation

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Overall Takeaway

"Dwell Hello" #424 is a hilarious and acerbic yet affectionate breakdown of an especially lively House Hunters episode. Ronnie and Ben’s blend of sharp commentary, Bravo-world sensibilities, and Texas/New York cultural contrasts makes for a spirited, memorable listen—even for those who missed the show itself. The epic scale of Texas real estate, the couple’s quirks, and the memorable supporting cast (including hard-headed horses and potential swingers) offer plenty of fodder for the hosts’ quick wit and observational humor.

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Transcript

[A]

Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong ding ding ding ding ding dong. Hello. Well, hello and welcome to Dwell. Hello, I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

[B]

Hi, Ronnie.

[A]

How are you? So good. Because it's a house hunter's day, everybody. So excited to be here. Who gave us the suggestion for this? Do you remember their name? Ben?

[B]

I'm going to look it up and you keep talking and I will chime in.

[A]

Okay. Well, this is our house hunters recap show here on Wonder plus. Listening to this. You are with us over on Wonder Plus. So thanks so much for being here, everybody. We love doing these. And let's see, we're coming up into the end of our third season. I think of these, right. Third or fourth season of Dwell.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

And we've just loved every second of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gosh.

[B]

And Regina. Gosh, golly, gosh, golly. Regina, thank you for. For recommending this episode, which is called A Home Together on the Range. Regina recently sent.

[A]

Yeah, so if you want to watch this, go ahead and search that on Max. Just search the title. Home Together on the Range in Canyon, Texas. And here we go. We start with Linda. Rodeo Ropers, Brooke and Rodney. Roadie. Is it Brooke and roadie? I think it's Roadie.

[B]

I think It's Brooke.

[A]

And 10 acres in.

[B]

What I was confirming. It's Roadie.

[A]

Yes, it's Roadie. That's my mother's name because her name is Rhonda and she's always carrying a roadie in the car because she's very classy like that. So a roadie, for those of you who don't know, is an alcoholic beverage that you drink in your car. So, yeah, that name triggered me. So Brooke and roadie, they live on 10 acres in Canyon, Texas. And. And they might have a big acreage, but they have a teeny, tiny, shitty little house. It's very, very, very tiny. And it's his house, which makes it triple gross because that's some cowboy smell in there. And cowboys. Cowboy smell. Yeah, they smell.

[B]

Smell. But Brooks had enough of living in Rod and Rhodey's tiny house and wants something bigger. So we see them looking at these houses and Brooke is like, we've been looking for a year and he's procrastinating and it's driving me.

[A]

Yeah. So. Well, Rhodey may be able to commit if he gets the land he wants. And their agents, JT and Jamie, Crazy eyes and Wonker Face, married pair who sell ranch properties may be just the ones to get it done at the Very least, they can all swing. I got very strong swinger vibes. And the wife. I don't know who's JT or Jamie, which is the wife. She has crazy eyes.

[B]

Very crazy. There was a lot going on in this episode. I just want to preface this. There was a lot.

[A]

There were.

[B]

There were more people than usual, more talking roles. There was even, like, a lady who. Like a. Like a. A late episode new personality who just, like, emerged out of nowhere for a scene that was unexpected. There were horses. There were things that we were talking about that we've never had to talk about before. Like, does the house have an arena? This was kind of like, this is. This was a big, big episode for us.

[A]

It was a rich episode because normally in. Especially in America, in the American episodes, these houses are sometimes $5. I mean, they really are just like, can I. You know what? We're really looking to live somewhere that looks like the set of Roseanne. Could you make that happen? They're like, I don't know. It's a tough call. Might have to spend $10. Like, oh, my God, no. But this one, they're like, okay, maybe 2 million, and we want 500 acres.

[B]

I know. It was. I was like, this episode's crazy. So we're now at the ranch. We're at roadie's ranch, and they're on their horses. And he's like, well, I'm in no hurry to move. Says the guy who's perfectly content living in his shoebox. And Brooke is like, well, I would like to move. He's like, well, I'm perfectly fine living right here. I'm roadie. I'm a rancher, and I own a cattle company.

[A]

And she's like, and I'm an environmental consultant in the oil fields. And I grew up on. Wait. An environmental consultant in the oil field. So basically, you're like, okay, here's how we trick PETA. Here's how we trick the Environmental Protection Agency. Okay? Today we're all wearing blonde wigs and pretending that we sell lollipops. Okay, there's no oil here. Cover the oil rigs and sheets.

[B]

Okay? The last thing I was expecting Brooke to say was that she's an environmental consultant in an oil field. Just even an environmental consultant in general. I was just surprised that. But it's funny. I was talking to someone who works in oil, and. And. And he was talking about, like. He was talking about, like, investing in and everything. And I was like, well, I would feel like a little. You know, I like the planet And I feel like investing in oil is not good for the planet. He's like, no, no. Oil is very like, look, we care about the environment also. For instance, we only drill in private owned land, not public land. I was like, oh, okay, if it's land that you owed, you could do whatever you want to it. But so, like, when she said that.

[A]

She was like, well, we use oil. What are you gonna do? I mean, I know, but still, everything. I'm friends with oil. Oil people, oil drillers and stuff, they're rich as hell. And, and they're, you know, they've talked me into it over the years. They're like, ronnie, everything's oil. Hey, do you enjoy that plastic bottle you're drinking out of? Guess what? It was made out of oil. They're literally like, oil is in everything. So enjoy getting rid of oil.

[B]

It was not so much a question about that. It was just to me, like the way he was saying, no, it's environmentally. It's all it is. No, we care about the environment too. I was like, that's what this sort of environmental consultant is. I feel like she's the one who like, is like, well, everyone, we only killed three rabbits today, so I think we're going to publish that. We are good for the environment today.

[A]

Well, listen here. Oil's natural, okay? So have fun. Because that's my argument to you. Oil is natural.

[B]

Okay, well, I wasn't arguing about oil.

[A]

You know who's customer service? Why don't you call God? Okay? It's 1-800-say-A prayer once in a while.

[B]

Okay, well, I should know better than to talk negatively about oil to a Texan.

[A]

You should know better. Oil is what keeps this world going round. You should get down on your goddamn hands and knees thanking God for oil. Guess who runs those factories that build your fancy batteries for your fancy cars? Oil.

[B]

Well, the point is, Brooke as an environmental consultant in oil field, I just think is hilarious because I feel. I feel like she just publishes reports. That way the oil companies can tell people, no, look. Look at what we do for the environment. So roadie is like, and by the way, we also train horses and we sell them. And so we see them like they're doing this thing. They're walking in circles, the endless circles in with their horses, which, I don't know, is that like a thing that you do? Is that like part of like ranching is that you go around and around in circles? Wow. I didn't know. I didn't.

[A]

I knew where horses going to go.

[B]

I It turns out I knew very little about ranching before this episode. Like, I know that there are ranches. I know there. Ranchers. I know there's animals on the ranches, but I actually don't really know what they do on the ranches.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of circular, circular movements, especially these ones, because they're riders and ropers and all that good stuff. She's like a world champion roper. We find out and we hear their story. Roadie's like, brooke and I met in Clovis, New Mexico, at a horse sale. Now, let me just tell you that is something I would never say. And it's not that I don't want to meet somebody at a horse sale. I've been a horse sales. There's just no gay people. You know, I feel like straight people really take it for granted what they get in life where you can just be like, well, met somebody at the ropes at the. At the horse sale, and we fell in love. No, gay. I don't think any gays ever said that. Maybe there's maybe like one or two. It's not like there's none of us out there. I don't think, like, there. There are that many of us at horse sales. I've looked.

[B]

It just speaks to the privilege that straight people have is that they can literally meet anyone, anywhere. And gay people, it's like, reduced to, like, back alleys, gay bars and Creighton. Barrel.

[A]

Grindr. So they met at a horse sale. And he's like, I always heard about her, but I'd never really met her. I guess she caught my eye. Okay, why are we acting like this whole episode, I keep kind of thinking, like, he's the hot one. Like, they're acting like he's the hot one. The hot one here is Brooke. She's a fucking environmental hoodwinker. She's really cute. She's a world champion ropist.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And you look like the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Okay, like, who are you?

[B]

I know. He is so. He is. He is. Was it punching up whatever he is, like, she is so out of his league. And she's also, like, she's like a professional. You know, she has, like. She has, like an advanced degree. She, like, she went to business school, I think she said at one point, you know, and she's a champion rope. All these things. Like, she is so out of his league, and he is acting like he's the prize. I'm sorry, sir. You should be so grateful that someone like Brooke even looked Your way.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Because this whole time he's like, well, I don't know if I'm ready to be with Brooke full time. You better think you're goddamn lucky stars, roadie, because I don't know where you think you're gonna get that again, but you're not.

[B]

Well, Brooke moved to Rhodey's home here in Canyon a year ago. But she's over living in his 1,000 square foot bachelor pad and also realized she's been dating. She's over that too.

[A]

The house is tiny. There's just not enough room in there. Okay, here's what we have in the house. A hot plate. Roadie. Roadie. Skid marked underwear. Please save me. Okay, well, bigger house would be great. And Rhodey's like, it would be the perfect place if you're going to try and get me to move. Like, well, we need the perfect place. Change ain't going to kill anybody, roadie. Okay, it's not going to kill anybody.

[B]

He's like, well, you're pretty hard headed yourself. A lot like your horse. The horse is like, what the. Don't bring me into this. I've been doing my role. I've been going in circles and I'm not complaining.

[A]

I know, I like that he put in a hard headed horse joke. Like we all know what that means. I mean, I know what a hard headed Joe horse is, but he's like hit like her horse. Am I right? She's got the most hard headed horse. Tell him, Brooke. Like I'm betraying my horse for you. You son of a.

[B]

The horse is like, excuse me. I have been very flexible with both of you, okay? I rearranged my schedule to do this circle that you guys do every single day. Walking in a circle. You think I want to do this?

[A]

I want to be out wasting this beautiful main on this fighting. I'll tell you that right now. You two get your together. Okay? So the crazies show up, the realtors. And she's like, oh my God. Hi. I can't wait to find you a place. I found. That's the place. We're a couple. We have a place, don't we? Honey, tell them about a place like this. Lady's crazy Nuts.

[B]

To find the perfect ranch property, they've turned to the experts. Married agents slash swingers slash people who get into arguments. The golden Corral. And then in the back alley afterwards, JT and Jamie Haynes. A lot of back alley talk today. A lot of back alleys.

[A]

We specialize in selling the ranch lifestyle. Because that's who we are. We both grew up on ranches. And you know what? It ain't just a ranch. It's a lifestyle. What are you doing this morning? Milking some cows and cleaning some. What are you doing? What else would I be doing? I'm not. I'm living a ranch lifestyle, girl. What do you think I'm doing?

[B]

Guess what. We're serving on our salad. Not Thousand Island Ranch. It's our last style. So Jamie's like. She's like, okay, kind of like, lay it out. What are your goals? I mean, obviously you want more room. Is there anything more specific, Brooke? Are you interested in upgrading into a real man? She's like, no, I think I just want to have a big up a big open kitchen and open up the living room, you know, I want a closet. I want all the things like, okay, closet. Fine.

[A]

Realtors really have to get creative. Everybody just comes in and says the same thing. Open space. You know what I want to do? I want to be in the kitchen, and I want to see through to the living room. Do you think I can do that? No. Nothing's open space anymore, girl. Everything is open space. You'll find it. There are no rooms anymore. There's no walls. You know those people who invented walls, they're broke now. Okay, no walls. Yeah, they're not allowed. I'm surprised we even get to poop in private anymore. That's going to be the next trend. Just poop. Poop in the kitchen.

[B]

So JT's like, well, so I know y' all spend a lot of time outside, and you spend a lot of time at the arena training the horses. Do you want. Like, you want more than the 12 acres you have right now? And I'm saying that with judgment. Like, you only have 12 acres. Sort of makes you less of a man roadie, if you ask me.

[A]

So embarrassed for you. He's like, 12 acres? Jeez. That's nothing. That is nothing. How am I gonna live with just 12 acres in my life?

[B]

He's like, brooke.

[A]

Brooke.

[B]

Because she's a pretty little woman with dumb ideas. She was thinking about having 60 acres, but I'm thinking 600. What are you gonna do with 600 acres? What in the world are you going to do with 600 acres, brick?

[A]

Sounds good. Never seeing a neighbor. That's what I think 600 acres sounds good for, you know, because if. If anybody comes. Well, I guess it would be worse because you still will have people that live close so they will come to your house because if you have 600 acres, there's no target. There's nothing close by. And if someone needs a cup of sugar in Texas, they will bring their ass over 600 acres because at least it's closer than a target. And not only do you have to give them your fucking sugar, you have to sit there and talk to them an hour, because they just made a trip, probably on a horse. Yeah, it sounds like hell, actually.

[B]

You know what 600 acres sounds like to me? It sounds like an arena. An arena for tornadoes. Because everything in this episode is so flat. I don't know. What part of Texas is this? West Texas? Ronnie, what part of Texas is Canyon?

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. I've never heard of Canyon, Texas.

[B]

Everything, it just looks like a big old playground for tornadoes. Now, maybe that's because on the airplane the other day, the woman next to me was watching Twisters, so I saw a lot of tornadoes on the screen. So they're top of mind, but I was just like, enjoy your house while you have it before a tornado comes and knocks it all down, because that's what's going to happen.

[A]

Canyon is close to the city of Amarillo. That is. That is out there. I don't even know where that is. God.

[B]

I've heard of Amarillo, Texas, but I've no idea where it really is. Oh, it's western Texas.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Oh, it's actually Panhandle, West Texas, you know? No, it's Panhandle. There you go. It's out there. So.

[A]

So JT's like, so wait, let me get this straight. You're looking for six, between 60 and 600 acres. Is that what I heard? God. Dream big, buddy. Dream big. And Brooks like, well, I don't think we can afford 600 and road. He's like, and a barn. I want a nice barn. And attack room. That's all I care about. So roadie's like, well, I'm. If we're gonna move, I'm perfectly okay with spending 2 to 3 million dollars. I want it to be turnkey.

[B]

And Brooke is like, there's no way we can do $3 million. I have my business degree, so I'm a numbers cruncher, okay? And we can afford $1.5 million. That's it. Which, by the way, still pretty good. So he's.

[A]

So what? What do you guys do? So, wait, cattle ranching and environmental something or other, Pen. Let's do that.

[B]

I know. She's like, I'm an environmental consultant, but I'm a Number cruncher too. I have a business degree in environmental number crunching. So Jamie's like, she's like, well, I'm excited. By the way. Not the more that Brooke talks about her background, the more none of it makes sense. She's numbers cruncher, but she's an environmental consultant but for an oil field. However, she's also a champion lasso as I get how they all work together.

[A]

Got it going on. It's w. Yeah, she's. She can do everything. You know, this life, you can do anything you want in this life if you're just a go getter. And look at her. She's going to get her. That's what she's doing. She's waking up in the morning and they're like, hey, Brooke, what are you going to get her? I'm going to get her. That's what I'm gonna get. So I'm gonna do. I'm oven at em. So she's. The lady's like, I'm so excited to look for some places that fit both your needs and have more space for a brook. I totally understand. When there's no room, you gotta start decorating, building your life together, having babies. How do you not have b. That's what we do here. Cattle and babies. You guys are missing something. Hold on a second. Let me look through my purse to see if I have it. Of course I know. Because you're missing a baby. Have a baby.

[B]

All right, let's talk to your hard headed horse. Hey horse, what do you think about. What do you think about? Brooke honestly needs a baby. Say even the hard headed horse thinks that. And that's a stubborn horse. It's not going to say something it doesn't believe.

[A]

So we go to House number one is 2.2 million beautiful ranch style home with lawn and a pool. So nice. Oh my God. This property is perfect for them. It's got facilities, it's got land, it's got room for babies.

[B]

I love a house that has facilities. It has. Yeah. It's got 320 acres. It's got a beautiful barn, it's got a shop. It literally there's. There's a Macy's on this property. People don't realize it, but some of these ranches come with a Macy's.

[A]

Well, we actually don't have stores here in this town, but we do have a couple of girls named Macy. They'll come over and shovel some for you. I mean, they're saving up to go to high school.

[B]

Yeah, Macy, she's real Free here, but.

[A]

You do have to get transportation. A lot of acres.

[B]

So you may have heard how Barbra Streisand has a mall in her mansion. So this one does not have a mall, but it does have a girl who wants to work in a mall and her name is Macy. So be nice to her. She needs a.

[A]

Sorry, Barbra Streisand. Nope, I don't know him. It's a her.

[B]

Jamie, what did I tell you about mentioning coastal performers do not do that when showing houses.

[A]

So it's 320 acres. And JT's like, at 320 acres. It's got a beautiful barn, a shop, an arena. And Jamie's like, it just fits their lifestyle. I mean, they just live this lifestyle every single day. I mean, they ride, they sell horses, they have cattle, they have bait. Just kidding. They don't have babies, but they will one day. Hopefully. Hopefully we'll do this right. Okay, this comes with $2.2 million and some eggs stick inside of you and hopefully make some babies.

[B]

I mean, I don't even think we should look at another house. I mean, are you with me, hard headed horse? Okay, should we look at another house? Yay or nay? The horse is like, well, you know, I only have one answer to that question. I literally can only say one thing.

[A]

You think I'm gonna say nay to? Hey, come on.

[B]

Hello. The only thing I can say is nice. So that's a trick question. And I don't like you, but you put me in that. That situation.

[A]

But hey, hey, hey. I'd love some. Hey, Nate.

[B]

The horse is feeling aggrieved. So Jamie's like, so a lot of places around here, we find that they'll spend more on their facilities and their barns or arenas or even their shops or even their girls named Macy animals than they will on their home. Because they love that. That's what they love to do. They love, you know what, riding in circles on their horse. That is the thing to do. They will spend money on that Circle place more than on their homes. So, you know, it's. But what their passion is, what they're into. It's kind of like Barbara Streisand singing the classics. Honey, if you mentioned Barbara Streisand one more time, we're gonna start doing solo tours.

[A]

So we tried to do a little different when we try and show properties because we brought our horses out. So we're gonna get four on our horses and just tour the property. That's what we're gonna do. We're go on Our horses. All right, this. Let me tell you, this couple, not only probably half the neighborhood because they are definitely giving swinger vibes, but they also really put a lot into selling the house. Like they do. They do something for their money. And I think that's when you're making a lot of commission on a house, you really pull out the stops. Because this one, they're like, okay, we'll bring you horses. We're all going to take a horse ride. You know, that's so nice. And then later they like, make them a big dinner. They grill the horses, probably that they killed.

[B]

Yeah, they. Okay, jumping ahead. At another house, they grill up a steak and serve dinner. This is a listing. What are you doing cooking dinner in your listing? That's not appropriate.

[A]

Well, they just do it outside, though. Hey, we'll sell your plate. You don't mind if we test drive this grill, do you? No, go ahead. Of course.

[B]

Some dishes in the sink. Am I cleaning those?

[A]

Feel free to leave me a leg or something. Oh, will do, Macy. Will do. All right. Are they still working at the barn?

[B]

So. Yeah, I was also like, did they. Did they transport these horses with like a horse carrier? Like, how did the horses get here? Are they using the properties? Horses?

[A]

I had them in the back of your car. Well, you have a horse trailer thing. Yeah, they probably just have a double horse trailer on both. Both trucks and then they pull, you know, two trucks. They probably bought. Brought their two trucks.

[B]

Is that hard, Is that hard to load up a horse trailer? Is it like a thing that's gonna be like an all day affair or it's just like, oh, you just pull it up and open up and just guide them in. It's easy.

[A]

You back up into it and then you just attach it onto the. The rig on the bottom of your truck.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

People have it all figured out.

[B]

Yeah, well, because, you know, like, there's so many parents that have, like, babies and the amount of time it takes to stuff all the bags and all the things and all the items.

[A]

No babies are awful.

[B]

It takes like two hours.

[A]

No babies are awful. They grow up awful. We're useless. You know, that's like in the whole. And I'm not even getting political, so don't worry, everybody. But like the whole abortion fight, I'm like, babies can't take care of themselves. Like, you have to really want a baby and, like, be there for. Look at horses. Horses. You can drop a horse and they'll pretty much figure it out. Just start walking around. They know how to get In a car, you're just like, get in the truck. And they're like, okay, all right, I'm getting some hey. Right? Hey. Hey. Don't say Nate. Hey, I'm gonna run for Nair. And my slogan's gonna be, don't say they to hey.

[B]

We are pushing a pro.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Platform. So, yeah, I was just curious. I was like, is it. Is it a hassle?

[A]

Pro toys. Unless you're a horse, because they can walk.

[B]

Oddly enough, I'm a Republican, which is really awkward because people think I'm a Democrat, you know, some horse. It's really awkward when people say, so you're an elephant Horse. Yeah, Donkey. But people see donkey. People see horse, they just. They can't separate it.

[A]

You're such a Yankee. Oh, my God.

[B]

It's a very different.

[A]

Yankees have horses.

[B]

You guys have horses.

[A]

I've seen Revolutionary War.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we got horses. We got horses. But these are like, the. The farms around here are like Martha Stewart farms. They're not real real.

[A]

They're just like, yeah, they're fancy farms.

[B]

$40 million.

[A]

Yeah, they grow cattle, but they just turn into cheese.

[B]

Anyway. Wait, why am I a Yankee? You just said, I mean, I am a Yankee, but why am I a Yankee? Because I don't know. Don't know that a donkey. That a horse.

[A]

You don't know anything about. You. You don't know the difference between a horse and a donkey.

[B]

I know the difference. I know the difference between a horse and a donkey. I was just making a joke about. Because horses look like donkeys.

[A]

So anyway, I'm just giving you. I'm not really calling you. I love you.

[B]

I mean, I am a Yankee.

[A]

I love you in your Yankee way.

[B]

I am a Yankee, but I just. I. You know, you know the difference between a donkey and a horse, so.

[A]

I know you do, babe. I'm just. I'm just teasing with you because I'm from the south and you're from the North. I know. I feel like.

[B]

I feel like this. I feel like this episode is, like, activating our regional specialties.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's activating stuff that we don't even know that we have. Like, it's activating regional issues. Like, what are you doing calling me Yankee? Sorry. If the shoe fits, wear it. It's probably a penny loafer. Goddamn Yank.

[B]

I was, like, just being the horse, saying, like, people always think I'm. I'm on the donkey party, and you're like, oh, you're such a Yankee. You don't know the difference between a horse. I was like, whoa.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

So anyway, we are now going, looking at the house and it's gorgeous. It's a big, gorgeous ranch house. And Roady's like, well, this barn looks a. Looks like it's in a different county because it's all the way over there. You gotta drive to get over to it. It's like, yeah, that's why you've got your horses.

[A]

Yeah, that he's not gonna drive. I don't blame him because, like, what if you've got an issue with a horse? What if the horse needs to talk or something? You're like, what if they're like, well, I need attention? You can't be like me, drive over to the barn.

[B]

You can't have 600 acres on your wish list and then be mad when things are far away. That's what I say.

[A]

But he just wants everything to be convenient. Except he wants the 600 acres also there. He's like, everything that I need. I want to be within hands reach. But then I just want 600 acres to separate me and the rest of the world, you know?

[B]

So Brooke is like, well, he ain't gotta walk that one. Gonna walk. Gonna walk that far. But I kind of like it. There's no flies up here. None of that manure, ru everything. So he does not like that. This barn is far away. But they go into the house and there's nice wooden beams. It's very like what I would imagine, like a. A fancy ranch house would be like. If I like. Did you. You didn't like it?

[A]

I do like it. Yes. I was giving that look because my text went off and I'm so unprofessional. I'm texting with a cleaning person.

[B]

I thought you didn't like the beams. You're like, yank.

[A]

I'm attacking you this whole episode. I'm like, you goddamn Yankee and rolling. What you're saying.

[B]

Typical. Yeah. Coming to Texas and thinking the beams are nice.

[A]

My text just went, you're a dork. Actually, these are. All of the houses are pretty nice in this one. You know, they are kind of your big box mansion, but they're pretty. They're well done. There's a lot of, like, woodwork and stuff. And yeah, the beams were really, really nice in this one because sometimes they're just really cheap looking, you know. But these had some pretty nice features. They better be for two point whatever million dollars. Geez.

[B]

Yeah, this one was just really, really nice. It just. It's like, if it was so Nice that I literally, when I was watching it, I was like, do I. Do I want to move to a ranch? I even told you like yesterday after watching it, I was like, ronnie, I. I never thought I would be interested in a ranch, but after seeing that episode, I was kind of interested. Like, just big, beautiful land.

[A]

I would love it.

[B]

The house was gorgeous. I love.

[A]

But you know, where I live in Texas, the ranches are not $2 million. I mean, they're 5 million. You know, they're not. You don't get just a ranch for 2 million bucks. You can get a. A nice big house that looks kind of like this, but not on hundreds of acres. That's cray cray.

[B]

I was like, could I be a gay?

[A]

There's so much that goes into it. There's no plumbing out there. There's nothing like that. You have to have your own, like, systems kind of set up on most of these places. You know, you have to have your own water system, your own well, your own, you know, all that good stuff.

[B]

Plus tornadoes.

[A]

It's not just there. Plus tornadoes. I guess. Yeah. I was like, I've seen a tornado. They're so neat.

[B]

I know. I've never seen one. And they terrify me.

[A]

They're so cool.

[B]

I just have recurring nightmares. Tornadoes, they went away. But like, for years I have dreams of like a tornado touching down.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, you know the meanest housewife out of all the housewives in the world is mother Nature.

[B]

That's right. Ain't that the truth?

[A]

To get you. Yeah, okay.

[B]

Anyway, sorry.

[A]

Okay, so here they are touring. They're looking at the house, blah, blah, blah. It's basically huge and gorgeous. What do you need to know? It's two story. And he's like, wait a minute, I don't want two stories roadie. We know, you lazy ass roady. The man of 600 acres doesn't even want to walk up some stairs. This man is really very lazy. I think that Brooke makes all the money with her 10 jobs.

[B]

He only wants. He will walk horizontally as far as possible, but one staircase. And then he also has another demand. They walk into this nice ass home and the owners have a request which is that people take their boots off before they walk in. And roadie's like, I don't take my boots off. I don't take my boots off at my house. And I'm never gonna take. It's like, yeah, we see that. You don't take your boots off at your house because your house is a. Is. Is a Trash bin. Okay, but you're in a much nicer house. Take your boots off.

[A]

Yeah, your boots probably want to be taken off in your house because they're actually cleaner than your house. And also, this is not just normal. Like, hey, hey, guys, could you take off your shoes? When you come in, you're like, oh, my God, you fucking snob. Like, I'm not a pig. He's a cowboy. He's like, literally walking in shit all day and he still won't take his shoes off. That's really bad, Brody. And he's such a baby about it. He's like, I'm just gonna wait out here. You can just go look at the house. Me, I ain't even coming in there. I gotta take off my boobs. And then he goes outside. Brooke has to go outside and tell him, get your ass in here, baby.

[B]

Brooke can do so much better. Honestly, she. I feel like she should be like James Marston or something like that. Not roadie having a tantrum and storming out of the house.

[A]

Okay, but I don't know, she found one of the. One of the princes of Canyon County. I don't know that Brooke could do better. I mean, I know that she could anywhere else, but sometimes you just got to work with the population you're given. You know what I mean? God knows what Brooke has been working with. She's being hit on at the horse. The horse show or the horse market, you know, God knows what she's seen over there in Clover, Texas, you know?

[B]

Yeah, it's just a whole bunch of Bow Bridges, probably. And she's like, you know what? At this point, my bar is so lowered, I'm just gonna take roadie.

[A]

It's a Bow Bridges. If there's one bumper sticker on her suv, it probably says, what does it say? Settling. It ain't just for Pilgrims.

[B]

So they get. This place is great. So. And. And roady's like, it feels real lot in here. And Brooke is like, I mean, that's one thing.

[A]

I'll bet the floors aren't saying that. Sorry, what?

[B]

So Brook, Brooke is like, well, that's one thing. I bet that hard headed horse isn't saying that either. So Brooke is like, nay, Nay. Don't say nay for hey. It's like, wait, don't say neighborhood. That's a confusing political slogan because it's a double negative. Why don't we just. Why don't we just have it say yay to hey? No, it's got to say, we need to have nay in it because I'm a horse. But we want to say yay to hey. So we say don't say nay to hey. Don't you? Why don't you follow my logic? He really is a hard headed horse. Running a failing campaign as Nair.

[A]

The mayor. Mayor of Canyon. All right, here's what. Here's what I want in my campaign. Sugar cubes for everybody. Like, well, how are we going to pay for the sugar cubes? You don't pay for sugar cubes. They give them to you when they want you to do.

[B]

This is why we can't trust the Democrats. I'm a republican. But you're a horse. But not a donkey. I look more like an elephant if you really think about it. I don't think so.

[A]

But his black roadie, he ain't running anything.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I'm so mean to roadie. Ever since he threw this temper tantrum. So she yelled at him and makes him come back in there. And they have. This is actually fairly pretty. I mean, it's funny the things they start picking apart because the beams are nice. The vaulted ceilings are very Texas. It's huge. The rock fireplace. And it's not fake. I mean, these are these huge stone. It's really cool. Yeah. And then the kitchen is all white, which is actually very rare in Texas. Like, normally you see very, like darkish kind of wood and stuff. And so it's pretty cool. And there's stainless steel appliances. I mean, it's really nice. And Brooke's like, I don't like white cabinets, Brooke.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

You know what? Just. You're with roadie. You. You don't get a say in taste. Okay, you're gonna take these gorgeous cabinets. How about you're gonna like them?

[B]

Take some dirt from the 600 acres and smear it on the wood and the. And you can call it stained. How about that? And then they go outside and she's like, look at that Perula. The way she said pergula.

[A]

Pergola.

[B]

The way she said pergola. Perula. I was cracking up. And. And then they're looking around for some reason. I also was surprised that she knew. This may sound totally obnoxious. I was surprised that she knew what a pergola was. I just didn't. I just wouldn't think she would. She would care. The reason why is it's like, oh, I just call that an overhang. I think that I would expect her to say that and not to know. Like. But of course she knows because Brooke is like smart and worldly and that was for me. That was for me to learn. I had to come to Brooke. Did not have to come to me. And so when she said pergola, didn't.

[A]

The south invent Pergola?

[B]

I don't know, but I'm sure there's someone in the wind. I'm sure Macy's mom is named Pergola. Pergola Hypergola. Have you seen your daughter? Your daughter broke her leg. You have to pick up Pergola. You gotta pick up Macy.

[A]

Which Macy is it? Don't ask. Just go down to St. Macy's and ask for Macy. Well, that shouldn't be confusing at all, should it?

[B]

Okay, Pergola Benson's coming over. She's gonna pick up Macy. Why don't you just call so you.

[A]

Get back in time to watch Nancy Macy with me? Oh, God.

[B]

Can you just call an ambulance? Now, Pergola, you and I both know you'll get here faster than the ambulance.

[A]

Okay, so now they're talking about how white cabinets are super trendy. And the lady's like, they are so on trend. And Brook's like, well, you know, I just want everything to be open. I want to be able to see the people in our living room.

[B]

Yeah. And then they're looking at another. They're looking another thing, and. And it's our trophy room. Like, here's a room where you can put all your trophies in. I guess roadie won't be in here because he's not anyone's trophy. Am I right? Am I right? Oh, Brooke, you don't seem to like that joke too much, do you?

[A]

They call them loafies. Might be roadie. And he's like, oh, I don't like the barn over at the neighbor's place, because. Oh, yeah, now. Well, I do. And he goes, well, maybe then I like the white kitchens. Like, wow, you two are really ready to.

[B]

Yeah. That was so nice.

[A]

Forever, it looks like.

[B]

Yeah. Leveraging the. So barn for the kitchen. I don't like that.

[A]

It's basically big and gorgeous. I mean, what can I tell you? They do have a laundry chute, which I loved. We had that when I was younger, where you. There's a hole in the bathroom cabinet, and you. You throw your clothes down it, and then they go down to the next. Next level below you. It was just so fancy. And of course, we would always crawl into it and get stuck in there. My dad would have to come.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Pull my fat ass out of there. That's a problem. Grab me by my Web toes and just start pulling.

[B]

Even he was like, oh, I'm dying. Yeah. Yeah. They talk about having. With all this stuff about the laundry shoot. They talk about how there's space to have a family, and that way they can have a whole bunch of little ropers, which I then imagined like a little girl with big curly hair wearing a caftan, going, stanley, Stanley.

[A]

I think that the neighbors are having sex. Oh, Stanley. It was just a noise while they were using a blender.

[B]

Well, we made a wish to a monkey paw and said, we just want to have two little ropers. You really got to be careful what you wish for. It's true, because now we have two children. They're just very nosy.

[A]

They just keep.

[B]

They just keep checking in on us.

[A]

So Rhodey's like, this house is bigger than we need. The barn. It's long ways from the house, and I don't like that. And you're definitely gonna have to drive down there. And she's like, well, I love it. It's amazing. Can we afford it? Probably not. So the next place JT and Jamie have found is a lot cheaper. But it turns out local boy Rhodey. Hold on. Did I have enough venom in that tone? Let me say it again. Local boy Rhodey. Okay, you're really overselling it there, Linda. We get it. Okay, well, he's got a little baggage with the property that Brook's not happy about. Oh, no.

[B]

I was like, what? What is going on in this episode? There's baggage with a property.

[A]

What?

[B]

It's wild.

[A]

Brody's like, okay, I admit it. I. This house. I've stuck my penis into the chimney of this house.

[B]

I was like, who did he kill? Like, well, now is when we learn about Macy's origin story. Okay, well, here's the truth. Pergola Benson and I, we did have a fling once. It was quick. It's over. There's nothing between us anymore. But Macy is my daughter. She lives at this house.

[A]

Percula. Percula. So roping champion Brooke is hoping to buy a bigger home in Canyon with her boyfriend Rhodey, where they can raise a future family, God willing, better have babysitters. So now it's two stories. Roadie does not like that. Yes, they do love the gigantic wood door, which is very pretty. And again, it's exposed to beams. It's stone. It's kind of similar. I didn't find out, actually. I.

[B]

There was something about the shape. The house looked really nice on the outside, but I felt like it looked. It didn't look nice. To me on the inside, it was not. It was not my jam. That's all I'll say about that. I didn't like it.

[A]

Well, I would love to join in, but let me just tell you the truth about it. And I literally just watched this last night. I don't remember what it looked like. They all kind of look the same to me. They're gigantic homes. I just don't. I'm lost. And I just keep thinking, like, what if you can't find a cleaning lady? Like, what do you do? Or a cleaning person that looks like hell.

[B]

This one. This house, I don't remember much about it, but this was more like. There was just something about it that did not seem. I seem to remember being kind of gaudy. I didn't like the layout. I don't. I remember enough to know that I disliked these elements about it, even if I can't picture it in my head. But I know I didn't like it. And then this is where roadie breaks the news. This is the storied past. It was like watching Dolores Claiborne. He's like, so I do know this property. I used to come down here and rope all the time whenever the people that had it before and like, oh, that's nice. You like the arena? Oh, yeah, I like the arena. And matter of fact, I took my engagement pictures down there. And he's, like, smiling, like, really proudly. And they're like, what? He's like, yeah, maybe we could find that tree where I took that picture with Pergola Benson. They're like, what? Pergola Benson? You were engaged to her.

[A]

Jamie's like, I didn't even know you was married before. He goes, I was. I was. And Brooks, like, I'm honestly pissed that we came to a house where. Where Rodney has such a history. Where roadie has such a history with this house. And I'm hesitant because of the baggage that comes with this place. I mean, that is crazy. He took pictures in the arena. Well, this is ridiculous. What is he, a pie sample at Costco? Does everybody get a piece?

[B]

So Jamie's like, well, it's totally understandable. She's. By the way, I don't know, between Jamie and jt, I don't know which one is the husband, which one's the.

[A]

Wife, But I think JT's the husband and Jamie's the wife.

[B]

I think, yeah, well, it's totally understandable. She's ready to be engaged, have some little Mr. And Mrs. Ropers find a home, settle down, and then he brings up his old wife, Pergola, and how he actually pictures with her. And by the way, we all know what pictures mean, okay? Because when you're around these parts, pictures. More than just pictures, if you know what I'm saying. How the hell do you think Macy got in here?

[A]

Too many blow jobs.

[B]

Pergola's been known to get around. Okay.

[A]

Pergula.

[B]

Percula.

[A]

So, JT goes well. Hi, Brooke. Look at the positive side. At least you know he's willing to take engagement pictures. Obviously, I'm not, because I can't get nothing done. Three years and still waiting. Oh, no, don't wait for roadie me. Brody's still gonna go cheat on you and be with that girl in about two weeks.

[B]

The second I'm telling you, follow up.

[A]

On these, because I know he cheated.

[B]

And I'm telling you right now, he's still married. I'm gonna say right now that's this is. He's not only married. Still married. It's not like the divorce papers haven't been signed. He. I think he's actively married with a family on the side. I'm telling you that right now.

[A]

Oh, he just seems so lazy. That's a lot to pull off.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So. Well, maybe that's why he doesn't want to go upstairs, because that's where the family is.

[A]

So can I tell you something just to say one positive thing about him or at least be on his side for a second? It is very difficult to take off boots when people tell you take off shoes. When you come into my home, that's one thing. Taking off boots, especially as a man, those are so difficult. Have you ever seen me try to put on boots? I stopped wearing them because I actually popped a vessel in my eye one time trying to put on boots.

[B]

I totally agree. I think it's hard enough taking high tops on and off, so. Boots are hard. However, if you give me booties, if you're a professional rancher, if you're a ranch person and you've been wearing boots day in, day out your entire life, you should at least have some hacks. You should be able to be able to take them on and off. Sorry.

[A]

That's true. I have zipper boots now. They're the gayest thing I've ever owned. Okay, so not yet. I'm getting close. So. So they look around there and it's pretty. They're like, well, look at the view. It's just a big flat. Nothing really, but it is pretty.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then they. Fishing the upstairs it is. Just to say it's huge really does. Doesn't describe it. It is enormous. I mean, they just keep walking through room after room. It's exhausting.

[B]

Yeah, they go. They go to the arena. They see the tack rooms. There's his and hers tack rooms. So, I mean, it's a lot. There's a lot on this property. And then they go fishing. They go to a. They take their horses to a fishing hole. They go fishing. So at this point, I was like, okay, they're fishing. They love this place. This is the one they're going to take. Because, you know, know, how could you.

[A]

Not look what they do. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The experience.

[A]

Now they're fishing. I mean, they're really taking them on a journey.

[B]

You know, Roie. Jamie goes. Roie actually said he's never caught a fish in his life. So I hope we catch something. Let me tell you something. If he was Perala Benson, I'm sure he caught something along the way, and it was probably a bit fishy.

[A]

So this place, the outdoor barn area, was actually used as an event center for a wedding. Like, they made. They had a big wedding here. And it says, like, I do or something. Like, the wedding decorations are still up.

[B]

The next one.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, the next one.

[A]

I'm sure that actually all this one, they're just like, probably. So this one is the one where they're like, oh, my God, you could have a wedding here. And he's like, oh, it's got a little door. I could run out the back. Yeah.

[B]

So basically, the house is. Honestly, it really fits all their needs. The only downside is that he took engagement photos there once, and Brooke is just not going to have it. That's like a. That's a hard stop for her.

[A]

Her. Yeah. So next up now, Brook's trying to get her boyfriend Roie to ditch his bachelor pad so they can buy a place. Blah, blah, blah. You notice the intro that they do after every commercial. They're like, here's the entire plot. So now they're going to see Kim, the seller. We get to meet the seller of.

[B]

A home, and it's actually Kim G. From Real Housewives of New Jersey. I was like, what a twist.

[A]

It does look like her. It really does look like her, doesn't it?

[B]

This is a scary ass lady. I love that we got to meet her two thirds of the way through the episode because this is basically a. It's a pocket listing. It's not on the market yet, but they are aware of it. So JT And JT and Jamie go in to meet with Kim to talk about selling the place. And Kim is like. They're like, well. So I talked to Gary, your husband, and we told him that the buyers are around 1.5 million. And he said. Said that they did. It's more like 1.8. And Kim's like, well, he would say that. That cheating idiot. But this is my pride and joy, and I would probably need a little bit more, maybe 2 million, because I've decorated this so beautifully. And I don't know. Ronnie, what did you think about the way Kim has done up this place? I thought it was a bit busy.

[A]

I thought it was pretty nice. It was very east coast ranch to me. It was like, very. Wasn't this another white cabinet house? It look, it was.

[B]

I just felt like there was stuff everywhere. It felt cluttered. I felt like there were lights hanging down and so many couches and so many chairs. And I was like. I just could see how Kim was so proud. And I. And. And I was just like, I'm not sure. I feel like we've had a few different, like, interior designers look for houses on House Hunters. And every time they show off their stuff, I'm always like, I'm not sure about this.

[A]

Yeah, none of these houses were really tacky, which, where I'm from, there's a lot of big, tacky houses, and I didn't feel like any of these were truly tacky. So I think, for the most part, I was pretty proud even of this one. But this lady is full of shit. She's like, this is my pride and joy. It's like, oh, wow, granite countertops. You're still getting 1.8.

[B]

Okay, exactly. So she's like. She's basically like, okay, well. Well, I just want. I to want. Want 2 million. Okay, I don't want 1.8 million. I put a lot of time into this. This is a Kim special. And they're like, okay. And we know that you made it look fabulous. Not Gary. That's right. Gary hasn't done one good thing for this house or this marriage in 20 years. So I want that extra $200,000.

[A]

Now, listen, talk to Gary. Make sure it's all right with you. Kimmy. Kim. Kim. But we're going to be cooking the mistake because she's wanting an entertainment space. So we're going to kind of do lots and hope that's okay with you. You. Kim's like, sure, you can entertain here. Of course you can, Kim, you're looking desperate. Okay, one Minute you're like, I'm not taking less than two. And then the next minute you're like, oh, God, please let them cook a steak so they'll take this house off of me. Come on, Kim.

[B]

Yeah. So they walk in, and then we go. We. Everything is huge. This house is big.

[A]

Everything so big. Like, it's mind boggling. Even talking about it. I'm like, oh, my gosh. God, it's so bedrooms. The chandeliers over the soaking tub. You know, it's like, it's huge. Rodney's like, I can sleep in the closet. This is as big as my house.

[B]

We don't talk about things being in the closet around here. So then the barn. They go into the barn, and it's massive, but it's definitely been used for events. This is where the thing that says I do is up. There's, like, stuff everywhere. There's, like, chairs and, like, it's. There was, like, clearly an event there, like, two nights ago ago, but it's massive. And then JT is like, and now look over there. There's some wedding bells. Little ropers coming soon. Am I right?

[A]

Baby rope. Mini ropers coming. And so it's a pocket list, and y'. All. And it could be 2 million. And Brook's like, well, I don't like 2 million. And Rhodey's like, well, hell, we could rent this out and just make our house payment right here. Look at this apartment. Because this little apartment' really huge. It's like another little house that they have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so then they go outside, and this is 16 area. 16 acres. Sorry. And there's no barn or arena yet. But you know what? You can always spend more money and get a barn and arena and even put lights in it.

[B]

There you go. The lights are a big deal for them, apparently, because that's, like, one of the selling points. They're like, this house has lots. The first one at least. So they.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Roie is not a fan that it's small because only 16 acres. The house is amazing, but no arena. So now they. That. But they all sit down. This is when they eat their steaks at a listing. I guess they did get permission. I guess I missed that the first time around. But I was like, why are they eating steaks?

[A]

Kimmy's just. You just see Kim's face at the window. Like, thanks for the invite, Mother trucker.

[B]

Please don't spill barbecue sauce on the flagstones. Thank you. Just got those imported. So now. So now it comes down to which house is Going to make both of them want to leave the bachelor pad behind. So they're choosing between the places. You know, house number one is big. It's too expensive, but has everything they need, including an arena and lights. House number two is also really great, but photo shoot. Hello. And house number three does not have the arena and is also a little bit out of their budget.

[A]

It. Yeah. So where you going to have a baby? Where you going to have a baby? So what do they pick? Let's find out.

[B]

House number one. They chose house number one, which I did not think they were going to take. I thought it was going to be out of their budget.

[A]

And so either.

[B]

I really thought it was going to be house number two Because I thought that the photo shoot thing was sort of like. Like the sort of. It felt like a fake reason why not to buy it. But house number one, I definitely did not expect. And I was actually quite delighted that they chose it. I thought that was the best of the bunch.

[A]

Yeah. And they actually paid 2.2 for it. They paid the full price, but they did get the furniture and a herd of Angus cows. Pretty good deal to me.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know how much a herd of cows cost, but it's got to be a lot, right?

[A]

A lot. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a pretty good. That's a pretty good buy in. And you know, my friend Nora. I talk about my friend Nora and Cindy. They were ranchers for a long time. They had cattle. Wow. They're cattle people. That's a lot. An Angus cow. So then they basically. You know, he loves it because it's got the anchorage. And she's like, we had to make some compromises mostly. The way Rhodey chooses to live. Sleeps in his boots. That's a little rough.

[B]

And he did. This was funny. He's like, well, this is the fancy house. Well, now that I own the fancy house, we do take our boots off. He's like, yes, I'm. I've come to realize. I've come to realize the value in that.

[A]

I was like, just get your slip ons. Yeah. But they do have to drive to the barn on this one, which they don't like. But Brooks, like, I like it because you could just leave the cows at home. You know what I mean? You can do your roadie at home, your cows in the field. Field just like it should be. And then he's like, well, I guess that's what we're doing. I wasn't wanting to leave the bachelor pad. It took a lot of convincing me to get me to leave. But now we bought this place. It's probably the best thing I ever done. And she's like, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. Now impregnate me. He's like, oh, say.

[B]

I won't say nay to. Hey, everyone, the horse comes in. One final. One final pitch.

[A]

Hey, guys, I'm sorry I can't be your horse anymore. I just got my. I just became mayor. Okay, but I'm sorry your taxes have been raised for more sugar cubes for the.

[B]

Unfortunately, sugar cubes don't pay for themselves. But we're going to raise tariffs on sugar cubes from a different ranch.

[A]

Anything coming from Amarillo is getting a 25 terrorists.

[B]

You realize that you pay the tariffs.

[A]

Not.

[B]

Not Pergola Benson.

[A]

What?

[B]

No, the tariff's on pergola. No, but you pay the tariff. What?

[A]

All right, everybody, thank you so much for being with us. We will be back in a couple weeks with our final 12 hello of the season, believe it or not. And that should be some good times, everybody. We sure love you very much. We'll talk to you next time.