Dwell Hello #502: Hunters International: S111 E4: Fairy Tale in Nuremberg

Summary

Watch What Crappens – "Dwell Hello" #502: Hunters International: S111 E4: Fairy Tale in Nuremberg

Date: January 17, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

In this spirited and hilarious episode, Ben and Ronnie recap and mock House Hunters International Season 111 Episode 4, "Fairy Tale in Nuremberg." They follow Amanda, a Nashville transplant looking for a dream apartment (and escape from "bad music and babies") in Nuremberg, Germany. The hosts riff extensively on the show's characters—Amanda, her budget-obsessed best friend Becky Lynn, and the stoically German realtor Claudia—while delivering quick-witted observations, running gags, and their trademark affectionate shade.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nashville Vibes and Amanda's Escape (01:37 – 09:00)

• The hosts riff on Nashville’s music scene, describing bachelorette parties and the endless supply of "mediocre guitar guys" at social gatherings.

• Ben and Ronnie both express sympathy for Amanda's desire to flee:

  • Ronnie (02:15): "Every time you go to a goddamn party, there's a guy with a fucking Gu. Singing. And I don't blame her for wanting to move… Get out. Can I eat my mini wings?"

• Amanda is introduced as ready for a "career opportunity of a lifetime" in Nuremberg, but the hosts interpret her escape as mostly about leaving behind "guitar guys and babies."

  • Ben (08:02): "She's, like, hugging a little boy, and he's like, 'I'm gonna miss you...My mom says the town bicycle is leaving now.' Who is your mom? Because I'm about to beat her up."

2. Meet Becky Lynn: The Budget Hawk (14:17 – 15:56)

• Amanda's best friend Becky Lynn is flying in to offer "level-headed support"—i.e., nagging about money.

• Ronnie and Ben joke that Becky Lynn embodies practicality but also constant negativity.

  • Ronnie (15:10): "The real estate market goes up and down. Becky Lynn's love life always down. Always."

• Becky Lynn's affection for thrift stores and "better cheddars" competitions sets the tone for jokes about her frugality and dating life.

  • Ben (14:36): "They are having a contest to see who could eat the most better cheddars in one minute and I won. So they gave me this T shirt."

3. Enter Claudia, The German Realtor (12:18 – 13:42)

• Claudia is characterized with intense imagery—her “rage smile” and strict air, with Ben noting her "periwinkle blazer" and "murderous energy."
• Both hosts are fixated on the "crazy lipstick" choices of all the women, repeatedly referencing them throughout the episode.

4. The Apartment Hunt

House #1 – The Budget Option (17:54 – 22:55)

• Located in St. Sebald, the historical part of town; described as "cute but tiny and walk-heavy."
• Amanda loves the balcony, but the bathtub is miniscule; Becky Lynn tries to rationalize, but Amanda is clearly dissatisfied.
• Host running gag: “balconies for coffee or, as Amanda says, ‘flowers.’”

House #2 – Slightly Over Budget, Central Location (25:05 – 28:33)

• Located near the social center, "across the street from a place that sells french fries."
• Spacious and bright but lacks a bathtub.
  • Ronnie (26:41): "It's like an airplane sink. Are we on an airplane? Because as far as I can tell, we've got the sink right here and the stewardess right there."
• Becky Lynn is (unsurprisingly) "a fan" due to proximity to Amanda's budget.

House #3 – The Dream, But Pricey (31:17 – 34:55)

• $1,400/month—$400 over budget, but with a big living room, bathtub, balcony, and a river/castle view.
• Amanda loves it; Becky Lynn is aghast about budget concerns.
  • Ronnie (34:13): "What’s she gonna do, like, have an only lipstick account? I made my $400 by guys jerking off to all my crazy lipsticks."
• Ronnie and Ben mock the idea that Amanda's going to miss trips home, suggesting the higher rent is just an excuse to avoid her old life.
  • Ben (33:02): "She's purposely asking for a more expensive place so she has an excuse to not come home and see your ass."

5. Decisions & Debates at the Pub (36:25 – 41:49)

• Amanda and Becky Lynn weigh the options over drinks.
• Ultimately, Amanda chooses the luxurious—but expensive—apartment, saying comfort and a "fairy tale" living experience come first.
• Hosts applaud the decision to "go over budget" and joke about how Amanda will "make up the money" (lipstick Etsy, drinks from men, etc).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On fleeing Nashville:
  Ben (03:07): "So awful. You know, the worst. The worst music that you hear in Nashville is this song. Because there’s always a bachelorette party going by on one of those pedaling bars."

• Meeting Claudia:
  Ben (12:52): "She has mastered the rage smile. Because she smiles the entire episode, but she has rage in those eyes."

• Budget banter:
  Ronnie (17:20): "$1,000 for all the things that you want? Oh, gosh, you are hilarious. It's really hard job that you give me now. So hard."

• On European apartment size:
  Ben (20:07): "So until you are actually living in the real world and willing to spend more than $1,000 on your apartment here in Nuremberg, you're not going to get a large living room, you stupid idiot."

• Summary of Becky Lynn’s role:
  Ronnie (15:10): "The real estate market goes up and down. Becky Lynn's love life always down. Always."

• Final apartment selection:
  Ben (40:42): "She decides to go for the big one, the one that's over her budget, which made me happy, because I love when people go over their budget on this show."

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:37 – 04:44: Nashville openings, bachelorette critiques, Amanda's motivation
• 10:34 – 11:32: Concerns about cobblestones, fears of social life
• 12:18 – 13:42: Introduction and dissection of Claudia the realtor
• 15:17 – 17:55: Meeting Becky Lynn, market is tight, unrealistic budget
• 17:54 – 22:55: Tour and mockery of House #1
• 25:05 – 28:33: House #2’s central location and "airplane sink"
• 31:17 – 34:55: House #3, price shock, Becky Lynn's anxiety
• 36:25 – 41:49: Decision at the pub, Amanda chooses luxury
• 41:49 – 42:28: Final montage, Amanda's “beige couch” décor and German living

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Episode Tone & Style

Staying true to their brand, Ben and Ronnie maintain a playful, irreverent tone throughout, continuously roasting Amanda, Becky Lynn, and Claudia while inserting recurring jokes about bad lipstick, the ubiquity of guitars in Nashville, and the impracticality of Amanda’s expectations. The humor is broad and biting, yet rooted in affection for the genre and its personalities.

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Quick Recap

Amanda wants out of Nashville’s guitar-and-baby scene for a career move in fairy-tale Nuremberg. Becky Lynn clings to the budget like a life raft. Claudia tries to hide her rage behind a smile. After touring small tubs and airplane sinks, Amanda chooses to ignore Becky Lynn’s warnings and pick the dreamy over-budget apartment, making peace with seeing less of her family if it means more German balconies and fewer parties with guitar guys.

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For fans of House Hunters and Bravo snark, this episode delivers a funny, vivid play-by-play while keeping the heart (and satire) at the center of the Crappens brand.

Transcript

[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to Dwell. Hello. This is a podcast about old things. House Hunters. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello, Ben.

[Ben]

Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

[Ronnie]

Good. Welcome to the show, everybody. Today's episode is House Hunters international. It's season 111, episode four, fairy tale in Nuremberg. And if you want to watch the episode, we went to Max to watch it and we just searched Fairy Tale in Nuremberg in the search section and boom, it popped right up. What do you think of that?

[Ben]

It's amazing. Amazing what technology can do for you these days.

[Ronnie]

Sure is. Now we're in Nashville, Tennessee. The one thing that strikes me about Nashville is it's similar to Austin in the way that it's like, musicy, it's more musicy now. I think Austin so still has a lot of live music. I live in Austin and there's still a lot of live music and stuff. It's not as like, I don't know, keep Austin weird as it used to be because a bunch of tech bros moved in. But Nashville is still real, like the city rock and roll. And the only reason I say that is because it's one of those places that sounds great because there's music everywhere. It's not great music everywhere, okay? There's a lot of mediocre music everywhere too. There's a lot of great music, but there's also a lot of not great music. And every time you go to a goddamn party, there's a guy with a fucking Gu. Singing. And I don't blame her for wanting to move because we open with this first scene and there's a guy sitting there playing guitar and singing at her party. Get out. Just. Can I eat my. Can I eat my mini wings?

[Ben]

So awful. You know, the worst. The worst music that you hear in Nashville is this song. Because there's always a bachelorette party going by on one of those pedaling bars, girls all in pink being like, oh.

[Ronnie]

My God, it's Amanda's bachelorette. I'd like to dedicate this song to Amanda's bachelorette, Brandy. She's a fine girl. Wait a minute. It's Amanda's bachelorette. Where are you playing, Brandy? Shut up.

[Ben]

That Brandy is always trying to upstage Amanda.

[Ronnie]

She would be.

[Ben]

One of my least favorite things is when people bust out a guitar at a party or like. Or people decide, let's get on some instruments and start singing songs. Well, if I'm drunk enough, fine. If it's a Christmas party, that's fine. Because people can sing carols. But like the busting out a guitar and be like, it's like, I don't want to hear it. If I wanted to hear guitar music, I would go to a coffee shop or a concert. But if I'm sitting here trying to talk about the real house, I was with my friend and now I've got to stop because it's rude to ignore Keith who got onto his guitar. I'm not going to be happy about it.

[Ronnie]

Well, that's what's happening now. And it looks kind of like a cult because the guy's on a guitar and it's just a bunch of people with babies everywhere, swinging babies around and bouncing babies to the music. The baby's like, she's a fan. It's Amanda's wedding, you baby.

[Ben]

Well, speaking of Amanda, Linda has this to say. Amanda's leaving her close knit community in Nashville, Tennessee, when by close knit, I mean losers playing guitars for the career opportunity of a lifetime in Nuremberg, Germany.

[Ronnie]

Let me see Amanda talking to a guy at the barbecue. And she's like, yeah, Nuremberg. It's over 5, 000 miles away. And he goes, yeah, that's a lot of airline drinks, Toots. Is your father printing?

[Ben]

No, the printer is just, you know, I know it's not funny. The printer just did that thing where it's like.

[Ronnie]

Rolling over in bed.

[Ben]

Oh, you know, I just saw the printer like a screen flash. I was like, what's happening? And now the printer's like, don't mind me. I Thought someone was gonna be playing guitar.

[Ronnie]

The little printer dog gets up and runs out of the bed, and the printer's like, it's not time to eat yet. I was just stretching.

[Ben]

You sound like you speak from experience.

[Ronnie]

Every morning I can't. If I wake up, I'm like, don't move. The dog's gonna jump out of the bag and start. Start begging for food, jump out of the bed and start running around in circles begging for food. Don't move.

[Ben]

Yeah, this printer is. Oh, it's downloading an update. It's a firmware update. That's why it's getting excited. Well, anyway. On the hunt for her new home, she's got lofty expectations. Not for her hair, of course. She's just doing that platinum thing. God, poor Amanda.

[Ronnie]

Bless her heart, she's her best friend. Becky Lynn, because what else would she be named, knows that that's wishful thinking. And Becky Lynn knows the thing about wishful thinking. She's been trying to get into Ghidorah Kai's pants for about six months now, and he's not biting.

[Ben]

He always seems to ignore her when she gets drunk and throws a dollar at him and says, play the Macarena. He doesn't like that.

[Ronnie]

This ain't a Macarena town, honey.

[Ben]

Damn it.

[Ronnie]

Becky Lynn's like, damn it. So then the guitar band is still singing, and Amanda's like, look at me holding a baby. Surely I can do this in Germany. I wouldn't. So it's not the same place. They'll be like, get your hands off my baby. Oh, my God. Don't get hit on the. On the head with the side of. Don't get hit on the side of the head with the pan from Germany. These things are. That arm.

[Ben]

Now was the time that we play guitar, and I was like, man, you're just organizing your drawers. That's right. Guitar is slang in German for organizing.

[Ronnie]

Play in Germany means work.

[Ben]

Play is our little joke because we don't play. We only work. Time to work.

[Ronnie]

Well, Amanda loves spending time with family and friends in Nashville, Tennessee. I mean, not enough she's moving 5,000 miles away. I think here's. Here's what I want from the show. Truth. I want Amanda to just be crying and being like, I don't want a baby. And I'm surrounded by these little fuckers. Every single friend that I've ever had is covered in snot and baby spew. I want out. Get me out of here. But instead, they're like, she really just cares about family. That's all she cares about.

[Ben]

And she's, like, hugging a little boy, and he's like, I'm gonna miss you. My mom says the town bicycle is leaving now. Who is your mom? Because I'm about to beat her up.

[Ronnie]

I just want to say thank you to our note taker, Shelby, because this cracks me up, because we see a little boy in glasses and transition lenses saying he's going to miss her.

[Ben]

That detail is hilarious.

[Ronnie]

We see a little boy in glasses and transition lenses. So Amanda's like, yep, here in Nashville, we spend a lot of time outside just enjoying grilling out. And it always ends with people getting their guitars out here. Nashville, doesn't it? So I was just looking to move away from guitars and babies, but going to Newenberg in my new role. It's a huge career opportunity. Huge. First I worked at an office, and now I'm going to work at an office. Just get me the fuck out of here. I'll take $5 an hour.

[Ben]

Amanda, welcome to your new role. Your role is you have to put out a guitar and sing from us. Damn it. I thought I was getting away from that. So she's like, I'm going to be in charge of global product marketing. It's some unknown firm. And we see, look, the printer. The printer is now doing the thing. Like, guys, my firmware is installed. Just want everyone to know, firmware is installed now.

[Ronnie]

Before I got to the company, printers were just silent. You had to. You had to choose when to do an update. But now printers tell you you're there, and so you're always think about HP got me to Nuremberg. Got me to Nuremberg.

[Ben]

This printer is going nuts over here. Can you hear it? The printer's like, do not make fun of me. I am German. I hear you making fun of my heritage. So I have a jet.

[Ronnie]

How dare you?

[Ben]

It is updating engine. Engine firmware. Oh, this is a big firmware update. It's getting all its parts lubed up in on the inside. So I'm going to be in charge of global product marketing, AKA Far Away from guitars. And then we see Amanda, and she's just with some women, and they're sitting on a couch and they're just playing with her hair. And she's like, so, Amanda, tell us about Nuremberg. What's the town like? Can you tell us where is Nuremberg? Is that just, like outside of Knoxville? Where is it? And she's like, well, I just ready have to walk everywhere. But I'm not sure about all those.

[Ronnie]

Cobblestone it's like, I don't know if these. These high heels are going to work on Cobblestone. And then we see her cheap pink heels, and it's kind of sad, but everybody laughs. I was like, wow, I thought that was a sadder moment. I just become too cynical. So one of them's like, is there anything you're, like, nervous about? Cobblestone. She just told you. No wonder she's leaving this town.

[Ben]

I know. She's like, well, I'm worried that it's going to be hard to meet people given that I'm American and everyone else around me is German.

[Ronnie]

Well, I'm a pretty social person, and I don't know anybody there, so I will absolutely miss my friends and my family a lot. Please stop getting your goddamn fingerprints on my hair, okay? You just ain't going to feed it with your hands. Get them out of my hair, bitch. Okay. I have to really figure out how often I can go home because I really want to see these people more. And who wouldn't? I mean, I have little human meat finger combs in my hair all day long, you know?

[Ben]

It's gonna be real hard being in Germany and being away from Keith when he plays his acoustic version of Torn by Natalie imbruglia for the 45th time at a party.

[Ronnie]

Did you hear me?

[Ben]

No, because the.

[Ronnie]

Okay, good. I have a mute button now. I was screaming at BE like I was not getting attention because he. I got up, so he thinks it's food time. You see what I. What I'm telling you, let's speak from experience. And so now he's scratching the couch in revenge.

[Ben]

Both of our children are really acting up right now. Seriously, this printer, I don't know if it's like it's out of control.

[Ronnie]

It really is. I hear it over there. I hear. It's like, I'm a man now, mama. I'm a man.

[Ben]

It says, it's complete. We'll see. Okay, Ronnie's yelling at Bueller again.

[Ronnie]

He won't stop it. Like, he thinks he's gonna. I'm starving him to death, so he's gonna eat the couch. I mean, I don't know dogs. So then we meet the Claudia. We meet the realtor, real estate agent Claudia Pinkert. Nuremberg is a really amazing place. It's the second largest city in Bavaria. It's very charming, with cobblestone streets, sandstone castle. And the people love spending their free time outside, sitting in blest stones and pubs. Look at it now. You know why they hired her, right?

[Ben]

Because lipstick.

[Ronnie]

No. What were your answers gonna be?

[Ben]

I was gonna say because she has mastered the rage smile. Because she smiles the entire episode, but she has rage in those eyes.

[Ronnie]

She also rage ponytail, don't you think? Yeah.

[Ben]

And she has like this. She has like a kind of a periwinkle blazer, but then also like a scarfy thing. And she's sort of looks like a realtor, but also like a flight attendant. And she just looks like she has no patience for this entire exercise.

[Ronnie]

I feel like she's murdered a child. There's something about. There's something about Claudia that's like, you're scaring me. But she's very not like, she's lovely, but I just. I just feel like she's gonna get mad and some. A child's gonna die.

[Ben]

There'll be. There'll be a quote unquote accident. Hey, Amanda, come down to the cobblestone street in your highest heaters. It will be totally safe. And then all of a sudden, Amanda's like splat out on the. On the cobblestone. Like blood coming out of her head because she tripped.

[Ronnie]

No. But here's why I think that they hired Claudia and felt like she would be a perfect fit because lipstick. All the ladies today are so obsessed with some weird, really bright lipstick. And they put it on in like 10 layers and it's all I can see in the whole episode. I'm like, wow, they found three ladies who just love crazy lipstick. What can I say? You're really into it.

[Ben]

Amanda may be fantasizing about her future in Nuremberg, but she's flying in her best friend who's no one's fantasy. And she's there for some level headed support.

[Ronnie]

Enter Becky Lynn. Oh, I've known Amanda for about 10 years. Left to her own devices, she'd go completely overboard and blow her budget. And right by her side. I know I can get her to stop. Look at this shirt. This cost me about $3 at the. You know, it was the. It wasn't the dollar store. It was the five dollar store. So I still got a bargain.

[Ben]

You five dollar store I got at the Harris Teeter. I'm not gonna lie. They are having a. They were having a contest to see who could eat the most better cheddars in one minute and I won. So they gave me this T shirt.

[Ronnie]

N pug is very attractive for unattractive people from all over the world. Don't ask me why. Homely people love to live in gorgeous places. So here we are. Wait a minute. Shut Up, Becky Lynn. No one's talking to you.

[Ben]

And unlike Becky Lynn's dating life, the rental market is very hot at the moment. So we.

[Ronnie]

The real estate market goes up and down. Becky Lynn's love life always down. Always.

[Ben]

Becky Lynn love life is like the divot between cobblestones. So we see Amanda and Becky Lynn or meet Claudia. They meet Claudia in the streets of Nuremberg. And Claudia's like, so we don't have much apartments that we would need for all the clients. So what are you looking for? Because we only have, like, three good places, and we don't usually like to give them to stupid Americans.

[Ronnie]

Well, one bedroom's fine, but I really love to take a bath, so I just like a nice bathtub, preferably filled with lipstick. And I'd be. I love a nice big balcony. That would be great. And a big living space. Huge. Because I love to have parties and have people over.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Do you have guitarists here? Only harpsichord.

[Ben]

Good, good.

[Ronnie]

Thank God. Well, get a harpsichord stand in.

[Ben]

We have no guitar, but we do have accordion and tuba. So Becky Lynn's like, okay, well, she needs to have space for parties, because that's very important. She loves throwing parties because she's immature that Amanda. She hasn't grown up yet. And Amanda's like, yeah, I just want to be in the middle of things. I'm really social, and I love having lots of people around.

[Ronnie]

And Claudia's like, that means you are looking for an apartment in city center. Okay, so here are all the nightclubs, the bars, the restaurants, the gorgeous people. Okay, you will not be let into these places. But you can bring a sandwich and eat outside and look through the window and see how the other 75% of us live.

[Ben]

What do you call sandwiches in America? Jersey Micases. I don't know. So she's like, so. So Amanda, of course, has this big list of everything she wants. City center, bathtub, balcony, blah, blah, blah, blah. And how much would you like to spend for this? She's like, I'd like to say around $1,000 a month. It's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. Well, another option is that you can just throw yourself into that river over there and then just float on down to some other city that will accept such ridiculous proposals.

[Ronnie]

$1,000 for all the things that you want. Oh, gosh, you are hilarious. It's really hard job that you give me now. So hard. It happens to me a lot. Clients, they come with champagne taste and have only what you call it, weenie budget. I don't know I'm just going off Becky looks. I'm just going off Becky look looks.

[Ben]

Yeah, you gave me a hard job. Harder job than finding a man for Becky Lynn. So she's like, yeah, I have to really show them what they're going to get for the what the what they're willing to pay for. Hold on. Spoiler alert. Here it is.

[Ronnie]

Nothing.

[Ben]

So Linda is like, well, Claudia knows Amanda might not like the quiet neighborhood of house number one, but sex for Amanda. Am I right, everyone? High five. High five.

[Ronnie]

But for $1,000 downtown, my hands are tight. So we see a cute neighborhood and stuff, and she tells us about it. She's like, Saint Sebald, which is the historical part of the town. Bald is also the only kind of man that Becky Lynn will get. I'm just warning you now I'm psychic.

[Ben]

This is the part of town that has Imperial Castle in the background where guitars are strictly forbidden. So I'm not sure Becky Lynn could be here.

[Ronnie]

It is also world famous. Never heard of it. Shut up, Becky Lynn.

[Ben]

It's beautiful.

[Ronnie]

But you know what? I don't see any cafes or shops nearby. Where's the Starbucks? Can I get a cake pop up in here?

[Ben]

Unfortunately, there were no Starbucks in 1235 A.D. so sorry, you have to go elsewhere, Becky Lynn.

[Ronnie]

Unfortunately, you just have to walk down the hill now and then Becky Lynn's like, wait a minute. Walking down a hill means having to walk back up a hill to get home. I barely walk from the parking lot to the Target. All right.

[Ben]

Yeah, but it seems like you have no problem walking to Marshalls. So Amanda is like, I don't know if I like those hills. I mean, hills are. Those hills are real. So we. It's a one bedroom with the bathtub. It has a little balcony facing the backyard and everything. It's small. This is a small, small house.

[Ronnie]

It's a tiny, tiny house. It's cute. I mean, it's fine, but it's also Europe. You know what I mean? I mean, it's fine, but the bathtub is teeny tiny. And Becky Lynn's like, I think she's trying to make the best of the situation, which I love about her, but this ain't where she had mind when she said she wanted to live in room. She wants a living room. Okay. She wants a bath. Come on. What are we doing here, Germany? Are you apologizing to us yet or not?

[Ben]

You know, there are living rooms that are much bigger, but the price of the monthly lease would be much higher. So until you are actually living in the real world and willing to spend more than $1,000 on your apartment here in Nuremberg. You're not going to get a large living room, you stupid idiot.

[Ronnie]

And Amanda's like, well, we have a balcony, so let's go see that. Oh, wow. Look at that. It is so nice to sit out and have your. I'm so glad she didn't say coffee, because literally every person on the show goes a balcony. I can sit out there and have my coffee.

[Ben]

Just like my papa had in the house we had growing up.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. But she doesn't. She's like, wow, it's really nice to sit out and have your flowers. It's like, what? I prefer coffee. And I can. You know, I can see some potential for sure. Oh, let me guess. We are guessing the things that men never say about Becky Lynn.

[Ben]

Unfortunately, there is a city ordinance that there's no bad bleach jobs allowed on public balconies. You'll have to stay inside.

[Ronnie]

So they look at the bathroom, and it's teeny tiny. And the bathtub is way too tiny for.

[Ben]

Yeah, because Amanda. It's like a hall. It's so narrow, this room. So they're like. No, they're like. It's basically. It's a shower with a sink in it. So, you know, Claudia's like, my father designed this apartment. You guys can both die now.

[Ronnie]

Well, listen, there's a lot of good things about that apartment. I love the balcony. I can eat flowers out there. Oh, and it's just so nice. I love that it's near a castle. Oh, my God. I've been kidnapped. I'm at the top of the castle. Mario, come and get me.

[Ben]

I just would like to elaborate for Becky Lynn that it is just a regular castle, not White Castle. Before she gets too excited, Becky Lynn.

[Ronnie]

Is already counting her nickels.

[Ben]

So Amanda's like, I just. I want to see some places with nicer bathrooms, you know? And Becky Lynn's like, yeah. And more of a social scene for you to hang out with and not. Not talk to me again, as usual, Every time we go to a party.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's right on. But. So. But it is right on budget. It's a thousand dollars a month. And she said, we might not find something in that budget for your wish list. I mean, come on. It's good. And Becky Lynn's like, well, I think she would rather start crossing things off her list, but raising her budget is going to cut into the fun time. Okay. And that's not the Amanda that We know. I mean, if you tell an Amanda, hey, Amanda, you're going to have a mansion, but you can never afford to go to Golden Corral. Would you know what she's going to do right in the goddamn streets? That's what.

[Ben]

You know, our Amanda, she just loves a fun time. Anywhere she goes. She says, I want to be in the funnest place of all the fun times. And that's why she came to the fun capital of the world, Nuremberg.

[Ronnie]

So now they're walking around, and Amanda's like, you know, there is an expat group that meets here. Oh, my God. We never liked that girl. Why would you want to find another whole group of girls that are all named Pat?

[Ben]

Okay, Becky Lynn, you really need to get out of the house more. So. I can't help it. Mama needs help.

[Ronnie]

So anyway, it means they used to be named Pat. Get it right, Becky Lynn. Well, I can see why they changed their name. That girl was a real b.

[Ben]

Being so far from home, you know, I'm a little bit nervous about meeting new people, especially if I have to bring Becky Lynn around them. But, you know, in Nashville, I have a great group of friends, and Becky Lynn. So I want to be close to everything in this city because I want to be able to meet people.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, yeah, Becky Lynn, I just want to be in a fairy tale, get better shoes.

[Ben]

You know, I have a very. No, Amanda has a very luxurious outlook on life on. On the place she wants to live. But her social life and going home to see her family, that's super important to her. You know, she just really can't wait to come back and mainly see me and my mama. She's not doing so well.

[Ronnie]

So then we see them going to house number two, and Becky Lynn thinks house number one makes practical sense. It's basically a structural ver of Becky Lynn's cotton top. Tasteless, but at least it covers your nipples. And though Amanda loves the balcony, she's just not willing to settle. So sorry, Becky Lynn. I know you've heard that a lot this week.

[Ben]

We do have a ticket available for you on Spirit Airlines to go home. No settling. That goes for us, too. We brought in your ancestor to play your part for the rest of the episode.

[Ronnie]

Some man is like, well, it would def. I'd be willing to go over the budget for a nicer bathroom and to be close to the social scene. How about that? Try. Show me something. Big budget. All right, Claudia. And Claudia's like, the rental market here is very hot and her expectations don't meet the price that she wants to pay. So it's two beats.

[Ben]

With House 2. Claudia aims to get Amanda in the middle of the action for just a little bit more than her budget. So then we see this map. And the map is funny because they've, like, animated Amanda and Becky Lynn on the map, and they're just like. Their little feet are. Did you see that? Their little kind of like. Do they do that every episode?

[Ronnie]

No, they've added that. That's like a new thing where they've added animation now on top of the map. And it's so funny. They just show them walking, like, very.

[Ben]

Slowly, and only their feet are animated. There's just like a still shot. And then they animated their feet going up and down.

[Ronnie]

But then when we come back to them, they kind of walk like that. I was like, am I being tricked? So they approach house number two, and Becky Lynn's like, wow, I could see you living in a place like this. Holy moly guacamole. You're right across the street from a place that sells french fries. Those are called chips. Whatever.

[Ben]

Are there any hills nearby? Because we need to get to Starbucks. So it's one bedroom. It's eleven hundred dollars per month. So it's one hundred over the budget. And they walk in, and Amanda is like, wow. Everything in here is. So. Why.

[Ronnie]

Welcome to Germany.

[Ben]

Welcome to Becky Lynn.

[Ronnie]

We've worked very hard to keep it this way.

[Ben]

So they. There's a. It's. It's actually like. It's better than the first place. It's definitely bigger, but the kitchenette is small, and the sink is like this shallow little tin sink. And they're like. That's like an airplane sink. Are we on an airplane? Because as far as I can tell, we got the sink right here and the stewardess right there. Excus me. This is realtor uniform. Take that back.

[Ronnie]

Well, it ain't like you're gonna be cooking anyway. Becky or Amanda, she's like, shut up, Becky Lynn. I mean, this would be even difficult to wash wine glass in. That is my dinner.

[Ben]

Yeah, well, we know you don't cook anyway because you're not a real woman, okay? A real lady from Nashville knows how to cook her man something. Becky Lynn, you be quiet until you get a man. You can't talk about what one does for a man, okay?

[Ronnie]

Sorry, Raymond.

[Ben]

Americans really having lots of arguments here. I didn't think the sink would unravel.

[Ronnie]

Them so much, so they like a lot about it. The bathroom is nice. It has a big window, but there's no bathtub. And Claudia's like, the shower is not bad for you. You are lucky it is not horse.

[Ben]

We save horse for Becky Lynn. So, yeah, it's. It's. I think it's fine. I mean, that's just.

[Ronnie]

I used to work with a bunch of Germans, and I remember at a restaurant called Pop, Duck and Circumstance, it was like a traveling circus tent thing in New York. And they were so funny that I've told you about them before. They used to tell me, Stella Fatso, like, they're just so blunt. And one time I was. She's like, do you like the staff meal? And I was like, I don't really like it that much today. And she goes, goes, this is fine for you. And just walked off. That's what Claudia is like. She's like, oh, you need bathtub showers. Fine for you.

[Ben]

That's all you get. So Amanda does like it. She's like, I love this place. And she's like, it's like living in a hotel. And Becky Lynn says, and it's super close to your budget. So I'm a fan of that because I care about your budget most of all. But Amanda says, but I really want that bathtub. And I'd really like to see if something has all of these things. If I could get everything on my wish, what would it cost me? Do I have to sacrifice Becky Lynn? I'll do that for a good apartment.

[Ronnie]

Oh, you're going to sacrifice something worthless. Thank you so much. Do you have any crumpled up used paper you would also like to sacrifice?

[Ben]

Coming up, Amanda finally gets her wish. And I get my wish. No, I don't. Just kidding. I still have to watch Becky Lynn on this show, Payday.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, wow, she's gonna get her wish, but its price will take a bite out of her budget. And so we see them coming up to him. Becky Lynn's like, oh, my God, she gonna be living in the castle.

[Ben]

So now they are with some. So there was a guy from the expat group who is clearly into Amanda, but not so into Becky Lynn. This is. This is a dynamic that I'm sure has played out many times with these two girls where Amanda ditches Becky Lyn, a guy, so he's sort of following them around. And the Linda's like, Amanda's trading her full social life in Nashville for the chance to further her career in Nuremberg and maybe get some D with the xp.

[Ronnie]

So they go check out the Nuremberg castle and the narrator's like, okay, she's trading her dreams to come to Nuremberg, Germany. She dreams of finding a new circle of friends from a palatial apartment in the middle of the social, social scene without a naggy cotton lady. Cotton wearing lady knocking on her door and trying to take up all of her time every single day.

[Ben]

But after checking out two properties in the city's competitive market, Becky Lynn is still annoying. So Amanda knows she can't have the fairy tale she wants, especially if Becky Lynn's there close to her budget. So we're gonna try something else. So now Becky Lynn's like, Amanda's a little crazy. I mean, upping her budget isn't really reasonable. She would go home and see her family. Maybe she should just stay in Nashville in the first place with me and mama.

[Ronnie]

Amanda's like, yeah, I'd. I'd definitely be willing to go and above on my budget for a nicer bathroom and to be close to the bars and the restaurants and the social scene. Oh, it's so exciting. House 2 takes Amanda slightly over budget, but gets her closer to the action. Let's look at that again. What? No tub? What am I, monster? So after checking out two properties in the city's competitive market, she knows she can't have the fairy tale. Let's see what she thinks of this place. House number three. Claudia's certain of one thing. They're both gonna still be wearing terrible lipstick.

[Ben]

Amanda. Amanda will fall in love with this apartment, but I'm not so sure she'll be able to pay for it. And we find out, well, we go to like a coffee shop. Shop. And we found out house number three is a one bedroom. It has a big living room, a bath of a balcony. It is actually really nice. And it's fourteen hundred dollars a month. So it's four hundred dollars above her budget, which I think she can do this.

[Ronnie]

That's substantial. No, I mean, if you're on a fixed salary, I mean, you know how much you can spend. I mean, where are you going to come up with an extra 400amonth?

[Ben]

She's like head of global products, something another with a corporation. She can. She can pay for the fourteen hundred dollars a month. Month. I think she can do it. Yeah. 100% she can.

[Ronnie]

Well, I don't know. Coming up with an extra $400 is hard. I mean, what's she going to do, like, have an only lipstick account? I made my $400 by guys jerking off to all my crazy lipsticks.

[Ben]

So Becky Lynn is not happy she's like, you're over budget. I'm obsessed with your budget. So they go and see it. And Becky Lynn is like, amanda's a little crazy for thinking she can afford this place. She's going cut money from somewhere. And to think that she's going to cut it from going home to see her family, I just don't see that happening. Because if there's one thing that we want from Becky Lynn is that she needs to be able to go home and see her family. I'm like, if she wants to see her family so badly, I don't think she's. She'd be moving to Nuremberg.

[Ronnie]

She's purposely asking for a more expensive place so she doesn't have an excuse. So she has an excuse to not come home and see your ass. I mean, you can read it all over this girl's face. I mean, what's she gonna do, leave guitar guy up for grabs? I actually take this apartment. Take this apartment. I finally got a chance.

[Ben]

Yeah. Did you not see the guy with a flat iron hair singing that. Singing his guitar at the top of the episode? Amanda is getting out of Nashville, okay? To have her family come here.

[Ronnie]

No, she won't do that either. She's just gone.

[Ben]

Okay?

[Ronnie]

She will not see her anymore.

[Ben]

It's done.

[Ronnie]

But she will send you postcards saying, have you ever heard of schn? It has changed my life. I'm not even kidding you. You.

[Ben]

Dear Mama, they have the craziest lipstick out here. If you order lipstick, you know what they give you? A schnitzel. They take it. Then what you have to do is you have to cut a hole in it, and you put it on your face, and those are your new lips.

[Ronnie]

I mean, it's just so natural. I gave myself a pedicure with the pretzel today.

[Ben]

I don't even have to have a car. What they do is they give you a giant beer stein with wheels, and you just sort of pedal that down to the job.

[Ronnie]

Now, listen here, Amanda. I'm supposed to be the voice of reason and keep you in check. And you're. And you're on your own right now. I mean, you've gone off the deep end, girl. She goes, oh, yeah, right. Well, maybe I'll need to ask you for more money, okay? You better start saving up from that Piggly Wiggly, all right? Because I'm going to need you to send it to Mama. Get a new pair of shoes.

[Ben]

So she's like, well, we should go to the pub, you know? And that way we can see if. If what. What house to get. And Becky Lynn's like, well, if you go for this part, but you won't have enough money to go to the pub anymore. So relax, Becky Lynn. Okay? Just enjoy. They have a place to crash in Germany.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And so they check out the place. There is a balcony and it can see the river and the castle and it's. It's amazing. It's amazing, you guys. And there's a big open living space. And they talk about the.

[Ben]

That.

[Ronnie]

That pub some more. And Amanda thinks the cabinets are dated. Honey, is all dated. It's Germany.

[Ben]

Look.

[Ronnie]

Look around. The walls are dated, the floors are dated. Everything is dated. The only thing not dated here is Becky Lynn. God bless her heart.

[Ben]

God bless. Yeah. This is all built like 5,000 years ago. Okay, so Amanda is like moving to Germany. I want the entire experience. I want to be in. What? I just want to know what it feels like to be in a fairy tale, but without the annoying stepsister. Sorry, Becca Lynn, you're gonna have to go. Anyway. This apartment is like that. This is like a fairy tale apartment.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, this is so nice, Claudia. And Becky Lynn's like, there is a problem. We know her name is Becky Lynn. Well, I'm just saying it's way over your budget, okay? Oh, God. All I can think about is balcony, bathtub, another balcony, A bathtub, A balcony.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Prince Charming giving me a bath on a balcony. The neighbors call the police, cuz I'm naked on the balcony. Why am I in prison? And why didn't anybody speak English? I'm terrified. Becky Lynn, come get me. You don't have enough money left in your budget for me to get a plane ticket? I'm dying.

[Ben]

You know, I just really have to weigh out the pros and the cons. Pros, this place is beautiful. Cons, Becky Lynn is in it. Okay, well, I think that makes the decision easy. We'll get rid of Becky Lynn. I'll take the apartment. You know, as much as I love this place, I don't know that I want to sacrifice seeing my family as much as I could. Wait, hold on one second. Second. Yeah. I don't really like my family. Not really anything anymore.

[Ronnie]

Let me just take a moment and stare at my screensaver of my family. God, those people are ugly. How did I luck out looking so good? I'm not ever going home.

[Ben]

Hey, let's look at my wish list checklist. Okay. House number one, social scene X. Bathtub, check. Balcony, check. On budget, check. Becky Lynn 2 standing too close to me. X.

[Ronnie]

House 2 does not have this. It does have the social scene, but nothing else. And house number three does not have the on budget part, but it has everything else. Guys. And by the way, Shelby, again, I keep bringing you up, but wow, this checklist is amazing formatting. So then Amanda and Becky Lynn are at the pub, and Amanda's, like, down to business. What is it that you do again?

[Ben]

Shut up.

[Ronnie]

It's better than you. Okay, Mr. Never Leaving Homanburg. Okay, so let's go over this. I gotta make a really big decision. I gotta figure out where to live, and I gotta do it fast, Girl.

[Ben]

Amanda is giving up her full her life full of family and friends and annoying guys playing guitar at parties when no one asked them to, for a new job in future in Nuremberg, Germany.

[Ronnie]

I'm sorry. I didn't feel like that was an honest enough read. Let me try again. Amanda's giving up her life of homely family members, deadbeat men, and babies that were most likely accidents to come to Nuremberg. Good luck to her.

[Ben]

Amanda's giving up her life full of annoying family members, driving Becky Lynn to get a mani pedi, and then taking her to the Harris Teeter so that way she can get some sort of new calendar that has a kitten on it that she likes and things like that to come to Nuremberg.

[Ronnie]

Well, I don't even know how I'm going to live without you, Becky Lynn, but at least you got to come and help me with the first part. Okay, now, when you're done carrying my suitcases, please leave and delete my number out of your phone.

[Ben]

Well, she got storybook ideals for her new home, but Becky Lynn knows if she doesn't make a sensible choice, she can't afford the life she wants.

[Ronnie]

Like, go ahead.

[Ben]

I was just gonna read the line.

[Ronnie]

No, you go ahead. Go ahead.

[Ben]

Becky Lynn up in her budget isn't really reasonable, okay? She'd have no money to go home to see her family. She needs to come home.

[Ronnie]

All right, let's start with the Castle apartment. Okay. Now, I love that it's your budget. Budget, budget, budget. I mean, I want you to. I want you to think what everybody chanted at my wedding as I walked down the aisle.

[Ben]

Wow. Budget, budget. Oh, Becky Lynn, that's so sweet of you to pretend that you had a wedding. Anyway, you may remember that was at the top of the hill. If you want to get Starbucks, you have to go down a hill and up a hill. So just think about that, Becky Lynn. She's like, oh, that's right. Cross it off the list.

[Ronnie]

Well, I didn't love the location. Okay, let's go to house number two in Nuremberg. Okay. It's the heart of Nuremberg. I did love that neighborhood, you know, I just loved it. I mean, it didn't have a balcony. That wasn't great. Didn't have bathtub. Ooh, gross. Oh, God. I mean, if I'm gonna go over my budget, then I want it be perfect. I want it to be in the center of town. I want it to have a balcony, a bathtub, the coffee shop above. I mean, it's perfect. Does it have a McDonald's? Okay, well, nothing's really perfect, Becky Lynn, but just come with me on this one.

[Ben]

But that's 400 over your budget. That's 400 that you can't spend. And going home to see your family. Your family misses you. I'm not even part of it, but your ma just cries every single day. She says, I've got no one to watch reruns of.

[Ronnie]

Just. Just shoot me with.

[Ben]

It's not fair. You gotta see your mama.

[Ronnie]

Nothing beats actually going out and enjoying the town and meeting new people, which you're not gonna do if you're cooped up in your apartment. That costs too much money.

[Ben]

So we see all the houses, and they eliminate the first one, obviously, because it was terrible. And then Becky Lynn is like, yeah, I just don't see how that one's gonna work for you. You have no money. And Amanda's like, I don't know how people do that bathroom situation. So basically, they decide. She decides to go for the big one, the one that's over her budget, which made me happy, because I love when people go over their budget on this show.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I do too. And I love that she's like, who cares? I don't need to. It's gonna come from somewhere. It is gonna come from somewhere. I'll find that money. I'll make it up somehow. And, you know she's gonna start an Etsy.

[Ben]

No. Yeah, she'll get the guys to buy her drinks, all that stuff. You know, she'll be fine. She'll be fine.

[Ronnie]

She'll start braiding, like, cornstalk hair and selling it on Etsy or something. But, you know, good for her. She's super happy with it. And she's like, you know, it's the hardest part, but ultimately, I have to be happy here, and I want some comforts of home. Guitar guy off. Becky Lynn, stop trying to ruin this for me.

[Ben]

Speaking of Comforts of home. I think that maybe you need to remember your comforts at your home. So bye, Becky Lynn.

[Ronnie]

So then we see. Later we see the new apartment. And it's funny because at the end of these shows now they do like a. Oh, now here's what it looks like with them living in it. Or like, here's how they've decorated. And it's like, swoop. Terrible beige couch. Another terrible beige couch. I was like, well, you know, she. She reserves all the lipstick for her face in this relationship with her apartment.

[Ben]

Yeah, she has friends over. She has the realtor there. And she's like, you know, I still love going out. Don't get me wrong. But I definitely had to adjust my finances so, you know, having people over is easier. Plus also, I don't cook anymore. I just eat my lipstick. But, you know, it tastes good. You get used to it after a while.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's interesting because she's like, you know, I just can't. I do spend more, so I can't go out. So I just have everybody over here. And then we see that she's like, made a ton of food for people. Isn't that more expensive? Is it different over there? Yeah. And she's like, hey, do y' all like the food? And this lady goes, very nice. Stupid. What, is she trying to poison us? It tastes like crack.

[Ben]

What is offered food. So anyway, thanks Allison King, who gave us the recommendation for that episode. Super fun. And if you have recommendations for Dwell hello episodes, go email [e-mail] and say in the subject header, dwell hello suggestion. Thanks everyone for listening and we will catch you on the next episode.

[Ronnie]

Bye, everybody. Bye.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Oh, right.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Boost Mobile is now sending experts nationwide to deliver and set up customers new phones.

[Ben]

Wait, we're going on tour?

[Ronnie]

We're delivering and setting up customers phones. It's not a tour. Not with that attitude. Introducing store to door. Switch and get a new device with expert setup and delivery.

[Ben]

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