Dwell Hello #505 Strangers Search For Paradise

Summary

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Watch What Crappens

Episode: Dwell Hello #505 "Strangers Search For Paradise"

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: February 27, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively recap, Ben and Ronnie dive into a House Hunters International episode titled "Strangers Search for Paradise." This episode follows two women, Shay and Nicole, total strangers who move to St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands to share a rental. The hosts revel in the clash of personalities, dissecting their house hunt with trademark snark and empathy, taking aim at everything from teal Jeeps to dog drama. As always, Ben and Ronnie use the house-hunting drama as a lens for deeper (and hilarious) commentary on personality dynamics, privilege, and the realities of moving abroad.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Meet the House Hunters: Shay & Nicole

• Setup:
  • Shay (from North Carolina) and Nicole (from Georgia) are total strangers who met online to be roommates in St. Thomas.
  • Both are looking for new starts—Shay in the jewelry business, Nicole working remotely (and obsessed with cruise ship views).
• Hosts’ Take:
  • Ronnie quickly pegs Nicole as a "bland" daddy’s girl, while Shay is painted as anxious and out of her depth.
  • (05:28) Ronnie: “She’s very clearly like a daddy’s girl type, you know, who gets everything that she wants.”
  • (04:34) Ben: “Nicole is awful. I hate Nicole. She has no personality... She just exists.”

2. Clash of Personalities and Privileges

• Nicole: Assertive about her wants, but “bland” and entitled without the flair that makes some privilege forgivable.
• Shay: Anxious, practical, and self-sacrificing, her primary concern is sticking to budget and proximity to work.
• Running Jokes:
  • Teal obsession (Nicole’s teal Jeep, teal everything).
  • Nicole’s small dog Lottie becomes a third “roommate” with outsized influence.
• (11:18) Ben: “So we’re gonna be like the teal jeep people on the street. This is like the Cybertruck of St. Thomas right now.”

3. Reality Check: Island Living Logistics

• Limited Choices: Only 5 suitable rentals on the whole island (“mission impossible place”).
• Budget Concerns:
  • Shay insists on the $2,200 max; Nicole keeps pushing for exceptions for her “dream house.”
• Disparity in Goals: Shay just wants to make island life work, Nicole wants her vacation fantasy (cruise ship views and more space).
• (13:56) Ben: “There’s about 45 condos to rent, but only five that will rent to someone with so little personality.”

4. The Homes

Three viewed, each dissected with the hosts’ mix of ridicule and insight:

• House 1: 2-bed, 2-bath, $2k/month, very teal, underwhelming interior but solid practical choice.

  • Nicole dismisses due to lack of cruise ship view and calls it grimy.
  • (15:29) Nicole: “The living room matches my dress – it’s teal.”
  • (18:57) “I’m not a fan. Neither is Lottie.”

• House 2: 2-bed, 2-bath, $2,300/month, bigger, slightly over budget, decent views, awkward layout (fridge in hallway), ugly furniture.

  • Shay feels priced out; Nicole focuses on the view, disregarding Shay’s concerns.
  • (26:34) Ben: “Why do we have to go over budget for a view that we can get for free anywhere else on the island?”
  • (29:22) Nicole: “I want to dream bigger. Dream bigger with your own purse.”

• House 3 (‘Dream House’): Large, $2,900/month, best views, access to pool denied (owner’s use only), only one bathroom, tacky decor.

  • Both hosts trash the idea of paying more without use of the pool.
  • Ben is infuriated by Nicole’s entitlements (“When you can afford it, you can get the view. Okay. Sucker.” – 36:16).

5. Iconic Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Nicole’s Privilege:
  • (06:23) Ronnie: “She’s doing the spoiled girl thing but without the fun attitude…she just exists.”
• On Compromise:
  • (40:07) Ben (as Nicole): “Great, so you’ll pick up a third job and I’ll hang around the house. That’s great.”
• On Room Dynamics:
  • (41:42) Ronnie: “She got the ultimate revenge on Nicole because she rescued a puppy for herself… Lottie’s old, so old dogs do not generally like puppies.”
• On the Episode's Lesson:
  • (36:55) Ben: “You have to make sacrifices…The dream is that you get to live on the island. So you don’t…get to have the view right away. You have to work your way up.”
• Closing Moment:
  • (42:21) Ben: “She just robbed Nicole of the dog card... Now I have a dog. I have the dog card, too. You don’t have dog card privileges over me anymore.”

6. The Final Decision & Aftermath

• They choose House 2 (slightly over budget) to satisfy Nicole’s dream of yard and view.
• Three months later: Shay gets a puppy, neutralizing Nicole’s dog leverage.
• Both seem to tolerate each other; Shay hints at seeking other friends and communities outside their little duo.
• (41:42) Ronnie: “I’ve joined every club in town to get away from this girl, and it’s kind of starting to work, so thank Jes.”

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Nicole's Personality:
  • Ben (04:34): "Nicole is awful. I hate Nicole. She has no personality...She just exists."
• On Compromise:
  • Nicole (19:28): "I'm not saying that I'm made of money, but I am saying that my dad is, and I'm willing to spend a little bit more to get the view that I'm looking for."
• On Island Living Reality:
  • Ben (26:34): "Why do we have to go over budget for a view that we can get for free anywhere else on the island?"
• On Achieving the Dream:
  • Ben (36:55): "You have to work your way up to the view. But you don't start...you just don't get to start at the top."
• The Dog Card:
  • Ben (42:21): “Now I have a dog. I have the dog card, too.”
• Ronnie on Friendship:
  • Ronnie (41:42): "I've joined every club in town to get away from this girl, and it's kind of starting to work, so thank Jes."

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:19 | Introduction of Shay & Nicole | | 11:18 | Teal obsession, Nicole’s ostentatious but empty personality | | 15:29 | Tour and critique of House #1 | | 18:57 | Lottie the dog influences house decisions | | 26:34 | Discussion on value of a view vs. rental price (House #2) | | 36:10–36:55| Ben’s rant on sacrificing for "the dream" | | 41:13 | Moving in and puppy dynamics; Shay’s subtle revenge | | 42:21 | “Dog card” power shift | | 43:07 | Wrap-up reflections on the roomie relationship |

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Tone & Style Highlights

• Playful, mocking, but affectionate: Their snark is ultimately rooted in affection for the format and the people.
• Pop culture references: Frequent shout-outs to Bravo stereotypes, teasable moments, and reality show tropes.
• Relatable frustrations: The struggle between budget dreams and real-world limitations—a classic House Hunters theme.

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Conclusion

This episode of Watch What Crappens delivers a hilarious and incisive breakdown of House Hunters International’s “Strangers Search for Paradise,” with Ben and Ronnie alternating between exasperation and empathy for Shay and Nicole. The real joy comes from their observations about entitlement, expectations, and the social minefields of shared living—especially when dogs and daddy’s money come into play. Fans of Bravo-style reality and witty reality TV commentary will find much to love in this episode.

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For more Dwell Hello episodes or to suggest a House Hunters recap, email watchwhatcrappensmail.com with your recommendation!

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

Ding dong.

[A]

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[C]

Ding dong ding ding ding ding ding dong.

[A]

Hello. Well, hello and welcome to Dwell. Hello. A House Hunters podcast. I'm Ben. That's Ronnie. What's going on, Ronnie? How are you today?

[C]

Hi, how are you?

[A]

I am fabulous. Excited to talk some, some, some House hunters today. Today's episode, of course, I just had it right in front of me and now it's gone. Strangers search for for paradise. This is House Hunters International. We watched it on Max, so the easiest way to find it is just to type in Strangers Search for Paradise and you can watch it there. Now, if you have a House Hunters episode that you saw House Hunters or House Hunters International or heck, you know, we haven't done a House Hunters tiny house in a long time. I don't know if they even still do those, but as long as it's.

[C]

Available in all time.

[A]

What'd you say?

[C]

I think we've only done one in all time.

[A]

Yeah, that guy in Palm Springs, I think. So if you find one, as long as it's on Max and available to watch, just make sure it's not behind a paywall in terms of like, you know, you have to like rent it or something like that. Then just message us, email [e-mail] and put in your subject Dwell. Hello suggestion and we will hopefully recap it right here.

[C]

So we've done more than one tiny house because I remember we did that one with a family with like three or four children and the dad was like in a band or something.

[A]

Yeah. And they weren't going to live in.

[C]

The parking lot of the Walmart while the dad played.

[A]

Was wasn't like a Winnebago or something like that. They want they had like a. Like an Airstream trailer or something. Yeah, we've actually done so many of these at this point. It's kind of wild. Like, we've seen. We. We've really, like elegant. I remember almost all of them. They all, they, they. They're all ridiculous in so many different ways.

[C]

Yeah. Well, this one is special because this one is a little different than what we're used to. This is two girls who met online to do a share house with themselves in St. Thomas. Shay and Nicole come from completely different worlds. One of them looks like she's drugged out on bentos and the other one has worried face and at all times.

[A]

Hi, I'm Nick. I'm from Georgia. I'm from Georgia. That's Nicole. And then Shay is like, and I'm from North Carolina. And then we have their real estate agent who's like, and you just met right now? But an online. He's like, what the fuck?

[B]

So.

[A]

But an online search for a flatmate on the US Virgin Islands has brought this unlikely pair together. For better or. Or worse. Much worse.

[C]

Oh, so you're looking for a space for two complete strangers. That's going to be difficult. I'm up to the task. I just hope that they are. So Shay, the worried one, is like, I sold everything that I have to move here. She always looks like she's about to start crying. She's like, I sold everything. I was like, what did you have, Shay? She's like, I sold like five used notebooks and a pair of roller skates.

[A]

My favorite Trapper Keeper with an elf sticker on the front. And then Nicole. Nicole is. I'm just gonna say it. Nicole is awful. I hate Nicole. She has no personality. I think the reason why I have such a bad reaction to her is because I feel like I have been stuck talking to Nicole at a party one on one for way too long. Like, I've. She's the sort of person that you. She comes along attached to someone and you're talking to that person and that person goes off to the bathroom and then you're stuck talking to Nicole. And Nicole has no personality and she's not interesting, but whatever glimmers of personality that you do see are not good. And so you're just like, ugh, why am I stuck talking to this person? I just can't wait to like, how do I escape this conversation? There's a better conversation over there. But how do I get out of this without being a total dick about it, you know?

[C]

Yeah, well, she's Very clearly like a daddy's girl type, you know, who gets everything that she wants. And you know she's with this girl Shay who's like. I wouldn't say dorky. Like she's not dorky, but Nicole is like a Texas like stereotype, you know, she's. Or like a southern girl stereotype where she's just this thin, pretty blonde girl who wears like bright colors and carries around a little tiny dog so she can be like Paris and she just gets everything she wants at all times. And you know that she's looking at. She's looking down on Shay the whole time. You know, she just knows she is. You can see it in her face. And it's just kind of sad. Like I want Shay to escape. I don't have really a problem with Nicole. I know a lot of girls like Nicole, but I just want Shay to do better. I think Shay needs to go to like a pottery class or I don't know, she needs to meet women elsewhere that are not. Yeah. Here.

[A]

Yeah. I think that with Nicole it's like she's doing the like spoiled girl thing but without like the fun attitude that gets to come with it. Like she's not. Her attitude is not like really very snotty. It's just bland. And she's. And she just sort of is like she didn't ever cultivate a personality. She just exists. But she also is sort of.

[C]

She's blind.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

That's.

[A]

She's like bland girl. Yeah. She's like blandly assertive with her perspective in a way that I just like, if you're going to be assertive, at least have some personality behind it. But like to be. To do it so blandly really bothered me.

[C]

Well, she's also doing this like whole daddy's girl thing. But she didn't really win the daddy race because she's wearing like very simple like dress barn cotton.

[A]

Yeah. Like.

[C]

Well, I don't know. I don't, you know, I don't know. I'm kind of with you on her. I'm turning against her now.

[A]

I'm going to force my agenda. Well, because she's not like, I don't think she's like that. She might be upper middle class, but I don't think she's super wealthy because she said she sounded like she was working some 9 to 5 job in Atlanta that was kind of like a dead end job. So she had to like, she had to join the workforce so she can't be a total rich girl. Right.

[C]

Well, I don't mean rich. I just mean like daddy's girl. Like she gets everything she wants. You know, it doesn't have to be rich, apparently the cotton. But so we see sneak peeks of the show and stuff and it's basically this girl brow beating the, you know, not blonde girl to get everything that she wants. So Shay tells us. She's like, I'm originally from Western Salem, North Carolina and I moved to Charlotte to go to college and I love the city. But yeah. Have you seen any shows that take place in Charlotte? Okay. So yeah, I had to. I had to make a change.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I accepted company jewelry company job down here. I'm going to be making jewelry that's going to say help. Everything just says help.

[A]

Just, you know, seashells, seashells on string for the rest of my life. Puka shells. I'm really into puka, Shel. But yeah, that's what I'm doing down there. And then we go to Nicole and she's like, my day to day life in Atlanta is I sit in traffic to go to a 9 to 5 job and then I come home and then I do it again and I'm just looking for more. I've always wanted to live in the Caribbean or anywhere that was in Atlanta. So I got a remote job and I'm literally selling remotes on the island. Cause people don't have them on their TVs. And I'm gonna be doing it all over St. Thomas.

[C]

And you can tell. And I have this daddy's girl thing going in my head because you can tell that her dad took her on a cruise there once because all she wants to do is look at cruise ships. Everybody else who wants a view is not gonna want. It's like moving to New York and being like, can I get a view of Times Square? Who wants that?

[A]

Even with jobs lined up, the island is too expensive to make it alone. Especially if you have some sort of quote unquote jewelry job and whatever zoom thing Nicole's doing.

[C]

Yeah. And Nicole's like, shay posted an ad online saying that she needed a roommate. And we felt that we should be a good fit for each other. Mostly because she's a pushover and I can get everything I want. Yeah.

[A]

And Shay's like, and for me, I have learned the value of research researching people that you are going to live with.

[C]

She will now. So Shay's like, oh my God, that dog. Is this the infamous Lottie? And Nicole's like, yeah, it's my little like arm Candy dog. And we see this dog. This dog. I swear to God. Where's Della Reese? This doll. This dog is like touched. This dog is so close to being an angel. It's very, very close. It's standing on the precipice.

[A]

Well, we are. Della Reese is no longer with us, but I do believe that the white.

[C]

Family on that show.

[A]

Yeah. What's her face? Roma. Whatever her name was. What was her name? She's still with us. She can touch it. So Nicole is like, Lottie is my 10 year old daughter. She's excited to be an island girl. And I'm bringing down like the piers island, right. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm saying words.

[C]

So she's. And Nicole, of course drives exactly what we all think. She does a teal Jeep. And. And Shay goes, are you sure this is yours? And she's like, yeah, pretty, right? It's my dad's favorite color. She's like. She's just like, mm, great.

[A]

It's just so funny how she has such like sort of ostentatious shows of personality without actually having a personality. A teal Jeep, a little doggie that has like bows in its hair and all this stuff. Like you expect it to be Jennifer Coolidge, but it's just Nicole.

[C]

So Shay's like, oh, here's my personality. I like teal. I'm wearing a teal dress. I have a teal jeep and I like a teal living room that we see in a minute.

[A]

So Shay's like, so we're gonna be like the teal jeep people on the street. Everyone's gonna be like, oh, there goes that teal jeep, aren't we? We're gonna be those people. This is like the Cybertruck of St. Thomas right now.

[C]

So Alexi tells us about St. John or St. Thomas. It's one of the most demanded destinations under the US flag, is very small, 30 miles, population of about 50,000 people. And if you can't do math, that's 49,000 people. Who are more interesting than the girl from North Carolina.

[A]

And then Shay's like, so where exactly are we on the island right now? He's like, well, right now we are literally in the middle of the island. As you can tell by the fact that every view shows ocean equally far away. But this is where the cruise ships come in. And so it's broken in two halves. The north side is the Atlantic side. It's much cooler on the east end. And the south side is the Caribbean side. It's a lot hotter. It's where everything is going on. A lot of bars, a lot of restaurants. Nicole's like, I want to be where the action is. Yes. When I saw Nicole, I was like, this girl just wants to be out there and socializing and showing off that great personality of hers.

[C]

Wow, look at her. What a go getter. So Shay's like, well, I'm hoping to find something on the north side because that's where my job is. And, you know, I'm just nervous we're not going to agree because, you know, like, we have different views. You know, I have the view of me and she has a view. I mean, I don't know. Is she on something? Is she on something? Can you guys tell? Can someone put their finger under her nose and see if there's any breath coming out? Because I just.

[A]

I mean, I kind of feel like I'd like to be on the north side because it's close to my job. And I was the one who kind of like invented this whole episode because it was my decision to move down here. And I said, who wants to live with me? And it wasn't like, who can I live with? It was, who can live with me? I may call in the shots, but that's okay. It's fine. I can live with a teal jeep and far away from my work. That's great. So.

[C]

So he asked what kind of place they're looking for, and Shay wants a two bedroom place. And she's okay with one bathroom. She literally doesn't care. She's living her dream. And then Nicole's like, I don't even know about one bathroom. I might need to have my own. But also I need a good. Preferably as something that weighs thousands of tons and puts out a lot of pollution and maybe causes global warming. Maybe like cruise ship. Cruise ship, exactly. Do you have a Chili's anywhere that I could just stare at?

[A]

He's like, well, the island is in very high demand for the entire island of St. Thomas. There's only five condos for rent. Well, asterisk, there's like about 45 condos to rent, but only five that will rent to someone with so little personality. So before we start looking for this Mission impossible place, what is the budget? 2200 max. And Nicole's like, yeah, I understand where you're coming from, but I'm willing to be flexible if we have the perfect home. And, you know, Shea is like, I don't have money for a shell startup.

[C]

I can spend more money because this is my dream. I don't give a fuck what your dream is. Go back to bed. Okay? This is the real world. You can't just find someone online and then start making her pay more money. No, man.

[A]

Yeah, this may be your dream, but it's her listing. So Alexi's like, okay, I'll look for. Looking for a space for two complete strangers is going to be difficult, but I'm up to the task and I just hope that they are also. There's only five choices, so it's pretty easy. They have to choose one. So Alexei's first choice for the girls is a second floor apartment in a great location in between the north and the east end. Some would call that northeast. You idiots. Who's writing this?

[C]

Two bedroom, two bathroom, 2,000amonth. So it's under budget. And so Shay loves it. She's like, I'll move in. I'll just move in. You know, I don't care. I'll sleep on the floor. And she's like, you know, he can keep showing us houses that are under budget. Love that about him. Sounds perfect. And Nicole's like, oh, my gosh, the living room matches my dress. It's teal.

[A]

Question. If I change my dress at the living room change also. So then everything. Everything is very, very teal and blue. Teal. Teal. It's. It's kind of like gross. It's gross. It's like lots, I guess. I know island living. There's a lot of tiling, like on the floor. That's kind of part of it, but it's just like.

[C]

But it's not cute tiling. You know what I mean? It's ugly. It's like the cheapest shit at Home Depot. It's like the builder's grade. It's gross. It looks like it hasn't been cleaned. The kitchen counter is really thin. And then it's got floor tile tiling on the kitchen counter. And it's just. It's just gross. The whole place is gross. And they do that thing where they just paint walls different colors to make it more interesting, but, like, clean it. You know what I mean? That would. That would make it better. So they're trying to make the best out of it, especially Shay. And they look at one bedroom. It has an amazing view. It is a nice view. And Nicole's like, it's beautiful, but it's not really the view that I'm looking for. I'm looking for more boats, you know, cruise ships. You know, I want a boat so big that Just has, you know, the thing that Shay's gonna be for the rest of her life. I wanted to say virgin. Do you have that?

[A]

I. I also love this girl. This is my favorite thing on House Hunters International. Someone who has, like, basically no job or a nominal job, moves to an exotic locale and expects to have beachfront beautiful views for, like, $300 a month. No, you' the trees and you're getting a sliver of ocean, and that's what you get. Sorry. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And so she's like, I don't really need much space. I don't know about you. She's like, I do. The room's too small. Like, I'm really confused on what Shay wants. Like, I hope that we can figure this out as we go, like, get some taste.

[A]

So he's like, all right, here's an ensuite. So it has its own bathroom. So take a look. And Shay's like, oh, it's bigger. Yeah, it's definitely a decent sized bathroom. You know, whatever. And then they look at another bedroom and they're just, like, looking. They're just, like, looking around. And Nicole is like, I'll take the room with the view. No, no, you will not. This is Shay's. I'm sorry, Shay gets priority. If you ask me. This is. Shay is initiated this entire process. You are gonna get the sofa, Nicole. That's what you get.

[C]

So the realtor is like, yeah, this is going to be a challenge. I think Nicole's a little more high maintenance. It's also possibly not living. I don't know. And she is very, you know, practical. She could use a little Botox just to get the worried look off her face. But, man, keep your wife happy. That's what I say. But unfortunately, no one is a wife here. I don't know what to do.

[A]

Yeah, that's one of my favorite lines. But I don't know how to use it in this situation. So they go to the living room, and it's just kind of, like, generic. It feels kind of like a shitty Airbnb, right? And he's like, look, amazing living space. And Shay's like, yeah, it's cute. It's very cute. It's under budget. When it's under budget, everything's automatically cute. And Nicole's like, yeah, I like how there's, like, a little sitting area, too. It's like, yeah, it's your living space. There's seating. That's how it goes.

[C]

There's a couch in here.

[A]

Wow. Lottie gets a vote in this she's queen bee. And Shay tells us. But she cannot have an opinion in this completely because otherwise I'm automatically gonna lose 2 to 1. I can't go up against Lottie. Lottie has so much power and her social media following, I just can't.

[C]

So she's like, you don't like this? And she's like, no, I'm not a fan. Neither is Lottie. And she's like, you're not. But I mean, it's close to where you want to be, and it's close to my work. And she's like, yeah, the view's just not cutting it for me. So, I mean, if there's a sabaro or something I could look at, that would be great, you know? And also, it's grimy. And she's like, well, I mean, we can clean it. She's like, no, but everything's small. There's not enough view. I'm stopping cheap. She just likes it because it's 200 under bud.

[A]

I'm not saying that I'm made of money, but I am saying that my dad is, and I'm willing to spend a little bit more to get the view that I'm looking for. So now we see a preview of what the next place will be. And now they're walking outside, and Nicole's like, are you excited to go ride in a zap Cap? She's like. She's like, I'm very excited, even though I have no idea what a zap cap is. But are. Are you sure we get to drive them? What, is it an actual vehicle or is it just like a turtle on the beach that we sort of ride on? It's like, I don't know, but as long as it's teal, I'm on board.

[C]

I don't know what it is. I looked it up and I don't see any vehicle type thing.

[A]

Zap Cap. Is it supposed to be Zap Cab maybe?

[C]

Oh, Zap Cab.

[A]

There used to be something called Zab Cab.

[C]

Oh, Zap Cab Insurance. Empowering journeys with Zap Cabs. Professional driver. Safe drive. 24. 7 support. Oh, it's cabs. No, that must be something different.

[A]

Zap Cab. Zap Cab is like a. Looks like a cab. I don't know. Maybe just Nicole. Maybe Nicole made this up and Shay's just trying to go along with it. She's like, you excited to go on the Schleoopy Floppen? Sure. Okay.

[C]

So Shay is like, I'm moving to St. Thomas because I'm 26, I'm single, I'm young and free. I'm starting my career. And, you know, I just. I've met Nicole because I posted online saying, lady, you no one wants to room with here. Was room with someone over there. Anybody want to do it? And she was like, yeah, so here we're doing it, you know, and I need a roommate. So we're going to be a good fit because we're both taking such a risk and such a huge leap of faith. I sold a curling iron to get here, so I'm ready. Pretty much ready to go.

[A]

Hey, let's do the Titanic. Since we're on a boat, let's do the Titanic thing. Okay. So Shay is like, I'll be Rose and I'll be Jack. They do, like, a very sad version of it, but, like, they don't do it well. I think she's like, wait, you're not saying King of the world, right? So for Nicole, the move to St. Thomas is a fresh start, and she's not leaving anything to chance. Shay has a slightly different perspective because she's poor. And so then, Lucy is Shay saying, I think we're going to get along just fine. We have to get along just fine. Otherwise I. I have to question my life decisions and go back to Charlotte. And I'm not going back to Charlotte. But we might not see eye to eye on budget or personality or style or the color of our Jeeps, but I sold everything to move here. And listen. Yes. Did I spend a fortune at Sally Beauty Supply? Yes. Did I get only a fraction of it back when I sold it in my garage sale? Yes. But it's worth it. And I think. I think I'm. I'm just, like, waiting for. I think Nicole's just waiting for something a little more lavish and adventurous. I can't afford it.

[C]

So they're writing, they're going on boats, and they each get their own boat with their own little captain. And Nicole's like, which one's the fastest one? I'm gonna get on the fastest one. I said, why are you making everything a competition, Nicole?

[A]

Okay, let's claim everything. You don't get to.

[C]

God, she's so annoying. So then she's like, yeah, I'm a real diva. Oh, my God. Divas have to have something behind them. Okay? You're just a. You're just a wanter. You're a take. Okay, that's the worst. So they go ride boats and stuff and have a really great time. And then Nicole's like, so far I don't really see my dream home. I just want to walk in and see my dad on the couch.

[A]

Yeah, I just, like. I just feel like. Yeah, nothing is, like, really good. I feel like moving here was the. Like, I feel like moving here was the dream. Oh, I'm sorry. That's Jay saying that. And she's like. She says, I don't know. I mean, I didn't come here looking for a dream home. I came here. I feel like moving here was the dream. Just like being here is the dream. So I just want to save money so that way I can live, save up for the dream, you know, for like $2,000. I think that view is, like, really good. And Nicole's like, it's beautiful, but it's not really the view that I'm looking for. I mean, what about a carnival? Can we look at a carnival? I mean, you. I don't really see the appeal of rides. No Carnival Cruise Line, anything. Come on now. Work with me.

[C]

Yeah, I gave up a lot to be here. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. I don't believe it. I'm just gonna wait for you to argue with me and tell me what you gave up. Nothing. You didn't give up shit to be here. And she's like, and I'm not gonna compromise. So then we see they go to this next house, right? Well, they're riding around on the zap cap. So I guess that's what they are, these things that they're riding around on.

[A]

Still don't really understand the zap caps. I'm like, is it a boat? Is it a scooter? I don't zap cap.

[C]

I guess it's the little boats, right? So then Alexi's like, I'm finding it difficult to read Nicole. Probably as difficult as she finds it to read in general. And we're gonna look for another place. It's a little over budget, but maybe she'll like. So the house, number two is a top floor unit on the north side, just five minutes from Shay's work. Oh, she's gonna hate this one because it's too close to Shay's work.

[A]

You know, she may not like the price, but time is money. At least that's what I always tell my supervisors. Like, why do you always send me into the recording booth when you have only written the first draft of what I'm supposed to be reading? Time is money. I'm Linda, not some crap person off the side of the street. And the views could suffice. For Nicole. Sorry, everyone. Tangent. So Alexei is like, okay, so look. Look at this view. It's absolutely unbelievable. And looks like Lottie likes it too, right? Ha ha ha. So this is a two bedroom, two apartment, just a little bit above your price range of $2,300 a month. Should we take a look? Come on. Want. Come on, try something. Work with me here. You know, one of my favorite lines is, you got to keep your wives happy. All right. Does that work? Does that help? No.

[C]

Will you marry me? I'm just kidding. Okay. Come in. So it's a smaller place, but it's nicer, I think, than the last one. And she's like, you're calling this small? And she's like, I mean, a little bit. What do you think about it? She's like, I think it's kind of big. She goes, and what do you think of the furniture? And the furniture is really ugly. But go to the store.

[A]

Like, go to the store.

[C]

These people can't do everything for you.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. And then they're in the. And Nicole's like, I like the backsplash in the kitchen. And she was like, but the. The refrigerator's in the hallway. I don't know. It was just like, off to the side. It was, no, not a big deal. And Nicole's like, that's. That's awkward. Like, yeah, it's kind of weird. What a shitty place. Refrigerator in the hallway. Boo.

[C]

And Alexi is like, I have the most important appliance for you girls. Microwave. Am I right? Lexi jokes. So now there's another room with some pretty views. You know, it's like. I mean, I guess everywhere has a pretty view here because he describes it as everything being on hills. So everywhere has a good view. Which he shouldn't have said because they're gonna just keep wanting better and better views, or at least Nicole will.

[A]

Yeah, this was a nice view, but I didn't. I didn't think it was, like an amazing view, but it's probably looks better in person. And Nicole's like, yeah, I like this view. I could definitely see myself working here out here. I love this spot. And Shay's like, but why do we have to go over budget for a view that we can get for free anywhere else on the island? We just have to take. Just can go anywhere, Just get your laptop, go to the coffee shop. Because I want the view and Lottie wants the view.

[C]

Also, I have to work from home. And that's another pain in the ass thing where the. The person you're Sharing with and paying equal rent for is going to be there all day yapping, you know, and doing their. And I say that as me, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Who is home all day yapping. But still I only put Bueller through it and thankfully he can't talk. Okay, so they look at the master and there's a full bathroom there, but it's. It's not that cute. Although they're saying it's really updated, but I don't see that there's no bathtub. And he's like, yeah, but you have to remember water is a commodity here. We don't have fresh water supply, so all the water here is gathered from rainwater. So you can't just like sit around in a tub anyway.

[A]

But Nicole, Nicole's like, but I have lots of clothes that would probably be great for me because there's a walk in closet. But I want a bathtub. I'm like, oh my God, I'm gonna murder this woman.

[C]

So the better to drown you with.

[A]

I know, seriously.

[C]

And then she doesn't like it because she knows she's gonna get stuck in this other room. And it's got a really low shower head. And she's like, oh, this bathroom's kind of gross. And the shower head's really low. And he's like, it's handheld. You hold it in hand. And she's like, is this normal?

[A]

He goes, yes.

[C]

She's like, I don't know if I believe you. This feels really small.

[A]

Yeah. And Nicole's like, well, I'm not a fan of the. Yeah, she's stuck in this shitty ass second bedroom that has like, yes, that, the shower head. And then there's like grody tile and carpeting. It's like so bad. And Shay is totally gonna get stuck in there, which is such bullshit. I'm like so mad. Like, justice for Shay.

[C]

She's like, does this have a walk in closet? And he goes, no. She goes, this is your room. She's like, of course you're gonna give me this one.

[A]

I know. She's such a bitch. So Shay's like, overall, I'm kind of iffy on this place. It's got a great location and I really like the view. And Nicole's like, I don't like how outdated it is. It's like your hair. Whoa, wait, that's not fair. You know, it's also over budget. I just feel like, you know, if you're gonna get more modern room and I'm gonna be stuck with the bathroom that has a Shower head that only comes up to here. It's just definitely gonna be difficult looking for an apartment that fits both of our needs. Like, maybe you should go back to Georgia. No, this is my listing now. You go back to Charlotte. Okay, I guess so.

[C]

Nicole's like, shay seems really funny looking, and I'm having a really good time making fun of her in my head, but I think she's really stuck on her budget. And I'm just like, I want to dream bigger. Dream bigger with your own purse.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So now they're in the car with Lex.

[C]

Also, why are they acting like they're getting married and moving into this place?

[A]

You guys are young.

[C]

This is like a temporary place. You just need somewhere to go for a year, figure out if you're gonna stay, and then find people with connections and find a better place.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Forever, babe.

[A]

So then, Nicole, by the way, these are future below deck stews. Just so you know, I was just working on St Thomas, working in jewelry, and I met someone at the bar and they said, come on the boat. So Nicole's. Now we cut to them in the car with Alexi in the teal Jeep. The fucking teal Jeep. And Nicole goes, so Alexi, you still haven't shown me my dream house. Like. Like, if money were no object. You can see Shay. She's like, but money is an object to me. I have no money. I've maxed out all my credit cards. I can't do this.

[C]

So he's gonna show them a really nice place now. So now we see them riding horses. And Nicole's like, I've always wanted to live here. And I'm not just satisfied with going to work every day. I don't have kids. I don't own a home. And the timing feels just right.

[A]

And, you know, by the way, Nicole's gonna make all these demands about where they're supposed to live. They're gonna move in together, and Nicole's gonna find, like, a boyfriend, and she's gonna spend every single night outside of the house, and she's gonna barely be there. And Shea will be like, great, I'm glad that I. I compromise on the house. And you're not even gonna be here because you're. You're go. You're banging Captain Stewart down there in the marina.

[C]

The only thing that Shea ever gets to clean on herself, like, the saddest thing ever. So then Shay tells the realtor again. She's like, I mean, I sold everything to get here. Everything.

[A]

I sold all of my nothing to get here. And Nicole's like, I had a tennis.

[C]

Racket from junior high, and I sold it to be here, so please.

[A]

And Nicole is so cold. Nicole goes, I understand where you're coming from, but this is my dream. Like, I don't care what you sold. I'm getting my view of the boat.

[C]

So now we see flashbacks, because the show, it's like. It's only 20 minutes long, but they keep showing you flashbacks of what happened five minutes ago every five minutes. So he goes, okay, so let me ask you a question. On scale of 1 to 10, 10 will take this place right now. Where are you guys? And Nicole's like, well, I like. This is the second house. She's like, I like the view. And Lottie has somewhere to run around, but it's not very Caribbean. Yeah, Caribbean.

[A]

E. And so it's in the Caribbean. I hate when people do that. It's in the Caribbean. It's Caribbean. It's automatically Caribbeany. Sorry.

[C]

Yeah. So now we go to the car. They're on their way to the next place. And she's like, if money was no object, what are you gonna show me? And he's like, I have something in mind, but you need to beware. It's expensive. $2,900 a month.

[A]

And she's like, okay, well, just let me get nine more jobs. She's like, yeah, you can.

[C]

Maybe you can find a job pulling a card or something. I'm not a donkey. Stop calling me that. Just saying.

[A]

She's like, we're 700 over budget, plus we're in the middle of nowhere on this island. So they walk into this house that's large, but, like, I thought it looked crazy on the inside. I didn't think it was, like, that much nicer. Yeah, I guess the appliances were updated, but it was just like there was all this junk in the middle of this place. I could barely get my moorings.

[C]

Yeah, this isn't cute. And this is clearly a couple that. Well, I'm assuming a couple that has a house. And they're like, let's make some money from some sucker tourists and charge them a ton of money to live upstairs. And we'll still live in the apartment downstairs and get the pool ourselves, you know, trying to find idiots who live there because they don't get to use the pool, which is crazy. The view is incredible. I mean, this has, like, windows all around it, and you can see the ocean. I mean, it's really beautiful, but the house itself is, like, tasteless.

[A]

I think it's not cute. Yeah, I agree. It's tasteless, so get some. Coof. Shay's like, I mean, I love this. I love everything here. Like seashells. And she goes, it's very eclectic. Definitely my taste. But I don't know, I just. I just. Even being in here, I feel kind of broke. It's like, yes, but look, amazing kitchen. Not just microwave. There's granite counters, a professional appliances. It might even encourage you to do a little bit of cooking and try to find a man. You know what I'm saying? And Nicole's like, yeah, right. But we could cook bagel bites in the stove. I mean, the oven. What's the difference? Ma', am, get off my TV right now.

[C]

Lexi just goes, this is my turn to say wow.

[A]

Wow. She's like, this is the stove. This is the oven. Do you even know what a bagel bite is? Yeah, it's that big round thing with the tomato sauce and the cheese on it. That's a pizza. Oh, I have no idea.

[C]

Also, this kitchen isn't. I don't care what they say, this kitchen has like a waterfall. You know, the waterfall style countertop. But it's not cornered right. It's just. It's like one piece of. They put one piece of marble on top of the other instead of like corn. It's just badly done.

[A]

It's not.

[C]

I hate it.

[A]

It's not cute.

[C]

It's not worth this money for sure.

[A]

Yeah. And then they look at and this is where they see the view, but they also see the pool. And Lexi's like, well, unfortunately, it's for owner's use only. She's like, okay, but I'm gonna need to use that. I would be like, you're. I was with Shay on this. Like, okay, so we can't use it and still have to pay over our budget to not use a pool. That's so obnoxious that you're not gonna let your tenants use your pool. Come on now.

[C]

Truly. In a vacation spot. That's crazy. So Shay's like, this girl's crazy. I'm not spend Alexis. Like, I'm not trying to start fight. But Nicole works from home. And having a view when you work from home. No, you should have the same view when you work from home as everybody who works in an office. A wall, okay? Anything else is a plus. Like, yeah, this girl doesn't get to demand shit just because she's going to be using the house 90% more than the other girl. That's not fair.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. You don't listen, when you're looking at your laptop, you're not looking at the ocean, okay? You don't need the view. The benefit is that you're in St. Thomas. That is what you get. You don't get. Look, I. I'm in Los Angeles right now. I'm in gorgeous, beautiful, sunny, fucking Los Angeles. And, you know, my view is right now nothing. All my windows are shut. That's because you don't need the view. And then when the work is done, then you go and you go out into the world and you unwind, but you don't need the view at that moment.

[C]

Yeah, she's being ridiculous. So mad.

[A]

I'm so mad that I'm actually arguing against the view right now.

[C]

Yeah, well, it's just because it's for Nicole, you know, it's like, well, I work from home, so I deserve a corner office. Like, that doesn't even make any sense sense. You know, Earn your view, Nicole. When you can afford it, you can get the view. Okay. Sucker.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Nor.

[A]

I think I would be arguing that if you're working from home, you deserve to have a beautiful, tranquil environment with, like, natural light and beautiful views. So you can sit back in your chair when you, like, when you look up from working on Excel, you can, like, take it all in. But for Nicole, I'm like, you get a cubicle and, like, off. That's all you get.

[C]

Like, boo.

[A]

You get no view. Put a blindfold on when you go to work.

[C]

If it was, say, we'd be like, all she wants is a view. She's so nice. So she has a ponytail. Give her something.

[A]

I do think, though, like, you have to make sacrifices. Okay? And, like, you. Like, you. I think Shay is totally right. The. The dream is that you get to live on the island. So you don't. You don't get to have the view right away. You have to work your way up to the view. And once you have enough money to have the view, then you can have the view. But you don't start. You just don't get to start at the top.

[C]

Yeah, so they like the bedrooms because they're a little Southerny. You know, they've got, like, wood beds and stuff. But there's also only one bathroom in this place, which is crazy for that.

[A]

Price, by the way. I love when Alexi said this. He's like, okay, everyone, so this is the master bedroom. There's a sitting area, so that gives you a lot of time to contemplate life and so on. Like, I don't know, contemplate like, these. I'm telling you one thing, One thing that Nicole is not going to do is sit in a chair and contemplate life that's just off the table. She's not coming.

[C]

Although we did drop the bagels bites reference, so who knows how long she's gonna try to work that out.

[A]

So, yeah, they like the bat the bedrooms and stuff and. And then they try to go into the bathroom at the same time and they get stuck in the doorway.

[C]

It's so wacky. And she's like, lottie, you're too fat, girl. I hope Lottie bites her face.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So then Nicole's like, this is my dream home. I just love the space and the view. But there's only one small bathroom, but still it's worth it. And she's like, oh, my God, please don't do this to me. I've sold a toaster. And she's like, but I want it.

[A]

I just want. I just hope you're willing to compromise a little bit on the budget for my dream. So then now the girls are walking tacky.

[C]

And your dream doesn't even have a pool. Dream higher.

[A]

So now they're walking on the beach to talk about things. And Nicole's like, I think we should go all in on the dream house. She's like, I think you're crazy, okay? I sold an entire box of tongue depressors. I don't know why I had it in the first place, but I sold it, okay? And I did not sell it to waste it all on that tacky ass big house. Yeah.

[C]

She's like, I'm not gonna get a second job so you can get your dream house. So they go walking on the beach, and Nicole's like, hey, there's a hammock. Will you take a picture of me on it? Oh, my God. Welcome to being friends with Nicole. This is all you're gonna do. The rest of your friendship is take pictures of Nicole doing things on the beach. And she's never gonna ask you to take a. A, like, selfie with her. It's always going to be like, look here, I'm posing in front of a statue of St. Thomas. Take my picture.

[A]

Well, it's very slim picking, Very slim picking out there for the entire island of St. Thomas is only five condos. So now they're. We're seeing, like, they have to make decisions. Okay, so Nicole's like, so what do you think about the blue house? And like, well, you got the vacation view. It's just like I can't tell which part is, like, flashback from earlier in the episode and which part is, like, actual contemplating.

[C]

But, yeah, it's not in this part because they're just talking amongst themselves.

[A]

Nicole is just, like, very, very picky about everything right now.

[C]

Yeah. And Nicole's like, but I'm concerned if our search is only about budget, I'm not going to find something I'm happy with. I mean, the view's better in the second house, but, like, I mean, seeing cruise ships and stuff, there's a place for me and Lottie to run around. She's like, oh, my God. Jesus.

[A]

Yeah, don't forget that she also claims the entire backyard for her dog. So then Nicole is like, well, by the way, okay, so the first, the dream house is off the table, but the gray house is only $100 over budget. That's not gonna kill you, right? Shay's like, I understand. It's not gonna kill me, but I have to pick up a third job, and I really don't want to do that. Great, so you'll pick up a third job and I'll hang around the house. That's great. I love that. Now we can do.

[C]

Also, I just wanted to mention that the backyard that she's so on about, this is the second house because they got rid of the first house because there's no way. So the second one, she's like, well, that has room for Lottie. Okay. But the only way to get to that backyard is through the bedroom that you want her to live in. So she's like, okay, I want you to live in the shittier bedroom. But then we'll have to go through it every morning when Lottie needs to go out every morning and every night. It's like, she's such an. So then Nicole's like, don't you think extra money is worth the beautiful view in the yard? I get to see crochet chips. And she's like, okay, so fine. Yeah, she's like, fine. Jesus.

[A]

House number two. So now we see three months later, and they're walking, and now there's another dog in the mix. So they're pretending like they are. They really enjoy each other. You can see that Shay can't stand her still. And she's like, I 100 think we did the right thing. But moving to St. Thomas and worrying about living family, you know, and leaving family and friends was a huge deal when we first left. But now I just. I just can't wait for everyone to come visit us, because it means that I have someone else to talk to other than Nicole. Please, someone help. Help me.

[C]

Yeah, she's like, we met completely randomly on our online. But, like, you know, I think it's great for the most part. And now, you know, we're going out and we're meeting friends and also some friends together, so that's nice. You know, she's just like, oh, my God. I've joined every club in town to get away from this girl, and it's kind of starting to work, so thank Jes. So she got the ultimate revenge on Nicole because she rescued a puppy for herself, which means complete mayhem in Nicole's life. And also, Lottie's old. So old dogs do not generally like puppies. And she even says they're not really getting along. And good for you getting one over on Nicole.

[A]

Yeah, but also, she just robbed Nicole of the dog card. Like, well, I have to do this because I've got a dog. I gotta have the yard because I got a dog. And Nishaya's like, no, no, I have a dog. I have the dog card, too. You don't have dog card privileges over me anymore.

[C]

Not only that, she has a cuter dog, so.

[A]

Oh, a cuter dog. And. And the gag is also on Nicole because Nicole's working from home, which means that Nicole has to walk the other dog while. While Shay is doing her jewelry.

[C]

Sucker. So it was a nice twist ending where Shay kind of gets one over on Nicole. I like it.

[A]

It was nice to ascending. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, we usually don't see that. You know, we usually see the squeaky wheel get the grease, and I like it. She's like, nope, I'm getting a better wheel for myself, bitch.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So, yeah, you go, girl.

[A]

Yeah. So fun episode. Thanks everyone for listening again. Send your recommendations to watchwalkrappinsmail.com with the subject header of Dwell. Hello, suggestion. And we will catch you in two weeks for the next duel. Hello. Thanks, everyone.

[C]

Bye, y'.

[A]

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[B]

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