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We all have bad days and sometimes bad weeks and maybe even bad years. But the good news is we don't have to figure out life all alone. I'm comedian Chris Duffy, host of ted's how to Be a Better Human podcast. And our show is about the little ways that you can improve your life. Actual practical tips that you can put into place that will make your day to day better. Whether it is setting boundaries at work or rethinking how you clean your house, each episode has conversations with experts who share tips on how to navigate life's ups and downs. Find how to be a better human wherever you're listening to this.
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Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong Ding ding ding ding ding dong. Hello.
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Well, hello and welcome to Dwell. Hello. A house hunters podcast. Here from the Watch what crappens. Guys. Ben and Ronnie. That's me, I'm Ben. That's Ronnie over there. What's going on, Ronnie? How are you?
C
Good. How's it going with you, baby?
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Going great. Excited to talk about this week's Dwell hello thing, which is Artist Wants it all in a Tiny Home, which was sent to us by Mary. Thanks, Mary, for the suggestion. This is house. You can find it on Max. It is house. I don't know what Household Hunters episode is it. Do you have the number of it?
C
I think it's just House hunters. It's season 163, episode 8, Artist Wants It all in a Tiny House.
A
There it is.
C
But I don't think it's like a tiny home because they do have the tiny house. House Hunters now. I don't think it's that. I think it's just a regular House Hunters.
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Regular House hunters. But if you just. If you do what I did, which is just type in Artist wants it all in a tiny house, it will come right on up on Max. So. So, yeah, so thanks for sending that in. If you have Dwell hello suggestions, as always, email us@watchforcrappens gmail.com and put dwell hello suggestion in your subject header. Otherwise there's a good chance we will miss it when we do a search.
C
So this is about an artist now? Always. I'm a little bit annoyed when people are like I'm an artist looking. I'll be the judge of that. How about you put a painting up and let us be the judge of whether you're or not. You're an artist, Bethany. Yeah, we don't really see any Bethany art, do we? We see her like painting some stripes onto something.
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Yeah. And we don't see any finished pieces. No, she's a very. She winds up being like a very stereotypical like LA region artist where she has a lot of feathers around and trinkets like kind of Burning man esque. Like she's someone who probably goes to Joshua Tree and sells items at farmers markets and things like that. You know, she's. She's one of those.
C
Yeah. Which is valid. But, you know, I just don't. I don't know how much. I don't know how much I'd need to trust Bethany's art, especially. Cause none of it is shown. So I guess I'm basically calling Bethany a lazy liar. That's how we're starting off.
A
Yeah. And I think that like you already feeling kind of exasperated by her is how many people in her life feel. And that's all personified by her friend Juhi, who has been roped into doing this show. And she clearly flew to Phoenix from probably, you know, like Silver Lake. And Julie hates everything about this. She hates looking for tiny homes, she hates being in Phoenix. She honestly may even hate Bethany. She just hates this entire concept. And she just knows she's gonna be the one who's gonna have to deal with all the fallout. You know, when Bethany calls and is like, you know what? I'm so sorry. It turns out the shower, the water pressure in my tiny home is just not good enough. Can I just like, shower at your place today? And Juhi's gonna have to be like, fine, I don't want Bethany to come over. But now I have to deal with Bethany because I went on this journey with her.
C
Or even worse, she's going to be because, you know, they had that conversation where she's like, I want to move into a tiny home. And Julie was like, an actual home. Or are you talking about like a trailer? No, it's not a trailer. It's a tiny home. It's a trailer, girl. You're going to move into a trailer? No, it's a tiny home. Is it on wheels?
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Yes.
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Does it attach to a truck? Yes, it's a trailer. Bitch, why are you calling this a tiny home? And then, you know, Bethany's going to show up at her house. Like, I got kicked off the last land I was on because it like, turns out it was like, I don't know, it belonged to natives. And so, like, now I need somewhere to stay. Can I stay in your backyard, Juhi?
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Bethany, she is a burden to society.
C
Yeah, Bethany's a fucking. Bethany's a burden. And you know, Juhi is like, yes, get a trailer. I'm gonna take off the wheels and leave you in the middle of Phoenix. Bye. You're not coming home with me.
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Bye. Goodbye. So Linda, the narrator, says in Phoenix, Arizona, traveling artist. I'm sorry, America, you couldn't see it, but I was doing air quotes. Bethany thinks she's going tiny, but everything that comes out of her stupid mouth screams otherwise. Yeah.
C
And we see her. We see her standing outside these trailers, and she's like, wow, this is like rustic and modern, girl. There's shaker on the outside. How are you calling this rustic and modern? What are you talking about?
A
I don't think those concepts totally go together and everything. She's like, I wish this had more windows. I wish there was another room. I wish there was, like, a second floor. So her best friend Juhi doesn't understand why she's going tiny or even why she's even friends with her in the first place. Because if she can't get what she wants, Bethany is a nightmare.
C
And Juhi's like, well, yeah, Bethany has a lot of clothes. They're all really ugly, and I don't know how she's gonna fit any of these. I mean, listen, you're gonna need closet space, especially for those clothes, preferably with a very thick door, because those are some ugly clothes.
A
Even the moths won't eat them. The moths come in and they say, you know what? We're just gonna try a different diet now. They leave. You've never seen moths leave clothing as fast as Bethany's wardrobe.
C
I literally searched for the Gail Simmons of moths, and even they wouldn't eat her clothes.
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So now here we are in Phoenix, Arizona, and. And Bethany is. She's painting stripes. She's painting stripes on a canvas. She goes, my Name's Bethany. I'm 27, originally from New York, but currently living in Arizona. And I've always loved painting because I was interested in bringing this joy to other people. Because I don't know if people know about this, but painting's a thing, and I kind of invented it. So I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna teach people that painting is a thing.
C
Yeah. And I'm gonna do it for low income communities without any access to arts funding because they're less judgmental because they haven't had arts funding. They don't know what this means. I could call this house Rustic Modern. What the fuck would they know? They don't know. So that's where I'm going.
A
This is so funny because it's actually a great mission, right? Providing, you know, for communities that don't have arts funding. That's great. But like, fast forward all the way to the end of the episode. She's like, yeah, I left Phoenix because I wanted to be by my friends in Los Angeles. So it's like, well, I understand that you don't have any fund for your arts programs, but I also don't have any friends. So what I'm trying to say is, enjoy your job at McDonald's.
C
Byee. Yeah. She's like, I'm going to teach poor people to paint stripes. It's going to be really exciting, you know? Oh God.
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I'm going to teach poor people to make stripes until I realize I have no dinner parties to go to. And then I'm going to go to la.
C
Well, not even la, because she ends up in Southern California. She doesn't say. She says, I missed la. But there's nowhere she's parking that thing in la. I couldn't place it. I was trying to place those. I mean, it did look like kind of an LA Canyon vibe. But where'd she get that fucking trailer up? I don't know. Yeah, I think she's. She's probably by the outlet mall that you see when you're on your way to Palm Springs.
A
She's in Cabazon. She's doing a day shift at like, the Morongo Casino. Bethany, stop painting the slide. The slot machines. Such a good theme song.
C
Damn it got that earworm into my head. The Morongo Casino. Casino Morongo. So she tells us. You know, I've been hopping around quite a bit. I just love traveling, you know, and I'll work remotely for the most part, painting stripes. I can paint stripes in any city, guys.
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What I do is I. I paint my computer screen and hopefully they see it on zoom. So that's how I get it done.
C
While she's been staying with friends. Air quotes again. In case you can't see me in Phoenix. She's ready for a place of her own, but it needs to be tiny and on wheels to suit her nomadic lifestyle. So, Bethany, do you have a car? No. How are you gonna get your tiny house around? I haven't thought of that. Idiot.
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Ju E. Hey, Juic, do you mind bringing your. Your Saturn over here? She's like, no, it's old and it's if you cause me. If lugging your tiny home causes the Saturn to die, just know there's no replacement. They don't make them anymore. So, Bethany.
C
Why are you friends with Bethany? Because she's the Saturn of people.
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She's no longer rolling off the conveyor belt, but kind of a fascination for a hipster. So Bethany says my budget is $90,000 and I'm looking for a tiny home that's anywhere from 200 square feet to 2,500 square feet. So.
C
You know, it doesn't have to be tiny to me. That's not what tiny means. Tiny doesn't mean tiny, girl. Tiny means tiny. Yes, it does.
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It's tiny. It's tiny. Just. No, it means living large. Because if I go tiny, I will have room in my life to do other amazing things. Except taking a bath or having a dinner party, lady. Well, aside from that. But, like, I don't have to worry so much about paying mortgage or rent.
C
There's a lot of stuff you've got what to do it.
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If I do need to do that stuff, Juhi will do it for me.
C
Yeah, Drew, he's like, damn it, I never should have gotten real job in this friendship. You know, I went through a time where this was what I was looking for. Do you remember?
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Yeah.
C
I really wanted to move out of my apartment in la. And I was like, the only way I'm going to be able to do this is by getting a tiny home. So I can get a tiny home and then I can find a little plot of land somewhere in la, because you can get like little slivers of land, you know, like unused pieces of land like in the hills or wherever you can find them, like at a decent price because they're just a sliver. But that's all you need for a tiny home. Oh, my God. So I really started doing the research. That's just not how it works. Even a sliver of land, you have to have the architect. You have to pay, like a city approved architect. You have to get all these permits, then you have to pay a ton of money in fees and all of this. I mean, it's just never easy. It's never easy. Trust me. I would be living in a tiny home right now. This was my dream.
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But also, like, what about electricity and plumbing? How does that work with a tiny home? If I guess I should say with.
C
A mobile tiny home, you have to get it. You would get it run over like everything else, but it wouldn't be as movable. As a home, because you'd have to run. You'd have to run lines and stuff like you were building a house. So it would still take years to get all that stuff done, you know, Unless you live in, like, a place where it's a tiny home neighborhood where like a RV park or something where they have all those hookups already.
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But I don't think I'd want to live in a tiny home neighborhood if I did the tiny home thing. I think I'd want to have, like, a little plot of land. It's kind of like just that movie with Will Ferrell, the documentary with Will Ferrell and his friend. I'm blanking on her name, Harper. Where she just, like, she's trans and she sort of wants to get away from the world. And so she got this random little house in the middle of, like, random, but fuck California. And she's like, this is just where I want to be. And I kind of feel like if I'm doing the tiny home thing and I'm getting a plot of land, I almost want the land to be big and the home to be small, you know? Right.
C
Yeah.
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I don't want to be with other tiny homes.
C
Yeah, yeah. You want to get a tiny home, but then build a huge patio and all this other stuff that. Yeah, you could hook up to that one day. Maybe I'll still do it. But then Ben reminded me, I'm big. And you didn't call me big, but you were like, your life is already bigger than a tiny home. Because even in my one bedroom apartment, I was like, okay, I'll just make a desk into a table that's also a bed. You're like, just get a house.
A
I came in with.
C
You were the doohy of that relationship. You were like Ronnie.
A
I came in with, like, Deborah Rush energy. I was like, oh, very nice. I was always very impressed with how Ronnie used to have this really teeny, tiny apartment. And I was always incredibly impressed with how you actually filled up that entire space and made it very livable, but also gave it, like, a lot of personality. It was always surprisingly, like, for as small as it was, it was not, like, uncomfortable. I didn't think. Yeah, I was very impressed with that.
C
Tiny homes. I'm still looking into it. Or like, metal homes. You know how that you can buy, like, metal shed homes. I'm into it.
A
What about a cage?
C
I'm still into the idea. What about a cage? How about a what? A bag?
A
A cage?
C
Yeah, I'm just gonna, like, decorate a.
A
Dog crate and live in that guys crates. The crates are the new tiny homes. So Bethany. Bethany is sitting across an outdoor communal table from. Of course she's at a communal table. She's not gonna her own single table. Got to save money and go to a communal table. So Bethany's like, I'm just so nervous no one's going to come visit me like you. She's like, yeah, that's because you live in a tiny home in Phoenix and no one wants to come to blazing hot heat to not be able to go inside because they can't fit where there might be and their air conditioning probably doesn't work anyway.
C
Yeah, girl. No one is paying for a plane ticket to come visit a tiny home.
A
There's no way.
C
Hey, do you want to live in a loft above the toilet across from me? No, I don't even for a day.
A
But it's in Phoenix where it's 120 degrees outside and 130 degrees inside. No.
C
Yeah, we never get a question about that. And that's the thing that I was most shocked about in this episode is she's like, I want a bathtub, I want a walk in closet. Like she's a dummy. But she never says, what about the air conditioning in this thing? How's that?
A
Yeah, because you know, it probably stinks in there. She probably doesn't even shower.
C
So.
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I'm just gonna say it right now.
C
So we find out about Bethany, she's like, I'm Bethany. I'm 27. Ben already said all of this. I need a home base. So then she needs a home of her of her own to suit her nomadic lifestyle. And I spell that G N O M E matic. Okay. Because she's basically one of those things in the garden that terrifying you just want to ignore.
A
Except it paints stripes, which is somehow worse. So Linda says joining Bethany on the hunt is her best friend Joohee, who is skeptical of all things tiny and all things Bethany and is not afraid to call Bethany out on her crazy ideas like patterns.
C
God, Bethany, that dress is ugly. Hey, it's my life choice.
A
Also, Juhi doesn't like Bethany.
C
Yeah, Juhi just stands there staring at the camera like, are you waiting for a response?
A
So she's like, yeah, Linda's just giving certain truths. She's like, I'll just say it. This friendship has a time limit.
C
And Juey's like, I'm pretty ruthless when it comes to saying what's on my mind. Watch this. Your web toes are disgusting. And no one's Ever gonna marry you. Isn't this fun? And she just takes it. It's an amazing friendship.
A
Bethany's like, yeah, I really don't get my feelings hurt, mainly because I'm fairly stoned most of the time. And it's just, like a perfect friendship. She can just be a raging bitch. And I just shrug and smile, knowing that my privilege is just gonna carry me to the next stop.
C
And Dewey's like, yeah, you know, she doesn't have any feeling anywhere. Hand me that pan, would you, Bethany?
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Bonk.
C
See, look. Bethany's like, what? Did you hit me? That was crazy.
A
You know what? I accept it, because that's art. That's her art. I paint stripes, and she hits me over the head with steel pans. Yeah.
C
Juhi's like, my art is evisceration, so, you know, I can do that remotely as well.
A
I want to know more about Juhi, because we see them at this coffee shop, and Bethany's doing something on her computer. Maybe she's doing her remote painting. But Juhi is, like, making a final cut move about Juhi. Did you notice that, like, there's, like, Juhi was, like, on screen on her final cut browser, and she was, like, editing. She's like, okay, well, I don't like Bethany, but this is gonna give me great exposure to my brand. America is about to meet Juhi, everyone. The Juhi experience has begun.
C
So Bethany's so excited about having her own space. You know, it's been a while. I haven't had a bed in years, girl. I've been traveling so much for work. No, you haven't. You're. I'm sorry. You have not been traveling a lot painting stripes. You just haven't. Prove it.
A
You haven't. You have not. You have not been traveling so much. Just stop acting like you work at McKinsey and you're going from one corporation to another consulting.
C
Okay, yeah, you're right. You know, you're only getting a tiny house because Juhi won't let you sleep on her futon anymore. We all know.
A
Yeah. So Bethany says, I would say my style is modern and rustic, but also brutalists, but also craftsmen. And then, you know, I would also. It's. It's arts and crafts as well, but it's beaux art. It's art nouveau. It's a little, you know, Georgian. I would say maybe, I don't know, neoclassical, all those things.
C
I can guarantee you she doesn't even know half of those words. This girl does not know those words. So it says, wish List modern rustic. We don't see one modern rustic place. And she calls them all modern rustic, which is hilarious.
A
So, you know, that's kind of rustic, I guess.
C
Beams. Well, I mean, I guess they can't. Those weren't rustic beams, though. They were very.
A
But you know, farmers use beams, so it's rustic.
C
So Chewy's like, well, you'll need large windows. And Bethany's like, oh, yeah. You know why I need large windows? Because windows let light in. Get the out of here, Bethany. I've never heard such a thing. God.
A
Yeah, Enjoy. Yeah, I'm sure that'll work out really well with the blazing Phoenix sun, having all that light in your house. Also, Bethany has this. She has this insight. She goes, it's really important that my tiny home feels like a home, but doesn't feel tiny, even though it's technically a tiny home. You could also just not get a tiny home. How about that? Here's an idea. Just get a home if you don't want it to be tiny.
C
Yeah. Oh, bless her heart. So she also wants a first floor bedroom, which sounds cray cray. I think she's thinking of a trailer. Like a. Not a trailer, mobile home.
A
You know, she needs like a tour bus. I think that's actually what she's looking for, with a bed in the back, kitchen out in the middle. You know, she's like, yeah, I want like a first floor bedroom. You know, she's like, okay, first floor, but she wants windows and bedroom and rustic. Okay, that's all right. We'll see what we can do. And she's like, no, there's more. I also need a large closet. Ideally, walk in maybe two of those. And also I. It's really important for me to have a. A bathtub, a tub. A tub.
C
She wants a tub. So Julie's like a tub in a tiny house. And she's like, yeah, I mean, that makes it feel like a home, you know, I mean, I remember being young and my mom would run a nice bath, and then she'd say, I could have been something. And then she would just hold me under the water. Oh, gosh, that was so fun.
A
What a great moment that was. Yeah, Yeah.
C
I would see a light and I would start crawling towards it. And then she'd drag me back and say, I'm not going to jail for you, you little bitch. So that was so. I just want to relive those memories with the tab.
A
So now Julia starts to troll her. She's like, oh, well, you also need space for Your painting and probably a big place to cook. So you need probably a nice, open concept kitchen. She's like, that's true. I do need those things. So space for painting and a big kitchen. Thank you.
C
You know what? You should get a sewing room. That's what you need. Or a gift wrapping room. You should have that too. Oh, my God. You know what? Bethany loves ice skating rinks. Could you put an ice skating rink in one of these?
A
Thank you for reminding me of that. That's true. I'm gonna put that on the list. So Juhi's like, I definitely think that Bethany will have to ad lot of things on her wish list. Too bad her personality can't be one of them, because I feel like she's just, like, asking for, like, a lot of space in her tiny room. And Bethany says, I mean, I do. I want it all. Like, why not have it all if possible? Because you're getting a tiny home. Yeah, that's in the name.
C
Well, Bethany is working with several Phoenix builders to see if any of them are up to the task. So let's meet some builders.
A
Sucker.
C
So this one, we don't see a realtor person. We just get juhi, which is kind of cool. And then we meet a lot of the local builders. And these local built. These tiny home builders are hilarious because they just look at her like she's crazy. So the first one is Elizabeth singleton, and she's showing her a modern option. Now, this was the one, I believe, that had shaker on the outside. Right. And they're like, look, I think so. Classic, modern design. Wow.
A
This is like a Frank lloyd wright. So Elizabeth is like, well, here it is. This is our largest model. It's 272 square feet, but not including the lofts. So that's an extra half a foot of space that you're getting. Enjoy.
C
Yeah, this one's big. It's nice. The outside's ugly, but you can make it cuter, you know, because you have a designer there and it's only 79, 500. And she wants to. Her budget is 90,000, so they love that. It's like, almost 11 grand under budget. So Bethany's like, oh, my God. Modern rustic. Am I right?
A
They're like, it's really very modern rustic. And I almost want to say it's rustic modern, but it's really more modern rustic, you know? Juhi's like, well, what do you think about those windows in here? That's nice. She's like, well, I love the quantities. I kind of Wish they were larger. I kind of wish there were larger windows. I also wish there was, like, a TV room. Do you think that, like, maybe there might be a TV room in here somewhere? I just. It would be nice.
C
A screening room. I would love some movie theater seats. That would be great. And they're like, no. And Elizabeth's like, there are 13 windows, but they're all tiny. Guess why? Because this has to go on the road, okay? So you don't get to just have a big wall of glass. This has to be road tested, you idiot. And she's like, wow. Oh, my God. This feels huge. I mean, the way I can touch one wall and then touch the other wall and then touch the other wall and then touch the other wall. Mansion. I've arrived.
A
I have. I am living large. So inside, there's, like, a narrow staircase that goes up to the loft. It's very narrow. But then it also has, like, storage underneath it, which is really cool. And then there's a kitchen. There's actually a pretty large kitchen, considering. But the look of the kitchen is kind of dated. It's kind of like a 90s or maybe a 2000s kitchen with, like, a lot of kind of like. Is that like, cherry wood or whatever? Like that sort of brown, red wood with, like, a granite. Faux granite countertop. So not the most beautiful kitchen, but also, like, you're getting a tiny home. I would just be happy with just having a kitchen. Anything.
C
You're like, wow. Yeah, there's something. I think it's actually nice. I don't like the finishes either, but, you know, since it's with a builder, they build it especially for you, so you pick all your finishes. You know, she could pick nicer finishes.
A
I kind of figured.
C
I like how that the stairs were all the way to the side, and then they had storage. There wasn't a railing, but I wouldn't mind if Bethany fell. So, like, I'm fine with that. But it was nice. It was nicely designed how the stairs were all the way to the side, because there was one where the stairs made an L, and then they came out into the middle of the house, which I thought was really weird.
A
We'll get to that. We'll get to that. We'll get to that. So, yeah, so she wants more windows. And Elizabeth is like, yeah, you can customize this, and you can actually add in more windows. So Bethany realized that there is a lot of space, and she's like, oh, look, I can use this as a studio. I can just set up a canvas Here and just paint. And I can also dine here. I could dine on the paint. I could eat paint. I could eat paint all day long in here.
C
Yeah. This is weird because she wants to set up an art studio, but she never once noticed. She never once says, where do I store all my canvases when I'm done with them?
A
Never.
C
Or like, where do I put the art? There's no wall space.
A
I also feel like if it were me, I would just be less concerned about setting up studio space. I would just like rent a studio. You're saving all this money on a mortgage, so just rent studio space in whichever community you're in or just like do it outside. So there's storage, which is good. And then they, they open up this, this actually there's this really nice wooden door that they've made some sort of like pattern on it that I liked. And you open it up and there is a first floor bedroom. And it's kind of like, you know, it's not a big bedroom obviously, but it's like a bedroom. You know, it's. We've definitely stayed in some hotel rooms that have been about the size of that bedroom. So, you know, not crazy.
C
Yeah. So there's a first four, first floor bedroom and then there's also a washer dryer combo thing, you know, like this one machine. And she goes, yeah, I don't need a washer or dryer. I don't need laundry. And they're like, who doesn't need laundry? That's like the most important part of everyone who goes looking for a house is like, where's the laundry room? Nobody wants a house with no laundry. I'm sorry. Yeah, like I've, I did it for years. This is the first time I've ever had a washer dryer. And it's now that I've had it, I will never go back. Like, going to the. Who wants to go to the laundromat girl? I did that for every week of my adult life. I. Who wants that? I cannot believe someone actually said, no, I don't want a washer dryer. Can we make it where there's no washer dryer unit? Who the says that? That's absolutely nuts. And the lady goes, well, there is a washboard up there you could use because for the decoration there's like an old timey washboard up there. She goes, yeah, I'll just do that.
A
Great. So they're in this room, this bedroom, and Elizabeth is saying, like, well, this way you can still live In a little bit of luxury while having that bed. You know, that's what the bedroom is good for. A little bit of luxury. This is not a little bit of luxury. This is zero luxury. You can't even. Yes, it's more luxurious versus being, like, sleeping with your face touching your nose touching the ceiling in a loft. But this is not luxury. Is a sliding scale.
C
Yeah. And she hates that there's no bath, which I think is hilarious. And so they discuss the pros and cons, and she's like, it's so big. Oh, my God. It has a big kitchen. But the kitchen felt dark. It needs more windows. Yeah.
A
She doesn't like the surfaces or anything, even though it is a. Is a good. Like, you know, there's, like, good options there. So. So now they. Now they move on to the next house. So the next house is the biggest one that they see, and it's. It's very large, but it was my least favorite of the three of them. I'll just say that right now.
C
So. Okay, so Bethany is going tiny in Arizona to suit a nomadic lifestyle, but she's not willing to sacrifice creature comfor. Can she make it on $90,000? Let's meet up with local builder Nathan Wallace. So they come to this little, blue, tiny home, and it has all this patio furniture and stuff. And this one's 394 square feet, which is like a mansion. It's huge.
A
And it has French doors, and so it looks big. It looks wonderful. Well, it doesn't look wonderful from the outside. Looks just looks like a box, you know, but they go inside. And so this is the one where there are two lofts. And the two lofts have this big, chunky staircases, and they both. The staircases come just, like, right into the middle of the. Of the living area. And then not only do they come down in there, they sort of jut forward, and then in between the staircases is a cute little, like, banquette or whatever. So you can sit and have, like, your meal, but there's no usable space in that center area because the staircases take up so much space. I hated it. Yeah.
C
This is absolutely stupid design. I can't believe they did it like that. And she goes, well, I love that there's an office space below the stairs, because they shoved, like, a little table in there. But you're not an office worker. You're a painter. Why would you need a little cubbyhole under a stair? Come on.
A
There's, like, no place to sit. There's, like, no room to sit except for your little like banquette. Now it has like a kitchen that's like. It has a pretty large kitchen for a tiny home. So that's I think is like the big like value thing that they have. It's the first floor is basically like kitchen and bathroom. Big bathroom, big kitchen. I guess they're really banking on the fact that like whoever's gonna stay here is gonna be interested in like the, the eating and bathing aspects of it. And any kind of like lounging is going to be outside. Like maybe set up a chair outside. But there's no place where you can put your feet up here.
C
And this one is basically, this bathroom is all shower. This is a big shower. Which most people would be like, wow, you get a nice big shower for a tiny home. But she's like, ew, oh my God, there's no tub. Why would I need a huge shower? I mean, what am I going to have 10 people in here? And Joohee's like, that would be weird. I like that Judy's even sex shaming this girl. Like, come on man, can she like have some fun?
A
The girl, she was shaming her. She wasn't sex jamming her. Juvie was saying it was. It'd be weird to conceptualize Bethany ever showering. I can't imagine you actually letting that water touch her skin.
C
I know she's like, I'm around you and I can't even get you to shower. How do you think you're gonna get 10 people to shower?
A
And then this one also, this one has a washer and dryer and it's take. And they're basically like, well, this one we could rip out that washer and dryer and put a closet there instead. Because there's no closet space anywhere. So they're like, okay, well what if we turn the washer and dryer into a closet? It's like, yeah, but.
C
You have to.
A
Do the laundromat thing. Yeah.
C
I don't understand how you build a tiny home with no closets. That's crazy. And they have those stairs jutting out anywhere. And those stairs are not storage or anything.
A
I mean this is just big ass stairs.
C
It was stupid design.
A
And why are the stairs have to be so chunky like that? Why can't they do like Carol Radzwell stairs which are just kind of like slats that you just go down. Right. Like floating stuff, you know?
C
Or do like the first house and make them all storage, you know, that leads up to.
A
Yeah, yeah. Not so big and chunky they're so mad. Or just put a ladder. Honestly, I don't understand why. Why there's even a staircase in the first place.
C
Yeah, so my. My bathroom in Brooklyn. Well, I lived above the bathroom in Brooklyn in this like 8 foot cubby hole that you couldn't stand up in. So it just had like a twin mattress. And then my 14 track recording Tascam thing that I would do. And I had like one of those little office chairs that you kneel on because an office chair couldn't fit in there. And I had a ladder, like an. A frame ladder that I had to go up to that thing. Oh, my God. Zena was terrified. My dog Zena at the time would be like, oh, Jesus, it's time for bed. Oh, God. And then she would just hang her head off the loft, like, please, somebody.
A
Come save me, please, would you. You carried her up there? Is that. How did. Yeah, it just was. Yeah, that's. Yeah. I can't imagine that. That sounds crazy. So. So Juvia's, by the way, Juvie is so visibly disgusted. Like, she was already like. So, like, you can see she hated just going into one tiny home. And then by the time they get to this one, she's like, do we. Do we have to see three? I don't even know. Like, this one's just terrible for me. And they go up to the. They go up to the loft, the sleeping quarters, which they take one of these staircases. And Bethany is like, well, I guess it's what you'd expect from a loft, I guess. Julie's like, it's terrible. You can't bang anyone up here. She's like, no, but you can paint stripes in bed and you can sort of sit up while you do it. She's like, no, no, no, no, this is bad.
C
Jui's like, oh, by the way, there's one feature I would love in a bed. Do you have like a special space where someone could just come in and kill me right now? I hate this.
A
She's like, well, let's see. I. I should be more positive because I'm on TV and I'm trying to sell my little juhi videos, so. Oh, I like that. There's two very small windows up here, so that's great. I guess that makes up for all the no space you have.
C
Yeah. Bethany's like, oh, yeah, there's windows. We can put nightstands up here. I could put a headboard. Girl, you cannot put any of those things in here. And Julie's like, there's not even a bar here. You're gonna fall off. And so they joke about falling off and stuff. And then Bethany's like, you think everything's dangerous. Juhi. God, you remember that time I said, hey, let's go to Amsterdam and just sleep on the street by the river? You thought it was going to be dangerous. You're crazy.
A
Oh, my God, look, there's such an adorable scorpion over there. Let's pet it. Oh, my God.
C
Bethany.
A
So the issue. One of the issues with this thing is that Bethany can't paint in this tiny house because the living room area, there's no room to do anything because it's all staircase. It's nothing but staircase. It's so annoying. So she can't paint, which is probably for the best, because does she really need to be in a tiny home with paint fumes? I don't think so.
C
Yeah. And now this is the biggest place. But because of how it's laid out, it's also the smallest place. So they're like, nope, this is probably a no. So now they find a place to drink coffee. But Bethany has brought her coffee mug from home, which I think is very Bethany. She's like, can I have a cappuccino? But can I have it cheaper if you do it in this mug?
A
Thanks. You know, can I say something? I'm using. So our lovely editor, Christina, she got me a. She got me a gift certificate to Blue Bottle, and I bought a blue bottle plastic cup. And I'm showing it to you, Ronnie, because we're not actually on video, but it's a refillable cup. And so what I do is I bring it to Blue Bottle, and I'm like, this is fun. I've never done the. The reusable cup thing. And I have so much fun every time I do it. But every time I do it, I also am so aware that everyone in the store is looking at me like, look at this fucking douchebag with this reusable blue bottle cup.
C
Look at me. I'm saving the earth.
A
Look at me. I just come here so often, I just have to get my own.
C
Actually, I'm using one today. A reusable cup. That's like one of those thermos type cups.
A
Yeah.
C
That was given to us by Ouse of Brooker. And it's a Salt Lake City. It has all the. From the season of Monica. Don't come after my bathtub. You look like a trampoline with eyes.
A
So good.
C
Yeah.
A
Arizona artist and free spirit. Bethany is going tiny. So I Guess she can spend more on premium coffee. Oh, wow. Think you're saving a lot of money with your from home mug? Stupid idiot. Anyway, now she can travel the country and take her place with her. She and best friend Juhi have seen several options under $90,000, but they lack the luxuries that Bethany is after. Because Bethany's dumb, she thinks that she can get luxury in a tiny home. So today they're trying again with builder heron Michaelis.
C
Yeah. So Aaron's like, here she is. And here we go. This one's nice. Now this one's a nice. Nicest one, I think. This one is really cool on the outside. They put, like, cedar on the outside. And this one's only 250 square feet. So this is the smallest, Right. But they have built a roof deck on it. And the roof deck is collapsible, so when you travel, it's easy to just fold it down. So I thought this one was really nice.
A
Yeah. So, like, the roof, what's cool is that you can just pack up those. You can pack up the railings, and that way you can just hit the road after. You also find someplace for all the rugs and pillows you put up there if you're Bethany. So, yeah, this one was the nicest in terms of the vibe inside. This one had a lot of windows. It was very light, very airy. And it. What I liked is that when you walked in, it was just open right there. Like, there was. You could sort of do what you wanted with that space. So I was optimistic at first.
C
Yeah, I like this one. And they're like, oh, my God, let's go check out the view. So they go up there, but it's. It's wherever they're selling it is right by the freeway, and it's just like, a shit view.
A
It's shitty. Juhi won't even go up there. She's like, no, I'm. I'm. I'm afraid of heights. I guess I'll just say that I don't want to go up any staircase. I don't go up a ladder.
C
And Bethany's like, but look, it's so stable, like pulling on the bars and stuff. Julie's like, please die. So we see this. And then she loves. This one is the one with beams that you mentioned. This one is kind of a modern place. This one is, I think, what she's asking for. And does this one have a tub?
A
Yeah, this one was designed, like, with a sense of style, actually. Like, they actually. I feel like they put Thought into really how to use it as a living space. Not like, here's where we can put things.
C
Except for this part. They. Well, they do have a tub, which is really cool. I never thought you could get a tub in a place like this. And it's a nice tub. Like, it's a glamorous kind of tub. But then they have kind of a step up, like a step down living room, right? And then. So you use the above part for whatever. But then the bottom part, you pull out all the drawers, but you pull them out into the living room. So you can't actually have any storage in there. I mean, you can't have any chairs in there because you couldn't get to the storage.
A
Yeah, well, it seemed like a really cool idea. I was like, oh, look, this is great storage. And then Joohee's like, hey, idiot, every time you want to get into your storage, you have to move your sofa. And I don't think you want to do that. Can I fucking eat this, girl?
C
But I mean, it truly is stupid. I was like, who would design that? That's what I was in space that you can't put furniture because the drawers will hit the. My God.
A
That's when I started to say, oh, this place is like, looks nice at first, but has a lot of functional issues. So I started to be like, I'm not sure. I started to go back. House number one started to, like, become more appetizing to me.
C
And the only storage they had was this kind of closet thing. It's not even a closet, but it's like a. A banister that divides the kitchen from the rest of the house. But it doesn't even go to the top of the ceiling. It's like banister level. And they're like, okay, could put some clothes in there. Girl, you can't even put a hanger in there.
A
Come on. There's also, like, no shelves. There's no cabinets from the kitchen, even though there's lots of bare walls. I just didn't put anything in there. So there's no place to put, you know, plates and things like that. Like, storage. There's no kitchen storage. The closet is really thin. And then when they. Juhi tells us if Bethany wants to buy this house, she has to donate all of her clothes to go over budget or go over budget because she'll need that. Okay? And let me tell you something. No thrift shop wants Beth in his clothes, okay? Unless you want to watch a bunch of silky, flimsy rags.
C
Truly. And also the bathroom Is this shape like from Aladdin?
A
The movie Aladdin Moroccan or like. Yeah, like Moroccan with the Arabian. It's actually more of Arabian, like, doorway. That's sort of like. It's a curve. I don't know how you describe that curvature at the top of the door frame, but it's sort of like.
C
It was definitely a Moroccan restaurant. You know, like, that would be like an archway that you go through, which is, I guess, nice for its style, but not for this house. Like, what are you doing now? Why are you making this suddenly a Moroccan house? When you walk through to the bathroom.
A
It'S weird, this random design choice, but that has, like, a wood door that slides through it. So that's like, okay. I mean, sure. It wouldn't make me not buy the house. It's just a curiosity, you know?
C
Yeah. It's just odd with the styling. So then Bethany's like, oh, my gosh. I mean, I don't like that there's beautiful tiles in the kitchen, because I really wanted to go make it my own. Bethany, they're builders. Just pick different tiles. Like, how many times do we have to tell you, girl? They're builders.
A
Yeah. Or you can paint over it. You could do it. Be creative. So then they go up to the loft, and the loft has, like, a really low ceiling. And they're basically like. Her concern is that once she gets a mattress in there, like, will she even have any room? She can't even sit up in there. Which I. That was also. I thought that could be a problem. Like the. Given that the lots are always gonna have a low ceiling. This is a really low ceiling. Unless she does something really bohemian, like skips a mattress and just puts down like. Like 2 inch mats or something like that, which I can totally see her doing.
C
I could see her doing that too. But she says, yeah, I'm a big sitter in the bed. I don't sit in my bed. Do you?
A
Oh, I love sitting in my bed. But, you know, I don't sit in as much.
C
But I don't. I have one of those adjustable beds, so you can, like, zoom it up like a hospital bed. And I'll do that if my back hurts or something or if I'm watching tv. But I mean, I don't even know that I would consider that sitting. But I don't, like, ever just sit in my bed.
A
I don't sit on my bed as much anymore because since we have a town home and it's like, so there's like. It's. Because it's town home. It's like three stories. And so to sit on your bed means you're all the way at the top for us. And then that means like, oh, if anything, anytime you need anything, you have to go all the way down the staircase and go all the way back up a staircase. So I pretty much like, once the day starts, I'm pretty much hanging out on the sofa. But I do, I do enjoy retiring up to the bedroom. And I do have days where I just, I do sit on the bed. But what I have is I have like a big. I got a big pillow from Target like 15 or 20 years ago. Actually, it's from Kmart. Now that I think about it, it was from Kmart. It's that old. And I just have a big old Euro sham on it and I just sort of. I prop it up behind me and I sit up and I, you know, get to work on the laptop or watching TV or something.
C
It's great. So you're a bedsitter. They do exist.
A
Yeah.
C
I'm a bed liar. If I'm in bed, I'm lying. I have five pillows. One is a body pillow on one side of me. Then the other is a shorter. It's like a king size pillow. So not as long because Bueller needs somewhere to cuddle below that. And then I have two above where I can rest my arms when I'm cuddling on my side, you know, and then one just put behind my head.
A
Wow, you have a whole. It's a whole infrastructure in there.
C
Yeah.
A
So Bethany says, you know, I'm a bit concerned about the loft area. I did want a ground floor bedroom and it just would be impossible to wake up and not hit my head in the morning when a mattress is up there. So like you want a ground floor bedroom, a tub on the ground floor and a kitchen and a place to paint all on the ground floor. Yeah, sure.
C
Well, I've got a delivery for you. And open it up. It's disappointment because you're not getting all that. So we go through all the houses. They're trying to decide and Juhi is just like, please get better taste. Like, just get a better goal in life, you know. So they end up picking.
A
I love that like house number one was like, we had some practical thing. Like I forgot that. The way they said it was like house number one has like, like good layout. House number two has big kitchen. House number three, bathtub. She's like, well, it's gonna be the bathtub. The bathtub is gonna win.
C
She Picked the bathtub. I don't think this was the most practical, but it was the best looking. And it had a roof deck, which I think would be the most important part. And she smartened up. She's like, I don't care if I can't get to my storage, I'll get hanging chairs. So now she just has these kind of swing chairs.
A
She did an amazing job. She did such a good job that I think that they actually, like, they shortened the deliberations. That way they could spend more time showing what she did because she had swinging chairs, which meant that the storage up, as you said, she built a little banquet, which looked really cute. She made her roof deck look really cute. She built in these cool shelves in the kitchen with like piping underneath it that was like kind of rustic. I loved her decorations. It seemed very her. And at the end of the day, I mean, I do feel like this was a nice one. And I think she made the right choice and she made it look really cute. And I kind of felt like, you know what, Bethany. I think Bethany knew what she was doing.
C
I think Bethany did a good job on this too. And I did not believe in Bethany. But she does say she's like, you know, everything's possible. I got a full size kitchen. I mean, I have everything I need here. And I'm in Southern California because fuck Phoenix.
A
Yeah. So she made it all work and it looked great. So I was impressed. It was a good job.
C
So it was too. Yeah, I was like, kind of reignited my want of a time tiny home.
A
I was like, it looked really good and like, I thought. I thought house number one was gonna be the one she was ultimately gonna take because yes, even though the kitchen was kind of dreary, it did, it did have space and it had windows and it had a first floor bedroom and everything. But I really didn't think that living situation was. She was gonna be able to deal with it. But it just looks so cute in there when she was done with it. I can't believe it.
C
I agree. Good job, Bethany.
A
You're weirdo, Bethany. They would take it all back. Yeah.
C
I take nothing back, but good job in the end.
A
Thanks everyone for being here. If you have a suggestion, go email us@watchmcrapponsmail.com Dwell. Hello. Suggestions should be your subject and just say what it is. Also make sure it's not behind a paywall. Make sure it's something that we can easily find on YouTube.
C
Usually on Max.
A
The easiest.
C
Yeah, Max is the easiest.
A
And we'll catch you on the next one. Bye, everyone.
C
Bye.
A
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We all have bad days and sometimes bad weeks, and maybe even bad years. But the good news is we don't have to figure out life all alone. I'm comedian Chris Duffy, host of ted's how to Be a Better Human podcast, and our show is about the little ways that you can improve your life. Actual practical tips that you can put into place that will make your day to day better. Whether it is setting boundaries at work or rethinking how you clean your house, each episode has conversations with experts who share tips on how to navigate life's ups and downs. Find how to be a better human wherever you're listening to this.
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Acast.
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Com.
Date: March 27, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Episode Theme:
A comedic recap and sharp critique of the House Hunters episode “Artist Wants It All in a Tiny House” (S163E8), focusing on Bethany, a self-described artist on a quest for a “tiny” home in Phoenix, accompanied by her best friend Juhi. Ben and Ronnie dissect Bethany’s lofty wish list, questionable art credentials, and her complicated friendship dynamic — all with their signature wit and Bravo-infused banter.
Ben and Ronnie recap and roast a House Hunters episode where Bethany, an eccentric “artist,” enlists her skeptical friend Juhi to find a tiny home that feels anything but tiny. The hosts lampoon Bethany’s ever-expanding demands, dubious career claims, and the realities of tiny living, all while drawing hilarious parallels to their own lives, friendship dynamics, and the absurdity of HGTV expectations.
"Because you’re getting a tiny home. Yeah. That’s in the name." (Ronnie, 20:45)
“Bethany, do you have a car? No. How are you gonna get your tiny house around? I haven’t thought of that. Idiot.” (Ben, 09:03)
“Too bad her personality can’t be on her wish list.” (Juhi via Ben, 20:22)
(A) House #1 with Elizabeth Singleton – ‘Modern Rustic’ (21:21)
“Who doesn’t need laundry?...That’s absolutely nuts.” (Ronnie, 25:05)
(B) House #2 with Nathan Wallace – ‘Chunky Stairs’ (27:11)
“This is just big-ass stairs.” (Ronnie, 30:06) “It’s the biggest place, but because of how it’s laid out, it’s also the smallest place.” (Ben, 33:10)
(C) House #3 with Herron Michaelis – ‘Cedar and the Tub’ (34:55)
“Who would design that? Space you can’t put furniture because the drawers will hit… My god.” (Ronnie, 37:17) “The closet is really thin… No thrift shop wants Bethany’s clothes, okay?” (Ben, 37:55)
“I'm pretty ruthless when it comes to saying what's on my mind. Watch this. Your webbed toes are disgusting. And no one's ever gonna marry you. Isn't this fun?” (Ronnie, channeling Juhi, 15:41)
A quintessential Watch What Crappens episode: biting, hilarious, and sneakily insightful about both reality TV and real-life dreams. It’s one of those episodes that makes you question—and cherish—the definition of “home,” all while laughing at people (and maybe yourself) for pursuing the impossible.
Listen to “Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello #507: Artist Wants It All In a Tiny House” for the full roast, witty banter, and design disaster details.