Dwell Hello #508: Fairy Tale In Germany

Summary

Watch What Crappens: Dwell Hello #508 – “Fairy Tale In Germany” (House Hunters International S152E5)

Release Date: April 10, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Dwell Hello, Ben and Ronnie recap the House Hunters International episode "Fairy Tale In Germany" (Season 152, Episode 5). The hosts bring their signature wit as they dissect the story of Yasmin (an American) and T (a native German) relocating from New York City to the Black Forest region of Germany. From culture shock to mother-in-law drama, suspiciously cozy “cozy corners,” and the star power of a tiny, photogenic dog, Ben and Ronnie praise, roast, and psychoanalyze every odd and end of the house hunt—and of relationships themselves.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: The Black Forest and German Whimsy

• Ben and Ronnie both swoon over the picturesque settings:
  • “What a gorgeous episode to look at. My God.” (Ben, 02:32)
  • Ronnie reminisces about his own Rhine river cruise, emphasizing how much more time he wishes he’d had to soak it all in.
• The hosts discuss how Americans glamourize the countryside, only to gripe about real-life annoyances like mosquitoes and boredom:
  • “People are always so enchanted by the country for about 10 minutes.” (Ben, 05:10)

2. Meet Yasmin & T: Cultural Transplants and Lesbian Newlyweds

• Yasmin is leaving NYC with her wife, T, to start their first real home together in rural Germany.
• Cultural and language barriers are front and center:
  • “At the very least, there’s just the translation thing, because the mom doesn’t speak any English, and Yasmine can say like, ‘Deutsch.’ ” (Ronnie, 06:17)
• Hilarious speculation about how Yasmin might not actually understand T’s mom (“You only like her because you don’t know what she’s saying.” – Ben, 06:44)

3. Family & Marriage Friction

• Ronnie puts on his relationship therapist hat, warning that T's desire for distance from her mom conflicts with Yasmin’s “dreamer” optimism:
  • “Your marriage is over. I’m telling you that right now, so don’t even try this shit.” (Ben, 05:47)
• The hosts riff on German bluntness and explore culture shocks both partners experience, especially around emotional openness.

4. The Comic Star: Miko the Dog

• Miko, the couple’s dog, is unanimously crowned the breakout star:
  • “This dog is the star of the show. As far as [I’m] concerned, this was the cutest damn dog.” (Ben, 03:31)
  • Observations about Miko’s ability to instantly settle in anywhere add levity and play into the hosts’ house-choosing theories (27:42).

5. Relocation Motivations: Reality vs. Fantasy

• Ben and Ronnie poke fun at the real reasons Americans move to Europe—often for health insurance over “the dream” (13:25).
• Yasmin’s wide-eyed delight is contrasted against practical concerns, with the hosts questioning how long the “fairy tale” will last.

6. House Hunting Hijinks & Real Estate Revelations

• The show’s featured realtor, “Superstar” Kevin Bruga, gets Crappens acclaim for his nonchalant, even sassy, approach:
  • “He’s like, well, I think it might be easier if we were closer to Stuttgart city, you know, or as I call it, not by my mom.” (Ben, 20:59)
  • “Unfortunately, I don’t get paid by the amount of disappointment I produce.” (Ronnie, 44:19)
• Three properties are toured:
  • Option 1: One-bedroom near T’s family—too close for T’s comfort, view of the street, Miko makes himself at home (26:32).
  • Option 2: Two-bedroom, beautiful backyard and pond, hillside views, but an hour from family and over budget; hosts’ clear favorite (36:33).
  • Option 3: Compact studio halfway between town and city—quickly written off as “an auto no” (44:00).

7. Notable Relationship & Personality Analysis

• The hosts are convinced of underlying tension in the couple, masked by Yasmin’s relentless positivity and T’s desire for space:
  • “From what we get for the whole episode, Yasmin’s crazy. She’s one of those people that’s like really self-helpy and really smiling… but the minute she’s in a mood, it’s like, you.” (Ben, 21:45)
  • Ronnie repeatedly questions how long the marriage, or its proximity to T’s family, can last.

8. Memorable Culture Clash Bits

• Banter about Germany’s obsession with bells:
  • “If you were to go 30 minutes without bells, you’re doing something wrong.” (Ronnie, 18:24)
• Cornfield epiphanies:
  • “Now I’m opening it and there’s like legit real corn inside. Are you kidding me? …I thought it’d be like a Cadbury cream egg or just be like a nice sugary filling. But there’s literally corn in here.” (T’s Mom, 41:33)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On the Black Forest setting:
  “This is like the forest. This is the woods. When you go into it, this is the woods. It’s so, like, this is what the Brothers Grimm are making the stories about.”
  — Ronnie, 08:03

• Cultural frustration with in-laws:
  “If you ever took my mom’s side, you’re… we’re done for. I’m telling you that right now. And also guess why you like my mom. Because you don’t know what the [she’s] saying.”
  — Ben, 06:44

• Immigrant motives, blunt truth:
  “Isn’t this every American moving to Europe where we’re just like, I moved here because I have insurance.”
  — Ben, 13:25

• The star of the show:
  “Miko is like the fiancé of dogs. Like, Miko finds the wind and finds the light. Like every single shot, there’s, like, a beautiful golden hue on Miko.”
  — Ronnie, 23:15

• Trademark Crappens shade:
  “This is not gonna work out. Like, there was no reason not to take this perfect apartment. And they went with the one that was, like, on the first floor where the window looks out onto, like, a main street… right by the mom that [T] doesn’t want to be around.”
  — Ronnie, 45:49

• Realtor snark rare for House Hunters:
  “Unfortunately, I don’t get paid by the amount of disappointment I produce, but I can imagine that they will like the bathroom.”
  — Kevin, relayed by Ronnie, 44:19

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Breakdown of Key Segments with Timestamps

01:19 – 04:41:

Intro to Dwell Hello and House Hunters International, Black Forest nostalgia, opening thoughts on Germany’s beauty.

06:17 – 08:45:

Language barriers with T’s mom; discussion of German literalness and communication woes.

13:25 – 16:14:

Yasmin’s (and every American’s) real reasons for moving, German healthcare as a “plus,” struggles with family closeness.

17:48 – 20:38:

Superstar Kevin enters; Germany’s obsession with organic fairy tales, bells, and the cultural navigation.

26:32 – 31:03:

Touring the first apartment; Miko’s suspicious comfort; T’s critique of darkness and location.

36:33 – 40:01:

Second house tour, which both hosts agree is obviously superior, but Yasmin expresses “off vibes”; cozy corner chaos.

44:00 – 44:56:

The (auto-)rejected studio, Kevin’s open realtor snark, hosts’ disbelief at property options.

45:22 – 46:46:

Decision time: Yasmin and T pick the least favorite apartment, baffling the hosts.

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Final Thoughts & Wrap-Up

Ben and Ronnie are unanimous: the couple’s decision to pick the apartment closest to T’s family (and the main street) rather than the universally beloved, scenic two-bedroom demonstrates deeper relationship issues—never mind practicality. The hosts express both skepticism and amusement at the relationship’s longevity in such close quarters and promise to keep roasting every House Hunters misadventure they can get their hands on.

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For the Crappens Completionist

• Best running gag: Miko’s “spoiler” behavior giving away the couple’s choice.
• Most savage quote:
  “Your marriage is over. I’m telling you that right now, so don’t even try this shit. You’re going to end up drowning her in that pond.”
  — Ben, 05:47
• Funniest cultural clash:
  Ronnie’s story of German flight attendants: “Now is the time when we learn about safety…” (07:21)
• Unexpected real estate truth bomb:
  “Unfortunately, I don’t get paid by the amount of disappointment I produce.” — Kevin, 44:19

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Watch What Crappens continues its reign as the internet’s most hilarious, incisive, and affectionate Bravo snark-fest—with Dwell Hello episodes blending property porn, armchair therapy, and the giddiest roast of TV real estate ever put to audio.

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Podcast Link & Patreon:
Find bonus episodes, video recaps, and Discord access at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.

Transcript

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Yasmin]

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[Ronnie]

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[Yasmin]

Can't wait to see the next episode.

[Acast Host]

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[Ben]

Ding dong.

[Yasmin]

Ding ding ding.

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to Dwell. Hello. A house hunters podcast by us, the people here at Watch for Crappins.

[T]

I'm Ben.

[Ronnie]

That's Ronnie. How's it going, Ronnie? What's going on with you?

[Ben]

How you doing over there, baby?

[Ronnie]

Oh, just, you know, having a great, great time. Today we are talking about an episode that was recommended to us by. Oh, I. By Lucy, who? This is Fairy Tale in Germany. This is House Hunters International Season 152, Episode 5. We watched it on Max and the name is Fairy Tale in Germany. That's the best way to look it up. And if you have any House Hunters episodes you want us to recap, just email us atwatch happens gmail.com and put in your subject. Dwell. Hello suggestion. And we will hopefully get to it. But with that being said, let's dive into this fairy tale in Germany, shall we?

[Ben]

Let's do it. So this takes place in the Black Forest in Germany. What a gorgeous episode to look at. My God.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God. I agree.

[Ben]

Beautiful place.

[Ronnie]

I agree. I was like, gosh. I was fortunate enough to go to Germany last summer as part of our European travels, which I was not in the Black Forest, I don't think, but I was definitely was. I was along the Rhine river and at one point I took like a little Rhine river cruise and at one point got off at a town called Bacharach. And it was so cute and so beautiful and only got to spend about 45 minutes there and I was like, ugh. I just want to spend more time there. I'm watching this episode. I was like, I would love to go back to, like, Bavaria and just to spend a few days just drinking beers and eating sausage and just strolling around. Like, they do all this entire episode. Although they didn't really drink beer, eat sausage, but in my mind, they were doing that off camera.

[Ben]

Yeah. There are things you wait for the cameras to go down to. Indulge in your sausage binge. So we start with lady in the woods walking little baby doggy. And this dog is the star of the show. As far as concerned, this was the cutest damn dog.

[Ronnie]

Not got a lot of glamour shots. A lot of glamour shots. Yeah.

[Ben]

Yasmine is Lee. The Yasmin is leaving everything she knows in New York City to settle down with tea in the Black Forest region of Germany. And we see these two lovely ladies getting married and laughing. He knows everyone is in their wedding photos. I just wish we could get, like, anniversary photos of, like. Let's try and recreate that. Like, just throw your wife around and just see people get more miserable decade by decade. You know, the dress. The dresses get more and more tattered and dirty, and all the promises of youth are washed away.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. But exactly.

[Chris Duffy]

We don't.

[Ben]

So instead, we just get this happy one. So I'm fine with that as a chapter one.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So Yasmina's like, it's our first real home together as a married couple, and I want to get to know my new family. And T is like, well, I grew up with them, so I got enough of them. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm a realist, and Yasmine is a little bit of a dreamer. And then we see evidence of Yasmin being a dreamer because she's sitting next to a pond, and that's.

[Ben]

She's like, this pond could be my life. Yeah. You see what I mean? Total dreamer.

[Ronnie]

Wow. Congratulations. You found a pond. That makes you a total, total dreamer. Wow. Whimsy, whimsy. Water city.

[Ben]

People are always so enchanted by the country for about 10 minutes. Okay. Like, oh, my God.

[T's Mom]

It's a hole in water in it. This is crazy.

[Ben]

I can see myself in the reflection. I love nature. And, like, two weeks later, they're like, mosquitoes. What is this hole with water in it?

[T's Mom]

What are you doing with this?

[Ben]

Let me back to the city.

[Ronnie]

I'm surprised she didn't just pull out a little banjo and start singing Rainbow connection. Settle down, Kermit.

[Ben]

So then that is totally a rainbow connection. Girl.

[T's Mom]

My dad loved this song. There's so many.

[Ben]

Also, t just told you. And this is why I don't think this relationship works, because T just told you. I don't want. Please don't make me move around my family. She's not kidding. She laughs at this part, but she's literally not kidding. She's like, please, they don't understand me. And she's like, no, but I like your mom, so that's bad. If you're like, my mom is torturous. She doesn't understand me, and I don't ever get to say my feelings. And then your wife is like, oh, no, I love your mom. Your marriage is over. I'm telling you that right now, so don't even try this shit. You're going to end up drowning her in that pond.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, because, you know, at the very least, we don't really know what the. All the issues are, but at the very least, there's just the translation. Translation thing, because the mom doesn't speak any English, and Yasmine can say, like, Deutsch. So, you know, she has to spend the entire time translating any conversation between the two of them. And then she probably has to hear things like, why doesn't she learn how to speak German? And then she probably hears like, why.

[T]

Doesn'T your mom learn how to speak English?

[Ronnie]

And then she has to be in between these two people, chatting, chatting, chatting. And they love each other so much, even though they can't understand a single thing they're saying to each other. Yeah.

[Ben]

And if you ever took my mom's side, you're. We're done for. I'm telling you that right now. And also guess why you like my mom. Because you don't know what the she's saying.

[T's Mom]

Okay?

[Ben]

Half the point is what she's saying. That's what's pissing me off. And you don't understand the language, so you're like, she's great. Plus, I have a red hair and her shawls.

[Ronnie]

You know, I have to imagine also for T, at some point when she left home, she's like, now is the time when I leave home. So, like, to actually, like, she's like, well, I already said. I already declared. This is the time when we leave home, so why would I be going home? Because I already declared. I leave home now.

[Ben]

Yeah, they said shotgun.

[Ronnie]

It's like, I think I've told the story a million times, but one time I flew in Lufthansa, and, like, the flight attendant was like, now is the time when we learn about safety she literally said, now is the time. And she's like, now is the time you learn about the mask. Now is the time you learn about your seat. And everything was like a now is the time we do this. It was so German, and I loved it.

[Yasmin]

So.

[Ben]

Well, I've told this one a million times, but when I worked with a bunch of Germans in New York, actually, at this fine dining place, we had to run dishes out at one point in the show, like, we were waiters in the show. So we had to run out all these dishes, and they would always be behind me going, smell, fatso. And the first time I was like, that is so rude. And they're like, this is how we love. This is how we talk. It's how we communicate.

[Ronnie]

Now is the time that we shame. So she. We see opening credits, and we see this beautiful black Forest, which is so foresty. Like, this is a. This is. You know, this is. This is like, the forest. This is the woods. When you go into it, this is the woods. It's so, like, this is what the Brothers Grimm are making the stories about.

[Ben]

Because literally, terrible things happen in these woods. You know that, right? Because they're fairy tale woods. You know, that's where the witch comes out to eat the children and Little Red Riding Head has to kill the wolf who ate a grandma and all that.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And you can see it because, like, I've been in plenty of woods in the Northeast or around, and those woods are just, like, trees and there's, like, leaves, and they're unremarkable. But these woods, I was like, oh, there is a witch in here.

[Ben]

I'm reading the Hunger Games prequel books right now because I'm 13, and I love those books. And they're told from the point of view of the bad guys, you know, like the rich people in the capital. And one of them gets sent, like, the head guy gets sent to where the poor people live, like, to work, and he sees a forest, and he's like, ew. This is not like our forests. Like, our forests are manicured. This forest is, like, gross. There's, like, leaves everywhere. Is anybody taking care of this forest?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it reminds me of you.

[Ben]

Like, what kind of forest is this? Unmanicured forest. Bullshit.

[Ronnie]

Gross. Gross, unkempt forest. So we are here in this gorgeous fairy tale forest, the Black Forest. And he is telling us, growing up in the Black Forest, there's so much nature. It was beautiful. But at some point, I chose, of course, my own. Now is the time to use my own way. I leave the pants behind Mother. So then one of my friends told me her sister was an au pair in the States. And I thought, oh, how can you be an au pair? Can I be an apple? And she said, no, it's just. It's. It's a term. You're taking it too literally. And I said, I'm German. Of course. I take it literal.

[Ben]

So I put in my. My resume to be an apple, and here we go. But, you know, I thought, I love kids. Let's try it out, you know? So I ended up in Manhattan, and I met her and at the Apple store, ironically. And, yes, I was like, I was.

[T's Mom]

Working at a cycling studio and living in Washington Heights, because, of course. Right. And, like, it was just, like, it was beautiful. Like, there was so much music. There was noise. There was, like, people outside. And that's where I really discovered myself.

[T]

Yeah. In the.

[Ronnie]

In the noise and chaos, I discovered myself. And it turns out I'm very noisy and very chaotic.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[T's Mom]

I realized, like, I was a person basically pedaling fast but going nowhere. And I don't know, it wasn't great.

[Ben]

It wasn't a great realization.

[T]

It's a lot of climbs that never.

[T's Mom]

Went, hey, do you have bikes here that actually move?

[T]

My favorite part.

[Ronnie]

Oh, you know what? Now it all makes sense. Because later in the episode, she's like, so are these actual rolling hills? And everyone's confused, but that's a thing in. In, like, cycling, like, what you're doing when you're spinning, there's climbing, and then.

[T]

There'S like, now we're going to do rolling hills.

[Ronnie]

So it's like a little bit of an up, and then a down, up and a down.

[T]

So she's like, oh, my God. Rolling hills. They exist just like on the bicycle. Just like it's Soul Cycle. The real rolling hills are here.

[T's Mom]

Oh, my God. I actually found myself in Germany. This is crazy.

[Ronnie]

So after living for almost two years in the States pretending to be an apple, but what. I was really a pair. I had to move back because my visa was up. And.

[T]

Yeah, we thought we could get married in the United States.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. But getting married as an immigrant to American is not easy. Even when you show up at City hall dressed like you're on the foot of the Loom catalog.

[Ben]

They said, I'm sorry, we have had our fills of marrying fruits for the day. And then I saw the great guy walk out. That's very unfair how it worked out.

[Ronnie]

That took a long time to find my Pear costume. Even though I'm really an Apple Inside. I have identity issues.

[Ben]

But back in Germany, I work for an IT company. So that's good. It's good to work somewhere popular, you know?

[T]

Don't you mean it?

[Ronnie]

No, it is called it. I am doing it. That's where the phrase comes from. You know, where the phrase says. You know the phrase, just do it. They're talking about German companies.

[Ben]

That's what I'm doing.

[T's Mom]

Well, I want to teach English to people whose language I don't know. So that's going to be really interesting.

[Ben]

I'm just going to point at my.

[T's Mom]

Belly and go, belly, belly. Say a German person.

[T]

I want to gather many children into a soul cycle studio and be like, here's how you say rolling, and here's how you say hills. And I think that's, like, all I need to really do.

[Ben]

I just love the audacity of being like, I don't know their language, but.

[T's Mom]

I'm going to teach them mine.

[Ronnie]

Like, what?

[Ben]

Girl, that's not how that works. Okay. You have to actually know how to communicate with them, too.

[T]

I love New York, though. And, like, there were just, like, so many pros for me coming to Germany. Like, I get to be with my partner. We could get married. I would have insurance. When I get on a bike, I can actually go somewhere instead of just being stuck in a dark room and pretending that someday I'll get to see a rolling hill. So a lot. A lot of upsides.

[Ben]

Isn't this every American moving to Europe where we're just like, I moved here because I have insurance.

[Ronnie]

So, yes.

[Ben]

Get health care. So listen, you can only be denied Ozempic so many times before. You're like, you know, I would live in a place with cobblestone streets and window air conditioners. I like, it's starting to look good.

[T]

So she's like, I'm gonna learn the language.

[Ronnie]

And we see her trying to say happy birthday. She's.

[T]

Angela Merkel.

[Ronnie]

Like, no, you have to stop saying that every time you want to speak German.

[T]

But Angela Merkel. Okay, whatever.

[T's Mom]

Yeah, because I'm leaving home. Like, it's really important to me that I have access to people that care about me or, like, have to, because I'm part of their family now.

[Ben]

And then we meet T's mom, and.

[T's Mom]

She'S like, yeah, me and T's mom don't speak the same language. But the first time that I came, we were, like, hugging each other. We were dancing together, and it just worked.

[Ben]

Well, she doesn't know that my mom was calling her stupid Big hair slut the whole time. You know, I don't have the heart to tell her.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I don't have the heart to tell her that behind her back. My mom calls her pond dreamer, which is actually one of the worst things you could say in German language.

[Ben]

The pond dreamer. Tougher. Look into that pond until I can drown her in it.

[T's Mom]

Your mom's so sweet. I like her accent.

[Ben]

So T's mom is like Yasmin. She is such a good daughter in law. I could not have a better one. I could not have a better daughter.

[Ronnie]

Sarcasm in German when we are sarcastic, we cry.

[Ben]

Yeah. Why are you. Why are you crying? No, it is laughing. This is how we do it here. It is opposite today.

[Ronnie]

The best part about Yasmin is that she's never around. She just goes to ponds and stairs on them. It is the best.

[Ben]

One time I saw her riding bike and it went nowhere. Hilarious, idiots. Hilarious.

[Ronnie]

She stares in ponds and rides on bicycles that go nowhere.

[Ben]

So she's like, my town is quiet and super old, and it's, you know, German style. And then we see Texas as well. Stamheim is a small village in call with over 4,000 residents. The closest city is Stuttgart, about 40 minutes away by car. Or as Yasmin calls them, things that actually moves so she won't get into them. Take longer for her.

[Ronnie]

You know, we're so German here. Like the buildings. We have a church and there's like a town hall and there's bells that ring like every 15 minutes. It's actually ridiculous.

[T's Mom]

And yes, every 15 minutes.

[T]

Oh, my God, I could totally design a great cycle course around that.

[Ben]

So now they're walking around town holding hands and T starts singing, this is where you're going to live in the Black Forest.

[Ronnie]

So menacing. And then, yeah, this is a very Hansel and Gretel kind of vibe that she's giving.

[Ben]

It is, you're never going to leave the Black Forest.

[Ronnie]

So now we have realtor Kevin Bruga. It's like people from all over the.

[Ben]

Town is a superstar. We just found out Superstar Kevin is a house hunters superstar. We were looking at a thread about this episode and they're like, oh, my God, it's a Kevin episode. I'm in. Play it 90 times in a row. It's fucking Kevin. And this time he's got his shirt buttoned down a little bit because it's so hot there. Well, guess who else is hot?

[T's Mom]

You, Kevin.

[Ronnie]

Like, damn, Kevin is letting loose this episode. Yeah, it's okay. It's a K Episode we got Kevin. It's a kb.

[T]

KB Stores.

[Ronnie]

People come from all over Germany to visit this region because of the Black Forest. And it allows you to be very one with nature, especially when you get eaten by a witch. That's a concept that the people here are very proud of. The witch.

[Ben]

Mainly we're into organic foods. Our witches eat children. That's pretty organic. No.

[Ronnie]

We just got an ERA one. So that way when you leave your trail of breadcrumbs, you can know that it was made organically.

[Ben]

You know, a wolf eat a grandma. That's pretty organic. Of course, he did use Nutella, so that's not organic. But, you know, we do what we can. Yeah. So they're sitting at a little cafe talking, and Kevin's like, so are you ready asmin for this beautiful, quiet, nice living? Except for the bells that ring every 15 minutes so you can have a sleep. So I love it. Like, what's the point of moving to a small town if they're going to play bells every 15?

[Ronnie]

Now is the time, Doctor, to remind you what is 15 minutes past the hour. Can I tell you? Can I tell you?

[Ben]

Oh, yeah.

[Ronnie]

Can I tell you something? So when I went to Germany my first day, I went to Cologne, and there's a giant cathedral there. And I walked all the way to the top of this cathedral, which was a nightmare because I'm pretty sure I had Covid. And I walked to the top of the cathedral with COVID and it's narrow, it's like terrifying, and just goes on and on. You're walking up a staircase for like 25 minutes. And you get to the top, they have all these bells, and so they're like, hey, the bells go off every 15 minutes. Because I guess, you know, in Germany, you know, if you were to go 30 minutes without bells, you're doing something wrong. So we. So I'm like, you know what this will be? This will be great. With the bells can go off for the ground and they have all these bells. We're like literally in the bell tower at the top of a cathedral that's going to ring out over all of Cologne. There's a big bell, a giant enormous bell, and then there's like some smaller bells. And so it was like 5:45. Like, okay, well, this is good because the 545 bell bell, it's just gonna be the small one, because it's not. Who cares about 5:45? The big bell is for the top of the hour, right? So I'm like, this is good. So I'll just watch the. I'm gonna do a video of just the little bell going. But for some reason, at 5:45, they said, you know what? We're gonna. Let's all. All bells on. I got the big bells. Every bell. If you're a bell, you were commissioned and all those bells are to go off, and I swear to God, it was the loudest thing, because imagine being, like 10ft away from the giant bells that are going to ring out over the entire countryside. It was. I was. My phone started to go crazy. My watch was like, you're in a loud environment. I was, like, actually scared for my ears. It was crazy. It was a crazy bell moment. So when she said, these bells go off every 15 minutes, I was like, I know how loud these bells are going to be. And they probably go off. It's. It probably is very agitating.

[Ben]

Yeah, it sounds like hell. He's like, okay, well, the Black Forest spell, how it works is every 15 minutes, you hear dong. And then you look at the non German person and you say, you're not German. Okay? So that's it. That's all you do.

[Ronnie]

If they happen to be near a pond, feel free to push them in the pond. We call those. We call those American dreamers. Pun dreamers, if you will.

[Ben]

We ring bell every 15 minutes until all Americans are gone. So that's how we're doing it.

[Ronnie]

That thing that is when Germans go into forest, find Americans and push them into bonds.

[Ben]

So he's like, do you believe you're ready for this quiet lifestyle, or do you need a little bit more action?

[T's Mom]

And she's like, I believe I'm ready. Yeah, I'm like, totally ready.

[Ben]

And he's. He's like, well, I think it might be easier if we were closer to Stuttgart city, you know, or as I call it, not by my mom.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's being too polite to say that. Partials.

[T]

Yeah. But I really want to be close to family.

[Ronnie]

Well, for the record, not your family. Okay. Your family is my trauma. So St. Cart it is. Yeah.

[Ben]

And she's like, no, I want to.

[T's Mom]

Be close to family.

[Ben]

And she goes, no, not a priority for me. Definitely not. Like, I grew up with them. I got enough of them. Okay. I'm laughing, but I'm laughing through tears. And Kevin's like, well, how much space do you need? How many rooms? And they want to.

[T's Mom]

And Yasmine's like, yeah, like, ideally, I'd like room for us to, like, not have to look at each other because, like, I Smile and laugh a lot, but clearly, like, so does she.

[Ben]

And that doesn't really. I get the. I'm saying this right now. I get the. From what we get for the whole episode, Yasmin's crazy. She's one of those people that's like really self helpy and really smiling like.

[T's Mom]

Oh my God, I love Pawns and playing Rainbow Connection.

[Ben]

But the minute she's in a mood, it's like, you.

[T's Mom]

Why are you talking to me like that? Was it tone in your voice And.

[Ben]

T is just like, oh my God. So why. Leave me alone.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, this is what goes on behind closed door with this couple I think will be very interesting to see because it. I am not. They are all very happy and. And lovey dovey. But there's trouble in paradise. The fact that, like, it's the most important. One of the most important things that they need in their space is enough space. That way they can be away from each other, which I get. Like, that's important. I think everyone needs to have their space. But it's just like, no, I really need that.

[Ben]

Oh, wow.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, you have a forest also you can go walking around in. But that's fine. So he's like, yeah, she's like, if.

[T's Mom]

We were talking about me living with her mother, studio apartment, but I'm living with her. I need five bedrooms.

[T]

For me.

[Ronnie]

I want to have bigger kitchen because I love to cook really just cabbage. I just want to cook different cabbages. What I want to do is line up three different cabbages every single day, chop them and cook them. And I need to have room for all of that. Is that possible to do? I'm German.

[Ben]

Also, we have a little dog we call Little Creature. His name is Mikko and we see Miko and Mikko. I can't with Mikko, it's like the sweetest dog. And I love how he follows them and looks at them and like does little twirls. It's the cutest dog.

[Ronnie]

Miko is like the fiance of dogs. Like, Miko finds the wind and finds the light. Like every single shot. There's like this beautiful golden hue on Miko.

[Ben]

And Miko can just be at home anywhere. Like everywhere. They went to Mikko's like, I love it here. Look, I'm comfortable right here and just like poses perfectly in a spot, you know, I mean, just the cutest.

[Ronnie]

And I think actually Miko was a little bit of a spoiler because, well, I'll get to it. I'll get to my Miko theory later when it comes up. No need to get ahead of myself right now.

[Ben]

Okay, well, very good. So maybe you can tell me a little bit about what you're willing to spend. And he's like, well, I've been America. So I learned to come here and insist on spending $5 on something great.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[T]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[T]

Okay, so $700. But like if I'm obsessed with it, like maybe like if hashtag pawn dreamer, maybe we can go a little bit higher. Like we need and you know, we just really need a great newlywed home together, you know.

[Ben]

So $700 for a two bedroom. I'm moving. What the are we even doing here? Like why are we even here? And I'm gonna go to this cute little town. I feel like there's gonna be so many cute German dudes in this town.

[Ronnie]

There will be. And I just want to say spoiler alert. Really? All three of these places were totally, totally fine, right?

[Ben]

Like they're all doable.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they're modern, spacious, larger, spacious. There's a studio, but like, you know, spacious. I mean we've seen, when they go to Europe, we've seen the weird ass stuff that they are stuck with. Like that one girl who had like her kitchen was in a separate apartment on the same floor. Like there's just weird in Europe. And this was, I was like, this is all well designed architecture.

[Ben]

Strange. Yeah, every place was kind of cute and just the town itself was so cute. So then he's like, well, let me tell you, Stuttgart, high demand, okay, the prices are high. But also the black forest, the prices have gone up a lot too, you know, because people come here with children they don't want anymore and just leave it to fate. So it's also a very popular vacation destination.

[Ronnie]

So okay, now is the time that we go to Stamheim. Okay, These are. We're going to be very close to T's family and tears.

[Ben]

This is where Cameron comes from. And she's done lot of David Kelly shows. Cameron Stamheim.

[Ronnie]

So there she is right now. She's coming out of the grocery store. Okay, everyone hide. Lead her trail of breadcrumbs into the forest. So Yasmine is like, well, I don't.

[T]

Really know a lot of people here. So having family close by is very convenient.

[Ronnie]

Like, like. But you can't talk to them either. You don't, you don't know anyone anywhere.

[Ben]

You don't know how to talk to them either. You're totally right, girl. Go to class first. Get you, get you a duolingo and you'll you'll be a lot happier.

[T's Mom]

So she's like, family is so important.

[Ben]

But then we see that they're going to look at this house with Miko. And T knows this neighborhood because it's right by her mom's house, which she does not love. And this is a one bedroom apartment for 800amonth. And T doesn't like it because it's $100 more than they wanted to spend, which I'm. I have no pity for you because that's nothing. And it's also like, right on the street. And as they walk in, there's a tractor coming down the road.

[T's Mom]

And she's like, oh, my God. Is that like a tractor driving on the road? Slow down, sir. There are bikes that don't move on this street.

[T]

Do you think that tractor could handle a rolling hill?

[Ronnie]

So they go in and Miko that. Okay, you know what? You know what's so funny? Remember how I said that Miko was a bit of a spoiler? Our note taker, Shelby, picked up on the exact same thing because they go into the apartment and Miko jumps onto the couch and just like, hangs out on the couch. And I was. And so I was like, wow, that dog certainly made himself at home and someone else's furniture. Like, I kind of feel like you would, like most people would if they bring a dog into an open house or to look at something, they're not gonna let the dog just. Just jump up on, like, a couch or onto a bed.

[Ben]

Oh, you don't know many dog owners.

[Ronnie]

I guess not especially when they're little.

[Ben]

You know, they're like, they're just little.

[T's Mom]

What do they do?

[Ben]

But you're right. The dog not only jumped up on the couch, but it does what a dog does if he knows the place. Like, there was a little pillow on the couch and it jumped onto the couch and then hopped right up onto the ground and then turned in a circle and sat perfectly and primly on top of the pillow. So, you know what?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, yeah, this is the house. And at first I was like. I was like. My first thought was, isn't it funny how dogs just immediately know where the pillows are, but then later on when they go into the bedroom, the dog. Here's where I thought it was actually the couch thing. I was like, oh, okay. Didn't strike me as odd. But what I thought was actually crazier was that when they went to the bedroom, the dog got onto the bed and curled up on, like, the pillow that you put your head onto when you sleep. And I was like, if that's a stranger, like, if that's a stranger's pillow, that's wild. That's wild. But if it's your pillow, it's like, I understand people let their dogs do that. Like, I don't care. But, like, I was like, this has to be the house that they pick because they are way too chill with their dog curling up on a stranger's pillow.

[Ben]

Yeah. So they go in, and T doesn't like how dark it is. There's not enough furniture. Well, God forbid you furnish your own apartment. I mean, Jesus Christ, there's a couch, there's a kitchen, there's a bed. Everything else is up to you. The world isn't. Isn't your employee.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And then this. So this. This is a. This is a really nice apartment. Everything's, like, modern and clean, and there's so much light coming in. And then there's an area where there's the table, the dining room table. And it's like the one area that doesn't quite have a window. Like, everything is bright and it's like, slightly darker where the table is. And Tia's like, no, it's very dark over here. I don't know if I like it.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ronnie]

So then I was also like, they probably chose this place because the same room.

[Ben]

It's literally the same room that's like wall to wall windows.

[Ronnie]

I was like, this is. They probably chose this just because she's drumming up some criticism for this place that, like, there's nothing she doesn't like about this. So she has to manufacture an issue with, like, cat, like, very slight shadowing over the table.

[Ben]

Yeah. But the view is the street, which they don't really like. And gaspin's like, oh, my God.

[T's Mom]

Like, I look over at this space and I see my sweet prince napping so sweetly. Like, I myself waking up here in the morning and feeling refreshed and being like, hey, guys, 10 more minutes. Be positive. You can own this world.

[T]

I could set up my peloton right.

[Ronnie]

In front of this window. And that way when I'm cycling on.

[T]

It, I can feel like I'm actually.

[Ronnie]

Driving down the street.

[T's Mom]

Oh, my God, here comes the tracker. I'm gonna die. Okay, maybe this is the one.

[Ben]

Maybe this is.

[Ronnie]

We really have to turn that track to start to stop coming down the street. And from that angle, it freaks her out. Every time.

[T's Mom]

I'm trying to swerve.

[Ronnie]

I can't.

[T's Mom]

I can't swerve.

[Ronnie]

Out of the way.

[T's Mom]

She's like, I can't wait to wake up every morning and just look out this window and go, hi, Germany, I'm here.

[Ben]

Girl, you're gonna get a can throat at your head in about five seconds, I'll tell you that. Ain't nobody want to hear that. Okay. We've already got the bells.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. It's just too much. It's too much. It's like, yeah, yeah, this. Yeah, this. I don't like this window. You know, it's something I don't like about it. You know, I'm just thinking, like, hey, my family is right, you know, right at the doorstep. And like, maybe I want a little bit of distance from them. And by a little bit, there's a reason why I went to America. Okay. I'm really got to work on that Visa.

[Ben]

Yeah. And the.

[T's Mom]

She's like, oh, my God, I love this modern bathroom.

[Ben]

Well, not the whole bathroom, but this one wall. This one wall is mine. Like, this one wall with tile and paint that she likes.

[T's Mom]

She's like, this wall is my style. I love it.

[Ronnie]

So they go in the kitchen, which is small, so t's like, where am I going to fit my cabbage?

[T]

And Yasmin's like, yeah, but you know what, though? What we can do? Like, even, like, even though it'll be hard for us to get around each other, we can also just like learn how to. We can just dance. Look, we can dance in the kitchen. So, like, when I'm trying to get by you, it's actually dancing. It's like so fun, you know?

[Ronnie]

Kevin's like, Americans.

[Ben]

Yeah. And T2 is like, I don't want you dancing in my kitchen. Get the out of my kitchen.

[T's Mom]

So she's like, yeah, And I could walk over to my mother in law's house anytime I want. And then we could play our favorite game. What vod?

[Ben]

What vod?

[T's Mom]

What? It's so fun.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. The negative thing about this is that we're far away from the city. And I think it's just. Would be easier for Yasmine to adjust to Germany closer to Stuttgart. And by Yasmine, I mean, please, please let me go to Stuttgart. I cannot be back here in Stamheim.

[Ben]

Well, Kevin finds an apartment right outside of Stuttgart, but he's not sure if it will be the right fit it for crazy ass, possibly psycho Yasmin.

[T's Mom]

Let's go see.

[Ben]

He's like, oh, my God, Yasmine, she gets so excited about things very fast, but then she gets disappointed very fast. Too. She's always a surprise. It's like, oh, mounting evidence against the yman.

[Ronnie]

This is why she also probably likes the mom. Mom's like, oh, T, you had so much promise for me, but now I'm disappointed. So now we see them dancing outside. They're being goofy, and Yasmine is like.

[T]

I was healing from a heartbre when T and I matched our dating app, and I got, like, a little notification, and I looked and it was like, yes. New personal record on my bike. Yes.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And then I went to all my friends, and I was like, oh, my God, what am I doing? What do I write? What do I say to this crazy American, Help me. I don't know how to do what. What should I say? Should be. I want it to be romantic and impactful and beautiful. So I just wrote, hi.

[Ben]

I wrote hair.

[T's Mom]

Yeah, that was, like, so good to hear because, like, I was breaking up from a previous relationship. Well, the relationship was okay, but, like, the mom broke up with me, and it was, like, so sad. So just to get that little. Hey. I was like, oh, my God, yes, that's the one. We're gonna get married. You know? And then in three months, we were married. We were engaged. I mean, isn't that crazy?

[Ben]

He's like, yes, actually, please don't tell that story to people.

[T]

Yasmine and T are giving up the.

[Ronnie]

Excitement of New York City to settle down with their very stereotypical lesbian lives near T's hometown in the black forest region of the Germany.

[Ben]

So they're on a. A teeter totter. That's a big log. And they're like, oh, my God, what. What should we do to balance? I'm going to put my leg up.

[T's Mom]

Oh, my God, I almost died. You're so funny.

[T]

Like, literally so good.

[Ronnie]

Knowing that someone from Manhattan is coming to a little cute town in Germany. Yeah, I. You know, I get that. It's. It's interesting.

[Ben]

I'm.

[Ronnie]

I'm worried that she'll be bored.

[T]

It's like, yeah, so.

[Ronnie]

But, you know. You know, she's like, but I think you'll have fun here. We'll see. Saw all day long. And then you go off to the pond, and I hide away from my mother afterwards.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[T's Mom]

She's like, you know, like, I used to look at you, and I used to, like, think, oh, my God, party boy. But actually, she really likes to just chill, you know, and she's like, yeah.

[Ben]

I like to be at home doing puzzles.

[Ronnie]

The biggest puzzle that I'm working on is what sort of Escape room can I put Yasmin in that she can't actually escape from?

[Ben]

How do I put enough locks on my door that Yasmin can't give my mother a key? But sometimes. And Yasmine's like, yeah, but sometimes your.

[T's Mom]

Girl wants to get dressed up and feel like she still got it, you know?

[Ben]

She's like, yes, this is why we have Pond.

[Ronnie]

Fox and toads. Love looking at hot girl. So she says, I mean, that's why I think it would be better for us to be in the other cities. So Kevin's like, well, I was noticing that he was much more worried about Yasmin being happy. And every time we walked by her mother's house, she would shudder and put on a fake mustache, which I thought was an odd reaction. Anyway, she might be missing the community, their friends, and the hustle and bustle of New York City. And also, she might be missing the extreme distance she has from her mother. So the benefit of living close to Stuttgart would definitely be that there's nightlife and puzzles and many people they can get to know.

[Ben]

But, you know, I think a city is important to some people. You know, when you're married to an unstable person, it's important to go to gay bars and remind yourself that you have other options.

[Ronnie]

You know, also many more costume shops. So that way that she can find more disguises to hide away from her.

[Ben]

Mother from costume shops. Unfortunately, they all sell leaderhosen, but still different colors, you know, different colors. We're such idiots. Do people living in these places just hate our asses? We know we're idiots. Okay, calm down, Germany. Okay, so we see them coming up to house. Germany's like, I'm going to get you a Fatsaw. So we see the three of them coming up to house number two, and.

[T's Mom]

Yasmine's like, that was a lot of driving. I do not like driving. I'm telling you that right now. Kevin, you little. Okay, yeah.

[T]

She's like, I have to say, during the entire drive, I did not like what I saw.

[Ronnie]

I'm like, you mean the beautiful German countryside with these, like, homes and rivers and. And trees? You know, you moved here, right?

[Yasmin]

Right.

[Ronnie]

This is what you're going to be living in.

[Ben]

Like, this is literally gorgeous.

[T]

Like, where were the billboards? Like, where was the. Carl's Jr.

[Ben]

And then she sees the.

[T's Mom]

House and she's, oh, my God, I love this house. Kevin, you're a hero. Oh, my God, I told you.

[Ben]

Crazy. She's crazy. So this is an hour away from the Family, but closer to the city. And there's two bedrooms. It's very nice. And the backyard is stunning. They go out into this backyard and it overlooks the city. I mean, it's like.

[Ronnie]

And there's a pond. There's a pond. It's everything she could ever want. It is like, this is like the obvious choice. Like, this is perfect. But Yasmine's finding things to nitpick off of.

[T]

She's like, this bedroom, like, I appreciate your optimism about it because it's like.

[Ronnie]

A nice sized bedroom and it has light and it has a bed and it's very cute.

[T]

But there's writing on the wall and the vibe is off for me.

[Ronnie]

Cuz there's like, the writing says ling plots, which I think it means cozy corner.

[T]

Is that what this.

[Ben]

She's like, yeah, I think they said, yeah.

[T's Mom]

She's like, yeah, it means cozy corner. But I mean, I'm not cozy.

[T]

Are you?

[T's Mom]

I know I'm not feel cozy here.

[Ben]

I hate it. She's like, oh, no, this is our cozy corner. You know, we sit here and we be cozy together.

[Ronnie]

And this is the corner for coziness in the corner together. Come on.

[Ben]

Hold on.

[T's Mom]

I'm getting like, there's a. I'm sorry.

[Ronnie]

I'm getting a little bit hungry. Let me go to hungry corner. Okay, now I can be hungry.

[T's Mom]

Yeah, but like, there's like a cozy corner, but cozy is not romantic. Okay, where's romantic corner?

[Ben]

Okay, we changed the sign.

[T's Mom]

It's not about the sign. Okay, hold on. Let me just calm down a little bit. Oh, I mean, look at T. She's like, more chill than me and I'm a little more excitable. So we keep each other leveled.

[Ben]

Oh, my God. One of us has earplugs and the other one doesn't. You guess.

[Ronnie]

Excuse us. We have to go to the leveling corner so that way we can be leveled.

[Ben]

And she's like, I'm not a fighter, you know, I'm more of a choker. So I laugh, and then that kind of loosens the tension. Oh, that's not going to work for much longer, I can tell you that. Because you know what people hate when they're really pissed off? Someone laughing at them. Yasmin's going to murder you. I'm warning you right now.

[Ronnie]

She won't like it. Yeah, no, cozy corner is going to protect you. So they go into the bathroom, and Yasmine likes the mirrors in there, and.

[T]

But she's like, I don't get it with these like, colors and stuff.

[Ronnie]

It's just.

[T]

I don't feel. It's like, it feels off. Like, I don't. I don't get it. I don't like it.

[Ronnie]

And Kevin's like, you know, the funny thing with Yasmin is she gets excited about things very fast. This is like what I said before. She gets excited about things very fast. But then when she looks closer, disappointment comes very fast past, which is fortunate because this house does have a disappointment corner for her to stand in.

[Ben]

Yeah. So they look at the backyard, which is gorgeous. And they check out the kitchen, which is huge for them.

[Ronnie]

You know, beautiful views. Beautiful views. We didn't even add. Yeah, gorgeous.

[Ben]

He's like, well, you know, it won't be boring for you here because you're close to the city. You know, on the other hand, you're a little bit further away from your. Your family.

[T's Mom]

She's like, oh, my God, Mom. Mom, I miss you. I miss a ugly.

[Ronnie]

So the issue here also is that I think this one was like a thousand euros per month instead of 700. So it's 300 over. So they're concerned about, like, being. Make. Make those ends meet. To which I say, you know, one of my favorite responses to that is, you know, get a job, get a.

[Ben]

Job, get a job. Yeah. And I mean, look, a thousand dollars for that is nothing. It's a gorgeous hillside. Like, hill views.

[Ronnie]

Gorgeous. Listen, how close?

[Ben]

Incred.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God. So this to me was like the odd. Like, this is the auto buy. Like, this is like you, you. This is no need to look at house number three. This is the one you get.

[Ben]

So now they're walking around the town and she's like, oh, look, it's just Christmas. Christmas trees.

[T's Mom]

She goes, oh, my God. Like, Christmas trees. Have you ever cut down your own?

[Ben]

She's like, no, why would I do something so stupid?

[T's Mom]

She's like, it's gonna be so fun. I can't wait here to come here and just start cutting down trees. Trees.

[Ronnie]

You know, moving back to Germany, I got culture shock by my own home country, you know, because, like, in the States, the people in Met was so open minded, even when it comes to, like, emotions and talking things out, you know? And then I came home and I saw my mother, and I was like, oh, I am feeling your culture. And I am shocked.

[Ben]

It's like, my family is not like that. You know, it's very hard for me. If I'm trying to express my feelings, they don't understand me. And that's when I Get extremely annoyed.

[T's Mom]

And Yasmine's like, yeah, that's true. There's not really feelings. Well, I'm allowed to talk about my feelings cuz I'm American. But you're not, so that's fine. God, I love her mother.

[T]

I'm sorry your mother's not emotionally supportive to you and is closed off and is cruel and is very passive aggressive with everything she says. But she made me gingerbread, so I love her.

[T's Mom]

She loves listening to my feelings.

[Ben]

She's like, oh my God. So then they're walking through a cornfield and oh God, this part, she hands her up, she hands her a stock of corn and y's like, oh my God.

[T's Mom]

Did you literally just spit corn? And then now I'm opening it and there's like legit real corn inside. Are you kidding me?

[T]

I thought it'd be like a Cadbury cream egg or just be like a nice sugary filling. But there's literally corn in here.

[T's Mom]

Yeah. Like, naively I thought, I'm gonna have to come to Germany and like cook corn. But I don't. You can just like eat it off the trees here. This is amazing.

[Ronnie]

Where's that tractor when you need it? I wanted to come burst into the cornfield.

[Ben]

I'm rooting for the tractor.

[T's Mom]

So she's like, yeah, like, I just like have to scale down. But you know, like, sometimes I want to be like in a city where I can just like go buy things. I can buy whatever I want.

[Ben]

She's like, no, I work. I work at it. So no.

[T]

I just can't believe the corn had corn in it.

[T's Mom]

It was wild.

[Ronnie]

So now they're on the Autobahn and they're driving because the Autobahn has no speed limit in certain areas. And Kevin's like, yeah, the Autobahn, you can go fast on it. It's exciting. This is what gets at all my rage when I have to drive around stupid Americans. To show them beautiful houses that they're not going to choose anyway. This next property is right between Stuttgart and where the family lives. Someone call it the middle and it would be a good compromise. On the other hand, it is a studio apartment and they won't like that. And some things are just like a little bit inconvenient. But that's how life is. That's why sometimes you have to go stand in the corner known as the inconvenienced corner.

[Ben]

Well, he's an asshole. Because you're. You're showing them a studio. Are you kidding? It's bad enough you already Showed them one bedroom when they wanted to, but I think he's doing that whole, like, oh, here's what you get for under budget. And it's stupid, right? Okay, enjoy.

[Ronnie]

You're telling me there's. There's not a single apartment or home that's in between these two places? That's better than a studio. Come on, Kevin.

[Ben]

Yeah, I like that. Kevin's like, you, hey, this. This house number three, this biggest quality is you. You. In your face. Okay? So they walk into it, and me, of course, little Miko's there looking all cute. And this is where he has like.

[T's Mom]

Oh, my God, those are rolling hills, right?

[Ben]

And they're like, what are rolling hills here? Stop making things up. Stupid American.

[Ronnie]

I don't know what it is. Yeah, sorry, sorry. So she's, like, obsessed with rolling hills. They have. They've never heard of the concept. And they go in, and it is a studio. I mean, if you were looking for a studio, it's a nice studio. But this is 100% not what they're looking for. And it's. It's really small for the two of them and the dog, but there is a lot of light.

[Ben]

Too small. This one's an auto no. We all know it's going to be an auto no. And Yasmin goes, yeah.

[T's Mom]

I mean, like, imagine when we're in a disagreement, and I like having to sit right here on this couch and pout right into your face.

[Ben]

And she's like, oh, my God, please, no.

[Ronnie]

He's like, well, you can go outside.

[T]

He's like, yeah, but not in the winter.

[Ronnie]

He's like, well, Kevin then says the craziest thing. He goes, well, unfortunately, I don't get paid by the amount of disappointment I produce, but I can imagine that they will like the bathroom. I've never heard a realtor on these shows say something like that. I didn't realize that's what he said. That was one of the funny. When he said that, I was like, did he just say that?

[Ben]

No wonder I got Superstar.

[Ronnie]

Only I got the commission on disappointment.

[Ben]

But hopefully they're like, the bathroom. It's modern. And she's like, oh, my God, nice bathroom.

[T's Mom]

But that's literally it, Kevin, you idiot.

[Ben]

He's like, oh, God, Cha Ching. So she's like, when I think about Jasmine in my life here in Germany, I can not feel myself in a studio. You know, we need to be bye. That's what we need. We need to be able to say bye. And so now we're going over the different houses, and they're talking about their options. And I thought they were going to choose number two.

[Ronnie]

Honestly, I thought.

[Ben]

I didn't get the whole. I didn't get the whole clue of the dog liking house number one. I thought number two is just, first of all, it's the best. It's pooping. Right. So everybody, even people like me who don't like to talk about it, love to poop. And second, it was like that hillside, the pond, the backyard.

[Ronnie]

There's nothing wrong with it.

[T's Mom]

It's huge.

[Ben]

It was just amazing. And they did not choose it. And that's when I knew they're done for this couple.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, this is not gonna work out like this. There was no reason not to take this perfect apartment. And they went with the one that was like, on the first floor where the window looks out onto, like, a main street. Like, and not in a fun way. It's just, like. It's just right there. No, no, no, no. And like you said, right by the mom that he doesn't want to be around.

[Ben]

Yeah, I just. This is not gonna work out. But they chose it. And then we see three months later, they bought a new plant. And Yasmin's trying to say leaderhosen.

[T's Mom]

She think that's, like, literally hard. I can't wait to teach a language.

[T]

Now that we're together, we've picked the perfect newlywed apartment. And it's just been so easy. It was just, like, totally meant to be. And I've even found more corn that has corn on the inside too.

[Ben]

She's like, unfortunately, I still have to see my stupid mother, but at least they keep each other company. So I'm so happy they just stay.

[Ronnie]

Out in the ponds together. Yeah. So I'm very. I don't believe in their choices.

[Ben]

But you know what I did see when I was watching this on Matt Max, they have House Hunters renovation. Have you ever seen that?

[Ronnie]

I have seen that. That's like an hour long thing. Because the first half is like. The first half is like House Hunters. The second half is renovation. But it's really fun to watch.

[Ben]

Oh, maybe I have seen that a long time ago.

[Ronnie]

I mean, that's how I remember. Maybe if It's. Maybe it's 30 minutes.

[T]

But if.

[Ronnie]

If I think it's a full hour, though.

[Ben]

Oh, no, I. Nobody got time for that. We just do 45 minutes on just a 20 minute show. We'll be here all day if we do an hour. All right, everybody, thank you so much for being here for Dwell.

[T]

Hello.

[Ben]

We really appreciate you being here. Part of wondering. Plus go get Patreon and all that tickets for our live shows and all that good stuff. And of course our entire catalog of Dwell hello episodes on Onery and the rest of it over on our Patreon. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you next time.

[Ronnie]

Bye.

[Acast Host]

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