Dwell Hello #509: Sex Wax on the Beach in Noosa

Summary

Watch What Crappens

Dwell Hello #509: Sex Wax on the Beach in Noosa

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: April 25, 2025

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Overview

In this episode of Dwell Hello, Ben and Ronnie recap and hilariously dissect the House Hunters International episode “Sex Wax on the Beach in Noosa” (Season 156, Episode 8). The show follows Erica, a 25-year-old Canadian nurse looking to start a new, “more adult” life of surfing and grown-up living in Noosa, Australia—accompanied (and often undermined) by her surfer friend AJ and Canadian realtor Ian. Ben and Ronnie bring their signature wit, skepticism, and Bravo-influenced commentary to every odd adulting moment, questionable roommate scenario, and the eternal tension between share-house squalor and solo sophistication.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction & Episode Setup

• Title Clarified: Despite the provocative name, there’s no sex—just “sex wax” for surfboards (02:54).
• Vocabulary Lesson: Ronnie teases Ben’s East Coast roots:
  • “Sex wax is what you use on surfboards. What kind of California boy are you, Ben?” — Ronnie (03:09)

Erica’s Journey to “Adulting”

• Erica’s Background:

  • Young, but already a surgical nurse.
  • Craving independence after five wild years of backpacking and share houses.
  • Wants a work-life balance, to adult and to surf—a lot.

• Debate: What Is Adulting?

  • Ben: “I think when you start really focusing on dinner parties… trying to buy your own house…” (04:28)
  • Ronnie: “You pay your rent, you go to a job; that's all I really require. So I'm like, you're an adult.” (05:00)

• AJ the Surfer Friend:

  • Described as “a stereotypical surfer dude who looks like a Lord of the Rings character… in some light, really cute… but is he protecting a ring from a monster in a volcano?” — Ronnie (05:17)
  • Their supposed “friendship” is endlessly winked at by the show's editors, but the hosts see through it:
    • “The show’s like, winking at us the whole time. Like, are they fucking?” — Ronnie (06:35)

House Hunt Recap & Commentary

House #1: The Dream Pad (Two-Minute Drive to Beach, $1,500/mo)

• Modern, Clean, Stylish:
  • “There is not a single thing wrong with it… This is a wonderful choice.” — Ben (20:19, 21:01)
• But...
  • Erica dithers over the cost; AJ undermines her excitement.
  • “He does not want her to like this. He really is… a big underminer.” — Ben (22:18)
  • Memorable moment:
    • “She’s not like a remote control, you know? She’s not built for your convenience, sir.” — Ronnie (22:29)

House #2: The Basement Suite (15-Minute Drive, $1,200/mo)

• Spacious But Distant:
  • Further from beach and “cafe culture.”
  • “I actually do think 15 minutes is a little bit… it is a little bit far away. And you are in the suburbs.” — Ben (28:49)
  • Relatable tangent: moving just 15–30 minutes away in Austin or LA can feel like social exile (29:25–30:46).
• Adulting Considerations: Erica debates if isolation means more “adult” routines—grocery shopping, barbecuing, and laundry (“Can you barbecue books? Let's try.” — Ben, 32:21).

House #3: AJ’s Sharehouse (2 Minutes from Surf/Shop, $900/mo)

• Party House Nightmares:
  • “There’s the corner we masturbate in… there’s the TV we masturbate to.” — Ronnie (37:12)
  • “There’s a drum over there, and there's a big collection of pubic hair with a hole that you pee into.” — Ronnie, satirizing student lifestyles (37:12)
• Literal Red Flags:
  • Erica: “There were campers parked on the lawn and people in and out of the bathrooms in the bedrooms constantly… that’s a pass.” (38:02)
• Air Conditioning Debate:
  • “If you’re still hot, just go outside.” — AJ (39:09)
  • “Who escapes the summer heat by going outside?” — Ronnie (39:28)

Decision Time & Financial Real Talks

• Erica, with push from AJ, crosses off the “Dream Pad” as too expensive—a decision Ben and Ronnie treat as sacrilege.
  • “There’s never been a more perfect studio… just $300 over.” — Ben (44:13)
• Math lesson: Ben breaks down how saving $10 a day could have bought her the dream apartment (44:41–44:59).
• Erica chooses the basement suite—safe, serviceable, not exciting but “adult.”

Fast Forward: Three Months Later

• Erica’s settled, has a hospital job, and starts to “adult” for real.
• “She keeps it clean. She goes, I’m able to go grocery shopping like an adult would…” — Ben (46:35)
• She’s less wild party girl, but still not a full “adult” (by Ronnie’s definition, which is mostly just paying rent).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Surfer Stereotypes:
  • Ronnie: “I feel like he likes ren faires and turkey… those big old turkey legs.” (05:45)
• On Budget Expectations:
  • “$1200? There ain’t even a McDonald’s by here.” — Ronnie (15:52)
  • Ben: (on Americans abroad) “They just always assume when you leave America, everything is cheaper.” (15:57)
• On Househunting with AJ:
  • “I came here to help Erica, but I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be because she brought a vagrant along for the house hunt.” — Ben, as Ian (36:15)
• Ultimate Sharehouse Dissent:
  • “No house with a drum set in the kitchen is ever this clean. I just don’t believe this. Like, one of their moms came over.” — Ronnie (38:59)
• Budgeting Wisdom:
  • “If she saves $10 every day in a month, she can afford her dream pad. That’s called being an adult.” — Ben (44:41–44:59)
• Final Thoughts on Adulting:
  • “I’m an adult now. The other day for dinner, I ate a book.” — Ronnie (46:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Theme | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 02:54 | Clarifying the episode title and sex wax confusion | | 03:24 | Cohost banter on what counts as “adulting” | | 05:17 | Description of AJ and speculation on his motives | | 06:06 | Opening scenes: Erica’s motivations for moving | | 08:22 | Erica’s plans for a “better work-life balance” | | 14:56 | Introduction of Canadian realtor Ian and search criteria| | 20:13 | First house tour: “Dream Pad” | | 22:18 | AJ’s undermining of the modern apartment | | 27:04 | Second house tour: Basement suite | | 29:25–30:46| Ben & Ronnie’s tangent on living just outside the action| | 37:12 | Sharehouse horror stories, masturbation jokes | | 39:09 | The “go outside if hot” air conditioner moment | | 44:13 | Erica crossing off the dream pad and hosts’ outrage | | 46:35 | Erica’s “adult” life update, three months later |

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Tone & Language

Ben and Ronnie maintain their trademark blend of affectionate mockery and deadpan recaps, consistently breaking the fourth wall, riffing on “adulting” culture, surfer stereotypes, toxic male energy, and the uniquely grimy reality of share houses. Their tone is irreverent, sarcastic, and full of Bravo-inspired pop-culture references. Their conversation flows like a live, unfiltered hangout, with honest reactions and playful judgment at every turn.

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Conclusion

This episode of Dwell Hello delivers everything Watch What Crappens fans crave: a perfect mix of sharp snark, parasocial therapy, absurdist detail, and real-world wisdom (occasionally). Tune in if you love watching (and judging) people’s questionable real estate choices—with a side of tales about sex wax, sharehouse disasters, and the eternal struggle to become a grownup without giving up your surfing dreams.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah. And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[B]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[A]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[B]

We'll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right, so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[A]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

[C]

Love y'.

[D]

All.

[C]

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[E]

We all have bad days and sometimes bad weeks and maybe even bad years. But the good news is we don't have to figure out life all alone. I'm comedian Chris Duffy, host of ted's how to Be a Better Human podcast. And our show is about the little ways that you can improve your life. Actual practical tips that you can put into place that will make your day to day better. Whether it is setting boundaries at work or rethinking how you clean your house. Each episode has conversations with experts who share tips on how to navigate life's ups and downs. Find how to be a better human Wherever you're listening to this.

[C]

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[D]

Ding dong.

[C]

Ding dong.

[D]

Ding dong Ding ding ding ding ding dong. Well, hello. Well, hello and welcome to Dwell. Hello, I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello, Ben.

[C]

Hi. How are you?

[D]

Good. Welcome to another episode of Dwell. Hello.

[C]

Oh, feels great to be here. So excited.

[D]

This one is called Sex Wax on the beach in Noosa. Okay. It's House Hunters International Season 156, Episode 8. If you want to find this, you can just look over on Max and just search for Sex Wax on the beach in Noosa. And that is how you will find it. That's how we find everything. A I'm trying to speak title for.

[C]

This episode Sex Wax on the beach because spoiler alert there's no sex and nothing about sex in this episode.

[D]

There's something about sex wax. Do you know what sex wax is?

[C]

I don't.

[D]

You don't? Sex wax is what you use on surfboards. What kind of California boy are you, Ben New York?

[C]

I'm a New Yorker at heart. I guess sex wax, wow. Sounds provocative. Okay, yeah.

[D]

This was suggested by Michelle. If you want to suggest something, email us at. Watch what crappens.com with the subject header dwell hello suggestion so we can find it in a search. And please make sure that we can find it somewhere that's free to watch, like Max or YouTube TV, something like that. Okay, so thanks, Michelle. Here we go. Now this, this one is a little different because it's a young person and they're moving because they just want to be, they just want adults. And so they say things like, this is what adults would do. I'm like, aren't you like 27 or something?

[C]

She's 25 actually. She's barely still. Like, barely.

[D]

That's an adult. I don't know. I think maybe I just started working too young. I don't. Yeah, you're like a full on ER nurse, ma'. Am. Like, what the. You're a surgical nurse. You are an adult.

[C]

Yes, you are an adult. But like in terms of adult ting, I think that doesn't start till your 30s might, I guess.

[D]

What, what, what is adulting? What do you consider adulting?

[C]

I think when you start doing things like focusing more on like dinner parties versus going out to the bar, I think that's pretty much it. I think when you start really focusing on dinner parties, I think like nesting, I think trying to buy your own house. I think having children, focusing on like when you're, when your concerns are really more focused on, on going to like Target to get cute things for your living space versus, you know, where you're going to party, I think that's more adulting.

[D]

I think that I was taking it more like you pay your rent and you go to, you go to a job, like that's all I really require. So I'm like, you're an adult. I'm not very mature at my age, my ripe old age. So I guess I'm just like, I mean, you pay your rent, don't you? Anyway, I think you're an adult anyway. But I really like her. She's, she's got a really good personality. She hangs out with this like surfer dude, like kind of a stereotypical surfer dude who I feel like looks like a Lord of the Rings character. Like, in some light, he's like, really cute and really hot, and I'm like, oh, my God, I can totally see why this girl's banging the sky. But on the other, I'm like, but is he protecting a ring from a monster in a volcano?

[C]

He might be. Via surfing. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

You never know.

[C]

There's something kind of medieval about him.

[D]

There is. Like, I feel like he likes ren faires and turkey. You know, those big old turkey legs. Like, he walks around amusement parks with big turkey legs.

[C]

And that's fine. That's fine. Just be honest about it, okay? Don't act like you're a surfer when we know deep down you want to be on a ren faire.

[D]

Now, you could do both things, but I'm just, you know, I'm just, like, trying to get a handle on who he is, you know?

[C]

Yeah. So we open up and we see Erica sort of like. Like the. Our little, like, pre credits moment where she's talking about, like, she just really wants to work on the. Like, want to work on the days that I work and then surf on the days off. And so Linda's like, but in Noosa, Australia, there's more to love than just the work life balance. What it is, I don't know, because I can't tell the fuck what it is from this stupid episode. But you know what? That's fine. Live your life, Erica.

[D]

I'm not going to live in Noosa. It sounds too much like Musa. And who wants to live in a place called that? Well, Michelle does or Erica does. So let's see what this dummy wants to do with her life. So she's with her friend, quote, unquote. They say her friend. Because this whole. The show's like, winking at us the whole time. Like, are they fucking? Are they. Every chiron they put up like, this is a famous part of news that they probably fucked in. Am I right?

[C]

They're really trying to create some sort of intrigue between these two, but I don't sense any sexual chemistry. And also, I don't know why they would need to keep it secret. Like, I don't know why. Like. Like why we're being so saucy about the fact that there's like, that they know each other. It's like they may be fucking. It's like, okay, so sure.

[D]

Okay, yeah. So he's wiping down a surfboard. They're on the beach. That's what they have in common. So then we go to a cafe and they're with a Canadian agent, Ian. And he's like, I'm the dad here because I'm with a younger woman who might be quote, unquote, fucking this guy, which I don't know if I quote, unquote, approve of. I'm gonna judge him. I'm here to judge the fuck out of these youngins.

[C]

So the big question going into the show is, am I ready to put party Erica to rest? I don't know. See, so now we have our theme theme music. And then we, we arrive here in Noosa, Australia. Australia, where we meet Erica Ling, who is here at the beach. And she's like saying, being a surgical nurse is very haha stressful and sad at the same time. So I decided to travel to Asia, Australia and India. I was like, wait a second. What sad? What's happening in your surgeries? How many of them are going wrong?

[D]

Because that's so sad. You're dealing with so many sick people. She's like, I'm sick of sick people. So I'm gonna travel now. This is the new Erica. Sew yourself up.

[C]

Then I realized I probably shouldn't be in Vancouver anymore. So I'm definitely looking for more of a work life balance. So I chose to move to Noosa because I love to surf. And I actually surfed in Australia about a year ago and I thought it was a better version of Canada.

[D]

Because, you know, the weather.

[C]

You wouldn't say the surfing in Australia is better than the surfing in Vancouver.

[D]

She's like, have you ever tried surfing in maple syrup? It's hard. So I was like, fuck this, I'm going to Australia. Nusan. Nuan. Nusan is a car they drive in Noosa. Sorry? Noosa is a very iconic place to surf. And as a nurse, I work hard, but not lately. Am I right? So they say, Chiron, the average annual temperature in news is between 68 degrees and quote, unquote, 75 degrees Fahrenheit question mark.

[C]

Wow, it's like a warm Vancouver. So Erica is saying, you know, for the past five years, I've been backpacking and partying and living in a share house, which is why I really just want to find my own space. I have not showered in so long. I think it's time. I think it's time to get back into showering. Being an adult is going to be a huge step. But Noosa is like the paradise of Australia. It's kind of like Noosa is to Australia as Vancouver is to Canada. And so I imagine, like a lot of Australians and expats want to move here, so it might just be like a little difficult to find something on my own.

[D]

It was popularized when the famous house flipper Tarek El Noosa went on hgtv. I just love it here. So we see Globe marketing, Vancouver, Canada, to Noosa, Australia. And she's like, yeah, I feel like I'm brave because I came here all by myself and I don't have a job nursing, but I thought it would be, you know, a big step. So here I am. I'm brave. So she's hanging out with aj. Oh, sorry. What were you gonna say?

[C]

Nothing useful.

[D]

That's not required. That's not required on this show. Where do you think you are, a library?

[C]

I was like, so she's walking around saying, where's the Molson? On my right. It's just like Canada, but warmer. Yeah. She's hanging out with AJ and she's saying that when she first got to Noosa, she met AJ in the water while surfing. And she was like using like a foam board, which is like such a rookie board. Like, who's putting sex wax on that? Am I right?

[D]

She goes, who's moving to a place to surf when you're on a foam board? I mean, seriously, can we get some pros? Anusa, this is Noosa. Okay? It's not Toronto. We serve here.

[C]

Technically, it was a snowboard from Whistler. And she's like, I can use this in the ocean too, right? So Erica is like, that was on a maple leaf. So it's actually just an old CD from cd Celine Dion. She goes, do you remember when. Hey, aj, remember when we first met and the waves were massive and I didn't know how to surf? Hahaha. He's like, yeah, I remember. I was like, what's this kook doing in this four footer? Am I right?

[D]

And then we see surfers that don't follow the rules of the waves are called kooks in the Noosa surfing world. The Noosa World Surfing reserve has five world class point breaks for surfers. You kooks. I did it. Did you see? You're all kooks out there. Kook recognized kook. Am I right?

[C]

Wow, Congratulations. You surfed in a wave you couldn't handle. How about you try raising two kids and lose custody to your ex husband? Husband, huh? Sorry, I got a little personal there.

[D]

Well, I just thought he was a typical surfer with long hair, crystal necklace, smells kind of funny, you know, takes baths only in the. Only in the ocean, and still doesn't use Soap. But, you know, he kept surfing by me until I decided to say something, and then he offered me a giant turkey leg. So that was something. I fucked him. I fucked him. The Chiron just says, she, quote, unquote, fucked him.

[C]

Hope that works out for you. This is another Chiron. Below it, she goes. AJ was like, yeah. She was all like, help me. I don't know how to serve. She's such a kick. So Erica's like, I wasn't hitting on him or anything. I just thought I was a strange Renaissance man on the ocean, and I was confused. I wanted to ask what he was doing there.

[D]

Where's your sword? What? Who. What king are you under? And under the Chiron under him says AJ Olson, quote, unquote friend. Wow.

[C]

So Erica tells us AJ Would like me to go to his current place so him and I could go surfing all the time. And he thinks I'm not ready to grow up, but I am ready to grow up. I've seen many people's body is torn open. I've seen a lot these days.

[D]

I've seen what not ever having a job and only surfing and living in a share house does to you. And it's AJ I don't want to become AJ So I'm going to try to avoid that.

[C]

Hey, you can tell me where all the grownups hang out. Not that you probably know. Ha ha ha. Strange thing to say to someone.

[D]

Yeah, it really is. So that she says grownups all the time, because that's her thing. She's like, I'm not grown up yet. Yes, you are. Okay. Pay your taxes. So we go to AJ in his confessional, and he's like, when it comes to houses, I'm not an expert, but I kind of know what she wants, you know, and she can have that when she's 35. She's 25. A share house like mine would be great. We need someone to clean the toilet every once in a while. And by cleaning, I mean rough. The roughly go over it with a paper towel once a month.

[C]

Yeah, I haven't even seen his sharehouse yet, but at this point in the episode, I'm like, absolutely not. Do not move in with this idiot. So then they meet it with this guy Ian, who Ian is a fellow Canadian, and he also speaks in a very kind of hilariously staccato way. Did you notice that? That everything he said was sort of like. So he's saying that, like, Noosa is like a very hot commodity, and rentals in the price range are extremely hard to come by. And she wants solo living. One bed, one bath. She wants to be in central Noosa. She wants to be close to the beach, but also in central Noosa. And her budget is $1,200.

[D]

And she also uses the term cafe lifestyle. She's like, I really want to be close to the cafe lifestyle. Adults love cafe.

[C]

You know, what I love is smelling like seaweed and going into a cafe. I just want that cafe lifestyle.

[D]

Totally into it. So she's only going to spend 1200. And he grimaces, but I think that's for. For House Hunters International. That's a pretty good.

[C]

That's actually a pret.

[D]

A pretty decent budget. Right?

[C]

She's actually like. I think at one point in. In this part where we were going through, I seem to remember she said at some point, like, well, I know it's like a. It's a tough market or there's not a lot of opportunities here. So, you know, I'm willing to spend 1200. Which I was like, this is how you can tell that she's Canadian versus an American. Because an American would be like, okay, well, since I'm in a foreign country, we all know. I think I could probably do a budget of like 300 that you can get something for me. Right?

[D]

$1,200. There ain't even a McDonald's by here.

[C]

Every time there's an America, they just always assume when you leave America, everything is cheaper. Yeah. $300, right?

[D]

Yeah. So what's the point of coming to Mexico? This is Noosa, sir. So, Whoa. So you don't have burritos here? Oh, great. And you want 1200?

[C]

I don't think so.

[D]

So Ian is, like, just laughing in her face. He's like, ah, twelve hundred dollars. Hey, I've got some share houses you can look at. Hey, should I take you to some parking benches? You can sleep on those for about 1200amonth.

[C]

I know you want some cafe culture. How about sleeping under a table in a cafe? That'll get you. That's what $1,200 will get you. Okay.

[D]

Have you learned to use discarded garbage as a comforter?

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Because I could show you some garbage cans you can sleep in.

[C]

Hey, maybe you can learn how to breathe underwater, because you can then just sleep under the coral reef. And that still will cost about 1500 doll that I think about it. I do have some mermaid clients.

[D]

And listen, I mean, I have a share house. The rent is cheap. Bills are included. At one time or another, someone's always masturbating there's never a time of day that someone doesn't have their dick in their hand.

[C]

Question. How do you feel about a light coating of pubic hairs on every surface? Is that okay for you?

[D]

What do you think of piss sprinkle being all over walls of the bathroom? The right light looks like stars.

[C]

Ian's looking at Erica like blink wants if you want me to save you from this man.

[D]

And she goes, I get what you're saying, but I want to grow up a little bit. I want to do what grown ups do.

[C]

Then why do you have this Fraggle Rock character next to you? Okay, so Ian's like, well, I haven't quite figured out what AJ's role in this relationship is yet, but when I asked Erica and she said they were friends, I wonder what would happen if I asked AJ the same question. Okay, Messy Ian getting involved in this situation. Yeah.

[D]

So now they're on their way to house number one. They're talking by phone to each other and number one checks her boxes. Okay. Because she is going to be near the surf and surely there's a cafe there. And it's a resort town, so it's on the pricier side. So Ian's like, anything near the beach is going to be pricey, but we're going to what I call, quote unquote dream pad. That's all right. I quote unquoted it. Everybody all right, pay attention. I'm fucking the dream pad.

[C]

The dream pad. Does that mean that the interior is designed like a renaissance castle, but the floors are covered with pee sprinkle. So it's not that. That's maybe your dream is a dream.

[D]

Pad, something you put on the ground and pee on so you don't have to walk all the way to the share bathroom.

[C]

Actually that is part of it, yes. So this place is a two minute drive to the beach and about a five minute walk to cafe culture of Nisa Junction. So Erica's like my, I've got high expectations now. Just like a grownup.

[D]

Yeah, we know you don't because you're hanging out with that guy. So we see this place and it says the house exterior is a two story with a ground level garage and a wrapped around deck on the second floor with big windows for AJ to look into.

[C]

AJ goes. Looks a little bit like a share house. It's like, like. Well, as you may notice, there's no peace sprinkle around, nor pubic hair, nor semen. And there are three individual suites that all have their own entrance and are fully Self contained. So I'm like, so it's an apartment building, basically? Is that what you're trying to say? He's like, yeah, pretty much. It's in a communal pool. Yeah, it's an apartment building.

[D]

And he's like, there isn't a shared outdoor pool. It's like, oh, my God. It's like basically like a share house. You might as well live in a shared house. You're going to share pool. My chase.

[C]

But it's fifteen hundred dollars. But it's also close to the surf. So Erica tells us, you know, I'm ready to adult, but I'm realizing that's gonna come with a prize. Yeah, no, it's called get another job or get a job. She doesn't even have a job yet. So AJ is saying, yeah, that's what happens when you want to grow up. You have to pay for things. But in a share house, you pay. You bought her just like in Renaissance days. Unfortunately, the bottle that we accept most is body here.

[D]

So they go and they look at this place. It's gorgeous. This place is gorgeous. Yeah, it's modern.

[C]

It's beautiful.

[D]

It's so nice. I mean, it is really, really nice. The location's perfect. Everything about it is perfect. Which means that we know this douchebag is going to talk her out of it.

[C]

I mean, I was like, there's. There is not a single thing wrong with it in my point of view, for what she needs and what she wants. $300 per month. Yes. But like, you can. $300 is doable. You can find ways. You adjust your budget, you adjust your spending. That is so good. And it was all so modern and the views were good. The kitchen was a little small, but, like, the kitchen was small in the place she winds up with. Anyway, I was like, what? This is. There's. This is. This is a. This is a wonderful choice. This is.

[D]

Yeah, this really is. And this is a Ben apart. This is a Ben place too. Like, this is your style. This is like your ultimate style. And I love it too. I mean, it just slicks. Well, modern. Yeah, modern. Like, just super modern. Clean lines. It's great. And the. They have kind of a weird. Sunken in. The tub is sunken into the ground, which is as part of the ground.

[C]

Yeah, it's like a shower. But it's also. The shower basin is kind of like the tub. It's like. Yeah, it's. It's weird, but it's kind of cool. I like it.

[D]

Yeah, it is. It is. So that's cool. It's got a really fancy toilet, possibly that cleans your butt for you. We don't know. I haven't. I haven't given it test drive, but that's what it looks like.

[C]

Fully furnished. It has an air conditioner, by the way, which I think is important. And AJ is like, well, this is definitely too fancy. I mean, 100%. I don't think she needs all the material possessions, you know? Yeah, 100%. She needs the material possessions. This is like. This would be so wonderful to live in this space.

[D]

I think so, too. And Ian's like, okay, well, you know, and then the bathtub faces the east and you have a view, so you could sit in the bathtub and look at the view. And AJ's like, oh, so what, you can leave your door open and just let everybody have a look at you while you're having a bath? That sounds great. Actually like this.

[C]

Actually like this.

[D]

Come over. Key to the pdl.

[C]

So Ian's like, I see Erica's face light up, and then I look over at aj and he's sullen. He doesn't want her. He doesn't want her to like this. And he really is. He's a big underminer.

[D]

He is, because he wants, like, convenient friend sex, you know? I don't blame him. Yeah, but she's not. I don't know, she's not like a remote control, you know? It's like, she's not built for your convenience, sir. And anyway, you lose remote controls anyway. Why are we pretending that you don't? So, Ian, why did I go from sex to remote controls? That's how I'm living these days. Just pretend it didn't happen, everybody. So Ian's like, yeah, this guy's depressed. And we see him and he is. He does not like it. And there's a pool, which she loves. And he's like, oh, God, pools. Enjoy that all by yourself, no one.

[C]

To share, just on your swing. And she's like, yeah, be peaceful. He's like, yeah, read as many books and drink as much tea as you want on this stupid swing. That sounds real fun. Having private time, enriching your mind with a book and having a tea. Disgusting.

[D]

She's like, yeah, you know what? I've heard that adults read books. Maybe I'll read books because I'm gonna be a grown up.

[C]

So then Erica is telling us, like, I'm trying to be more adult. And this seems exactly like the perfect place to do that, which is why it's probably going to be the One that I cross offers later on. So then. But she is concerned about the money, you know? And Ian's like, well, is there any way you can get a little extra cheddar? I'm young too, everyone.

[D]

He's like, hip, hip, hippity hop. Step off the curb. Can you get some more cheddar for that? Ballers, ballers. Am I right, yo? And AJ's like, well, yeah, if you work more and party less, if that's the lifestyle you're going for. Grossy, grossy. Josie, Josie. So Ian's like, yeah, am I gonna get my way or is AJ gonna get his way? Let's see whose penis is stronger. So now we go to the beach, and Erica's like, yeah, I mean, I'm a really good surfer for a Canada person, but I doubt they agree here. I was originally trying to surf on a soda cooler, and they told me that was wrong, so I might have something to learn.

[C]

Hard working nurse Erica has left Canada to find a better work life balance. But local buddy AJ only has one Speed diluted.

[D]

And it's a stick shift, and the stick is a boner. So AJ is like, the most important thing here is surf and only surface. But I do work at the cafe because, you know, you gotta work. Well, it's where most surfers probably would work, you know, because I'm a surfer, I don't want to work somewhere surfer wouldn't work. Like, no pit stores for me. You don't need to see surfers at pit stores, do you? Hey, don't see many surfers at banks, do you? Guess where you see surfers. Coffee shops. That's right. You want a mediocre latte, come to me. I know.

[C]

I'm like, memo to self. Find out where AJ works and do not go to that cafe.

[D]

It's like the worst.

[C]

If you want, wait 15 minutes for your latte.

[D]

So now AJ. Oh, and then they continue with AJ, which I like. We see him surfing, and he's like, money, That's a big part of my life. But it's more a tool to get me where I need to go. You know, I connect to my surf craft. That's what I want. I'd sleep anywhere I wanted as long as I know that I could surf every day.

[C]

Yeah. Erica, please separate yourself from this man.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Also like him acting like it's a big. A fresh idea to say that money is a tool for him to get to where he needs to go. Yeah, that's why it's called money. It's a Tool for all of us to do things.

[D]

Dodo bird.

[C]

So Erica's like, surfing is a hobby. I, you know, and I do keep fit, and I like it, but I have other goals and aspirations, like drinking tea and reading books, you know, and having a career and being an adult. Adults read books, right? I want to be an adult. Wow. Without a job, locked down yet, Erica's starting to feel the heat from being a dummy. Huh? Gotcha.

[D]

So Erica says that before coming to Australia, she saved money, but she was traveling, so she spent a lot, and now she needs a job. So Ian's like, okay, looking for what she wants. Will AJ get his way? Probably. Okay. He's got hair there. So I think she's so great. Let's see. So we go over house one again, and now they're going to house two. And it's far. She's like, I'm really concerned. We are driving far from Noosa cafe culture. This is not. This first feels too adult. This is too adult.

[C]

I'm too far away from those cafes serving cold brews that take 20 minutes to come through. So please, this is. This is far from me. So anyway, they go to the hinterland, or also known as the bushlands, and this is where it's more suburban, you know, so. So it's a little bit less. It's not. It's a little farther away from that cafe culture.

[D]

It's funny how they have to explain it to her. She's like, ooh, what is this? And he goes, this is a suburb. This is where more families live. She's like, oh, they have grownups in them. Grownups are here. I love grownups. I'm gonna be one. Do any of them read?

[C]

Is there tea? So AJ's like, oh, I don't think Eric is going to be happy living this far out of town. I mean, where is she going to get a cold brew that's going to take 20 minutes to get to her table? She's committed in the beginning to driving that far, but I think that's. I think she would start to get over it. I think.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, listen, you're going to pay more in fuel, and then, you know, if you have a drink in the town, you're going to have to get a taxi to come out here. That's going to cost money, you know? And she's like, oh, I didn't think more on fuel. But also, maybe I'll become more organized and more of us a grown up, and then I can save some more coin. And he's like, whatever helps.

[C]

Ian's like, by coin do you mean cheddar? Ian also, he also says this weird thing where he says, so in this place you have a self contained basement suite, as we'd call them in Canada. What do they call them in Australia? An uber lubelong.

[D]

A share house. That's what we call it. So this one's cute. It's nothing close to the other one, but it's like, cute. It's. It's bright ish and it's.

[C]

I actually don't think it's bright ish. I think what's nice about it is there's more space because it's a one bedroom, one bathroom as opposed to a studio. And like, the layout is very nice, but it is kind of gloomy because it's in the basement. So you have these windows are sort of like high up. And I don't know, like, I actually do think 15 minutes is a little bit. It is a little bit far away. And you are in the suburbs. And I do feel like you want an adult, but like you also want to have a life to some degree and you're just like living under these people and you're far away from everything. I wasn't totally sold. It's not the worst, but it doesn't.

[D]

Sound like a lot. 15 minutes. But it is. When I moved here to Austin, I was like, well, it's just 30. I'm in the suburb and it's 30 minutes from downtown. So I'm like, okay, 30 minutes from downtown is nothing. Like, who cares, like, if I was sitting on the train or sitting up. It is a lot. It is a lot. And I never go into Austin. Like, it's very rare. I'm like, that's so far. It feels like a day trip. It, you know, like, I pack a little lunch, which is ridiculous. But also in la, you know, living in the Valley, I'm never in, like West Hollywood or any of that anymore because it takes half an hour that I'm not doing it.

[C]

I was gonna say I had this back. I don't know, when is it? 2016 or so. My apartment in Hollywood, they did like renovations on and I had to be out of there for six weeks. And so for those six weeks, I lived in Dom's apartment in North Hollywood because he was out of town doing some shooting something. And so I basically took over his apartment. And so I was like 15 or 20 minutes away from all my friends, which again, he's like, well, whatever. You just go down the highway. It does make a difference. You do kind of feel isolated. I felt like I was in my own little island up there for a while because all my friends were on the other side of the hill and so. And all the things I like to do, all the places I like to go were on the other side, and I was always the one having to go. And it does kind of. You feel like a little like. Like, like, you know, you feel. You feel adrift, you feel cut off.

[D]

Okay, you know what? You know where you would feel like that? In the share house. That's it.

[C]

You know what? If you want a dream pad, you wouldn't feel cut off. You feel like you're in a dream. Okay. That's why it's called a dream pad.

[D]

That's just how it goes. So she's like, oh, my God, fuel. I never thought about fuel. But then we see the open concept living room and the kitchen, dining room, and a little personal laundry. Laundry and bathroom comes furnished. And she has her air conditioner, but it's a little wall unit. It's not like, central area. And so she's like, yeah, very necessary for a Canadian to have an Australia air conditioning. Okay. And the kitchen's nice. She likes that. And AJ's like, it's small. I don't like small kitchens. My place has a much bigger kitchen with a drum set in there.

[C]

Yeah. Ian's like, well, I think that. I think that AJ can be quite persuasive, and he has some good arguments, and I think he's going to advise her not to take this place. Even though the amount of cheddar she'll be spending is exactly as much as.

[D]

She wants it to mean. It depends on how many bags she wants to spend.

[C]

Stacks on stacks on stacks. So the bedroom is fine. Everything's fine. It's just. It's sort of gloomy, you know? And there's a nice little backyard area. And she's like, wow, my very own barbecue. I actually don't even know how to use one of these, but I'll put that on the list of things I need to learn as an adult. Can you barbecue books? Let's try.

[D]

You can now. It's very popular in the States these days. It's like, oh, maybe I should have chosen there to be grown up.

[C]

I'll be making shrimp on the barbie before you know it. And he's just like, they're called prawns. Oh, stupid, stupid Canadian. Basically American.

[D]

She's like, okay, well, blame Crocodile Dundee. Like, what the did I do? I didn't come up with that.

[C]

I really do like this place. My own kitchen, living space, bedroom, ac.

[D]

Book.

[C]

Book, barbecue. The only downside is that it's not Noosa cafe culture. Am I right? What is it? This is a real adult decision.

[D]

Do I really want to be a looser. Not from Noosa. So AJ's like, well, and. But, you know, listen, you're also gonna be surfing twice a day in the summer, if I have anything to say about it. You're gonna be back and forth paying 1200amonth plus fuel, and that's just the surf. Then there's shops. You have to drive to those, too. You're gonna be going back and forth and back and forth. Oh, my God, So much driving. So come check out my place. Just come check out my place. You're gonna love it. It smells like. Like KY and just ky mostly.

[C]

Sometimes we'll get a pizza that doesn't really sometimes get a Glade plugin. We get a Glade plugin that smells like apple. Apple pie. But people don't really like the mix of that with the ky. Well, with no more solo place to show Erica, Ian is stuck as AJ takes the lead. So come on, come along. As we watch a come stained house. So now Ian is like. Ian's like, what am I even doing here? I guess I'm gonna go along. I'm a real. I'm a realtor. Why am I touring this place?

[D]

He's like, now I'm following a surfer dude to his place to see if he can rent her a place. I don't know how my life has come to this, but here we are. And in the beginning, he's like, hey, guys, I just want to tell you, I normally sell real estate. Okay. But you're pretty cute, so I'm gonna. I'll find something for you to rent. I was like, oh, wow. And thank you so much for coming all the way down from that mountain that you live on.

[C]

Yeah. He's like, do I still get commission if you get this sharehouse? Because otherwise, I'm wasting a lot of time.

[D]

Yeah. So AJ met Eric on her first. First trip to Noosa. And now he's her quote unquote, right hand, quote, unquote man for her quote unquote mood, and maybe more quote unquote.

[C]

I used to have a right hand man. His name is Fritz and worked at the Red Lobster. We had good times together. Anywho, back to Noosa.

[D]

AJ's like, how did you know I was a right hand man? I could tell it was the one with the calluses on it.

[C]

Don't talk to me. I'm in a recording booth. You're not supposed to see me.

[D]

So they do the AJ Olsen friend again, and now they're on the beach. And AJ's like, I was surprised that she was moving here. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. I wasn't expecting it, but then I got it. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I bet that threw you off your game a little bit. Haha. And he's like, yeah, Erica's just like quirky and just fun to be around. I mean, the way that she's always throwing books on the barbie, it's kind of funny. Yeah. And we are opposite, but I think a good balance. He's dirty and gross and doesn't want to grow up, and I want to grow up. So look, it's funny. Dynamics, huh?

[D]

Well, you could say that I don't live in reality. I really feel that Erica needs to take a breath and incorporate the universal flow back into her life. Hey, you know what you need to incorporate into your life? Some universal deodorant, okay? Fuck you talking about universal flow? Get the fuck out of here. Make my life latte.

[C]

So Ian's like, well, I thought I came in to help Erica, but I didn't realize how hard it was going to be because she brought a vagrant along for the house hunt. Well, with the vacancy rate being 0.5% ANUSA heads, I really, I have nothing else to show her, so I guess I'm just gonna see what a bunch of stinky surfers do and how they live their lives.

[D]

I just want to advise you, don't let him stay too long anywhere you are, because. Not really sure on rentals, but I'm pretty sure we have squatter rights here, so be careful.

[C]

Be careful. So they. So the, the. The share house is going to be two minutes from the shops and two minutes from the surf. And they that this way they can go off to morning surfs before work. So they get to the AJ's house and Ian is so disgusted by this. He's like disgusted and professionally insulted that they have to do this. And he's like, so is this the, Is this the quote unquote fun house? Know what I'm saying? Hell, the. All the crazy kids making all that cheddar at the cafe.

[D]

Yeah. And he's like, yeah, isn't it great? I mean, look at this. There's the corner we masturbate in and there's the couch that we masturbate on, and there's the tv. We masturbate, too. And then there's some tissues. Those are for blowing our nose. But if you're masturbating and need something for that, there's socks on the ground you can always use. That's pretty much it. Also, there's a drum over there, and there's a big collection of pubic hair with a hole that you pee into. It's right over there. And we had a shower, but we turned it into a bar because, like, let's be honest, who takes showers? I mean, what are we, a bunch of wussies? All right, Nobody does that.

[C]

So Erica says the last time she was here, there were campers parked on the lawn and people were in and out of the bathrooms in the bedrooms constantly. And I was like, yep, that's a pass. That's a pass. Pasadena for me.

[D]

Let's.

[C]

We already know X cross this off. Also, if you're banging this guy after all, you definitely don't want to be living under the same roof as him. So, yeah, let's say. Let's just. We don't have. We don't even have to go inside. Okay.

[D]

Yeah, it's pretty bad. The bedroom is just, you know, a tiny little basement room with the bed in the middle. And she's like, well, my only concern here is that there's only a ceiling fan and a small window that I cannot possibly crawl out of when I need to escape after one of you starts this place on fire with a bong. Like, we know that's going to happen, happen. So.

[C]

And. And Ian goes, that's your only concern? I actually think, to the credit of the Sharehouse, the share house was more modern and. And cleaner than I expected. They did a nice job cleaning it up for tv. I don't think it normally looks as nice as this, but it was. I. I thought it was going to be just, like, cracks in the wall, just like. Just like the shittiest, shittiest house. But it was. It had some modern fixtures to its credit.

[D]

No house with a drum set in the kitchen is ever this clean. I just don't believe this. Like, one of their moms came over.

[C]

Someone came over to make it nice, for sure.

[D]

Yeah, I agree with you.

[C]

And then AJ says this. So he has. There's no air conditioner in the bedroom. And so she's like, yeah, I need air conditioning. And AJ goes, oh, well, just crank the fan, and if you're still hot, you just go outside.

[A]

What?

[D]

Where it's hot?

[C]

That's not how you Go to sleep at night. You can't just go. You can't just go outside in the middle of your sleep.

[D]

And who escapes the summer heat by going outside?

[C]

If you're still hot, just go outside. I don't think so.

[D]

Right directly into the sun. I mean, come on. So it's 900amonth, which is hilarious. That is way too much. And she goes, yeah, I mean, I'll consider that if it means saving up money for something else. Like, oh, God, how much does hydrogen peroxide cost? How much is penicillin here? Can you get that over the counter?

[A]

Or.

[D]

Or.

[C]

Yeah. They go in the bathroom and the.

[D]

The.

[C]

The lid is up. And she's like, so I'm sharing the bathroom with somebody. He's like, well, yeah, I mean, you have a roommate here, but we'll. We'll teach him to be better. I'm like, there will be no teaching. There will be no improvements. Behavior.

[D]

So she's like, yeah, like, I've lived in share houses with boys. They don't pee in the toilet. They pee all over the floor. They leave the seat open. You know, they leave little, little surprises in the toilet. Yeah, it's not. It's not great.

[C]

Yeah, they go into the kitchen and everything, and there's this drum set in the living room. And so Ian's like, so I noticed there's a drum set. Who plays? And he's like, well, actually, none of us. It's just been put here so when there's parties, anyone can get up and have, you know, they can just play like a little jam. Well, sometimes even though we don't know how to play, we can just get on there and bang it. Because you know that even if they don't, you know, this group, none of them know how to play the drum, but they're gonna sit there and they're gonna bang them anyway. So what's worse than a drummer is someone who doesn't even know how to play the drums. So you have this weird discordant beat.

[D]

There's literally nothing worse than just having a community drum set. Okay? But I am competing with that because in la, I bought a piano and I was so excited because I've never had a real piano. Like, I've electric pianos, but I've never had, like, a real piano. I was so excited to get one. Nope. The first thing people do, they come over and they see that and they all sit down and they start banging stupid shit on this piano. Nobody knows how to play it and start banging like, chopsticks on There I'm like, oh, God. And now here's the obligatory 30 minutes I have to sit here and listen to you play Chopsticks. Badly. I'm getting rid of that thing.

[C]

Don't get rid of it. You can't get rid of it?

[D]

No, I'm not getting rid of it, but I am considering getting some kind of a lock to put on the.

[C]

Yeah, you should do that.

[D]

Can you do that? Like, do they have.

[C]

I don't. I'm sure there's something that you can do where it's like. Or just put up a sign that says, no touching. Yeah.

[D]

Because then I'll look like an. You have to have it locked. I could be like, oh, my God. I locked in. Now I can't find the key. Sorry.

[C]

I'm sure there's a piano cover lock. I guarantee it.

[D]

Yeah, it's gotta be there. I don't know. So anyway, now she's checking out the kitchen. She goes, oh, my God, Dirty dishes, my favorite. And he goes, oh, mom didn't get that one. She's fired.

[C]

Yeah, they left, man. You're on tv, and you left dirty dishes in there. No good.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And he goes, well, that's what happens when you live with people. I was like, don't you get snotty now, aj. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So Erica's like, yeah, that's right. That's what happens when you live with people. Which is kind of my point, babe. So it's like, let's look at the Paul Deke. So they go out and there's a deck, which is nice.

[C]

Nice.

[D]

It looks nice. Yeah, it's pretty.

[C]

It's big. Yeah.

[D]

And he's like, there's a bit of a veggie garden out there. It's all grown with poop and pee because the manure is made out of poop. And then we pee on it, and watermelon comes out. It's amazing.

[C]

So Ian's. Ian's like, so what do you think about it? She goes, well, you know, I'm trying to be an adult, right? And the toilet seat up isn't the most ideal. And it's really close to the beach and cafe culture. And I do. Like, the rent is cheaper. And he's like, yeah, but, you know, for, like, 900amonth, it's definitely worth it. She's like, yeah, but, like, I think the trail of pubes going from each room is really kind of gross to me, so I don't know about that.

[D]

So it's like, well, if Ian thought I was trying to take his job then. Good. That creates conflict so I can try and get Erica to come live with me. Like that. He's not even subtle. He's like, nope. I am a toxic male who is trying to get this girl in my house and make a party all the time so she can never save up money and afford to leave me. Good plan.

[C]

Yeah. I. Yeah. So now it's time to. To consider the places. So the first one that they cross off is the best one. The dream bad is out first. I was. I was so mad. I can't even. I was like, there's never been a more perfect studio. Like, a lot of times when they show studios on this show, they're. They're just awful. They're just. I'm always like, how does anyone live in this thing? But this one was a damn near perfect studio. That is only 300 over.

[D]

I know, but $300 could be two days of work.

[C]

I know, but it's like, if you're trying to be an adult, like one. Like, you can find more adult ways to budget yourself. Yeah.

[D]

I don't know. It seems just so much more expensive, but it is so much nicer, and it's close to what she wants. Wants to do. And the other one is so far. So she's like, okay, well, that one's. This one is a dream. I would be so happy here. Let's cross it off the list. And he's like, yes.

[C]

If she sa. I just wanted to say if she saves. If she saves $10 every day in a month, she can afford her dream pad.

[D]

Wow. Rich dad, poor dad. Much math in someone's mad.

[C]

Don't spend 10 extra dollars every month. Every day for the month. You have 300 extra dollars in your. In your pocket, and you can afford the dream pad. It'll be worth it. Okay. Find ways. Find ways you can do it.

[D]

That's true. So it's called being an adult. The other place is really far, but it's 1200, and it's nice. And then the third place is AJ Sharehouse, which is such a joke. I can't even believe this girl got screwed over and had to even pretend she was going to live in this place. So she. She fakes it, though. She's like, you know, I. Oh. So they're talking it over, and he's like, yeah, that place isn't worth it. Get rid of it. And she goes, yeah, and the basement suite's pretty sweet. And he's like, but it's so far and so much money. On fuel. And she goes, okay, but then there's your house. And your house, you know, like, it had a private bedroom, but shared bathroom in the kitchen. And. And I don't know. The price is good and the location is absolutely incredible. So I'm not living there. Are you fucking kidding me? No.

[C]

No, aj, she chooses the basement sweet home, which I'm just glad she didn't choose the share house. The basement sweet home is perfectly fine, just not as nice as the other one. So now we see, three months later, she's made it look very nice. She's wearing this cute yellow outfit and everything. And she's. She's like. She keeps it clean. She goes, I'm able to go grocery shopping like an adult would, that she's like, I can put groceries in my fridge. Like, the way. The way adults put groceries in their fridge. Because when I was a child, the way I would put the groceries in is I would just, like, take the bag and just spill it all out on the floor. But now that I'm an adult, I put it in the fridge.

[D]

Yeah, I'm an adult now. I'm very grown up. The other day for dinner, I ate a book. It was. I'll get used to it. I'll get used to it. So she's like, this is my adult cave. You can call it that, aj. He goes, yeah. And you're drinking beer, so that's good. Good. Drink a little more. Drink a little more beer. Drink a little more.

[C]

So she basically got used to the 15 minute drive to the beach, and she got a job at the hospital, and she's gonna pick up an extra shift, and she's all. She's. She's not really grown up, but, like, when she's 30, she'll get her stuff together. So a happy ending for Erica.

[D]

Yeah. So it was pretty cute. That was a good one. And we never found out what happened to the realtor. This is one of the only times almost to see the realtor be upset about something.

[C]

Just.

[D]

I felt like he deserved it. He was. He was too. He was trying to dad her too much. I didn't like it.

[C]

Yeah. Well, thanks, everyone, for listening, and thanks. You said it was Michelle who sent it in?

[D]

It was Michelle. Thank you, Michelle, for sending it in. We will talk to you in a couple weeks, everybody. Thanks for being part of Wonder Plus. Bye. Bye.

[A]

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Top tier comedy right here.

[C]

The best representation of sitting around with a group of idiots playing D and D. And it's not something you're just watching, it's something that you're experiencing. Download Greetings Adventurers wherever you listen to podcasts. Can't wait to see the next episode. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.