Watch What Crappens – Dwell Hello #511: Quirky in Queensland

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: May 22, 2025
Episode Theme:
In this episode of "Dwell Hello," Ben and Ronnie recap a House Hunters: International episode titled “Quirky in Queensland.” The focus is on an American couple – Chris and Ash – relocating from New Jersey and New Orleans to Queensland, Australia. The hosts dissect the couple’s self-professed “quirky” dynamic, their unusual collections (plane safety cards and novelty mugs), and their search for a new home, all while providing their signature snarky humor and commentary.

Main Points & Discussion Breakdown

1. Meet the "Quirky" Couple: Chris and Ash

• Chris: Collects plane safety cards, obsessed with aviation, recently took a job at a Queensland hospital.
• Ash: Collects mugs, proud of her “quirkiness” (sunflower dress, mug obsession), does not drive, formerly worked at a Hallmark store.
• Both try “extremely hard to be weird,” which rubs the hosts the wrong way.
• Ronnie: “You know where they call you quirky? They call you quirky at the host stand of the claim jumper. Okay? You know what they mean? You’re fucking obnoxious.” (01:16)

2. Hosts' Deep Dive into Collections

• Ronnie derides Chris’s safety card collection, suggesting he’s endangering other passengers.
• Both hosts find Ash’s mug collection mundane and irritating.
  • Ben: “The mug thing actually annoys me more than the safety card thing. Because at least the safety card thing is unique. But a lot of people collect mugs.” (03:12)
• Ronnie shares his own Golden Girls Sophia mug saga; Ben notes we all have too many mugs, but only use a few: “You acquire all these mugs, but the truth is you’re not really... in a rotation with them.” (05:37)

3. Apologies to the World: Americans Abroad

• Ronnie laments how Americans like Chris and Ash remind him of why Americans must apologize abroad.
  • Ronnie: “As Americans, we’re doing a lot of apologizing these days to people in other countries. And I just want to extend that again.” (06:26)
• Snarking on Ash's “quirkiness” and her alleged impact on the local reputation: “Australians have started just walking into the ocean and never coming back out.” (07:26)

4. Real Estate Agent Olivia & Mackay’s “Sugar Capital” Lie

• Olivia: The bubbly real estate agent, mocked for her “princess dress” and unusual inflection.
• The hosts gleefully debunk Olivia’s claim that Mackay is the “sugar capital of the world.”
  • Ben (after Googling): “The sugar capital world has historically been associated with Cuba, but this title now more accurately is given to Brazil and India.” (13:10)
  • Ronnie: “Keeping punitive M&Ms in your fucking glove compartment doesn't make you the sugar capital of the world, okay? It makes you a food addict.” (13:19)

5. The Home Search: Three Strikes…

House 1: The “Beach Hut” (17:30–22:59)

• Pros: Right across from the ocean, within budget.
• Cons: Unfurnished, small, ugly, poorly constructed, remote from shops and hospital, Ash worries about drive and walkability.
  • Ronnie: “This is not a cute house. Can I just say, not cute. Ugly. It looks like prison.” (21:05)
  • Ash laments mug storage.
  • Hosts annoyed that even within her stated budget, Ash complains about cost.

House 2: The “Inner City 90s Pad” (25:51–29:33)

• Pros: Close to the hospital, walkable to downtown, comes furnished, ample mug storage/kitchen.
• Cons: One bedroom, “ugly” 90s décor (Sunflower-wear Ash still calls the yellow couch tacky), no ocean view.
  • Ben: “Collecting mugs is very 90s, if you ask me.” (27:53)
  • Ronnie: “You can't say you're quirky without having a space that reminds you of, like, I don't know, Sheryl Crowe.” (29:34)

House 3: Modern Farmhouse with an Ocean View (32:16–34:55)

• Pros: Modern, spacious, ocean view, ideal for Ash; “the one to take” per Ben.
• Cons: Remote — would require a second car and be a 30-minute drive to Chris’s hospital job.

6. Quirk Overload: Driving Down under & Couple Dynamics

• Ash’s inability and unwillingness to drive is dramatized for (and by) the hosts, who find her antics performative and grating.
  • “It’s like the quirky ass driving scene. She’s like, Oh my God. Oh my God, I can't do it.” (23:29)
• Their dynamic: Chris as the mellow/bored listener, Ash a constant talker, quirkiness as a performative trait.
  • Chris: “One of our big differences is that I like to talk. And he's like, and I don't. Well, it's more like I don't really get a chance to." (24:32)

7. Notable Quotes & Recurring Bits

• Ronnie: “If I was a realtor and someone said ‘I’m looking for a kitchen that will fit my mug collection,’ I would quit my fucking job right then and there.” (03:40)
• Ben: “Why do I feel like she [Olivia] walks down the street with an oversized lollipop and like, ‘Welcome to the sugar capital of the world.’” (13:36)
• Commentary on Ash’s beach obsession:
  • “Does the beach love you? Can we take a poll?” (35:40)
  • “If you’re someone who trips very easily, maybe walking along the ocean, the coast, is not the best thing to do.” (30:00)

8. Decision & Epilogue

• Elimination: The hut is too small/ugly/far; the farmhouse too far for work/needs a second car.
• Choice: They (predictably) pick the inner city, 90s pad—despite all complaints—because it’s furnished, affordable, and walkable.
  • Ash follows through with her couch “sheet” scheme; hosts deride it as “tacky as hell.” (36:23)
• Coda: They have a new dog (Rolo), and their oddness/host-driven judgments persist. Visiting friends are bewildered by their choice.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:16 — Riffing on "quirky" people & defining the episode's dynamic
• 03:12 — Mug/safety card collection debate & family anecdotes begin
• 06:26 — “Apologies to the world” for Americans abroad
• 13:10 — Sugar capital debunked and roasted
• 17:30–22:59 — Beach Hut viewing and breakdown
• 25:51–29:33 — The “inner city 90s” house viewing
• 32:16–34:55 — Farmhouse (modern) viewing and “this is the one” sentiment
• 36:23 — Epilogue: Which house they choose & verdict on the couple's taste

Tone & Noteworthy Moments

• Sarcastic, exasperated, and hyperbolic — the hosts take a mile from every inch of “quirk.”
• Ongoing mockery of Ash’s mug obsession, her “quirky” identity, and Chris’s aviation fixations.
• Numerous meta-observations on the House Hunters format, the performativity of “quirky” TV couples, and the emotional toll of enduring this episode.
  • Ronnie: “I usually don't hate the people on House Hunters… But this one, I was like, oh, no, you guys need to stop. You need to kill Ash. Kill Ash.” (38:03)

Summary Takeaway

Ben and Ronnie, in top Crappens form, eviscerate the earnest but try-hard couple of this House Hunters: International, poking fun at both the couple’s “quirky” self-branding and the show’s tired tropes. The house hunt is really a backdrop for the hosts’ comedic takedowns, detours on mug culture and American expats, and a deeper existential fatigue wrought by “quirky” as a personality type. If you delight in Bravo snark and reality realness, this is a classic episode for the “terrible House Hunters couples” hall of fame.