Watch What Crappens Ep. 519: Dwell Hello – From Rocket City to Studying Space in Strasbourg

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam<br> Date: September 18, 2025

Main Theme / Purpose

In this “Dwell Hello” edition, Ben and Ronnie dissect a delightfully odd House Hunters International episode titled “From Rocket City to Studying Space in Strasbourg.” The episode follows Amy, an Alabama educator, her charmingly anxious husband Jonathan, and their two kids as they relocate from Huntsville (“Rocket City”), Alabama, to Strasbourg, France, so Amy can chase her dream of earning a master’s at the International Space University. As usual, Ben and Ronnie hilariously praise, mock, and psychoanalyze everything: bad hair choices, possibly closeted husbands, anime-level French real estate agents, and the eternal American quest for a giant fridge in Europe.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Dwell Hello” Setup & Amy’s Hair as Main Character

• Ben found this House Hunters International episode during an HGTV marathon with his mom; Amy’s “helmet” hair instantly sealed it (04:54).
• The hosts riff on Amy’s transformation from flowing locks to what Ben calls “Republican congresswoman hair,” or “Margaret Thatcher hair” (05:14–06:40).
  • Quote: “She’s like, ‘I’ve already got a helmet. I’m ready for space travel.’” – Ronnie (05:56)
  • They joke that this is the ultimate no-fun haircut and mock her for prepping her look for France: “I want my hair to look like a macaron.” – Ben (12:08)

2. The Husband – Jonathan’s Energy

• The hosts speculate (affectionately and pointedly) about Jonathan’s possible queerness, suggesting he’s “the dream” closeted gay husband—sweet, tame, supportive, and “just wants to pack lunches and have a pretty house” (07:18–08:38).
• Ben riffs, “He’s like a little sweet Alabamian Ryan Seacrest, which, you know, really paints a picture in my mind.” (13:05)

3. Family Dynamics & Relocation

• Amy is leaving a NASA-supporting education job to follow her dual dreams of “space and living in France” (13:41–14:12).
  • Quote: “It lets me pursue both my dreams, which are space and living in France. God, I wish France was in space.” – Ronnie (14:12)
• Jonathan is a mortgage broker leaving his job, nervous about the French system and being a stay-at-home dad (15:28).
  • Memorable quote: “In France, they’re more interested in being pre-disapproved.” – Ben (16:15)
• The family includes two kids (William, 12, and Caroline, 10) and two neurotic dogs.

4. The Strasbourg Real Estate Market & Cultural Clashes

• Enter Eleanor, their deadpan French realtor, who describes Strasbourg as “a green city” with “buoyant” rental market and a hint of dread at dealing with American requests (18:28–19:14).
  • Quote: “Which is my way of saying, this can be fucking annoying dealing with these people over here.” – Ben mocking Eleanor (19:14)
• Bike lanes terrify the Americans (“We voted them down!”), and the idea of only one bathroom is appalling (“Where do you guys…do you guys just not poop over there?”) (21:08–21:21).
  • Ronnie and Ben extemporize on European poop customs, concluding, “We drop small wooden beads once every three days.” – Ronnie (21:33)

5. The Family’s Wish List: American Excess vs. European Reality

• The couple wants: central city, three bedrooms, two baths, balcony, dog friendly, European charm, modern amenities, comfort, all for $2,400/month (24:26–25:07).
• Ben: “Only single people who don’t poop live here generally.” (25:07)
• Eleanor deadpans about Amy’s hair: “We don’t have this style here in France.” (26:03)

6. Viewing the Apartments – The Running Gags

• Apartment 1: Modern, central, but small, with an odd grate table and one bath, “long commute” to the university (26:25–28:23).
  • Jonathan marvels at the rooftop views; Amy is confused by a “kitchen table near a dining table” (29:55–30:21).
  • The weird grate table inspires a riff about dropping crumbs straight to the floor (“Kids are pigs!” – Ronnie, 30:21).
• Apartment 2: Historic, French charm, semi-furnished, over-budget by $350/month, two baths, 45-min tram ride to ISU (38:17–39:33).
  • Amy swoons: “I’ve dreamt of this since I was a little girl.” (39:01)
  • Ben, pragmatic: “If you can take a tram, that helps—you can nap, listen to podcasts…” (39:33–40:07)
• Apartment 3: Suburban, ugly from outside, fully furnished, one weird bathroom, cheap, but the décor is an “80s maroon and concrete prison” (45:10–46:36).
  • “This is disgusting. I’ve shat out better house designs than this, lady!” – Ronnie (45:10)
  • The hosts riff at length on the interior’s “cement wash,” “matte and shiny” surfaces, and inexplicable yellow bedrooms.

7. The Ongoing Bits: Dogs, Children, and Villainous Parental Assignments

• Amy repeatedly assigns her daughter to the tiniest room regardless of house configuration (“Here’s the laundry closet…Caroline can sleep here.”) (49:41).
• Constant pokes at the apparent disregard for the dogs’ or children’s emotional well-being, especially as Amy justifies the move as necessary “hard for growth.” (“The hard gives them growth.” – Ronnie, 35:42)

8. Cultural Awkwardness & French Culture Shock

• At a French wine and cheese shop, Amy asks, “Is everything here French?” (43:10)
  • The hosts riff on bringing American mayonnaise and Huntsville references to France.
• Subtext of French sensibility healing Amy’s haircut and sorting family members’ life issues (“That haircut’s gonna last three months before French women ‘fix her right up.’” – Ben, 50:43)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Amy’s ‘Helmet’ Hair:
  • “She’s like, ‘I’ve already got a helmet. I’m ready for space travel.’” – Ronnie (05:56)
  • “I want my hair to look like a macaron.” – Ben (12:08)
• On Husband Jonathan’s Sweetness:
  • “His goal in life? I want a pretty house that I can clean for you. That’s everybody’s goal husband, right?” – Ronnie (08:38)
• On French Real Estate:
  • “Which is my way of saying, this can be fucking annoying dealing with these people over here.” – Ben as Eleanor (19:14)
  • “Only single people who don’t poop live here generally.” – Ben (25:07)
• On Christening Rooms for Kids:
  • “Here’s the laundry closet...Caroline can sleep here.” – Ronnie (49:41)
• On Alabama’s Influence:
  • “Your diction is disturbing, sir. I can see your throat.” – Ronnie on Seacrest-y delivery (13:16)
• Favorite Ongoing Riff:
  • “We drop small wooden beads once every three days.” – Ronnie (21:33)
• French Cultural Conflicts:
  • “We expressly forbid [bike lanes] in our town. We voted them down.” – Ben as Jonathan (25:35)
  • “Do you have any of our Huntsville mayonnaise?” – Ben (43:15)
• Closing Observation:
  • “I’m just happy for her because I feel like being in Strasbourg...that haircut has, like, it’s gonna last for three more months before she’s gonna cater to the sneers of all the French women.” – Ben (50:43)

Important Segments & Timestamps

• [04:54] – Discovery of the episode; Amy’s haircut clothing the deal
• [05:14 - 06:40] – Hair analysis and political hairstyle metaphors
• [07:18 - 08:38] – Jonathan as possibly queer, “ideal” husband: sweet and supportive
• [13:41 - 14:12] – Amy’s dual dream: France + Space
• [15:28 - 16:15] – Jonathan’s mortgage career and “pre-disapproved” line
• [18:28 - 19:14] – Enter Eleanor, the long-suffering realtor
• [21:08 - 21:33] – Toilet humor, American bathroom expectations
• [25:07] – “Only single people who don’t poop live here generally.”
• [26:25 - 28:23] – Apartment 1 viewing, weird kitchen table
• [38:17 - 39:33] – Apartment 2, French charm vs. long commute
• [45:10 - 46:36] – Suburban “cement wash” monstrosity, maroon kitchen
• [49:16 - 49:41] – Final choice and the ongoing “Caroline’s closet” gag
• [50:43] – Prognosis on Amy’s haircut “healing” in France

Final Thoughts

Ben and Ronnie joyously eviscerate House Hunters International’s typical American-in-Europe anxiety—the cravings for comfort, the “shock” at bathroom arrangements, and a hilarious culture clash that peaks with Amy’s hair being treated like a diplomatic incident. Their signature mixture of sharp observation, wild speculation, and affectionate mockery turns what could be a gentle home-shopping docu-soap into side-splitting, gay-coded, stream-of-consciousness improv.

Listeners are left rooting for Amy, Jonathan, and their slightly terrified children—and their future French friends who’ll have to explain why no one has a “grate” kitchen table, or more than one loo.

Suggested For:

Anyone looking for a wickedly funny, deeply detailed Bravo/house-hunting recap that doubles as a loving roast of awkward Americans in Europe.

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