Dwell Hello #520: Drag Room or Art Studio in Alabama

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Dwell Hello #520: Drag Room or Art Studio in Alabama

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: October 2, 2025
Main Theme: Recapping and hilariously dissecting an episode of House Hunters: "Drag Room or Art Studio in Alabama," as an atypical gay couple navigates low-budget house-hunting in Montgomery, Alabama—with the age-old dilemma: who gets the extra bedroom for their hobby?

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Episode Overview

Ben and Ronnie recap Season 254, Episode 6 of House Hunters, in which Mel, a cheerleading gym owner and part-time drag queen, and Kyle, an Air Force officer and arts-and-crafts enthusiast, uproot from Florida to Montgomery, Alabama. The couple's conundrum: balancing mid-century dreams, historic home preferences, and an ultra-tight budget—while each demands a dedicated creative space. Cue the signature Crappens blend of Bravo wit, affectionate mockery, and design snark.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Mel & Kyle: Lackluster Energy and Clashing Tastes

• Low-Energy Drag Queen Vibes ([03:07])
  • Ronnie notes: “Now I was expecting like a big larger than life drag queen. This was a very low energy drag queen. Is that a thing now or drag queens are just like low energy?”
  • Ben quips in agreement, suggesting Mel is truly “leaning into the drag part of drag queen. Like, life is a bit of a drag sometimes.”
• Exhaustion is the Mood
  • Running joke throughout: Mel finds everything, especially walking, “exhausting.” ([10:19])
  • “How was your walk?” – “Exhausting. I hate walking.” (Mel, as cited by Ben, [10:19])
• Contrasting Personalities
  • Ben: “Two people who have the personality equivalent of drywall are trying to somehow convince us they’re in search of character.” ([07:30])
• Their Disconnected Design Dreams
  • Kyle wants “historical charm.”
  • Mel wants “groovy seventies vibe”/“mid-century modern”—though neither seems to know what that means. ([07:40],[15:22])
  • Mel is obsessed with a “bright front door” while Kyle is about “defined spaces” ([16:12], [18:02]).

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2. The Budget Conundrum—and That Range Rover

• Raging Against Penny-Pinching
  • Mel wants to cap at $150k, Kyle’s comfortable up to $250k.
  • Ben and Ronnie lose it over their car:
    • “They are driving a Range Rover through this entire episode. ...Sell your fucking Range Rover and get a nicer house. I’m sorry, I don’t want to hear it.” (Ben, [08:11])
    • “That car’s as much as the house.” ([08:55])
    • “It was always a guy getting into these cars every single time...I think that’s a guy thing.” (Ronnie)
• Cheap Flips and Depressing Real Estate
  • The guys roast every bland flip: “really bad $5 flip with the gray walls and shitty LVP floors.” ([06:49])

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3. Relationship Dynamics: Quips, Drag, and Art

• Household Roles & Marital Timeline
  • “Mel and Kylie...Melancholy! That’s what they are right there.” ([11:03])
  • “This is a lesbian timeline, it’s not a gay timeline. This is very strange.” (Ben, on their quick marriage, [11:23])
• Hobby Room Battles
  • Each insists on a private room: Mel for drag (and storing “hundreds of gowns"—well, maybe a hundred, but “still a lot”), Kyle for art. ([19:23])
  • “Age old dilemma—it rears its ugly head yet again. Art room or drag room?” (Ben, [48:20])
• Mel’s Relentless Exhaustion and Counter-Sitting
  • Running jokes about Mel’s tiredness and his habit of sitting on kitchen counters. ([15:00], [17:51])

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4. Design Ignorance & Gay Culture Riffs

• Misunderstanding of “Mid-Century Modern”
  • Ben: “Are homes from the 70s mid-century modern?...No, no. What is it?...Mid-century is like 50s, 60s.” ([15:14])
  • Ronnie: “It’s also a specific style...Not just anything from the 50s.”
• Front Door Obsession
  • Mel’s fixation with door color is lampooned:
    • “Paint the door! People, paint the door.” ([16:45])
• Pop-Culture Asides
  • Sasha Colby concert inspires reflection on drag as childlike art form and gay culture.
  • Touches on Drag Race, Mrs. Roper’s house, Golden Girls, and Mad Men’s iconic sunken living rooms. ([13:36], [38:53])

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5. The Homes: A House-by-House Roast

| House | Description | Their (and Crappens) Reactions | |------|-------------|---------------------------------| | 1 | 1914 Craftsman (listed $235k) | "Actually kind of cute" but “depressing” due to cheap flips inside ([25:46]). “Tall ceilings” win some favor, but mismatched floors and weird kitchens draw derision. “Is there insulation?” ([31:45]) | | 2 | 1956 Mid-Century Ranch ($180k) | Classic brick, all rooms separated, feels “claustrophobic” to Mel; original blue-tiled bathroom is “disgusting” to them, but Ben: “Most people would walk into that bathroom and be like, ‘This is perfect.’” ([41:15]) | | 3 | Ranch-style w/ blue door ($195k) | Mel loves the blue door (“so we’re done here”), but hates the brick color. “Generic," "I do not remember much of it.” Kitchen missing range, yard fence broken—generates more snark about cheap expectations. ([43:36]) |

• Notable Roast Quotes:
  • “This is not a chef’s house. Do you see the house that you’ve decided to look at and you’re like, where’s the chef’s kitchen?” (Ben, [45:40])
  • “[Mel] goes ‘ooh, I love the door!’ So we’re done here.” (Ronnie, [44:14])

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6. Final Choices & Aftermath

• House Picked:

  • They shock the hosts by picking House #2, “the ugliest one...I don’t know why I was surprised. They took the worst one.” (Ronnie, [50:16])
  • “It was just a blank canvas for my art realm.” (Mel)

• After Photos & Design Critique

  • Ben: “I did not like what they did with it...I thought they did one room well...but I did not like their choices.” ([50:54])
  • Ronnie, slightly more generous: “It was tacky, but considering their taste level, I was worried.”

• Mel's Drag & Their New Life

  • Mel dons a “big blonde wig” resembling the “lady who works at the Target on La Brea” ([51:30]).
  • Both keep the Florida house and Range Rover, and Mel can continue remotely running his gym—so, as Ben puts it:
    • “They got the best of all worlds...follow your hobbies, be with your hubby, and drive an overpriced car.” ([52:03])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Drag Inspiration:
  • “It was like watching a little kid dressing up in their mom’s clothes and just making an art form out of it...It was so creative and so good. I was so inspired, I just loved it.” – Ronnie ([03:20])
• On Budget & Range Rover:
  • “Sell your fucking Range Rover and get a nicer house. I’m sorry, I don’t want to hear it.” – Ben ([08:11])
• On Character:
  • “Two people who have the personality equivalent of drywall are trying to somehow convince us they’re in search of character.” – Ben ([07:30])
• On Home Design Trends:
  • “I think walls are going to come back in style because people realize...when you see families, ‘Oh my God, it’s open concept, so while I’m cooking, I can watch the kids play.’ And then they get it and they’re like, ‘Oh, just want to get away from these kids.’” – Ronnie ([33:32])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Mel’s exhaustion and low-energy drag jokes – [03:07], [10:19], [11:03]
• Budget/Range Rover rant – [08:11], [08:55]
• “Mid-century” definition confusion – [15:14]
• First house walkthrough/analysis – [25:46 – 35:25]
• Second house – “grandma’s house” gripes – [36:04 – 41:37]
• Third house critique and dog discussion – [43:36 – 48:44]
• Decision and after-pictures reaction – [49:22 – 50:54]
• Final wrap up: Mel in drag and triumphant Range Rover life – [51:30 – 52:28]

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Tone and Language

• The hosts maintain a tone of affectionate ribbing, sharp design commentary, and gay pop-culture references. They oscillate between mockery and genuine delight, punctuated with snappy one-liners, running gags (Mel’s exhaustion; the overvalued Range Rover), and plenty of good-natured exasperation at House Hunters tropes.

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Summary Takeaway

While the house hunt itself is depressingly low-energy and plagued by taste confusion and budget self-sabotage, Ben and Ronnie’s recap makes every drag room, art studio, and painted door an occasion for sharp pop-culture banter and sly social commentary. Ultimately, Mel and Kyle get their “blank canvas" and “room for 100 gowns,” but the episode is a reminder: you can’t buy character—or a chef’s kitchen—on a Range Rover budget. And as always, Watch What Crappens delivers more laughs and insights than any House Hunters episode deserves.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

Ding dong.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ding dong.

[Ronnie Karam]

Ding dong.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ding ding ding ding ding dong. Hello. Well, hello and welcome to Dwell. Hello. It's a Watcher Crappens House Hunters podcast. I'm Ben Mandelker, that's Ronnie Karam. Thanks for listening to us here on Wondery Plus. Today we have a very fun episode. It is House Hunters, Volume 9, Season 254, Episode 6, Drag Room or Art Studio in Alabama. An age old dilemma. And we were. We watched this on YouTube. Ronnie, did someone send this to us? Do you remember?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes, this was sure sent to us. It was sent to us by Amy Jo B. Thank you, Amy Jo.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, thanks Amy Jo. So should we just dive into it, Ronnie, what do you say?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, let's do her. Okay, so this episode, Drag Room or Art Studio. We found this on YouTube TV. It's season 254 episode. If you guys want it, just go to YouTube. And what I did, I searched on YouTube, TV, drag room or Art studio and it popped right up. It was on demand. So that's how we watched it. If you want to suggest an episode, all you need to do is email us at. Watch what crappensmail.com with the subject line Dwell. Hello. Suggestion. If you don't put that in the subject line, we won't see it. Okay. And preferably have it on Max, you know, or HBO, whatever they're calling themselves now. HBO Max. That's the easiest one. But YouTube TV can work too. Okay, let's check it out. Ben, this is Drag Groomer Art Studio. Now I was expecting like a big larger than life drag queen. This was a very low energy drag queen. Is that a thing now or drag queens are just like low energy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maybe. Maybe he's exhausted Maybe this guy's exhausted because he's having to go from Florida to Alabama and back and forth, and he's just like, maybe he's truly leaning into the drag part of drag Queen. Like, life is a bit of a drag sometimes.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's me. I'm that kind of drag queen. Like, I'm dragging my ass kind of queen. But I want to see a drag show. Sasha Colby was in town and did a concert, and I went to see it with my friends. It was so, so good. I mean, I got Dragon away that I haven't gotten it before. I mean, I always get it, but I'm not, like, I don't watch Drag Race. I'm not. I think I'm just not like a drag gay. Because we missed so much of Drag Race when it started. We just didn't watch that. I'm a housewives gay. And so I just. Obviously, drag queens are a big part of gay culture, so I see drag queens all the time. It's not like I'm a stranger to a drag show. But I never really got it to the degree I got it till I saw this Sasha Colby. I mean, my God, it was her two dancers and a little platform that they rolled all over the place. And that was it. They made all. You can tell these costumes were made out of duct tape and poster board. They dressed the little platform thing in different things to make different sets, and then they did everything else with tape flashlights, like wind, you know, like blow dryer leaf blowers or something, like little cheapo wind machines. It was like watching a little kid dressing up in their mom's clothes and just making an art form out of it. And it had never been in that context in my mind before where I was. I really saw. It's like, oh, this is like little gay kids dressing up in their mom's clothes. And they've taken it to this art form. It was so creative and so good. I was so inspired. I just loved it.

[Ben Mandelker]

What did they do, like, when Sasha was changing looks, like, what was on.

[Ronnie Karam]

Stage, they had the dancer. The two dancers would come out and do stuff. They would dance around and all that. And a lot of her changes she did on stage. They had just found really creative ways to, you know, choreograph it and stuff. But, I mean, they did something with trash bags, you know, big black trash bags that they taped together. And then they used fluorescent pink tape to make designs on it. And like a glory hole thing that she was singing through the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Singing through the glory hole.

[Ronnie Karam]

But the Way they were, like, moving it around with. Just moving it around and blowing it with wind from hairdryers or whatever. It just looked so cool. I was just so impressed with what they did with $5.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wow. Yeah, that. That is impressive. Well, drag has really come a long way. I mean, it's really been having a moment for the past, like, eight years or so because of Drag Race, which is really impressive. And I, I, I remember the first time I really sort of, like, I felt like I, I always thought, like, drag was. Was, like, fun. It never really resonated with me, but it was, like, a fun thing to visit and see or whatever. But I remember one time I, I saw a drag show in West Hollywood and. And someone came out and performed, like, dressed like Audrey and started performing suddenly. Seymour. It was so good. It was so good. I felt like I was at an Ellen Green concert. I was like, I get it, I get it. Nevertheless, this drag queen was not showing any signs of any of that.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, exactly. That's my point. So I came home, I saw this Dwell. Hello suggestion. Actually, I think I had already. We'd already picked it, but I was like, wow, I'm really having a drag week. And I was so inspired by watching that show. I was like, this is it. Finally, I get now I drag show here. And I turned it on. And this was the opposite of that. This was like, I love gray walls, you know? This one was like. This one didn't know what midcentury modern means first.

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then kept walking around in all these terrible flips saying how much he loved everything. And it was all that, like, really bad $5 flip with the gray walls and the shitty LVP floors. I mean, just.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is a depressing episode. Mel and Kyle feel that their current Florida home lacks flair. So now they're moving to Montgomery, Alabama, and they want their new place to have more character. I guess that will start by having them not in it because they don't have much to contribute. All right. It's been a long day for me. Long day.

[Ronnie Karam]

Black holes of character. Mel and Kyle want more character to suck into their black hole. Okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

Two people who have. Who have the personality equivalent of drywall are trying to somehow convince us they're in search of character.

[Ronnie Karam]

But guess what? You get to see drywall in a dress. Welcome to House Hunters. The problem is they totally disagree on style. Neither one of them has any. Kyle wants historic charm, but Mel is looking for a groovy seventies vibe. Okay? So Mel, groovy seventies vibe, okay? Also, they're spending five dollars, they want to spend one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Okay, is this what you get in Alabama? Because I'm moving. I'm telling you that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let me tell you something.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'll move. I'll move there.

[Ben Mandelker]

These two, they're like our budget. Well, one of them says the but like, one of them wants a budget of 250, 000. The other one wants a budget of 150, 000. And really, this is one of those episodes where it's really bad penny pinching. And it's like a lot of talk about penny pinching. They are driving a Range Rover through this entire episode. I'm sorry, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear about how like, you're like, like, well, that's gonna be a lot for us. Yes. People spend their money on different things. You're allowed to have a nice car and a small house. That's fine. But like, if I have to sit through and watch you guys choose some lame ass house cause you're like, well, money's really tight for us. Sell your fucking Range Rover and get a nicer house. I'm sorry, I don't want to hear it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, yeah, I mean, especially when the house is that cheap and the Range Rover is that much like, that's. That car's as much as the house.

[Ben Mandelker]

Exactly, exactly. They're driving around in a Range Rover and then they have the balls to come on television and complain about the price of like, the first house they look at is actually like an okay home. And it's like a steal. Honestly, I really. Compared to. Maybe I'm just like used to LA prices where everything is so vastly overpriced, but I think for like $230,000 or $250,000, really not so bad. And they're like, I don't know, I'm like, you have a Range Rover. You have a Range Rover. Stop it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, but that's such a guy thing too, isn't it? I used to live in East Hollywood and it was all these really fancy cars in front of these really terrible, like, rundown places because guys just want the car, you know? It was always a guy getting into these cars every single time. So I think that's a guy thing. Like, you're gonna see my car, it's gonna get me laid. And then by the time you get to my house, you'll be too embarrassed maybe to leave.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know, but then here we go. So we're in Mel and Kyle's kitchen and Mel's kind of the, the army one, right? I was gonna say teacher. He gives me like, like teacher vibes.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think, I think Kyle is the army guy because it's. Linda says Kyle money conscious. Mel is also worried about overspending. So I think Mel is like, Kyle is the one who wants to spend a little bit more because he works in the army or the marines.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So I do get Mel. Even though Mel's like an exhausted drag queen, I kind of get him because Kyle goes, how was your walk? And he's like exhausting. I hate walking.

[Ben Mandelker]

I knew you'd love that opening. You've never had a House Hunters open on such a, like such a deep sigh. It's like I just went. I just like, why did you go for the walk then? How was your walk? Exhausting. Because you know, he says that with everything. Oh, how was your pancake? Exhausting? You know, I don't even like pancakes. Well, thanks, Mel. Next time don't order the pancake. Don't tell us about it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So then we see a picture of them dressed up, you know, and we see Mel and Kyle and their interview.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Mel, there it is, Mel and Kylie. That's what they are right there. Melancholy there. It's in the name Mel and Kyle. That's funny.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Mel's like, we've been together four years and married for three, which is also very quick. That's short, people. That's a non traditional.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is a lesbian timeline, it's not a gay timeline. This is very strange.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, that's really short. I thought so too. And Mel owns a cheerleading gym in Florida which boom. That explains why he's exhausted because that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is nothing says nothing says someone who is in the work of cheerleading. Then how is your walk? Exhausted.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Kyle's currently in the Air Force and he's been there for 13 years. And they're looking for a new home in Montgomery, Alabama where he's going to be stationed after Florida. And Mel is like, well, I do a lot of remote work on the computer. A lot of remote cheer work. So I have 18 staff members and I'm going to come to Florida and work at the gym once a week. So it's only two and a half hour drive. But I'm also a drag entertainer. I do mostly pageants and they are exhausting. I love pageantry. It brings out my exhaustion.

[Ben Mandelker]

Kyle's like. And I like painting on a big and small scale, like all types of mediums to let my mind expand. I was like, wow. When I look at this guy Kyle, I think, look at this charismatic artist right in front of me. Just, just nothing but creativity is oozing from every pore that's on screen.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they own in Florida now, but they're gonna keep that house and rent it. But then where is Mel gonna stay when he goes back to Florida?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. But we see a picture of their house in Florida. It's. They're like, well, it's newer construction. This house was so strange. I didn't, I couldn't even conceive of what was going on with it. I wasn't sure. Was this how the house was built? I guess so. I don't think had additions like this. Narrow, tall, look like a Lego piece that had fallen over. I was like, what is this house? Can we like stop the show and go into their Florida house? Because I need to see what, what the layout is on the inside.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I didn't understand it either. Was it one of those like tall condo things? It was a condo.

[Ben Mandelker]

Strange. It was like. It was like someone took a tiny house and then clicked and dragged and made it bigger. But it's almost like the shape of a tiny house.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's what I want. I want a big, tiny house. That's always been my dream.

[Ben Mandelker]

A big house in the style.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like a tiny house, but slightly bigger. Because I need more room than just a tiny house. I mean, I need like an office and, you know, a place for my piano. Like a house. But I just want to call it a tiny. I want it to fit on a tiny lot and be really cheap.

[Ben Mandelker]

This one a cottage. It's called a cottage, Ronnie. So then they're saying, yeah, they have this house and everything. But it's like it's. It's a house that neither of them wanted. They just somehow, like, I guess they were like, well, we have to buy. And maybe they just bought this house, this strange house. I can understand. I was actually happy to hear them say that they didn't want this house because it was such a strange looking house. I was like, no one in their right mind would actually voluntarily, like embrace this house. They, they, they clearly had to buy this house under duress. It was some strange moment. Someone, you know, when they say, you'd have to hold a gun to my head. I wouldn't do it. I think someone held a gun to their head and said, buy this house. Like, I guess we have to because.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, it's because they're cheap asses. And the first thing that Came on the market. That was new construction. They took it because they said they took it because it was new. And I get that. You know, that's me. That's. That's my kind of thinking there. But I didn't think it was so bad, especially considering the other houses that we see today. I was like, that's cute. It's like a white stucco condo, modern condo type thing is what it looked like to me. But I don't know, maybe I'm remembering it weird.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, Mel sits on the counter as our note taker points out. Mel is a counter sitter. And don't think I didn't notice that as well. He's up there like Carol Radzell, and he's like, I'd really like a mid century modern 70s home, you know, which.

[Ronnie Karam]

Really, I'd love a peanut butter sandwich that didn't smell like your ass.

[Ben Mandelker]

Are homes from the 70s. Mid century modern?

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is that still mid century? No, no. What is it? What are mid century is like 50s, 60s, 40s, maybe even 40s, but definitely 50s.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes. And it's also a specific style. So there's like mid century. Right. So it's kind of like the houses that they see today. Mid century modern isn't just anything from the 50s. Everything in the 50s wasn't mid century modern. It was the modern look that was done in that time. Right. So you know how they had the Jetsons come out, I guess, in that time? Did they come out in that time?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, they were.

[Ronnie Karam]

That kind of look, you know, it was like their version of what modern would be was really cool in the mid century. So that's what that means. But they're just like. They go into anything that's from like, not a 1980. Love it. It's not. What kind of gays are you?

[Ben Mandelker]

And Mel is like, yeah, I want. I want that mid century modern 70s home and that bright front door and that 70s, groovy little aesthetic on the outside. I'm like, you want to live in sitcom house? That's what you want.

[Ronnie Karam]

That is want to live in Mrs. Roper's house.

[Ben Mandelker]

Which is fine. Just say it. Just say you want to be in a sitcom house. But he's so obsessed with the door. And this also cracks me up is when someone comes on this show and makes such a fuss about a front door as if it's like not easily paintable or replaced. It's like, oh, I don't know. I don't know about this door, you know, so he Wants.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, the doors are all the same. They're just painted different colors. Paint the door, people. Paint the door.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, you're saving a lot of money. Okay? Like, how about trade in your Range Rover, get a Kia, and use the money that you're saving to get a door. And also other things. So Kyle says.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Kyle wants historical, whatever that means. And his budget is a quarter of a million dollars, but mel is only $150,000, and he wants mid century modern. So they're. They're not going to agree on anything. I mean, how. How are you a hundred thousand dollars apart? Does that mean Kyle has to pay more? That I think.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think it sounds to me like Kyle probably has, like a higher paying job. I mean, he's been working for the military for 13 years. I think that's probably gonna pay more than, like a cheer gym, I'm sorry to say. So Kyle is.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't know. I feel like cheer people are so rich because those kids are rich people need to be in a cheer gym.

[Ben Mandelker]

Are rich people sending their kids to, like, Mel, the exhausted cheerleader.

[Ronnie Karam]

Of the exhausted drag queen?

[Ben Mandelker]

I need to.

[Ronnie Karam]

I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like I need to sit on this counter for a second. I'm just so exhausted. Make a triangle or something. I'll be with you in a second.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, you're all the bottom of the pyramid. Figure that out.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they. Kyle wants to have more defined spaces because they'll be more personal for get togethers. But Mel wants an open concept. And Kyle's like, well, you said you want to do renovations, right? And I was like, to some degree. It's like, well, you can blow out a wall. That's your renovation. And make it an open concept if you want. It's kind of like if you really. If you really want to. If you really say that you're serious about renovations, then you better renovate so it opens the concept. But right now I want walls.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Kyle's like, well, if we have a house that's defined, can you just blow out one wall? And he's like, yeah, it's a $150,000 house or a $250,000 house. Because if it's 250,000, do be. No walls being blown out. Okay. And you'll be riding to work on a bicycle because we won't be able to afford a Range Rover.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, like it's. Listen, the cake is up. We saw the Range Rover on tv. Okay. You were trying to hide it, but we saw it. So Kyle's like, okay, well. Well, we need three or four bedrooms because my. I need my art studio, and it's gotta be bigger than, you know, than 10 by 10. That was. We had the other place. So essentially, he needs an art studio. Mel needs a drag room, and they just need a lot of space for gowns.

[Ronnie Karam]

And that's. So that's a happy couple to me. If you're just like, you get your own drag room and I get my own art room, I think that's a good. That's a good couple to me, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Because I feel like most of these couples are like, well, I need an office. Well, I do too. I get the office. You know, they're fighting, and this couple's like, no, we want it all. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, hey, might as well. If you can get a big house for cheap and you can get room, like, each person gets a room for their hobby. That is the dream. You know, it's annoying to have to, like, take over, like, the. Like, the. The shared area to do your thing. Like, whenever I play board games, I feel bad because I feel like, you know, I've taken over the entire, like, dining room area and, like, if Dom wants. Have a friend over there to be in a different space.

[Ronnie Karam]

Than the games. Where the games are.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, because. Well, we've. Well, we've mean, they can. They. They can't use the table because I'm using the table.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, well, that's true. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So you bad couple. Bad couple. This couple's a good couple. You guys. Bad couple. No, I'm just kidding. Or hey, hey. And his friend can play some. Some games with you.

[Ben Mandelker]

They do that.

[Chris Duffy]

They go on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that. Once in a blue moon that does happen. But usually they go off to, like, they'll either watch TV on the sofa. I'm just saying, when you have public. If. When you're in a couple and you have like, like public space, like, there's, you know, someone's usually going to use it. And so it's good to have. It's good to have dedicated spaces for your hobbies that way.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, the public spaces can still remain open.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So he needs a drag room because he's got over 500 gowns, which is crazy. You know, it's okay. Wait, does he say 500? No, a hundred gallons, but that's still a lot. That's a lot of gowns. Like, it's okay to, you know, donate.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. Donate to that.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'd love to see that. Thrift store.

[Ben Mandelker]

Drag store's in need. Drag Queens in need. Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like your. Your teacher in third grade just shows up wearing. Looking like Dorothy from the wizard of Oz with a G string. You're like, wait a minute. So Kyle's like, yeah, I love kitchens. I took some interior design courses, so. So listen, I know the value of an upgraded appliance and granite countertops. Wow. That's what they taught you in design course? Granite countertops and appliances, huh?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Wow. Congratulations. Because he took a few courses somewhere, he now knows that, like, good appliances are nice.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he also wants a fenced backyard period for the dogs. Okay, well, I mean, I see the dogs.

[Ben Mandelker]

The dog exists. Are there dogs?

[Ronnie Karam]

We haven't seen the dogs. No, we didn't get to meet the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Dogs, but they're an illusion, so Mel says. You know, I think that what's also at stake is that there's distance between us, between my business and going back to Florida. I want to find a home that's, you know, home. It's like, okay. Then we meet Stephanie Schultz, who's their real estate agent. She sort of has Countess Luann face, but she also has this, like, bright blonde hair, but, like, dark brown eyebrows. And it's like, it's. It's a look that she's going for.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I like that Stephanie showed up to show them how drag eyebrows are done. Yes. These are some drag queen eyebrows. This was serious. Stephanie's like, I'll show you drag. Let's do this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, they're looking for a place in downtown Montgomery where there's entertainment that they're going to ruin by walking in and sighing and saying that they're exhausted. Also, they can be close to Kyle's Air Force base.

[Ronnie Karam]

If you look up there, there's a governor's mansion that was built in 1907. I'll tell you, there's a bunch of fun history attached to that. I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they're like, oh, my God, the governor's in this neighborhood. I love that. Oh, my God. Okay. Governor bragger. He's gonna be like, yeah, we live near the governor. Everyone's gonna be like, not sure I'm gonna brag about that, but sure, sure, go ahead. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're super excited. I'm looking up Alabama Governor K. Ivy.

[Ben Mandelker]

K. Ivy. Listen, she is. She's. She's. She's a little old lady. Hey, Avi, I love the younger photo of K. Ivy.

[Ronnie Karam]

She is definitely K. Ivy. K. Ivy looks like a. Alabama's existing state laws and 2006 constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage are no longer enforceable. Okay, well, there we go. Okay. And okay, I don't need to get into Alabama law, but I was gonna blame K. Ivy for something, but so far I can't find any. On my. On my tiny little microscopic search, I couldn't find anything. Too bad. But she does have good memaw hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

She really does. And like the pictures of K. Ivy through the year years is pretty amazing. She is like, she's got. She's got full on mima hair. She is like a mima hair pioneer. Almost. Like she is. Or she's not a pioneer, but she definitely goes in like the annals of like great mima hairs of all time. Yeah, she does.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, so that's her. So congrats. You got a hot neighbor. Guys. So Mel is.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, I like about Kiv, if you say your name, it just sounds like three letters strung together. It's pretty cool. K. Ivy. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So it's only seven minutes to base and the house today just came on the market and it's priced at 235. And Mel's like, oh my God, that's out of our price range. What the hell? I'm exhausted.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you want to live near K. Ivy or not? Okay, like you don't, you don't get to live next to the governor of Alabama, you know, by paying 30 cents a year. Okay, like, come on, you gotta, you gotta pony up if you want to be in Kiv circle.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's not cheap to live in the same neighborhood as Power Meemaw. So you better get your shit together, Mel. All right?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's called Power Meemaw, not Discount Meemaw. Ok? Sell in that Range Rover and you could be all in.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Kyle likes the curb appeal because it has craftsman style. And Mel's like, oh my God, Instant glass windows. Yeah, they're really overselling this. Let me just tell you. They're overselling this already.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, my standards, we are only on the first first house. But by this point in the episode, my standards had already dropped so low for these guys in this neighborhood and everything that I was like, this is actually kind of cute. You know, it's like an old, old, old house. Old craftsman style house. I was like, not bad. Not bad. No.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think this one ultimately was the best because of the Craftsman at least owed. But the problem that all three houses have is that they were bought and flipped really cheaply. And you can tell the super cheap flips because everything is gray and then all the floors are redone and really. Well, not all the floors. A couple One of them had original floors, but most of them are just, you know, the cheapest tile you can get at Home Depot and the cheapest LVP you get at the Home Depot, that's also gray. It's depressing. It's depressing that they would do that to a Craftsman. Come on, man.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, this. These were all very depressing houses. And, like, we just knew this was gonna be a depressing.

[Chris Duffy]

This.

[Ben Mandelker]

We knew it was gonna be a depressing episode because, like, the budget is so low. And I just felt like this. I was like, this is not. You just know when you're gonna get what depressing house Hunters episode. So they walk in. Place is built in 1914. And Stephanie is saying she's like, this place has got a lot of character. It's a really fun house. I'm like, well, I wouldn't look at this old crafts and be like, what a fun house. But I would definitely. It does. It has character. It does have that same glass and everything. It's like tall ceilings. And Mel loves the tall ceilings. He's like. He's like, oh, I am in heaven. How tall are these things? I love how open it is. And she says, you know, it's a bit of a challenge finding them a home and finding that perfect balance between the two of them compared to what's available on the market. Because, you know, we got the historical character that Kyle is looking for, then we got the open concept and modern amenities that Mel is looking for, and then the considerations that they only want to spend $10. So it's basically what we're looking forward to is like, two branches with a tarp hanging over it. But somehow this house qualifies for their search.

[Ronnie Karam]

But I'm a little confused because I don't think this was an open concept house. This all rooms. But it was saying, it's open concept, not open concept.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was tall, so it had the illusion of space. So Mel is like, oh, my God, it's tall. So it feels airy. But it was.

[Ronnie Karam]

But they literally kept saying over and over, it's open concept. It is not. It's not. Why don't you guys know simple terms?

[Ben Mandelker]

But it had, like. So it had some open ish elements. Like, there was a kitchen that flowed into, like, a dining area that floated the living room, but it had, like, little mini walls. But it wasn't open concept. I think the way we think of open concept. So there was some openness to it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, okay. So Kyle's like, it's a little too open. Because Kyle likes walls. And so Mel's like, but there's a half wall there. And he's like, okay, well, thanks for the half wall. So Mel, to Mel, this is everything he wants and everything he needs. And so they look around. They've got an exposed brick fireplace that I think is okay. I mean, it's just all gray, gray, gray, gray, gray, gray.

[Ben Mandelker]

The floors don't match. It's like there's one floor in one area. And then we go to another area, it's like a different floor. And then another area, there's another floor. Floor, which actually does not bother me that much. I'm not like a floor purist like that. Like, I can have mismatched floors, but I know that's a real. It's a real sticking point for probably most people.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, well, my problem with it was that they're all new floors too. Like, they're all. They're. None of them are the original floors. They're all cheap floors. So if you're gonna do cheap ass floors, at least do them consistently, you know, I mean, it's not. It's normal if you have a different one in the kitchen.

[Ben Mandelker]

But what I, what I thought was weird was that then we go into the kitchen and there's this island. And the island has a totally different countertop than the counters, but the counters have granite. But then the island has some sort of like wooden, like, herringbone thing. I was like, what, what were people thinking?

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, was crazy. Yeah, they had ugly countertops. And then they had an even uglier wood herringbone. It just looks so crazy. And Kyle loved it. He's like, I love this. I love the herringbone. Okay, well, you know what herringbone is, so that's good. And you like to say it, but this is ugly. It doesn't match. But I do like Stephanie because she's trying to be so positive because they're so negative. So she goes. And she goes, oh, well, you'll really like this. Okay, this is the kitchen. Now this is where you're going to do your cooking and your eating. Oh, thanks. Thanks for the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thanks for the insight. So then they go to the backyard. She goes, well, here, everyone. The backyard is huge. And I heard you mentioned pets. And there's not much grass space. I mean, basically this looks like just like a big pit of dirt, you know, but if you think about it, it could be grassy if you actually have a pet. But you know, you can make it work, right? Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they look at a guest room and there's A little fireplace there. And they see there's deer on the face of the fireplace, like artwork. And Carl's like, oh my God, is that a deer? Two deers, three deers. And Mel's like, I don't like deer.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, well thanks for that. An exhausted cheer queen. He just went walking. He doesn't like deer because he sees them walking around so much. Look at the way they walk. It's exhausting just watching them.

[Ronnie Karam]

So much energy. So they look at the next guest room and it's fine. And Mel's like, this is an art room, you know, for all your painting. It has good lighting. And he's like, well, but where's your drag room then? And he goes, that first one off the staircase, easy access. Don't have to wheel my wigs all the way back here. So you take the wheel room, you have fun with your wheeling back and forth, your art that nobody buys.

[Ben Mandelker]

God forbid I have to put a wig on a, on a, on a rack and wheel it down the hallway a little bit. I'm exhausted. Just think about it. It's almost as bad as walking. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So the primary bedroom. Mel walks in and goes, oh my God, this is huge. It's not. And it also has a fireplace. There are fireplaces all over this house. Which would lead me to the question, is there insulation in this?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure that there is. So then the, the bathroom has like a Jacuzzi style bath and shower and like a walk in closet and everything and a shower. They, they, they like how big this bathroom is and everything. And there's like a laundry room and, and then they go down the staircase and Mel is like, this staircase is so grand. I'm like, Mel, how many staircases have you been, have you gone down? This is a pretty, this is a standard staircase. He's like, wow, what does the staircase look like in your janky Florida house? Because I'm afraid you have been. Your bar has been lowered by the, by the architecture. Okay. Like you, you need to get out more.

[Ronnie Karam]

Stephanie's like dead. And walking down it make you feel sort of elegant. He goes, yeah, I feel like I live next door to the governor.

[Ben Mandelker]

He really has a dream. This is like the equivalent of being next to a celebrity. This is like Heather Dubreu living next to Drake. He's like, I'm living next to K. Ivy.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now Mel's like, well, I didn't think I'd like it, but it surprised me. It's not mid century modern but that grand entrance with the grand staircase. Yeah, I could see this. But the big issue is price. Dun, dun, dun. So now they look at the foyer, living area and stuff. And they love the fireplaces. They love the openness. Kyle doesn't like the openness. He's like, I want short ceilings and walls.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's all he wants. Nice cramped area like any artist would.

[Ronnie Karam]

So I think he doesn't want to hear Mel complaining from every room that he's in. You know, like, I think walls are going to come back in style because people realize having open concept, you know, when you see families, like, oh my God, it's open concept. So while I'm cooking, I can watch the kids play. And then they actually get it and they're like, oh, just want to get away from these kids. Like get me in the kitchen and shut the door.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, he also probably wants walls because he can hang his. His hideous art on it. Because that's one thing I have an open concept and one thing that I've discovered is that you. There's actually not a lot of wall space for it to put stuff up. Like, wow, it really. A lot of windows. Windows chew into a lot of the lot of the wall space. So he's probably thinking, I've got art, I want to hang it. I've got nowhere to hang it. If it's all open concept.

[Ronnie Karam]

What do you think his art is like? I think he probably makes like Georgia o' Keeffe type flowers that look like vaginas. But then instead of just being vaginal, they. There's like hidden words like gross.

[Ben Mandelker]

They showed his art at the end. It was, it was not a triumph for me personally. I'm sure it would do well.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's not a triumph. What was it?

[Ben Mandelker]

I just remember it was just sort of just like tacky pop art kind of stuff. It was like good in the sense that like it was. It didn't look like, you know, a five year old. It was. It was like clearly someone with like skill of like being able to like, like has an image in his head and is able to execute it on a canvas. It just to me looked like the kind of art you see in Palm Springs. Oh, it's great for some people.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I'd probably like it then. I like that kind of stuff. So let's see. So they're talking about what needs work. They need finish the floors. They think that'll be around five grand. They like some of it, you know. But now fine with the price because he's Rich as hell, everybody. And Mel's like, do you have anything else possibly mid century modern vibes.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now they go off to house number two and they're driving along and they're like. Mel's like well this neighborhood's promising so far. I mean like now that over there, that's midcentury. That reminds me out of something out of a movie. And it's just like, like a house that's just like, it's just, it's like as, as generic of a house as you can imagine. It's like when you were a kid and you draw a house and it'll be like a rectangle with like a trapezoid on top. Like that is what this house looked like. And he's like, wow, it's just like. It's like stepping into Mad Men. Yeah, this is that mid century modern. It's just. Yeah, from the mid century.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Kyle, this one is 180 grand. And Mel's like okay, well not gonna freak out. We're just looking. We're just. You cannot complain about180,000 house or not on my watch.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, so it was built in 1956. So the timeline is, is really strong. And so they, they drive up and Stephanie's like ha. What'd you think about? Think upon pulling up, he's like well, I don't know if I really love this dress. I think your ensemble yesterday was better. Now about the house, you dummy, not me. I'm not on sale here.

[Ronnie Karam]

He says it's not mid century on the outside, which is false because it is mid century on the outside, but it is painted, all the brick is painted white. So I think they're trying to do that farmhouse crap to.

[Ben Mandelker]

But I think, but here's the thing, like it's a house from the mid century. But I don't think that you look at this house and say like oh, this is like a, like it doesn't look like, I think the mid century that, that they're talking about. Right. I think this is just like a generic brick house. And is, this is like, like the Golden Girls house for instance. I, I believe that looks like a very mid century house. You know, not necessarily an architectural, art history, art, architectural historian, but that, that sort of reads a little bit more mid century. But this just sort of looks like just a brick house. And so even though it is from that era, it's like, it's like, it's really just like not doing very much for me whatsoever. And then he's like, oh, yeah. He's like, well, the front door is kind of meh, but that's fixable. I'm like, are you literally gonna say this on camera? It's like a door. It's literally a door on180,000 house. Spend the 500 to get a new door. And.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I don't know. Well, this is a mid century ranch. Okay, so maybe it's not what you're looking for, but there's some good features. This one's 1800 square feet. And you know, Mel's liking it. Well, Mel doesn't like it because he feels claustrophobic because this one is rooms. This everything is separated into a room. He's like, I can't deal with this. It's claustrophobic.

[Ben Mandelker]

I can't live like this. Yeah, he's really having a hard time with it. And she's like, well, a lot of it has to do with the time period of when it was built, because as opposed to now with more open concepts, you know, that wasn't.

[Ronnie Karam]

The problem is it's mid century.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, yeah, I think. You don't like mid century. He's like, no, I'm looking for mid century. That I like. She's like, well, there's a fireplace and they like the mantle, which is like some hobby lobby mantle. Yeah, it's. You guys, you got to take this quick. It's only been on the market a couple of days. Why are both houses only on the market a couple of days? What's happening in this town? Where's everybody going? I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, this is. I think if I were just to get something mid century, I'd be like, okay, I want you to watch any episode of Mad Men in Don Draper's apartment with a sunken living room. Just find me that. Find me a builder who will just build me that apartment. Even if it's a house, I'll just pretend it's apartment because I've been obsessed with that apartment for like 15 years now. And I'm just like, that would be my dream space. Do you remember that? Did you. You watched Mad Men.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Ben Mandelker]

Remember that apartment? Remember how amazing that apartment was with the sunken living room?

[Ronnie Karam]

That's where she's saying, busy, busy, busy, busy. Whatever, whatever it was. And he's like, you slut. That wasn't good. Were you embarrassing me in front of my friends? Oh, madman. So there's popcorn ceilings. They don't like that. And Stephanie, there's some weird light in it. It's like, it Looks like a floor fan that they nailed to the ceiling.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's an actual, it's like a ceiling fan, but it doesn't have like, it doesn't have like the, like the propellers. So it's just like the aged. It's, it's, it's very strange. And this is one thing where I do think the, the guys have a right to be like, what the is that? But then they're like, oh my God, popcorn ceilings. I'm like, yeah, you're buying $180,000 house from 1956. You're gonna get popcorn ceilings. Get a scraper and scrape it off. It's okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

So there's new tile floors. It's ugly tile, but it's there. And they basically just don't like this one. There's a guest room. It's small and they keep saying it's small. And Mel's like, well, is this the drag room or the art room? It's gonna be one of them guys. That's basically what they say to every room they go into. They're like, I need a drag room, I need an art room. And Kyle has very big canvases. So who's gonna win this one, guys? Nobody knows. But Mel thinks this is like his grandma's house. You know why? Because you want to live in a mid century house.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, this is, this is like the. Here it is again. Like I want to live in a place from my childhood, but he is.

[Ronnie Karam]

They walk into the bathroom, which is the only original thing. It's got all like the blue tiles and the blue. I mean, it looks like it's straight out of that time period. And most people who are looking for this would walk into that bathroom and be like, this is perfect. This is exactly from that time period. I want this. And they're like, ew. It's like my grandma's. This is disgusting.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. So then they are looking at a guest bedroom and Mel's like, now this, this is a drag room. I can imagine putting on a wig here and then sitting down and sighing because I'm tired. And then after a nap, I get up, put my heels on another nap, and hours later I make it to the club. This room is perfect.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, but why can't it be an art room? I mean, I could have art in here. He's like, no, it's a drag room. No, it's an art room. So then they look at the main and this is, I mean it's all fine. It's all ugly. Let's be honest. It's all ugly. So then they look at the living room and this one has hardwood floors, the original. So that's nice. And they do have fireplaces and they like the size of the kitchen. But there's not an island in the kitchen.

[Ben Mandelker]

No island that they. Meanwhile you can just go to IKEA and get one for like $200. But, but. And in fact, even Kyle says that he's like, well, it's okay, we can get an island in there. We can buy it something we could easily put in, you know. But Mel's like, but, you know, it just doesn't give me mid century modern from the outside, like the openness. It just doesn't. Just doesn't give me that, you know, which I think is fair. Finally a fair point.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now they're driving in the car talking about it, and Linda's like, Stephanie found them another ranch with more of the features Mel likes on the inside. But will he be willing to pay for it? And will they have a drag room or an art room?

[Ben Mandelker]

The answer is.

[Ronnie Karam]

So let's see, this is 15 at all. No, I think he doesn't have to. By the end, isn't he like, I don't do shit. Now.

[Ben Mandelker]

We know Kyle's name for all this. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're talking about an upcoming pageant and Mel's like, yeah, you know, if I don't win, I don't get to go to nationals. So I need you to paint me a talent backdrop. I need it to be huge and I need it to have my name in lights.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're like, we're like backdoor, like launching some pilot about like Mel's, Mel's journey, going to nationals, National Drag Pageantry Championships.

[Ronnie Karam]

How do you do that? You can just put up your own backdrops. And that's cool.

[Ben Mandelker]

I, I guess pulls it out of.

[Ronnie Karam]

A little away suitcase. It's got his backdrop, unfolds steam the backdrop. Kyle painted it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So this, this next house is gonna be a ranch style with mid century modern details. And it's listed at 194, so. Or really it's 194 9. It's really 195, 000, which is, you know, it's a little high for Mel, but it still seems dirt cheap overall. And so they go in. This is another ranch house and it has a blue door, which I think they like. I think Mel does not like the red brick, but he likes the door. In fact, he goes, yeah, he goes, ooh, I love the door. So I mean, what else do you Even need to look at at this point. The door looks great.

[Ronnie Karam]

Exactly.

[Ben Mandelker]

He loves the door.

[Ronnie Karam]

But then I got so mad because he goes, yeah, this red brick, I guess we'll paint that, right? No, you're saying you want a mid century home and you didn't like the last one that was just like this one because it was painted. So. Come on, man.

[Ben Mandelker]

They look identical on the outside except for the color scheme.

[Ronnie Karam]

Crazy. So, yeah, he loves the door. So we're done here. So they look at the living room and there are some mid century features, guys. They come in and there's kind of like a shelf thing that's in there. And she's like, yeah, that's a built in. That's original. So nailed it. Stephanie. Eyebrows out, eyebrows out.

[Ben Mandelker]

And there's some sort of chair rail. And Kyle's like, yeah, just rip that out. Rip it out. Like, whatever. Get rid of it. So then the kitchen, this. I actually thought this house, this third house was so generic. Like, I actually don't remember much of it because it was so generic. I remember watching it and being like, I'm not gonna remember what this house looks like because this is just so. It was so meh to me. They go into the kitchen. The kitchen is. It doesn't have a range. It has an area where you'd put a range in, but there is no range. And so this is. This is obviously gonna be an issue.

[Ronnie Karam]

For them, but it will come with one. She says, but still, they can't get over it. She's like, they haven't got it yet, but they are gonna get a new range to put in here. And Kyle's like, but I've taken design classes and kitchens have ranges.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he literally goes, this isn't a chef's kitchen, though. I'm like, you're not a chef, and this isn't. This isn't a chef's house. Do you see the house that you've decided to look at? And you're like, where's the chef's kitchen?

[Ronnie Karam]

You're looking at chef's kitchen for $190,000.

[Ben Mandelker]

Little brick house. And you're like, where's my sub zero? They didn't have a sub zero in here. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now we check out the next room. Oh. Mel goes, well, would they be willing to negotiate the price given that we'd have to buy appliances? She said, they're going to provide the appliances. And a cheap ass range from Home Depot is $500. How much money do you think you're going to get? Taken off.

[Ben Mandelker]

You already have a Range Rover. Okay. And they'll be providing you a range, so don't worry about it. So they look around and Stephanie just keeps on saying this. This place, this room has a lot of mid century details. She's just sort of like generically saying it. But there's like a slope deal. She's just trying to sell it. She's like, just please take this brick house. It's been on the market for. For 10 years. But it has, you know, they like the flooring in the. In the den, so that's nice. Goes outside.

[Ronnie Karam]

The backyard is depressing and it's, you know, the fence is falling apart and everything. And Kyle's like, yeah, not closed off. Not closed off. So install gate. A thousand dollars estimated. Man, things are cheap over there. Because that's not. That's $3,000. I can tell you that a gate should. A lot more than.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's crazy that a gate would be more expensive than a thousand dollars just to put on a gate to close off the backyard. It's wild.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, they have to repair the fence and stuff too, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I guess so. Well, Mel, at one point.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fences are expensive.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, you were telling me that. So then at one point, there's a dog that's barking. And Mel goes, you hear the dog barking? There's dogs in the neighborhood. So that's good. Like, wow, what a. Can you believe it? There's.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's refreshing.

[Ben Mandelker]

There's dogs in a neighborhood. I never. Wait a second. This is one of those suburbias where people have dogs. I can't believe it.

[Ronnie Karam]

We'll take it. We'll take it. There's dogs in the neighborhood. And also, usually people go into their. There's dogs barking. Gross. I'm not listening. I'm not gonna listen to dogs bark all day. Take me somewhere else, you know? But they're like, love it. There's dogs. Could you imagine the dog party?

[Ben Mandelker]

Could you imagine a world with a cul de sac and a sidewalk where people actually walk dogs? That's. I've never even heard of such a thing. I have no reason. All those ostriches around. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Where'S the rhinoceros part? So now it's time for bedroom number one and the inevitable argument. Is this the drag room or the art room? I need it for my drag. I need it for my art.

[Ben Mandelker]

The age old dilemma. It rears its ugly head yet again. Art room or drag room? So then they go into another room that looks pretty much the same one, like the same room. Is like, oh well, this will be the drag room. I'm like, I literally don't.

[Ronnie Karam]

We're an art room or an art room.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh well, what about a room for the dog? Because we're. This is a dog neighborhood.

[Ronnie Karam]

Let's let the dog decide.

[Ben Mandelker]

Eeny, meeny, money paw. So then they. There's this room has like a little nook that has a window which would be good for Mel to have good lighting while he gets into drag. So so that's good for him. And there's double sinks in the bathroom, which is exciting for them. But the tiles are in bad shape and that will cost 500 up to 500 to clean the tiles. So something to be considered.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, so now they go to a bar and they order drinks and they recap all the houses, you know, all that good stuff. Which one did you like?

[Chris Duffy]

The first one.

[Ben Mandelker]

I thought the first one was the best. I think it seemed large. And I did actually, I, I thought the layout was fine. Even though the floors, that was some jankiness with the floors. And I also thought there was some jankiness that that kitchen island situation bothered me. But I felt like overall it was, I felt like it was a good mix between closed and open. And I thought I had character and it just was, it just was nicer. The other two houses were genuinely depressing for me. What about you?

[Ronnie Karam]

I feel the same way. Yeah, the exact. The, the last two were just sad, you know, but the first one was at least interesting.

[Ben Mandelker]

And on top of that, at $235,000, it's actually below the $250,000 budget and they could probably negotiate it down a little bit. So I felt like it was kind of. To me, I, I felt like when I was watching the other two houses, we were just treading water because they were obviously going to take the first.

[Ronnie Karam]

One, but they took the ugliest one, which was house number two. Of course. I don't know why I was surprised. They took the worst one. The worst. And Mel. Yeah, it was just a blank canvas for my art realm. Okay, we get it, honey. So once he made it, well, to see that it could work. So now we see before and after pictures and I have to say I was impressed with their decor. I mean, it looked kind of cute in there. I was not expecting it to.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I hated it.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean it was tacky. But compared, you know, compared to what it could be, compared to their taste level that I've seen so far. I was worried and I was like, oh, that's Not.

[Ben Mandelker]

I. I did not like. I thought they did one room. Well, they did like, I think the front room where they painted the. The fireplace green, and I liked that. I thought that room was well done. But there was one room that had, like, some. Also some sort of strange shade of green in the background. There's just. I. I did not like this. I did not like what they did with it. And then when they showed the art, I was like, no, thank you, ma'. Am. And I was happy for them. Like, I. I like. Like you said, I like that there's a. One's doing art, one's doing drag. I think that's great. But I did not love their choices that they made. That was not great. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then Mel puts on his big blonde wig, and he looks like the lady who works at the Target on La Brea. You know which lady I'm talking about?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, I do.

[Ronnie Karam]

Who I always thought would be a fabulous drag character, so. But his version is just exhausted, so that's fun. And you guys, they did it.

[Chris Duffy]

They did it.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, they got a house.

[Ronnie Karam]

Mel. We find out that he is able to work and keep the gym, and he can be here and be a house husband, which, you know, he likes very good.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, look, they got the best of all worlds. They got a house that works for them. They've got a house in Florida, and they get to keep the Range Rover, you know, so, hey, you know, live your bougie lives.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, that's all you need at the end of the day, you guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, you get to follow your hobbies, be with your hubby, and drive an overpriced car. So enjoy. Enjoy all those expensive, expensive parts you'll need on that Range Rover when it breaks down.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. All right, everybody. Well, thanks for being with us for another episode of Dwell. Hello. We'll see you in a couple of weeks.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bye, everyone.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hey, Sal. Hank. What's going on? We haven't worked a case in years.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just bought my car at Carvana.

[Ronnie Karam]

And it was so easy. Too easy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Think something's up? You tell me. They got thousands of options, found a.

[Ronnie Karam]

Great car at a great price, and.

[Ben Mandelker]

It got delivered the next day. It sounds like Carvana just makes it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Easy to buy your car, Hank. Yeah, you're right.

[Ben Mandelker]

Case closed. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply.